Title: Always
Author: wereleopard
Posted: 04-13-2005
Email:
Rating: PG
Category:
Content: Cordelia/Angel
Summary: A visit from old friends bring up memories and hidden feelings
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: Ok just to clarify this story is based before Birthday. Have no idea where it is on Buffy so sorry if they do not match up. Hmmm that would make it an AU then. Angel knows he is in love with Cordelia but she has no idea.
Feedback: Yes please this is the first fic I have written in a long time
Thanks/Dedication:Part 1
Cordelia slowly made her way down the stairs of the Hyperion Hotel. This place had become more of a home to her than her own apartments was but she still kept it for too reasons: The main one of course was Dennis even though he is a ghost he had become family to her and taken care of her when she needed it. He was in a way a lot like Angel, very over protective. The thought made her smile that the two men that went over the top to take care of her were both dead, but the second reason was that she had somewhere else to go when she needed to get away for a couple of hours and if she was really, really lucky she might get 5 or 6 hours of much needed sleep.
A masculine voice echoed through the lobby of the hotel and Cordelia smiled and headed towards the reception desk where one rogue demon hunter was saying his final goodbyes on the phone. She waved her hand at him to get his attention but as he turned to her the look on his face made her hand drop to her side and the smile that once lit her face faded fast. Who was that? The seer thought.
She waited for him to finally put the phone down before the rapid-fire questions came at him. “What’s going on? What’s wrong? Who was on the phone? What disaster is coming our way this time? You know you think we could have a couple days off you know, a bit of a rest, it’s not easy getting the visions but NOOOOOO.” Cordelia carried on her rant and Wesley stopped and starred at her.
“Cordy, Cordy, CORDELIA.” He finally shouted getting her attention.
“Jeez Wes there was no need to shout I’m not deaf.” She said with a grin. “So what’s up?”
“Cordy let’s just wait until the others arrive so I don’t have to keep repeating myself.” He answered.
A frown marred her beautiful face as she paced back and forwards her heels clicking on the ground beneath her awaiting the arrival of the others. Patience had never been a virtue of hers. Hurry up her mind repeated over and over again.
“Hey” a deep voice said and watched with a grin as his best friend jumped and Wes turned quickly to the stairs. His smile soon began to fade as her saw the looks on their faces and with a sigh he walked towards them wondering what was wrong this time.
“Well 1 down and 2 to go” she muttered as she went to the kitchen to get Angel his blood. Wes won’t tell us until Fred and Gunn are here” She shouted from the Kitchen.
Angel turned and looked at Wesley and he nodded in affirmation.
“Here you go brood boy breakfast is served” said the feminine voice as the glass was shoved in front of his face.
The doors swung open as the two missing members of Angel Investigation walked in.
“You guys. We brought breakfast” Gunn called out loudly.
“Fred, Gunn can you come and join us. I have something to tell you. I received a phone call earlier this morning and well ummm.” He looked at Cordy and Angel knowing that it was going to hit them more than anyone else.
“Get on with it Wes” Cordy said impatiently.
“The phone call was from Giles,” The ex-watcher said never taking his eyes from the two other Sunnydale rejects.
“Oh god I am in hell and why do I have this bad feeling about whatever you are going to say I am going to hate” Cordy put her hand to he eyes. If this meant something about Buffy what was Angel going to do, she hated to see him hurting and every time crybuffy was mentioned he usually went into a funk.
Part 2
Angel looked at Cordelia he was surprised by her outburst quickly joined by the others.
Cordy realised that everyone was staring at her she rolled her eyes and then looked at Angel and Wesley. “Oh come on, when was the last time they phoned us for a book and the only good news was when they told us about Buffy coming back. My money, if I had any, would be on a new big nasty or something apocalypse-y. So Wes what did they want?”
Wesley shuffled slightly uncomfortably. “Well Cordelia is right it is about and apocalypse and the ummm ‘new nasty’ that is going to cause it.”
“So they need you do they English” Gunn asked.
“Actual it is happening here in LA and not in Sunnydale so Giles is coming here and Buffy and the others have offered to come help with the research and the fighting.”
Cordelia turned to Angel once again, concern was written all over her face, she knew how hard this must be for him knowing that he was going to see her again after all that had happened between them her heart ached for him she wanted to reach out and take him in her arms and tell him everything was fine, she would take away the pain, that she loved… Her eyes opened wide as she realised where her thoughts were going.
“I’m uhhh gonna check on Conner” she stuttered and rushed up the stairs to join Lorne.
Angel watched Cordy leave he had to tell her how he felt, how a part of him would always love Buffy but he was not in love with her anymore. He was in love with his brutally honest, beautiful and stubborn seer.
“So I get to meet the people you knew from Sunnydale.”Fred asked quietly.
“Yes” Wesley said without any enthusiasm. Sunnydale had an effect on them all and a lot of it was not good, there, of course, were moments. He smiled at thought of when he first saw Cordelia and how he felt about her, but now the better he knew her, the more amazing he knew she was the more brotherly he felt.
“What are you smiling at Wesley?” Fred asked.
“When I first met Cordelia. She was brutally honest,” he paused, “ok that has not changed. She never really let people get close to her, if she had a problem she would deal with it by herself if she could. Xander was the only person that got a little close to her but then he betrayed her and she spent time in hospital. Coming to LA was the best thing that happened to her.”
“Apart from the pain from the visions.” Angel still felt guilty everytime he held her, seeing the pain in her eyes and then having to leave her to suffer, the only thing he could do was find and kill whatever was in her vision as quickly as he could.
“Angel she would not change that, it is who she is.” Wesley wasn’t sure how to phrase the next part. “How do you think she is going to handle the others coming from Sunnydale? The only one she has spoken to now and again is Willow.”
“Why would Cordy be nervous?” Gunn asked.
“The last time that she saw them she was the bitch of Sunnydale high who didn’t care about anything or anyone. I wonder if they are going to see the new her, or even believe it.”
They all turned and looked up the stairs to where the heart of Angel Investigations had just walked.
Upstairs in Lorne’s room Cordelia looked down at Conner her heart felt so full everytime she looked at him, a smile lit up her face as she hummed down at him.
Lorne quietly walked into the room and watched her. “You should tell him princess.”
Cordy jumped at the voice suddenly behind her. “Lorne don’t do that you’ll give me a heartattack.”
“You know when I am babysitting I am never far from the little one and don’t change the subject.”
“I can’t tell him and the love of his life will soon be here and he will go back to broodyboy and be in a funk when she leaves.”
“And you will bring him back”
“Lorne I don’t like seeing him hurt like this. What if Buffy has another boyfriend and decides that he needs to know, he deserves so much more, he deserves…”
“You.” Lorne whispered.
Cordelia turned and looked at him with tears in her eyes, he held out his arms and she rushed into them as the green demon held her tightly as her tears fell.
In the lobby no one was sure what to do. They knew that the past was going to be here soon and unless Cordy had a vision they were stuck doing nothing.
“Will they want to stay here because if they do we should get some rooms sorted out?"
“Good idea Fred let’s do that.” Wesley told them and with that they all started to move.
Part 3
Cordelia left Lorne’s room with Conner in her arms and went down Angel’s, she knocked on the door hoping no one was there, her prays, for this were at least answered. She wanted to hold the little baby just for a little longer before she had to put him down. Cordy felt so exhausted, she would only rest for a moment she laid on Angel’s bed with Conner in her arms. Closing her eyes she thought she should do. Cordy was tempted to go back to her apartment and hide until the disaster was over but she knew that she wouldn’t do that, that was one thing about Cordy she might have been a bitch but she was not a coward.
How was she going to treat Angel the same now that her feelings had changed, she couldn’t tell him how she felt because 1) he probably did not feel the same 2) she did not want to ruin the best friendship she had ever had and which was the clincher 3) Buffy the love of his undead life. What would he want with a bluntly honest, the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history, ex-may queen who had visions. Shaking her head Cordy was not going to think like that she didn’t think like that it was not like her to give up without a fight but she was just so tired, a little sleep was all she needed.
But before she could sleep the Scoobies came to mind would she automatically revert to her sarcastic bitch persona, if she didn’t would they see the change in her? Would they care? With those thoughts she snuggled Conner closer to her and at that moment all she wanted was for Angel to walk in and lay down and hold her tightly in his strong arms telling her that everything was going to be ok that he loved her and with those happy thoughts she drifted of into sleep a world where her friends were happy there was no danger.
Downstairs in the lobby Fred was on the internet researching a monster that was in the pending file, Gunn was sitting down playing on his gameboy, Wesley had books spread of his desk and Angel sat looking up the stairs wondering what Cordelia was doing and if he should go and check on her.
“You’re right Willow this place is huge.” A male voice muttered. “Hey deadboy.”
“Xander” Angel turned to the others in turn. “Willow good to see you again, Buffy, Dawn, Anya, Giles and you must be Tara.”
“What about me poof.” An english voice said.
“Spike what are you doing here?”
“I’m a good guy now.” He said with a smirk.
Buffy and Angel stared at each other. The politeness was strained and no one really knew what to say, it had been a long time since some of them had worked together and it was not always happy memories.
Angel looked away from Buffy quickly glanced up the stairs and then to Wesley. The ex-watcher nodded they were all concerned about Cordelia.
“I have a couple of things to do.” With that he walked past them and up the stairs, he could hear the beat of Cordy’s heart and he followed that sound if his own one still beated it would be pounding at the moment.
“Angel?” Buffy questioned but he didn’t reply.
As he reached the top of the stairs he could hear Wes’s voice. “Now let’s get the introductions out of the way.”
Angel knew Cordy was close to Conner, their heartbeats were so close, and he headed towards his bedroom. Opening the door he peaked in and laying there was his dream Cordy on his bed with his child in her arms, but without Conner this was his fantasy but she would have been awake and not asleep. Realising where his thoughts were going he took a gulping breath, it was an automatic reaction even though he didn’t need to. Shutting down the door behind him he walked over and took Conner out of her arms who was looking at him and waving his little arms around, placing his future into the crib the baby gurgled. The vampire went back to the bed and lay down next to his seers. Somehow Cordelia knew he was there as her body moved towards his. Angel knew that he shouldn’t but he pulled her into his arms and held her gently but securely, if it were up to him no one would ever hurt her again.
Part 4
Angel laid with his arms curled around the woman he loved, he could feel her against his chest, her scent surrounded him, he could feel every breath she took, her heartbeat echoed in his ears and his eyes slowly dropped until he fell into dreamland where he could be with the sleeping beauty next to him forever.
Downstairs unaware of the two best friends in each other arms Buffy paced the lobby and kept glancing up the stairs where Angel had disappeared up.
“Where is he?” She muttered as she continued walking to and from.
Wesley, Gunn and Fred snuck looks at each other.
“I’ll go and check.” Wes told them not wanting Buffy to go looking especially with Conner and how close Cordy and Angel where he was not sure she would understand, she would find out soon enough.
Once up stairs he stood outside Angel’s room and listened through the door to see if he could hear anything, when all he heard was silence he gently tapped on the door. “Angel,” he called out. No answer came from inside.
Something pulled Cordelia from her sleep, she started to wake up she was so comfortable and felt so safe she didn’t want to move so she snuggled deeper into her pillow, something tightened it’s hold on her. Cordy froze, not sure what she should do, her head was not on the comfortable pillow it was in fact a chest, a mans hard chest, cautiously she opened her eyes and looked up and there she saw Angel asleep holding her like she was his life line Cordy smiled and laid her head back down to his chest for the first time she felt as if she was in heaven.
Outside not knowing what was going on Wesley knocked on the door harder this time.
“Angel” he called out louder this time.
Angel opened his eyes as he heard his name being called out but a huge grin appeared on his face when he saw Cordy still in his arms.
“What is it Wes?” Angel answered.
Cordy looked up again and looked deep into his eyes and her 100 watt smile grew on her face.
“Buffy and the others are waiting downstairs.” Came the muffled reply from the otherside of the door.
The smile left Cordy’s face at the mention of the slayers name and quickly pulled herself out of Angel’s arm trying to hide her head in embarrassment.
“Oh I uh ummm sorry I didn’t” she stuttered as she rushed to the door and opened it.
“Cordy wait” Angel called out as she rushed out the door and ran past Wesley.
“Did I …..: Wesley was not sure what to say.
“Nothing happened.” Angel replied sadly still staring at the spot where Cordy had vanished.
Sighing looked at Wes and nodded to Conner and went to join the others downstairs. A thoughtful Wes watched him as he left and a smile appearing on his face he hoped that his thoughts were correct, the smile vanished knowing that it could be very dangerous to they did not want Angelus even though Cordy and Angel deserved to be happy.
“I wonder.” He mumbled to himself.
Lorne walked towards Wesley. “Time for me and Conner to spend some more quality time together. Angel wants to break the news of the little one gently,” he stopped when he realised Wesley was not listening to him he tapped him on the shoulder. “Not boring you am I? What are you thinking about?”
“Cordy and Angel?” he answered.
Lorne grinned. “They are perfect for each other if only they would confess their feelings.”
“I think I might have interrupted something earlier, I mentioned Buffy was waiting for Angel.”
Lorne winced. “Well that is definitely going to make the princess hide away, she still believes Angel loves and will always love Buffy that no one else will be in his heart.”
Cordy walked down the stairs what the hell was she thinking Angel loved Buffy they had years of their tragic romance, anything would pale next to that, even if anyone else managed to get him to love them. Walking through the lobby she smiled. “Hi” she said to the whole room and headed towards the kitchen she stopped and looked around. “Would anyone like a drink?” Everyone shook their heads. Cordy made Angel his blood she popped in the microwave and waited.
Angel joined the others and looked towards the kitchen where he could hear her heartbeat, Buffy smiled and moved closer to him but his eyes never moved. Cordy walked out and headed to him with a smile, no matter what her feelings where she was still his best friend. “Here you go broodboy.” She said as she handed him his mug. Walking over she hopped onto the reception desk and looked around Angel followed her and stood at her side.
“So what’s the plan boss?” She asked Wes once he had joined them.
The Sunnydale gang turned and looked at her she stared back. “What Wes is the boss.”
Buffy was confused about Angel she thought that he was the one that would not change, the one she could always rely on he never changed but now that she was here things were different. He was drinking blood in front of people, but the LA lot did not seem to mind but the main thing was that he seemed to comfortanble here it was the way he stood, the way he didn’t try to hide. He was not the same man she knew and that worried her.
Cordy watched the room, Angel watched her she could feel his eyes on her, Buffy watched Angel but what surprised Cordy was the way Spike was watching the slayer. Things were getting interesting.
Suddenly she screamed and fell forward before she could hit the ground strong arms took hold of her and held her tightly but gently as she screamed and cried as the vision tore through her mind.
Xander moved forward but Anya took hold of his arm. Wesley ran to Cordy’s side while Fred ran to get water from the kitchen and Gunn ran to the bathroom to get her painkillers.
Angel rocked her gently as the pain racked through her body his heart broke with every scream, with every tear just because it did not beat it could still hurt and call out to do something to stop the pain she was in but he couldn’t.
The visitors all wanted answers but they knew that they had to wait Buffy watched them as the moved in sync, they moved like a team who knew each other so well that they could read each others minds.
Part 5
Angel held her as her sobs started to slow down, she buried her head into his chest wishing the pain would leave knowing it was getting worse and worse and she knew what that meant. She was dying Cordy had been told that but it was getting harder and harder to make believe it was not true. What was she going to tell Angel? He would blame himself and then try and a way to stop the visions, her visions. She couldn’t allow that too happen. She looked up and saw the worried look in her vampire’s eyes, Cordy sniffed a few times and Angel reached down and wiped away the tears.
Buffy stood staring at them. “What the hell is going on?” she shouted.
Cordy jumped and tried to pull away from Angel but he wouldn’t let her and helped her slowly to her feet and with his arm wrapped around her waist he led her to one of his sofas. Fred, Gunn and Wesley followed them.
“Well!” Buffy asked impatiently.
Wes had his notebook open ready to take notes, Gunn and Fred handed Cordy the water and the painkillers she smiled back at them.
“Thanks.” She said quietly knowing that they were not going to take away the pain. It would go once Angel killed what had to be killed and saved the person that needed to be saved. “It’s on fifth and something near that old church it is big and green and has claws the girl is so scared Angel, hurry.”
Gunn and Wesley rushed to their feet and ran to the weapons cabinet.
“We will” Angel said kissing her on the forehead. “Take care of her Fred”
“I will Angel,” a quiet voice said.
With that he rushed out of the door without glancing at anyone else. Buffy stood their opened mouth. What the hell had just happened?
Spike stood watching as well he was frozen to the spot, Angel had not seemed that interested in Buffy he was more worried about the cheerleader. What was going on around here?
“Umm. What was that?”Xamder asked.
Cordy and Fred looked at him with confusion on their faces.
“What happened to you Cordy?" He rectified.
Willow hissed at him. “Not now” she said through gritted teeth.
“It’s ok Willow” Cordy answered. “It was a vision.”
“A vision.” Buffy asked skeptically she knew that she sounded bitchy but she couldn’t seem to help it. Things weren’t suppose to change Angel was supposed to look at her and she was the centre of his world. “What you get pretty pictures in your head telling Angel where people are.”
Fred stood up and glared at her. “No she sees people being attacked and she feels everything the victim does.”
Buffy opened her mouth then closed it again she was not sure what to say. “I’m sorry I don’t know why I said that.”
“It’s okay Buffy you’ve been through a lot.” Cordy replied softly.
Everyone stared at her.
“What?” she asked as she noticed everyone’s eyes.
“You umm seem different.” Willow said.
“You all changed did you think I wouldn’t”
“I never thought about it you were always Cordelia.” Willow replied not sure if that made any sense.
“I still am but I am also Cordy.”
“The heart of Angel Investigations.” Fred added knowing that is how they all felt about her.
“Thank you Fred sweetie.”
“I’m gonna borrow Angel’s bed until they get back ok?” Fred nodded and watched Cordy slowly make her way upstairs.
“Ok Fred can you explain about these visions.” Xander asked starting to get impatient.
“Well I can tell you what I was told you see I wasn’t around at the start no on here was I was in a hell dimension and they all rescued me I was a cow and they tried to take my head.” Fred stopped as soon as she saw the blank look on their faces. “Sorry Cordy got them from Doyle just before he died, he kissed her and from what she said she had no idea what he had done. She then got her first vision and it was the time Wesley arrived. So after that they started working as a team and Cordy tried to get rid of them, she didn’t want the pain it was kind of ruining her life.”
“That sounds like the Cordelia we know and hated.” Xander said with a laugh
Fred glared at him again; Willow dug an elbow into his ribs.
“Please carry on Fred?” Willow asked politely.
“Well from what Wesley told me, Angel doesn’t like to talk about it. Wolfram and Hart had this demon they wanted something brought back and they needed the scrolls that Wesley had so umm” Fred paused for a moment as she remembered Angels face when she was told this story. “It touched Cordy’s hand and she was taken into the neuro ward and sedated all she kept doing was screaming afterwards they found out she was having visions 24-7 she was feeling the pain of all the victims all over the world, it changed her. She knew what had to be done.” Tears started to roll down her cheeks. “I’m sorry but Cordy has been through so much.”
Fred headed towards the office and started to sort through paperwork and every so often her eyes would glance to the stairs.
“So you think she has really changed?” Buffy asked.
“Well it seems like it.” Willow replied.
“I guess we wait and see.” Xander put his thoughts in.
Cordy laying on Angel’s bed trying to keep the pain at bay glanced over at the clock; it had been an hour since the others had gone. She hadn’t meant to stay up her too long it wasn’t fair to leave Fred down with strangers by herself. Cordy sat up and the pain began to fade. They had done it and they would be home soon.
Rushing down the stairs she ran straight to Fred in the office.
“I’m sorry for leaving you alone with them.”
“That’s ok” Fred mumbled into Cordy’s shoulder as she was pulled into a hug.
Walking out into the lobby Cordy announced. “They should be back soon”
“How do you know?” Giles asked.
“The pain it is easing off only happens when the guys have slain the evil ones”
“Really” Giles replied absently staring at her with renewed interest.
“Fred can you grab the first aid kit please?”
“Sure Cordy will Angel need patched up again?”
“Probably he normally does.”
The two female members of AI sat and waited for the heroes return and see which ones need to be patched up.
Part 6: Truths
The door of the hotel opened and in hobbled Angel, Wesley and Gunn. Buffy’s eyes fell on Angel and she could see that he was hurt and without thinking she rushed to his side. Spike’s eyes narrowed as he watched the exchange, Cordy’s heart fell as she saw the way the slayer was looking at her ex-boyfriend.
“Oh my god Angel you’re hurt.” She whispered.
“I’m fine Buffy.” He answered as his eyes sought out his seer. Cordy could see that he was in a lot of pain and the best friend came out, she smiled and walked over to him.
“You’re not ok let me take a look at it.” Angel wrapped his arm around her shoulders, as her arm slid around his waist to give a little more support. She looked over at Wesley and Gunn and saw Fred hovering over them but she also was glancing at Angel. “How are you guys doing? Any patching up needed?” The two guys shook their heads,
Buffy watched from the door, suddenly forgotten, as he walked away from her without a second thought. Over at the sofa Angel sat down slowly and stiffly. Cordy took off his leather coat and soon his ruined shirt followed. She pushed his knees apart and knelt between them as she looked at the claw scratches that went from his chest to his stomach. Slowly she cleaned the wound, her touch feather soft so it could be barely felt. Angel looked down at the dark head of hair and smiled he loved it when she took care of him, it was the one thing that made getting hurt ok. Cordy patched him up and pulled out a bandage from the first aid kit and started to wrap it around him, when it went around his back she was pulled closed to his chest, she could smell him, her heartbeat started to speed up, her breath became shallow. Angel’s eyes narrowed in thought he heard the change of her breathing and heart, and a new smell enveloped him, it was arousal. A purely masculine smile lit up his face, maybe there could be something between them after all if only they could talk about it. Cordy looked up and smiled at him she reached over and helped him put his ruined shirt back on and buttoned it up. “There good as new. Do you need any blood to help heal that up?"
“Thanks and no I don’t it wasn’t all that deep.” All he wanted to do was be here with his family Cordelia, Connor, Fred, Gunn, Wesley and Lorne where he could be relaxed and be himself. With Buffy here he felt himself reverting back to how he was the hiding in the shadows and doing what ever she wanted and when he felt that happening he looked around him this was his home, these were his friends, this was his life, it was amazing how much he had changed more in these last years in LA then he had ever done in his 250 years before. A lot had to do with the people he had met and how they had treated him, he was more than just a vampire and he kept trying and trying to prove to them that they’re trust in him had not been misplaced.
A cough was heard from the stairs. “Angelcakes I hope everything went ok but.” Lorne stopped as he saw the new comers were staring him at. “Hi,”
Angel looked at Cordelia and they both knew that Lorne was talking about Connor. “Lorne why don’t you introduce yourself and maybe do some readings.” Cordy asked as she nodded to the others and her and Angel went off up the stairs.
“Of course princess I’d be happy to see what their aura’s tell me if they want me to?” Lorne said with a smile.
“What the hell is going on with them?” Buffy demanded.
Wesley hobbled over carefully. “They have things they need to do.” He tried to explain.
“What kind of things?” Buffy carried on getting annoyed.
Wesley was getting angry Buffy came here and thought that everything would be dropped because she was the centre of attention at Sunnydale.
“Things that’ve got nothing to do with you.” Gunn answered he had no idea who she was and didn’t have any history with her at all. He knew that she had died and was no back but that was no reason to talk down to anyone.
Buffy turned to him and she knew that she wasn’t going to get any answers, so she turned and tried to follow where Angel and Cordelia had gone. Wesley and Gunn stood in her way. “They are private quarters Angel will be back down when he is finished and then you can ask him whatever you want but please have a seat I am sure he won’t be to long.” Well they hoped he wouldn’t be they weren’t sure how long they could keep the slayer down here.
Upstairs Angel and Cordy had straight for Angel’s room they knew that is where Lorne would have put him. “Hey big guy.” Cordy said smiling as she watched Angel pick up his son. “You’re going to have to tell her we can’t keep him up her forever.” She commented.
Angel nodded. “I suppose so.” That was a conversation he was not looking forward to, glancing around he noticed that there was no baby formula, and everyone would notice them leaving the kitchen with a bottle he sighed deeply. “Well no time like the present I suppose.”
Cordy reached out and touched his arm she knew how hard this was for him especially explaining about Darla. She held out her arms. “You explain and I will feed.”
“You’re not going to leave me alone with them are you?” Angel asked worriedly.
“Buffy is going to want to talk to you alone Angel you have hardly said two words to her and she’s noticed there is something different in your relationship.” Cordy choked the words out.
Angel looked at her. “Buffy and I don’t have a relationship not anymore.” He knew at some point that he was going to have to sit Cordy down and make her understand that he would always love Buffy she was a big part of his life, a big part of his past but that was it. Cordy was stubborn and he knew that he was going to have to tell her over and over again that he loved her, he smiled at the thought that was something he was going to enjoy doing as long as she loved him back the same way, she had to, he couldn’t even think of the alternative.
Angel and Cordy walked down the stairs both making faces at the baby. Suddenly in the lobby the silence was deafening you could hear a pin drop and suddenly Xander’s voice echoed out.
“That’s a baby.” He turned to his friends. “Did anyone know that Cordy was a mother?”
“I’m not his mother.” Cordy answered and her heart broke.
“Yes you are.” Angel told her, she was his mother and he couldn’t think of anyone better. Cordy smiled a 1000-watt smile at him.
“Ok I’m not his biological mother.” Cordy confirmed.
“So who is the mother and the father.” Willow asked.
“Well I am his father.” Angel answered.
Spike turned to him his face echoed the shock that the others showed.
“Well this little guy is hungry.” Cordy said as she escaped into the kitchen. Angel watched and wished he could follow.
“You have a child Angel and you never told me? Who the hell is the mother?” Buffy screamed at him.
“I didn’t know how to tell you and how often do you phone and tell me what has happened in your life unless you wanted to rub my nose in it.” The vampire was angry this was his life.
Buffy looked down at the ground and tears spilled from her eyes. “I’m sorry Angel this was a bit of a shock.” She couldn’t believe that his life had changed so much and he looked so happy. “So who is the mother, biologically I mean?” She finished she didn’t want to upset him again.
“Darla.” Angel whispered as he waited for the reaction.
Part 7
Darla, Connor and More Surprises
Buffy’s mouth fell open; Spike’s eyes froze on Angel.
“Damn you” the blonde haired vampire muttered.
Cordy stood in the kitchen door and watched she saw Spike’s face.
“Spike.” She called out. He turned to look at her. “Come and help me in the kitchen.” The vampire opened his mouth to say something. “Now” she added. With another quick glance at Angel and Buffy Spike shrugged his shoulders and then they dropped, he scuffed his way to the kitchen to join the cheerleader.
The rest of the Scooby gang just stared at Angel. Xander turned and looked at his friends. “I did just miss hear that didn’t I. Or I had a nightmare right.” He looked hopefully at the others and when they didn’t reply he sighed. “Angel has a child by Darla and Cordy is helping to raise him. Just clarifying it for myself.” He shook his is head again to see if it would wake him up from this hallucination, because it had to be he still could not get his mind around this. “Do you know something?” Everyone turned to him except for Buffy her eyes will still fixed on Angel. “I’m ok with the baby and Darla as strange as that sounds, but the main problem I am understanding is Cordelia, the bitch of Sunnydale High, why on earth would you want her to be a mother figure?”
Angel glared at him soon joined by Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne. “Cordy is a great mother.” Fred said defensively. Gunn turned and looked at Wesley. “Yo English. You’re the leader. Do you mind if I smash some manners into this boys head?”
Xander’s face paled and he took a step back, eyes wild looking at everyone in the room.
“If he makes another crack like that about Cordy I’ll help you Gunn.” Wesley said with a grin.
“I didn’t mean that ummm” he stuttered.
Angel walked towards him. “Cordy is an amazing woman. She takes care of all of us and is very protective just like we are with her. She is our family”
Gunn nodded in agreement. “Just stop shouting your mouth off and things will be just fine.”
Xander nodded.
“You have a child by Darla?” Buffy questioned everyone turned to face her. “How, why” she shook her head trying to clear it. “How did it happen?” Angel raised an eyebrow at her and his look was eloquent. “I know how, I mean Darla is dead.”
Angel smiled. “You all better sit down.” He turned to look at the kitchen; he didn’t want to leave Cordy alone with Spike for too long. Just as if she could read his mind and he sometimes thought she could the two of them walked out with the baby. “We need some more formula Spike and I are going down to the local market.”
Buffy and Angel both stared at them. Cordy smiled and slipped her empty arm through Spikes and pulled him away and out of the hotel. Angel wanted to go after them but he knew Cordy would kill him. Buffy turned her attention straight back to Angel she sat down. “Ok now explain.” The slayer ordered.
Spike and Cordy walked down the street. “So what is it about Buffy that makes vampires fall in love with her?” Cordy asked.
Spike stopped which meant she had to as well. He turned at stared at her. “I’m not, I mean I…” He stuttered not knowing what to say.
“It’s ok Spike. I could see it on your face. Does she know?”
He nodded and softly said. “She said that she could never love a monster and that was all I am.”
Cordy’s jaw dropped. “She said what?” Amazement covered her face. “I never thought she could be so cruel.”
“It’s because I am not Angel. There is no one for her apart from him, well that is what she thinks anyway.”
Cordy nodded in agreement. “Oh yes the Buffy and Angel tragic romance story. We all have lived and still are living through it.”
“So what about you?” Spike asked.
Cordy looked at him confused. “What about me what?”
“You and Angel?” He said with a grin on his face.
“There is no me and Angel. We are best friends.”
“Same boat huh.” Spike said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“Yep you and me. Quite a team huh. A seer and a vampire, both who love people who will never return it in a way they want. If you ever need to talk come to LA or pick up a phone an call me.” Cordy offered.
Spike smiled at her and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. “Same goes for me. But I know how you hate Sunnydale so you call and I’ll come here.”
Cordy stuck out her hand. “Friends?”
“Friends, so tell me about this little chap and Darla.”
Cordy shook her head. “Angel and his speech about. I was going through a dark time.” She mimicked.
Spike laughed.
Meanwhile back at the hotel Angel had just finished telling them about what had happened.
“Darla killed herself so they baby could live?” Willow whispered.
“You would have killed Darla and the baby because she bit Cordelia.” Buffy said. Why would Angel have done that?
He shook his head tired of Buffy and Xander putting down Cordy. He looked at the clock and they had not returned yet, he was getting worried. He looked over at Gunn, Fred and Wesley. They all nodded, understanding what he was thinking. Angel walked over the phone and rang her mobile.
Giles watched them amazement evident in his face. “How do you all do that?”
“Do what?” Wesley asked.
“You just look at each other and then you all seem to communicate.” He asked.
“It’s been a while.” Wesley started.
“And we are all worried.” Fred added.
“And we want to know where she is.” Gunn joined in.
“And if she is safe.” Lorne said with a grin.
“So I am calling her mobile” Angel muttered as he dialled.
“Cordy where are..no but..I was just…no I trust you..well no I didn’t mean it..” He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it.
“She’s fine.” Gunn said with a grin and knew that Angel had just gotten an earful.
“Her, Spike and Connor are getting ice cream.”
“Ice cream?” Buffy said. Spike should be here with her, he said he loved her so he should be here comforting her. The slayer had just found out that the love of her life had a baby with someone who was staked years ago and is being raised by her rival from Sunnydale.
Angel stared at the door wondering if he should go out and find her.
“Don’t Angel she would not be happy if you phoned her she would make you pay for it.” Wesley explained.
Buffy watched Angel and saw him smile as he thought of Cordelia, the jealousy grew in her once again and a determination came over her, Angel would be hers again. They were meant for each other and he had just forgotten it but she was going to remind him. She walked over to him and touched his shoulder and smiled sweetly up at him.
“Maybe we could go somewhere, like old times.” She whispered to him.
Just at that moment Spike and Cordy walked in laughing, but the smiles vanished as they saw Buffy and Angel looking at each other.
Cordy’s changed once again so there was no emotion on it. “Yes Angel you should just like old times. I’m just going to go upstairs and play with Connor.”
Spike turned and watched Cordy his admiration for her growing. “I think I’ll join you and get to know the little fella.” With that he placed his hand on the small of her back and they went upstairs, hiding their faces and their true feelings.
“See Cordelia thinks it is a good idea.” Buffy said seductively.
“Buffy I can’t, I won’t drop everything just like that I have a life here, I have a family and I work for Wes now. I have responsibilities.”
Buffy grew angry. “What about your responsibilities to me?”
Angel stared at her eyes wide. “Buffy we have both moved on with our lives, we are not the same people that we were and I don’t want to go back. Look around you I am happy here. I have this family people I can rely and trust on, I have people I love, I have a son and you want me to what exactly?”
“I want you to come home to Sunnydale, to be with me like it used to be?” She said with tears in her eyes.
Amazement was written all over Angel’s face. “After all I have just said you honestly want me to leave everything.”
“Yes I can’t move her because I am the slayer and I have to fight the fight in Sunnydale but you could join me?” Her voice was hopeful.
“Buffy I have a mission here, Cordy is my seer. Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Lorne and Cordy are fighting for souls, for my redemption so one day I will become human. I let them down once before and hurt them especially Cordy and I won’t do it again ever.” Angel tried to let her know how much these people meant to him.
“But you love me?” Buffy whined.
“I will always love you. Buffy you were my first love and made me realise that people could care about me and I could care about them. But I’m not in love with you, not anymore and I haven’t been for a long time now.” Angel’s voice was soft.
“I love you Angel I always have.” She grabbed hold of him and tried to kiss him.
Angel took hold of her shoulders and pushed away gently. “No Buffy you in love with the idea of being in love.” He looked into her eyes. “What’s really wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just want things to be back to the way they were. I want you back.”
“Buffy you can’t go back you can only go forward.” Angel told her softly he could see that their was something wrong with her and he didn’t know what it was but she did not seem the same young woman he knew, in a way she was acting more child like, the more problems she had the more immature she acted. He glanced up the stairs and that was another different between the two of them Cordy took any situation head on and dealt with it the only way she knew how. She would fight for the people she cared for. The more problems she had the more amazing woman she became until it had became the woman he fell in love with, she still had so elements of that brash teenager he had met she still had no tact and most of the times when she thought something she said it, and now he realised a lot of her bitchiness was too hide her true feelings, she never had any real friends in Sunnydale people just wanted to be seen with her, in LA wanting to be an actress people would have tried to use her. He was glad that he had bumped into her Angel could no longer imagine his life without his Cordy.
Buffy looked up at him and she saw he was looking up the stairs. “What the hell is going on with you and Cordelia you are either watching her, talking about her and I’m guessing thinking about her? She is nothing, less than that. She’s a failed actress and has no one can rely on her.” She spat out anger getting the better of her Cordy had everything that she should have this was supposed to be Buffy’s life and the bitch stole it. “She stole my life, she stole you. I should be here not her.”
Angel visibly pulled away, his eyes were like shutters they turned off and became cold and distant anger vibrated through him. He headed towards the basement, he was not going to hit her but he had to hit something.
Lorne turned the others and indicated upstairs Wesley nodded at him, the only person who could calm him down, was funny enough the only person that could truly wind him up as well.
The demon rushed up the stairs, he knocked gently on the door and walked in Cordy was crying and Spike had his arms wrapped around her. “Sorry princess but things got from bad to worse down there and I have never seen Angelcakes so angry.”
Cordy pulled away from Spike, she smiled at him wiped her eyes and turned to look at her friend. “What happened?” She asked worry was evident in her voice.
“Well it seems little Miss Slayer wants to rewind history when tall, dead and studly said that time couldn’t not be rewound and that he wasn’t actually in love with her. She laid into you saying that you stole her life and all this should be hers. I thought Angel was going to hit her but he headed down to the basement.”
From downstairs a shout was heard and banging of feet on the stairs Angel’s door was ripped from its hinges and standing there was one very angry slayer. Her eyes blazing she stalked towards Cordy. Spike took one sidestep and stood face to face with Buffy.
“I won’t let you hurt her Buffy, she doesn’t have super strength like you and you aren’t thinking clearly.” Spike told her, he could feel Cordy’s eyes glaring at his back but he would deal with later as long as she was unhurt.
“You’re protecting her why? You said you loved me?” Buffy looked at him accusingly. There was a gasp from the door Spike looked over Buffy and saw that everyone apart from Angel was there.
“You called me a monster and that you could never have feelings for me. Maybe I am but Cordy treated me like a person, a man but she never forget that I was still a vampire and she was ok with that. When we were out she asked if I needed any blood and did I take anything in it.”
“Buffy I haven’t done anything to you.” Cordy said as she stepped around Spike and patted him on the shoulder.
“Angel you stole him from me, it’s your fault.” Buffy said tears filling her eyes.
“He loves you, he’ll always love you.” Cordy said her heart breaking as the words came out of her mouth.
“No he says he’s not in love with me anymore and it’s all because of you.”
“Why is it my fault?” Cordy was starting to get angry; she had enough of all of this.
“Because he loves you.” Buffy screamed at her.
“You’re wrong.” Cordy whispered it would have been a dream come true if it were.
“She’s right,” said a male voice from behind the others, they all moved and they’re stood Angel. “I do love you. How could I not? Look at the amazing woman you’ve become. You know more about me than anyone else, you make me laugh, you get me angry quicker than anyone, I do anything for you, and you heat my blood up. You’re my best friend and before I knew it I was head over heels in love with you and seeing you holding Connor I want to walk over and hold you both in my arms. You keep this place going. You sort out the arguments. You are my heart and soul and I could never think of a way to tell you and if I had thought of anything it would not have been this.” He turned to Buffy. “There is something wrong with you and if you don’t talk about it whatever it is will eat you up inside and never take it out on any of my family.”
Cordy ‘s world stopped and she could not tear her eyes away from her vampire, a smile appeared on her face yes Angel was her vampire.
“I love you to Angel.” She whispered.
Angel’s head whipped round a smile on his face.
“But we have all the time in the world to discuss it. Buffy we are going out.”
Buffy stared at her. “I’m not.” But before she could finish her sentence Cordy grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of the room and then out of the hotel.
Angel still had a stupid smile on his face but it vanished as soon as he realised Cordy would be alone with a jealous and angry slayer he made a move to the door but Wesley stopped him.
“Don’t Angel Cordy has to do this.” Wesley said Angel knew that he was right but it did not make him worry any less.
“If Buffy hurts her.” Angel growled.
The LA crew nodded in agreement and to the surprise of the Scooby gang so did Spike. He had become protective of Cordy she was truly one of the good guys and there were not many people like her in the world.
Part 8
Cordy gripped Buffy’s hand tightly her knuckles were white with the pressure and she pulled the her outside and they both knew that if Buffy did not want to go there was nothing that the seer could have done to stop her with one yank of her arm Buffy could have thrown Cordy across the room or knocked her into a wall. She pulled her out into the garden and didn’t stop once she kept on going once they reached the wall on the outside and were far away from the door as possible Cordy turned crossed her arms over and chest and raised an eyebrow at the slayer.
“What?” Buffy asked sullenly with a glare at the brunette.
“What the hell is going on with you?” She asked.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Cordy shock her head and sighed. “Don’t give me that bull you’ve been acting like a spoilt brat and I want to know why?”
“Why? You want to know why?” Buffy screamed at her. “This should have been my life. You stole my life.” Sobbing as she shouted at Cordy.
“Buffy get over yourself already. This is not Sunnydale where we all worship at the alter of the slayer. The whole world does not revolve around you” Cordy was getting a little tired of the look at me I am the slayer please pity me routine.
“YOU STOLE IT.” She screamed.
“What this life or Angel?” Cordy whispered but the quietness just for a moment was deafening and it took a little while for Buffy to actually speak.
“Both he should have been mine he was going to love me forever and then you came here and ruined it all. You changed him you took him from me? Why did you take him?” The slayer mumbled trying to keep the whine out of her voice but failing.
Cordy reached over and touched Buffy on the arm her heart went out to her the slayer had been through a lot but so had everyone in Sunnydale and in LA they had to get on with it but they had spent so much time trying to help and protect her that Buffy had gotten used to and no one realised what they were doing and it must have been hard for her when she died but she was back alive the petite blonde pulled away sharply and lost her balance falling heavily to the ground sniffling and not bothering to actually try and get up. Cordy knelt in front of her there was something off, something not right and no one knew or no one was talking about it. “What’s really wrong Buffy this isn’t about me, Angel or this life in LA but there is something bothering you and you can’t keep it bottled up. I am here if you need to talk.”
The Cordy stood turned away and started to walk back into the hotel to join the others when a quiet voice stopped her.
“They pulled me from heaven.” She whispered.
Cordy’s face paled as she turned to her once nemesis from school. “Oh Buffy.” She whispered and rushed to the crying girl and pulled the slayer into her arms Buffy wrapped her arms around Cordy and help tightly as the tears started to fall, all the feelings of anger, hate and loneliness finally getting a release.
“I know they thought they were helping me, they thought I was in hell but there are times when I think they were doing it for themselves that they couldn’t imagine their lives without me they didn’t even want to try. It was so peaceful no fighting, no being the slayer, nothing weird going on I was at one with myself and now its gone and I feel like there is something missing, I came back but part of me an important part was left there and I feel out of touch out of place I find that I can’t care about anything I am numb, empty that I am just a shell.” She looked up and her eyes puffy from the tears.
“Buffy I am sure they thought that you needed saving and yes they couldn’t imagine a life without their friend. When I heard I was upset we may have not got on but I never hated you, not really. The world needs you it needs all the heroes it can get. Maybe you were brought back for a reason I really don’t know” She paused for a moment trying to gather her thoughts. “I am sure it is natural to feel out of place and numb after everything you have gone through. It is your bodies way of coping with everything but it will all come back and your be back to the kick ass slayer that we all know and hate.” She said with a quick grin to let the other woman know she was only joking Cordy opened her mouth to say more when one sentence stopped her the world seemed to have shift and she was sure she misheard.
“I had sex with Spike.” Buffy whispered.
Cordy pulled back to look into the other girls eyes her face full of disbelief. “Did I hear you correctly I wasn’t hearing things was I” Hoping that she had been but her wishes were dashed once the blonde nodded. “So how’d that happen? I mean ok I know HOW uhh but why, when and what the hell were you thinking.” Not really wanting to know the answer but knowing that Buffy needed to talk to someone about it and it looked like that person was her.
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