Title: Soldiers of Destiny
Author: runeknight
Date: 9-01-2005
Rating: PG for now
Email: mordenaj@truman.navy.mil
Category: C/A
Genre: Crossover Angel / BTVS
Spoilers: Angel season 4 Buffy season 7
Summary: Cordy is in a coma can the gang rescue her in time and will their guest be able to help.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt created the characters in the Angelverse. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.
Distribution: FSB, AO, ST if anywhere else please just let me know!
Feedback: Yes please!
A/N: Holtz never took Connor through the portal. Cordy left Groo on her vaction (will explain) she also refused to become a higher being but did not make it to the bluffs before morning so no confessions have been made.
A/N2: Thanks to Shal for beta and Lea for the help with writing you’re the best
A/N3: Thanks to Lea for the help with writing you’re the best
Part 9
Spike barreled across Angel’s room and ripped the dark haired vampire’s broad body off Cordelia seconds before he could bite into the seer’s neck.
“Spike huh what’s going on?” Cordelia asked everything had happened so fast first she had her hand on Angel’s shoulder and now she was against the wall with Spike sitting on top of a struggling albeit somewhat insane Angel.
“He was going to kill you chit but what I don’t get is why aren’t you scared?” Spike asked sensing no fear in the room as he concentrated on keeping Angel down. He knew if Angel really wanted to get up he would have trouble keeping the older and larger vampire down. He just hoped that if needed Buffy would come here and help him keep her ex-boyfriend in line until they figured out what was going on.
“Pffft I haven’t been afraid of Angel in years, I know he would never hurt me,” answered the former cheerleader with a wave of her hand dismissing it without a second thought.
“Well in case you hadn’t noticed our great poof isn’t exactly his old poofy self now is he,” replied Spike sarcasm dripping of every word.
“His name is Angel, use it!” Replied Cordy anger starting to well up at the blonde vampire.
“We’ll get into that later, you should go downstairs,” Spike said annoyed at the cheerleaders outburst. He rushed into here thinking that she needed to be saved from Angel and not even a thank you.
“I’m not leaving him,” Cordelia spat out in sheer determination and stubbornness. She couldn’t leave him; he was like this because of her.
“Look, I know you don’t trust me and I understand that even if the Scoobies don’t, they don’t know about my trip here to LA but you are going to go downstairs and get something to eat and talk with your friends. You’ve been out cold for 3 days. I’m not going to let me old grandsire here hurt you or himself so don’t worry. I’m going to tie him up until he calms down and then you can come back up ok,” Spike dolled in an no argument voice as he stared at Cordelia with a steel blue gaze that dared here to say otherwise.
“Okay but I will be back,” Cordy replied as she exited the room refusing to give Spike the satisfaction of getting the last word in. Once her back was to Spike she smiled, after this was sorted out she would thank him, but she couldn’t let the blonde vampire think that he had the upper hand, she never let Angel and she wasn’t going to start with Spike
“How do you put up with her,” Spike said to an unresponsive Angel as Cordelia exited the room as he began to tie Angel to the chair that was present in the room. But he was jealous the two of them cared about each other so much that they would do anything to make sure that the other was safe, who was he kidding all of Angel Investigations were like that no matter what had happened, what arguments they had with each other if one of them was hurting or in pain they all would drop everything to help, and wouldn’t give up. He wished he had that in his life.
*****
Cordy slowly descended the stairs taking deep breaths to calm her nerves she had not seen these people in a while, not since she had left Sunnydale and Willow well she was the only one she had actually seen and spoken on the phone with.
Willow was still being fussed over by Giles but when they heard a cough they all turned to look at the stairs. The witch smiled got to her feet and rushed over hugging her. Cordy was a little shocked but it only took her a second before she hugged her back.
“I’m sorry about Angel Cordelia, if I…”Willow stuttered.
“Hey it’s not your fault.” She told the red head
Buffy stood by the counter a frown on her face; she was trying to see what was so different about the woman standing in front of her and the bitch of a girl she went to school with. How had she changed? What made her so special that she had everyone her desperate to help her?
Fred had tears in her eyes and she waited for Willow to move and as soon as Cordy’s arms were free she ran into them holding her tight afraid that this was a dream and when she woke up that Cordy was still going to be in her coma.
The next thing Cordy knew she was hugging Fred and then two pairs of strong arms held her and she knew it was Wes and Gunn. Tears rolled down her cheeks as 3 members of her family surrounded her.
Xander watched Buffy’s searching look as she looked at Cordelia but she wouldn’t see the differences because Buffy saw only what she wanted to see. The differences were easy to see when you looked. Cordy’s eyes were darker and held more knowledge and pain but still held the fire of life as well, her posture was no longer stiff and rigid like that of the ice queen it was more open and caring like she no longer cared what people thought. Her beauty well she was always beautiful no doubt about that but apparently Cordelia’s beauty was like a good wine just gets better with age because no words could describe the beautiful woman he was looking at. Xander was in utter awe and felt a hint of jealousy that Angel was the one that got to see the transformation.
Cordelia pried herself loose from her families hug and glanced around the room taking in everything. She saw Buffy’s searching gaze and knew she would eventually have to talk to the slayer but now was not the time she wasn’t in the mood for a fight. Cordelia caught Willow’s shy look and Giles twinkling eyes and she knew questions were going to be asked soon. Lastly she saw her ex-boyfriends admiring look and she flashed him one of her signature smiles and giggled when he suddenly blinked like he didn’t know what was going on.
Xander’s heart skipped as he saw that smile break across Cordelia’s face he couldn’t believe he never bothered to see this side of his ex-girlfriend. It was his own fault really he surmised, she always came third in his list of women even when he was dating her. He just wanted the rights to say he was dating the most beautiful girl in school and then he went and ruined any chance he might have had to get to know her when he went lusting after Willow.
“Hey what’s wrong?” Cordy asked as she saw the dark look cross Xander’s features.
“Nothing, just memories,” Xander answered surprised that he didn’t catch her approach.
“Anya,” assumed Cordelia.
“No, you actually,” Xander said apologetically. Remembering the night that he probably gave Cordleia one of her own worst possible memories.
“Oh, I thought we were over that,” Cordelia answered as a flash of hurt crossed her eyes and just as quickly disappeared as she remembered that night.
“I know it’s just,” Xander bumbled not knowing how to respond.
“Hey don’t worry about years in the past I’m good,” Cordelia interrupted before she followed Willow into the kitchen she was hungry and she wanted to talk to Willow as well so why not do both she figured.
**
Willow searched the fridge and pantries looking for something to eat not noticing that someone else had entered the kitchen as well.
“Hey Will whatcha looking for,” piped Cordy as she entered the kitchen.
“Holy… sweet goddess don’t do that,” Willow jumped as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest.
“Sorry,” Cordelia giggled as she wondered if that’s how she looked when Angel snuck up on her. But it was fun to be able to do it to someone else and it was a lot of fun, she wondered if that is one of the reasons why Angel did it.
“It’s ok…um do you think…um maybe we could …talk?” Willow asked nervously her trip into Cordelia’s mind gave her more than a cracked skull and a sore back. It gave her few memories that weren’t hers.
“Sure what about,” Cordy answered nonchalantly as she pulled peanut butter out of the pantry determined to make herself a sandwich to shut her stomach up.
“About your memories that are stuck in my head,” Willow said with a bravery that wasn’t common to her nature but somehow it was so easy to talk to this Cordelia.
“Oh boy,” Cordelia replied as she plopped herself down on a chair and waited to hear what memories Willow got stuck with. Hoping that she didn’t get the night of the ballet.
“You can say that again me Willow Rosenberg witch extraordinaire with a side of Cordelia Chase half demon seer is wiggy even by our standards but at least the memories are fading,” Willow smiled as she tried to get Cordy to lighten up a little at her confession.
“Yeah no kidding so what ya got of me,” Cordy asked with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.
“Well I got a bunch of ‘em but they’re all jumbled only got a couple I can make out. One is about clothes and a great happy feeling and the other is in a dark, dirty alley in the rain,” Willow replied not really knowing what to expect.
A smile crept on Cordelia’s face as she remembered the day Angel bought her the Versace fall line. “Well the clothes weren’t the happy part of that memory don’t get me wrong love the clothes it’s just that was a peacemaker between me and Angel. The story is Angel went through a dark time so to speak did some things we’re not to proud of and I was mad at him, no longer considered him my friend. So to break through Angel bought me clothes. It wasn’t the clothes that did the job though it was the fact that Angel went shopping for me, he would rather go to hell then go shopping and that’s saying something since he’s actually been to hell but he did it for me,” Cordelia said explaining that memory.
Willow was in awe as she asked about the next memory “and the alley?”
“That was where Connor was born you should of seen it Will the look on Angel’s face he was so happy and so scared at the same time. Happy that he’s a father that he gets something that thought he would never get and so scared about not knowing what to do,” Cordelia explained leaving out the details about Holtz and Darla.
“Wow,” was all Willow could say as she watched Cordy finish off her third sandwich and enter the lobby.
*****
“Wesley,” Buffy asked as she approached the ex-watcher who was standing near the doors that led to the garden.
“What is Buffy?” Answered the rogue demon hunter.
“I’m beginning to accept that Angel and Cordelia have some sort of relationship but I wanna know how deep it goes you guys make it sound like their married or something,” Buffy replied hoping he would answer her question.
“As you know Angel is a vampire and as a vampire he’s very possessive over certain things like women,” Wesley started, as he looked at the slayer “he was possessive over you in Sunnydale and when you broke up and he moved here he transferred that to Cordelia, only it’s grown to something more.” Wesley sighed as he saw the confused look on the blondes face “In Sunnydale Angel had to force his demon to help you in a fight Buffy with Cordelia Angel has to hold his demon back from killing everything in sight until the danger is gone.”
“Ok what else,” Buffy said with a hint of jealousy.
“Did you know that Angel is rather chatty…no guess not,” Wesley said as he saw Buffy’s disbelieving look “well he is sure only Cordelia can get him to talk but when he does he doesn’t shut up. I remember watching them sit out there in the garden and talk and laugh with each other from sunset to sunrise and when I asked about what they talked about neither one remembered they were happy to be together and talk. Cordelia knows Angel better then he knows himself sometimes,” Wesley finished but knew he would have to tell more the slayer had a curious look in her eyes.
“Look over there on Cordy’s desk you’ll see three pictures one of Angel wearing the ring of amarra at sunset. She says one day that will come and she’ll be there to watch. Another one is of her, Angel, and Connor. Angel and Connor are the two most important people in her life. The last one is the night she got Angel to take her down to the promenade she actually got him to have fun and let loose a little,” Wesley continued hoping it would be enough. His hopes weren’t answered.
“What else,” Buffy asked again with a mischievous light in her eyes she was having fun making Wesley squirm.
“As you probably know Angel doesn’t understand people all that well and Cordy is defiantly not of the normal variety. So Angel doesn’t understand anything Cordelia does 90 percent of the time but he accepts her anyway and she loves him for it. But do you know why he accepts her, I do, I once asked him why he accepts Cordelia and puts up with her rants and fits. Do you know what he said, he said because she’s Cordelia that was all he wanted, he doesn’t care for her visions, he doesn’t care about her fits he likes Cordy the way she is that’s all he wants, its all he needs is just plain ol’ Cordy,” Wesley finished as he walked away from the slayer leaving her dumbfounded.
Unbeknownst to Wes and Buffy a certain seer overheard the entire conversation and her heart filled with love for a certain vampire. Cordelia knew Angel didn’t understand everything she did but he let her do it anyway but she never knew why. The fact that Angel just wanted her around visions or no visions filled her with such warmth it scared her.
*****
Cordelia approached the back garden where Buffy sat with her elbows propped on her knees and her chin in the palm of her hands. Cordy wasn’t looking forward to the conversation but it had to be done sometime.
“Hey Buffy,” Cordelia greeted as she sat down next to the slayer.
“Hi,” the slayer replied.
“So,” Cordy dolled not knowing how to start this conversation.
“Do you love him?” Buffy asked suddenly wanting to know the truth.
“What?” The seer questioned surprised.
“I’m not doing this to interfere Cordelia. I just need to know for me so I can truly move on, I know its selfish but I’ve always felt guilty that I would be able to move on and he couldn’t. But now he has and I need to know if you love him in return,” Buffy answered hoping the answer would be what she knew it was and it would be such a relief to unburden the guilt she never knew she had until Wesley and Willow jumped into her when she was being whiney and bitchy. She always thought she would never lose Angel and they would be together but the truth was she had moved on Angel was special to her yeah but it was the guilt that brought her back not the love.
“Yes Buffy I love him with everything that I am but why do you need to know?” Questioned Cordy answering Buffy but also asking a question of her own.
“I’ve come to a realization about mine and Angel’s relationship. Everyone always thought we had the big forever love, hell I thought we had the big forever love but we didn’t. Our love was a wildfire it burned fast and hard but the thing about those type of fires is they burn out,” Buffy answered feeling a huge relief come of her shoulders now that she knew that Angel was loved.
“That’s nice Buffy it really is but it’s not like me and Angel can ever do anything about how we feel how about each other,” Cordelia said bitterly as she thought about the curse.
“Oh, right the curse,” Buffy sighed sadly. Her heart reaching out to the woman next to her.
“Isn’t a problem,” Wesley interrupted from the doorway. He overheard the last part of the conversation and decided to interrupt.
“WHAT!!!” screamed Buffy and Cordelia in unison surprise evident in their features?
“Look I’m not going to tell you the details that’s for Angel to tell all I’m going to tell you is Angel hasn’t told anybody yet so don’t get that upset. I found out on my own from the upper management so to speak. Just know that Angel’s soul is bound,” Wesley finished as he disappeared back into the hotel to stop any questions that would have come up.
“That’s great no more Angelus,” squeaked an excited Buffy. She meant what she said she wasn’t going to interfere she truly had moved on she was happy for Cordelia.
“Wrong,” snapped an irritated Cordy. She was upset at Angel for not telling her but also upset at Buffy’s assumption that Angel and Angelus are a different person.
“What to you mean?” Questioned Buffy an incredulous look glinted in her eyes.
“Angel and Angelus aren’t different people Buffy. Angel is Angelus; Angelus is Angel the soul doesn’t change who he is it just gives him a choice. He still has the urge to hunt, maim, kill, torture, and all the other vampire thoughts and desires but with the soul he can choose to ignore them which he does most of the time. The two different people is how you justified his actions to yourself Buffy, Angel just never bothered to correct you,” Cordelia said explaining it just the way Angel explained it to her.
“I know,” Buffy, replied as her shoulders slumped as she remembered back to when Angelus terrorized Sunnydale.
“Huh,” Cordelia said dumbfounded.
“Spike told me. I’m a bit more open minded now; I just meant Angel couldn’t lose his soul now except of course by the magic mojo thing. You’d have to ask Willow or Spike on details I quit paying attention during the lecture,” Buffy replied explaining as best she could. Spike had told her that he couldn’t lose his soul he had no curse but it could still be taken by magic. He said a soul isn’t natural to a vampire’s physiology so a simple soul removal spell could take his soul rather easily.
“Well then you know that I don’t just love the soul or the demon that I love both equally, I love the demon for the fire and passion he brings and the soul for loving responsibility and trustworthiness,” Cordelia said declaring her love for Angel in every sense of the word.
“Yes I know that just like I know that’s the reason me and Angel would never work I was never able to accept his demon the way you do and I never will because of what he did to me without his soul. I know it’s petty but it’s also true. I never believed a demon was capable of love until I knew about Spikes so I never accepted Angel’s demon side I always shied away from him when it was close.” Buffy said explaining her take on her and Angel’s relationship. Angel and Buffy’s relationship is the only thing Cordelia didn’t really know about because she was too afraid and jealous to ask.
“Huh,” Cordelia muttered confused by Buffy’s acceptance and openness.
“Look the reason Angelus did what he did was because he hated me. Angel’s soul loved me but his demon hated me it considered me weak,” Buffy explained with knowledge that Cordelia didn’t know she had.
“But you’re the slayer your like super girl or something,” Cordelia replied with honesty.
“Not that kind of strength,” Buffy chuckled as she continued, “Angel’s demon considered me weak because I shied away every time it came to the surface. It’s also the part of the reason Angel’s demon loves you as much as his soul. A demon’s love is different than a human’s, a demon only loves those it considers its equals or betters. I don’t know why I guess it’s a dominance thing. The demon wants someone who doesn’t back away someone who will not back down, someone who will go toe to toe with it even if it’s dangerous. That’s exactly what you do if what Wes told me is true,” Buffy stated relieved to be getting all of her unreleased feelings and fears out in the open.
“Wow cool,” Cordelia sighed understanding Angel more with this conversation with Buffy than any conversation she’s ever had with him. Cordelia knew that her acceptance of Angel made him happy and unafraid to let his feelings go but she never knew that her challenge, her resolve to never back down from him even when he was all ‘grry’ and vampy would make him love her completely it gave her a surreal feeling when she thought about it.
“Isn’t it but enough chat for now we have more important things to do,” Buffy said in a surprisingly chipper voice as she bounded back into the hotel.
“Your right we do like right now I have get my stupid overprotective and currently loony vampire something to eat because if I’ve been out for three days then that means my vampire was being all growly and protective and didn’t eat anything,” Cordelia replied as she followed Buffy and heated Angel some blood before she disappeared upstairs.
Part 10
“Kinda possessive isn’t she,” Buffy said as Cordelia disappeared upstairs.
“Oh yeah I mean she’s very jealous and possessive over Angel you should have seen it when she found out he slept with Darla she was so mad at him. She acted like he cheated on her but then Darla tried to kill Cordy and Angel was going to rip her apart but Cordy stopped him. She was worried about the baby you see. Then when she found out Angel was with the Furies she was jealous and upset in her own way, the weird thing is I don’t know why, I mean Angel was with the Furies before Cordy’s grandparents were even born. Oh and last week we were on a case and Angel had to take Cordy to a club, I mean he could’ve took me of course but I knew he would choose Cordy, he always does when he needs a female partner for a case, anyway as I was saying they were going through the club and the women were checking Angel out I mean he is a hottie and all as Cordy would say,” Fred rambled as she answered Buffy’s remark
“Hey,” Gunn interrupted trying to sound insulted by his girlfriend’s remark. He wasn’t though, he knew Angel was a good-looking undead guy and he had that dark mysterious thing for him as well.
“Oh it’s all right Gunn your good-looking too but as I was saying the women were checking out Angel and Cordy was shootin ‘em all looks that said that’s right girls he’s all mine. Then later when the girls in the club wouldn’t stop staring at him her look got all possessive and scary followed by the quit staring or die look,” Fred finished out of breath as she blushed when she saw the looks she was getting.
“Oh I know that last one,” Xander quipped having been a victim of many of Cordelia’s glares.
“You do,” questioned Gunn knowing that Cordelia’s glares can be very frightening having been on the receiving end of a couple. He felt sorry for Angel since the vampire usually got at least one of Cordy’s infamous glares at least once a day and he would apologise for anything even if he hadn’t done anything wrong, it was quite funny really.
“Oh yeah that’s the one where she strips your skin of one layer at a time it was kind of a thing we had going,” Xander answered nonchalantly remembering the good old days at Sunnydale High.
“Yep the Xander and Cordelia we hate each other show,” Buffy chimed in.
“Followed by the Xander and Cordelia grope fest in closets and then back to we hate each other,” Willow finished remembering the awkward friendship Cordy and Xander had.
“Ahhmmmm I think that’s enough of a history lesson for now,” Giles got in as he polished his glasses.
“Yes it is and to answer your question Buffy, yes Cordelia is possessive over Angel has been for a long time and it’s only gotten worse so to speak when she became part demon,” Wesley interjected remembering what he heard of Cordy and Xander’s relationship on his short stay in Sunnyhell.
“Isn’t that a bad thing like being a stalker or something,” Questioned Dawn confused to the conversation she had just witnessed.
“Depends on the situation Dawn being possessive over certain things is natural to a demons behavior. Angel is a vampire and vampires are very territorial over things they consider theirs and Cordelia belongs to Angel, so to speak, she is his seer. Angel also belongs to Cordelia as well since he is her champion we haven’t figured out what type of demon Cordy is but we figure it is territorial as well because ever since her transformation she has been openly possessive over Angel. The weird thing is that Angel doesn’t mind,” Wesley said answering the teenager’s question.
*****
Cordelia approached Angel’s room her nerves running rampant. Fear, love, confusion and an underlying rage were all mixed in at her champion’s condition. As she entered the room she was surprised to see that Spike had untied Angel and had let him roam around the room.
“Spike what happened to tying him up,” Cordelia questioned as she set the blood on the end table near the bed. She was happy that Angel wasn’t shackled to the chair but she was still curious.
“Well he calmed down quite a bit since you left so I saw no reason to keep him tied up especially after whatever he’s been through being free to move should help him,” Spike answered knowing that being unable to run in the process of torture was one of the main reasons people broke because there was no escape.
“Oh, ok I want to be alone with him please,” Cordelia, said
Spike eyed her nervously a thousand reasons why she shouldn’t be left alone ran through his mind. Cordelia saw the uncertainty on his face; she walked over to him and touched him on the shoulder gently. The blonde vampire turned to her and he could see all her emotions run through those hazel orbs, yes there were a thousand reasons why he shouldn’t leave her alone, but the look in her eyes was the reason he should.
“Ok but I will be just outside if you need me just call?” He told her sincerely she nodded in agreement and Spike knew that if anything happened to her and Angel came out of it Spike would be begging Angel to stake him that is if the rest of the members of Angel Investigation didn’t get to him first.
Cordy stood their and watched him leave, she breathed deeply and turned to her vampire, she wiped away the tears that had managed to escape the confines of her eyes and walked over to Angel.
“Angel.” She whispered and slowly took one step at a time trying not to scare him but as she got closer and closer he started to panic, his eyes were wide, he paced from side to side but there was no escape.
Cordelia was finally standing in front of him and she reached out a hand and laid a finger on his face, Angel’s head flung back and he roared he raised his hand and without thinking, he was just protecting himself, he used his strength and hit her across the face. The brunette cried as she was flung across the room and slammed into the wall beside the door.
Angel’s back hit the wall and he slid down it until he was in one corner mumbling to himself, shaking. “She’s gone, she’s gone, she’s gone.” He mumbled over and over again.
Spike opened the door and stared at her on the floor. Cordelia shook her head indicating that he should leave again.
“You know he doesn’t deserve you cheerleader,” Spike said refusing to leave just yet.
“Damn straight he doesn’t,” Cordy replied with a small smile.
“Huh,” Spike huffed not expecting that answer.
“He doesn’t deserve me Spike he earned me now leave,” Cordelia brooked in blunt honesty and a no argument tone.
The blonde vampire was not happy about this but he left when she glared at him, it was her head she was risking. He closed the door but stood close by if anything happened like that again he was going to drag her out kicking and screaming.
Cordelia turned back to Angel and once again made a very slow trip across the room to the shaking and terrified vampire.
Angel closed his eyes as Cordelia picked herself up off the floor. He could no longer trust his eyes Cordelia was dead he killed her this was just another illusion. Angel let his senses drift refusing to believe this nightmare, refusing to open his eyes and see the woman he would kill again.
“Angel look at me, open your eyes please,” pleaded Cordy as she knelt in front of the vampire and cupped his face in her hands.
Angel slowly opened his eyes to look at the pleading woman. He was just too tired to fight anymore this Cordelia was still alive he hadn’t failed her, hadn’t killed her yet so just maybe she was real.
Cordelia’s heart sank into despair as she looked into the deep brown eyes of the vampire she loved. The liquid pools of chocolate that once showed so much emotion were dead the light she had gotten so used to seeing was gone, there was nothing there like Angel decided to go for a walk and leave his body behind.
Angel blinked as his senses caught a demonic smell radiate off the beautiful woman in front of him. He remembered his Cordelia was part demon and not completely human like the ones he failed or killed.
“Come on baby, come back to me I need you,” Cordy said unaware of the endearment she unconsciously added as she saw a flicker of light shine in Angel’s eyes before it faded again.
Angel’s thoughts drifted unmercifully as the woman touching his face was too close, she smelled too familiar to the death’s he had caused. Too weak and unable to control his vampire instincts Angel’s demon came forth as he pounced on Cordelia tackling her to the floor as he straddled her hips and brought his face within centimeters of hers. Angel stared into the eyes of the woman beneath him his demonic amber eyes never blinking betraying no emotion as the cool hazel eyes stared back full of life and love no hint of fear or panic and only a trace of underlying rage and desperation.
Cordelia stared into the deep pools of amber trying to gage if there was any emotion in the heart wrenching lifeless eyes she had witnessed earlier. Cordelia unwilling to accept the fact that her vampire was gone did the only thing she could think of and reached up and dragged Angel’s face down as she watched as his face completely changed into the demon, the face of her Angel was gone so were the brown eyes she loved so much and she was now staring into the yellow eyes of a vampire, but to her it was still Angel and then she kissed him ferociously oblivious to the cuts that the vampire’s fangs were producing on the inside of her lips and tongue as her blood flowed freely between the connecting mouths. Cordelia willing the vampire to remember who he was, needing him to remember her deepened the kiss pouring all of her raging emotions into it as the vampire started viciously kissing back. The need came crashing through their bodies, their desperation, every memory, and every single piece of pain, everything they were in that kiss. They had nearly lost each other too many times before.
Angel growled deep with in his chest, he needed to control her, to own and possess her. She was his achilles heel and he hated feeling weak when it came to her, the demon raged inside but no matter what he couldn’t let her go, he owned her, she was as much a part of him as the soul or the demon was. He hated this need but at the moment was too weak to fight against it as his soul was buried in the recesses of his mind and demon. Angel pushed against her hard his tongue sliding along her lips and then entering her mouth once again he needed to taste every inch of that cavern.
Cordy could feel her mouth being ravaged; it also seemed that his hands were everywhere. He was all over her it also felt as if he had entered her entire being through every cell in her body. A rumble came from her chest as he tried to take more control, MINE her mind screamed as she managed to flip him onto his back and she assaulted his mouth, both of their senses were filled with each other, the coppery tang of blood were in their mouths as they both attacked each other, neither giving an inch.
Angel grabbed her hair and he managed to flip them again so he was on top, he was the one in charge the demon screamed. He placed his entire wait on her so she could barely move, his muscular frame held down her feminine one. Cordy dug her nails into his shoulders, he pulled his mouth away from hers and roared and with that one small movement Cordy was able to move her legs so they were wrapped around his waist and she grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him down for another kiss.
*****
“Hey Wesley,” Willow asked with a curious glint in her eyes.
“”What is it Willow?” Answered Wesley warily he had answered enough questions already but more seemed to be flying at him no matter what he did.
“We, as in you know all of us, would like to you know um…. hear about…Cordelia’s change in personality, if of course you don’t mind that is,” Willow rambled nervously.
“Really,” Wesley replied amusement twinkling in his eyes. Some people really never change he thought to himself. They just didn’t understand and he wasn’t sure if he could help them some people no matter what you told them would still believe in what they used to know.
“Yes, well that is of course if you want,” Giles remarked hoping his once colleague would answer the question.
“I will tell you about what I’ve witnessed and what Angel’s told me but that’s all I can give you,” Wesley answered a little annoyed but understanding why they wanted to know. “The rest you would have to ask Angel and of course Cordelia herself.”
“That’s fine Wes we just don’t want to make any assumptions when we finally get to talk to her without the dramatics we have right now,” Buffy said as she plopped herself up on the lobby desk.
“Well from what I got from Angel was when Cordelia first started working here she was still Queen C, she wasn’t quite as bitchy but she was still there in full force. An answer for everything shoes, clothes you know the usual.” Wes told them with a laugh. “ It wasn’t until after their friend Doyle died that she started to truly change I wasn’t here then but I know that incident made Cordelia start to open up to Angel. I say that because when I came into their lives they were close and when I questioned Cordelia about Angel on an incident that was happening around town that matched his Angelus days she was rather upset at me and was going to throw me out if Angel didn’t stop her and straighten everything out. But her true change to the woman you’ve all glimpsed today started when she was hospitalized with non-stop visions. She saw and felt all the pain and horror in the world that is nothing that you or I, something even Angel cannot fully grasp. It was that day she let her walls around her heart crumble. I don’t know if you’ve realized this yet or not but Queen C was just an act Cordelia played to protect herself and her heart. Only Angel really knows about her past, as he’s the only one she’s let in completely, she keeps everyone else out of that place. Angel doesn’t realize it just yet but he is the only one that can utterly and truly hurt Cordelia. I know that doesn’t explain all of her change but the rest comes from the visions, I told you the visions have changed her and its not because she gets the visions or that she feels all the pain and emotions in the visions its also because of the fact that she can remember every single vision she’s ever gotten just like Angel can remember in detail every victim he’s ever killed. It was because of that she realized she needed friends that she didn’t want to be alone anymore.” Wesley spieled remembering as he watched a spoiled girl turn into open and caring woman.
“You mean Queen C was just an act,” Xander questioned.
“Yes, Xander it was just an act something happened to her in Sunnydale that caused her to close her heart to build up walls around her emotions. Angel tore those walls down just like Cordelia tore his down. We are lucky enough here to be close to her but we still don’t see everything that Angel saw and it took a while for her to trust him again but she did. Her friendship and acceptance means more to him than anything; we forgave him but when she told him that they weren’t friends that was all he could think about, when she was dragged into the other dimension he followed because he couldn’t bare not to have her around. Back in Sunnydale, yes she did moan and complain but she put her life more on line than any of you did she was ‘bait girl’ as she called it. She trusted all of you to protect her when she was put into dangerous situations did you ever think of that? I don’t know if you will understand who she truly is. Because Angel couldn’t go outside in the sun she placed a lot of plastic flowers in the basement to show him what he’s fighting for, when I, or anyone else has a problem she is the one we go to for advice. She may be brutally blunt at times but she does care and as long as her family is happy, as long as we are happy than that is what counts but if any of us are hurt or in pain she will lead the charge to make that person or that group of people pay. As Fred once said she is our heart and without her we die,” Wesley answered remembering how close Cordelia and Angel really are.
As the Scoobies listened intently to Wesely’s explanation their eyes widened in horror at what they put Cordelia through when they used her as bait they never considered the consequences of what might of happened to her if Buffy and the gang didn’t get their in time to protect her and if anything had happened it would have been their fault but they had never looked at it that way, they only thought of her as a pain, someone that just got in the way.
Giles closed his eyes in shame when he thought of what Wesley said about Cordelia’s stint with the Scoobies. He always put Buffy first in his thoughts that he never considered the danger he willingly put his other charges through, never thought of the danger that Cordelia willingly let herself be put into because no matter how much she moaned and bitched she trusted them to save her when the time came.
Giles and the Scoobies closed their eyes in contemplation and Wesley could of sworn he heard gears shifting in their heads as their view of Cordelia slowly changed as they remembered everything she did in Sunnydale instead of focusing on what she said and the way she acted.
Part 11
“So now that our history lessons are done who’s hungry,” Dawn asked as her stomach rumbled.
“DAWN,” snapped Buffy at her sister’s lack of consideration for the conversation that just happened.
“What I’m hungry and I’ve always liked Cordelia so I see no reason to change my opinion of her,” Dawn retorted with teenage audacity.
“So who’s up for tacos,” Fred interrupted tired of all the arguing and explaining that was going on today. It was there own fault if they never took time to get to know the Cordy she did, the one she looked to for advice, the one she loved.
“I was really hoping for some LA pizza and nightlife myself,” Xander got in hoping someone would agree with him. He just needed to get out of this hotel, too much had happened in such a short space of time and he was starting to get claustrophobic.
“Hey pizza sounds good to me sorry girl, little tired of tacos,” Gunn said as he caught Fred’s hurt look.
“Taco pizza,” Fred snapped hoping to come to a compromise. She was tired and worried about her friends, her family first Cordy and now Angel. Fred hoped that things would work out for the best. What would they do if they lost either one of them or even both? She dared to not follow that train of thought.
“Taco pizza it is then so where should we go,” Wesley snipped agreeing to the compromise and hoping to get out of the hotel for a while just like everyone else.
“How bout Marcos its close, its good, and it won’t cause us to go broke,” Gunn answered as he grabbed the keys to his baby.
“Lorne would you?” Fred asked as she held Connor out toward him.
“Sure thing Fredikins but you guys owe me,” Lorne smiled as he took his favorite baby and started singing to him.
“You’re the best Lorne,” Fred squealed as she placed a light kiss on his cheek before bouncing out the door.
The Scoobies watched the scene in amazement and awe as they watched the family dynamic take place and the way Fred kissed a demon as if he were a brother, the way they trusted each other with Angel’s son. That was the main thing that they couldn’t get over Angel, as in the vampire with a soul had a son, with Darla one that he had staked years ago talk about a soap opera. The closeness and bond they seemed to have also made the Scoobies a little jealous that they never bothered to try and get that close themselves. With a new resolve to just do that when they got home they followed the AI team out of the hotel hoping to make some new friends tonight.
*****
Cordelia thoughts were meandering in and out of her head as she realized that she was ravishing her best friend who at the moment was a little insane and lost. As Angel’s lifeless yellow eyes stared at her with lust and want, she knew that the act she was about to engage in was much darker than a person would willingly accept. Cordelia had no such qualms as she consciously made the choice to deal with the guilt of her actions later this is something she needed to do as much as she had to breath, she tightened her legs around his waist and dragged his face back towards hers as she shifted her weight trying to get the vampire to put her on the bed.
The demon in Angel was so in control right now it easily beat down the soul’s attempt to reassert itself as he easily picked up the woman and violently threw her on to the bed as he pounced on top of her.
A feral feminine growl ripped from Cordelia’s throat at the loss of Angel’s lips. As she saw the battle raging behind the eyes of the vampire Cordelia having fully giving in to her dark desire and demon instincs took matters into her own hands as she lunged at him and pushing him beneath her she bit violently down on Angel’s bottom lip drawing blood and then she started to decimate his lips again but it wasn’t enough she wanted to feel his cool flesh under her hands, she wanted to feel the taught muscles as she ran her fingers and mouth all over him. Cordelia’s hands had a mind of their own they followed the wish of her mind as they ripped Angel’s shirt off sending buttons flying across the room in her need to have her nails drag across his cool muscle taut flesh. Angel groaned at the feel of that light pain across his body.
In a frantic push of need and desire Angel ripped the clothes off of the nubile body above him and he slowly dragged his fangs between the valley of her breasts but the demon wanted more so he flipped her over and continued his journey with his fangs that ended in the middle of her shapely stomach drawing two slowly running rivers of blood that ran down her body and pooled in her navel. Ignoring the urge to lap up the blood in an enticing lick up Cordelia’s lust filled body he moved his muscular frame back up hers and forcing her arms above her head in a bruising grip and once again plundered the cavern of her mouth. The taste of her was perfect, he would never get enough of her he knew that he was going to be addicted to her taste and nothing else would satisfy him.
Angel's mouth moved with urgency, kissing, tasting, and swallowing he was like a starving man in a desert and she was his oasis. There had to be a way to take Cordelia fully into his body, to keep her there with him always. He wanted to be a part of her not knowing where his body stopped and hers began, they were like 2 pieces of a jigsaw puzzle ugly by themselves but a masterpiece together. In frenzy, Angel grabbed at the rest of his clothes ripping them away. He had to feel her warm ALIVE flesh up against his, skin to skin, hard muscles against soft curves, man against woman.
Cordelia moaned clutching on and brutally biting Angel’s shoulders drawing blood as he thrust into her with one push, there was nothing tender in it, there was no foreplay, they needed each other with such brutality it was animalistic and the demon in Angel needed to claim her to her very core. Her long legs tightened around his waist she wanted him deeper, harder and faster, her hips jerking closer trying to take more of him in her, it wasn’t enough, she wanted their bodies to become one, her inner walls squeezing around his throbbing shaft as Angel pounded into her over and over again, her body doing everything to keep the vampire inside of her, bringing him even deeper as deep as he could possible go.
Angel growled wanting to move faster, burrow deeper, he wanted to be buried in her, he clutched tighter in a desperate need to make this real and forever. He let go of her wrists and grabbed hold of her waist he was pounding into her so hard if didn’t have a tight grip on her Cordy’s head would be banging into the wall with such force that it would knock her out.
Cordelia’s nails pierced into the hard muscles of his shoulders as they tensed and strained above her as his body pounded into hers, he was using some of his vampiric strength to go harder, it was pain and pleasure all at the same time, the demon in her screamed with want, with desire and lust, it still wasn’t enough she wanted it harder and faster, Cordy wanted more, it was never going to be enough. She wanted to run her hands all over the cool skin but she had to hold on she wanted to trace every muscle of his body, she wanted to scratch each one with her nails and watch as the blood ran down his hard body, so her lips did what her hands couldn’t. Her frantic kisses nipped, bit sucked and licked what ever she touched, everywhere they could reach, her voice leaving moist low gasps along Angel’s chest and neck. Cordelia cried out as her body tensed pushed to the edge. She roared it was too soon; she wanted more, she wanted it to last longer.
Angel cupped Cordelia’s thighs in a vicious grip bringing her hips against him while he thrust forcefully, pushing her the rest of the way over the edge. Angel caught her scream in his mouth he ate up all the noise she made and finally her inner walls contracted rapidly around him squeezing his erection painfully, her body refusing to be alone in its release. Angel tore his mouth from hers and flung his head back as he still pumped in and out of her he could feel his release coming, all his muscles tightened up. Angel growled, this time Cordelia reached up pulling his lips and head back down. Angel tensed, his body shuddering as the warm depths squeezed and released, pumping until he exploded. Angel’s body continued to twitch and jerk as his seed filled Cordelia.
Angel refusing to collapse at his bodies release moved back to where he left off as he greedily lapped and drank the trickles of blood that he let run down her permanently sun kissed body. He moved kissing and licking her breasts and nipples and felt them become hard peaks, Cordy moved restlessly under him, he licked the rivulets that had ran down over her taught stomach and some of it had pooled into her belly button, he sucked until it was clean. His mouth went down to each of her side cleaning the blood that had slid down and then he continued his journey southward wiping the parts of her body that were covered in the essence of life. Then he reached her center he could smell the arousal so strongly here, he sucked and bit her clit as she writhed beneath his skilled hands and mouth as he licked her one of his fingers slid into her wet hole, it was still a little sensitive from the vigorous sex they just had, he soon added a second finger and then a third, slamming his hand into her. Cordy had parted her legs even more to give him more access, as he shoved his hand up she slammed her body down as hard as she could.
Angel raised his eyes and watched Cordy’s head fly from side to side as her body moved up and down the bed. She was pure instinct; she was a perfect mate, demon to demon. He moved up her body his yellow eyes bright with lust and full of hunger his fingers never stopped pushing deeply in out and of her and then he found that little spot deep with in her, Angel knew what he had found because she gasped and her eyes opened wide and they were almost black with desire. His fingers pushed in and out, harder and faster hitting that same spot every time. Cordy was out of her mind it was too much but at the same time it still wasn’t enough she needed something else.
Angel reached so they stared yellow eyes to hazel ones, he watched as little noises escaped from her mouth. Bending down he kissed her deeply, as deep as his hands were going. He kissed and nibbled across her check and down to her neck; he gently bit her and then soothed the spot with his tongue. The muscles of her channel starting to clench and he knew that she was going to come again. Open his mouth wide he bit into the smooth flawless skin of her neck; his fangs sunk deep and with one last hard and strong push of his fingers she came screaming his name as Angel drank her blood.
Cordelia panted, gasping for breath as she watched Angel’s features shifted from his vampire visage back to his scandalously handsome human face. Guilt at what she had just done started to swim through her hazel orbs but was quickly washed away as she watched life and emotion come flaring into the chocolate brown pools she was staring into, it was the eyes she remembered the ones that she wanted to get back. She hoped she had all of him back and then they could deal with this together.
“Cor…dy,” Angel mumbled as his thoughts became coherent almost like the brutally passionate sex he just engaged in had beat the tortured thoughts to the recesses of his mind, everything was flooding back like a dam that had been released.
“It’s me Angel,” Cordelia whispered battering down her guilt forcing her unconditional love and trust of her vampire to the surface for the time being not wanting him to feel this sinfully pleasurable act was his fault. She had to make sure that he understood, he had to be better she didn’t know what she would do without him.
As Angel’s memories came into focus he saw the bruises forming on Cordy’s arms and knew that there were some on her legs as well as he remembered what just happened between the two of them. Guilt and shame came rushing through him as he saw the twin puncture wounds on her neck and the shallow scratches on her chest, “Oh god Cordy I’m so so…” He stuttered afraid that she would turn away from him, leave him for good this time.
“Angel don’t it’s not your fault your not guilty here, I am,” Cordy interrupted as her guilt broke through her flimsy barrier she had placed on it. She had wanted to keep it from him for as long as possible because she knew how he liked to put everything on his own shoulders.
“But I bit you, I hurt you,” Angel said still staring at the bruises on her arms and wrists.
“Angel you’re a supernatural creature with the supernatural ability to make everything your fault but this time it wasn’t and were not going to talk about it now,” Cordelia replied refusing to let the vampire she loved take fault for something she started.
Angel to exhausted and spent let his eyes droop as he gave in to her wishes he was just too tired to argue and too tired to pretend any longer. He had never felt this emotional drained and he just couldn’t hide any longer not at this moment in time.
“Angel what’s wrong?” Cordelia asked as she watched his features sag in what she figured was exhaustion but there was something else as well.
“I’m just so tired, so tired of pretending, its just too hard,” Angel answered no longer able to hide behind his nonexistent walls.
“Tired of pretending, I don’t understand,” Cordelia inquired somewhat confused.
“So tired of pretending I’m not in love with you, pretending that I can survive without you and now I’ve hurt you and I don’t know if I can survive when you leave me,” Angel answered still positive that he had forced himself on her in hid delusional state.
“Well I love you too and you didn’t hurt me Angel in fact I’m the one that started this and we will talk about it, us, these marks on my neck, and a few other things as well but right now you so need to rest buster,” Cordelia said in her no argument tone.
Angel sat in awe at the beautiful woman staring at him with eyes full of love and trust as his eternally young body drifted off into sleep for the first time in days, but to him it had felt like years, maybe centuries. Perhaps it had maybe finally finding his Cordelia and getting to this point in life was what he had been searching for, even if he didn’t become human being with her and having this extraordinary woman love him was his redemption and that was fine with him.
Cordelia stared at Angel as she watched the emotion in his eyes shift from guilt and shame to one of softness and love as he drifted off to sleep. As soon as she was sure he was asleep she shifted herself so she was draped over his cool body sharing her heat with him as he unconsciously pulled her in a protective grasp and she drifted of into a fitful slumber using his cool chest as her pillow. The two lovers wrapped up in each other’s embrace and felt finally at peace with themselves and the world they existed in.
Part 12
“Remember that time when Xander had a thing for the science teacher,” Buffy asked as she walked through the front doors of the Hyperion Hotel not noticing that Spike was sitting at the bottom of the stairs with a impish glint in his eyes.
“You mean the one that was a big bug,” Willow laughed remembering that incident and Willow decided not to add the fact that it only attacked virgins.
“You had a thing for a bug,” Gunn wheezed between his laughs he never thought that he would have so much fun with the ‘Scoobies’ but they were the only group that could laugh at the same stuff they did, most of it everyday people could not understand.
“Hey she didn’t look like a bug and at least she had a real body Willow,” Xander remarked as Willow’s face turned 10 different shades of red.
“Ummm Willow what’s that supposed to mean,” Questioned Fred with a mischievous smile. The little Texan was enjoying this so much just like with her LA family she didn’t feel weird or like a freak.
“I umm you know…kind of had this thing with ummm a demon that was trapped on the net,” Willow answered meekly as all the blood in her body was now trapped on her face.
“That’s what you get for trusting an online relationship Will,” Xander rebuffed humorously. Willow smacked him on the arm and poked her tongue.
“Enough about us tell me how you met Angel,” Buffy asked looking directly at Gunn it seemed all night they had talked about Sunnydale and weren’t told much about the LA group.
“Who me oh I tried to dust his ass as you can tell it didn’t work,” Gunn said nonchalantly as a shadow danced across his eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by the others. Wes and Fred went to his side, they did it for each other automatically trying to protect each other and give strength when needed. Gunn needed to change the conversation. “He would come by when he needed some expert help and when Wes here was blown up in the office and when Cordy.” He once again stopped even hearing and then seeing her when she had the visions 24/7 but seeing what pain it caused her and then going back to having her live through that non stop.
“How about you Wesley when did you start working with Angel,” Willow asked before anyone could make Gunn relive his past any more and ask about what had happened to Cordy?
“I was tracking a Kungai demon and came across Angel doing the same thing even though it turned out that the real umm bad guy was the empath demon that hired Angel. You see after he hired Angel to help him he found out Cordelia was a seer and kidnapped her and tried to sell her eyes it turns out he was an auctioneer of demon and supernatural parts and was going around killing other demons for his so called merchandise,” Wes answered remembering happier times. Wes suddenly laughed and everyone looked at him. “One thing about her, she is correct, she does know how to stave.” Everyone looked at him curiously. “Well from what I heard from people once everything had died down the betting was low and Cordy kept making things up, she started a bidding war and everything to give us time to get there, we were almost too late.” Wes smiled remembering when Cordelia attacked Angel with affection after that incident even though he was still in vamp face.
“All right Wesley what’s the smile for,” Dawn asked catching his smirk after his little story.
“Nothing really I just think that was one of the turning points in Cordy and Angel’s friendship,” Wes answered happily.
“Really how so?” Questioned Dawn
“After we saved her she locked Angel in what I would call a vice grip hug and he was still in his vampire face,” Wesley replied watching the realization come across the Scoobies faces and warm smiles on the AI gangs.
“Oh bollocks enough of the past lives all ready,” Spike interrupted annoyed that no one had acknowledged him yet.
“What the hell deadboy aren’t you supposed to be watching your grandpa,” Xander snubbed.
“I can hear just fine from here,” Spike smirked
“What exactly is that supposed to mean,” Willow asked curiously.
“Nothing, Nothing at all,” Spike replied the impish gleam returning to his eyes.
“Spike” Willow muttered her impatiences getting the better of her
“Red” The vampire said smugly.
“SPIKE!” This time the witch shouted at him.
“The bloody poof is fine all right if any one needs protection up there it’s him,” Spike huffed.
“What?” Questioned everybody
“They had happy time in the not so pleasant way,” Spike answered his smile now matching the mischievous shine in his eyes.
“I don’t get it,” Fred said confused.
“They had sex brutal and carefree sex,” Spike spat out jealously as he remembered the roaring and screaming and the smell of blood. Angel was lucky to have a woman who accepted everything about his nature and then initiated the brutal battle of dominance that took place earlier that night.
“You mean they made love,” Buffy said knowing how Cordy and Angel felt about each other.
“No slayer there was no love involved in their foray,” Spike answered watching the faces of everyone turn beet red.
“OK anyone up for a movie,” Wesley sniped quickly changing the subject not wanting to hear details he knew Spike would give out given half a chance.
*****
Cordelia groggily blinked away the sleep in her eyes and the pleasurable pain she had in places she didn’t know existed on her own body. Damn vampire is good even when he’s not all there she thought to her self guiltily remembering the events that took place earlier that night as she saw the cool brown eyes of the aforesaid vampire staring down into hers with love and confusion.
“Hey,” Angel said staring down into the bright hazel eyes that were still blinking as if remembering a dream only to find out it was real.
“Hey,” Cordelia replied shyly knowing her dreaded talk was coming soon.
“So umm,” Angel quipped in his usual dorkiness wondering how to start the talk that was desperately needed between the two of them. He figured it might be easier now that the tension he had around her was now diminished for reasons he couldn’t quite figure out yet.
“Our talk huh, didn’t take you to be a conversationalist Mr. Leave-me-in-my-corner-so-I-can-brood,” Cordelia snarked while she put on her brave face.
“Well I have gotten better you know,” Angel smiled as he shifted to sit up in bed not ready to get up and leave the comfortable warmth he had.
“Yes, you have so first things first your curse,” Cordelia said wanting to leave the events of their night together until last, “I know your soul is now permanent so I want to know how and why didn’t you tell me.”
“Ummm it was when Connor was born,” Angel started a smile creeping across his face “when Connor was born that was the happiest moment I’ve ever had. I felt the tug and pain of my soul leaving my body at that moment but something was different instead of being cold I suddenly started to feel warm. It was like someone went inside of my body and grabbed my soul and put it back with chains connected to it to keep it from ever leaving again. Ever since that night I’ve felt different more at peace I no longer feel the hole where my soul and demon were separated. I didn’t tell anybody about because at first I was afraid it wasn’t true and after that I just sorta forgot.” He finished sheepishly and shrugging his shoulders
“Forgot, you forgot how the hell do you forget something like that?” Cordelia seethed at his excuse her hazel eyes on fire more with annoyance than anger.
“It never came up and the only person I would like to test it on always showed indifference anytime I attempted to make a move,” Angel answered remembering how every time he tried to tell Cordy how he felt she would change the subject, turn his meaning into something else or jump into the arms of another man.
Cordelia made a slight gasp as she realized that Angel was talking about her. She remembered all the time he would turn into a stuttering idiot at times and just now came to the conclusion that he was trying to ask her out to be in a relationship. Instead of letting him finish she would always change the subject never realizing that he was only that way when he was trying to express his feeling to her, to open up and let her in and she always blew him off.
“I have a question for you Cordy,” Angel asked when she just stared at him.
“Go ahead ask away,” she replied coming out of her daze.
“How did you know where Connor was when Holtz tried to take him into another dimension and why were you here anyways I thought you were on vacation with what’s his name,” Angel said not wanting to say the other guys name.
“Ummm yeah about that I never went on vacation with Groo. I umm sorta gave him the money you gave me and sent him out of town,” Cordy answered.
“Huh…What…Why?” Angel stuttered curiously.
“I had an epiphany in a way. I figured out Groo wasn’t what I was looking for. He was a big hunk of man meat that’s for sure but he was nothing more than a big puppy dog that did anything and everything I wanted him to do. That used to be how I liked my men but that’s not me anymore I want someone who is smart and won’t do anything and everything I ask. Basically I found out that I want my men to fight back, to not give in to my every whim. When it gets down to it I want you. Which reminds me; don’t let me forget to return that potion. Oh and about Connor I was at home had a vision then I saved the day,” Cordy replied in true Cordy fashion.
“Potion huh…you mean,” Angel stammered confused.
“Yep, no comshuck for me well until last night anyways,” Cordelia smiled.
“So um about us,” Angel asked remembering what Cordelia said last night about what she wanted to talk about.
“First things first about these marks on my neck,” Cordelia said fingering the two puncture wounds on her neck.
“That kind of involves us Cordy,” Angel replied shame and guilt rolling in waves across his features.
“Well I guess we’ll have a two for one then,” Cordy answered trying to lighten up Mr. Broody’s demeanor.
“The bite is a claiming bite which by itself means nothing but since it happened during sex and you bit me back it means you accepted the claim and that your mine,” Angel said breaking it down into its simplest form.
“So I guess that means there’s an us then huh,” Cordy replied easily her voice betraying the heat in her eyes.
“Well yes but there’s more to it than that we’re bonded. Basically you will be able to feel me out whenever you want. We’re also emotionally connected you will be able to feel what I’m feeling and vice versa. Don’t worry its not as bad as its sounds it’s easily controlled,” Angel said catching the glint that flared in Cordelia’s hazel eyes and the hitch in her breathing.
“Well that’s not so bad then I always seem to know where you’re at and what you’re feeling anyway,” Cordelia quipped making light of the weird bond she and Angel have had for a long time.
“Oh and before you get any ideas your little vampire bond works both ways because your mine, you try and say otherwise and I’m pulling out the dustbuster.” Cordelia said as she got out of Angel’s large bed.
“Where are you going,” questioned Angel as he watched the beautiful woman get out of his bed and start rummaging through his closet and drawers.
“I’m going to take a shower and get dressed and you should do the same. Afterwards we’ll talk about last night,” Cordelia replied disappearing into the bathroom.
As Cordelia stepped into the warm running water letting the purifying waterfall temporarily wash away the filthy feeling she had from her actions last night. Cordelia steeled herself as her emotions battled against the wall she had built when she woke up in the arms of the vampire she loved, in the arms of the vampire that she committed the greatest crime against in her mind. Cordelia knew that Angel would forgive her actions it was just part of who he was but she didn’t know if she could ever forgive herself for forsaking her best friend and taking what she wanted instead of being the friend that he needed.
*****
Angel sat silently at the edge of his bed listening intently to the brunette in the bathroom. The shower was turned off now and she still hadn’t exited and he was starting to get worried. There were no sounds coming from behind the door at all if it wasn’t for the steady thump of her heartbeat he would of thought she was dead.
Cordelia sat on the closed lid of the toilet in silent contemplation as she repeatedly beat herself up over her actions the previous night. Cordy was trying to build up her walls so she could confront Angel but every time she tried they crumbled faster then she could build them until she came to the conclusion that when it came to Angel her heart would not allow her to bury her emotions. Still repeatedly beating herself up and trying to confront the vampire in the other room Cordelia was completely oblivious to the fact that tears were flowing down her face as sobs racked her body.
Angel heard the sobs coming from the bathroom and approached the door and knocked waiting for the lovely brunette on the other side to answer when she didn’t he slowly opened the door hoping she was in a decent state of dress.
“Cordy,” Angel asked as he saw the brunette sitting on the toilet wearing his robe with tears running down her lovely face.
“Oh god, Angel I’m so sorry,” Cordelia cried as she latched on to Angel like he was her lifeline.
“Shh… I got you Cordy it’s ok I got you,” Angel replied slowly sinking to his knees as the crying girl slid down his body wrapping her arms around his knees.
“No its not ok Angel…I used you… I took from,” Cordelia said as sobs continued to rack her body.
“What are you talking about?” Angel asked completely forgetting about the events of the previous night as he worried about his best friend and woman he loved.
“Last night I used you for my own selfish desires when you were in no condition to stop me…I…I took advantage of you,” Cordelia rasped, as her voice became horse.
“Cordelia look at me,” Angel calmly asked as he wiped the tears off her face, “you need to forgive yourself I already have.”
“I can’t you needed me and I…I,” Cordelia started as tears and sobs overtook her again.
“Dammit Cordelia get over it,” Angel said his soft voice betraying his words as he used one of Cordelia’s catch phrases.
Cordelia blinked her tears away as she stared into the cool chocolate eyes, just above the nose, which was above the lips that just spoke those exasperated words in a calm and loving tone.
“Yes, Cordy I said get over it,” Angel explained, “I forgive you. I’m not saying what you did was right but it wasn’t wrong either because if I was coherent I wouldn’t of stopped you so get over it, I love you and your actions last night won’t change how I feel.”
Cordelia was still staring blankly into the deep brown eyes that held nothing but love and admiration as the strong body that was supporting her got up and quietly left the room.
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