just fic
Title: Walking In My Shoes
Author: Kelly and Mike (collaborative writing team)
Email: Click Here
Posted: 4/19/06 - 5/07/06
Rating: Chapters range from PG-15 to NC-17
Content: Post-NFA, Violence. Angel/Gunn/Illyria battling together.
Summary: Written for a challenge proposed on the Stranger Things message board. Challenge By rousedower. An AU/TT Challenge: Angel goes to another dimension, hence AU, somehow. And in this dimension he is married to Cordy and they have kids. But something happened to the other Angel (he's missing or dead), so there's mad tension and what not between this Angel and AU!Cordy. She knows he's not her Angel, but the kids (a boy and girl) are pretty young and think he's their father. I imagine a scene where their little daughter asks him to read her a bedtime story/tuck her in with Cordy trying to explain to her that he's not her father (really), and he does it.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Notes: While it might appear at first reading that we haven’t met the challenge, I promise that in later chapters, it will all become quite clear. And I know its a really really old challenge but it just sparked something in us. LOL
Feedback: Yes, please. Tell us how we are doing!
PREFACE
The battle was raging around Angel. The smell of acrid smoke, of blood coupled with the screams of battle and death. Angel himself had dealt several killing blows the past several hours and yet the demons and vampires still came. He made it to Gunn's side and turned to get the man's back. "We need to find a retreat," he said. "A safe zone so we can regroup and rest." As he waited for a response from Gunn he swung his sword and took off the head of some lesser demon. The foul odor emanated from it as he did. "For once why can one of them smell like roses or, you know, home baked bread?"
Gunn was having trouble keeping up with the vampire. His hand was clenched around his side to prevent his bleeding while he fought with his axe in his other hand. His blows were wobbly and off mark but he did manage to kill a few of the seemingly infinite army. He wasn't going to live through this fight. He could feel that. His head was light and his fingers tingling. His vision had already started to blur with black closing in around him. He was going to go out fighting. He looked over at Angel, nodding his head. That distraction though, cost him, as a demon sliced clean through his arm. It separated arm from shoulder, his fighting arm falling to the ground with axe still in hand. Gunn sunk to his knees, too weak now to stand. The blood was pouring out of his shoulder wound. With his hand holding his side, he hadn’t the strength to move it to hold his bleeding shoulder.
"GUNN," Angel yelled. Angel allowed his demon to come forth. He ran the killer demon through as he let out a feral roar of rage. When his sword was through the creature he pulled up, cutting the demon open from midsection up to its shoulder. It fell, crumpled. He turned to Gunn and bent down, picking his friend up so he could get him out of the battle.
Gunn was dying. He had predicted it from the moment he came into that alley. He had lost too much blood from the wound in his side and now his arm was gone. He looked at Angel, stopping him from picking him. It would only lose time. More than likely cost Angel his life. "Don't, man. Just...kick their asses." He fought hard. He fought long. He was dying a warrior's death and that gave him an odd sense of peace. He had a small smile of satisfaction as he thought that he would finally get to see all those that had died before him including Cordelia, Wesley, Fred. Even Anne might be there. He doubted she could have lived through this Apocalypse.
"Gunn," Angel said still with that growl in his voice, "Don't die on me, man...don't...."
"I'll tell the girls...you said...hello..." With that, his eyes slipped closed. His body went limp as the life went out of him. His body fell back against the wreckage that was once a street in Los Angeles. The only burial he would get would be under ash and stone from the buildings crumbling around them. Or under another pile of bodies.
Gunn was correct in that Angel taking this time to comfort his friend was going to cost him. Seeing an opportunity, a demon with long, sharp talons sliced along Angel's back. The cuts were deep, slicing through that trademark duster, shirt, and skin. The vampire felt that wound and Gunn dying in his arms just added to his ever increasing rage. He came up with another roar, despite the pain, the sword coming in a high arc with him. It came down on the demon's shoulder and went through it, slicing the creature in two very neatly. Letting his demon now seize the fight, he went for another demon. He'd lost too much the last couple years and he was pissed as hell about it.
Across the battlefield, Illyria stalked towards Angel. She needed to find the vampire amidst all this carnage. Spike had fallen and she felt the need to end this pathetic battle. She cleared her path as she went, her fist covered in demon blood and gore as it ripped holes through any that came in her path. She stopped in front of Gunn's body, her head tilting to the side as she examined the situation. "Another has fallen." She said dryly, lack of emotion to her voice. She looked up in time for her eyes to see Angel cutting down a group of demons.
Angel was too far out of it to notice the God King's approach. All he wanted now was blood of as many demons spilled as possible. He swung his sword at them in a blind fury. He grabbed one by the head and twisted hard hearing the satisfying sound of its neck breaking.
The frenetic pace at which Angel was fighting would be his demise. At least, this was Illyria’s thinking. It had been that way for Spike. She raised her hand. Despite the diminishing of her powers, she still had a slight ability to alter time. Something she had hidden from even Wesley. Her thinking was to slow the demons and keep Angel at the same wild pace. Another demon came at her from the side. Distracted, her offhand shot out to grab it around the neck and pop his head off with her extreme pressure on his neck. When she turned back from killing the oncoming demon, all she saw was the group now standing dumbfounded but still moving slowly. Angel, was nowhere to be found. "Vampire..." She called out. In her distraction, something had gone wrong. Angel was now lost. It could take centuries to find the dimension she sent him too. And her primary concern now was the approaching group of blood thirsty vampires. She was the last one standing.
Chapter One
Angel turned for another demon but as he did all he saw was the courtyard of The Hyperion. It was filled with night blooming jasmine. The fountain was working and koi were swimming in the large part of it. It didn’t look as if it had been in an Apocalypse. His yellow eyes looked for the next attack. Trick...had to be. A psychic demon was putting images in his mind. Angel stretched out his senses. He smelled the air and listened. Despite the wound in his back, he slowly made his way towards the door that would lead into the lobby. He didn't open it though, he just looked in through the glass.
Laying on the floor of the lobby was a little boy. He was probably no more than three or four years old. Spread out before him was an entire large box of crayons, put in an order only understood by the little boy. His feet were up as he drew on his sketch pad, careful not to let the crayon go off the page. Then he has to clean it up. And he hates cleaning. He turned his head, calling out. "Ma! I wanna purple one!" as if Angel had interrupted some conversation.
Angel moved into the shadow of the tree to the side of the door, not yet entering. There were no children in the hotel, except when Connor was little. This boy was too old to be Connor. Angel hadn’t traveled back in time. His money was still on a psychic demon invading his mind.
The small boy paused as something caught the corner of his eye. He had really good senses, heightened like his brother’s. His Da had been teaching him to use them better. He got up to slowly make his way to the door, ever the more curious between himself and his sister and older brother. He could kill a big scary demon. His big brother even told him so. He slowly pushed the door open. The hotel was protected so even if it was a demon out there, it couldn't hurt him.
Angel quickly changed his features back to human. The boy would see him if he looked at the tree. Probably not the best hiding place but he moved to it quickly.
The boy’s head turned to look at the whole area of the courtyard. Something was out here. He could feel it. When his eyes got to that tree, his face lit up. He pushed the heavy door open all the way, crying out. "Da! Da!" He ran as quickly as he could with his small legs, stumbling a few times. He threw his arms around Angel's leg in a hug.
"Da?" Angel questioned then looked down as his leg was glommed onto. He had to brace himself by the tree, the wound on his back starting to take its due on him.
The little boy looked up at Angel with hazel eyes. Just a twinkle of mischief in them. He was the type that was always putting ants in the bed. He went back to hugging that leg once more before curiosity got the better of him. He looked up at Angel once more. "Why you outside?" He let go of Angel's leg only long enough to grab his hand.
Angel frowned. Was he dead? Was this some holding facility of the Senior Partners? "I...I just got here," he finally said to the boy.
"Ma's been sad." The boy tugged at his hand, trying to get him to come inside. "I made a drawing for you. Come see." He was eager to show his father what he had done. Artistic talent at least ran in the kids. Didn't get it from their mother, that is for sure.
"Ma?" Angel said. The vampire moved with the boy but his body protested. He hurt all over. His back felt like it was on fire. Probably some kind of poison in those talons that demon had. That could be causing this hallucinations.
"She is getting posicles with Kat." He near had to pull his father to the doors and then struggled to get the door open on his own. He finally managed it so that he and his father could go inside. Once Angel was inside the doors, he let go of his hand to run down to pick up the paper. He rushed back to his dad, holding it up for him to see. "Its you and Unca Gunn and Unca Wes fighting a bad guy. See.." He pointed to the picture. "This is me and Connor. We are helping." He held the picture higher for Angel to take.
Another voice called out now, coming from the kitchen of the hotel, carrying all the way to the lobby. Cordelia had that mother's gift to reach her children no matter where they were in the hotel. "Ian! Are you talking to Taco again?" She had heard her child's voice but wasn't sure he was talking to. He had an imaginary friend, like most kids his age. She had no idea where the child had come up with the name ‘Taco’ from. Her guess was on Fred with her love for them. He did admire all his “aunts” and “uncles”.
Cordelia decided to check on him though, picking Kat up to put her on her hip. She was getting a little too old for her mom to carry anymore but that didn’t stop Cordelia from trying. Kat was quietly eating an orange popsicle, being very neat about it. Cordelia had two in her hand. A purple one for Ian and a cherry one for herself.
Angel reached down for the picture. He looked at it, studying it then he heard that familiar voice. His head came up to see who it belong to. "Cordelia?" he said.
Chapter Two
Cordelia saw Angel standing there and was shocked to say the least. He had been gone for nearly a week. No phone call or anything. She was fearing the worst. She put Kat down, pawning the popsicles on her (which the young girl was all too happy to take). She rushed to Angel, throwing her arms around him. She wasted no time in crushing her lips against his in a searing, passionate kiss.
The pain hit him but the kiss...the kiss..He dropped his sword and brought his arms up around her. He lost himself in that kiss for a few moments then he started sinking down to the Hyperion floor.
The kiss broken as he started to fall, Cordelia didn't panic. She took him as best she could within her arms and lowered him with her to the ground. She looked at the twins. "Ian...get the first aid kit please. Kat, make your dad a special drink." She spoke with an authority that they had done this before. Once Angel was on the ground with her. She looked at him. "Where are you hurt?"
Ian turned his face away, nose wrinkled up in disgust as he saw his parents kissing. He even made an "ewww" noise. It was short lived though as mom barked out orders. He knew where the kit was. Right behind the front desk counter. He moved as quick as his little legs would carry him to get it. For her part, Kat, who had remained silent and staring at her father, trailed slower behind her brother. She didn't have the same sense of urgency he did as she got a container of blood out of the fridge.
"My back," Angel said. "Demon...claw." Though it probably wouldn't kill him it was making for some very painful moments, not to mention having ruined his best duster and a $200 shirt.
Cordelia just nodded her head. She got to work quickly. She pushed the duster off his shoulders and then started to unbutton his shirt. She tried for a smile. "At least you were wearing your old coat. Not the new one Gunn got you." She moved behind him now, sliding against the floor of the lobby. She gently peeled the shirt away from his bleeding wounds. "Got you really good. Any idea what kind of demon it was?"
"Gunn?" he said. Gunn had never gotten him a duster and Gunn was dead. Angel had held his friend as he died. "Oww," he said as she worked, "Big claws, one big claw on each hand or paw or..whatever. Beak like face.”
Ian came rushing back with the first aid clutched to his chest. He held it out for his mother to take. He looked at the wounds in his dad's back with wide eyes. "Cool" He said almost breathlessly. He looked back to Angel, a ball of energy. "Didja get him good, Da? Kill him good?"
"Ah, yeah," Angel said to the boy. Son...this was..."Cut him in two."
Kat watched as her brother bounced around like a rubber ball. She was cautious in her approach of Angel as she handed him the container of pig's blood. They weren't allowed to use the microwave. She watched Angel with large brown eyes, so deep and soulful, one could get lost in them. She turned to look at her mother. "He's not right."
"Mmmm...will have Wes check it out when he gets back with Fred." She finally got his shirt free of his skin. She took the first aid kit from Ian with a smile. "Thank you, Ian. How about you go get that jar of salve from Uncle Wes' desk?" She wanted to give Angel a moment to recover here. She leaned forward to whisper to him. "You do realize he will want to hear the whole story tonight before bed, along with re-enactments?" She kissed his shoulder softly before her eyes went to Kat. She was already getting out the bottle of iodine to clean his wounds. "We know, baby. Your dad got cut to ribbons."
Angel took the blood offered then after sniffing it, he drank. He looked at Kat and could tell she was a little afraid of him, he could smell it. "Its okay, lil' one."
Kat, however, had the same defiant look of her mother in her eyes. She didn't move any closer to Angel. "My name is Katharine. I am not little. I know that two and two is four." Even her tone was every bit as confident as her mother's was in her Queen C days.
Ian took off again like a shot to get the jar his mother was referring to. He knew the one. He had brought it to her before. He liked to feel helpful. He came rushing back out, holding it out for her to take. Once she took it, he was right back in Angel's lap, looking up at him. "Did you cut those two in two? That would make..." The child paused for a moment as he thought this through. Both of the kids, incredibly smart and not quite human. He held up three fingers. "This many?" He waited to see if he had the right answer.
Looking at the boy, he nodded. "Quite a few." He paused then said to Cordelia, "It feels like I'm on fire back there. Not a good feeling for a vampire."
"I have to clean the wounds out, Ace. Unless you want them to heal up with all this dirt and debris in them. Where on earth were you?" She set the iodine down to reach for the jar of salve. She opened it and then dipped two fingers in. She gingerly applied it to his wounds. It should help to cool his skin, take away the sting, and help his healing along. "Kat..." She warned. "Neither your dad or I is in the mood right now."
"I was at the ending of the world," the vampire replied. "I thought." He flinched at her touch now and then.
"You are so melodramatic, Angel. You were not at the end of the world. Jeeze..." Cordelia shook her head at him. She continued to gently apply the salve to his back. "Did you lose your wedding ring...again? I am taking up Faith's suggestion and just leaving a box of them by the dresser."
Ian pushed the blood back up towards his dad since he barely took a drink from it. In his lap, he could do that. "You hafta drink. Then you will get strong again. I wanna hear the story! But...but you hafta wait for Connor to come home so he can hear it too."
So much is going on in his mind now. Cordelia, these kids...they were a family. Was he dreaming? Did he die and this was his reward? "Okay, lad." Angel said as he smiled at the boy. He drank deeply from the jar.
Kat hung out quietly near the front desk after her mother admonished her. She just watched this man. He looked like her father but something...she didn't know why but he was wrong. Something was wrong about him. Her innate love of her father though, caused her to slowly inch forward. "I don't want to hear that story." She spoke up finally.
"Katty," he said the old nickname he called his little sister, "If you don't want to hear it you don't have too. I promise."
Kat kept a good foot distance between herself and Angel. Unlike her brother, who had no fear or brains, just climbing into the man's lap, she was far more cautious. "I want to hear the story where you rescue the princess." Her tone was very matter of fact that she was going to get what she wants. Anything standing in her way would be demolished by her will alone.
Ian was busy amusing himself by going through the first aid kit. He peeled a band-aid off and put it over a scrape on Angel's chest so he felt like he was helping. His nose wrinkled up. "Not the princess story AGAIN."
"Is that the one where we all went to Pylea," he asked, keeping his tone soft. He looked down where Ian had put the bandage. "Thanks. I bet in 10 minutes you can take the bandage off and that mark is gone, huh?"
Cordelia leaned forward to speak to him. "You want me to half heal you? These wounds are pretty deep." She looked over at the kids then with a smile. "Guys, I think your dad is probably too tired for storytime but how about I tell Kat the princess story and I will tell Ian the story about Aunt Fred and the Duslar and the big bugs?"
Angel wrinkled his nose at the kids. "Eww, bugs," he said, "and there were guts too."
Ian's eyes got wide at the mention of that story. He looked like a kid on Christmas. He tried to get up, almost falling over a few times. "I like the part where Grandpa and Grandma Burkle runned over the bug. Tell that part again!" Not even realizing that he did just tell that part again. But his parents did it so much better.
Kat sat down with her legs crossed over each other about six inches away from Angel now. She started to put everything her brother spilled back into the first aid kit. "I like the Princess story better. Cause she got saved. And everybody lived happily ever after. And cause you had a funny face in that one." She looked up at Angel. She was, in fact, talking about the rescue mission to Pylea.
Cordelia waited on an answer from Angel. Not getting any, well she went ahead and did whatever she wanted anyway. She shook her head. He loved his children so much so she was so used to his ignoring of her sometimes when the kids were around. They had their alone time, which he never ignored. She rubbed her hands together and held them just over his back. Her hands started to glow a soft white, warming Angel's skin like real sun without harmful after effects. She concentrated on using her own energy and life force to merge with his, healing his back over.
That warm sensation caused Angel to sit up a bit straighter. This couldn't be something the Senior Partners cooked up, he so was convinced now. He closed his eyes at the sensation and a slight stupid smile played on his lips.
Cordelia only had enough in her to heal the wounds over so they would no longer be open. He could heal the rest of the way with his own strength. It took about five minutes before she finally pulled her hands away from him. She bowed her head, resting back on her hands to recover.
Ian reached up from where he was standing. He put his small hands on his father's face. He started to play with that smile, moving one cheek up and then the other. He laughed madly as he did so. Even louder when he mushed Angel's cheeks together.
Angel pulled his face away from the young boy’s hands then turned to look at Cordelia. He frowned in concern. "Cordy?" he spoke quietly.
Cordelia looked up at him, raising her head just slightly. "Yes?" She didn't look any worse for wear. She just felt as if she had run around the block. All she needed was five to ten minutes, she would be good as new. "You feel better or you need more blood?"
“No. I'm good. Maybe I need to go clean up now." Angel moved Ian away from him and worked on standing. It wasn’t as bad as it was but still he was sore and tender.
Cordelia watched him get up before she looked back down at the kids. "Well, daddy ruined popsicle time. So how about we go to the kitchen and pick out some new ones? I will even let you guys have the chocolate ones. And then, we can watch a movie upstairs with dad." She didn't yet move from where she was sitting on the floor. She figured the kids would go running off to the kitchen at the promise of chocolate, leaving her and Angel alone for a few moments.
Ian seemed far more excited by this prospect than Kat did. As soon as his father set him down and away, he let out a whoop. "CHOCOLATE! I wanna watch Spongebob too! Spongebob movie." He took off for the kitchen, still letting out little victory cries. Kat watched the brief interaction between her mother and father before she got up quietly. She followed after her much more boisterous brother.
"Now that is not right," he said. "Chocolate!" He called as the kids took off then he looked down at Cordelia. He put his hand out to her to help her up.
Cordelia slipped her hand into his and took his help in getting up. "Since the kids are gone, you think I could have a real hello kiss now?" She raised a brow as she waited for him to make his move.
"Cordelia," he started to say but then he looked at her and those lips. He leaned down to her and kissed her. He wasn't sure how she would accept it at first then he gave in to his own passion.
This man was her husband, the father of her children, her best friend. And he had been missing for days. She was so worried that he was dead. Or worse. There were worse things than death. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his kiss went from hesitant to passionate. The children away and their parents could play. She gently pushed her tongue past his lips, not minding that he had just drunk blood. She was not phased.
He accepted her tongue, how own caressing her's. He didn't care right now if this was some punishment from the SPs or reward from TPTB or another vision hitting him at this moment. All he cared about was now, this moment, this kiss. If only his heart could beat it would be pounding out of his chest right now. Though his heart remained as dead as he was something else was pressing and he was feeling the discomfort and the need. Angel finally broke that kiss and backed up a little. He can't have these feelings. Not him. Its not allowed. He could loose it. Is that what the SPs' want? They have been trying for years to bring Angelus back.
She kept her eyes closed for a few seconds after he pulled away from the kiss. She opened them slowly to look at him. She gave him the smallest bit of a smile. "All these years and you can still take my breath away." She paused though as she noticed the discomfort on his face. She closed the distance between them. "Angel? Are you okay?" She reached for him in case he was about to take a knee to the ground once more.
He frowned slightly. "I'm...maybe it was the battle," he said his voice a bit hoarse. "Years, huh?"
She kissed his cheek very lightly and tenderly. "Why don't you go up and take a shower. Get to bed early. You need to rest to heal. I'll grab the kids and swing by to see Connor so you have the whole hotel to yourself. Nice and quiet. Need to get you another wedding ring anyway." She said with a smile as she gently poked him in the chest. She stopped short, raising a brow as he said the second. "Did you get whammied again? If your memory is starting to go again, we have to get Lorne to come back from his tour."
He looked down at his left ring finger, he then flexed his hand. "Rest might be good. I'm immortal, not indestructible."
She reached for his chin after he looked down, tilting his face so that he could see her now. "No matter what, just remember that I love you. As long as you remember that, we'll be okay. Nothing can be as bad as when you thought you were Liam and went around humping every girl in the office." She gave him a bit of a smile, waiting for him to return it with one of this own.
"I did that?" he said with a raised brow.
She laughed. "Yeah. You chased Gwen around a desk. Cornered Faith upstairs. And stepped right into the shower with Fred. I am not sure Wes forgave you for that." She touched his face softly again, fingertips barely brushing his skin. "Get some rest, baby. Looks of you, you went through Hell these past few days."
Nodding, Angel turned and went up the stairs. Shower was a good thing. Then sleep, not likely. Being alone in the hotel he could do a little snooping and see if anything could tell him about what's happened.
"Oh...baby..." She called out to him as he was halfway up the stairs. "In case you forgot, our room is past the living room and the kitchen. Its tucked in the corner after the kid's room." They had, when she found out she was expecting, expanded their room. Then, when they found out it was twins, expanded even more. When the kids each wanted their own room...well the entire third floor was now their family's.
He paused and looked back at her. He smiled and nodded. "I think I can find it." Then continued on up.
Chapter Three
The whole of the third floor now belong to the family. When Angel stepped inside, on first glance, it looked like any other home in LA. Save for the large, dark curtains covering the windows that faced out on either side of the hotel. In addition to the three bedrooms were two guest rooms in case the happy couple decided to have any more children. There was a dressing room for Cordelia, with a spacious walk in closet, vanity table, and a large picture window to look out over the city and let the sun shine in during the day. Angel had a room for himself as well. A place to escape to either read, as evident by the library, or to draw. Given the sketches littered around, he had been doing quite a bit of that lately. The other rooms were mostly unremarkable. Living room with a television, a large couch for all four to sit on and two recliners. The kitchen had been overhauled as well with all the most modern appliances. How they had managed to afford all of this with Angel's iron clad shut wallet was a miracle in and of itself.
Angel paused looking around the place. Then he moved through it and finding the master room, he started opening drawers. Finding his drawers, he got out clothes. Boxer shorts and a clean wife beater. Finding the bathroom, he stepped in and started the shower. Snooping would come after shower. The allure of a hot shower and soap was too much. Turning it on full, he let it run to heat the water as he started to undress.
Coming out of the shower nearly a half hour later, dressed in a bathrobe, he started checking out the apartment. He came to a door and opened it to reveal an immense closet when he flipped on the light. It was the size of a bedroom. Hell, it probably was one of the floor's rooms. He stepped in and knew these had to be all Cordelia's. She loved her clothes and shoes. He saw a wall of drawers and stepped over to them. Opening them he found, well, in one bras. One panties. One hose and socks. Seems each drawer held only one under garment item. He opened another drawer finding it to hold keep sakes things. He found a photo album and pulled it out. He found a seat in the closet, no doubt where Cordelia put on her shoes. He sat down and opened the album. He started looking at the pictures within it. Wedding photos...He swallowed hard looking at them. Cordelia, in a beautiful gown, looked like a princess from a fairy tale. Him in tux. Photo portrait of them looking at each other while on the dance floor. Her standing with her leg up on a chair, skirt pulled up and him taking off the garter.
Then a few pages past that, pictures of Cordelia starting to show with pregnancy. First, ultrasound pictures pasted among candid photos. Cordy again, huge with babies. Though, he would never tell her that. Then, in the hospital. Cordy, him, on the bed both holding a baby. This was the life he wanted, the dream he'd always had. He got up and putting the album away, he opened another drawer. This one seemed to have personal papers in it. Bank statements of “his” accounts, business accounts, a joint account with Cordelia. Other papers laid underneath. A graduation announcement for Connor from Stanford. Then he opened a business envelope. A school opened by Connor. Financial backing from himself and Cordelia and tax returns.
He had been caught by the little girl though. She had watched the entire thing. So much for going to visit Connor apparently. She was just as sneaky as her father and older brother were. Silent as the grave as she appeared in the doorway, watching him. He was far too engrossed in the pictures to hear her heartbeat perhaps. "Whatcha doin'?" Her voice soft and almost curious sounding. There was an underlying tone though, as if she had just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.
Looking up at the sound of her voice, he put the papers up, not in haste though, just casually. "I was just looking at some old things." Angel said to the child.
She moved closer towards him, stepping into the closet. "Those are personal stuff. We aren't a'ppose to look at them without mom." She still didn't trust this man. He looked like her father but there was something off about him. She couldn't describe it, being so young, she just knew.
"Yes, Katty, I know," he said, "but that is for you and your brother because a lot of this stuff is important. Important to your mother and.." he paused then finished, "...me."
Her head tilted just a little bit so that she could look at him more closely. She was near examining him now. "Connor is home. He is taking his doggie out for a walk." She relayed the message her mother wanted her to give. She was on her way up anyway to go to her room.
The vampire nods to the child. "Okay," Angel said to her. "I'll finish getting dressed and go down." Yes, he did feel like a microbe under a lab scope at the moment. "Katty, is something wrong?"
There was something in her eyes that showed she was wiser than her years. Some sort of consciousness that other humans were lacking. "You're wrong." That is all she says. That is the only way she can think to describe it. Her vocabulary was too limited to describe the unsettling feeling she had.
What could he say to that? He knew he was wrong. This was a dream life for him, a dream he wasn't meant to have. He knelt to get eye level to the child then reached for her hand.
She let him take her hand. She looked down at her small hand in his large one and then looked back up to him. The examination of him had stopped with that touch. She was reading something about him now. Something about that touch. He wasn't bad. Not bad at all. Maybe just tired or sick. That is what was making him wrong. She still knew he was wrong but he was good. She relaxed. "Not bad."
"No," he said to her. "Not bad." He pulled her to him now that she seemed relaxed to hug her. He couldn't help it.
She threw her arms around his neck now that she felt he wasn't going to hurt them, despite being off. She whispered softly to him. "I missed you, Da." Her little face buried into his neck and she started to cry. At first glance, when he felt wrong, she thought it was a trick. Da had taught her that things aren't always as they seem. There are lots of tricks out there. He could have been a trick. But when she touched his hand, she felt no ill intentions.
He stood up holding her as he did. Walking out of the closet, he carried her. He kicked the door shut with his foot. "I...I missed you too. Your brothers and mommy."
"You went away after I said those mean things. I'm sorry. I didn't mean them. Honest. I won't fight with Ian no more." She had blamed herself for her father leaving. He said he was going out to take care of some demons but she knew the truth. He had left because she fought with her brother. And he didn't come home. As much as she didn't like her brother or him putting bugs in her hair, she'd be good now.
"Hush that talk now." he told her as he sat on the couch with her. He pulled her back so he could look at her face. She so looked like her mother must have at this age. " You did nothing that made me want to stay away. Its just that sometimes things happen that we can't control and it seems its all in the hands of The Powers."
She looked at him for a moment, her cheeks stained with tears, her nose running. She sniffled, trying to pull the snot back into her nose. She buried her face against his chest again. "Promise you won't leave again. Please."
Angel just held her for a moment trying to think of what to say to that. "I can promise you that no matter what happens to me you, your brothers and your mother...you are all in my heart and part of my soul. And you know how import a soul is, right?"
She nodded her head against his chest. She turned her cheek to rest against his chest now. She was still sniffling though, barely crying. She was starting to calm down and get sleepy from her outburst. "Daddy...will you tell me a story now?" She was asking nicely, not demanding it like she was downstairs. And not demanding him to tell her a certain story. He could pick.
"Hmmm, let's see now," he said trying to think of something. He wasn't very good at this. Did having kids change that in him here? "Once upon a time on a far off island, that was so green and beautiful it could make a man cry, lived a fair maiden. This maiden's name was Katharine..."
Chapter Four
Since Angel had been gone for near a week, Cordelia didn't want to interrupt his time with the kids as he tucked them in for bed. Kat was easy. She was asleep against her father's chest when Cordelia finally made her way upstairs to get ready for bed. Ian, Ian would be a whole other ballpark. He was far too excited about hearing his dad's story to settle down. She glanced at the clock. She was right. It was taking longer than usual. She went back to reading her magazine, having gotten ready for bed already. It was so rare that she had a few moments to glance at some back issue of Cosmo (there is no way she could stay current) that she wanted to savor this hour to herself. No visions. No kids. No nothing but Twenty Tips to Please Your Man.
She wasn't trying to embark on some grand seduction of Angel. With him, it didn't take much. He had decades and decades to make up for without getting any. Though, to be honest, she was hardly in the mood. She was still feeling drained from healing Angel. And the stress of worrying about him missing was still taking its toll even though he was here. There was also some niggling feeling in the back of her mind that she just couldn’t place, some voice trying to tell her something. And trying to ignore it was making her exhausted. To be honest, she would be more than happy to just hold him and talk. She yawned softly, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. Apparently, those Twenty Tips, little on the boring side.
Finally, Angel came in the room. "I never thought he'd go to sleep." he said with a chuckle. He pulled off his robe then slid into bed.
"He is just excited to have his daddy back is all. And you know how he loves the war stories. Connor's been putting him to bed this past week with all these tales about growing up in the Hell dimension. Surprised Ian hasn't woken up with nightmares." She shook her head. She closed her magazine and put it on the dresser next to her side of the bed. She looked at Angel, watching him as he got into bed with her. "How are you feeling? Back? Memory? Any of it better?"
His smile faded. He didn't look at her. He looked at his hands. "My back is much better." the vampire said. "My memory...this doesn't seem like my life. It seems like somebody else's. What I remember is...so different."
She reached for his hands as he looked down at them. She used one hand to tilt his chin back up so he could look at her. "When Wes gets back, we will have him take a look at you. I already called Lorne. He is cancelling the rest of his tour to come back. We will sort this out, just like we always do." She offered him a smile, hoping he would exchange it with one of his own.
Angel let his eyes take in her features. He finally spoke, "We're happy, right? Good together and for each other?"
She laughed just a bit when he said that. "You drive me completely nuts. But I am nuts about you. You always tell me how much you love me, how happy you are. And we haven't missed a Saturday night date night in five years. Even if it means we have to go kill stuff together." She hesitated though, her smile shaking around the edges, threatening to disappear. "Are you having some kind of...crisis? Is that what this is? Leave me to run off with some blonde?"
"I remember I loved you. I finally realized that I loved you. Things happened and I never got to tell you...then you came back and in one moment we did tell each other then you were gone." He moved so he could take her in his arms. Her scent fill his nostrils. Angel kissed the top of her head gently.
Cordelia was stiff in his arms. Something about what he said. She pulled away from him. "Why are you talking in the past tense? I "loved" you. I "realized". What do you mean by that? I never went anywhere, unless you count Pylea. And you were still so deep in the Buffy-love, you were swimming in it."
"Actually it was just before Pylea that I realized what I was starting to feel." he said. "Past tense, I don't know if I can explain it or not...what I remember or why it was like that."
"I think I should try Wes again. There might have been something in those claws that is messing with your head, affecting your memory. I told you not to go out alone. I wish just once you would listen to me. I am your Seer for a reason. And your wife. I think that earns me a little ‘Listen to Cordy-ness’." She moved out of the bed and got up. She was looking like she was about to pace. Or maybe she just needed to stand to collect her thoughts. Her face was just clouded with worry. That nagging feeling was getting more and more intense. Something just didn’t feel right. She just attributed it to her worry over everything. Nothing more than that.
"Cordy," he asked her as he reached for her hand as she stood. "How is it we...we enjoy each other and I don't go..or get perfectly happy?"
She sighed as he touched her hand. She couldn't be upset with him. That demon (or demons) had to have messed with him. That was the only explanation she could come up with. Demons caused the memory loss. She was just happy he was finally home, no memory or not. She sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at him. "Wes...he found a way to permanently soul you. He...after the night at my apartment, a few days later, I went and talked to him. We locked you up, took your soul out and put it back, curse free. Had to call in a lot of favors in the underworld. And the first few times, I still had to keep you chained up just in case."
She neglected to tell him, however, that after they took his soul out, Angelus managed to escape. He had a fun filled few days in LA before they recaptured him and did the spell. Or how Angel spent several weeks after that in a brood over what he had done.
"So, Angelus is just a memory..." Angel replied. Oh, if it could be so true. Maybe it was, maybe she was right about his memory and this thing messing his mind up. "And the kids, are they, well, you know...biologically mine and if so how?"
"They are yours alright." She chuckled but just barely as she looked at him. "That was all Fred. You and the guys had gone up to Sunnydale to help out Buffy and the Scoobies. A few weeks after we got married. Fred was playing around with some Mohra demon blood. And she figured it out. She mixed it with your..." She hesitated and then gestured vaguely around near his waist. "Stuff, it would come back alive. So we took it to a clinic and first try, I got pregnant with the twins."
"Wow...that's...Being a dad again and this time raising them, not missing those years." He shook his head in wonder at it all. He was really starting to like where he was now.
"Before you left to track those demons, we had gone to the clinic to try again. I took the test but it was negative. Maybe once we get the memory thing sorted out, we can try again. We'll have to take another high profile case though. My inheritance is almost gone." That explains all the renovations to the hotel. Or at least, seemed to. Coupled with the fact she made Angel sell the rest of his properties and a few antiques when she found out she was pregnant. They lived a comfortable life now.
"Inheritance?" he asked because where he was from the IRS took care of any and all chances of her having an inheritance.
She nodded her head. "My grandmother. She couldn't give it to my parents, who knows where the hell they are now. Not like I care. She had a change of heart once I got married, had some kids. Then, we got that huge secret check from my mother that no one is suppose to know about. Came from a "client". Maybe get another one if we have another baby."
Angel paused in realization of something she had said earlier."Let's not bother Wesley....Wesley? You were going to call...Wesley is alive?"
"Um....yeah...." And then she remembered his memory loss. "Wesley and Fred left tonight to try to find you. Gunn and Gwen went out last night but nothing. We were all taking turns. That is how worried we were, Angel. You might not remember your life but you have to remember your family loves you. We worry about you."
"Let's just, I don't know..." he said pulling her back down into bed. "Let's just pretend that tonight our problems are just all gone. Or we have none and we're all just...normal."
She laid back against the bed with him, turned so that she could look at him. She sighed softly. "I can't...you know...I am too tired from healing you." She was assuming that he meant making love with the whole no problems line. She moved a little closer to him. "Unless you are fine with just some cuddling and kissing?"
"I'm more then fine with that," the vampire said as he wrapped his arms around her. "I can't think of any place else I'd rather be."
"Well...I know how...primed you get after a fight. I am lucky if I get out of here with my clothes intact." She laughed as he wrapped his arms around her. She looked up to his face. "Do you even remember anything? That first night when admitted our feelings or the first time we made love or rather, about the fifth or sixth when we weren't so nervous...or our wedding?"
Angel relaxed his hold on her. Shaking his head, he replied, "No. I can't. I...the last thing I remember is The Apocalypse coming down on those of us left standing to fight. I'd killed the dragon then Gunn died in my arms...a vicious beast went for my back and then next thing I knew I was in the courtyard gardens."
She reached up, brushing her thumb over his cheek. "Angel...that never happened. You know that, right? Gunn is alive. Talked to him on the phone tonight. We fought in a lot of Apocalypses together but never any with a dragon." She paused for a moment, her eyes searching his for any sign of recognition. "I wonder if Wolfram and Hart is messing with your head."
He frowned when she said that. "Would my saying that for the last year I was CEO of the L.A. branch of Wolfram & Hart make you think they had?"
She couldn't keep a serious face when he said that. She started to laugh. She thought he had to be joking about that. "You and your jokes. That is one of the better ones. I'll have to tell the guys that. They will get such a laugh."
However, he wasn't laughing. "I'm serious, Cordy." Angel said to her. "I was CEO. It was handed over to us after we beat the Beast and Jasmine...after all the chaos and horror they wrought on this city. Even down to killing everyone at Wolfram & Hart."
She reached to take his face in her hands, looking at him. "Baby...that didn't happen. We took care of the Beast. We stopped The Rising." Her eyes moved back and forth to look into his. She was hoping he could remember even a fraction of that. "The past year, we've been helping Connor with his school, working cases. You were tracking that demon faction that was killing Slayers and Watchers...like the Bringers were?"
"To me though...it happened." he said. "I wish I could say it didn't. I can't."
She sighed softly. This just like the time he thought he was Liam, that he was back in Ireland. He was convinced that was real. She didn't know what to say or do until Wes got here to sort this mess out. "Do you love me? Do you know if that much is real?"
He looked at her now. "I love you." he said. "I've loved you for some time and not even realized it. Probably why I put up with your poor phone skills and bad typing in the beginning."
"What? I did not have poor phone skills and bad typing! I will have you know that I was and still am, an excellent secretary! And look what I had to work with. Mr. Kicked Puppy. Did you even ever smile once before you met me?"
"Oh, yeah, that's why Doyle had to look up that search that time." he reminded her. "Though you did come around in about two years."
"You are so about to be in trouble, oh husband of mine. You want to go for final death here?" She raised a brow. She was looking at him with a smile, however. "Doyle, loved him, but he drank. I can't help it if an Irish didn't get my filing methods. You sure don't."
"Oh, Mrs. Thomas was filed under F because she was French?" He starts to chuckle. "Mr. Poulin was filed under B because you said he was a bastard."
"He WAS a bastard! He talked at my tits. AND his check bounced." She reached over and she drilled her fingers into his side to tickle him. She had to do it extra hard since he was a vampire. "You are so getting it now, Champ."
"Okay, no fair." he said as he tried to wrestle away from her. But then what do you do when you not only get it from your wife but then suddenly two little screaming mimis come running in and start in insisting on helping their mother battle the vampire?
Ian let out a battle cry as he charged the bed his parents were on. The door was slightly open, which means they weren't doing that funny wrestling they do. He launched himself to land on his father's back. He started to tickle Angel's neck, giggling like a madman. There would be no sleep tonight!
Kat had been more cautious. At the foot of the bed, she slowly pulled the covers down while Angel was distracted. She let the bedding drop to the floor, Angel's feet now exposed. She used her small nimble fingers to tickle the bottoms of his feet. They had done this before.
Cordelia was laughing so hard at this point that she could hardly continue her tickling of her husband. She wrapped her arms around her middle, falling on her back, laughing loudly as the kids gave their father the royal treatment.
When those little fingers go at the bottom of Angel’s feet, he jumped. Angel wasn't expecting that. Now, he was on his hands and knees whirling around to face what was doing it. Ian probably thought he was now a cowboy on a bucking bronco.
Ian let out another howl of laughter as his dad spun around. His arms were held tightly against Angel's neck so he didn't fall off. "Yeehaw!" It was clear by his enthusiasm, they have played this game before.
When Angel came face to face with Kat, the little girl just gave her daddy a small, innocent looking smile. She moved closer, like she just might want a hug but then she started to tickle him on the inside of his elbow. She was quite the sneaky child.
"Oh, I see how it is in this house!" he play-growled at them. "All pick on one, huh?” He lunged forward at Katty and play-growled once again while Ian spurred his bronc.
Kat let out a peal of laughter, sounding like his laughter actually. Just a child version of it. She was caught by her father but squirmed in his arms to try to free herself.
He stopped and whispered to Kat. "Look at mommy laughing and not being tickled at all. I bet she is just begging for it. Her belly button, go for it."
Cordelia had heard that, despite Angel’s attempts at whispering. She got off the bed, covering her stomach. "Oh no you don't, Angel." She snickered and went to get a camera off their dresser. She stood back so she could take pictures of this moment.
Ian patted his father's back. "The horse is not suppose to stop, Da!" He tried to kick his little legs like he had seen on the tv, to get the horse to go.
The Angel-horse leapt from the bed, staying on all fours. He was pretty certain the monkey on his back can hang on. He neighed as he charged after the mommy dragon for the knight to try and slay.
Cordelia just continued to click off pictures as Angel went crazy. She laughed and set the camera back down as the two got to her. "What is this, huh? Full frontal assault?"
Kat ran over and wrapped her arms around her mother's leg. Those girls have to stick together. She stuck her tongue out at the boys before moving behind Cordelia to hide herself.
Ian held on for dear life as his father bucked up and off the bed, going on all fours over to mom. He waited for Angel to stop before he stood up on his back. He called out. "I am the Champwion and I am here to rescue the princess from the evil demon" That demon, however, was his sister. Kat was always the demon in these games.
Angel came up on his knees like he was a raring horse as the Champion proclaimed his mission quest.
When his dad reared up, Ian nearly fell off his back. He had to surge forward to hold his father's neck for dear life. That is when Cordelia stepped forward, moving to take Ian off his dad back. "Okay, Champion...the princess and your trusty steed need to get to bed. As do two children." Cordelia managed to hold onto Ian and reached for Kat's hand. "There will be time enough tomorrow to play dragons and princes with your dad. Promise. So let's go...off to dreamland." She waited for Kat to take her hand. She looked back to Angel. "Just give me thirty minutes to tuck them in."
"Love you guys!" he said and it seemed....natural for him to say it as he watched them leave the room with their mother.
Chapter Five
While Cordelia was putting the kids back to bed, Angel got up off the floor and went back to the bed. He looked at the picture in the frame at the bedside. Cordelia and him, not looking at the camera. She was looking up, somewhat over her shoulder and he was behind her, looking at her. How could this be? This type of life was something he'd always dreamed of. But in his dreams, he was human again. Real. So maybe this wasn't the doings of The Senior Partners. They would have made it all true...if just in his mind.
Cordelia slipped up behind him, putting her arms around his waist. She stood on her tiptoes so that she could put her chin on his shoulder. She had rationalized her hesitation while tucking the children in. She was worried about him. He had been gone for a week, he came back looking like he had been to Hell and back. That is all it was. It was just her worry causing that niggling feeling in the back of her mind. "That was taken on our honeymoon. Outside some little pub in Ireland."
He still looked at the photo. "You know, for me, I haven’t been back to Ireland since...since I left the first time."
"No..." She reached for the photo to take it from him. She set it back down on the dresser by the bed. "We went there for two weeks for our honeymoon." She had hoped that something, anything, could trigger his memory. It only made her worry that much worse. "Just let me call Wes. Please."
Turning to face her, Angel shook his head. "Tomorrow." he said. "Its late and he's probably in bed."
She gave him a small bit of a grin. "Probably in bed with Fred right about now. Thank the powers he wised up and dumped Lilah." She shook her head. She reached for his hand. "We should be getting to bed too. I think I was promised some kissing and cuddling?"
"Hmmm...yeah, you were, weren't you?" Angel turned her to the bed to sit her on it.
Cordelia sat down on the bed, giving him a smile. "Don't go too far. I will probably fall asleep in the middle if you try to have sex with me. But...you ask very nicely...I think I can let you get away with a love bite." Though she knew he shouldn't be on human, she didn't really count. The half demon in her seemed to calm him, heal him faster. It was a balancing force. Something he desperately needed in his life.
He smiled at her then leaned to her and kissed her. His hand came up to caress her face then run back into her hair. He laid her back, not breaking that kiss. She tasted so sweet to him that he had to have more. He pressed his tongue on past her lips.
She laid back against the bed. Now this was more like it. Kids wouldn't be up again or if they did, they would go bother someone else. She had the forethought to lock the damn bedroom door. Her lips parted just barely as she meet his tongue with her own.
Angel was losing himself in her. He was starting to believe that is was where he belonged, that whole other life was a delusion from the poison. He began to think when the poison finished coursing through his system, that he would start remembering. He rubbed his hand over her thigh as he kissed her. With the promise of a love bite and his arousal, his demon came to surface. It was not just the fangs that became sharp but the lower teeth and the teeth between those menacing fangs. His sharpened teeth nicked her tongue and the teasing taste of her blood flavored that kiss. It took everything he had not to moan with that first taste.
She was probably the last person she ever thought would have a thing for vampires. Then again, she didn't have a thing for vampires, she had a thing for one vampire. The one who's hands were now roaming all over her body. Who's lips were pressed to hers. She broke the kiss despite not wanting to. She had to breathe. Her hazel eyes met his yellow ones as she reached up to touch his face. Yes, this was a face she could love. Did love. She used her other hand to move her hair, two small marks already on her neck. They had faded long ago to just two tiny pink scars from where Angel had marked her for good. The other bites on her body would heal but not this one. This was permanent.
His first reaction instinctively was to flinch back as she touched his true face. Her warm fingers exploring the now prominent ridges of his cheeks and brows. The wider nose and nostrils for sensing prey. He had long learned to control some of it. He kept his hands from becoming claw-like. Angel looked down when she moved her hair aside. He knew that mark was his, though he had never marked anyone before. He could sense it. He brought a hand up to touch it and feel that pulse throb under it.
Her eyes slipped close as his fingers brushed against the mark. How could he doubt that this is where he belonged after seeing that? The pulse under her skin quickened at his touch, in anticipation of what was to come. She shivered just slightly in anticipation also. She trusted him. That he would never hurt her.
He leaned down and kissed her neck first. Then ran his tongue over the place which would dull the pain. He kissed again then repeated his earlier actions. He wanted no pain for her. Never any pain caused by him.
She shivered again as she felt his cool tongue against her neck. She wrapped her arms around him now as he worked. Her hand touched the back of his head gently as she waited for that moment of quick pain. She drew in a sharp sounding breath, her chest rising up to press against his. Cordelia felt something else rising to press up against her since he just had his lounge pants on. But then vampires, by nature, were in a constant state of arousal. Something Angel had to deal with since having a soul. One reason why, probably, that kept to himself for so long. Remove all temptation and live like a monk. And she was all too well acquainted with his arousals and appetites. Usually, she was more than happy to indulge him. However, the extent of injuries to his back was bad so she had to use a lot of her own energy to heal him. This, she hoped, would be an acceptable substitute. It had been in the past. Angel’s fangs sank through her skin to open the vein and he fed from her slowly. Her body surged up against him as he started to feed. Her breath held, eyes now open to look at really nothing at all.
He finished then pulled back after sealing her wound. He did it slowly but when he pulled back his human face was there. "You okay?" he asked in a hoarse whisper. He had all the signs of someone who was high on something, but that was normal after having even her partial human blood.
She let go of that held breath finally and allowed herself to breathe again. It was painful when he bit her but painful in a good way. She had to try to think about anything to keep herself from going further. She was thinking about Gunn and Wesley singing showtunes. When he spoke though, it shattered the image of them holding each other as they sang "Memories". She tilted her head down to look at him, a small smile graced her lips. "I could go for some rocky road ice cream but other than that...."
"Stay right there and I'll get it," He pulled back from her after giving her a kiss on the cheek. Blood breath not a plus and he knew that.
She laughed when he said that. She reached for his shoulders to pull him back to her. "Kidding, baby...kidding. Right now, all I want, is to fall asleep in your arms. Think you can manage?"
Being pulled back down, he kept a serious face. "Its a tough job, but somebody has to do it." he said as he wrapped his arms around her trying to get his mind off his other problem he should probably go take care of.
"After I fall asleep, you can go out and beat stuff up." Though her blood might have had a calming effect as opposed to the either broody or violent funk human blood put him into, she knew that denying him meant he would leave to take out his frustrations on something evil. Such was her life and she had accepted it long ago. She grinned at him though, his comment was far too amusing to pass without a comment of her own. "Hey, too tough for the Champion, I can always go ask one of the other guys around here to hold me. Don't think I will have a problem finding one."
"Yeah, well," he shifted a bit. "I don't have to go out to kill what I have too. And sure, you'll find it hard to find takers because they know I'll kill them, or the very least torture them for a few days."
"Oh Angel, you always know exactly what to say to a lady." The sarcasm was dripping in her tone but she was looking at him with a smile. She settled in against him, closing her eyes. "I am beat..." Just an observation on her part. Healing him and letting him feed, she would be out like a light for at least eight if not ten hours.
Angel held her until she had drifted off to sleep. Like his Cordy, or rather, the one he remembered, she seemed to be able to sleep through a bomb blast. He remembered how she snored at the ballet and drooled on the sleeve of his tux jacket. He didn't complain, though. Her leaning on him, even in boredom, felt right. He slipped out of the bed when she was snoring and moved to the bathroom. And the shower started.
Continue on...