Title: Origins
Author: Rachelle
Posted: 12-11-2002
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Email: Infinity79@msn.com
Content: C/A angst, C/C and B/A implied. New characters
Summary: The Powers That Be are trying to separate Angel & Cordelia anyway they can. An unknown entity tries to intervene
Spoilers: AtS Season 4 "Rain of Fire." BtVS Season 3 "Faith, Hope, & Trick
Disclaimer: Mr. Wedon's characters and world is not mine. Nope! But I made my own characters to make up for it
Distribution: Nothing Fancy, The Addiction. Just ask
Notes: This is an idea that has be floating around my head for weeks. It will make sense eventually. Just hang on!Part 1: Intervention
In this world, there are things feared that are know. and things unknown that should be feared. And in that case, how do you know? How do you know the monster lurking behind seemingly friendly eyes? When we are born, we naturally fear the dark. And as we age, we either accept it or still shrink in terror when the lights go out.
And what of the unknown? An adopted child searching for biological parents, afraid of what he or she may find out about the past. An unsolved murder, whose roots go deeper than the norm. The need to know all and everything. Stories told from ancient times, passages left out for incomprehensible reasoning. For good reason. Knowledge to rival God. That great unknown is coming. She wants to be heard now.
My name's Whistler. You've seen me around before. It's my job to give you this story. Hope you can stomach it.
Los Angeles, 2003
It was a hard thing, being one of the only human Senior Partners at Wolfram & Hart. No matter how dark you became, lingering emotions as a man still existed. Humanity was a weakness that no one could escape from, not even bad men. For Linden Cole, the years of evil had started to run thin. Wealth and power at the extent of others. Age old rule, and he was tired of it.
He was blessed with a false family. A wife with a heart of glass, to match her untouchable beauty. Two children who could not stand the sight of their own father.
Jillian, his wife, barely had time between her enhancement surgeries or her latest lovers. His seventeen year old daughter, Robyn, was on a constant suicidal watch in the best mental ward that Wolfram & Hart controlled. And his pride, his son, Jasper was now studying law. Hell bent on becoming a partner at his Daddy's firm.
A house of coldness is what he created, in exchange for power.
Linden still had his looks, that of a distinguished handsome man in his forties, although his true age was in his green eyes. Those eyes that had seen too much and had witnessed the most ungodly deeds.
Eyes that now misted over, as he gazed upon Los Angeles with a heavy heart, from his corner office window. The ice tickled against his glass, as he drank, the scotch giving a delightful burn. How many? How many of those wretched souls will fall victims to his firm? And what of the ones who already had?
City of Angels, how he wanted to weep for them. Fire was raining down on the city, an apocalypse that had not been foreseen. If the world was ending, he wanted to die with them. To be with them, as a human complete. To say he was sorry, for helping them fall from grace. For his failure as a husband and a father. He wanted the evil from his heart. Linden wanted cleansing.
Maybe, it was because this remorse was so honest and heartfelt, that she decided to come to him and not someone else. Maybe...
"Hello, Linden."
Linden Cole spun around, looking for the owner of that voice, his thoughts halted.
How did anyone get in here? A Senior Partner's office could not be accessed by anyone or anything without consent. But when he saw who it was, he understood. And he quaked in child-like fear, when he met the eyes of the intruder.
Glowing, silver eyes with flecks of purple, their depths twinkling with amusement. Long, black lashes framed them, making the color even brighter.
A terrifying beauty.
Waist length, raven black hair, that was held elegantly at the name of her neck. Skin like alabaster, with a touch of pale pink roses. Full lips, the lower with a charming clef in the center.
If she were normal, a raging hard on would affect any man. Just looking at her could bring mortal men to their knees. But there was nothing normal about her.
Her beauty was unnerving in it's perfection, as if she were created. A plan of decadent loveliness before she was born. And the crazy thing was, that had been the way. The tall, curvaceous woman before him had been created.
"Je- Jedaria?" He could never forget her name, the ethereal sound of it, pronounced 'Jeh-dar-reea.'
She came further into his office, with a rapacious sway in her every step. Everything about her screamed predator- from the way her eyes faced forward, to the clothes she wore. She was clad in modern day clothes, low-cut silver pants, exposing her firm belly and a plain, black tee-shirt.
"I am pleased you remembered." Her voice carried through the room, musical and light. Linden could not help, but recall a long ago past of innocence as a child. The age of seven, laying on the grass with his mother and sister, as their beautiful mother told them stories that made him smile. An age of innocence that would be ripped away by their death, by his father's hands.
That is what was only one of the things she could do- bring back the most cherished fragments of existence or the most dreadful. . . just on a whim, just with her voice.
"Of course I remember you, Jedaria."
"Of course you would. So much has been going on with you for the past year. Lots of projects," her hips swayed lusciously, as she pondered the objects in his office, her elegant fingers grasping a crystal ball from his desk. The ball began to glow in her hands, powered by her mysticism, casting a eerie light on her face. "Lots of interesting projects."
"I am a lawyer, madam."
"And quite a lawyer you are, Linny! Dabbling in such wicked things."
She could have been born of a cobra. Her silver eyes had barely blinked, as she bore into his tired eyes. Her expression was serene, but tense, as if she were herself mesmerized.
"How- how is your... mother?"
"Oh, hellish, as usual," she laughed, juggling the crystal between her palms, "But I am only half of that, not to worry." Her face darkened as she moved closer to him. A small smile graced her full lips, knowing the little secret they shared. "You remember what the other half is, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Yes. Do my origins. . . still frighten you?"
"Ye- yes."
"Don't worry about them, Linny! You need only be concerned with me." Not a reassuring thing. The only reason Jedaria would be on this plane is if something big were brewing. Something beyond demons and humans.
The sky of L.A. raining down fire may have something to do with it, he mused. Could be that she sent the Beast to us.
"If I may be so bold, to ask you a question?" His hands were trembling so bad, he dropped his glass of scotch, barely heeding the cold splash on his ankle.
"Be bold. Please."
"Why are you here?"
"Angel."
"You're here because of Angel?!" He could not control his shock at the incredulous of Jedaria being here for Angel.
"Uh-huh," she nodded her head, with such a casualness she could have been discussing an opera.
"Why?!" Jedaria was here in this dimension because of the vampire? True, he was unique because of his soul and he was to be a player in the upcoming apocalypse, well, Wolfram & Hart's apocalypse. But why? Jedaria was so far beyond this realm. Beyond all realms.
"That has nothing to do with you or your firm. I came here, to see you and to tell you something."
"What?"
"You and your firm, are to leave Angel and his crew alone. Your special project is over. Do I make myself clear?" Gone was the playful attitude she had first come in with. Her demeanor was replaced by that of a hardened woman, an unearthly being that would make good her word if she was disobeyed.
Linden coughed, as the air in room suddenly felt stifled, charged with electrical and mystical energies.
Her lovely eyes, were actually glowing and had now become a kaleidoscope of colors. Changing from purple, to blue, to green... A mere fragment of her power, just for show.
Jedaria reached out, cupping her palm to his cheek, stilling his tremors, her face softening. "Do not fear me, Linden. I heard you. How long have you suffered?"
Linden Cole, squeezed his eyes shut, leaning against the cool window behind him, the tears he had been holding onto for the past few years burst free. He could never hide from her, she knew too much. The dam was broken, he was broken. "Since they died."
"Ah, beautiful Corrine and sweet Marjorie," she whispered, brushing a tear with the pad of her thumb. "They are on the Higher plane, Linden. Where you could have gone. I cannot save you, Linden, and you cannot save yourself. The evils you have wrought need to be accounted for. You do know this?"
"Yes," he whimpered, he had always know he was damned to go to hell. Ever since he had brought down the ax on his father when he was twelve. It was a comforting knowledge at the time, he had orchestrated his destiny and reveled in it. Hell was just a word, reality at present was what counted to him during all those years. Until he began to see hell for what it really was, until he began working for the very creatures it represented. Then he started to fear. . . do unto others what has been done to you.
"She will come for you soon, but do not despair, for it will not be an eternity. Amends are for all." Jedaria smiled at his confusion, his face had brightened with fragile hope. "He has also heard you and you will not suffer long."
And just as she had appeared, she was gone. No light, no sound, not even a whisper. She had said amends, and only she would know. Linden Cole, Senior Partner at Wolfram & Hart, collapsed to his knees, hugging himself like a lost lamb. He would suffer, but he would be amended.
She could bring mortal men to their knees.
Forgiveness, amends. Such things are given, when the price has been paid. Suffering has to the rewarded for suffering. No one can escape it. . . not even Champions.
Now we journey to a dark place, where something of the past is occurring now. Talk about riddles, huh? You'll see what mean.
Hell, Eternity
"You will release him!"
"Insolent, child! How dare you command me, in my dimension!" Voices of chaos rose from the ashes, the pit of Hell was churning. It's mistress was not in a pleasant mood.
Hell. It was a place of inner and outer turmoil. Not all was fire and brimstone, but they were there. Physical torment would never be complete without mental anguish. . . that was there too.
Hell, is what you make it. What you fear becomes a companion throughout your stay. If you dread being buried alive, the dirt is piled over and over again. Repetition. Drowning, fire, it's all there. Never leaves. Most quiver at the idea of being afflicted by the horrendous deeds they did to others. And those rare ones, that felt no terror. . . She could always find something to entertain.
But now, the demons and the damned were quaking in fear as a new terror of unprecedented Power rose about them. A clash of wills in the nightmares made flesh and blood.
A battle of unparallel proportions was being waged in Hell. Two immortal creatures were locked against each other making the foundations of hell tremble. Two beings fighting for the destiny of another.
Sitting high on her throne of blood and bones was Lilith, Demon Goddess of the Underworld.
Forget the myths and legends about her being the first wife of Adam. The only thing she was first at was being the reigning evil in the darkest dimension imaginable. She was Lilith, second only to the First Evil. Banished from the sight of God, much as Lucifer had been when he fell from grace. After all, mankind is only told what it needs to hear. How would the fragile minds of humans grasp the actions of gods and devils?
Lilith was a terrible and beautiful creature, and she was not of happy temperament. Her stubborn daughter, was defying her. Again!
"Mother," Jedaria hissed, not even trying to leash in the vehemence towards the demon. "Release him. Now."
"And why should I do that? He was sent to me, to my world. Why would I want to release him of his torture? He has not even been here that long." Lilith giggled. How she loved her world. There were many levels of Hell. But hers was the best. Let Satan take all the credit, she had the goods. Days would pass on the mortal plane, but here, here hundreds of years passed.
Had he tried a different way to end the human world she may not have got him. Acathla had been her demon and the vortex he would have opened went only to her Hell. It was delightful, because either way she would have won. If Acathla had swallowed the world, her Hell would have been on earth. As it were, her demon had been defeated, but what a prize she had received from that setback.
And she was not done with him. It wasn't every millennia that a demon with a soul, a soul of light was given to her cruel clutches. The things he had done to innocents, was like a sweet sonnet to her. He had been one of her favorites, reveling in the demon that possessed him. But now he was with a soul! And his dealings had to be brought to trial. Her trial.
Jedaria glared at her mother with undisclosed hatred. Lilith wore the mask of classical beauty, stunning black eyes with golden hair. Elegantly relaxing in a white muslin dress, shaming the very meaning of purity. The evil of this creature, her mother. . . would never cease to amaze her. She never wanted to be part of her. How could she be part of this creature? Lilith had not one ounce of good in her. How could she? Her mother was the Queen of Hell. And Jedaria was her daughter, borne of her essence.
"He has suffered enough."
Lilith's black eyes were shining with glee. Her daughter was in agony! That was why this was so sinfully sweet. She had never wanted a child, but had had no choice in the matter. A greater power had been wrought over hers. The result was Jedaria. Granted, the girl was exceptional. She had within her the ability to end worlds or create them. The whole dimensional plane was hers, for Jedaria was the Keeper. All that power wasted on a simpering child, whining to free what was rightfully her mother's.
She is half of me, so where is the evil?
"Jedaria, he was delivered to me by one that loved him. Why would I give that up?"
"You know why. And don't think for one moment that I cannot just take him!"
Lilith gazed down at her daughter with grim respect. She was brave, that could not be denied. But then again, Jedaria had been engineered, so fear was never a question. And try as she might, Lilith knew she could not keep him forever. Some journeyed down to her world to stay, indefinitely, others. . . only for a little while. And those were the most fun! Torturing those that had done their own version of evil, but that were destined to serve the Higher purpose.
"That small, meaningless. . . clause. . . is nothing to me. Just as you are nothing to me," she snarled at her daughter, disgusted that she would bring that up. "You can have him back, though he was never meant to be yours. As much as you've wanted it be, Jedaria, my sweet. Angel was never to belong to you. Esmodai!"
Jedaria whirled around, hearing the resonant thump of her mother's most trusted demonic guard. Esmodai was something to reckoned with. Standing at an imposable eight feet tall, he was large in every sense. His appearance was just that of a huge, human male. His forearm was larger than Jedaria's thigh. Aside from his overwhelming exterior, nothing gave away his demonism, other than his eyes. Those classic demon-tiger eyes that glowed green.
Esmodai came to a halt beside Jedaria, bowing to his mistress, "My Queen."
Lilith, was as always, delighted with Esmodai's humility. Her creation, he was perfect. Inflicting the most violent, diabolic punishments possible.
"Esmodai," she crooned, "Take my little bitch to the vampire. Seems that by her request, he's to have an early pardon." Lilith knew her impertinent offspring meant well by her words that she could just take Angel from her domain. Her daughter did have that power, but in order to use it against her mother would require the presence of another. . . being. And Lilith could not abide that! "Give him to her, my Esmodai."
"As you wish, my Queen," Esmodai turned to Jedaria, gesturing her with his massive arm to go before him.
As Jedaria was just ready to leave her mother's loving presence, she felt a burning inspiration to give back to her mother the same kindness. "Mother?"
"What?" There was nothing more that she hated than being called that.
"Fuck you."
Jedaria regarded him as they proceeded through the dark corridors. He was most unusual. Esmodai exacted horrid tortures and no doubt, had subjected Angel to some of them, but he seemed to have some reluctance. Her mother did not notice because her vain, black heart could not see past his subservience to her. He was a wild card.
Their walk was sullen through the varying chambers that held the damned in eternal horrors. Jedaria hated the fact that she was not affected by the atrocities that surrounded her. She should feel repulsed, if not smothered by the malevolence about her. Courtesy of her mother's genes. . . comfort in the evil that engulfed her. It's comforting.
"You try your mother's patience, Princess."
"Esmodai, my mother does not have that virtue. In fact, she has no virtues."
With that, they continued their journey in silence.
Esmodai was forever intrigued by his Princess. Her pure side always radiated from her like a sonic beacon when she was down here, reminding all of them how far they were from the light. For Esmodai, he had never come close to the Higher realm. Jedaria was a close as he would ever get, and that was fine. Just a brief glimpse was enough.
She seemed so frail and innocent, walking beside him, compared to his size and the darkness about them. Her resound acceptance to him calling her Princess. It was natural for him to acknowledge her as the rightful heir to his world. Yet, Esmodai knew that she was far from that. She could destroy him. Jedaria could liberate Hell.
She very well may, he mused.
Jedaria came to a halt at the end of the corridor. The walls pulsated with pain and agony. Before her was a door, a plain wooden door. No locks or chains. The only way to be opened was by will alone.
Shivering, she slowly inched her hand to the door. She was disturbed to find she could not control the tremors, glaring at her betraying hand. They all thought she had no fear, but she did. . . She didn't want it. . .
Esmodai gazed at the back of Jedaria, realizing her hesitation. She had not touched anything since she had arrived. To do so, because of her demon within, would open a floodgate to her own dark desires.
Jedaria was the daughter of Lilith and the darkness would always be part of her. And she would delight in it once she made contact.
Angel.
Gathering her will, Jedaria pressed her palm, hard against the door holding the vampire.
"YES!" Jedaria screamed in unsuppressed rapture. Her senses were overwhelmed with pain! She could feel it all! Such sweet torture, so much tenderness in anguish. . . it was what she was missing, what she secretly craved.
Oh, my Angel, how you are suffering, she hummed to herself. His was a siren's call of unspeakable pain.
Esmodai had never seen this of her. Jedaria was now leaning up against the door, trying to burrow herself in the sensations she was gathering. Her aura was turning dark, she was no longer giving off the light. Jedaria's darkness was taking her over. He did not want this. Esmodai started to panic.
"Princess Jedaria, the vampire?!"
She whipped around, glaring at him, the walls surrounding them reverberated as Jedaria harnessed her Power. How dare interrupt her?! The exquisite torment was like nothing she had ever felt before. The evil within did not want to lose it, she wanted to relish and bathe in it!
The large demon quaked in terror has he stared into her eyes, those precious silver eyes that had now gone completely black. Like her mother's. Her Power was now focused on him and she would use it against him for his insolence.
"Angel! Don't forget Angel, Jedaria," Esmodai's voice was raspy as he slowly backed away from her. She frightened him. Looking into her black eyes was like seeing nothing. . . the most frightening thing in the world was nothing. But he now knew this, witnessing the force in Lilith's daughter.
They know nothing about her abilities! This was only a flex of power. Esmodai knew in this instance, not even Lilith could comprehend the formidableness that was the Keeper.
Angel?
Focusing on Esmodai's words, Jedaria began to come back to herself, the black haze of rage that had consumed her. She could feel her senses regain control, leashing in her Power. . . tears were forming.
How could I have. . . almost, she whimpered in herself, her head throbbing. She had forgotten about freeing Angel. I wanted to keep him there, basking in his torment!
"No," she whispered, closing her eyes. She had faced her only fear. Her capability for evil was real, and was only restrained by a thin line- a line she was doomed to walk forever.
Esmodai gasped, as the door behind swung open. He took a step forward, looking behind Jedaria.
Once he was near her, she turned, bringing her view to where Esmodai was focusing.
And there he was. Angel.
The vampire was naked, standing perfectly immobile. His brown eyes intent on the visions only he could see. And what visions they were, to have Jedaria's demon shuddering in ferocious ecstasy.
"What has she done to you?" Jedaria came to stand in front of the vampire, trying to read his eyes. They were feral, void of comprehension, they held nothing in their depths. Her hand rested on his pale cheek, trying to gauge the severity of her mother's damage to the vampire.
"Lilith has done everything to him, Princess. I even wanted to weep for the Angel."
How long could he have survived this? The soulless could not even tolerate that much agony, but he had. Hopefully, he still retained some semblance of self. He needs to! For the sake of the human world, you need to come back, she prayed silently.
"She did more than necessary because of me, didn't she?"
Esmodai had never seen his mistress so bent on torture, as she was with the vampire. Lilith had only wanted to keep him longer because she had not succeeded in completely breaking him. And she did it out of spite of Jedaria. Esmodai knew his answer would crush her, though he would never know why.
"Yes, for you."
The walls of hell sung with pleasurable anguish, and the sound of Jedaria's wail. Never, in all the eons, had such sorrow, such misery been expressed in Hell!
Lilith, Queen of Hell, let out a triumphant laugh of heartless joy.
****
Jedaria sank down to her knees, Angel following suit, pulled down by her strength. He was so cold, colder than would be expected of a vampire. Her tears were falling effortlessly, awash with grief as she cradled Angel in her arms. Her dark hair fell over her shoulder, draping over Angel. Jedaria whimpered helplessly, as Angel tried to delve closer to her warmth.
"My mother, did this, Esmodai. True, he could not escape the destiny of this place, but she did more. Because of me." She spoke as if her will to live was diminished. Never had she felt so powerless. She was the Keeper, nothing happened in the dimensions without her knowledge. But she knew, it was all part of his destiny. Just as it was her destiny to allow his torture.
Such a great destiny that he has to be subjected to all. Angel was privy to everything that was good and evil. Just as he held within him the potential for good and evil.
Never because of me. . . never because of me.
Two beings, not truly belonging to this realm, yet were more a part of it then they would ever want to admit.
Esmodai did not fully comprehend his Queen's determination to inflict the most demeaning, horrid punishments on Angel. He only knew it was to hurt Jedaria. But how can a vampire's torment hurt her? Esmodai feared he would never know the connection between Jedaria and Angel. Maybe it was better that he did not know.
"My poor Angel," Jedaria whispered, cradling his head in her lap. Angel just stared straight ahead, no seeing anything but his visions. She had to get him out of here, Angel was worsening each moment he stayed in Hell.
Gently resting his head on the dank and dirty ground, Jedaria slowly rose, regaining her composure. Tears ran down her flushed cheeks, watching the vampire. He stayed the way she had released him, not moving. . . just staring. It was time to leave.
"I am taking him home, Esmodai."
And without a sound, they were gone. Esmodai was left wondering if the light would ever come back to illuminate his eternal darkness.
Sunnydale, 1998
Buffy Anne Summers, swallowed against the huge lump in her throat, as she bid her farewell. She, the Slayer, had chosen duty and the world over her lover. Cursed with his soul, just when the demon, Acathla, had awakened ready to suck the world into Hell.
She had held onto him for so long. Needing to live again, she had decided to come to the mansion, to the very spot that she had killed him. To say farewell.
Gathering her will, she said the word, "Goodbye."
Buffy trembled, as pulled out the silver claddagh ring he had given to her on her seventeenth birthday. Symbol of their love, she placed it gently on the spot that Angel had disappeared in Acathla's vortex. Pushed by her sword.
Turning to leave, she never noticed the figure, lurking in the shadows, stepping out of the dark as she left.
Jedaria, regarded the Slayer with turbulent emotions of hate, respect, and understanding. This was the child who had delivered Angel to her mother's hands. She knew the Slayer did so to protect the world, but she could not forgive her that.
"You do what you have to do. As do I." She whispered to the Slayer, knowing she was too far away to hear her.
She gazed at the claddagh ring with a heavy heart. So much lost and more to lose. Jedaria felt sad for the girl. Buffy would help her Angel return, but he was not for her. He was never meant to be hers.
He was never meant to be mine. And she was gone.
The ground began to tremble, making the ring bounce off the floor. From the sealing, a hole opened up, a brilliant white light poring from within it.
As if borne again, Angel fell from light in the ceiling. almost like an angel cast from Heaven. Naked, his body collided with ground.
Shaking, he raised his head. Not knowing where he was, all he knew was that the pain had stopped. It was stopped.
The freeing of Angel, a mystery that was never fully know or regarded. Now you know. Our vampire was set free by the daughter of hell. More questions always arise when answers are given. If you're curious, we can always go a little further. I don't mind.
Los Angeles, 2003
I know all the lost things.
No matter how hard he focused or how much he tried to forget, the pain was still there. The moment when his world crashed around him, when he realized he would never have completion. That he was never meant to have, only to lose. Dinza had warned him.
He had by no means set out to win. That was never his intention. All he wanted was to have, to belong. For awhile he did. In his quest for redemption, he had belonged. But in this moment, as the world trembled closer to the end, he finally knew that loss was all he would ever have.
It seemed like an eternity ago, him and the others fighting that demon on that skyscraper. So much power and strength it had. Struggling for unnecessary air, to control his excruciating pain, that beast had whispered to him.
Do you really think she's safe, with him?
With those words, all the pain inflicted by the monster was pushed back., as he was flung from the roof of the building. There was only one "she" for him. . . Cordelia. Regaining his senses after the fall, Angel had taken off to Connor's place in a frenzied run. It had said she was not safe. How could she not be safe with Connor?
The sky was red, with fire fell from a burning heaven, but he did not see it. All he saw was betrayal.
From the building across from where Cordelia and Connor stayed, Angel had a birds eye view into the loft. What he saw turned his soul to ice. Darkness was inching into his soul again and he was welcoming it.
I love you. I always will.
Deep under the ocean, she had been his only concern. Cordelia. His Seer, his best friend, his love. She was the object of his greatest dreams and his suppressed fears. Just earlier that day, she had professed her love to him. A love that she had to contain because she had seen him. During her stay in the Higher realm, she had seen him as Angelus and had felt his darkness. Cordelia had experienced the pain he had imposed on the innocent, the guilty, all that had crossed his path during his soulless years.
And she had felt is pleasure in causing those tortures. It was too much for her as a mortal to bare, she needed time to adjust.
For the first time, Angel truly wished he did not have a soul. Anything would be better than the pain it caused. That's all he would ever receive, is anguish. No matter how much he could do, how much he has done- it would never be enough. Amends was not his to have.
Cordelia was the one he was supposed to be with, to love. He had always known, deep in the recesses of his mind, that it was no accident that she was to be his Seer. Granted, Doyle was irreplaceable as a friend and confidant, but she had somehow been with him one way or the other for the past seven years. Moving from questionable, to acquaintance, to colleague, to friend- Seer and Champion. To love.
I love you. Not now, never.
The woman he loved was caught in the arms of another. his own son.
He had lost his soul, only to regain it through a curse. Wandered the world in his solitary misery. Finding and losing his first love. Even in Hell, the pain had not been like this.
He could feel his face, an emotionless mask of stone. Connor and Cordelia making love. She was not his!
Angel's soul was not being ripped from him by a curse or external forces. It was being poisoned by the ones he loved the most. Yes, Dinza had been right.
You have so much more to lose.
The angels in heaven wept, as a scream of unspeakable pain tore from their Champion.
Disturbing, huh? Seeing the woman you love in the arms of another, your son no less! Poor Angel. I thought that Slayer would have it rough, but I guess I was wrong. I've seen this vampire journey through darkness and back, always he had been able to survive. Such strength is a rarity, a blessing taken for granted. Even by the Higher beings he serves. But I'm not the only one who sees his strength, his worth.
Heaven, Eternity
What she was seeing was sickening. The most depraved act of selfishness she had ever witnessed. And they were doing nothing. Their world was falling apart at the seams. An armaggedon was coming to earth, but they were more concerned about the severance of the Champion and his Seer.
I'm gonna have to interrupt here and explain something to you. Heaven is different from what mortals perceive it to be. True, it's paradise and the resting place of the worthy, but it's governed by the Powers That Be. Now what does that mean exactly? It's a council system made up of God's most trusted angels and seraphs. Great augurs and guardians who aid in helping God maintain light and goodness in the worlds. These are the guys who came up with idea of Slayers to counter against the rising forces of darkness on earth. Who send wayward demons like me, to balance the line between good and evil. It's their job and they're good at it. Beings of this magnitude do not measure the consequences of their actions on others, they do what they have to do.
"How can you allow this? Is this your way of helping our Champion?"
The Powers That Be regarded the woman in front of them with unease and understanding. Jedaria, the dimensional Keeper, was focusing her rage on them. This was never allowed in their realm, rage. Heaven was a place of comfort and enlightenment. But always and forever, it was different with her.
Leithian, an auguring angel of great power, wanted nothing more than to abandon his fellow guardians and comfort the Keeper. She had not been given an easy existence and her ties with the Champion were understandable. He had opposed the actions his fellow guardians had initiated. They could not see that by forcing the Champion away from Cordelia would only cause strife. He had a feeling no good would come of it.
"Jedaria, we know how this must anger, but you have to remember your place," Samyael, a seraph, warned. He was not a fan of Jedaria. He did not hate her, but her constant challenge of their will was getting tiresome. "Your opinions cannot sway our decisions. The Champion relies too much on her."
Her silver eyes flashed, baring into the seraph's. She knew that he did not like her and that was fine with her. Samyael could never stand against her. She had too much power over him. "So what then? Just allow Angel to succumb into darkness again? Let Angelus loose?"
"Yes." Was the collective answer.
"You must understand, Jedaria," Jahane, another seraph, reasoned. She seemed as if she had been woven of both sunlight and moonlight, having silvery blond hair and golden eyes. She was a sweet, benevolent creature which was hard for her to say such things to Jedaria. But it was the will of the augury and she had to obey. "We only do what is best for humanity."
Jedaria felt her emotions whirl in a crescendo of disbelief. They wanted Angel to lose his soul again, even Jahane. "Tell me why, Leithian. Tell me why you can allow any of this!?" Leithian was the voice of reason among the guardians. She knew he did not want to seen Angel fall again, no more than she did. He had the same reasons as she for wanting Angel's safety.
Leithian turned away from her eyes, not able to meet their impossible depths. He could not let his feelings for her undermine the choices that he had to make. He was no longer just an angel, he was the Powers That Be. With that came obligations that went beyond right or wrong. They had to do what was needed.
Rising slowly from his seat with the other guardians, Leithian calmly walked over to Jedaria. "Walk with me?"
Jedaria felt herself waiver, meeting his warm brown eyes. Dark, shoulder length hair that flowed gently from his angelic face. Tall and strong, with a dark mystery about him. She knew of only one other being that could compete with him in beauty.
There was such sadness and resonance in his expression. Jedaria knew she would not like what he had to say, but she needed to know. "Fine."
Around them was a garden of joy. Heaven was beautiful beyond comparison. Light and colors danced. Souls and Higher beings milled around in contentment. Waves of happiness flowed in a continual river. But Jedaria could not fully enjoy that peace. Her dark half would always be with her. Such irony. In Hell, she could not fully accept the darkness because of her light, while in Heaven, it was the opposite. Forever doomed to balance on that line.
"So, what do I need to answer for you, Jedaria?"
"Why do you need to separate Cordelia from Angel? He needs her." She had felt his pain while trapped under the ocean by his son. The desire for the girl had been staggering and gut wrenching. Jedaria had been pleased to know that they both were finally ready to admit their love, but was thrown back by the betrayal of Connor. She could see the future, when she was allowed to. And only then. Many times she had been given the opportunity to see what would befall others, distressed that she could not alter it in some way. Like when Angel was to be sent to Hell. She had know when he was born.
They finally came to an enclosed garden. A shining blue river flowed ahead of them, while gentle clouds wafted about. The air full of the scents of roses and jasmine. It was a serene place, just imagine a painting by Claude Monet, and you still wouldn't come close.
"And it's for that need that they have to be separated." Leithian hated this. He did not want to see Angel hurt anymore. For 248 years he had witnessed the turmoil that had engulfed the vampire, whether evil or good. He only wanted him to be happy. To finally find inner peace. But that could not be. Not yet.
"Angel cannot loose sight of his destiny. He has a purpose to fulfill and he cannot let his feelings cloud his judgment. It happened before with the Slayer. We had to intervene, Jedaria."
Jedaria shook her head in bewilderment, kneeling down by the placid river before her. Even though she wanted to submerge herself in the tranquility of Heaven, her dismay would not allow her to. "I don't understand. Why can't it be shown to me?"
Leithian gave her one of his sweet smiles, causing her to look away. How can he just smile at me and take my breathe away, she chastised herself. She knew that she and Leithian could not be, and she wanted to run from it as much as she wanted to embrace it.
"I'm not sure why you have not been given the full future of Angel. I've not been given it completely either," he frowned, disturbed by this. He usually was shown everything, but for some reason, it was not to be done.
"Just tell me, okay?" Jedaria sighed in detachment, bringing herself down to sit on the slope of grass. She stiffened when Leithian sat next her, wringing the hem of her silver dress in her hands. Being this close was torture. "Just tell me what you know."
Glancing over at her, he knew what pain was. He loved her more than anything and wanted her to know that. But she couldn't know. His love was to remain within him, shared by no one. Leithian wanted nothing more than to spare her, for she had been subjected to so much already.
"Alright."
****
"Damn it all, Jedaria! You can't!" Leithian shouted, unable to control his anger. Jedaria was rapidly moving away from him, determination had seeped into her body.
"Goddamn it if you don't do something about then I will!"
Jedaria was mad. More than that she was furious! Her mother was a demon, that was an excuse, but this? Heaven was supposed to made up of goodness and wisdom, not treachery. Jedaria stopped and whirled around, whipping her dark hair from her face. She knew her eyes were turning black as she harnessed her Power and she did not care. Movement shifted behind her as she summoned the earth dimension open for her entrance.
"You think I'd let you do that to him? To her? No, never!" Her voice was hoarse from the lump forming as she tried to hold back her tears. How could he deceive her so? Didn't he know she loved him? "And to do that to our-," she stopped herself, violently wiping her tears from her face. He was so beautiful and she hated how it could hurt so much!
"NO!" Jedaria screamed, unable to hold back her fury.
Leithian was crumbling inside. Her reaction to what he had told her was unbelievable. He knew she would be upset, angry even, but this was defiance. She could not go against the Powers That Be. It would be mutiny. "This is fate, Jedaria. Just what can you do about that? Huh?"
She was tired. All throughout her existence she had worked for the Powers That Be, always doing what she was instructed. No matter how much it demeaned her or others, she did what she had to do. She had been created to be their agent- a conduit. But that was over, she was done. Free will was also in her being.
She gave him a trembling smile. Resolve was etched in her eyes. . . and he knew. "Jedaria, no!" Leithian's hand reached out to grab her and missed, just as she stepped into the portal.
"It's my turn to intervene. I no longer work for the Powers That Be. You go to Hell!" And she was gone.
Part 2: Rebellion
So, what does Heaven do when an agent of theirs turns away? Well it varies. Banishment from Heaven, fall from grace, that sort of thing. Damnation. But she cannot be damned. She already is.
Confusing, huh?
I know- stupid Whistler! When’s he going to get to the point already? The whole story is the point. And in this part is the lesson. She may be powerful, but there is a always a greater might.
Los Angeles, 2003
An inferno had raged in the City of Angels. A blazing storm that rained hot, promising damnation. The people of the city had ran in terror, not knowing where to hide because the fire would eat through. No one was safe from a burning sky. How could this be? Where was their God?
“Taking a vacation,” Jedaria murmured, stepping out of the dark alley. Her silver dress that she wore in Heaven was abandoned. Using her psychokinetic ability to rearrange the molecules of dress into black jeans with a blue, satin V-neck shirt. Her black hair tied back the nape of her neck. Jedaria’s dimensional portal had proven true, as always, except for one small detail.
“What the fuck?” Fires? She was is was in the wrong time.
Jedaria had arranged for her portal to deliver her to the exact moment that the tables would make a turn for the worse. Not after.
The inferno had stopped raining from above. All that remained was a city with multiple fires and a community glancing fearfully above, not knowing what would come down again from the sky. Majority of the human populous would be trying to make logical assumptions to what had occurred and trying to assess the damage.
The Beast had arisen, called forth for some unknown purpose.
But just this once, she had wanted to change it all. She wanted to make sure that no more suffering would befall Angel. Jedaria knew that the monster beckoned indefinite terrors to Angel and his crew.
The only way to counter against the Fates was to go back in time, stopping the chain of events that would lead to disaster. She had figured she was on her way when she had paid a visit to Linden Cole’s offices at Wolfram & Hart. One evil down only long enough for another evil to spring forward. These things were like roaches, they’d never be eliminated. Much as she hated to admit it, evil was necessary. But only to an extent. How could good be defined if there was not a negative to counter it?
She had intended to arrive before the Beast was summoned, before he was able to perform his little immolation ritual! Not after!
Jedaria clenched her jaw, shaking her head in frustration and confusion. In all her eons of existence she had never messed up a portal transfer. Ever. I’ve never been rusty before, she mused. What could it be?
Heaven, Eternity
Jahane was worried as she looked at the expression darkening on Leithian’s face. Such a look should never be allowed in Heaven. But then again, neither was betrayal from their own.
Jedaria had turned her back on the Powers That Be, something that had not occurred in eons, not since the division of Lucifer and his dark angels. Seraphs such as Samyael and Daedalus, had warned that the Keeper was an unpredictable danger, due to her demon essence.
Daedalus, a seraph with auguring abilities, would gaze upon the council with his glowing blue eyes reminding them all of how Jedaria resembled the Nephilim. Even though she was created ages before the half-human, half-angels, she nevertheless reminded them of the dangers that great power could do, under the hand of free will. Daedalus believed that a creature of such unparalleled and untapped potential could end all worlds. To Jahane, it seemed that anything that was never understood fully was doomed to be feared, and the Higher realm was no exception.
As the Powers That Be, Leithian he knew had to exact his force with an iron hand, no matter how much he hated it. His eyes were vacant, as if he had lost all reason for being. But there was a resolve in those brown eyes that promised reprimanding to their agent. Jedaria had defected and to what ends she would go was unknown. Precautions had to ensued.
“How is it to be done, Leithian?” As much as Jahane favored the Keeper, she knew that punishment was in order, but she had no idea how they could discipline Jedaria. The girl was part of the greater force.
Leithian felt a weight on his shoulders that he had not felt in over 240 years. She had abandoned him and the cause. Jedaria was always meant to work with the Powers That Be, aiding them in their actions and choices, not matter what the decision was. If the choice was to keep Angel, the Champion away from Cordelia, then that was the verdict. End of discussion. Her defection was against all of them. And me, he thought. His feelings would not encumber his decisiveness. The Keeper would be reprimanded for her actions, there was no way around it. The wrath of Heaven could not be denied.
“We’re taking her dimensional abilities away.”
Jahane glanced over at Leithian, her golden eyes wide in disbelief. It couldn’t be possible! Jedaria was the Keeper, the dimensional portals were hers.
“What? How can that be done? She is the Keeper!”
Leithian knew the doubt that the seraph was exuding. Jedaria had always maintained dimensional control, ever since she had been created. The idea that she would no longer control those abilities, willingly or not, was unfathomable. The incident with Glorificus had been a nightmare, but the Slayer had intervened, preventing more destruction.
“The only way her powers can be removed is if-,”
“It has been agreed, Jahane.” Leithian interrupted, knowing the answer to her question fully. “I’ve been granted the authority to do so.” He knew the consequences of his actions, but it was the only way to preclude Jedaria’s dealings.
They could not allow her power to be used for anything but the purpose of good. Her emotions would make he precarious and they could not risk her using the dimensional plane in her present state. And there was also the threat of Jedaria’s mother, Lilith. The demon goddess would love to manipulate her daughter into giving her access to her energy. Even though he doubted his stubborn love would resort to seeking her mother’s aid.
Jahane could feel the sorrow within the handsome angel, that was her friend and brother. He loved the Keeper more than the waking worlds, yet he was willing to forsake that love for his duty. Her golden eyes welled with tears, as she recalled how much pain the angel and the agent had been through. She knew Jedaria loved Leithian, she only hoped it could withstand the trials that they would all face. Even though dark days lay ahead, the heavenly spectrum of bliss still flowed about the angel and the seraph.
“Leithian?”
“Yes?”
“What exactly is Jedaria?” There were only five beings in all the Lower and Higher realms, who knew the answer that question, and Leithian was one of the five. Jahane and the others had not been allowed the knowledge of the Keeper’s origins.
They knew her mother was Lilith, Queen of Hell and that her other half was that of a Higher being. Even in Heaven, not all questions were answered.
Giving her a small smile, as he wrapped his powerful arm about her golden robed shoulder, he stirred them away from the view of earth. All the while they had been conversing, they had watched the dark alley where Jedaria would appear from her portal in Los Angeles.
“She will reveal it all.”
Jahane felt the willpower surge from Leithian, as he gathered his strength, for Jedaria had just entered the earth realm. With only a mere though, Leithian collected from Jedaria the power she had been born with. The Keeper was now Leithian.
So, as you could gather, I was shocked! A being of that magnitude stripped of her main power?! Don’t underestimate her! She does have other abilities. The Powers don’t mess around when it comes to punishment. You hurt them, they hurt you right back.
Los Angeles, 2003
Gathering her portal abilities, Jedaria prepared for another transport though her gateway. Had she not been so frustrated, she would have laughed at her temporal mistake. She could not let something like that slip from her again. Each step she took had to be made accurately, with no time for mishaps. She needed now, more than ever, to be perfect.
Jedaria furrowed her brow in confusion. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Her portal was not opening.
“No,” she whispered in disbelief, her silver eyes misting in aggravation. Trying again to harness her power, she collided with a barrier again.
Growling in rage, she passionately glared around the dark alley, trying in blind rage to find the reason why her portal would not open. This was unreal! Just moments before, she had appeared right in front of the fucking dumpster outside a Chinese restaurant! Now she couldn’t even go back. They wouldn’t...
Jedaria’s heart was pounding in apprehension as she tried to open the gateway to the Higher realms. She could her feel her eyes going black, then to a blazing silver as she exerted all her energy, tying to open the door. Sweat trickled down the side of her temple as she dug her nails into the palms of her hands. Nothing. Not a goddamn thing!
She was stuck in this realm!
Those sons of bitches, she fumed, making her way outside the alley to streets beyond. They actually had the balls to remove my dimensional abilities. If she could not access Heaven, then she couldn’t even get to her mother’s dominion. Stodgy, egotistical Powers That Be did not trust her! So she turned her back on them! Big deal. That didn’t mean she’d join the Queen Bitch of Hell’s side.
Walking down Sunset Boulevard, she could feel that her other powers were still intact. As she strolled past Mel’s Diner, she flexed her mind and one of the outside tables collapsed.
Still got telekinesis, bet I have teleportation too, she mused.
Even though she felt a small delight in knowing that her other abilities had not been taken, she felt insecure and vulnerable without her dimensions. She was created to control them. That was her purpose.
“Oh, well,” she hissed to herself, shoving past the humans about her. “They gave me another purpose centuries ago.” How could they not understand that she would choose Angel over her duties? She had bended to their will, after much turmoil, and now they could not understand her will- her reasons.
Jedaria knew that Leithian was behind it all. He was the only one with enough courage to go against her in the Powers That Be. In a way, she was glad it was him. It only made hating him all the more easier. He should know how it feels! He should know the pain she was going through!
She felt her eyes well with tears, as she skirted past the buildings and it’s inhabitants, making her way to the Hollywood Hills. Although, Leithian could take her power from her, he needed authority to do so.
“My God has forsaken me.” Jedaria whispered in broken detachment, her pace quickening as she began her climb towards the posh, elegant housing of the wealthy.
There is more than one way to kick Leithian’s ass! There were other ways to the dimensional planes. Angel and Cordelia would have to wait. She needed to have reinforcements, should the time come for it.
Time to go visit Linden Cole for a long, overdue favor. She needed a car to get to where she was going. Who knew how long they would allow her to retain her other abilities if she began to use them too quickly.
Jedaria did not want them to be aware of her intentions. Although, she was not in the Higher realm, she knew by instinct that her fate was being blocked to the augurs. The angelic soothsayers had never been given sanction to view her future, so she doubted they would given the opportunity now.
Jedaria took in her surroundings. Such beautiful homes. Some earned by hard work and dedication, others, by luck and sometimes greed. Like Linny!
And what a home he has, she marveled as came to a halt in front of an iron gate, that guarded the mammoth glass and white marble home behind it. It was a strong gate, that no doubt had electrical and mystical barriers aiding in it’s purpose. No matter, she shrugged.
Giving the gate a powerful roundhouse kick with army booted foot, causing the iron bars to burst open, allowing her access. The mystical energies bouncing off her in harmless waves. Stepping over the crumbled mess of white bars, she couldn’t help but grin in delight. That was fun!
Linden’s gardens were immaculate. Lovely Jillian had excellent taste in flowers, as she surveyed the white roses and jasmine. Such an excellent wife.
Coming to a stop at the massive double doors that served as the main entrance to the estate, Jedaria used the glass as a mirror to check her appearance. Hope Linny doesn’t have heart attack when he sees whose knocking at the door.
Maybe I’ll take his Jag...
She needed a fast car to get to Sunnydale. Teleportation could only be used at the most dire of times, and she knew she had just barely enough of that! Better to use her abilities when the occasion presented itself. And it was always more difficult to teleport with two anyway, even with her enchanced abilities.
It still astonished her to this day, that those monks would turn her Key into a teenaged girl! Of all the things to turn it into, a human! Not that she minded humans, but it made things so much more difficult. Man, she wondered, as she rang the doorbell. What were they thinking?!
TBC