Title: Without You
Author: Helen
Posted: 12-16-2003
Email: helen_taft@msn.com
Rating: NC-17
Category:
Content: C/A
Summary:
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: This is for Scorchy and thanks for such a lovely challenge Hun. Here’s the details for ya: Demons have totally taken over Sunnydale, there's no Slayer or Watcher and there's only Cordy and Willow of the main SG around. The humans that are left alive are hiding out in caves, tunnels and whatnot.
Angel still has his soul but he's very Beigy as in dominent, overbearing, growly and snarly. He's with Spike at the mansion in Sunnydale and though he has a soul, he's not really all that bothered about the state of things!
One night when it's Cordy's turn to go get food for her and Willow, she runs into Angel and Spike who force her to take them to hers and Willow's little hideout. The vampires take both girls as slaves and things happen!!!
In my version I planned to have Angelus not Angel but to be honest, this would be more fun if it was Beige Angel!
Scenes to include if you choose to take this...
1) On a particularly rioty night, Cordy gets scared (bless her) and climbs into bed with Angel (sweet!).
2) Angel getting her to do proper slave things like wash his clothes, run his bath etc etc!
Whatever you do with Spike and Willow is entirely up to you, pair em up if ya like!
Feedback: Yeah feed me!
Thanks/Dedication:Part 8
A WEEK OR SO LATER
“Willow, stop mooning around before you do something dumb, like hurt yourself. Here, gimme that”. Cordelia shared a look with an amused Angel and swiped the paring knife off the preoccupied redhead.
Willow blushed and then darted a look at a knowing Angel who smiled at her out of warm chocolate brown eyes. A silent message passed between the pair and Angel shrugged and shook his head. It was up to Willow how she explained her recent behaviour to her friend. Though why she was still keeping it a secret from Cordelia he had no idea.
Cordelia saw the by-play between them out of the corner of her eye and jealously twisted inside her. Abruptly deciding she was sick and tired off this she narrowed warning hazel eyes on Willow.
“Hey” she said in a jokey tone to get her attention. “Go share secrets with your own vamp” and she didn’t need to finish that off with a ‘this one’s mine’ for the message to get through and Willows eyes widened.
So did Angel’s when he caught the territorial stamp in the voice of the women he secretly labelled his siren. His mouth opened and then closed with a snap and he returned her smile with a quizzical one of this own. Then something hit him.
“Pire” He dropped the kitchen towel he’d finished drying with and crossed his arms.
“Come again” Now it was Cordelia’s turn to be confused as she picked up a an unidentified green lump of a vegetable for peeling.
“Vamp-ire” Spelled out Angel, and pointed at his chest. “That’s what I am a vampire not a a… vamp” his mouth twisted in a moue of distaste.
“There’s a difference”? Asked Willow joining with the confusion, making Cordelia splutter with laughter, and wave the knife around with enough careless abandon that it was Angel’s turn to take it off her. It was getting to be a habit around here, he thought wryly.
“Angel, it’s just a word; don’t be so anal”. Cordelia taunted, crossing her arms and trying not to let the wide smile get any wider. He was so easy, she thought with more than a hint of affection. Sheesh, I can’t believe I was ever afraid of him.
“Hey… It may just be a word. But it’s not the right word”. Angel hastily defended himself and looked to an oblivious Spike for back-up.
“Is that- oh my god, is that a real honest to goodness pout?” Cordelia looked to Willow for confirmation and the vampire in question suddenly found himself being scrutinised by two grinning girls.
“I don’t pout” he growled and pulled his lips taut and lowered his brows into a fierce glower.
“Uh huh! Beg to differ, Angel. That’s definitely a vampy pout” Cordelia giggled and put a hand over her mouth at the look of consternation on his handsome face. They only got worse when he started to slowly but surely stalk her around the kitchen.
Her breath hitched in her throat when he cornered her between the sink and the stove. “Angel stop, okay. I give in”. More giggles escaped and her laughing eyes met his dangerously intent ones. Underneath her restraining hand his chest felt like smoothly carved marble.
“Say it” Angel playfully growled as his arms came up to cage her. “C’mon Sweetheart. Open those pretty lips and say it with me” he raised a mocking brow and a grin tilted the corners of his full lips. “Va-m-p-ir-e”.
Cordelia rose on her tiptoes to meet him and deliberately licked her lips slowly before opening her lips and complying with his request. “Vampire. Got it” Hot lights shimmered in his brown depths and her heart kicked in her chest.
They stayed that way locked together, almost, but not quite touching. “So got any vampy secrets to tell me, big boy”? She rashly asked. His smug brown eyes widened incredulously at her daring.
Cordelia dived under his arm and got away before he had time to react and this time he didn’t risk chasing her since his libido was still rebelling against his willpower from this one. Angel hastily checked out his fly for telltale bulges before turning round.
“I agree with you, Pet. He’s definitely anal. Me, you can call me Vampy anytime” Spike winked at her and tossed a sly grin at Angel.
Angel didn’t react at all except to agree with a smug smile. “I’m 200plus. So yeah, I got secrets. Who the hell wouldn’t”? He caught Willows intrigued look as she sliced the rabbit meat and knew he’d see a similar one on a certain nosy brunette.
“Ooh, lets have a game of truth or dare; that’d be fun. Not to mention make a change from you guys and your obsession with Trivia. Like that’s interesting- not ”. Well it was either that or pump Spike if she wanted to find out Angel’s secrets.
Angel smirked, knowing exactly what was going through that beautiful head of hers. He’d tell her a few secrets. Maybe...one day; sometime in the future perhaps when she was too exhausted from making love to run out on him or laugh her ass off. Whoah, down boy! .
“That was Willows fault for calling us culturally deficient, cos we didn’t know Jewish people could eat bacon” piped up Spike from the table, boots up reading the paper. “We had to defend ourselves now, didn’t we”.
“That wasn’t Willow. I called you culturally deficient, Dumbass. Get you’re facts straight”.
“What secrets do you have, Cordy” interrupted Willow thinking the bantering could move onto arguing and wanting to keep the peace.
“Welll….. there’s the one about the college boy” said Cordelia thoughtfully, tapping a carrot against her full lips in contemplation.
“Don’t wanna know” snapped Angel from inside the oven as he checked the egg rolls. Then hissed in pain and sucked his thumb from the burn he’d got when instant jealousy made him clumsy.
“Okay. How about the jock”? Cordelia grinned when his head hit the over door he jerked it out so fast. “Not that one either” Angel scowled at her and rubbed his head. There was enough bad temper simmering in his dark eyes to make her feel a smidgeon of guilt for teasing him.
“Would it help if I told you I was a virgin”? She offered nonchalantly while turning back to the cutting board and her pile of peeled veggies. His displays of possessiveness where getting more frequent and she couldn’t help crowing a bit about that little gem. It made up for the lack in other areas, she thought defensively, when her conscience nagged.
Spike slammed down the paper and crowed. “Now this is getting interesting”. He folded his arms and waited for more with a gleam of anticipation in his startlingly innocent blue eyes.
“Shut up, Spike” Angel turned flabbergasted eyes on Cordelia. “I kinda guessed that”. He told her rashly, trying to shut it down. His sex drive didn’t need any more encouragement and he could do without adding fantasies of ‘virgins and vampires’ thank you very much.
“Oh really” asked Cordelia archly and stepped closer to a discomfited Angel with her head tilted questioningly. “Does this mean you’ve been speculating on my sexual status”? She waggled the half-peeled carrot in front of his face.
“Maybe” admitted the vampire after a minute spent mentally squirming and finding no way out. “So what? You gonna stab me with a carrot”? If you don’t have a defence then the best course of action was attack, he reasoned and met her look for look.
“I’ll tell you where to stick the carrot” muttered Spike evilly, earning himself a reproving slap over the head from Willow. “Oy, that hurt” he started and then stopped to cock his head, listening to something only he’d noticed.
Angel and Cordelia were too wrapped in their little debate to wonder where he was going when he left the room and Willow was caught up in the comedy of it too much to notice either.
Cordelia felt a tide of heated blood rise on her face and saw the exact moment his dark eyes dipped to the vein in her neck, and even his long lashes couldn’t hide the hungry glitter in them. Immediately the sensitive skin tingled as if he’d caressed it and her nipples budded with helpless arousal. Unnerved, Cordelia dropped her eyes when his came back up to catch hers and latched onto Spike’s last comment.
“Eww, that’s so gross. I was gonna eat this, but now” she almost tossed it away but a wicked little imp awoke inside her, egged on by the fog of arousal still clouding her mind.
“Mind you, I could have a few ideas about this carrot”. Feeling reckless again now she had some distance from Angel, she held it up to make sure everyone got a good look. “Prefer the idea of non vegetable though”. She wriggled her eyebrows smuttily and then gurgled with helpless laughter when Angel choked.
“We got company” announced Spike coming back into the kitchen with a face that spelled trouble with a capital T.
Instantly distracted they all turned towards the forbiddingly stone-faced blonde. The girls surprised and confused; and Angel uncomprehending as he struggled to free his lust-clogged mind of a multitude of overlapping images all featuring a cocky brunette and sex toys.
Spike jerked his back towards the main living room. “Put them in there but knowing ‘er, likely won’t stay there” his eyes bored into Angel’s warningly, making the dark haired vampire stiffen as understanding finally dawned.
“Who”? Cordelia asked sharply as alarm started to insidiously creep up. Looking wide eyed between the two silently communicating vampires.
This couldn’t be good, do vampires make social calls? If so how far does vamp hospitality go. Then she felt ashamed of herself. Of course Angel and Spike wouldn’t let anything happen to them. She forced herself to relax and smiled reassuringly at an equally nervous Willow.
“Darla” replied Spike, still not breaking eye contact with a frozen Angel. The new tension in the kitchen hiked up several degrees, just at the sound of *that* name. Angel closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face, all the while groaning silently.
“Otherwise known as granny- the bitch from hell”. Only someone who knew him well could make out the undertone of disgust mixed in with the cool sarcasm.
Angel cursed luridly under his breath. He’d been prepared for this at first. But when months went by without interference he’d allowed himself to relax. He wanted to kick himself for being so goddamn stupid. Darla was a clever manipulative bitch. She would have known when *not* to strike.
“Why thank you, Spike. It’s so nice to finally feel welcomed here” came a cold and equally sarcastic voice from the open doorway behind him.
Cordelia felt in instant hatred for the beautiful blonde standing just behind and to the left of Spike. Darla surveyed the room with cool satisfaction at the effect she was having. Then her attention settled on Cordelia and her ice blue eyes narrowed into thoughtful slits. “well, well isn’t this just…hmmm, homey”??!!
Cordelia was too busy hating her guts to notice the dangerous glitter in the ice blue eyes that raked her from head to toe. Angel did notice, just as he noticed everything that touched or effected Cordelia. “Why are you here”? He asked Darla and couldn’t keep the deep distrust from colouring his rasping question.
Angel kept himself utterly still so as not to betray by look or gesture his fierce concentration on the brunette standing to one side, warily watching the three vampires square off under a thin veneer of civility. His lips twitched into a sardonic smile while he wondered what she’d think of them after this. Vampires were not by nature a friendly bunch and frequently meetings ended unpleasantly.
“So much for the welcome, Angelus” she mockingly pointedly as she sauntered sinuously around the room, trailing her fingers over anything I her path, including Angel when she reached him. “Hello, Lover. Pleased to see me”?
Angel sensed Cordelia stiffen and the knowledge that he had to play it cool or risk raising Darla’s suspicions came back to haunt him. He’d do anything to stop her hurting Cordelia, or Willow for that matter. But first he had to try and stop it becoming an issue at all.
Angel forced his shoulders to relax and cocked a hip against the counter beside him then lowering his chin met his sire’s glittering gaze with his own carefully blanked eyes. “You know me. Never good with surprises” he said slowly and let a hard smile curve one side of his full lips. “Isn’t that right, Darla”? He pitched his voice low, letting the throb of memories do the work for him.
Angel wanted to but didn’t flinch when Darla’s response was to sidle closer. Intrigued, she pushed him to see what he’d do. Using her body as tool Darla brushed hers up and into his; while her hand slid slowly up a sinewy forearm, stopping at his elbow where he’d pulled up the sleeves of his shirt.
“Oh, I don’t know” crooned the vampiress with a sensually charged smile curving her lips. “I seem to remember a surprise or two that went down a storm”.
It didn’t take a genius to guess that this bitch knew Angel- intimately. Jealousy twisted and burned inside Cordelia as she saw the undead slut manhandle what she considered hers. Deciding, charitably she thought, to give her vampire the benefit of the doubt. Cordelia concentrated her ire on the hussy trying to crawl all over him.
“So- do you always go knocking on peoples homes, then drape yourself over the nearest male like some kinda desperate and… skanky whore. Let me guess you were a prostitute before you died- right”? Every sarcastically dripping word dropped like ten-ton bricks into the stunned silence.
“What did you say to me”? Rising fury throbbed in the usually dulcet tones of the blonde vampiress. Darla stepped back from a pale and tense Angel to whip around and face the fool hardy human who had dared insult her.
Smug satisfaction flamed inside Cordelia, burning through any hint of self-preservation. She had no idea who this bitch was and she didn’t give a flying fuck either. She crossed her arms and coldly met the furious, vengeful slits of blue ice. “Oh, I think you heard me” she shot back sweetly with a tight disdainful smile.
Sheer unadulterated panic washed over Angel, and his already stiff body tightened as adrenaline pumped through every muscle as the instinct to protect his own kicked into high gear. Beside him Darla shot him a look of spiteful warning. Nausea heaved inside him at the clear message. If he didn’t punish Cordelia for her outburst, then Darla would. Still he hesitated, god he just couldn’t do it. But then he felt Darla coil and gather herself, getting ready to pounce and rip.
Oh shit- Cordy even as the anguished incoherent cry crossed his mind he was moving as fast as his vampire reflexes would let him. He had to get to Cordy before Darla did.
Cordelia fully expected a backlash; after what she’d said how could she think otherwise. But she’d felt secure in the knowledge that Angel would protect her. He always did, even when he was spitting mad at her. In fact he was so overprotective that she sometimes wanted to scream and if she was brutally honest, frequently did. Just then, she revelled in the knowledge.
Cordelia didn’t see it coming, saw nothing at all in fact. Once second she was looking at a coldy furious slut of a vampire and the next she found herself dangling from a ruthless hand wrapped around her throat. The fact that his large hand didn’t squeeze, was known only by him and her. Cordelia was simply too stunned to appreciate it though.
Angel threw her away from him and across the room before Darla could deduce the same, and then stalked after the sprawled girl to stand menacingly over her. “Apologise now! Or I’ll watch while she flays the skin off your back” snarled Angel with malicious intent in his cold, cold obsidian eyes. Thwarted, Darla stepped back to watch the drama with all of the intensity of her predatory nature.
Stunned immobile with shock Cordelia jerked her head off the floor and twisted it round to stare up at him, dumbstruck. “How could yo…”. The hoarse, disbelieving whisper didn’t get finished.
“Shut up” Angel roared over her with fury evident in every line of his powerful frame as he towered over her. He looked terrifying with his lips drawn back in a vicious snarl and rigid jaw thrust aggressively forward. Cordelia didn’t even know she was shaking her head in denial as if to ward of the image.
His eyes turned amber as he continued to glare down at the hurt and confused girl he was desperately trying to protect. If he didn’t make this convincing they were doomed but.. he hated doing it. He didn’t need to fake the fury. It rose up without any prompting and most of it directed at himself and the blonde bitch he was playing up to.
Cordelia had no idea how much it had cost him to hurt her even just a little, rather than let Darla hurt her a great deal more. All she knew was that in just a few seconds her world had been rocked to its foundations and it was with a sick feeling of unreality that she watched Darla come up behind Angel.
The blonde came up behind him, and feeling her there the dark haired vampire surprised all of them when reached behind his back to tuck her closer with an arm curved back around her hip. It was a supportive lover like stance that cut the stunned girl on the floor to the quick.
Can this really be happening? Her thoughts whirled dizzily and her head ached with dull throbs. She blinked hard but everything stayed the same. Then her shocked gaze landed on Willow’s horrified face and to her utter mortification her vision blurred as hot tears gathered. Oh god, it is real.
“Don’t let an apology stop you, dear boy. You know I adore a good whipping as much as the next girl” purred Darla with a thread of anticipation in her girlish voice.
“Now, that I *do* remember” murmured Angel with a smirk, then cocked his head consideringly. “But I’m so angry right now I’ll probably kill her” he shrugged his heavy shoulders. “Then what good is she to me”? He raised questioning brows and turning hooked his other arm around Darla’s waist to pull her closer, distracting her.
“Forget her. I thought you came by to see me”? He pouted playfully and then pushed her roughly away, knowing she’d like it. “Not some dirty humans”. Angel didn’t dare look at Cordelia. If he did he knew he’d lose it and just end Darla’s miserable existence and then…they’d all die.
Pushing herself to sit up, Cordelia struggled to swallow the bile she hadn’t even noticed had risen up. Disbelief still robbed her of the ability to speak and numbly she just listened to them croon at each other over the dull roaring in her ears.
Dizziness nearly overwhelmed her and her vision blackened with tiny coloured lights. Oh crap, I’m going to faint, hysteria threatened to bubble up out of her. Don’t faint, don’t faint. Please! Then she realised she wasn’t breathing and concentrated on letting the air trickle down her tight and scratchy throat.
Darla’s eyes narrowed. This was unexpected to say the least. She suspected she was being played but she wasn’t certain of it. The trouble was that while once she’d known almost every thought that crossed his unconscionable mind, now she found her childe a mystery. A mystery she needed to unravel.
“Can’t I do both” Darla queried with a soft smile and pulled his unresisting body back to press against hers. Whatever game he was playing she’d play along for now, and enjoy the benefits while she could.
It showed nowhere on his face but the queasy feeling of sickness in Angel’s belly had gone from a vague discomfort to a definite threat. Spike’s eyes were literally bugging out of his head and he refused to look at the pair as they walked out arm in arm. He still couldn’t believe what’d just gone down and he knew why Angel had done it.
Shit there was going to be some fireworks after this. He didn’t doubt it for a second. What the fuck is this? A sodding merry go round, first Angel and Cordelia, then me and Willow, then back too…. He shook his head and gave it up. Shit happens! He eyed Cordelia warily as she moved to brace herself against the counter and then vomited in the sink.
The next few hours crawled by agonisingly slowly for everyone but Darla. Willow tried to go and comfort a pale and obviously distraught Cordelia, but Spike wouldn’t let her. As for Cordelia, she didn’t notice or care. She didn’t want comfort and would’ve rejected it instantly anyway.
Spike had managed to catch her alone and hissed a taut warning to just ‘do as she was told for god’s sake’. So she did. Darla, always one to inflict pain insisted that it was Cordelia that waited on them. So Cordelia fetched and carried like a good little slave while rage replaced the shock and slowly built from flickering embers to an inferno that only monumental control kept hidden. She waited…
The taunts continuously thrown her way didn’t pass over her head but soaked into her pores, and every time Angel let one pass without comment, the cold ball around her heart got harder and harder until she felt like an automaton. She welcomed it and just carried on waiting….
“So why the change of heart, Angel. The last time we spoke you were a good deal less…oh, how shall I put it”? Darla cocked her head to the side and gazed at him out of direct blue eyes that didn’t miss a trick.
“I was unforgivably rude” inserted Angel with an apologetic smile. “I know; but you caught me at a bad time, and you *know* how jealous I get about the Master”. Angel caught her hand and pulled it to his lips, to tease the skin with tiny brushing kisses, while his dark eyes gleamed with a false appreciation for the beautiful façade she presented.
He tensed when Cordelia left the room and had to forcefully keep his eyes locked on target. He couldn’t let his need to keep watch on Cordelia ruin what he was trying to accomplish which was dazzle Darla into leaving them alone- at least long enough for him to come up with a better plan.
Outwardly he looked relaxed and content. It was a lie, inside him restless anxiety whipped at him. For the first time in a long time he worried Cordelia would try and escape. God, he hoped not. He didn’t want to have to chase her down again. Guilt, pain and possessiveness were an explosive mix and he felt all of them in spades.
“Hmm, why don’t I believe you”? Darla teased with a hint of steel. “What game are you playing now, Angelus”? She playfully slapped his hand and then leaned in to kiss him.
“You weren’t exactly welcoming yourself when I came to see you, remember”? Angel admonished gently and rather than kiss her poisonous lips, he lifted up her hand and bit her thumb with gleaming white teeth. “And I thought you liked games”? Both vampires went silent but didn’t pull apart as Cordelia entered the room with a tray of drinks.
For a second Angel shot a scrutinising look at her pale and set face, then looked back at Darla before the vampiress could sense it.
Cordelia dumped the tray on the low table, making the coffee splosh over the sides to pool on the tray. Then spun on her heel and left without looking at them once. “She’s obviously trouble, dear boy” Hinted Darla archly and watched his face carefully for any hint of emotion.
“Always, but isn’t that just my luck” agreed Angel easily and sat up to snag up a drink to hand it to the waiting blonde. Angel forced himself to take a sip of the hot bitter brew and dragged his mind off the stiff proudly erect figure who was right at this moment ripping his heart to shreds. An image of her horrified and hurt face flashed in front of his eyes, and he flinched away from it. He’d deal with it later.
“Why not let me have her, and you can pick out a new one. If you must..” Queried Darla, playfully flicking his ear and making him grin and snatch her hand in mid-air when she went to do it again.
“I’ll think about it, but Spike’s kinda attached to the other one. Besides, she’s useful to have around. Works hard; and better than a punching bag for getting rid of tension”. Darla laughed low in her throat and raised her drink in mock salute. With murder in his heart Angel laughed with her.
On and on it went. A verbal chess match with both of them lying through their teeth and pretending they didn’t know it. Establishing position and redrawing the battle lines. Angel had the advantage over Darla in that at least he knew every cold, malevolently bitchy inch of her.
The instant the door shut behind her, the three left standing in the hall fell uncomfortably silent. “Where’s Cordelia” Whispered Angel tonelessly, and resisted the urge to defensively cross his arms and look away from the blistering accusation in Willow’s green eyes.
It took a few tries but finally Willow found her voice, as tightly lashing as it was. “You leave her alone. You bastard!” snarled Willow in a low disgusted voice, and then unable to bear his presence for a second longer she whirled and raced up the stairs. She’d have gone to Cordelia if she could. But knew that the proud and stubborn girl she loved like a sister needed time and space to lick her wounds, not sympathy.
Spike and Angel both watched her disappear and then looked at one another again. Clasping his hands behind his back Spike rocked on his heels and jerked his towards the bedroom Angel and Cordelia shared. “Last time I saw her anyway” and for once the smirk was missing.
“Right- thanks”. Angel gave the door in question a look filled with hesitancy and trepidation. When he looked back Spike was gone.
REVENGE
Angel stopped outside the closed bedroom door and debated knocking. He even lifted a hand to rap on the wood but at the last second changed his mind and dragging in a deep un-needed breath, just opened it. The second he stepped over the threshold he was met with the whistling hurl of an axe and was forced to duck and let it fly over his head. It clattered to the floor outside.
Hearing another ominous hissing sound he looked up again just in time to catch a badly aimed knife by the handle in mid-air. “Cordelia, will you...”. He dropped the knife and dived to the side when a double-sided battle hammer came hurtling towards where he was standing.
Furious to have missed so many times Cordelia bent back down to the weapons chest and rummaged around for something else that was capable of inflict bodily harm on him. The rat-faced bastard!
Panic and rage made her jittery and she cut her finger on one of the swords tucked away along the front but other than her harshly heaving breath she made no sound; until a hard arm passed around her waist and lifted her bodily away from the trunk.
Then she let loose. Hoarse enraged screams tore out of her throat like battle cries as she whipped and tossed herself backwards and then forwards. Her hands clawed at every part of him she could reach and her legs kicked back with a savagery borne of pain and humiliation.
“Get off me, you bastard”! Her voice became shrill and then lowered again into throbbing growls. “Don’t you touch me. Get your fucking dead hands off me”.
Angel swore and gritted his teeth, wishing he hadn’t had to do this before he’d at least tried to explain. But even now he couldn’t just let her hurt herself, which she would if she carried on. He should have known she wouldn’t have just been waiting, quietly hurt, to have things explained to her. No- not Cordelia all she wanted was his head in a bucket or dust- either or would do. It was just one of the Cordeliaisms he admired her for.
He lifted his chin out of the way of her thrashing head and lowered her enough so that she banged against his shoulder, and did his level best to avoid her madly swinging legs. Jesus, this girl could do some damage when she wanted to!
Angel knew he had two choices. He either let her wind down or he forced the issue and pinned her down. He didn’t particularly like the idea of either so he tried to reason with her. “Cordelia, please will you…”He moved his head aside from her frenzied attempts to head butt him. “Listen to me …please.
“No” She yelled unequivocally “I don’t want to hear anything from you. Lemme go” her voice was hoarse from yelling now as well as emotion and had only half the previous volume and a dry sob fell from her lips.
That betraying sob hit him harder than anything else could have done, and abruptly he reached his limit. His knee hit the bed as he hauled them both on top of it, despite her still thrashing body. Then forcing her down on her back he threw his leg over hers and flattened himself, using his weight to contain her violent struggles.
Cordelia went beserk and fought like a wild thing. Her eyes were narrowed hazel slits spitting fire and her lips were drawn back in a snarl not so different from the one he’d worn earlier. Desperate hands curved into claws raked his face and neck until he snagged them both and forced them out to the side and pressed down onto the bedspread.
It soon became obvious that wouldn’t work as her head came up again. Cordelia was using every part of her body to fight him and had no intention of stopping. Dammit, this is madness. Desperate, Angel forced her hands together to free one of his own, and then pressed that down over her mouth, silencing her and keeping her head from rearing up.
She heaved a few more times “Stop it” he growled, fed-up. She did but only because she was shaking with exhaustion and with it came a measure of sanity that forced her to see the futility of fighting him. She was trapped- for now. But her eyes still promised retribution and there wasn’t an ounce of reason in those furious hazel orbs.
Their eyes met and clashed. His troubled but determined; hers filled with maddened hate. Angel sighed heavily and dropped his head to rest it for a second next to hers. Then lifting back up he looked down at her. “If I move my hand are you going to start yelling again”? he asked tiredly. She didn’t try and answer just glared. Angel frowned, “Nod or shake your head”. She did neither.
“Fine. Have it your way”. He kept his hand were it was except to make sure he wasn’t pressing hard enough to bruise her skin. Then rested on an elbow and straddled her properly so he could lift up a little and not crush her much smaller body with his heavy one.
“I’m sorry about today”. He could feel her bare her teeth at his apology. “Will you just listen to me”. He glared down into her hot eyes. “You don’t.. you can’t even guess what Darla is capable off, and she has power here. I had to ..”Angel shook his head and willed her to understand what he was telling her. “I had to put her off the scent”.
There wasn’t a flicker of understanding in Cordelia’s eyes. So he kept trying to reach her. “For what you said, Darla would have ripped you limb from limb. I just couldn’t let that happen”. A film of moisture covered her eyes and he knew he’d touched on one of the sore spots. That he’d hurt her.
“I’m sorry I hurt you” he whispered, she tried to turn away but he wouldn’t let her. “I had no choice. There was no way Darla would accept anything less than …” He struggled to another stop. Violence, physical abuse any and all these things. “If I hadn’t, Darla would have”. She’d been quiet and still long enough for him to risk lifting his hand.
“Do you think I wouldn’t have preferred that”? She spat at him with her strained voice throbbing with pain.
“Maybe you would” he agreed low, then his voice hardened. “But I’ll never let her put her hands on you”. Cordelia stared up into his hard face, and shored up her anger to cover the still weeping wounds the day had brought her. “Then let me go” she demanded, her face filled with resolve.
“No” he didn’t, wouldn’t even consider it and his head shook and eyes lit from within. “I won’t let you go- never. Forget it”. He tried to tamp it down but the pain and anger he’d been burying all day wouldn’t be suppressed. He dragged in a breath and his arms trembled with the force of the emotions roaring through him. “Don’t you ever bring that up again”. He demanded painfully and seeing her open her mouth to speak again, swooped down to take her mouth with his.
Cordelia tried to turn away but hard fingers cupped her chin and kept her in place with her jaw open while he plundered her vulnerable mouth. Pain mounted in Angel as he forced her to accept his kisses. God- he’d fantasised so many times about kissing her, but never like this. He wanted so much from her but had never dreamed of using force. Now he had no choice, he needed to reach her and didn’t know what else to do.
“Please don’t fight me, Cordy” his words filled her mouth between the heavy slide of his tongue as he tried to make her soften. His lips brushed over hers as they trembled beneath him before tasting her deeply again. “I’m sorry I hurt you”.
Tears brimmed and fell from her eyes, trailing down her face to their fused lips and helplessly, Cordelia felt the hard cold ball of ice surrounding her heart melt and crack under the heat of his desperate devouring kisses and the throbbing emotion in his strained voice. He took her breath inside him and plunged inside again, massaging her tongue with his and sliding over her white teeth before dipping deeper to stroke the roof of her mouth.
He freed her chin and angled his head as he felt her tongue draw along his. It was her first willing response; hope soared and his fingers speared into her tear soaked hair to caress the soft skin around her ear. “I hate you” she said against his lips, but the echo of pain was muted now.
“I know. I deserve it”. Angel agreed softly and carried on kissing her. Gentle now though. Taking his time and using every ounce of skill two centuries had given him. Light brushing kisses, soft exploring ones, gentle matings of tongues where little more than heat and taste mingled. Anxiety quivered in his belly as the need for forgiveness consumed him.
“You hurt me” she accused, kissing him back and then turning away as more hot tears spilled as the bitterness of betrayal mutely stabbed at her heart. Pain and remembrance burned in both of them. Cordelia gasped as Angel nuzzled into where her jaw joined her neck and kissed the telltale bruise from when he’d held her off the ground with a grip around her throat. “I’m sorry” he repeated and suckled gently on the skin as if to make amends. “I’ll never do it again. I promise”.
“You better not” she hiccuped then gazed up into his contrite face. Then it hit her. God she was in love with him. Why else had it crippled her so much to have him betray her that way. How could she not forgive him when she needed to so much. Needing to hide she turned back to him and tugged her hands from his. Then curled inwards with her face buried in his neck. Angel closed his eyes with relief and turned on his side to tuck her into the curve of his body, tenderly stroking a hand up her back and crooning soothing nothings while she got herself back together.
A little later on Cordelia lifted her head and stared at him with no embarrassment on her tear stained face. “So is this were you make love to me now”? She asked him bluntly and shook her hair out of her eyes were the strands had stuck to her damp skin.
“No” Angel shook his head and smiled a little when she went back to glaring at him.
“Why the hell not”? His smile widened and he could feel the toes ofone foot brushing against his leg impatiently. “Doesn’t take you much time to recover does it”?
He sighed then and used one hand to tenderly smooth back her hair, doing a better job than the head toss had done. “You’re not ready” he admitted, and gazed deeply into her eyes.
“You’ve had a rough day and your feeling needy right now. Not exactly a good idea to jump into ..lovemaking”. He left it at that even though it wasn’t the whole truth. The whole truth included the fact that he wasn’t ready either. No matter how much he wanted her and he did; so much he ached with it. He was still afraid.
He was afraid of himself and what would happen if he made her his. He was ruthless and obssessive to a point where sanity fled and instinct drove everything. It was true of the demon but even more so the man he’d once been. Darla hadn’t lied when she’d told him that was why she’d picked him as her mate. He’d seen and heard of it in his father, and remembered it in his human self. He didn’t know if he was ready to lose control like that or if she was even prepared for it.
“So are we done with kissing then”? Cordelia interrupted his musings impatiently and he felt her shift against him. “Why”? He asked her and tried not to groan when her wriggling rubbed her against his fully engorged sex.
“Because I want some more, Dumbass. Since that’s all I’m gonna get anyway”. Angel grinned and rubbed her red nose with his; noting the high flush on her face and the heat coming off her body. Hazily he wondered about that, then simply put it down to the fight she’d put up. “If you insist” he agreed huskily and willingly sank back into her.
THE NEXT NIGHT
Angel slept through the whole day with a semi-naked Cordelia in his bed. He woke up feeling warm through to the bone and his spurt of surprise quickly turned to alarm when he felt the heat emanating from her still figure beside him.
“Cordelia” he turned her over and winced at the sizzling feel of her bare arm. Then he could do nothing but stare in horror at the fever ravaged face of the girl he loved. Her face was red with white circles under her bruised eyes. Sweat poured off her, soaking her hair, and when he tried to shake her awake, she didn’t even moan.
Now on her back with his terror struck body leaning over her, Cordelia opened her mouth and coughed up mucas, and yet she still didn’t wake up. Angel remembered the dead boy and his frantic roar for Willow echoed throughout the house.
After a while they were able to rouse Cordelia enough to get her to open her eyes which scared Angel even, more since they were as glassy as cloudy crystal with no where near the usual sparkle and intelligence. With Willow on one side and Angel on the other they tried to get some sense out of her and some water into her and failed on both counts.
“This your fault” stormed Willow to an already distraught Angel. “Grabbing her like that and ..and tossing her around like a rag doll” she was half way towards hysteria but guilt had him half believing her anyway.
“It can’t be” he shook his head but the look of pained guilt on his face had Spike heaving a huge disgusted sigh.
“We don’t know what the hell it is. So how about not tossing around accusations, Pet”. He advised Willow with a warning look aimed in her indignant direction. “ooh, I might guess you’d stick up for him”.
“Put a sock in it will you” he snapped and watched Angel pace back and forth like a caged animal. Fucks sake, riddled with guilt again. Why do I bother?
“This is getting us nowhere” Angel almost howled still pacing and dragging his hands through his tousled and spikier than ever dark hair. “I don’t know what to do? Someone tell me what to do” he looked pleadingly at a stone faced Willow.
“Okay that’s it, that’s so unlike you it’s bloody well freakin’ me out. You’re obviously losing it. So I’m taking charge” Spike inserted aggressively and the fact that Angel didn’t even argue pissed him off even more.
“You” Spike pointed a Willow. “I know it won’t do me a bit of good to say stay away from ‘er. But for god’s sake keep to the corner, and just watch or something. All we need is another sick girl and as for you” He whipped around to grab Angel’s coat and tossed it to him. “Come on, we’re going out”.
Angel snapped too and levelled a thunderous scowl on the blonde. “I’m not going anywhere” he growled long and low with his body tense and obviously dying to release his frustration on something, preferably Spike.
“Oh yes you are, Pal. You said you wanted to do something. So were doing it. We’re going for a Doctor”. Spike grabbed the car keys off the table and tossed them to Angel who caught them purely out of reflex. “You know a Doctor. A human Doctor”?
“Not personally no. But I know a vamp who does” Spike smirked when Angel’s dark eyes focussed properly on him and a hard smile tipped up the corners of his lips.
“You mean at the farm don’t you”?
“Smart, Grandpa. Very smart. Next thing I know you’ll be back to your old self again. I bloody wish”.
THE FARM
“Hey Benny, me old mate. How are ya. Been to the Old Sod recently”? Spike grabbed the vamps collar when he tried to dive past him. Not that he’d have got very far since Angel appeared next out of nowhere. Benny gulped at finding himself surrounded by two very intent, black leather coated male vampires.
“That wasn’t very polite. Do you feel slighted, Spike”? The hard cold voice of the taller one made Benny wish he’d stayed in bed tonight and let Larius have the day shift, instead of giving in to persuasion and the offer of a juicy titbit for dinner.
“Nay, Benny didn’t mean anything by it did you, Benny” Spike ruffled his hair and ‘accidentally’ banged his head against a nearby desk- hard!
“What do you want”? Benny asked them in a slightly quavering voice, but pulling himself away with a sniff is if that would stiffen his suddenly limp as noodles backbone.
“We need a doctor Benny, and you are going to get us one”. Spike leaned a hip on the desk he’d already abused Benny with and gave him a wolfish smile.
“Not on your life and I don’t care what you do to me” Benny gulped again when the dark stranger took a threatening step forward. His yellows eyes darted back to Spike’s ice cold blue ones. “You know how it is? What can I do? The doc’s in the secure wing cos he’s so, ya know.. important and stuff”.
“Oh we know how important Doctors are Benny” agreed Angel ominously “that’s why we need one. Care to reassess your situation here. Before I rip your head off your shoulders and then.” He paused to smirk without any sign of relenting on his hard dark face. “Then just go and find him myself”.
Angel didn’t give him time for much thought but wrapped long fingers around his throat and crushed the flesh between his fingers. The similarity to the hold he’d had of Cordelia wasn’t lost on him. Only this time he used a crushing grip that would eventually pop Benny’s head right off his shoulders. After a long agonising time of course.
“I wouldn’t piss him off, Benny. Really I wouldn’t. Trust me on this one and just cough up the doc will ya” advised Spike silkily, watching his ‘pal’ writhe in that powerful hand.
“Okay, Okay” wheezed Benny through the constriction. Angel dropped him back to his feet and then crowded closer with Spike doing the exact same.
“Now don’t disappoint us, Benny”. Benny looked up at Spike and folded completed. “I can’t bring him to you or I’m as good as dead anyway. But I’ll give you the key and you can get him yourself. But you have to bring him back- deal”.
“Of course we’ll bring ‘im back. Would I risk a hair on your head? We’re mates aren’t we? Hurts me ‘eart to think otherwise”
Dr Parker was tired, mentally beaten down and almost filled with despair. None of it showed on his kindly wizened old face. To anyone looking at him he’d seem like a cheery leprechaun with his bright red hair and sideburns, wrinkled face and deep kindly, brown eyes that seemed to swallow every other feature.
He heard the door being unlocked and looked up from his bed. He frowned heavily and his shoulders sagged even more. He’d only just got inside his room and the bag next to his feet attested to that fact.
The door opened to reveal one vampire and ..two men. Doctor Parker shook his head, not possible, vampires then but why the human faces? One was blonde and the other dark haired and both of them powerful, virile young men. They made him feel old just looking at them, but his interest soon perked up.
“Are you the Doctor” asked the dark haired one with the intense midnight dark eyes. He simply nodded and waited for someone to tell him what was going on.
“Good, you’re coming with us”.
And that it seemed was that.
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