Title: A Little Blue Bottle
Author: Ophelia
Disclaimer: Everything of significance owned by Mutant Enemy, Inc.
Rating: PG13
Summary: Cordelia ponders her paranormal prophylactic (Post Couplet)
Notes: An even shorter fic, this one in Cordy’s POV
Feedback: Oui Oui!! (so the Olympics are making me feel a little international)
It’s sitting on my table.
Talk about a lot to take in during one night. I sleep through the first half of a ballet, I nearly give Angel a happy (well, if I’m being precise, it’s more like he almost gave me a happy…..but whatever, that’s not the point…), I ruin an enormously expensive dress, and I come face to face with my Prince Charming that was supposed to still be back in the fantasy world where I was a Princess. Geez, talk about the end of a dry spell. I go nearly two years without any significant action, and in the span of 24 hours, I start getting it tossed at me from all sides. When did the song “It’s Raining Men” (*sigh* Hallelujah *sigh*) become the soundtrack of MY life. Is this some sort of cosmic joke in response to my unfortunate admission to Wes about the true nature of my relationship with Dennis and the loofah?
It’s sitting on my table, and I swear it’s looking at me.
That one night, nearly a week ago, changed everything. It left me with a fever that I just can’t seem to extinguish. Two men. Two kisses. One sudden, blinding realization of just how lonely I have become, of just how empty my heart suddenly feels. Two men. Can you blame me for assuming that I knew who was causing it? Angel’s life has become my life, but the kiss we shared wasn’t us. We were possessed. It wasn’t us.
It’s sitting on my table, and the candles make the blue glass glow.
It sort of reminds me of Groo’s eyes. Those sweet, trusting, yet disturbingly blank eyes. I can’t express how bizarre his being here is. He was my fantasy, the world I retreated to when I wanted to pretend that my life is simpler. He was back in the land where I was a princess and he was a warrior and love at first sight seemed like the most natural thing in the world. The man who would tell me every thought that crossed his mind (though granted, there aren’t that many), the man who would never ever leave me, the man who believes that I am his true love. And now a man who would cross dimensions to come and find me (I know, I know…technically there are two of those).
It’s sitting on my table, and I have never been so tired of looking at anything in my entire life.
There’s been this fire in my stomach since that night and I’ve been running around like an idiot trying to put it out in the way that seemed most logical. I felt it when Groo and I first kissed. So what if it was already there….that was just left over possession stuff. At least that’s what I told myself. And that second kiss at my apartment? Well, the vision ruined that. I was sure it would have gotten better had the Powers not so rudely interrupted (and I ask you, they couldn’t send a vision during the ballet fiasco?). But the fire in my gut was still there, and my need to do something about it made me feel a desperation I haven’t felt in years. And that’s what brought it into my life. And now….
It’s sitting on my table.
I didn’t see the irony in my sending them both to get it. Not until he handed it to me. I could hardly look at him. I kept chattering on about Groo and the damned nobility in him having to get saved by Angel. Geez. I want to slap myself when I think about the way I kept talking about getting Groo’s clothes off. It was like I could hear myself talking, but I just couldn’t stop the panicked rambling that was coming out of my mouth. I just couldn’t bare the silence. I needed something, anything to keep me from thinking about how different it felt to be patching Groo up instead of Angel. How empty my hands felt, how much my heart wasn’t clenching in my chest. But I still didn’t know. I still didn’t get it. Not until he called me back with just a call of my name and a look in his eyes. No other words were needed. He took my hand, and that’s when the fire began to roar again. I was so busy trying not to gasp from the heat searing through me that I barely noticed the money he was putting in my hand. He sent me away with a look in his eye that only made the flame in me that much more excruciating. And suddenly, my heart was not quite so empty.
It’s sitting on my table, and it’s completely full.
I had to leave. I had no other choice. My mind was racing, and my chest felt like it was going to burst. All this time I never thought it was him. Never did I think that he was the one that lit this fire in me, that made me realize how desperately I don’t want to be alone. And I couldn’t help it, I reached out to touch his heart, to ask him if he needed me. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. My fingertips brushing his chest made me feel things that the most intimate embrace with Groo hadn’t stirred.
He sent me away. He said he didn’t need me, and I’ve been sitting in my kitchen for a week because I can’t go back in and face him. He thinks I am off in the sunshine with Groo. He wants me to have someone… I could see it in his eyes. He wants that for me.
But now I know that I don’t just want to not be alone. I want to be with him