Title: Stronger Than the Death
Author: Luna
Posted: 01-31-2004
Email: Nereida_454@web.de
Rating: PG-13
Category: Angst
Content:
Summary: Cordelia can´t rest in peace after her death.
Spoilers: Through season 5
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: Connor and Kristy were already born in season 2, right after Angel slept with Darla.
Feedback: It´s my first fic, so I´m looking forward to your opinions!
Thanks/Dedication:Part 7
“Where had you been last night?” Angel shouted at Kristy. “You were out. Nobody has allowed you to go out at night.”
“Why do you care, my so-called Daddy?” Kristy asked. “You haven´t cared about me since the whole Jasmine-thing had started! Not about me and not about Cordelia! But if you´re curious, I was out to help Cordy defeating Jasmine. She had called me.”
“What are you talking? Cordelia is dead! DEAD! She´s gone for good and I don´t want to hear anything like that again!” Angel had become furious.
“She´s NOT dead!” Kristy shouted back. “Her soul lives on! And she couldn´t reach you because you had forgotten about her, so the bond between her, you and the others is broken. I was the only person she could reach because I was the only one who was there for her until the end. She killed Jasmine finally last night. And Jasmine said she would have done the same to me what she had done to Cordy. She had needed another body to revive herself and to come back to rule the world.”
Angel was silent and considered if Kristy was saying the truth. The only thought of that possibility bothered him, but he decided to change the subject. “Your new parents will be coming today afternoon.” he said. Angel thought it was the only right thing to give Kristy away. Wolfram & Hart was not the right place for a child to grow up and Angel would never be a good father. So away with the child who didn´t fit in his life.
“Well, I hope they´re good for me, so I´d never have to see you again.” his daughter said bitter. It was like a stake for Angels unbeating heart, but he pushed the feeling away.
***
Roger and Elaine Palmer were on their way to the building of Wolfram & Hart. Both of them thought that it was strange for a law firm and science center to keep children in their house to give them new parents. Did they also have an orphanage since recently?
Elaine and her husband didn´t care much about that circumstances. Elaine has ever wanted to have children, but she was barren. So the only way for them was an adoption.
As they entered the building, Elaine felt uncomfortable. Something was wrong in this house, she felt the aura of something evil. One more reason to take an innocent child out of here. She didn´t say anything to Roger because he´d only laugh. He didn´t believe in her transcendental facultys.
As they reached the adoption departure, a tall man in a black suite crossed their way and said: “Hello. Are you Mr. And Ms. Palmer?”
“Yes,” Roger said. “We want to adopt a child. Are you Mr. Angel?”
“Yes, I am.” the man said smiling. “We have a really charming little girl for you. She´s been waiting for so long get a new home. I hope you don´t intend to adopt a boy?”
“No, that doesn´t matter.” Elaine said quickly. Something on this man bothered her, something wasn´t right. She couldn´t say if it was something evil but something was wrong upon him. “Can we see her?”
“Of course.” Mr. Angel said. “Come with me.”
On their way to see the child Angel said: “The girl is 10 years old. I hope she isn´t too old?”
“No, no.” Elaine said. “As long as she isn´t a 16 year old teenager, it́´s okay.”
As they entered the room, a beautiful little girl was sitting on a chair, waiting to meet her new parents. Elaine was delighted by her pretty long blonde hair and her angelic face. She and her husband smiled and greeted the child.
“What´s your name?” Roger asked.
“Kristy.” the girl answered timidly.
Elaine had already set her heart on this child, but she felt something when she looked at her and that wasn´t something good. Kristy seemed too serious and melancholic in regard to her age. And Elaine also felt clearly that the girl was surrounded by a secret.
“So... we´ve decided to take you home to us.” Elaine said.
“No!” Kristy said determined. After confused gazes from Angel and her new parents, she continued: “You´ll go home with me, otherwise I won´t go with you.”
“Kristy, don´t talk such nonsense!” Angel said angry. “You don´t have a home anymore.”
“I have,” Kristy insisted. “The hotel. Either I can live there or I won´t go with them.”
“Kristy, you can´t live in the past forever.” Angel said. “You have to move on.”
“What hotel?” Roger asked.
“The hotel Hyperion.” Angel answered. “Kristy had lived and grown up there until her parents died in a car accident six months ago.”
“How cruel!” Elaine said shocked. Although she could feel that the man wasn´t saying the truth, she said: “Well, we can have a look at this hotel. It may be better for Kristy to have the remembrances on her parents. What do you think, Roger?”
“I don´t know.” Roger said. “Does it mean we have to move into a old dusty hotel because the child wants us to?”
“Please, Roger. Think of Kristy! It́´s hard enough for her to lose both parents at such a young age.” Elaine begged.
“Okay.” Roger gave in. “We´ll move into the hotel.”
***
After Angel had sent the cleaning staff to the hotel, he drove the Palmers and Kristy to the old house. Kristy felt very melancholic as she remembered the good times she had there with Cordelia and the others. But she was also scared because the cruel Jasmine-thing had happened here too. Tears were starting to fall, but she didn´t allow herself to cry.
“It́´s beautiful.” Elaine said, but she could feel that awful and scary things had happened here, in the past, but also not a long time ago. She also felt that the friendly black dressed man had to do with that. She shivered.
After the formalities were done, Angel said: “I wish you all the best, all of you. Bye, little princess.” He stroked Kristys hair and both, Roger and Elaine, noticed that Kristy wasn´t comfortable with his gesture and that she didn´t like the man.
Now they were in the hotel where Elaine was feeling something strange. It almost felt like something living. Roger didn´t seem to notice but his wife felt that Kristy could feel the presence too and that the girl knew what it was.
As soon as Elaine was alone with the girl, she asked her directly: “Your parents didn´t die in a car accident, did they?”
Kristy looked at her new mother suspicious and because she liked the woman already, she shook her head.
“It´s something transcendental, right? I believe in such things.” Elaine continued.
“I´ll tell you my story.” Kristy said. “But you have to promise not to tell anything. To no one. And you have to believe me. It´s all true though it sounds unbelievable.”
“I promise, my dear.” Elaine said. “And I won´t laugh at you.”
So Kristy took a deep breath and started to tell the woman the whole story.
Part 8
“The tall black dressed man... Angel...” Kristy started, “he´s my father.”
“Really?” Elaine asked confused. How could that be possible? How could a father give his own daughter away without any complications? And why has he done that? Why didn´t he want his child anymore? “That́ s strange. Why has he given you away?”
“I don´t know it exactly.” Kristy answered. “I think that he thinks I don´t fit in his life anymore since he´s working at Wolfram & Hart.”
“And where´s your mother?” Elaine asked. “What happened to her?”
“She died after me and my twin brother were born. Well, she has done suicide.” Kristy said. “I´ve never known her but everyone had said she was beautiful. Her name was Darla.”
“You have a twin brother?” Elaine asked surprised. “Have your father given him away too?”
The girl nodded. “He lives with a family near L.A. I visit him sometimes. He was named Connor by my father, but now his name is Nathaniel.”
“His new parents changed his name?” Elaine was confused again. “Why?”
“They didn´t change it.” Kristy said. “They think he´s their own son and they have remembrances of him they`ve never happened. I don´t know, but I think it´s some kind of spell from Wolfram & Hart. Do you believe me?”
Elaine was scared. What a story! But she encouraged the child to continue.
“My parents... they`re vampires. Darla was such a creature and Angel is the same but he has a soul. He was very nice in the past but now he has changed. I don´t like him anymore. I could think he has lost his soul but it isn´t like that.” Kristy looked up to the woman.
Now, Elaine was shocked. “Vampires? You mean, bloodsucking creatures of the night like in so many movies and books?”
Kristy nodded. “Angel doesn´t kill humans anymore since he has been cursed with a soul but yes, he´s such a creature. I´m a child of two vampires, me and Nat.”
Elaine was shocked. Kristy was a demonchild? But she didn´t seem to be evil. “And you aren´t...?”
“No, I´m human and Nat too.” Kristy continued. “I know, vampires aren´t supposed to have children in a human way, but I´ll explain that later. Nathaniel is older than me though he´s my twin because we had been kidnapped when we were babys and we have grown up in two different dimensions. I was in a fairieland and he was in a hell dimension. Time passed quicker than on earth and it passed quicker in Qourtoth than in Fairieland. So Nat is 19 years old now. He was 16 when he came back and was 7 years old. Connor or Nathaniel, whatever, must never know the truth, so he doesn´t even know that I´m his sister.”
It gets more and more strange, Elaine thought. But she was very interested in Kristys story. “So how it was possible that those vampires had gotten children and why has your father decided to give you away after three years?”
“It was a very deceitful plan of a very powerful demon.” Kristy said. “So I´m coming to the point. It́´s true that someone I loved very much has died though it wasn´t one of my parents like Angel said.” The little girl smiled, but Elaine noticed that there was more sadness in her eyes than before. “It was Cordelia, my best friend, though she was 13 years older than me. She was like a big sister for me, it was something special between us. She was a seer. Cordy received visions of people who needed help. Her friend Doyle passed them on to her before he sacrificed his life. So her, Angel and our other friends had always fixed that. Yeah, they´ve saved so many people from evil demons. Connor had never liked his father. He thought he had killed his foster-father Holtz, the one who kidnapped us and brought him up. Angel hadn´t killed him, but Connor had never believed that. Well, Connor had always have a thing for Cordelia, but one day, Cordelia disappeared. She was fooled by a demon who helped her when she was about to die from the visions. She became part demon, like Doyle, just another kind of demon. So Skip, the demon, promised Cordy to become a higher being and told her to leave this world. But she was sent back from the higher powers. She had amnesia at the beginning, so Connor took his chance to be with her. Her memory came back, but she wasn´t the same person anymore. She slept with my brother. That was her destruction. She got pregnant and evil.” Kristy shivered at the thought of Cordelias cold hateful eyes. Nothing had remained of her friend anymore. “After she brought the evil goddess, called Jasmine, to the world, Cordelia had fallen into a coma. She had been lying in that coma for six months. Then she has died without waking up again.” Kristy had started to cry. "Connors birth was also arranged by Jasmine, a way for her to come to this world. And she was planning to do the same to me what she did to Cordy."
Elaine was speechless. Kristy had also told her that Cordelia had given birth to a full grown black woman and that she was in a coma and didn´t need food and water as long as the demon goddess was alive. This long story was more than unbelievable, but Elaine knew for sure that the girl was saying the truth.
“Do you believe me?” the child asked hopefully.
“Yes, I believe you.” Elaine said. “It´s an unbelievable and dreadful story, but I can feel that you´re not lying to me.”
“Thanks.” Kristy said relieved. “It´s the main part of my story, but it goes on.”
“I´m anxious.” the woman said.
“Cordelia is still with me.” Kristy said. “Two days ago, in the night of the day when she has died and been buried, she called me when I was asleep, but it wasn´t a dream. I was on the other side with her and I could hug her like I did so often when she was still alive. In her house lived a ghost, Dennis, I met him too. And Doyle, the friend of Cordy who had given her the visions. He was a good guy, he didn´t want Cordelia to die. He didn´t know what would happen. Cordy asked me to help her defeating the evil creature who killed her. Yeah, we did it, Jasmine had gotten what she deserved. Now Cordelia is here, her ghost lives here and Dennis too. It́´s the reason why I wanted to move to this hotel. I´ll never leave her alone again.”
Now Elaine knew what the presence she had felt since they moved in this hotel was. Ghosts, restless souls. What would Roger say? He had never believed in such things. But she had to tell him about Kristys story. Restless souls were always tortured souls. She knew about Cordelias fate, but what happened to Dennis?
So she asked: “How did Dennis die? Why can´t his soul rest in peace?”
“His own mother had killed him. She had walled him in. Living! Can you imagine that? You won´t ever do something like that to me, will you? Please, promise me that you won´t do that?” Kristy pleaded.
“Oh my god, no!” Elaine said shocked. “And I´ll also never leave you alone in that way your father did. I love you already too much.” Elaine hugged the girl and she couldn´t understand how her father could give such a remarkable child away. But despite of his soul he was a demon, no-one knew what went on in the heads of such creatures.
And Kristy knew that she could trust her new mother. She had a family again. Everything would be alright now. And Cordelia would never leave her again.
Part 9
Elaine has told Roger about what Kristy had told her. He shook his head incredulously. “It´s pure nonsense what the child is talking about. “ he said. “Vampires ,demons and ghosts don´t exist.”
“But Kristy doesn´t lie. I can feel it.” Elaine insisted. “I also had felt that something was wrong with this man, Mr. Angel.”
“I think the girl has suffered a trauma.” Roger said. “It́ s terrible for a child to lose both parents.”
“I don´t know,” Elaine said. “I have a feeling that it́ s true what she said.”
“You and your feelings.” Roger carped. “It́ s so stupid. Stop to believe in such nonsens!”
Elaine sighed. She knew it was senseless to discuss such things with her husband. But sooner or later he´ll see what́ s going on here, she thought.
*
Kristy was sitting in her room, on the bed with her dog Frodo. Roger and Elaine entered the room to talk about the ghosts with her.
“Dogs don´t belong in the bed.” Roger said severely. “It́ s insanitary.”
“But he´s been sleeping in my bed since he was a little puppy. He´d be very sad if he wouldn´t be allowed to do that anymore. Please, Roger!”
“It́ s okay.” Elaine said. “Frodo can lie in the bed. But I´ll have to change the sheets more often.”
“Kristy, why are you talking about and even with the two ghosts all the time?” Roger asked. He had heard the girl talking several times on her own and she was laughing and sometimes arguing. “They don´t exist!” The man was too realistic to confess that he also had already heard noises when no-one was there, felt slight wind breezes when all the doors and windows were closed and smelled the sweet scent of roses and lilys they brought with themselves. It was kind of creepy for someone who has never believed in ghosts and restless souls.
“They DO exist!” Kristy insisted. “They´re my best friends!”
“Sweetie, you´re nearly 11, not 5 years old. You should have real and living friends.”
“They´re real and living!” Kristy said. “Just because their bodies don´t exist anymore, doesn´t that mean that they don´t exist at all.”
“Kristy is right.” Elaine said. “There are things we can´t see, but they´re real. I can feel the presence of those unlucky and tortured souls too.”
“You mean, we live here with creatures they can watch every move of us, hear every word we speak and we never know if they´re here right now?” Roger asked shocked. “If this is the case, I won´t stay here.”
“Roger, your behaviour is ridiculous!” Elaine said angrily. “Once they were people like you and I, young people with so many dreams, plans and hopes and they never got the chance to fulfill them. I feel very sorry for them!”
“You wouldn´t talk like that if you had known Cordelia.” Kristy said to Roger. “I can´t say the same about Dennis because he was already dead since over 50 years when I got to know him, but all I can say is that Cordelia and Dennis are wonderful people! I should them introduce to you.”
“How will you do that?” Roger asked confused. “They´re dead!”
“No problem.” Kristy smiled. “Cordy!” she called out.
After a while Roger and Elaine noticed the a slight breeze filled with the scent of flowers.
“Do you mind if I introdruce you and Dennis to my new parents and if I show them your pictures?” she asked.
Then she heard Cordelias voice in her head: “No, I don´t mind. And I´m pretty sure Dennis doesn´t mind either. Especially Roger should get to know us, so he doesn´t have to be afraid anymore.”
“It́ s okay.” Kristy turned to her parents. “You surely want to know who our invisible fellow-lodgers are.”
Part 10
Angel was sitting in his living room and thought about Kristy. He had given her away to give her a new life, like he did with Connor. The only difference was that Kristy could remember everything about her old life. It wasn´t necessary to take her memories away because she didn´t got crazy like Connor did. But she felt a lot of pain, Angel realized now. The only reason why she wanted to live in the hotel was Cordelia. She needed the memories on her. The vampire considered if Kristy was right about Cordelia and if the final battle with Jasmine really had happened. He decided to believe it and it suddenly dawned upon him. What had he done? What he has become to? It began with the moment when Cordelia went evil. Later as she had fallen into the coma, he didn´t care and hadn´t visited her in the hospital, not even once. How could he be like that? Cordelia had been his best friend, he had loved her! He also wasn´t mourning for her, even at her funeral he had stayed as cold as ice and hadn´t even shed one tear. This wasn´t him anymore! How has he come so far? His daughter was right to hate him! He had also left that lovely little girl alone in her pain about the loss of Cordy. She would have needed him and his comfort so much, but he didn´t care. He had become a bastard, a heartless idiot! 'I´ve lost my mission’, he thought. It couldn´t go on this way, it had to end! And Angel made a decision.
*
Kristy was on her way to visit her brother Connor/Nathaniel. She ringed on the doorbell and his father opened.
“I guess you´re here to see Nathaniel.” he said friendly.
“Yes, I am.” she replied. “Is he here?”
“You´re lucky, he´s just about to go get ready for a date with his girlfriend.” the man answered.
“Oh...,” Kristy said a bit embarassed. She didn´t knew that her brother had a girlfriend. Why hadn´t he told her? Surely he had thought it wasn´t important for a child.
Then Connor came down the stairs and as he noticed her he said: “Hi, Kristy. I´m sorry I haven´t much time. My girlfriend Alice will be coming every moment.”
“Nat, I want to tell you something.” Kristy said pleading. “Come on.” He followed her outside the house.
“Cordelia, my dead friend, is still with me. She had visited me in my dreams. And now I moved into the hotel where she used to live. I have new parents now. They´re really nice. Cordelias ghost lives in the hotel. She has given this to me.” She showed him the beautiful blue stone.
Nathaniel didn´t know what to think, if he should believe her or not. Maybe the little girl was traumatized. Not wanting to hurt her, he said: “Wow! That́´s sweet. Send my regards to her though we hadn´t known each other.”
“I will.” Kristy smiled. If you only knew, she thought.
A few minutes later, a young blonde girl around 17 or 18 years old neared them and greeted Nathaniel. They kissed each other. “Can we go?” Alice asked.
“Yes.” Nat/Connor answered. He turned to Kristy and said. “We´re going to the cinema. See you soon.”
“Bye, Nat.” Kristy said. She watched after the couple until she couldn´t see them anymore.
*
“I thought Tracy were your only little sister?” Alice asked curiously.
“Kristy isn´t my sister.” Nathaniel replied. “She´s my little friend. I got to know her when I played with her dog. She visits me sometimes and we play together. I wish I had a sister like her.”
“Really?” Alice looked at her boyfriend. “She´s looking a bit like you.”
“That must be coincidence.” Nat smiled but inside himself Alice´s comment confused him. He hasn´t noticed the resemblance between Kristy and himself until now. Could that be possible? Why not, he thought, it´s nothing unusual. So he decided to forget that matter.
*
Kristy sat in her room. She had a little talk with Cordelia.
“You must never tell Connor the truth.” Cordy´s voice said in the little girls head. “Never.”
“I know.” Kristy answered seriously. “I won´t ever tell him.”
“I want you to do me a little favor.” Cordelia said. Kristy looked up. “Everything.” she promised.
“Stop hating Angel. At least not so much like you do it.” Cordelia said seriously. “He once was a good guy and you shouldn´t forget that. And I know he´ll realize one day what he has become to.”
“I can´t help hating him.” Kristy said sadly. “I hate how cold he is in regard to your death. I can´t stand it, it´s so awful!”
“I know, it´s hard for you, but you have to try to forgive him.” Cordelia pleaded. “Please do it for me!”
Kristy hesitated, then she nodded. “Okay, I´ll try it.” she said. It was really hard for her to forgive her father but if her friend wanted her to she would try it. So she decided to visit him.
Part 11
Angel drove around in his car. First he was on his way to see Connor. Of course only to watch him because the young man mustn´t know about him. As he reached his son´s new home, he saw Connor coming home. He kissed his girlfriend goodbye. Connor. His son. He failed him. The boy only became crazy because of him. He looked away when his son needed him the most. No-one of both really wanted to go in peace with each other and Angel hadn´t made another try. But Connor was in peace now with the world and himself even when it wasn´t his real life. So Angel turned away after one last intense look on his son and drove in direction to the hotel. He climbed up the firestairs to take a look in Kristys room. The little girl was talking with Cordy and Dennis. Sometimes she giggled, maybe at something they said. Angel sat there, hidden in the darkness and watched his lovely little daughter. He could hardly believe what a little beauty she already was. He also looked away when his daughter cried herself into sleep every night, only comforted by her dog, while Cordelia was in a coma and later after her death. He had failed her too. She hated him now and Angel didn´t need to wonder why. He took also one last look on Kristy, making sure to never forget her face and climbed back down the stairs. Then he was on his way to the worst place of all: Cordelias grave.
*
Kristy said in the living room with her parents. A photo album was laying on the table. The girl took it and pulled out carefully a picture of Cordelia. It was her favorite picture. Cordy was sitting on the bench in the garden of the Hyperion. She looked beautiful and her smile was brighter than the sun. It was taken two years ago.
Kristy hesitated for a moment, then she handed the photography to Elaine. “This is Cordelia.” she said.
Her adoptive mother looked at the picture. “Oh my god!” she called out. “Such a lovely young woman! It́´s so cruel.”
“She always wanted to become a movie-star,” Kristy said, “but it never happened.” Tears ran down her cheeks again. Elaine handed the picture to Roger.
“She was beautiful, wasn´t she?” Kristy asked.
Roger looked at the picture and nodded. “Yes, she was a beautiful woman.” he answered. “But her ghost in here...well, I think I can get used to it.” Kristys adoptive father smiled.
“And this is Dennis.” Kristy said while she took another picture. It was very old and in black and white. Her parents watched the picture and Elaine said: “He was so young.”
“But he would be over 70 years now.” Roger stated. “Kristy said he died 50 years ago.”
“That́ s right.” Kristy said. “But he can´t find eternal peace, so doesn´t Cordelia. And this is Doyle.” She showed her parents the last picture.
“He isn´t here at the hotel and I hadn´t known him but I met him in my dream with Cordelia and Dennis and he was very nice.” The girl smiled.
Her adoptive parents looked at Doyles picture and agreed that he was also a lovely young man. Rogers fear began to fade. He wasn´t as afraid of the two ghosts anymore as he was in the beginning. He began to understand that they´re no monsters or creepy creatures but that they once were normal people with a cruel fate.
*
Kristy was in her room and then she sensed that Cordelia was beside her. She heard the voice of her dead friend in her head.
“Kristy, go to the cemetary, to my grave!” Cordy ordered. “Angel is on his way there and he´s in danger. He´ll do a big stupidity! I hope you can stop him, but at least you have to try it! Try to save your father!”
“I´ll try it.” the girl answered desperately. And I´ll forgive him.”
“Hurry up!” Cordelia said. “And don´t go alone, take your new parents with you.”
Kristy nodded, left her room and made her way down the stairs. She had to save Angel and hoped it wasn´t already to late.
Part 12
Angel was sitting on the floor before Cordelias gravestone and tears were running down his cheeks. He stroked the cold hard stone as if it were Cordys head.
“Cordelia, I´m so sorry.” he whimpered. “I should have cared about you and I should have tried to save you, but I was such an asshole. I should have at least visited you. Maybe Kristys love didn´t have enough power to bring you back.” He sniffed. “I hate myself. I hate my whole life, Cordelia. I don´t wan´t to feel guilty anymore. It́´s unbearable. Cordy, I want you to know that I´ve always loved you. But I´m not the same person you had known anymore and I know that I´ll never be again. I was so blind and ruthless. But it will come to an end now.”
Angel took the stake from under his trenchcoat and held it right to his heart. “My beautiful, lovely Cordelia. I have failed you. I can´t live with this guilt anymore.” He kissed the gravestone. Guilt, grief and despair came over him and he felt like someone had ripped out his unbeating heart. “Goodbye, Cordy, my love. Maybe we´ll meet again, then you can kick my ass.” He smiled sarcastically. “So, farewell, my dear. I´ll never forget you.”
Then he looked to the moon and the stars while he was ready to stake himself.
*
Kristy and her adoptive parents had reached the cemetary. First Roger began to argue and wanted an explanation, but Elaine had said: “We want to listen to the dead girl. When Kristy says she had told her that her father is in danger, I believe her. Cordelia exists and dead people know more than the living ones.”
Roger, still unwilling to go but satisfied, shrugged and followed his wife and his adoptive daughter.
They reached Cordelias grave and saw the man from Wolfram and Hart sitting here, crying and saying remorseful words to his dead friend. He turned around to the two adults but he didn´t saw his daughter who was approaching herself from behind as quite as possible to stop him.
Elaine gasped. She had never seen so much pain in someones eyes. The coldness Mr. Angel had at Wolfram and Hart was completely gone. Only pain, grief, guilt and despair had remained. He was ready to stake himself.
*
Angel saw the to people standing before him. Kristys new parents! What were they doing here? It doesn´t matter, Angel thought and stabbed the wooden stake through his own heart. The last thing he heard was a sweet voice: “Daddy, no!” And the last thing he saw was the lovely little gold-haired creature standing right before him. He thought that an angel had appeared before him. Why should an angel come to such an evil creature like him? “I forgive you.” the angel said. On the edge of death he didn´t notice anymore that the young angel was his daughter. Then everything went dark and he didn´t hear and see anything anymore.
*
As Kristy reached her father, he was about to stab the stake through his heart. “Daddy, no!” she called out, but it was too late. “I forgive you.” she said softly, hoping he could still hear her last words to him. A few seconds later, Angel turned to dust right before his daughters eyes. Kristy stood there in shock, so did Roger and Elaine. “This... it´s impossible...” Roger stuttered after he had seen how the man has turned to dust right before his eyes. “How could this happen?”
“Kristy was right.” Elaine answered. “He was a vampire.”
A few minutes later, Kristy had recovered from her shock and said: “I need something to put the ashes in. I want a funeral for him in his homeland, in Ireland. Can we do this?”
“You want to travel to Ireland to bury him?” Roger asked unbelieving.
“It́´s beautiful there.” the girl said. “And I want to give my father his last honour for the man he once had been.”
Elaine agreed. “A little trip to Ireland would be nice.” she said. So the decision was made.
But Kristy was very sad and unhappy. She couldn´t save her father like Cordy wanted her to. Would her friend forgive her failure? She had tried to save Angel, but she didn´t make it in time. It was a few seconds too late. “Please forgive me, Cordelia.” she muttered to herself. “I didn´t want him to die.” That was right. She didn´t hate Angel anymore, but it was too late.
Part 13
Kristy was in her room, crying. “Cordelia! Say something!” she pleaded. “You don´t have to forgive me, but please, say something to me!”
The little girl felt a slight breeze and then she heard Cordys voice. “You tried it.” she said. “That́´s what counts.”
“I killed him!” Kristy shouted. She thought it was her fault because she had hated Angel so much. “How can you forgive me!”
“No, you didn´t.” said Cordelia with her calm voice. “You had only opened his eyes.”
“But if I hadn´t said those things to him he wouldn´t have killed himself.” the girl sobbed.
“Someone had to tell him in what a bad way he had changed.” Cordelia reassured her. “But he wasn´t strong enough to deal with it and to go back to his mission.”
“We go to Ireland next week. We´ll pour Angels ashes into the lake of his homeland.” Kristy said. “I wish you could have gone with us. I wish we could go there together.” She smiled sadly.
“I can watch over you if I want to.” Cordy said. “I´ll be with you there, I promise.”
Kristy smiled. “Thank you.” she said.
*
Kristy didn´t go to school to school while she were at Wolfram & Hart, but since she lives with her adoptive parents, she has gone to school again. It was a good feeling, a normal feeling. She has also found a few friends. Her best friend was Annabell. The skinny dark-haired girl was a year younger than Kristy, next month will be her 10th birthday and Kristy was only two months away from her 11th birthday.
One day, Annabell visited Kristy at home in the hotel. She was very impressed how big it was in there.
“Wow!” the little girl said. “I wish I could also live in such a big house.”
“We have a lot of rooms here. You can choose one.” Kristy joked.
Annabell smiled. “Thanks, but I don´t think my parents will allow it.”
“It was just a joke.” Kristy laughed. Suddenly, the two children felt a gentle breeze in the room. A piece of paper fell to the floor. Annabell flinched and looked around wide eyed.
“Don´t be afraid, it́´s just the wind.” Kristy reassured her friend and stood up to close the window.
“But it didn´t came from the window.” the younger girl said confused. “And the door is closed.” She grinned. “Do you have a ghost in here?”
“Maybe, who knows?” Kristy said and smiled knowing.
“It́´s creepy.” Annabell said. “I´ve been afraid of ghosts since I was very tiny.”
“Why are all ghosts supposed to be evil?” Kristy asked. “They once were people like you and me. But someone had hurt them very much in their lives, so they can´t rest in peace.”
“How do you know so much about ghosts?” the brunette girl asked her friend.
“Elaine is interested in such things.” Kristy answered. “She tells me very much about ghosts.”
Annabell nodded. “Well, I have to go,” she said. “My mum will be angry if I come home too late.”
Kristy walked with her friend to the door. “Bye, Annabell. See you on Monday at school.”
As Annabell was gone, Kristy began packing her stuff for the trip to Ireland tomorrow. She was looking forward to see that beautiful country, but she was also sad because her father soon would rest in peace in the lake there forever.
Part 14
Now, Kristy and her parents were in Ireland. They were riding on the lake on a small boat. Kristy held the urn with ashes of her father in her small hands. She opened it and poured the ashes into the water of the lake. The girl was crying.
“Farewell, my dear Daddy.” she said between her sobs. “You once had been a good man and maybe you´ll become better again where-ever you are now. I´m sure you will. Maybe you´ll meet Cordelia again. Your bad change is the proof that you can´t live without her. Maybe I can persuade her to let you in, but I don´t think she´ll forgive so soon.”
She smiled bitter. “Cordelia has to decide what to do with you if she can reach you. But in my opinion you two should come together again. You have to apologize to her for what you have done.” She giggled a bit. “Well, rest in peace now. I love you, Daddy.” The ashes was gone now. Resting in the lake for all eternity.
“Are you okay?” Elaine asked and looked at her daughter concerned. The little girl looked beautiful today with her long golden pigtails and the dress which looked like from the 19th century.
“Yes,” Kristy answered. “I didn´t like him in his last couple of months anymore, but he was my Daddy and I will ever love him.”
The girl looked up to the cloudy sky and thought of Cordy who had promised to watch over them. She smiled. “Thank you. But we have to talk about Angel when I´m home again.”
*
Kristy was sitting in her room. She could feel that Cordelia was here.
“Cordy, I have to talk with you.” she began. “It́´s about Angels soul.”
Kristy heard the voice of her dead friend. “He´s between two worlds now. I can´t let him in, not now. But next year, on the day of his death, he can come to us.”
“That´s okay.” Kristy laughed. “He has to be punished a bit for what he had done.”
“Right,” Cordelia answered. “We won´t make too easy for him.”
Kristy smiled. Cordelia and Angel would see each other again. Not now, but it will happen. The girl grinned at the thought how Cordy would rant at Angel for the stupid and possibly evil things he had done.
She had to call at Wolfram & Hart to inform the others about Angels death, Kristy thought. Though she didn´t want to have anything to do with them anymore, it was her duty to tell them.
*
Angel was at a dark place. He didn´t know where above and below or left and right were. Only pure darkness was surrounding him. Would he drift through the darkness for all eternity? Was this the punishment for his mistakes? He thought of his friends who were still at Wolfram and Hart, surely already worrying about him. But he would never come back again. But mostly, he thought of Cordy. He had loved her, but it was much too late as he realized it. He had failed her. She once was the most important thing in his life, but he didn´t cared about her being in a coma or even about her death. Now he knew that he was only pretending to others and even himself to not care. The guilt was too big, so he had repressed all his feelings and even the fact that Cordelia once had meant the world to him. He had hoped that he could work things out with her, that he just had to die himself, but it wasn´t as easy. Would his soul live in eternal unbearable guilt now, never seeing his Cordy again, just to say that he was sorry and that he loved her?
*
Fred, Wesley, Gunn and Lorne now knew about Angels suicide. Kristy had called to tell them what happened. They were very sad and they also felt the guilt now for not caring about Cordy. Everyone of them knew that Kristy wasn´t lying when she said that she was still in contact with Cordelia.
“It´s so sad that we can´t get in contact with Cordelia.” Fred said. “We should have more cared about her, maybe we would be able now to talk with her too.”
Lorne nodded. “I know. I also would love to talk to our little princess sometimes.”
All of them thought the same. They once had loved their friend so much, but after her death, Kristy, Angels wonderful daughter, a 10 year old girl, was the closest person to Cordelia and would ever be. Nothing could change that anymore and that fact hurt more than anything.
*
One year after Cordelias death:
Kristy had just fallen asleep. She would be sleeping for 24 hours now. The girl had told that her parents, so they wouldn´t worry when she doesn´t wake up. She started dreaming.
In her dream she wandered through the cloudy fog like she did a year ago but this time she wasn´t scared. Cordelia, Dennis and Doyle were waiting for her. She was so looking forward to see her friends again.
After some time, she saw three figures standing there. The girl began to run. As Kristy reached her three dead friends a bright smile lit up her face. Cordelia was the first. Kristy hugged her very tightly.
“Cordy, I´ve missed you.” she said, her eyes brighter than the sun. Cordelia held the child away from her, on her face the most beautiful smile Kristy had ever seen.
“You´ve gotten big.” Cordy said to the 11 year old girl. Kristy had really grown a few inches. She only nodded.
Then Kristy asked: “How have you been? Have you heard about Angel?”
Before Cordelia could answer, Kristy heard someone clearing his throat. Both girls turned around and saw Doyle and Dennis. They had almost forgotten about them.
“Oh sorry,” Kristy said. “I had known Cordelia personally when she was alive, but you two are also my friends.” She went to the two young men and hugged Dennis. Doyle was the last.
“Nice to see you again, little lady.” Doyle said.
“Yes and every year you get more beautiful.” Dennis said smiling. The young girl blushed.
“Back to Angel.” Cordy interrupted their smalltalk. “I´ll take him here today. He´s still between two sides but now it́´s time to redeem him. He has atoned enough for losing his path.”
“Really?” Kristy was very excited. “́I´ll see daddy again?”
Cordelia nodded. “Yes, he´ll be reunited with me, forever.”
Kristy was very pleased about this news. Kristy will be speaking with her father again and Angel and Cordy will be united forever.
“Okay, let´s go!” Cordelia said. She turned to the two men. “Are you ready?” They nodded.
Then Doyle, Dennis and Cordy took each others hands and closed their eyes. They mumbled some words in a strange language and Kristy wondered how they knew the magic formula for bringing Angel here.
Suddenly a big blue light was shining and a strong windblow brought Kristy to fall on her knees. Dennis rushed to her and helped her to her feet. Their eyes met. When I´m a four or five years older... she thought but stopped there. Dennis was dead, she could never be together with him! “Thanks.” she said to him and smiled timidly.
Then a big figure was moving through the fog towards the girl, the woman and the two men.
It was Angel. “Daddy!” Kristy squeaked.
As Angel reached them, he sank down to his knees, crying. “I´m sorry,” he stammered between his sobs. “... soo sorry.”
Cordelia watched him silently, then she said: “I forgive you, Angel.”
Angel looked up to his former best friend. Then he saw his daughter. “Kristy.” the vampire whispered. Then he flinched and looked shocked. “Are you...?”
“No, I´m not dead.” the girl reassured her father. “Cordelia invited me. I can come here on her death day every year. I can visit her when I´m dreaming.”
Angel nodded relieved, then he looked at Cordy, his tearful eyes full of pain and guilt. “I hate myself.” he said. “Please, Cordy, hate me. Punish me.”
“You´ve already gotten your punishment.” the young woman said. “But that doesn´t mean I´m not mad at you. You are weak. You prefered to die instead to fight and get back on the right path.”
“I couldn´t live anymore with this guilt and I wanted to see you again.” Angel explained full of despair. “I have failed my mission, I have failed you.”
“Yes, you have.” Cordelia said softly. “But you had also done many good deeds. You were a stupid bastard lately, but it wasn´t too late to change that. It́´s never too late, but now it is because you don´t live on earth anymore.”
“You´re right, I´m weak ... without you. I need you, Cordy.” Angel said. “I´ve always needed you. And I ... I...” he stopped.
“What?” Cordelia raised an eyebrow.
“I ... love you.” The vampire breathed out. “I love you so much.”
Cordelia smiled, then the expression on her face turned sad. “I could say I love you too, but now I can´t. You´ve disappointed me. Maybe one day, but not now. I can´t make it too easy for you. But it doesn´t matter, we have all time in the world, all eternity.”
Angel smiled slightly. “Thank you, Cordy. I know, I don´t deserve you, but I hope you can give me a second chance.”
Cordelia smiled. How Angel had missed her beautiful smile! Now, he could see it again and her eyes were brighter than all the stars. He got up to his feet. Then he couldn´t hold it back anymore. He pulled Cordy in a tight hug and laid his cheek upon her silky hair.
The young woman hesitated, but then she hugged the former vampire back. After an endless moment, both pulled back and their lips met. It was a tender but passionate kiss.
Kristy, Dennis and Doyle smiled. “I have to admit that I´m a bit jealous, but happy for them.” Doyle said.
Kristy was happy. Now she could spend the whole day with her father and her friends in heaven. And Angel and Cordelia had finally found each other, ́´til the end of all eternity.
THE END