Title: There is No End
Author: writingpathways
Posted: 01-05-2004
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Category: AU
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Summary:
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Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
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Notes: Hi. This is my first Angel/Cordelia story ever and it's an AU. Some things will be very different but other things won't be. Also it's starts as an Angel/Buffy crossover. Everything on Buffy happens as is up to the end of Season Five and Buffy will stay dead. As for the Angel verse. Cordelia and Angel never met up in L.A. so her life is completely different and Angel's life is close to the same but he has no seer because when Doyle dies Cordy wasn't there. Only other huge change I feel I should mention is Faith is in Sunnydale, she went back with Buffy instead of going to jail after Angel helps her.
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Thanks/Dedication:Part 5
The living room wasn’t more than a few steps away, less than a minute of walking and she’d be in there facing Willow and Giles. Cordelia couldn’t move and she bit her cheek and focused on the slight sting of pain, willing her determination. Two people left, two people left and then she could leave – the house, not Sunnydale she thought with fear. Talking to Willow and Giles wouldn’t signify the end, it was only two more stops on this crazy, un-thought trip brought on by Buffy’s dying. Grief? Was she really grieving, Buffy? Was that why she was acting so weird. Why she felt like she had to be here and no where else right now. Cordelia wanted to leave but she knew she couldn’t, and a part of her didn’t even want to – and that was what was so confusing. She’d really thought Buffy, her watcher, and her scoobies hadn’t had an impact on her life. Yet here she was afraid, scared but certain of what she was doing, as insane as it made her feel. Cordelia started to walk and wondered if it was really possible to feel sure and uncertain simultaneously.
“Where is Xander?” Anya’s voice barked, the second Cordelia entered the living room.
“Outside.”
Anya smiled. “Remember…”
“No Xander for Cordelia. I know,” Cordelia reassured the strange woman and shook her head. “Geesh.”
“I need…I mean we…the tea is cold,” Willow babbled and she grabbed the tea pot and ran out of the room.
“I’ll go help her, “ Tara said, following her girlfriend and giving Cordelia a small shy smile for a hello.
Cordelia returned the smile and then left it there on her face. A mask that she felt she needed as she let her eyes find Giles’ face. “Hi.”
“Cordelia.”
Cordelia shift her weight from foot to foot, mentally shook herself and then moved to the couch and sat down. Her eyes fell on the coffee table and all the cookies spread out on a plate. “That’s a lot of cookies.”
“Willow and Dawn keep making more,” Giles said and cleared his throat. “Cordelia?”
Cordelia looked away from the table and at him, felt his gaze on her and felt all the questions he had them. And his grief, his confusion and that he really didn’t know what to say to her anymore than she had any clue what she wanted to say to him. “I had to come. Not really sure why. I tried not too but then there I was driving and then here I was here. I’m leaving right after I talk to Willow. I just… I had to come,” she babbled suddenly. “Buffy wasn’t really my friend, well she was but it was complicated by who we were. That was no secret. I guess I just needed to come and see everyone, say something. Not that there is anything to say but that I know you all miss her. More than me. It effects you all so much more than me and here I am intruding – again. Just like I always did in the library. The honorary Scooby who never really belonged.”
“You belonged Cordelia,” Giles said softly. “In your way you belonged. You helped, you kept things in perspective and they, I even, sometimes needed that. You kept her secrets.”
“No one would have believed me anyway,” Cordelia laughed. “Stupidity reigns supreme here in Sunnydale. Guess it’s really the only way to survive the Hellmouth though. Denial.”
“You kept it for far more better reasons than that,” Giles said and sighed. “Though, I am surprised to see you here.”
“Me too.”
Giles nodded. “Grief manifests itself in surprising ways sometimes.”
“Is that why I’m here?” Cordelia asked bluntly.
Giles straightened his posture and Cordelia realized she’d shocked him. He thought she was sad and grieving Buffy, as much as the rest of them. Was she? She didn’t even know. She knew she felt sad, she knew she felt that it was unfair that someone her age had been taken from life so soon. But she also knew that Buffy had been the Slayer. Wasn’t it right that she had died saving the world and better yet her sister? Why grieve something that had happened for what mattered?
“Yes.”
Cordelia gasped. Giles voice had been so sure and she blinked, realizing that tears were falling down her face. She hadn’t cried since listening to Willow’s message why was she crying now. He was right, Giles was right, damn it. She was grieving Buffy. Her stomach flipped on her due to the realization but confusion still screamed throughout her mind.
And then Giles hugged her. It was awkward, short and it made her feel better, stronger, more sure and okay in the fact that she could miss Buffy, that she could mourn for her. He pulled back as quickly as he had hugged her and handed her a handkerchief which she wiped at her tears with and sniffled.
“I just totally ruined my make up.”
“I won’t tell a soul.”
Cordelia smiled and handed him back the handkerchief. “Thank you. For the truth.”
Giles smiled back at her. “Of course. Thank you for stopping by, Cordelia.”
“I’m going to tell Willow, I really don’t want any tea.” She stood up and steeled her spine. “Goodbye.”
Giles nodded. “I do hope to see you again.”
Cordelia nodded and smiled as she walked toward the kitchen. It would be nice to see Giles again but a part of her couldn’t help but think that she didn’t really want too. The circumstances would probably be just as bleak as the current situation and bleak was something she really didn’t want in her life. Bleak had been one of the things she’d left Sunnydale to get away from.
“Cordelia!” Willow exclaimed jumping out of her girlfriend’s arms.
“I don’t want any tea,” Cordelia said. “I mean, thanks for making it and all but…”
“I’ll leave you two alone.”
“You don’t have too!” Both Cordelia and Willow said to Tara.
Tara continued her retreat and gave a wise smile. “It’s Willow’s turn with you. I’m going to go check on Giles, then Dawn.”
Cordelia crossed her arms and uncomfortably glanced at Willow, who was looking just as uncomfortable. There was so much to cover and nothing really to say, at least that was what kept spinning through Cordelia’s mind. What could she say to Willow? Sorry about Buffy? Well duh, of course, it didn’t really cover anything and even though Cordelia realized she was in her own grieving process now. As weird and as foreign as it felt to her, she still didn’t know why she’d come here and suddenly she was facing the most important person in the house. Willow.
And who the hell had made Willow the most important? Cordelia asked herself and looked at her nails and realized with horror she needed to repaint her nails. “What is will all the chipping?” she muttered to herself.
“What?”
“The chipping. My nail polish.” She showed Willow her nails. “I didn’t pack any nail polish, or anything. God, I was so pathetic in my planning on this trip…”
“So, you did mean it. The not coming?” Willow blurted out.
“Oh. Yeah. I did. And I didn’t. Because well…”
“Well, obviously, there you are. I mean here you are and…”
“We are being sad. We are being lame, and frankly I’m tired of it,” Cordelia said and she took a deep breath. “Only, I really don’t know what to do. This isn’t the type of situation I really know how to deal with. Give me a guy to flirt with, or a fashion faux pas to fix and…”
“Well, how’s my outfit?” Willow suddenly said. “Maybe we can discuss the disaster that is me with clothes?”
Cordelia stepped back, as Willow moved closer to her and did a bit of a spin to show off the dress she was wearing. Cordelia raised an eyebrow and studied it closely, checked on Willow’s hair, make-up and felt a smile form on her face. “You know being a lesbian has totally helped your fashion sense. It’s a bit Renaissance Fair for me but it suits you, very wicca-y without being all black. I like the soft colors and your make-up – as in you wearing it – very nice. You’ve come such a long way from the Softer Side Sears jumpers you used to let your mom dress you in Wil? Is Tara doing the dressing now?”
“Wow. That was like 4 % compliment. Cordelia! You’ve grown as a person.”
Cordelia nodded. “And you have grown as a shopper. It’s all good.”
Willow nodded and her eyes grew big. “That was fun. I mean I laughed, I really laughed. Wow. It was… okay. It was actually okay to laugh.”
“Well, duh.” Cordelia said. “She died Willow, not your sense of humor.”
Willow bit her lip. “It’s just, there is no Buffy. It’s not right. It feels very not right. Something happens and I think I have to tell Buffy. I see shoes she’d like in a window, or I think I see a Vampire and I’m like… I have to tell Buffy. But there is no Buffy. Now I can only tell Dawn or Anya about the shoes… and I don’t like to talk to Anya about shoes. Anya is not a person to talk to about shoes. Not that she doesn’t have good taste in shoes. She has your taste in shoes. But she’s not Buffy. And then there is Faith. Faith is the only Slayer now. One and only Chosen One. But no Buffy…and see I laughed. And you complimented me and I want to tell Buffy. I want to tell Buffy that Cordelia Chase likes my make-up.”
“Anya has my taste in shoes? No wonder Xander’s with her.”
Willow laughed. “See! You made me do it again.”
“It’s okay, Willow.” Cordelia stepped closer to the other woman, praying that Willow wouldn’t start crying or some such thing. She didn’t want more tears, Dawn’s and her own were plenty.
“My head knows, my heart not so much. But I won’t blubber. Not in front of you. Can’t cry in front of Queen C. You’d do something treacherous.”
Cordelia smirked. “Take a picture of your running mascara and get some geek to post it on the internet for me.”
“See! Evil!” Willow said.
“Or, get it on the Sunnydale Evening News. How Not To Wear Mascara? Willow Rosenberg, Exhibit A-Z.”
Willow giggled. “Down right satanic.”
Cordelia nodded and then nearly toppled over when Willow had her arms wrapped around her in a tight hug. She responded similarly, shocked by the weight of the emotions that were hitting her.
“It feels all real now. Someone who wasn’t here but knows is here and not it’s all real.” Willow whispered.
Cordelia felt her throat close and her eyes start to sting and realized too late that she was going to cry again. “I know. Makes it all too real for me too. I think it’s why I came. I couldn’t believe it unless I…”
“I don’t want to believe it. I keep trying not to believe it. But it’s all true. No more Buffy. But still there are things…”
Cordelia tightened the hug and just nodded against Willow’s shoulder. Willow squeezed her back and then moved backward, letting her hands run down Cordelia’s arms and she grabbed Cordelia’s hands.
“There are things… that are still… like you are still funny.”
“Something has changed. You just totally copped a feel of my breasts.”
Willow blushed, “I well, they are… don’t tell Tara!” her eyes widened in alarm and she started to laugh. “See! I feel so much better and all guilty.”
“Don’t be guilty. Lord, what is it with all of you and the guilt. There is no guilt to be had here. Everyone is guilt-free. Well, except you and the copping of a feel. Even Xander didn’t cop a feel.”
Willow took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. “I think you are a bad influence on me, Cordelia.”
“Better than being a good influence. Who wants to be that?” Cordelia asked, and she sighed. “I need to go now Willow, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I just… you understand right? Plus, I still need to see Buffy.”
Willow’s face fell and then grew concerned. “I could go with…”
“God, no! No offense but I want to do it alone. She and I… it’s personal.”
“Right.”
“I still don’t know what to say to you. You lost so much more than me.”
Willow shook her head. “We all lost her. The world lost her.”
“World Schmorld, Willow. She was your best friend. Screw the Slayer thing and be selfish about it. You deserve that.”
Willow wrinkled her nose and then got a determined look on her face. “Well, okay…but Cordy? I refuse to say goodbye to you. Do you have an email?”
Cordelia stared at the red head and saw the look on her face. Willow’s determined face. Cordelia knew it, she’d seen it for the first time in kindergarten and even she had known to not argue with it. “Yeah, at work,” she muttered and took the pen and post-it Willow seemed to have grabbed out of thin air. Quickly she wrote down her email address and handed it to the girl. “There you go.”
“Okay, good,” Willow nodded. “We’ll keep in touch.”
Cordelia nodded, hugged Willow one more time quickly and waved goodbye – not wanting to be yelled at for saying it and hurried out of the house as quickly as she could without running. And found Faith leaning up against the hood of Angel’s car her arms crossed.
“Took your damn time, CC. Figured you’d be faster.”
“What the hell do you want?” Cordelia asked the other Slayer. Faith was not part of her journey of Buffy-Grief. Her last stop was going to be Buffy herself and no one else.
“Angel.”
“Well take it up with him,” Cordelia snapped and wondered if the woman was still a bit evil.
“Look, he helped me out a while back. Got, Buffy to even give me another shot and now here I am. I’m working hard to keep it together, keep things safe. Keep Dawn safe for Buffy… and I ain’t going to say this more than once. You are going to tell Angel to meet at the Barrington Tomb in the cemetery by his mansion. Got it.”
Cordelia shrugged. “I’ll give him the message but I’ll be honest, he didn’t look sociable. He looked like he might want to jump into the fire place – even before he had a fire in it.”
Faith shrugged. “Whatever, just tell him I want to see him.”
Cordelia got into the car and started it, staring at Faith who still stood crossed armed in front of it. “I’ll tell him, now move or I’ll run you over.”
Faith laughed and moved to the side and Cordelia gunned the engine and roared off the street. She didn’t even know where she was going, not back to the mansion, not yet. Not to Buffy’s grave, she wasn’t ready too and her head was spinning with Dawn, Xander, Giles and Willow’s faces and everything that had been shared in the last hour or so.
Part 6
He’d expected it to take him longer. The memories and emotions about Buffy were tumultuous and random. They covered the hundred years before her, the century before that and the random years of hell after her. There was the freshness and freedom he had felt about seeing her as she learned of her destiny and of her powers. The knowledge that she was where he had to head, to help, to aid her and against all rationale fallen in love with her.
And he loved her still, would love her always. Yet, he was at her grave, he was standing a few feet away staring at her name etched in stone. It meant he was ready to say goodbye and he felt surprised by the ease in which the decision had been reached. To stop his thoughts of her, to leave the mansion and make his way to the cemetery to the patch of earth that held her body. That held a body that would never hold her soul again. She wasn’t even here, just her name in stone, just the dates of a short life – shorter than his own human life – and the epitaph that showed she’d done more than most imagine.
She’d saved the world. A lot. Angel supposed she’d lived, she’d had family, friends that would die for her, she’d loved him and even loved another. And she’d given him more than he could explain. More than he could even fully understand, because until he’d met her. Angel had had no clue how to live. He’d just been a monster, stopped by a conscience and drowned by his own guilt. He’d made attempts at life, he’d made attempts to care about the lives he found he could no longer taunt, maim and then finally kill… but he’d never found the strength or emotion to care until Buffy.
She was the first. The first to make him care. The first to make him love. How was it he was here, at her grave, already, willing to say a goodbye and move on? It startled him but he couldn’t deny the truth of it.
He’d been standing there for an hour now, remembering her. The first time he’d seen her, watched her take in and accept her calling to fight the darkness of the world. So young, so free and suddenly with so much on slight shoulders. She’d awed him with the determination and heart she’d taken on the duty. Unable to turn her back, unable to not care about the people around her. Right and wrong seemed so easy to her. It amazed him and fascinated him. It was still a struggle for him, which was the right and wrong turn to make and he still slipped.
Her mistakes, her judgments and her assumptions were never moral slips. She’d never tasted true darkness, though she lived trapped inside it with the monsters. He had envied it, wanted her to remain untouched by the heavy pound of evil-done that clouded him daily and would’ve done anything to assure it. He’d walked away once thinking it would, denying it was his own fear that had driven to run.
He closed his eyes, he’d once thought if they could’ve been together that nothing would stop him from taking her and keeping her forever. Angel laughed and wondered if she knew now, about the one perfect day they’d had together. About his heartbeat and his love of chocolate and peanut butter? He wondered if her death had given her the gift of that memory back? Or was he still the only one who remembered those moments, that day and the decision to take it back?
A decision Angel found he didn’t regret, because he hadn’t earned it, because they would have to leave the bed sometime and her life was still tied to the darkness. Things wouldn’t have remained steady, perfect and he had yet to earn blood that pumped through his heart. He may never earn it, it may never come but it didn’t matter. He had no regrets, but he couldn’t help but wonder why?
There was no more chances for him and Buffy, hadn’t he always thought in the back of his mind that maybe someday the timing, the moment would be right. That maybe they’d get a one last chance? Angel dug his toe into the dirt and wondered about her soul. Where did it go?
His own soul had been pulled from somewhere and placed inside of him, a vampire. Buffy’s? where had it gone? He knew so much, but he didn’t know that answer – he just hoped it was bright. No, he knew. He knew she was someplace where the darkness he’d wished she hadn’t had to know was never going to touch her again.
The only thing he regretted was the time he’d been soulless, the guilt of his actions then would always burn him but he had no regrets about him and Buffy. The choices they made, the fights they had, the pain they inflicted and the happiness and love shared. He felt okay, it confused him, but it felt right to be at her grave with a goodbye on his lips and the knowledge he’d love and miss her until the day he was dust.
“Buffy,” his voice was harsher than he expected, he cleared his throat knowing it was fruitless but he wanted to sound clear. He laughed at himself, clear for what the dirt and grass? No, she’d hear him. “Buffy, I…”
“Aww, ain’t it sweet…tell you what, man, what if I make it so you can join this Bunny person?”
Angel tensed at the intruders voice and he sniffed the air. He wasn’t surprised to smell the tell-tale scent of another vampire, or that mold and dirt was still a part of his clothes. He turned and took in the younger demon, a very young demon from the stance he had and the overly-arrogant confidence spread across his vampire visage.
“It’s Buffy,” Angel said before launching himself at the other vampire.
~~
Angel brushed the dust off his leather jacket and shirt, grumbling at the grass stain marring the silk of his shirt and wondering again why he kept buying silk shirts – he just couldn’t seem to help himself. Rolling his shoulders, he started back towards Buffy’s grave intent on finishing what he’d started. He wouldn’t feel right until he did, the lump in his throat and the constriction in his chest wasn’t going to fade until he’d told he loved her, would always and said his goodbye. It was going to hurt, he might cry and he knew it but he knew it was right and it would be worth it. Somehow.
Moving around a tree, he stalled mid-step when he realized that there was a shadowed figured near Buffy’s grave. He frowned, hoping it wasn’t another damn vampire and stalked forward utilizing his skill of stealth. The smell of plums mixed with coming rain told him instantly it was Cordelia. Her scent had always reminded him of a coming rain storm and he had to admit it fit what he knew of her personality from the time he’d known her before moving to L.A. She’d come to the grave, he’d thought she would have done that sooner but perhaps she’d spent most of the day with Willow and Xander. Disappointment flooded him, as he realized he’d have to wait longer to speak one last time with Buffy.
He finally stopped walking, thinking for a moment of where to go to wait when Cordelia started to talk.
“Hey. I would have been here sooner, but I ended up in The Bronze. Remember when you almost staked me there, I don’t know I ended up outside the bathroom thinking about that. I thought you were such a freak. You nearly killed me. But then… you saved me from the poor girl, the sociopath who turned invisible and hated me. Then their was so many other things, but I guess I remember the almost staking and Homecoming the most…” Cordelia trailed off and squatted down on her heels, reaching out she touched the epitaph on the tombstone. “You didn’t save the world that night – but you kept us alive. Then we both lost Homecoming Queen to those two stupid nobodies. I would have way preferred losing to you. Not because you were The Slayer, not because you saved my life, or anything, but because you were worthy competition. I had to step up and fight, I had to keep on my toes. I never bitched at you, or gave you a hard time because of disliking you – well, I did sometimes. But mostly it was, you were my equal Buffy. Truth is if you hadn’t had be out saving the world and beheading demons, you would have given me a run for my money every day in the halls of Sunnydale High. That’s why I couldn’t stand you. Think it’s why I got on your nerves too – why you got so mad I forgot to tell you about the school pictures. Why I didn’t tell you about them? You said that night, while we were hiding that you wanted to win Homecoming because you wanted to be chosen for something besides Slayerdom…” Cordelia trailed off again and took a long deep breath. “Yeah, I didn’t get it then, don’t know if I get it now, Buffy. I never had time to react that night, there was the damn demon and then that bomb-thingy…and the running and that vampire I scared off, then the damn guys with the guns…then we lost. And I just wanted to take a bath to be honest…” Cordelia laughed. “And I’m totally getting off subject. You want to know what I was going to say, Buffy? What I was going to tell your damn chosen little ass? That you were a blind stupid bitch that’s what.”
Cordelia made Angel jump as she stood up swiftly to punctuate her sudden shift in tone and emotion. “I was thinking, who is this girl… Chosen for more than the freaky things in the night. Doesn’t she know my boyfriend talks about her consistently. Doesn’t she get that Willow and Giles would probably die for her, facing a whole bunch of danger they shouldn’t have to see? Doesn’t she get that she had Angel, this totally to die for boyfriend who sure he went evil and all but it was because of bliss – because of you. Damn Buffy, you had a mother who gave a damn for you. She fought for you. Me my parents never noticed if I came home or not. I never had to call and lie about staying over at your house or Willow’s for all night cram sessions. And while we were fighting for our lives, Willow and Xander were all worried and guilty about kissing and cheating on me and Oz. They only put us together, because of guilt, because their guilt about me got things screwed up with you. It was all about you. You inspired all this loyalty and love and it sure as hell wasn’t because you can stake vampires. Every single animosity between you and me had nothing to do with your freaky nature Buffy. It was all just life, real life and petty, stupid, childish jealousy on my part. Because you had people who loved you and were loyal to you without any doubt or wonder about it. You could count on them and I hated seeing you take them for granted. Why I did things, why I said things, why I was such a bitch.”
Cordelia took a deep breath and squatted back down. “But, damn it I really did like you too. And I got what your life was like, how hard it had to be with all that pressure and I knew after Homecoming that when you saw me, you saw this normal part of being a teenager you thought you wanted. Being crowned Queen, having popular friends, homework and only cheating boyfriends and not homicidal ones to worry about. I get that. More than I did then, but I got it then. And I never forgot Homecoming, Buffy. Our competition or what you said in that shack. And well, I went to a flower store today. Was going to get you yellow roses to match your yellow hair or something. But there were all these flowers and I looked at them and all I think of was that they weren’t quite right. And then I walked out of the store and went to dollar store and found this. It’s kind of close to what you or I should’ve won Homecoming night. I remember you said you looked good in a tiara. And I knew you were right. I mean what pretty girl doesn’t look great in a tiara? And I just wanted you to know, that no one is mourning the destiny you were called for. Willow’s mourning her best friend, Dawn’s mourning her sister, Xander’s mourning his friend and his first real crush. Giles is mourning someone that was like a daughter to him. I even saw Angel, Buffy. He’s mourning his love. And me. I’m mourning the only real competition I ever had in Sunnydale High School. So here you go, I dub you Homecoming Queen. Here is your tiara.”
Angel had become transfixed, he’d known at first as he listened he should have left but he hadn’t. Then Cordelia had switched gears so many times in her tone and her body language toward the grave that he couldn’t move. And then she’d given Buffy in her speech something he knew would mean the world to her. Cordelia had told her that she saw Buffy as a normal girl. His mind reeled at it and then he saw the tiara Cordelia had pulled out of a bag, glistening in the moonlight on the tombstone and he stepped forward. He wanted a better look, he wanted to imagine what it would like in Buffy’s hair and the smile she would have getting to wear it. His foot crunched against a fallen branch on the ground and it punctured the silence that had fallen around them.
Before he knew it a cross was in front of him and Cordelia was yelling something about knowing how to use the stake in her other hand. He held up his hands in a protective gesture and shook his head. “It’s Angel. Cordelia it’s me.”
The cross lowered and Cordelia cursed at him. “Fuck. Angel, don’t sneak up on a girl in a Sunnydale cemetery unless you have a death wish…” her eyes widened. “Oh! Oh my God! You don’t do you! Buffy wouldn’t like that and don’t make me have to suicide watch you I don’t think I have the stamina for that.”
“What? No. I just wanted to look at the tiara…” Angel heard himself stammer.
Cordelia stared at him, her mouth opening and closing, he heard her blood swishing through her veins as it got hotter from her embarrassment. She glanced at the tiara and back at him and then her eyes flashed with anger. “You were eavesdropping on my private conversation with Buffy! You dumbass!”
Angel stared at her, what had she just called him. “I am not.”
“Are too. You don’t eavesdrop on people when they are talking to the dead.”
“Well, I didn’t mean too but you were here when I came back – I wasn’t done talking, I hadn’t even gotten to start talking to her when a vampire showed up thinking I’d make a good snack.”
Cordelia rolled her eyes. “So? I don’t see how a vampire dusting gives you a good reason to eavesdrop on me.”
“It didn’t, I just… you were talking and then… the Homecoming story… damn it I just want to see the tiara okay?”
“What? What the hell, should I have bought you one too? Could had a certain pizzazz but it wouldn’t really look right with the leather.”
“Everything works with leather.”
“Just keep telling yourself that, dumbass. Maybe it will make it true.”
Angel closed his eyes and wondered what the hell to do. How did he stop this never-ending conversation and get to what he wanted. An better look at the tiara, so he could imagine Buffy in it and then say goodbye to the brilliant image of sunshine and gold he was sure it would make. “Cordelia, I still need to… I didn’t get too be alone with her…” he trailed off and looked over her shoulder at where he knew the grave was but Cordelia was blocking.
“Oh!” Cordelia’s eyes grew round and she nodded. “Sorry, I…well you can apologize to me later.” She bent down and grabbed her purse, and the empty bag that had held the tiara, then she breezed past him.
Glancing over his shoulder, he watched until she disappeared from his sight then he hurried to the tombstone and picked up tiara and smiled. “She’s right, Buffy. It looks good on you,” he whispered settling it back down, the image he’d wanted burned into his mind. “Buffy, I…”
And Angel said goodbye to his first love.
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