Title: Show Me Normal
Author: Tonya
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: No own, no sue.
Distribution: Just ask!
Spoilers: Season 3, “Birthday” in particular.
Feedback: “Hello, my name is Tonya, and I am a feedbackaholic.”
Summary: Cordy ponders her “human” life.
You may never be able to lead a human life again.
Those had been Skip’s exact words. If I hadn’t been caught up in the emotion of the moment, I would have made some snarky comment about how I’ve never really led what could be considered a normal human life.
I used to lead a normal human life. Well, as normal as it could in the Chase family. Growing up in the Chase home left much to be desired. My parents weren’t really parents. My mother had Epstein-Barr and had very little time for me. My father was too busy making money (and cheating the IRS, I later found out) to take notice of his teenage daughter. I didn’t have the family dinners. I didn’t have the talks. I didn’t even have family vacations. My parents always went on their own little trips and left me to do whatever I pleased with whomever I pleased. All I had were five credit cards with limitless spending power.
And that worked for me. I was “Queen C of Sunnydale.” It wasn’t a typical teenager’s life, but it worked for me… until I was sucked into the whirlwind known as the Hellmouth Extravaganza. That’s when my slightly normal human life took a sharp left into “Beyond Strange”--Population, me.
I’ll never be able to lead a human life.
Hmmph. Whatever, Skip. This is the girl who actually graduated from Sunnydale High—the school that ranked highest in mysterious student deaths and disappearances. About a good quarter of the people I began high school with never made it to their senior year. I spent a good portion of my high school years fighting slimy demons, learning how to stake vampires, and getting used to the sight of disembodied limbs and lots and lots of blood. I spent nights up late researching demons and helping execute plans to help save the world again when I should have been studying, or hell, even dating. Tell me what normal human has to deal with that kind of crap.
Normal human life? What the hell is that?
And just when I thought I was out, the weirdness just sucked me right back in. I came to LA to get away from all the otherworldly stuff. To get away from the impending apocalypses, the raising of big evil things. Sadly, after being in LA by myself for a while, those things didn’t seem to bad in comparison to what I was being forced to endure. There’s nothing like being a starving actress with no income and living in an apartment that should have been torn down by the Health Department. Then again, there’s nothing like being a starving actress who thinks she’s getting her big break, but then comes to realize that her big break involves getting her blood sucked by some vampire loser.
Hello, strange events, how I haven’t missed you.
Enter Angel. And that’s when I made a choice. I could either accept the weird that seemed to follow me everywhere I went or I could go back to my land of denial where I was pretty sure my apartment was about to be taken over by a cockroach mutiny. Of course, I chose the weird… and Angel. And once again, I kissed goodbye to whatever could have been a normal human life.
And if that hadn’t been bad enough, Doyle—a friend to both Angel and myself—died to save the lives of others. I couldn’t even mourn properly for our fallen friend because he had unknowingly passed his mind-blowing visions onto me with a goodbye kiss. The visions. That’s the exact moment when I knew I would never be able to lead a normal human life no matter how much I tried.
A human life does not involve visions. Visions of people being attacked, or in some cases, people dying. Visions that make you want to curl up into a ball and die. I wasn’t living a typical human life, but it was my life. And I accepted it.
Maybe for the average twenty-one-year-old, this is abnormal. The demons, the prophecies, the visions. But for me, this is living a normal human life. I’ve been doing this for so long that it’s become a part of who I am. It’s no longer unusual to me.
Okay, it’s still a little unusual, but it doesn’t bother me like it used to. I’ve come to accept this as my life. All the weirdness I have encountered through the years has only made me more human.
So what if I’m part demon now. It kinda makes sense. Just a gradual progression of my life. From no weird to slightly weird to overwhelmingly weird. What can I say? My life is unique.
So, show me your human life, Skip. Show me your normal, and I will show you a quirky little sister. I will show you two protective older brothers. I will show you a man with whom I can share my life and its dreams. I will show you a child that needs my maternal touch, care, and guidance.
I may never be able to live a human life, huh?
Show me.