Title: Item Number One
Author: Natauni
Posted: 12-19-2001
Her world, when it came down to it, was a matter of making sure she followed her lists.
They were her comfort, after all; her solidarity and assurance that she wasn't missing anything important amidst the on-again-off again crises that seemed to follow her and her family around. What was she after all, but an office manager…and an overloaded one at that? Was anyone enough of a dumb-ass to believe she pulled that off without being married to both her watch and her day-planner? Yeah right…she'd like to see that one.
She was a bill payer and a medic and a seer and as of recently what basically passed for a mother. Even God had taken a week to create the universe - she didn't see anyone complaining about workaholic tendencies in him…
Moses had had his Yaweh-gifted staff, Arthur had had his sword and Buffy…well Blondie had had…and still had her slayer-powers. Cordelia had her lists: her itineraries were her sanity. She counted on them…though few of the lists were kept anywhere other than her head and even fewer were under headings she could really describe to anyone. There was the 'for the office' file. It held instructions like 'buy various supplies.' They were almost out of Bacitracin and bandages, not to mention she needed to find a polish that wouldn't tarnish the swords in the weapons cabinet. Angel had also recently started to complain the bleach she'd been using as a sanitizer up until the present was irritating irritate his nose… Something about the perfumes being too strong…
Like she was supposed to find something other than lemon or pine scent…why did the vampire insist on 'breathing' in the stuff if it bothered him so much? The man could hang around every kind of demon pus and guts, and yet he found Pledge offensive?
Well he was just out of options, she supposed. He could find himself a clothespin to plug his nose if he felt the need to keep harping on her business-related supply purchases.
That reminded her, the two of them needed to sit down and pow-wow over this month's budget again. She needed to check with him on what he wanted to do in terms of renewing the insurance on his car…they'd spent more than they'd originally intended re-constructing the room next to Angel's suite into an a-joining nursery so unless he had another five hundred dollars hidden in one of his sock drawers, he was gonna have to take a higher deductible for the next six months...
She'd also seen something in 'Your Baby's First Year' about the next set of shots the munchkin was gonna need. Better prepare father and son for the trauma ahead this time. They couldn't afford to scare off another pediatrician. The first two were already getting suspicious.
And that was the majority of her world at the moment. The 'things I have to tell Fred about Wesley because he won't tell her himself' list. The 'daily chores to scramble through before the next vision lays me out on my back' list. The Connor list: who'd have thought a human being that small would require so much effort? She'd started that tally mentally - not to mention on paper, less than two days after he was born. And it was turning out to be a whopper…
First it had been the practical stuff…the bottles and the nuks and the rocking swing…though Angel still didn't seem to see why the later was at all necessary. AI's resident Dad-in-the-blink-of-an-eye was still not sure what to make of the modern day baby conveniences. It had taken her three hours to convince him a diaper-genie was not in fact some kind of otherworldly threat to his son…
The there was the baby himself. Sloping brow Junior also apparently shared his dad's temperament toward sulking. She swore sometimes that the three month old got himself worked up in a snit for no other reason than he didn't think he was getting enough of her attention. He was incredibly jealous of her affections.
He was gonna end up spoiled…there was no escaping that with five adults in his life ready to fawn all over him. Still she wished she knew exactly when Connor had decided she was his personal property… This wasn't what she'd meant when she'd once wished for a possessive, attractive male in her life dammit…
The baby was clingy, albeit only apparently when she was in the room. He had a set of lungs he was all to ready to exercise to get his way…and the others all looked at her like she was some kind of lunatic when she pointed out he might in fact be 'playing' them.
No one would believe her.
Connor had an unfailing way with looking pathetic until it got him exactly what he wanted. The saddest part of the situation though was that his father, at two and a half centuries old, was apparently taking lessons. "But Cordy…" There it was again, that wheedling, falsely downtrodden tone he'd recently realized worked so well on her when she was running on less than three hours of sleep.
Damn that infant. Damn him.
She drew in a deep, will firming breath. "No. Angel. And again just for the record, no." She didn't need to know what exactly he was trying to convince her off this round… she'd already given her final opinion...
His voice was pleading, his lower lip full and sorrowful looking "Come on…It'd be better for you. And for Dennis. Wes has already said he found a spell that could move him here …he'd be with people all day…and if you didn't have to keep running back and forth practically every other night you'd stop looking so tired all the time…you yourself said you're practically living here as it is…"
"Angel I complained that that was what had happened, since it's completely unnecessary. Fred is right down the hall if you ever think Connor's lacking the 'feminine influence' during the five minutes he's without me before he goes down for bed every night. As for his crying lately if you'd stop panicking every time he as much as rubs at the sides of his head…it was a ear infection. Connor's not going to mysteriously come down with rheumatic fever...so you can stop with the guilting...you're teaching him to be a whiner…and he's good enough at it on his own already."
Ouch. That got her the puppy-dog look again, and the kicked one at that. "We just both sleep better when you're here, that's all." He frowned and jiggles the whimpering child in his arms…God they were actually wearing the exact same abandoned face. "Please Cordelia?"
She would not give in. She absolutely refused. Number ten on her 'list to end all lists' was to always maintain her spine in the face of all blatant emotional blackmail. If she didn't than they'd find themselves washing all their underwear in the same load of laundry. Not that Angel didn't know you should wash out silk any way but by hand. It was the principal she was talking about here.
She was Vision Girl not his wife. That was item number two on 'don't you dare forget list.'
Of course she openly acknowledged that particular set of rules hadn't done her much good thus far.
Item number one was that she couldn't ever, ever fall for Angel.
End.