Title: Walking In My Shoes
Author: Kelly and Mike (collaborative writing team)
Email: Click Here
Posted: 5/10/06 - 5/14/06
Rating: Chapters range from PG-15 to NC-17
Content: Post-NFA, Violence. Angel/Gunn/Illyria battling together.
Summary: Written for a challenge proposed on the Stranger Things message board. Challenge By rousedower. An AU/TT Challenge: Angel goes to another dimension, hence AU, somehow. And in this dimension he is married to Cordy and they have kids. But something happened to the other Angel (he's missing or dead), so there's mad tension and what not between this Angel and AU!Cordy. She knows he's not her Angel, but the kids (a boy and girl) are pretty young and think he's their father. I imagine a scene where their little daughter asks him to read her a bedtime story/tuck her in with Cordy trying to explain to her that he's not her father (really), and he does it.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Notes: Cast List: Kelly writes for Cordelia, Gunn, Lorne, Lillian, Kat, Ian, Illyria/Fred, Lilah, Eve, Faith, Gwen. Mike writes for Angel(us), Connor, Wes, random filler chars.
Feedback: Yes, please. Tell us how we are doing!
Chapter Six
It was mid day when Angel left the apartment upstairs. Cordelia had taken the kids down long ago for breakfast and to start their lessons. She had explained that they started their schooling early because of the intelligence the twins showed. She also told him they had settled on home schooling, at least until they could be sure they wouldn’t tell the fanciful tales of demons and vampires at school, especially Ian who loved to re-enact the stories of the battles that his father and the others would tell. Cordelia said that that is all they would need would be to get called to the school for a psyche exam for the whole family by Child Services.
Angel stepped into the office and found the coffee maker with coffee already fixed in it. He poured himself a mug, even though he couldn’t taste it, the hot liquid felt good going down his throat. Well, he could taste it somewhat and he made a face. This was still the same. Cordelia still had the same talent for making coffee. Of all the things his taste buds could register was bad coffee. It made him chuckle and made things feel all the more right.
He needed to get down to the job of trying to find out a few things about his life here so he sat down at the desk and turned on the computer. He hated these things. He hated cell phones. However, while working at Wolfram & Hart, he had to pick up some of the modern skills. No more paper memos, it was all done electronically. Oh, he’d always knew how to do the simple things on one, but he kept that to himself and let the others go on about him and his techno-challenged self. Sensing something he looked up from the computer screen to the door of the office. Angel smiled, it was his son.
“Connor.” he said standing. What he remembered was Connor just regaining his memories and the day he spent with him before that final battle. It was nice. Then he showed up at the office to help fight.
“Dad,” he said as he stepped in with a raised brow. “Finally get up the nerve to touch the beast?”
Angel looked from Connor to the computer monitor then back. “Uh, yeah. Nobody was around so I thought I’d just…you know…”
“Don’t worry,” the young man said, “I won’t tell you’re hooked on Rebel Assault. Caught you playing it the other day.” Connor stepped on in. “Did you find what was attacking the school?”
Angel cut off the monitor so he could concentrate on talking to his son. “I…I’m not sure.” the vampire said. He swallowed as he walked around the desk to sit on the corner of it.
“You were gone a week” Connor replied with a bit of a frown. “What happened? We were worried you might have been killed. Something must have happened during that time.”
“Something did.” Angel acknowledged. He explained to Connor that his memories had been altered or something and where his memories seemed to start differing from everyone else’s. Of Cordelia never making their meeting place. Of Connor being there and sealing him into that metal coffin with the single window and being trapped at the bottom of the ocean for three months. Jasmine and her defeat and that of being offered Wolfram & Hart and taking it. Giving Connor the life he had never had, including taking away his memories of his real father, then of the final battle and finding himself here in the courtyard garden.
Connor listened to this. Whole ranges of emotions came over him as he heard his father re-account all this. When Angel had finished he remained silent for a long time absorbing all this. His first reaction was that his old man had finally went over the edge. That maybe with his years senility finally had set in.
“Yeah, well, that sinking you to the bottom of the ocean,” he finally spoke, “not one I thought about. Though I have thought about a few other devices of torture. Not normal teenage thoughts about parents and ways to make their lives miserable as possible. Most of them, I’ve found, are on the lines of just flat killing. However, when your father is already dead, you have to get creative.”
“I’m just sorry I don’t have anything useful.” Angel said. “Maybe whatever is doing this is what messed with my memories to throw us all off track. Maybe it was because I was getting too close?”
Connor shrugged. “Why go through this kind of trouble instead of just killing you?”
Angel shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe it wants to mess with us first.” he said remembering how he used to love to do just that. Angelus had considered this type of torture an art form to be both enjoyed and admired.
“Well, its just good to have you back, no matter how mental you are.” Connor said and started back for the door. “I’ve got to get back to the school.”
Angel tried to think a moment even for one small memory. “Connor, just…just what is this school exactly? Have you kind of developed a new Watcher’s Council?”
Connor paused. “You just really don’t remember a thing, do you?” the young man said. “When Willow woke all these slayers they had no place to go. Giles was overwhelmed. You and him talked and decided to open this school. Giles now heads the New Watchers’ Academy. I was put in charge of the Slayer Academy. I mean whom better to learn from then the son of two vampires? You, mom, Gunn…you all help. Help teach them their skills and the skills of vampires.” Connor chuckled, “Though I admit the first time you came over those girls went crazy with their spidy senses because a vampire was in the house. But now that they’ve learned to control it…not so bad.”
“Yeah,” he replied, “I imagine I set off a few inner alarms and probably not a picnic for me either, being in a school full of slayers. I am still what I am.”
Connor nodded and gave his father a slight smile. “Yeah, you are. And sometimes that means you’re a real jackass.”
With that he left. Angel stood there a moment after Connor’s departure. Though his son acted pleasant he still got that underlying feeling of blame and hostility from him. The vampire stood and went back to his chair to continue trying to piece together what had happened.
Charles Gunn had left the Academy after teaching his class about urban warfare. Those girls had to learn to survive in the big city. And survive if shit ever hit the fan. They might get stuck underground with no food or no water. It was something that he knew all too well. Most of the girls seemed to be taking well to the classes. There were troublemakers, always were, but he had his favorites. Just like everyone else that was teaching there. Gwen was busying teaching her class about breaking into corporation offices, which came in handy when they needed information on Wolfram and Hart. And Faith had her group doing slayer training. Without his two ladies, he was left to amuse himself. He figured he might stop by the office, see if Fred and Wesley were back yet. He poked his head into Wes' office, giving pause as he saw Angel at the computer. "Hey man. Playing Rebel Assault again?"
Angel glanced up at Gunn. Gunn alive. He had to take a moment because the man before him had died in his arms. Finally he blinked and looked at the computer then back at Gunn. "Uh, no," he said as he turned off the monitor. "I was just looking at a few files. Nothing big just refreshing myself." This from the guy with the photographic memory.
"Since when do you have to do any refreshing?" Gunn had no idea about the memory loss. He knew Angel had been missing for near a week. No one had bothered to call him to tell him that the vampire had returned to the offices.
"Since is seems a part of my life is missing or screwed up." he replied. He picked up a pencil and played with it. "Including the part where...you're still alive."
Gunn raised a brow as he looked at Angel. "Do I look like some kind of ghost to you?" He patted his chest, as if to emphasize the point that he was here and he was alive. Someone put the whammy to Angel. Again. Seemed to happen at least once every couple of months so he wasn’t surprised.
The vampire stood up and gave a bit of a shrug. "I'm sure it will all pass. Its weird, you know." he said, "I don't even remember having any kids but Connor and here he's running a school for slayers instead of trying to kill me. Well, he did get over that, though."
"We all want to forgot Barbie being pregnant. You are lucky you don't remember, man. She got mad if we breathed too loud." Gunn paused for a moment as he saw Angel stand. "You call Wes yet? He put your memories back in before."
"No. I've not talked to him. I thought if he'd come in today..." Angel replied. "It seems things take a fork in the road around the time Holtz and Wolfram & Hart were chasing us for Connor. In my memory, Holtz got him and disappeared into a Hell dimension.
Gunn nodded his head. "Yeah. That is what happened. Then he came back a few weeks later, all grown up. Tried to kill all of us. Cordy calmed him down. You remember that?"
Angel nodded. “And then some. The some I haven't told Cordelia about.”
"I don't want to be around when she finds out you are keeping things from her. I am just glad the girls don't mind if I keep some things on the downlow." Gunn pointed out to the lobby. "Coffee fresh or is that the stuff from last night?"
"Fresh," he said with a nod. "Some things don't change and it seems Cordelia's coffee is one." Angel turned and poured Gunn a mug and handed it to him. "So, tell me about this school of Connor's. Slayers, huh? If anyone can train them its him. Best of all worlds wrapped up in that kid."
He took the mug from Angel and leaned back. Cordelia made horrible coffee but you put enough sugar and creamer in it, it was tolerable. He wondered sometimes if she used more grounds than water. Either way, it kept them all awake. "Just one of a few popping up. One over in Cleveland. One in New York. One in London. Rome." He took a drink from the coffee. He hid the distaste on his face well. "More of an effort on everyone's part. All those new slayers out there that didn't know jack. Someone had to teach them."
Angel nodded once more. "Understandable. It wouldn't be good to have a bunch of rogue slayers running around." He paused then asked, "So, besides not being dead, how are things with you?"
He chuckled as Angel asked that. "You take a blow to the head too? Want me to get some cakes for our little tea party?" It just seemed so out of the ordinary for Angel to be asking him how things were with him. Kind of girly, actually.
Leaning back on the desk, he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm just thinking that if I hear the right thing or get enough of it all in my head something might trigger everything else into place. Make sense?" He frowned a bit as he looked at Gunn.
"Unless someone put a mystical whammy to you. Then no matter what anybody says, it won't come back." He leaned back against the front desk. He took another sip from that god awful coffee. "Things are fine. I just got back from teaching my class at the school. Me and the girls are suppose to take the slayers out to a nest near Altadena. Just hope whatever attacked the school last week doesn't try to follow."
"A nest?" he straightened. This was good. This was something he did know and could do. "How about some help?"
Gunn raised a brow. He set his coffee cup down on the front desk. "See, now I know you have the memory loss. Because tonight is you and Barbie's special night away. Drop the twins with Connor and do whatever it is you two do. Which, I don't want to know." He held his hands up to emphasize his point.
The vampire leaned back on the desk again. "You don't want to know and I...I have no clue. I mean I do but," he paused his heavy brow furrowed. "I'm only confusing myself more here...and coming off...geeky. right?"
"Man, you always come off as a big geek." He reached over and patted Angel on the shoulder. "And the women hate it when you don't have something planned. Maybe she will cut you some slack. Or you can't lose with dinner, movie, and heading to the beach."
Angel rasied both his brows and got that ‘what the hell’ look. "Movies are always good. Dinner...last time she picked there were mirrors all around and I'm not big on mirrors." Angel then looked at Gunn. "I don't come off like a big geek. I mean, I can kick ass. Geeks can't do that."
"Sure they can. They just do it on Halo." He grinned at Angel. He crossed his arms over his chest.
"I guess I better find something to wear then if this is like date night," he said. He straightened and started for the door. "Flowers," he stopped and moved for the phone. "Flowers are always good."
"You are acting like this is your first date. This date, judging by how tense you are now, is going to go just as well." He paused for a moment to look at Angel. "You remember anything about you two getting together?"
"My last memory of us together was just before she died. She'd been in a coma..or rather was still in a coma and somehow came to me," he explained. "She helped me see where I was going wrong with running Wolfram & Hart."
Gunn just looked at Angel for a long minute. His head was really jacked up. "Angel, Cordy's never been in any coma. And you sure as hell didn't run Wolfram and Hart. Obviously, she ain't dead. Hell, Wolfram and Hart is the whole reason you two ended up together in the first place. Messed with her car."
"We found her Jeep stalled on the freeway. She was on her way to meet me but she wasn't there," he retold it to Gunn. "Come to find out she had become a higher power and was taken. When we got her back at first she had no memory of who she was or us. Then she got it back and..." His voice trailed and he looked away from Gunn. "Its not something I like to recount. But I was CEO of the L.A. offices of Wolfram & Hart. You were head of my legal department. Fred headed the science division. Wes, mystical research...and Connor...I made a deal with the Senior partners to take all memories of us from him and give him what he never had, a real family and a home. Nobody but me remembered Connor."
He just blinked before he started to laugh. "Me in the legal department? You are tripping." He shook his head. He moved over and put an arm around Angel's shoulder. "Man, you have to believe me here. None of that happened. Cordy hasn't had that Jeep since the night we went to the drive in and the Wolfram and Hart goons jumped us. Came back here, she called. She went to start her car, heard this clicking. They were trying to go old school mafia on her. She got out before it blew. Called you up, you went over there. Didn't see you two until the next evening and it was all cuddles and romantic comedy up in here."
"That is what everyone is telling me, Gunn," he said. "But I'm telling you I could take you to that building where Wolfram & Hart is and show you around it and the White Room."
"It sounds like you were in Hell. You sure you weren't having some Hell flashback or something? Or get some demon blood in you that is messing with your head? Cause I know I am real. I know everybody else here is real. What proof do you have all these other memories are real?"
Angel shook his head. "I don't but what I do know is if I don't get ready for this date night it won't matter if my memories are correct or not.”
Gunn nodded his head. "I got to go get the van ready for tonight. Catch you later, bro." He took Angel's hand in his, hitting it with his other hand as he lurched forward. Usual between brothers sort of hand shake before he left Angel to plan for his big date night.
Chapter Seven
Lillian Rogers sat in the back of the class at the Slayer Academy. She was trying very hard to pay attention to what her teacher was saying but her mind was drifting. All the notes and the diagrams in the world couldn’t keep her focused when Connor spoke. This was far more than a student/teacher crush. She would watch his mouth move, the way his body moved, and it turned her from a quiet girl into some kind of sex maniac. She tried to sit in the back of the classroom so that she could hide her wandering gazes of him. She tilted her head forward to allow her curtain of blonde hair to hide her eyes. She was worried that any of the other girls saw her eyes or any of the teachers did, the jig would be up. She'd be shipped back off to Michigan to live with her grandmother again. That was not what she wanted at all. She was having too much fun in LA, even if she couldn't concentrate in class.
She was so enthralled by her daydreams of the young man that she hardly noticed when the bell rang to end that day's lessons. She knew later tonight she was suppose to go out with the group to take care of a vampire nest but she was debating playing sick. She needed some time alone. Three seconds into the bell, she finally noticed it. She gathered up her notebook, pen, and purse, getting out of her seat. She headed for the front of the classroom, trailing behind the other girls who had jumped seconds before the bell sounded.
Connor had noticed Lillian's distraction as he spoke to the class. He was going over the weapons effective on different demons, not just vampires. When the bell rang, he reminded the class to look over the chapter on Byzantine adz. Just as a certain student tried to go by the desk with her head ducked, Connor called to her. "Lillian," he spoke, "will you please wait?"
When the girl stopped, he moved around and sat on the corner of the desk. "You were very distracted today." he said. "Care to share what the problem is?" As he said this a very slight smile crept into the corner of his mouth. That same one you could often see on the lips of a famous vampire (who also happened to be his father).
The barest hint of pink crept into Lillian's cheek as she was caught. She hugged her notebook tighter to her chest. Her eyes went to the still open door momentarily before she looked back to Connor. She wanted to make sure none of the other girls were lurking outside, waiting to hear this conversation between teacher and student. "Sorry...I just have some things on my mind. Not school things."
“Yes, well, I guess that means you can't tell me the difference between a Nyanzian adz and a Carpathian one and which one is used to kill a Klentu demon.” He just watched her as he talked.
She raised a brow as she looked at Connor. He was seriously giving her an after school pop quiz? Then an idea popped into her head. A wickedly wonderful idea. She tried to hide the smile on her face. "I am not sure. Maybe I could use a little...after school tutoring?"
“I think I have a little time before the field trip tonight. I might even show you my adz that were passed to me by my father.” He looked serious but his eyes were anything but.
"Should I go shut the door then?" She gestured back towards the still open door. The last thing she wanted was to be disturbed during some special after school one on one time with Connor.
"Hmm...maybe." he looked at the door then back to her. "We should go to my office. I keep my best weapons there for special occasions." He stood from the desk. "Five minutes should give you enough time to put your books up and only bring something to take notes on."
She tried to hide the smile at the prospect of being alone with him in his office. "Yes, sir." She rushed from the classroom. Five minutes was more than enough time for her to drop her books off in her dorm room and get back to his office. Not to mention do a little makeup touch up, check her hair, and her breath.
Connor was in his office reading, yes, reading. He wasn't though, just looking at the book, waiting for Lillian to show up as he knew she would. She was so beautiful and everything he could want...but she was a student.
She knocked lightly on his office door before she opened it and slipped inside. She tried to suppress the giggles that were rising up in her. She leaned back against the closed door, looking at Connor. "I am here...for my lesson."
Getting up Connor, walked across the room to her. "Punctual, I admire that in a student."
She raised her chin up slightly when he came closer to her. She looked up at him. The anticipation was killing her. The way her heart was pounding out of her chest at his pseudo-compliment. "Thank you. I think punctuality is one of my best qualities."
He reached behind her and locked the door then flipped off the main lights. A corner pole lamp was all that lit the office. He then leaned down and kissed her hard and deep.
She brought her arms up to slide around his neck. Instead of pressing back against the door, she shifted her body forward to move against him. It was pure hell to have to spend all day avoiding and pretending, just waiting for this moment at the end of the day.
Connor wrapped his arms around her and picked her up, still kissing her. He could hear the quickening of her heart, smell her perfume...all of which caused his heart to race in turn. He didn't know how long he was going to be able to wait before he could declare he belonged to her but it was going to have to be soon.
Lillian was sick of keeping it a secret as well. She hated sneaking around. She didn't see the point. It was his school, really. His father funded it, the new Council approved it but it was still his. So what if he wanted to date a student? She broke the kiss, sucking in a breath. "Connor..." Her voice was soft as she was still recovering from that whirlwind of a kiss.
Carrying her over to the couch, he lowered her then leaned on her so she had to laid down. His hand came up to run his fingers in her hair. "Hmmm?"
She rested her hands against his chest to keep him from laying on top of her. "I want to be with you but we have to talk. This...this isn't working out for me." She realized how that sounded so she added quickly. "The sneaking and the lying, I mean. I am tired of your mom being the only one who knows about us. I want everyone to know."
He looked down at her. "I need that." Connor said. "I need to be able to hold you when I want without looking over my shoulder."
She was worried that he was going to tell her no. That other things were more important. She smiled brightly. "You mean that? You know what it means though...I will have to leave the school. I won't have any place to go."
"Move in with me." he said. "Live with me and train with me and my father." He looked at her, hoping her answer wasn't a no.
Her eyes searched his. She wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. "Are you sure? I...I would love that more than anything but I only want it if you are completely sure. I know we haven't been together long but...I love you."
"I've never been so sure about anything." he said. "All I do at night is think about you. My dreams are filled with you." Connor's blue eyes watched her to see if she was going to say yes.
Her face lit up once more. "As the head of the Slayer Academy, consider this my official resignation, sir." She pulled her body up so she could meet her lips with his in a kiss. While she loved the Academy, she loved Connor more. And Fred never had any real formal training. And neither did Connor's mom. Or Gwen. They all fought alongside the guys. Why couldn't she?
Connor grinned and then the kiss, he melted into it. He broke it long enough to whisper to her. "I want you."
Those long held giggles escaped now. "I can tell." But it was short lived as she shifted under him. She was hesitating.
He lowered and kissed her neck then shoulder to her collar bone, a hand slipping under her shirt. The feel of her skin excited him so.
She reached down to stop his hand from touching more than just her stomach. "Connor. We don't have to do this anymore. No more office couch. We can go to your place, be in a proper bed." It would be a nice change of pace from his office couch or desk or floor. Or the back of his car. Or seedy motel rooms where they checked in with a fake name.
"Then," Connor said standing, his hand reaching down to her, "let's go home."
She slipped her hand into his so she could get up from the couch. She leaned over to kiss his cheek. This meant a lot to her and the fact that he realized it, meant even more. "Just let me go pack an overnight bag. I can get the rest of my things tomorrow. Think you can bear to be alone for fifteen minutes?"
Smiling at her, he spoke. "It'll be hard, but I'll manage." Pulling her to him again, he kissed her wanting to taste her lips.
The kiss lingered for several seconds before once more, she broke it off between them. She grinned at him as she slowly moved away from him. She unlocked the door, opening it. She looked at him for a moment before blowing a kiss at him and leaving his office.
Connor watched her leave and when the door shut he turned to his phone and called the hotel, or more specifically mom. He waited for it to be answered.
Cordelia was getting ready for her big date night with Angel when she heard the cellphone ringing. She had it practically glued to herself now, waiting for Wes to call her back. But it was Connor's ringtone. She answered it. "Don't tell me you are calling to cancel babysitting tonight?" There was a smile to her voice though. There was always someone eager to watch the twins when Connor couldn't.
"And I love you too, mom." he chuckled. "Actually, no. But I do have something to tell you because, well, you've had enough to deal with, with Dad and his swiss cheese brain the last couple days. I don't want you surprised."
"Oh god...you grew a tail didn't you? I knew this was coming. I told you that if you kept drinking those weird energy drinks, it was going to mess with your body." Obviously, a joke on her part. She always knew Connor had suffered enough so she tried to keep things as light as possible when she could.
"God, and you call Dad a dork all the time." Connor replied. He picked up a pen and doodled on his desk blotter. His father's art talent, he didn't get that gene. “Somebody is moving into the hotel with me.”
She paused in mid-curl of her lashes. She pulled back away from the mirror. She sounded a little more serious now. "Did you get another dog?" She had no idea what else could be moving into the hotel with Connor.
"No," he replied, "Lillian. She's quitting the Academy and coming to live with me." He was waiting to hear the lecture. He knew Cordy like Lilly but her quitting the Academy, that's a whole other kettle of fish.
"Just what we need. A blonde slayer around your dad." She chuckled though. She sat down on the edge of the tub. "I thought you said you didn't want me surprised?"
"Just what we need. A blonde slayer around your dad." She chuckled though. She sat down on the edge of the tub. "I thought you said you didn't want me surprised? I am not surprised at all. Its about time really."
Connor raised a brow. "You're okay with this?" he asked. "I mean her leaving school and all? I'd ask what Dad would think, but right now that's a moot point."
"Why wouldn't I be okay with you? Now you two can stop sneaking around. I won't have to find you necking in the back of your car." She paused for a moment. She felt as if she needed to reassure Connor. "I didn't go to any Academy. Neither did your dad. Or Gunn. Or Fred. Or Gwen. Or even you for that matter. And we all still kick ass. You'll just have to work double time to train her outside of the school. So she won't be a Council Approved Slayer. Did you really want her shipped off to where ever the newest Hellmouth is?"
He chuckled and put down the pencil. "No. I wanted her to stay. If she left, I'd probably follow after."
"This works out for everyone then. Lillian stays here. Teaches at the school with you. We get another member for the team. Your dad and I don't lose our son and the twins don't lose their big brother. I really don't see a downside here."
"Good, so we all win." he said. "We'll be home within the hour then to watch the rugrats. Where are the keys to the cage?" Connor grinned as he said this.
She laughed when he said that. She knew that he was just joking around. Kat was entertained being left alone and Ian was entertained with Connor war stories. Heck, Ian would probably want to be locked in the cage if Connor suggested it. "I love you too, you nut. I will see you two kids when you get home."
"How can you not love me?" he said. "Later." Connor waited for her goodbye before he hung up the cellphone.
“Bye.” Cordelia shook her head as she hung up the cellphone. She set it down on the bathroom counter so that she could finish doing her makeup. She was hoping that this particular outfit would jog Angel's memory. She was amazed she even fit into the short black skirt and low cut cami she wore on one of their first dates. Demon killing was definitely the best workout in the world.
Chapter Eight
Angel walked out of his changing closet in guess what? a black on black outfit. He was looking down as he buttoned his shirt. “I can't find my good shoes...” his voice trailed.
"Did you check the top shelf of the closet?" She called from the bathroom. He didn't need the mirror. He could gel his hair in the dark. She, on the other hand, always wanted to look her best for these weekly dates. Hell, she wanted to always look her best. Just because you were saving the world, that was no excuse to look bad.
Angel turned around and went back into the closet. He looked up. "Why are they up there?" he said as he reached for them. He stepped back out to the bed to sit and pull the shoes on.
"Because...that is where you put them. So Ian wouldn't fill them with Play-doh again." She stepped out of the bathroom. At least they matched with the black on black. Though she was showing more beautiful skin than black clothing. She laughed softly. "We look like we are going to a sexy funeral."
He looked up and saw her. He had to stop in what he was doing, his mouth falling agape.
She moved over to him. She slipped a finger under his chin and pushed up to close his mouth. "Letting the flies in. But good to know I can still leave you speechless."
"I wasn't speechless." the vampire said. He was doing his best to keep his eyes on her..eyes, yes her most attractive feature.
She looked down at him. "See, not the best thing to say in this situation, Angel. Compliment, usually good. Like 'yes, Cordelia, my love. You took my words away but only because you can't take my breath away. Because, as you know, I don't breath.' " She had her hand against her chest as she did her little speech. She lowered it but kept the smile on her lips.
Angel: "Its just that...Yeah, you are beautiful," Angel said as he stood. His eyes couldn't help but take advantage of his new position of standing to look down...at her..."Nice shoes too."
"Its just that...what?" She raised a brow. Even the shoe compliment couldn't detract from what he just said. Despite everything, she still had a slight underlying insecurity. And even though she loved Angel, something seemed off. She just chalked it up to his ordeal, his false memories and her concern for him. She was so worried that he was dead, part of her could feel it, that when he returned, she was too busy being happy to worry about any doubts.
Angel cleared his throat and spoke, "Movie, I thought we'd go see a movie. Gone With the Wind is playing."
She stepped away from him. "No. I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on. Keeping things from each other is what always got us in trouble before. Whether I did or you did. So out with it."
“Cordy, I don't know if its true or what. If the memories are real of planted..."
"If you can't look at me and tell me what is true, then maybe you need to go someplace until you can figure it all out. Look me in the eyes, right now. Tell me that you don't know if you love me or not. Tell me that you didn't enjoy laying in that bed with me last night with your arms around me or that you don't want to make love to me right now. I dare you to tell me that none of that is true."
"Cordy," he said as he moved to her, "that all feels so right. It feels like a dream come true for me. This life is what I've wanted, well save for still being a vampire. But you are the right woman for me."
"Then what is the problem? What more do I have to do here to convince you? I love you and this is where you belong. This is real, not whatever else is in your head. Can't you just trust in me about that and accept it?" Despite her better judgment, she moved closer to him. She loved him so much so this was killing her. "Angel...if this was all some dream or illusion, you are smart enough to know. You have all those spidey senses. If this was suppose to be some perfect world, you would have Shanshued. And things would be perfect. But they aren't. You are a vampire and you might not be cursed but you still can't feel the sun or enjoy food. We still have to fight everyday whether its demons or vampires or humans at Wolfram and Hart. And Connor loves you but he still hasn't totally come to grips with things. This isn't a perfect world, its not a wonderful dream. I love our life, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but its not perfect by any stretch."
Angel looked at her then took her hand in his. It was so warm and soft. It amazed him how she could get past what he was, basically a dead body with a demon in it. No pulse, breath, body temp or heart beat. "Cordelia, I'd known since before Pylea I loved you but I tried to keep it hidden. To risk it and give into it was to dangerous." He paused a moment trying to find the right words and hoped he could. "You've told me I am free of the curse of losing my soul. My mind, I'm not disbelieving you...but its still scary as hell to me to think what could happen."
"You've told me all of this before. Since your mind got messed up. I keep hearing the same things over and over from you and its driving me completely nuts, Angel. I can put up with a hell of a lot. I have put up with a hell of a lot for you. If you want to be scared, then you can be scared. I'm not. Since I've been with you, I haven't been scared since." She pulled her hand free of his. She was hurting too much. Until Wes got back and fixed this, she wasn't sure she could be around him with so much doubt clouding his mind. "Let's just call this night a wash. I'll sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight."
He pulled her back to him. "Its not a wash." he told her. "I'm not saying its not possible because right now, its very possible, seeing you in that outfit is just....and I want to take you out so all the other men in this city can be jealous of what I've got. Even though I'm not a man, but they don't know that."
"Damnit. I knew you were wishy washy but come on. Make up your mind on what you want. Either you want to be Angel, my husband or Angel, the nutjob. Which one is it going to be tonight?"
"I guess," he frowns a bit, "I'm sort of both. But the husband is winning out and make no mistake what I'd do if I even thought you were in danger. Its just a weird feeling, you know? But when I look at you its that good kind of weird."
"Yeah, its that happy in your pants kind of weird, right?" She gave him a bit of a sidelong smile. She poked him very lightly in his stomach. "I am starving. Where is Gone With The Wind playing? The drive in? We could swing by someplace, pick up food. Sound good?"
"How'd you guess?" he said and flinched with her poke. "You want chinese?"
"Do you even have to ask? And quit flinching. It ruins your whole dark avenger image." She started to pull away from him once more. "Let me get my coat and purse. Then we can go."
"Your purse is.." he said and he has it. Grinning at her, he held it up.
She grabbed it away from him. "It looks much better with me carrying it. Its not your season." She took her jacket off the back of the chair, pulling it on as she walked for the door. "We have something discuss on the car ride. And no, you aren't in trouble."
The vampire was about to ask just that when she said discuss something but after she added the other, he relaxed. "Well, your chariot awaits. I even polished the ol' girl up earlier."
"Like it really takes any arm twisting for you to go out and molest the GTX. Sometimes wonder if that car is the only thing that could really ever give you perfect happiness." She stepped out of their bedroom and headed through the rest of the house until she got to one of the main doors leading back to the hotel. It really did feel like their own separate home since they renovated the whole floor. It was only a matter of minutes and one elevator ride before they were in the parking garage, heading for the Angelmobile.
When at the car, he opened the door and waited for her to slide in on the driver's side, possible due to the bench seats that modern cars lack. "She's a classic."
"Its a girl? How did I know? And I know the whole reason you want me to slide over is in the hopes my skirt rides up and you can see even more skin. I know your game." She doesn't protest though as she gets in the driver's side. And she only slides in to the middle. What is the point of putting all that space between them?
Getting in, he shuts the door then puts the keys in the ignition. "Well, yeah, she's a girl." he said, sitting there a moment. "She's long and sleek," he paused as he starts the GTX, "and purrs when you stroke her just right." He looked at Cordy with a bit of a grin.
"You are SUCH a perv. Don't tell me girls actually used to fall for lines like that back in Ireland." Once he was settled and had started the car, she made herself more comfortable. She had found the perfect spot against his body to have the most contact without interrupting his driving. She didn't really want to end up in an accident for distracting him.
Angel pulled on out and shrugged. "Actually, I didn't start driving automobiles until I was over here in the States. I mean after the soul thing I never returned back there."
"I meant the cheesy lines. If they fell for cheesy lines like that." She rolled her eyes. "You are such a man. I wonder if you even listen or understand half the things I say." Her tone was light though. This was their date night. Their time to go out and have a good time. And it had been a while.
"What most of them enjoyed was," he put on the brogue, "watchin' os lads fight fer their fair affections."
Her nose wrinkles up. "I don't like it when you do that. It...it wigs me out." Probably for the simple fact that she doesn't associate that voice or that accent with her Angel. Its someone from a very long time ago. A someone who isn't the man driving right now or the man that she married. It reminds her of someone else too...The Scourge of Europe. Not something she wants to recall. Ever.
"Sorry." he said to her. "I did shed the accent when I came over here. Well, to me it wasn't an accent. But I didn't want to stand out."
"I know. And I know you don't remember how much I don't like it. Sort of killed the mood we had going here, baby." Then again, any thoughts of Angelus could make any woman's blood turn cold. Not exactly the romantic send you flowers type. More like the rape you, then kill you, then rape you again type. It didn't go a long way to setting the mood.
Angel pulled the car into a chinese place and pulled up at the drive through. He turned to the speakerbox to put in her order. . He knew what Cordy liked.
"Amazing. You remember what I like to eat but you don't remember our wedding day...or our wedding night." She grinned as she reached for her purse to get her money out. It was easier for her to get her purse then him to dig for his wallet. It was both their money anyway.
"Yeah, well, you've been eating it since before the little downtown office blew up." he said to her as she looked for her money.
She handed him over a twenty from her purse. "My tastes might have changed. I was craving anchovy and pineapple with green peppers pizza when I was pregnant with the twins."
"Okay, the anchovy thing is new." he said with a nod as he took the money to pay. Handed the change back, he gave it to her. "I guess that's better then sprouting a tail and horns." He chuckles.
"I don't crave it now, Angel." She rolled her eyes at him but playfully. She took the change from him to put back into her purse. She took the food from him as the window clerk passed it out. She put it in the footspace of the passenger's side since she was sitting next to him. "Speaking of horns and a tail...back to the topic I wanted to talk about."
The vampire pulled the convertible on out and into traffic heading for the old drive in. "Okay, what topic is that?" he asked as he glanced to her a second.
"Its about Connor." She just couldn't wait. That chinese smelled so good. And she was a sucker for some good crab puffs. She reached into the bag to get them out. "Do you remember Lillian at all? From the school?"
He shook his head. "No, sorry." Angel said. "I don't even remember anything about the school. Though, I found plenty of records where I had a large hand in getting it started."
"Well, the short of it is, your son has a thing for blonde slayers. I wonder where he got that from?" She gave Angel a pointed look. That was all his genes coming through there. "She came to the Academy a few months ago and it was love at first sight. Connor and Lillian have been keeping it a secret since he is well, the dean of the school and she is a student. She quit today and she is moving into the hotel with him." She had a feeling the questions about Lillian were going to come. The girl has to be good enough for his son, she knew that.
"Moving in?" he said. "Is she old enough to be with him and leaving school..." He shakes his head. "Where is she from?"
"They are the same age. This isn't just an Academy for young slayers. A lot of older potentials got activated too with Willow's spell. She went to college in Michigan. Got her degree in English. She was getting her teaching certificate when she was activated. Lived with her grandmother and had no idea why she could suddenly crush walnuts with her bare hands until Giles showed up. Willow did some spell to locate all the activated Slayers so they could be contacted." She paused for a moment. She wanted to get just one crab puff eaten before the barrage of questions started.
Pulling into the drive-in, he pulled out his wallet and eased the car on up. Everything paid, he drove on in to find a parking spot.
She managed to eat at least three crab puffs. They still had a few minutes before the movie was going to start. "Any other burning questions about Lillian? Her last name is Rogers, if you want to run a background check when we get back to the hotel. Her parents died when she was a baby in a car crash, just to warn you. So she has come to think of you as like her substitute father."
"No. I don't think that will be necessary." he replied. "If Connor likes her then she has to be good people, right?" He looked at her hoping she'll agree.
"She is really nice. And she makes Connor so happy. Not like that ditz he dated in college. Jennifer. What a total bitch. I think she must have just caught him at a bad time. He was all vulnerable because we finally got through all the walls and wanting to kill you thing. Completely took advantage of him. I was secretly glad she flipped out when she found out about his family."
"I really don't see the problem if he makes her happy." Angel said. ‘Because that means he's not looking at you’, goes through his mind.
"They seem really in love. I am really happy for him. He needs this." The odd relationship that might have existed in his world was completely null in this one. She was no more than a mother to Connor. She didn't take any of his crap when he came back and she helped him work through all his anger. "Well, you will probably get to meet her tomorrow while everyone is at the Academy. I thought you could help train her like you did with me? Well, not like you did with me because I could always tell when you were enjoying the training sessions a bit TOO much."
"I remember how you hated the red and white fishing bobber I strung up for you to combat, even put a smiley face on it." He laughed and shook his head. "You kept saying you wanted a light saber if you were going to fight some floating orb thing."
"I totally stand by that statement. I felt like Luke Skywalker or something. Only I wasn't making out with members of my own family." She reached into her bag now to get her food proper. She was starving. And she was going to need the fuel to watch Gone With The Wind and still have her special alone time later with Angel. He does have that vampire stamina. She leaned more against him, waiting for him to move his arm on the back of the seat so she could really be comfortable.
He moved his arm just like that as she moved over closer. His hand rested on her shoulder and then he leaned over and nuzzled her hair.
She snickered as he nuzzled her hair. It was causing small strands to brush and tickle against her naked shoulders. "Enjoying yourself there?"
"Your hair has always smelled so nice." he said to her. "I never get tired of it."
She shifted against the seat of the GTX. She had to admit the fact that he was getting so close to her was getting her excited. Watch the movie, Cordy. She had to keep that in mind. Or else they would end up having a public display in the back of the convertible. It wouldn't be the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last. "Angel...its been over a week. Self-control is not at a high point for me right now. And I want to eat my food and at least watch through when Scarlet gets back to Tara after the fire."
If everything she has been saying was true then those long nights of...Angel shook his head just a bit as he sat back to face forward and look at the large screen of the drive-in. "Popcorn? Something to drink," he asked. "Before the movie starts?" He had to do something or else this old car was going to see more action then Sherman's march to the ocean. He reached for the door handle to open it and get out. "Anything else from the stand?"
"Just can't get away from me fast enough huh?" She laughed and held up her food and drink from the Chinese place. "I think I am pretty well set. Now, if you want a pack of Junior Mints...I might steal some later." She reached over, absentmindedly brushing her fingers against his thigh. She was losing her Angel pillow here so that last touch was just a gentle reminder. Considering his memory loss, he probably needed it.
"Junior mints," he repeated. "Okay. Good idea.” Angel turned and headed for the concession stand. What was wrong with him. He loved her and he was acting like a damn school kid with his first crush. He stood in line playing with the $20 in his hand as he waited his turn. Finally he was at the counter and he looked at the choice in the glass case.
While Angel was gone, she reached over to adjust the radio to the right station for the movie. She missed the little boxes that used to be just outside the car but guess in the long run, this was better. Or maybe not. She had no idea about running a drive in theater. She finished her dinner, putting the trash back in the take away bag and then putting it into the backseat. With nothing to amuse herself now, she looked around. What was taking Angel so damn long? The movie was going to start here and he was going to miss it.
Angel came up beside the car, his arms loaded with all the movie goodness snacks. One of each from the case. He made it just in time for a couple of boxes to fall from his arms. Hot tamales and DOTS. "I hope these last the movie." he said.
"Did you buy the entire snack bar? Leave some for the other people." She reached out to help him as the boxes started to fall from his arms. She put them on the passenger's seat next to herself and then held her hands out for more to move.
When his burden was relieved he got back in. Slipping his arm back on the back of the seat again, he pulled out a tootsie pop bouquet from his shirt and handed it to her. "Happy whatever anniversary it may be." the vampire said to her.
She laughed as she took it from him. She snuggled back up against him once more. "You are too sweet sometimes." She grinned from ear to ear though as she twirled the bouquet in her fingers.
"You bring out that embarrassing side of me." Angel leaned over to her. "Let's not let the secret out. Don't think it would strike fear properly."
"Nice to know I bring out your inner dork. You can scare off demons by declaring you are a level eight wizard." She was merely teasing him. They always had that back and forth banter and even if his mind was swiss cheese, he didn't seem to have forgotten that. She leaned up, whispering in his ear. "I know all about the Lord of the Rings dvds you tried to hide in your closet."
"I wasn't hiding them!" he protested. "They were just...just not enough room on the shelf for them."
"And for asked for the Star Wars trilogy for Christmas? And the Indiana Jones box set? You are just a big old manchild. I am surprised you guys haven't had a lightsaber fight in the lobby yet."
"Yeah, well, the getting to play with real swords sort of takes the fun from that." he said with a shrug. The movie starts and opens with a cartoon. Roadrunner. He shifted a bit more in his seat and smiled at seeing the cartoon. He laughed at the coyote's failed attempts to get his rocket skates to stop.
She always did love it when he laughed. She settled herself against him. And he was claiming not to be a huge dork and here he is, laughing his face off at cartoons. Dork. But that is why she loved him. Maybe she just had a secret thing for dorky guys. Or it could just be that this was a side of him that few outside of their family had ever gotten to see. A special secret that was reserved just for them about Angel.
"I love these. My favorite, though is Marvin the Martian." he said and did his best to imitate Marvin. "Ooooh, I am sooo furious. I must blow up the Earth because it is obstructing my view of Venus."
"And you thought I was a bad actress?" She turned her face up to look at him with a raised brow. "Don't quit your night job. Voice over work, not in your future." She turned her chin back down so she could look at the screen. "And I know. I am Vision Girl."
"What? We going to get you some tights and a cape now." he asked. "Big V on your bre...chest?"
"You would like that too much. Me running around in skin tight lycra superhero costume with a giant letter to draw attention right to my breasts. I barely made it out of the house when I dressed up as Wonder Woman last year!" She reached up and poked him lightly in the chest. "Yeah Mister...I still remember what you said to me. 'Keep the costume on, Cordy' in that low growly I-need-you voice you do so well."
The vampire's smile faded and he looked down at the box of Milkduds in his hand. He had just put one in his mouth, though not being able to taste it, he just liked the texture. "I wish I could remember it."
"You will. And if you don't, then we will just have to relive all our best moments. I don't mind tying you up with my golden lasso again." She let her hand drift down to touch his knee. "We can make new memories too. Like right now. Aren't you having a good time?"
Looking over to her, Angel put on that little half smile. "The best." he said to her. Leaning to her, he gently kissed her.
She kissed him back but she moved her lips from his right as the movie started. "Now shhh, eat your candy, movie is starting." She whispered to him, however unnecessary it was. Just one of those drive in or movie theater things. When the movie starts, you get quiet. Its the rule. Despite the length of the movie, it passed quickly as she was snuggled up against Angel. She always got a bit misty eyed when Bonnie dies. She wasn't a big fan of Melanie though. So perfect and flawless and everyone loves her. Then again, her Angel was quiet aware of her opinions about all the characters.
When Rhett finally told Scarlet, ‘Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn’...he leaned over to her. "Do you know what a scandal it was when this movie came out and he said that?”
She snickered softly. "You always say that to me when we watch this. I always get the story. But go ahead, I know you are dying to tell me again." Since he probably didn't remember any of the times that he had told her before.
"Yeah, well," Angel said, "back in the day cussing just wasn't done in the movies. This was the movie that was the ground breaker. I went to see it and when Clark said that this little old lady had her a real fit over it."
"This from the guy who's people made cursing an artform." She hadn't moved her hand from his knee but now that the movie was winding down, she slowly started to inch it higher up his leg from his knee.
"That's not all we've made an artform," he said as he looked at her, feeling her hand move. His eyes looked down then back up at her face.
"You want to go back to the hotel or maybe up to the Point? Don't want to go too far out of the city and get stuck in the middle of nowhere at sunrise."
Leaning over, he started the GTX. "I think our own bed is where I want to be.” He said, looking over at her as the engine comes to life.
"The hotel will be seeing a lot of action tonight." She laughed. Between her and Angel and Connor and Lillian. Good thing the twins' rooms were on the other side of the house. And they knew if the door was locked, mom and dad were doing their special training session.
Continue on...