just fic

Title: Whore (Alternate Title: Revealed in Repose)
Author: Syn
Posted: 08-10-2002
Rating: R for mild sexual situations.
Email: veruca_werewolf@hotmail.com
Content:
Summary: Angel meets up with Cordelia several years after graduation. Things are much different for both of them.
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Take it, spread the love.
Notes: can't believe I haven't posted this here, as the story seems to have made it's rounds everywhere else. I've decided to post it because I'm writing the sequel to it called Beyond Fingertips and I thought you all might want the backstory.
Check out the cover art here: http://www.angelfire.com/weird/buffyoz/TwoWhore.JPG
Feedback: Please! I love it!


This world is harsh, cruel and gritty. People die in the streets and the corpses stack up. No one cares. It’s disgusting and I love it. It is everything I have ever envisioned for the future and everything my non-existent heart ever wanted. Faerie tales do come true.

Here I am, walking through Los Angeles, the streets filled with sorrow and sinister things in the shadows. I walked, licking blood away from my smiling lips, tasting all the secrets my victim whispered as she died. I walked, past a body, past a rape in progress, past seemingly empty alleys filled with the lingering stench of death. All things I expected to see in the wasteland that was now L.A.

What I didn’t expect was to see her.

Long, long chestnut hair, ragged and unkempt, legs bound in fishnet stockings and a curvaceous body covered by almost nothing. Her face was pale, shadowed and painted up like a whore. She was nothing and everything like I had remembered her.

Slowly I slunk into the shadows, disappearing like I knew I could. Her smell was heady, wrapping around me, tantalizing and delicious and so familiar.

I couldn’t help but remember what she had been like so many years ago. Back when I had that damned soul and I could feel. Back when she was an innocent high school girl. Back when the world was right.

Now here she is, painted up like trash and smelling so much like her 17-year-old self. The double image was a bit disorientating, but intoxicating at the same time.

I wondered if she would remember me. Or perhaps the me that I was back then.

Silently, I reached out of the shadows and drew her toward me, quick as a cat. She didn’t shriek as I pressed my body against hers, my lips brushing her ear.

“Cordelia.” I whispered, her heart beating loudly through the ivory satin of her back. Her breath caught in her throat at the sound of her name.

“Who are you?” She whispered as I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering over the pulsing vein in her neck.

“Don’t you remember me?” I breathed, my fingers caressing down over her neck and collarbone. She was warm and sweet in my hands and I could smell the fear coming off of her in waves.

With a jerk, she broke away from me and wheeled, hazel eyes wide. “Angel?” She asked, her scarlet pout opened in surprise. I wanted to laugh. She didn’t know.

“Yes.” I said with a smile. I wanted to enjoy this charade as long as it would last. Perhaps have a little fun with her. I love old friends.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, a smile crossing her shadowed features. She was still beautiful, despite the harshness of her reality. This close to her I could smell other things on her clothes; sexual scents and male sweat.

The May Queen was a whore. Big surprise.

“Oh, I’m always here, there, and everywhere. You been in L.A. long?” My tone was cordial, nice; as if I was her friend. As if I was Angel.

“For about six years. How’s Buffy?” She asked, as if recalling the name brought her great pain. I nearly giggled right there. The girl had no idea what I had done. This was so much fun.

“Oh. She’s…gone. We broke up.” I told her, a sad look in my eyes. Not exactly a lie. That Slayer bitch was gone. Dead and buried.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” A fake smile was plastered to her face and I suddenly remembered the fact that Cordelia and Buffy had never gotten along. I silently shook my head. Children.

“Don’t be. Her loss is your incredible gain.” My words were weighted, my eyes solemn and seductive. If I could get her alone somewhere, I could do things to her. Like fuck her raw and snap her neck. Or perhaps the other way around. I nearly shivered with anticipation.

“Oh really?” She smiled widely, her dull eyes lighting a little bit at my words. For a moment, I missed the seductive innocence she had once possessed. Now she knew things that pretty face shouldn’t and the image I had of her back then was shattered, replaced by reality.

I think I wanted her so much more because of that.

“Oh yes. You want to get something to eat?” I asked her, reaching out a pale hand and pushing her mussed hair from her cheeks. She smiled and nodded and I laughed inside.

***********

When he grabbed me I was terrified and then I heard his voice and I couldn’t mistake if for anyone else’s. And that scared me even more. But I played along with him.

I called him Angel. What a lie.

Angelus can’t hide from me, not when I know him so well. Angel was never that obvious or interested in me. No, Angelus was a whole different animal.

I can’t believe I had asked about Buffy, when I knew exactly what had happened to her. Angelus killed her. And everyone else I had known and cared about. I hated him for it.

But here I was walking hand in hand with him, trying to keep my fear from showing, or the hatred from shining in my eyes. I wondered what he must think of me and I realized I didn’t care. I’m a prostitute and that’s that.

He pulled me, cold, cold hand in my own, down the street. He kept glancing back at me and I smiled widely. I wondered what he had planned for me. Whatever it was, I bet he was going to have fun doing it.

I could have run away from him, I realized, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to see what he’d do, even though I had a feeling I wouldn’t walk away from whatever that was. Truth was, I just didn’t care. I’m so tired of this world and apathy has set in.

There was also this little part of me that remembered how kind Angel was and the times he had saved my life. I truly wanted to believe that he wasn’t a killer. But it was all a glamour; this wasn’t Angel and I couldn’t go back to high school.

So we ate pie in a little greasy spoon. We made small talk. We laughed and inside I cried. At the end of the night he said goodbye and walked away, promising me that we’d do this again. I was confused and terrified. What did he have planned?

He came again the next night and the night after that. Every night for a month we would talk and laugh and make like nothing was wrong with the world. It was like back in Sunnydale and he was Angel. But I knew he wasn’t and while one part of me was terrified, one part of me was falling in love with the man he was pretending to be.

Finally, he asked me home, lust in eyes that even I could see. I said yes. I was tired of playing the game and I wanted it to end and for him to reveal himself.

It didn’t take long to get to his apartment, which was in a rather nice neighborhood. He swung open the door to the loft with gusto and a smile. The place was nice, nicer than the roach motel I lived in and much nicer than my old bedroom at home. For a second I wondered how he could afford to pay rent, but I realized a vampire would probably just kill the landlord if he didn’t have money. I was a little envious, but still scared shitless.

“Nice place.” I said, walking into the room, hips swaying.

“Nice ass.” Angelus said in my ear, hands suddenly tracing the curves of my body. He was cold and warm at the same time and I leaned into him, a smile plastered to my lips.

“I never thought you’d notice.” I responded, which wasn’t a lie. With Buffy around, neither Angel nor Angelus had ever had time for me, something that used to bother me.

“I always noticed you, Cordy. I was just too stupid to say anything.” He whispered, lips grazing my neck. I gulped, wondering if he would do it right there. I waited for the pain, but he didn’t bite me.

Instead he kissed my neck and stepped away, leaving me feeling naked without him draped across my back. He turned on the lights and sat down on a large white sofa and I wondered if it the cushions were bloodstained. He beckoned me over and I sat down, so near to him I doubt air could have passed between us.

“I wouldn’t say stupid. More like blinded by love for the Slayer.” I knew this would be a sore spot even for Angelus. I was pressing my luck and I knew it.

“Love? Yes I suppose I loved her, although I can’t for the life of me imagine why. She was a fool. But you, you have fire. Why didn’t I see it back then?” Angelus answered, his dark eyes hooded as he once again steered the topic back to him and me. I saw his game now.

“If you recall, I was dating Xander back then and not interested in you.” I told him, an ache deep within me rising. I knew what Angelus had done to him. Willow had told me. The last thing I ever heard her say was “Xander’s dead.” I wanted to cry, but I smiled instead.

I wanted to play his game.

“Oh yes. The boy.” His eyes became feral at the thought of Xander. I knew he was thinking about the time he killed him. It must have been a pleasant memory for him because he smiled fondly.

I wanted to throw up.

“I wonder what ever became of him and the rest of the gang. I haven’t heard from them in so long.” I cast a sly glance at him and he smirked. He honestly thought I didn’t know.

Which meant I had the upper hand.

“Don’t know.” His tone was flippant and a bit triumphant as he shrugged and turned to me, that lazy smile on his lips once again. He really was handsome. “You’re very beautiful, you know that?”

“I know.” I smiled at the blatant flattery. He was diverting me from the old gang again and I let him. If he wanted to play, I’d play.

He leaned in, smile loosening its grip on his pale features, hands spread across my knees in a possessive clench. I shifted closer and wrapped my fingers in the velvety folds of his shirt, the muscles under my fingers hard and taunt. He trailed his hands up my thighs, nails plucking at the fishnet like he wanted to rip them off. I silently willed him to as he skimmed the edge of my dress, teasing me with his eyes.

Then he kissed me, hard yet soft at the same time, tongue surprisingly warm as it plundered my mouth. I responded, tightening my grip on him and drawing myself up into his arms. His hands wrapped themselves around my waist, lifting me into his lap with a growl.

To my surprise, he was hard under my crotch. He surged up under me and I had the sudden urge to fuck him. Shame welled up inside of me, but I was used to it; shame was a feeling I had long become familiar with.

As he kissed me, fingers ripping at my garments, I let myself believe that he wasn’t a killer. He was Angel, that nice guy who had dated one of my semi-friends six years ago. He wasn’t evil. He wasn’t a vampire. He wasn’t going to kill me.

I was lying to myself. He was all those things and more and I was going to die before dawn came. Nothing was going to change that and I might as well have fun before it happened. So I decided to fuck him and let go of my world.

***********

Yes, I wanted her. She was breathing and she was familiar and I wanted her. But I was surprised at how much I wanted her. It wasn’t just the fact that she was so naïve; it was that she was…Her.

Cordelia Chase, prom queen, semi-Scooby, Buffy’s social rival and Xander Harris’s bitch. She was innocent in ways she shouldn’t have been. She was a whore and she was soiled and she trusted me, when she should have run the other way.

When I kissed her I tasted all those things on her ruby lips and I felt an urge inside of me I hadn’t had in a long time. Humanity.

Dammit. I thought I’d killed that feeling off a long time ago, but here she was throwing it back into my face. I was disgusted by that want and drawn to it at the same time. She was my humanity and I hated her for it. And I wanted to make love to her for it too. I wanted to get lost in her, to believe I was something I hoped I’d never be again.

I wanted to be Angel for her and it disgusted me. And it drew me into her. That’s why I played the game for so long, dancing around her, testing her. I didn’t know if she wanted what I would give to her. Now I knew. She wanted to play the game.

She surged on my lap, lips working against mine as I tasted her. My fingers tangled in her hair and I pushed her down onto the couch beneath me. I settled between her thighs and smiled.

She moaned as I ripped her clothes off with superhuman strength. I saw her bleeding in places where I was too rough and I licked at the scratches. Her blood was tangy and scented with desire. I growled as she undressed me with the same fervor, buttons popping under her long nails.

I gasped as she lay naked before me, beautiful and tan and sleek as a cat. Her breasts rose and fell as she drew a strangled breath into her lungs. Her eyes were smoky and she was crying. I wondered why for a split second. But she grabbed me and lifted her hips to me, urging me to take her.

“Angelus…” She moaned as I entered her, but I didn’t notice. I was too lost in the moment.

***********

“Angelus…” I moaned the name before I could stop myself. I was beyond caring though. This wasn’t Angel in my mind anymore. Angel could never have done this to me.

And it occurred to me, why was Angelus himself again? How had he lost his soul? The thought was pushed into the back of my mind as he made love to me, surprisingly gentle after he had slashed at my body when he ripped my clothes off.

My whole body was on fire as he surged into me, knocking the breath from my lips with each thrust. He groaned and growled my name and I screamed my needs to him.

And then it happened, he looked into my eyes and his face transformed into that of the beast. I wasn’t scared; in fact I had been expecting it. I just held him to me and pushed his mouth to my own.

His teeth were razor sharp as I pushed my tongue past them, impaling it on them. Blood welled into both our mouths and I moaned as he rocked me harder, his fingers digging into my flesh.

He drew away and moved that feral smile to my neck and I arched against his bloody lips. When he bit me, I felt as if I was on fire everywhere on my body. I came as he slid his fangs into my flesh, blood spilling out as I bucked beneath him. He held on and sucked greedily at my neck, flesh pressed so close I didn’t know where he began and I ended.

He pulled me up against he back of the couch and drank deeper, withdrawing from my body even as his teeth went further inside.

As he drank, I thought it wasn’t so bad a way to die. I was sated and the pain was gone. I wondered where the fear was. In its place was relief. Relief that it was all finally over and I was going to be with my friends again. I was happy.

But the happiness fled as he pulled his fangs from my neck and pressed something wet and warm into my mouth. It was bleeding and I could see it through the haze that had set into mind.

I realized it was his cock as I drank, his blood surging into my system, destroying all that was me and all that had happened to me. I sucked at the wound, at him, as he held onto my head. Finally he pulled out of my mouth and held me close to him.

I passed into darkness with his name on my lips. “Angelus…”

***********

Angelus. She knew I wasn’t Angel. She knew the whole time and she never let on. For a whole month she kept it from me. She played my game and she knew the outcome and she didn’t try to win.

She’s dead. I killed the May Queen and I made her drink.

I look down at her, her hazel eyes glazed over, the lungs beneath her bare breasts still and her neck bloody and torn. She’s not the girl I once knew and I don’t think she ever was. She’s full of surprises and twists that I never knew she had.

Its been a long time since I’ve had someone beside me. Not since Drusilla have I made another like me, one whom I could teach and corrupt. Cordelia is the next one and I think she wanted me to do it.

When she wakes up I’m going to tell her the story of how I came back. How Buffy released me again and how I killed her and all her pathetic little friends.

Somehow I think she knows that part. I wonder how she’ll be with a demon inside her. She won’t be the same and I love her more for it. She can be beside me and I can still hide and cherish that little piece of humanity she brings to me. I can be Angel for her when she needs it.

Slowly, I place her hands atop her chest in a state of repose. I close her eyes and wait for Cordelia Chase to wake up.

And I can’t help but smile in anticipation.

End.