Author: rousedower
Title: Awake
Posted: 03-22-2002
Notes: I wrote and posted this on the old board a few months ago, but I thought why not post it again for any newbies that are interested.
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.
Rating: PG
Mild Spoilers: for BtVS S5 and AtS S2.
Summary- In response to Love's Bitch's challenge; At the end of this season, not only did Angel find out Buffy was dead, but he was unable to rescue Cordy from Pylea. Either he was never able to get there, or something happened while he was there, it's up to you. How would losing both of them at the same time effect our black-clad hunk of a night thing?
ANGST WARNING

---

"What's wrong Angel?"

She lies down next to me on my bed, and smoothes her palm over my forehead gently.

"I can't sleep again." I mutter, and lean toward her touch.

"Nightmares?"

I nod.

"I can take care of that."

"No you can't, Cordy. They're about you."

"What about me?"

"I keep seeing you, being stabbed by that Druid... over and over... every time I close my eyes."

"It's only a dream Angel." She whispers so softly, the hairs on the back of my neck twitch.

"No. You were so close... and I kept trying to reach you, to get to you, but you kept moving farther and farther away. You left me."

"I never left. I'll never leave, I'll always be right here, with you. You know that."

"She left me too."

"Who?"

"Buffy."

"You had a nightmare about her, too?"

"Mmm-hmm. But I wasn't really there for this one. I just know, I have this feeling that she's gone."

"Buffy's fine, Angel. I'm fine. You haven't slept in days. You need to rest."

"I don't need to rest, I just need you. When you got sucked through that portal, I was so scared I'd never see you again. And when I found you, you were a Princess. Always a Princess."

"All that's over with now. I'm back, you saved me from that evil Druid guy."

"No... I didn't."

"Angel, you're talking nonsense now. You need to sleep." Her tone is demanding.

Tears start to stream down my face in a torrent. "I can't sleep. If I do, you'll leave."

"I'm not going far. I'll be right in the next room."

"Please, Cordy. Please don't leave me."

"I'm not. I'll be right here."

"I love you."

"Then why did you let me die?"

I start to feel sick to my stomach. "I tried..."

"You didn't try hard enough. And now I'm dead."

"NO!" She starts moving away from me, and I try to get up, but my body feels like lead. I watch as she disappears. "Cordy! Please don't go!"

"Let her go, Angel."

I turn at the voice. "Buffy?"

"Stop acting like a baby."

"What are you doing here?" I wipe at my eyes to see more clearly.

"Oh Angel, It's not so bad. Being dead. Cordy and I are much better off like this."

"How can you say that? Cordy was killed and you sacrificed your own life, you didn't have to die, neither of you had to die!"

"Don't mourn for us Angel. We're someplace where nothing can ever hurt us again. We're safe and we'll always be safe."

"She thinks... she thinks that I let her die."

"No. You think that."

I open my eyes. They're both gone. And I'm all alone again.

I've lost them both. Buffy, and my.....

My Cordy.

I roll over and cry. Cry so hard at the loss of the two most important women of my existence.

End.