Title: Somebody To Love
Author: Luckylyn
Posted: 11-06-2003
Email:
Rating: R
Category: Season 3 BTVS
Content: B/A (don’t kill me. It won’t last), C/W, C/A eventually
Summary: What if Cordy and Angel became friends on BTVS?
Spoilers: Season 3 BTVS
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Just Fic, Midnight Tempest
Notes: This fic begins after that episode where Buffy breaks up with Angel after he pretends to lose his soul to trick Faith.
Feedback:
Thanks/Dedication:Part 8
Angel stayed up all night wondering through Sunnydale killing demons. He went back and forth between telling himself that not kissing Cordelia was the right thing to do and then cursing himself out for not just grabbing her so he could kiss her senseless.
Cordy spent the evening alone in her motel room watching tv instead of sleeping. She kept wondering if she should have just let him kiss her and then she’d push those thoughts aside. Once upon a time Cordelia would have enjoyed stealing away Buffy’s boyfriend but after what happened with Xander and Willow Cordy didn’t want to be that girl anymore.
Just because Angel was attracted to her didn’t mean he loved her and Cordy wanted him to love her. Cordy thought about avoiding him but then she stopped herself. Cordy wasn’t a coward, and Angel was her friend. She decided that their attraction for each other was not going to get in the way of their friendship.
***
Two days after their almost kiss, Angel was glad to see Cordy standing by herself outside the library but he had no idea what to say to her.
“Sorry I tried to kiss you”, “Sorry I didn’t kiss you.”
Neither of those sounded right to Angel’s hears so he simply said, “Hello.”
Cordy jumped because she hadn’t realized he was behind her.
She playfully slapped him on the arm and said, “I’m buying you a bell.”
Angel smiled at her and then started to fidget. Cordy smiled at his nervousness.
“Angel, last night’s not a big deal,” Cordy reassured him. “Nothing happened and nothing will happen.”
Angel was surprised that he was annoyed rather than relieved by her insistence that nothing was going to happen between them. Something was already happening it was just a question now of what they were going to do about it. Angel realized Cordy wanted to ignore it, and he realized at that moment he didn’t want to let her.
“Something might happen,” he said looking at her intently.
Cordy felt uncomfortable with him staring at her but refused to back down.
“It can’t happen Angel,” Cordy said. “You’ve got a girlfriend remember, and I’m not going to be road kill on you and Buffy’s road to love.”
He didn’t have a good response to that. He wanted Cordy, and he wanted Buffy. But he couldn’t have them both. Angel needed time to make up his mind, and he didn’t want to hurt Buffy or Cordy in the process.
“Okay,” Angel said walking into the library.
“Okay?” Cordy repeated following behind Angel.
“I don’t want you to be road kill either,” He replied smiling at her hesitantly.
Cordy smiled back but couldn’t help being disappointed that he’d given in so quickly. Angel frowned slightly when he realized her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Unfortunately Willow, Giles, and Xander were all in the library, and Angel and Cordy couldn’t talk.
***
It was awkward when Buffy entered the library. She was angry with Angel for the way he dismissed her at dinner over the weekend. She’d hoped Angel would approach her and apologize, but this was the first she’d seen him in two days. Everyone was gathered at the table doing research, and Angel sat alone on the steps. He looked up when she entered the room, but she couldn’t read his expression. Buffy was terrified she was losing him, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
“Hey guys,” Buffy said refusing to look at Angel.
Giles then went over the plan for patrol that night.
“Cordy can do the bait thing and then I’ll just do the slay thing,” Buffy said.
“I’m bored with being the bait,” Cordy said. “Angel’s been training me. I can kill stuff now”
“Angel’s being training you?” Willow asked surprised.
“But you had the whole screaming and running away thing down pat,” Xander replied.
“Better that than the slayer’s Bitch Boy routine,” Cordy said and then she turned to Angel. “I can totally kick ass, right Angel?”
“Well, you did take out my lamp that time. It didn’t see you coming,” Angel dead panned.
He smiled when Cordy glared at him and easily dodged the book she threw at him.
“Can we please not throw the priceless texts like footballs please?” Giles chastised.
“I’ll get you later,” Cordelia promised as Angel smirked at her.
“Whatever,” Buffy said irritated. “Let’s just get patrol over with.”
So it was Buffy, Angel, and Cordy walked together through the cemetery. Cordy walked ahead while Buffy and Angel kept a certain distance so that Cordy could be bait. Angel couldn’t talk his eyes off Cordy, and he was acutely aware that Buffy was watching him.
“What happened after dinner the other night?” Buffy asked him.
“We should talk later and focus now on patrol,” Angel said.
Buffy stopped in her tracks.
“Patrol never stopped us from talking or making out in the past why should now be different?” Buffy said. “What the hell is going on with you and Cordelia?”
“She’s my friend,” Angel replied and started walking again.
“But she’s Cordelia,” Buffy said. “What do you guys even talk about?”
“A lot of things,” Angel explained.
“You’re shutting me out Angel. It’s not fair,” Buffy said. “I want to be the one who makes you laugh, and I want to be the one you have private jokes with. You don’t trust me.”
“It’s not about trust,” Angel said getting angry.
“Then what’s it about?” Buffy asked.
That’s when they heard Cordy’s scream.
Part 9
On hearing Cordy’s scream, Angel ran faster than Buffy had ever seen him move before. Angel cursed himself for getting distracted when he should have been watching Cordelia. There were four vampires and one was pining Cordy to the ground draining her blood. Angel ripped him off her and then tackled the others. Buffy was shocked because before she could even step in the help him Angel had killed all four vampires.
“Cor,” Angel said as he helped her off the ground.
“Let’s get her back to her hotel,” Buffy suggested.
“She needs first aid,” Angel said. “I’ll take her to my place.”
He carried Cordy in his arms to the mansion. Her clothes were torn and covered in her blood. Buffy grabbed the first aid kit and began examining her wounds.
“I don’t think she’d like it if you were here when I do this,” Buffy said.
Angel reluctantly left Buffy and Cordy alone in his bedroom. Buffy then removed Cordy’s clothes and treated her scratches and her neck wound.. She covered her in one of Angel’s blankets. Buffy was surprised to find Angel was standing by the door. She’d expected him to be downstairs.
“She’s still unconscious,” Buffy explained. “Her neck got the worst of it. The scratches aren’t deep.”
“This shouldn’t have happened,” Angel said darkly.
He walked passed Buffy to go into the bedroom and check on Cordelia. He took her hand as he sat on the bed beside her.
“We need to be more careful next time,” Buffy said standing in the doorway.
Killing those vampires wasn’t enough to satisfy Angel’s rage at the idea of almost losing Cordelia. He tried to hold in his emotions as he sat with Cordy.
“We shouldn’t have let ourselves get distracted,” Buffy said. “But she’s going to be fine, Angel.”
They stayed silent neither of them knowing what to say, both of them blaming themselves for Cordy’s injuries. Angel felt as if Buffy were intruding on his time with Cordelia.
“I’m staying with her until she wakes up,” Angel said finally.
Buffy realized he was dismissing her.
“I’ll head home, then,” she said sadly and then walked out the door.
She half hoped Angel would stop her and ask her to stay, but he didn’t. Buffy remembered when she was Angel’s whole world and now she felt as if she’d become his last priority.
Back in Angel’s bedroom Cordy opened her eyes. She shot up from the bed pushing Angel away from her at first. Then she realized where she was.
“So you finally got around to saving me huh,” Cordy said feeling the bandage at her neck.
“I”m sorry,” Angel said.
“I know,” Cordy said. “My clothes?”
“Trashed,” Angel explained.
Then she tried to get out of the bed taking the blanket wrapped around her with her.
“You should rest up,” Angel said.
“I’m fine,” Cordy said before she lost her balance and fell into Angel’s arms. “Okay, I’m not that fine.”
He helped her get back into bed.
“Just go back to sleep,” Angel said.
“Yeah, good idea,” Cordy said closing her eyes.
***
The next morning Cordy walked down the stairs wearing one of Angel’s shirts and one of his sweat pants which she had rolled so it could fit her. She found Angel sitting alone in his living room lost in thought.
“You shouldn’t be up,” Angel said.
“I woke up hungry,” Cordy explained walking towards the kitchen.
Angel followed her into the kitchen and ordered, “Go rest. I’ll make you an omelette.”
Cordy shook her head and replied, “I’m done lying down today. It’s noon, and I’ve missed school which I must admit might not necessarily be a bad thing.”
As she took the carton of eggs from Angel’s refrigerator, she asked him, “Hungry?”
“Yeah,” he said as Cordy passed him a container filled with pig’s blood that he began to drink from. “Sit and let me make breakfast. I don’t want you causing a fire in my kitchen.”
Cordy rolled her eyes and sat on the kitchen counter.
“So what happened last night?” Cordy asked.
“What do you remember?”
“My turn at bait girl was a success and a few vamps came out to play but my back up took it’s time getting there,” Cordy said not concealing her resentment. “I remember killing one of the vamps, and then I got knocked out. So what happened?”
“We were distracted and then we heard you scream, and I got rid of the vampires,” Angel said not looking at her and concentrating on her eggs.
He then put them on a plate for her and went to sit with her at the counter. He looked at her and went over in his mind his fear that she could have died because he wasn’t paying complete attention.
“It won’t ever happen again,” Angel said with remorse.
Cordy took in his kicked puppy expression and realized what he was thinking and how much he’d been afraid.
“Quit it, Broody Boy,” Cordy said placing her hand against his cheek. “You got there in time. I’m okay.”
Then she shrugged and said, “You had to take all my fun at raking you over the coals for last night by being all adorable and sorry.”
“You think I’m adorable?” Angel asked with a slight smile.
“Dork,” she replied taking her hand away from his face.
Angel’s smile grew, and he took her hand, “I don’t care what else comes up. Your days as bait girl are over.”
Cordy shrugged and said, “It won’t matter in a couple of weeks. I’ll be free of Sunnyhell any way.”
Angel frowned because he hated thinking about Cordy’s plan to leave town immediately after graduation.
“Do you really have to go?” Angel asked.
“What else will I do Angel?” Cordy asked. “I can’t afford college and Sunnydale isn’t exactly full of options for me. I can go to LA maybe be an actress. I need to find something for myself, Angel, and I won’t find it here.”
“I’ll miss you,” Angel said.
“Of course you will, I’m fantastic,” Cordy replied trying to smile instead of crying like she suddenly wanted to. “You better come visit me when I’m in LA.”
“Count on it,” Angel said unable to push away the dread he felt.
Part 10
Angel couldn’t get Cordelia’s words out of his mind. She needed to find something for herself, and he knew she was right about Sunnydale not giving her options. He started wondering if he could even find something for himself. All he seemed to be was an extension of Buffy. Something brought him back from hell. He had a purpose, and he wondering if he could fulfill that purpose in Sunnydale. Angel knew that things between him and Buffy couldn’t remain the same anymore, but he wasn’t sure what he could do to fix things. The only thing Angel knew for certain was that he didn’t want Cordy gone. He brooded as he sat with Buffy in his living room.
Buffy talked incessantly unable to decide if she was happy or disturbed by Angel’s silence. The quiet Angel with mysterious thoughts was the one she knew. It was the Angel who laughed and joked that she wished she could know.
“About last night...” Buffy began. “How is Cordy?”
“Better,” Angel replied.
“Do you want us to go and see her?” Buffy wondered.
“She wouldn’t want that,” Angel said aware of the fact that Buffy wasn’t someone Cordy wanted to see at that moment.
“How angry was she?” Buffy asked
“She wasn’t happy,” Angel said getting up from his couch and walking into the kitchen. He just needed to move. He could still feel Cordy’s hand on his cheek.
“Let’s not talk about this,” Angel said when Buffy followed him into the kitchen.
“Did she say something horrible to you?” Buffy asked seeing his discomfort. “That’s just Cordelia.”
“She almost died last night because we weren’t doing our job. She’s allowed to be angry,” Angel said.
“What did she say to you?” Buffy asked.
“We talked, and she’s not angry,” Angel said going into his refrigerator and taking out the container of blood.
“We never finished our conversation,” Buffy asked. “I said I didn’t think you trusted me, and you said that it wasn’t about trust. Well, what is it about?”
Angel saw how Buffy’s eyes uncomfortably kept going back and forth between Angel face and the blood he held in his hands.
Angel let out an unneeded breath, “All you want is to be a normal girl.”
Buffy felt as if he were accusing her of something and replied defensively, “What’ wrong with that?”
“Normal is something we can never be,” Angel said.
Tears began to fall from Buffy’s eyes as she told him, “I get it. I’m the slayer. I don’t get normal. But we can have something close to that can’t we?”
Angel didn’t answer. So Buffy continued, “Things between us haven’t been great since you and Cordy started hanging out.”
“Things weren’t great before then, Buffy,” Angel said.
“Maybe, but things have been worse since she started making a play for you again,” Buffy said.
“This isn’t the same thing as before,” Angel said.
“You’re right, this time she’s getting to you,” Buffy said.
“She’s not some girl acting on a crush. She’s my friend. Do you want me to have only you?” Angel yelled
“I used to be enough for you, Angel,” Buffy said.
Angel shook his head, “It’s not working.”
“I know,” Buffy said sadly. “We just need...”
Buffy couldn’t finish her sentence because she didn’t know what it would take to make them happy together again. She knew she was losing him, and she refused to let go.
“Let’s just take a step back and then we can talk more tomorrow,” Buffy said. “Better yet, lets just forget all the talking and have some fun together. We never get to do that”
“We can’t do this anymore,” Angel said firmly. “This has to stop.”
“Angel?”
“I’m leaving town after graduation,” Angel said hating the pain in her eyes.
“How can you just leave?”
“You have a purpose here, and I need to find mine,” Angel said. “And you and I haven’t been able to make things work. I’ll never give you all the things you want. You deserve sunlight, children, a man you can grow old with, a man who can make love with you.”
Angel nearly choked on those words because it didn’t just mean the end of him and Buffy, but of him and Cordy as anything other than friends. Those things were all the things Cordy deserved too. He wanted so badly to be able to give them to her, but it wasn’t something that was possible.
***
Wesley and Cordelia sat at the bar in the Bronze laughing.
“I’m just saying. If you grew your hair a bit longer, got yourself some stubble, and burned everything tweed you owned, I think you’d be pretty difficult to resist. If it weren’t for us having zero chemistry, I’d totally be all over you,” Cordelia said.
Uncertain how to reply Wesley simply said, “Thank you.”
Cordelia beamed at him and then checked her watch. She and Angel had made no definite plans, but she insisted that he join her and Wesley for at least one drink. She’d been certain that his ‘I’ll think about it’ actually meant ‘Yes.’ But she tried not to seem to distracted as she sat with Wesley who she was beginning to think of him as a true friend. Then she saw Angel walk through the door and her smile at seeing him turned quickly into a frown.
“What’s wrong?” she asked the second he came to sit next to her at the bar.
“I’ll tell you later,” Angel promised. “Wesley.”
“Angel.”
Angel hadn’t wanted to spend the evening with Wesley especially after his painful conversation with Buffy and only came because he didn’t want Cordy and Wesley spending too much time together. Besides Angel knew Cordy’s insistence that they all get together was important to her, and Angel hadn’t figured out how to say no to her yet.
“You okay?” Cordy asked Angel.
“I will be,” Angel replied.
“So Cordy, why did you insist on this get together?” Wesley asked.
“I’ve decided that you guys will be friends,” Cordy said.
“You’ve decided?” Angel said with a smile.
“We don’t get to be apart of the decision?” Wesley asked.
“No,” Cordy said simply. “You guys will be friends.”
Cordy knew that once she left for LA that she’d be leaving Wesley and Angel alone with the scoobies. She wanted to make sure the outsiders who were now her friends would have each other.
***
Xander who sat with Willow and Oz across from the bar watched Cordy as she laughed with Angel and Wesley.
“I don’t get it,” Xander said suddenly.
“What?” Willow asked.
“This whole Cordelia and Dead boy are best friends thing,” Xander said. “How the hell did that happen?”
“I was wondering the same thing,” Buffy said sitting down join them.
It had been a shock to walk into the Bronze to see Angel being carefree with Cordelia and Wesley as if he hadn’t just broken her heart.
“Well Angel has that whole super hero sexy thing going for him. He storms in and saves the girl and he has those intense eyes,” Willow said with a dreamy expression and the she realized everyone at the table was staring her strangely.
She turned to Oz and said, “You’re super hero sexy, too”
“Thanks,” Oz replied with a nod.
“What has Angel told you about him and Cordelia?” Xander asked.
“Nothing,” Buffy replied flatly.
“Something wrong, Buffy?” Willow asked.
“Angel and I broke up,” Buffy replied.
At that moment, Angel noticed Buffy was in the room and made eye contact with her. He nodded sadly. Cordelia noticed and looked in the direction Angel was staring.
“I’ll see you later,” Cordy said assuming he would go sit with Buffy.
“You’re leaving?” Angel asked.
“No, you are,” Cordy said.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Angel replied.
“I suppose we must go say hello,” Wesley said spotting Buffy and the others.
“Must we?” Cordy asked.
Wesley smiled at her and Cordy smiled back. Angel frowned at them both.
“Did you guys have a fight or something?” Cordelia asked him.
“We broke up,” Angel said.
“That’s nothing new,” Wesley said.
“You guys will work things out,” Cordy said trying to reassure Angel.
“It’s over this time,” Angel said staring into his drink. “Buffy and I will never work and we both realize that now.”
Cordelia surprised herself and Angel by being speechless. She just placed her hand on his arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
Part 11
“I’m sorry,” Cordelia said to Angel as he drove her home.
“It’s okay,” Angel replied. “Having drinks with Wesley wasn’t that horrible.”
“Pfft, you know that’s not what I meant,” Cordy said. “I’m sorry you’re hurting over Buffy.”
After making his announcement that he and Buffy were over, Angel remained relatively quiet the rest of the evening.
“The end was bound to happen. Things between her and me haven’t been working for a while,” Angel said, pulling the car in front of Cordelia’s motel room.
Cordelia didn’t quite know what to say. She didn’t like Angel with a broken heart and yet there was this part of her that was actually relieved he and Buffy were over. She pushed away thoughts that maybe she and Angel could find a way to be together. She was even tempted to put off her journey to LA but she stilled those thoughts. Leaving Sunnydale was something she had to do.
“Thanks for the ride,” Cordy said getting out of his car.
Angel watched her go into her motel room and cursed himself. He had been unable to tell Cordy about his plan to leave Sunnydale. He’d come to the conclusion that he could not be the man Cordy deserved, and at the same time realized he couldn’t live without her. He drove back to the mansion but didn’t go inside. He got out of the car and went on patrol instead. He needed to kill something.
***
“I’m sure you and Angel will find your way back to each other,” Willow said as she walked with Buffy through the cemetery.
“I’ve never seen Angel that determined before,” Buffy said. “He means it. He’s leaving me. He kept saying he couldn’t give me the life I wanted.”
“I’m sorry Buffy but,” Willow hesitated. “I think he was right.”
“I don’t see how we can stay apart,” Buffy said.
“That’s probably why he’s leaving. If he stayed you guys would just get back together,” Willow said.
“Exactly, we should just keep trying to fix things between us,” Buffy said. “He’s right about us needing a break but maybe in the end we’ll find our way back to each other.”
Willow just gave her friend a reassuring hug and then Buffy pushed her away because there was a demon behind her. Before Willow could recover from the shock, Buffy set about fighting with it. Angel then appeared from the shadows and finished the demon off.
“Angel,” Buffy said hesitantly.
“Hi Buffy,” Angel said and then helped Willow up from the ground.
“You okay, Will?” Buffy asked her.
“I’m fine,” Willow said, brushing the dirt off her with her hand. “Thanks Angel.”
He nodded and then began to walk away.
“Angel!” Buffy called out and then quickly realized she had no idea what to say.
Angel turned around saying nothing. He was obviously angry.
“There’s nothing left to say,” he said sadly before he walked away.
“He was so cold,” Buffy said.
“He’s obviously upset,” Willow said.
“So am I,” Buffy said getting angry. “I’m not the one who’s walking out on us.”
“Come on, we can crash at my house and eat everything fattening we can think of,” Willow said.
***
Angel walked aimlessly. He was surprised to find himself standing across the street from Cordy’s motel. He hadn’t realized that was where he was headed. Angel needed to talk to her and tell her he was leaving Sunnydale. That he was thinking about heading to LA. He wasn’t certain how to tell her that without making it obvious how badly he needed her. He couldn’t tell her that. He had to be her friend and nothing more.
Then her motel door opened and to Angel’s surprise, Wesley walked out of Cordy’s room. He was too far away to hear what they were saying, but he heard them laugh and saw them hug goodbye. Angel raged as he saw Cordy was wearing just a robe, and he thought the hug lasted too long. Cordy walked back into her room, Wesley got into his car, and Angel stalked across the street to pound on Cordy’s door.
“You forgot your...” Cordy began as she opened the door holding Wesley’s jacket in her hand. “Angel?”
Angel pulled Cordy roughly into his arms and kissed her putting all the need he felt into it. It started out hard and punishing, but Angel softened the kiss when he realized she was kissing him back. Cordy pulled his jacket off, and Angel pulled on the strings to her robe. When it fell to the floor, Angel smiled as he realized Cordy was wearing the shirt she’d borrowed from him and nothing else.
“My shirt,” he said as he began to open the buttons.
“My shirt now,” Cordy said with a sly smile as Angel moved to kiss her neck.
He licked the place where her pulse was racing, his hand fondling her now exposed breasts. Cordy started backing up towards the bed taking Angel with her. She paused only long enough to rip the shirt he was wearing open. Buttons flew everywhere.
“Always wanted to do that,” Cordy said as she pushed Angel’s shirt off his shoulders.
Angel laughed and then took her taut nipple in his mouth as she moaned. Then there was a knock at the door.
“We’re not here,” Angel said letting his tongue slide over her other nipple.
“No, we’re not,” Cordelia sighed. “It’s probably just Wes looking for his jacket. He’ll go away.”
Angel growled at the sound of Wesley’s name, and he gripped her shoulders harder. By now he could tell from Cordy’s scent that she and Wesley hadn’t had sex, but the thought of any man alone with Cordy raged Angel.
“You’re jealous,” Cordy said with a laugh and then she kissed him tenderly. “You don’t have to be.”
The pounding on Cordy’s door continued. Angel and Cordy were oblivious as she unbuckled his pants and kissed her way down his chest.
“Cordelia, I know you’re there. I really need to talk,” Buffy said pounding on the door harder.
Part 12
Buffy continued to pound on Cordy’s door.
“Maybe she’s asleep or still out with Wesley or something,” Willow suggested regretting that she had been unable to talk Buffy into not going to see Cordelia, but Buffy was convinced that talking to Cordy would help her understand Angel.
Cordy stopped kissing Angel, and they exchanged a frustrated look. It was like they’d just had a cold shower. Cordy pulled away from Angel who insisted on holding on to her hand.
“You should go hide in the bathroom,” Cordy suggested holding her shirt closed with her free hand. “Not really wanting the slayer kicking my ass tonight.”
“Cordy,” Angel said pulling her to him again. “She’ll go away.”
Cordy shook her head and left Angel’s arms, “I’d have to deal with her eventually. I might as well get it over with.”
Cordy supposed she should be relieved by Buffy’s timing. Cordy and Angel had gotten carried away, and it was only now that the curse had occurred to either of them. She closed the buttons on her shirt and put her robe back on. Angel picked up his scattered clothes and reluctantly walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him. Cordy opened the door to Buffy and Willow.
“What the hell are you doing pounding on my door after midnight with Willow?” Cordy said feeling betrayed.
Buffy’s promise not to reveal the fact that Cordy was broke and living in a motel was forgotten because Buffy was so focused on Angel. Buffy looked at Cordelia guiltily.
“I wasn’t thinking,” Buffy said just realizing what she’d done. “I needed to talk to you about Angel.”
“And you couldn’t wait until the morning to talk to me because?” Cordy said glaring at her.
Buffy shrugged and said, “It’s just this Angel leaving town thing has really thrown me.”
Angel who was listening in the bathroom had the sudden urge to slam his head into a wall.
“Angel’s leaving town?” Cordelia asked suddenly feeling hurt.
They’d spent most of the evening together, and Angel hadn’t said a word about leaving town.
“He hasn’t told you yet?” Buffy asked surprised. “Maybe he didn’t mean it. I was hoping...”
“We should go,” Willow interrupting. She noticed the way Cordelia was suddenly tense and realized a blow out was almost inevitable.
“Sorry about the midnight visit,” Willow said closing the door behind her and Buffy.
Cordy hated the pity in Willow’s eyes. Tomorrow everyone would know how her parents had abandoned her but that wasn’t really hurt at that moment. She felt confused and betrayed.
“Get your undead ass in here,” Cordy yelled.
Angel walked out of the bathroom still holding his clothes in his hands.
“So Wes was here?” Angel asked.
Cordy rolled her eyes, “I left my purse at the Bronze, and he was returning it. Then we got to talking. Don’t change the subject.”
“When were you going to tell me you were leaving?” Cordy demanded.
“That was why I came by here tonight, and then I got distracted,” Angel said edging towards her.
They both got distracted. Cordy didn’t know how to feel about what almost happened between her and Angel. It was something she’d wanted since almost the moment she first saw him at the Bronze. His showing up and just kissing her was something out of a fantasy. But now she was wondering what it all meant. Did he come to her to ask her to leave with him? Was what happened some sort of goodbye?
“So you really are going?” Cordy asked him.
Angel nodded, “I need to find something for myself, and I can’t do that here.”
Cordelia understood. She hated it, but she understood.
“It’s not fair to quote me to my face, Angel,” Cordy said smiling sadly.
Angel smiled back and took a few steps towards her. He wanted to hold her.
“Where will you go? When will you go?” Cordy asked taking a step back away from Angel.
“As soon as the ascension has been dealt with, I’m leaving. I was going to visit with these mystics and see if maybe they could shed some light on why I was brought back to hell. After that, I wasn’t really sure where I’d end up. I was thinking about LA,” Angel said hesitantly.
“LA?” Cordy said trying not to put too much hope in her voice.
“LA,” Angel confirmed cupping her face in his hands and kissing her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
“We have to be careful, Angel,” Cordy sighed resting her forehead against his. “There’s a curse remember. We almost forgot about that.”
Angel’s face darkened, “There is so much I can’t give you that you deserve...”
Cordy stopped his words with a kiss, “Instead of focusing on what we can’t have let’s pay attention to what we do have.”
“I was going to just be your friend, and I wasn’t going to let wanting you get in the way,” Angel said sitting on her bed. “I don’t want you to make sacrifices in order to be with me. I want you have everything,”
Cordelia sat beside him on his bed and put her hand on his knee.
“I’ve got you. That’s enough,” Cordy said and Angel just smiled before he kissed her again.
They stayed up most of the night talking and making plans and then they fell asleep together. She woke up vaguely disappointed that he was still wearing his pants. Angel had his arms wrapped around her as they lied in the bed in the spoon position. She attempted to get out of bed, but Angel pulled her back down.
“I have to go to school,” Cordy said snuggling into Angel. She grabbed the hand he had around her waste and clutched it to her chest.
Angel made no reply. He just started kissing her neck and used the hand she’d clutched to her chest to unbutton her shirt. Cordy slapped his hand away and got out of the bed. Angel turned over and smiled as he watched her walk into the bathroom. And alone in Cordy’s room a thought struck Angel. He was worried about what Cordelia would have to face at school. Everyone would know about Cordy’s situation, and he hated how it would make her feel.
Part 13
“The sun is up and your room doesn’t have sewer access,” Angel pointed out.
“So you’re stuck here huh,” Cordy asked Angel who was still sprawled in the middle of the bed.
“I wouldn’t feel stuck if you stayed with me,” Angel suggested.
“Tempting,” she replied sitting on the bed beside him and kissing him. “But I already missed school yesterday. And I’ve got finals next week.”
She got up from the bed, “You could wrap yourself in a blanket and then I could drive you back home.”
“I walked here last night. The car’s at the mansion,” Angel said sitting up and putting his shoes on. “I’ll just take a blanket and make a run for the sewer access across the street.”
“I could stop by the mansion after school?” Cordy said.
“Maybe I could stop by the school with you,” Angel said standing up.
“I can handle the Scoobies, Angel. You don’t have to hold my hand,” Cordy said trying to build up her defenses before she got to school.
“You’re still Cordy no matter what your address is or what balance you’ve got in the bank,” Angel said holding her.
“I know that, but I don’t want their pity,” Cordy said letting go of Angel and picking up her school bag.
“Maybe Willow won’t tell the others,” Angel said.
“Not intentionally but the truth is bound to come out. Plus there’s the you and me thing,” Cordy said. “Yesterday, you and Buffy had the big love and now you and I are running off to LA together. I’m thinking awkward would be the nicest word for the scoobies reaction.”
“I don’t want to hurt Buffy more than I already have, but I don’t want us sneaking around like we are ashamed of us,” Angel said. “I just have to figure out the right time to tell her.”
“There is no right time. It’s going to hurt her no matter when you tell he,r but we can put it off for a while. Maybe after we’ve settled in LA,” Cordy said.
“You know what?” Cordy asked him wanting to change the subject.
“What?” Angel said.
“Last night was still the best night,” Cordy said smiling at him.
Angel smiled back and promised, “Tonight will be even better.”
His hand caressed her cheek and he kissed her softly on her mouth.
“I want to take you out tonight,” he said. “I’m supposed to patrol and then I could pick you up.”
“I should warn you. I don’t kiss on the first date,” Cordy teased.
“I respect that,” Angel said before kissing her again.
***
When Buffy woke up the next morning after recovering from her ice cream coma, she felt foolish. She couldn’t believe she’d actually run to Cordelia for help dealing with her breakup with Angel. It had just been so hard for her to accept. Even those times when she had walked away from Angel she never completely left him. He’d always just been there, and Buffy didn’t know how to handle not having him there anymore.
She went over in her mind what she could have done or said to change things. She knew she was a little relieved because with Angel gone for a while Buffy would be able to take of break from the roller coaster that was their relationship. She hoped that in time maybe she and Angel could find a way, but she was finished trying to make him stay. And then she thought about Cordelia who Buffy was certain would use her moment of weakness against her. Buffy just knew school was going to suck as she got out of bed.
***
Cordy was late for school, but it didn’t occur to her to care. Making out with Angel was the best way to start a day. She was even flirting with the idea of just heading back to Angel and spending the day with him. But she wanted to get the inevitable confrontation over with. Cordelia smiled at she thought of the all the possibilities of LA and then she saw Buffy and her friends in the hallway. She took and deep breath and followed them into the library. Buffy took Cordelia aside.
“Willow’s not going to say anything,” Buffy said. “And I was never at your motel room last night, okay?”
“Screw it,” Cordy muttered to herself and walked towards the others.
Xander, Oz, and Willow looked at her expectantly. Buffy was concerned Cordelia was going to tell the others how foolish she’d been the night before.
“This isn’t necessary Cordelia,” Buffy warned.
Cordy ignored her, “What I’m about to say better not leave this room. My parents had some IRS issues and had to skip town. I’ve been on my own ever since. I don’t want or need anybody’s help. I’m doing just fine. We’re not mentioning this again.”
Then she turned and strutted out the door with her head held high.
“Is she kidding?” Xander asked Buffy.
“No, she’s not,” Buffy said.
Xander got up from his chair as if to follow Cordy to see if she really was alright, but Buffy stopped him.
“She doesn’t want to talk about it,” Buffy said.
***
After school was over, Cordy joined the others in the library to do the usual research. She’d been tempted just to avoid them and head straight to Angel, but she didn’t want to run away. She figured she’d stay an hour and then take off to get ready for her date.
Cordelia stood alone in the stacks in the library looking for the book Giles asked her to get with the unpronounceable name. She began to smile because she knew Angel was behind her before he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her so her back rested against his chest.
“Giles, I thought we agreed not to meet in the stacks until later,” Cordy teased.
“You’re not funny,” Angel replied nuzzling her neck.
“Oh it’s you,” Cordy said turning around so she could kiss him.
What was supposed to be a simple kiss quickly turned passionate.
“What the hell!” a voice exclaimed interrupting the new couple.
Part 14
Angel and Cordy quickly jumped apart when they realized they’d be caught making out in the library stacks.
“Wesley,” Angel said in greeting.
Wesley replied, “ You know any of them could have walked in on you both.”
“We got carried away,” Cordy said.
They all stood there awkwardly.
Angel put his arm around Cordy and told Wesley, “We only just got together and We don’t want the news about us to be spread around to the others until we’re ready for them to find out.”
“Of course not,” Wesley said understanding and then added in a brotherly tone. “I heard you were leaving town. I’m guessing now LA is your destination.”
He looked at Angel as if seizing up his intentions towards Cordelia.
Angel nodded, “We’re going to LA.”
“I hope you will both be careful,” Wesley said. “Angelus is still a valid concern and...”
“This is well covered territory, Wes,” Cordy interrupted.
“We’ll be careful,” Angel promised.
He looked at them both and said, “I should have guessed this would happen after seeing you guys together before.”
“Was it that obvious?” Cordy asked with a smile.
“No, there was just something there,” Wesley said smiling back. “In spite of my concerns, I am happy for you both. I suggest we return to the others.”
And so they went back to the center of the library to sit with the others.
***
Later that night Angel walked into an elegant restaurant with Cordelia on his arm.
“We’re lucky it was Wes who caught us,” Cordy said sitting down at their table.
“We have to be more careful,” Angel said.
“This place is beautiful,” Cordy said taking in the decor.
Angel smiled at her. They sat in an alcove which allowed them to see the restaurant but gave them their own little table.
“You’re beautiful,” Angel said.
“You’re pretty damn good with the words when you want to be,” Cordy said.
The waiter arrived and gave them menus as they sat side by side. Angel had his hand on Cordy’s knee. He noticed Cordy had a distracted look on her face.
“What are you thinking?” he asked her.
“Have you ever looked into finding a way around the curse?” Cordy asked him.
“Never really thought getting out of the curse was an option for me,” Angel said.
“Because you think it’s impossible or that you don’t deserve it?” Cordy asked.
“I deserved the curse,” Angel said, sounding sad and distant.
“Angelus certainly deserved it,” Cordy agreed. “But what about you now?”
“There isn’t really a distinction except for the soul that keeps me from doing harm,” Angel said.
“A soul isn’t a magic wand making you one of the good guys, Angel,” Cordy said placing her hand over his. “You are still a vampire. You still have dark urges.”
Angel looked in Cordy’s eyes with sadness, “It’s part of who I am.”
“Even with a soul you could have chose the darkness but everyday you choose to do right,” Cordy said. “That means something, Angel.”
Angel didn’t know what to say, and so he kissed her slowly savoring the taste of her.
“There may be no way around the curse,” Angel said and then hesitated. “I don’t want to hope for what I can’t have.”
“I know,” Cordy said understanding.
“Another man could give you so much more,” Angel said.
“No, another man couldn’t,” Cordy said. “You’re the man I’m in love with.”
Angel beamed at her.
***
Buffy walked with Xander down the street.
“You know. You are better off without him,” Xander said referring to Buffy’s break up with Angel.
“I don’t really want to hear that right now,” Buffy said.
Xander nodded, “So what do you want to talk about? The weather?”
“It’s cloudy,” Buffy replied smiling slightly.
“It’s good to see you smile a bit,” Xander said and then stopped in his tracks.
“What?” Buffy said turning to see what Xander was staring at.
It was Angel and Cordelia walking out of a restaurant hand and hand. They were laughing and then they were kissing. Xander and Buffy stood down the street stunned by the sight. Angel and Cordy walked to Angel’s car. He opened the car door for Cordy and then they drove away together.
Xander turned to Buffy who now had tears in her eyes.
“Buffy,” he said before she ran away.
***
The next morning there was a knock on Cordy’s motel room door. She was surprised to find Xander standing there looking tense.
“We need to talk,” he said letting himself into her room.
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