Title: The Portal
Author: louloucn
Posted:
Rating: R
Email: louloucn@hotmail.com
Content:
Summary: (for this part at least) Cordy comes back from a date with Groo, and later talks to Angel
Spoilers: Post WITW, but knowledge of BtVS would be helpful too.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Anywhere, just drop me a note so I'll know where to look.
Notes: Note: This is my first fanfic ever so please be kind. As for the end of part 1 to the next part, I thank Dannyblue for inspiring me to actually start writing this fic in the first place and for Angelicgal82, starlet2367 and Love's Bitch for their always enjoyable fanfiction. They are the best.... also, please note that this is kind of like a prologue but I thought it was necessary just for the story. Also, I have no idea what I am doing here... Not used to writing fanfic at all...
Feedback: Yes, please.
Dedication: To schweet and AngelLuver21, who have remained avid followers of this series: your wish is my command.Part 10
“Look, I just need a few supplies, and then I'll take you to...” Spike groans as he grabs his head. “Oh, God.”
“What's wrong? Not that I care.” Buffy asked, as she tried to pretend that she wasn’t concerned.
“Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up.” Spike explained, as he began getting flashes of the events that happened last night, with the straddling and the tonguing…. The whole thing was making him want to heave right there. “It's horrible!” Spike cried out, as he tried to block it from his mind “Oh, God. I wish I was dead.” ~Anything to get that picture of the cheerleader and the poof out of my mind! Why can’t you think of anything else?!~
“Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard...” Buffy offered as she pulled a stake out.
~Hey I’m wishing! I’m wish… “Hey! Back off!” Spike suddenly answered, realizing what he had thought about and wondered how desperate he really was.
“Buffy, we still need him to find the others.” Angel said calmly, trying to stand between them. ~Especially Cordy… Cordy? Where are you? I really hope you’re okay!
“Need him? He's probably just got them locked up in the factory.” Buffy answered very matter of factly.
“Well, hey, how thick do you think I am?” Spike scoffed, trying to hide the fact that she was right ~Slayer, why do always have to get the best of me? I don’t understand why I even put up with you!
As Angel, Buffy and Spike continued to walk towards the magic shop, they encounter a street bench, where suddenly Spike is filled with memories.
“Oh God.”Spike exclaims.
“Now what?” Angel asked.
“We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times.” Spike sighed as he sat on the bench. “You know, he begged for mercy, and you know, that
only made her bite harder.”
“Well, I’m glad that you are enjoying your walk down memory lane, but I don’t have time for this! “Buffy declared as she tried to pull Spike up from the bench.
“Hey!” Spike yells as he resents the forced pull. “You know, funny you should mention memories, Buffy, cause I have a story for you…something about a certain someone, let say straddling another certain someone…”Spike continued as he began to fumble around the details, angering Angel, and making Buffy ponder what the hell he was talking about.
“What the hell are you yammering on about this time Spike?” Buffy asked in annoyance.
“Don’t listen to him Buffy.” Angel quickly interjected, “He’s just babbling on about some garbage about him and Dru.” He was desperate to get off the subject, and especially to shut Spike’s big mouth. “Hey Buffy! There’s the magic shop!” As he pointed towards the shop up ahead.
Buffy then proceeded as Spike and Angel trailed behind.
“Why don’t you shut the hell up?” Angel threatened.
“Why don’t you make me?” Spike threatened back as he continued to walk on. “I’m sure Buffy would LOVE to hear my story with all the details, especially with the moaning and groaning I heard last night!” as he gave him a devilish smile before catching up with Buffy.
***************************
As Buffy, Spike and Angel all walked into the magic shop, they saw what could only be Spike’s handywork.
“Your work?” Buffy asked, although it was a pretty redundant question.
“Here's your list.” Spike declared as he hands the list of supplies he needed.
“'Essence of violet, cloves...'”Buffy started to recite. “Angel?”
Angel was completely deep in thought about how Cordy was doing and how to handle Spike. He then woke out of his reverie as Buffy spoke.
“Right.” He answered, as he went about his way to search for the ingredients.
“ 'Set of runic tablets.' Spike can get the rat's eyes.” Buffy said.
With the mention of rats, Spike once again thought about Dru.
“I used to bring her rats. With the morning paper.” Spike sighed.
“ Great. More moping. That's gonna get her back.” Buffy said in a sarcastic manner.
“The spell's gonna get her back.” Spike assured her.
“Lot of trouble for somebody who doesn't even care about you.” Angel suddenly remarked. He knew that he shouldn’t aggravate Spike even further, but he couldn’t resist.
“Shut your gob!” Spike yelled.
“She really is just kind of fickle.” Angel continued, not being able to resist the temptation.
“SHUT UP!” Spike yelled again. ~ THAT IT! HE’S GONNA GET WHAT’S COMING TO HIM!
With that, he ran up to Angel and tries to punch him in the face. WHACK!
Angel then grabs his arm before he could do it again. Buffy then proceeds to knock Spike to the floor.
“What do you know?” Spike declares as he stands up. “It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me.” He then proceeds to break and starts to sob. “I'm nothing without her.”
“That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.” Buffy concluded.
“Yeah. You're one to talk.” Spike adds.
~Oh God! Here it comes! Angel thought in agony.
“Meaning?” Buffy demanded.
“The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting him to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at the poof like nothing happens. Makes me want to heave.” Spike explains, not fully detailing the whole truth.
“I don't know what you're talking about.” Buffy denied.
“Oh yeah sure.” Spike comments with glee.
“You’re not his friend!” Spike continued, as he glared at Buffy. “You’ll never ever think of him as your friend. You’ll be in love with him until it kills you. You’ll fight, shag and hate him until it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be his friend. Love isn't brains, children,” as he points to his head. “ it's blood...[pointing to his chest] blood screaming inside you to work its will.”
Buffy would have none of it, but as Spike glanced at Angel, he knew that Angel understood. Angel understood because he was in love and he knew what love meant, he had seen it work its will on him when Cordy was almost dead all those times, and how much it made him want to scream and die because he couldn’t help his beloved. He knew what love was. Unfortunately, Buffy was still perplexed, still in the dark with whatever Spike had to say.
“*I* may be love's bitch, but at least *I'm* man enough to admit it.” He concluded. Angel just bowed his head in acknowledgement.
What he really meant was that although Angel knew what he was talking about, he still was a cowardly poof who wouldn’t even say it to the slayer, to her face that he was in love with someone else. Instead, he kept stringing the slayer on like a puppy, who had no idea how crushed she would be. And then Spike left it at that.
Buffy then tried to glance at Angel, but Angel couldn’t look at her in the face because he knew that he would hurt her if she could only see his eyes.
“Hmm!” Spike said suddenly, as he grabbed a bottle “Eye of rat.” He just went about his business like nothing had happened at all.
**********************
“Xander?” Willow asked as she sits beside him on the bed. “Are you okay?”
Xander had finally woken up. “Dizzy.” Xander winces a little. “Kind of nauseous, too. Do I remember having a fight with Spike?”
“You do.”Willow answered.
Xander then notices the caked on blood on the side of his face.
“I won, right? Kicked his ass?” Xander asked with hope.
“You were real brave. Do you need to barf?” Willow asked with concern.
“No, I'll be okay.” Xander then finally looks around to see that he has no idea where he is. “Where are we?”
“The factory. We're locked in the basement.” Willow explained.
“That burnt-out place in the middle of nowhere?” Xander asked, realizing the hopelessness of the situation. “ So we're pretty much in a 'scream all you want' scenario.”
“Pretty much.” Willow admitted.
“Why didn’t he just kill us?” Xander asked.
“He-he wants me to do a love spell.” Willow. ~I hate the thought of love spells! Love spells just equals trouble.~
“What?” Xander exclaimed, completely baffled.
“Drusilla broke up with him.” Willow explained more carefully.
“Gee, and we had all hoped those crazy kids would make it work.” Xander remarked sarcastically.
“He's out of control. I mean, not that he was Joe Restraint in the old days.” Willow remarked as she thought back Spike trying to come on to her/bite her.
“So what are our options?” Xander asked, as he winces again in pain.
“Well, I figure either... I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell and he kills us.” Willow admitted.
“Give me a third option.” Xander declared. ~I need some hope here Willow!
“ He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one.” Willow deduces. ~It’s also probably the most probable one, especially the way he was drinking tonght. Yeesh!~
“Will, we're not gonna die.” Xander assures her as he attempts to sit up, with Willow’s help. “ If he's so drunk, he'll get sloppy, and then I'll make my move.” His attempts are futile, as they both collapse back in bed. “As long as my move doesn't involve standing
up or using my limbs, we'll be okay.”
They fall really close together. Their faces are so near each other, their noses touch. They can feel the pull of their attraction bringing them together, but Willow hesistates.
~Think about Oz!… oh God, think about Cordelia!~ She thought to herself. “We're not supposed to.”
“Exemption for impending death situation.” Xander rationalizes as he is unable to surpress his feelings any longer.
Willow can’t fight her feelings as well, and they both close in for a kiss. The kiss was tender, Xander then lovingly reached for her to pull her closer to him as he lied back on the bed. She in turn responds and puts her arm around him. The moment was so sweet, gentle, perfect.
************
As Cordy and Oz walked in on Willow and Xander kissing tenderly, Cordy agonized in pain, and was unable to look at poor Oz, who was completely taken aback by the scene before.
The colour drained from his face and he felt as thought his heart had stopped and broken in two. Here he was, scrambling to search for his dearest Willow and Xander, wondering, agonizing if anything bad had happened to her and here she was on the bed, passionately kissing Xander.
As Cordy watched Oz’s pained look, what happened next completely took her by surprise.
FLASH!
All of a sudden, the memories of that very moment flooded her mind as she began to feel all the feelings that she had felt all those years ago. Betrayal, Anger, Sadness, Heartbroken. It was as though she was seventeen again and the scene she saw before her was completely new.
“Oh God.” Cordy managed to speak, unable to move over the horror.
Willow immediately gets off Xander and turns to see Cordelia and Oz staring back at them, with blank and hurt expressions.
“Oh God.” Xander exclaimed, realizing the situation.
“Oh God, Oz…” Willow said painfully.
“We’ve gotta get out of here.” Oz replied with no emotion whatsoever.
As Oz finished his sentence, Cordy, filled with all the emotions that she had once felt, started to run towards the stairs.
“Cordy, I…”
Before Xander could even finish his sentence, the stairs beneath Cordy gave in, and she suddenly fell through into the space below. As she fell, Cordy hit the pile of concrete and once more, a long rusty iron rebar had stabbed her in the side. Cordy just laid there, motionless as the others look down the space in horror.
****************
As Angel, Buffy and Spike were walking out of the magic shop, Angel stopped dead in his tracks. He felt a pang of pain like no other and knew there was something was wrong. “Cordy!”
Part 11
“What did you say Angel?” Buffy asked as she turned around to look at Angel.
Spike gave him a look and knew there was something wrong. “It’s nothing luv. He was probably just mumbling to himself.” ~Why the hell did I call her luv?~
“Whatever Spike.” Buffy answered in a huff. “And don’t call me love.”
Angel was still in his own world, as he still felt a pain on his side. He couldn’t explain it but he knew that Cordy was in trouble. Then suddenly, he remembered the story Cordy once told him about how she had gotten the scar she had on her stomach. Something about finding Xander and Willow, and falling…~Oh my God, how could I have been so stupid! He thought to himself. His initial reaction was to run off right away to look for her but he couldn’t. And it didn’t help that Buffy and Spike were barking at each other like a married couple.
“What's your hurry?” Spike asked.
“My hurry is my intense desire to get you out of my life. You tend to cause trouble.” Buffy replied, anxious to get this over with.
“I'll be out of your life in a few short hours. No trouble at all.” Spike agreed.
~I’ve got to find a way to get to Cordy. Maybe I can go without them noticing…With them yelling at each other, and if there isn’t any trouble…
Angel spoke too soon, as suddenly they were confronted by a vampire.
“Hello Spike.” The vampire said, as a gang of vampires followed behind them.
“No trouble at all.” Buffy replied, as she saw the vampires in front of her. ~Why does Spike always get us into these things?!~
“Lenny. How have you been?” Spike remarked.
“Better since you left. You should have stayed gone.” Lenny replied.
“Is that right” Spike exclaimed, as he threw down the bag that he had in his hands and prepared to rumble.
“You know, he was just leaving.” Buffy answered, and then looked at Spike “ Don't you start anything.”
“This pissant used to work for me.” Spike explained.
Buffy then looked at Angel. “The guys are in trouble. We can't risk this.”
Angel looked at her regrettably and said: “Look, I don't think we have a choice.” More than anything, all he want to do was run off to Cordy’s side and save her, but remembering the brawl that they were about to embark on, he knew he couldn’t just leave Buffy and Spike to fend off for themselves.
“You other two can walk away from this.” Lenny offered.
“I die, your chums die.” Spike said as he looked at Buffy.
“Sorry. We're staying.” Buffy replied to Lenny with much reluctance.
“Not for long!” Lenny declared as they began to fight.
Buffy and Angel then threw their bags down as well started swinging and punching. All around, Spike, Buffy and Angel started throwing punches in the air, kicking and hurling vampires left and right. Although they were successful in throwing down their opponents for a time, they saw the gang surround them once more. They then decided to regroup and back themselves into the magic shop once more. Once inside, they slammed the door shut as the gang outside scramble to look for an entrance. Buffy then goes searching for any weapons, as Angel and Spike pushes one of the bookcases to lean against the front window. Buffy then proceeds to smash a chair, and grabs its legs as stakes. She throws one to both Spike and Angel as they all stood their ground, waiting for the bookcase to give and for their enemies to storm the shop.
“This should be a kick.” Spike declared.
“I violently dislike you.” Buffy managed to utter back in disgust as vampires started rolling in.
*************************
Xander was about to climb down the hole, when Willow forced him to go with Oz to go fetch help, while she offered to climb down the hole herself. Xander obliged since he didn’t want to cross paths with Willow right at this moment. As the boys leave, Willow finally slowly made it down the hole, to be near Cordelia.
“Don’t move Cordy, okay? Xander and Oz are off to get help.” Willow explained, as she tried her best to comfort her.
“Angel…” Cordy whispered as she lied there motionless and in pain. “Angel…”
“Don’t worry Cordy.” Willow assured her. “I’m sure Angel will be here and you’ll be fine.”
Cordy gave her a weak smile and proceeded to think about Angel.
****************************
“Now that was fun.” Spike declared, fully satisfied by the mass destruction they had caused.
Buffy and Angel could only glare at him in disbelief at what he said. Just moments ago, they were on the brink of death, as Angel was trapped under a bookcase and the vampires were about the break through the front windows. If it wasn’t for the shelf filled with Holy Water on hand, who knows what would have happened to them.
“Oh, don't *tell* me that wasn't fun.” Spike said, as he smiled brightly. “ Oh, God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence.” He stops and ponders for a minute. “Really puts things in perspective.”
Angel still bends over in pain as Buffy tries to help him.
“Oh yeah right you only think of him as a friend.” Spike remarked coyly. If she only knew…
“Could we just do the damn spell?” Buffy barked as she was finally out of patience.
“Oh, sod the spell.Your friends are at the factory.” Spike replied matter of factly.
Buffy just glared at him and became ashamed of her own gullibility.
“I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was.” Spike concluded as he began to stand proudly “the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again.”
He then thought about him and Dru, and then Angel and the cheerleader. Spike then smiled. “Love’s a funny thing.”
************************
Xander had come back and the paramedics had arrived. As he stood close to her side, he looked at her with deep concern and regret.
“Cordy… please hold on.” He said softly.
“Xander..”Cordy said weakly. “I can’t see you…”
She then turned her head and closed her eyes slowly, trying to think about the only thing in this world that mattered to her: Angel.
**************************
Angel was pacing back and forth within the mansion. With Cordy in the hospital at this very moment, he couldn’t sit still, let alone think straight. But he had to remain calm for her sake and he had to wait a little longer as he had one more thing to do.
Buffy then slowly appeared.
“Hey. I was wondering when you were coming.” Angel answered. He had been waiting for so long, and with him dying to go to the hospital, he didn’t know how long it would take for Buffy to show.
“I'm not coming back.” Buffy blurted out suddenly.
“We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go.” Buffy explained as clearly as she could, even though the words that came out wounded her deeply. But she had to face the facts. She had to face reality.
“There’s got to be some way to see each other.” Angel offered, remembering the words he had once said to her.
“There is: tell me that you don't love me.” Buffy said.
Angel knew there was no other way but to stand still and be silent. He knew that there was no way that he could ever tell her that he didn’t love her anymore, since a part of him would always love her, but he couldn’t bear to tell her the whole truth. Not only because it would change things in an enormous way, but he couldn’t bear to make her more heartbroken than she already was. Instead, he just stood there and watched her slowly walk away.
***************************
“Cordy?” Xander called out as he knocked on Cordy’s hospital door room. He had come with a bouquet of flowers in hand, ready to grovel wholeheartedly for her to forgive him. “Can I come in?”
There was no response to his call, so he slowly opened the door. He gasped.
As he peered into her room, he was confronted by flowers upon flowers, covering every inch of the room. There were flowers of all different shapes and sizes, with every colour imaginable. Xander was dumbfounded, as he had never seen so many flowers in one room in his entire life. This made him embarrassed about the paltry offering he had in hand. Then, as he scanned the room, he noticed a little card among the flowers. He focused his eyes on the card and read: “I’m sorry that these aren’t plastic flowers, but I know these won’t die off like that when they are beside you. I love you more than you’ll ever know.” He wondered who sent them as he noticed that there was no name. Probably it was some admirer at school, but he did find the message on the card pretty peculiar. He then refocused his attention to Cordy.
“They wouldn't let me see you until now.” Xander explained as he sat in a chair next to the bed.
Cordy didn’t say a word.
“I brought you flowers.” Xander continued as he motioned to the flowers, “But from the looks at it, you are enough flowers to last a lifetime.”
Cordy continued to stay silent.
Uncomfortable with the silence, Xander continued to talk.
“Look, Cordy, I want you to know that I...” Xander said seriously.
“Xander?” Cordy finally spoke.
“Yeah?” Xander answered as he was glad that she had finally said something.
“I know that you are sorry and I won’t lie to you that it doesn’t still hurt what you did with Willow…” Cordy commenced. Even after three years, she realized now that it still hurt and those feelings would probably something she couldn’t ever completely forget.
“However, I don’t want to be so angry that I can’t feel anymore. Life is too short for us to keep grudges. I forgive you Xander and I forgive Willow. But I don’t think we could ever be anything but friends now.”
“I understand Cordy.” Xander nodded. He had regretted how much he had screwed up his relationship with Cordelia, but he realized that there was no way for them to go back to the way things used to be. However, he was thankful that Cordy was able to forgive him, even after all the horrid things that he had done. “Thank you for forgiving me.” He then reached out his hand and held hers. Cordy gave him a little smile and he smiled back.
*************************
Later that night, Angel snucked in quietly into her room. Cordy was fast asleep, snoring quietly. Angel chuckled quietly at the sight. Even though she looked weak and was stuck in hospital clothing, he couldn’t help but find her absolutely beautiful. As she continued to snore, he remembered that fateful night at the ballet when she was snoring and was asleep on his shoulder. He remember how happy he was sitting there watching her, even though she had drooled on his tux.
He slowly sat down in the chair beside her bed and reached out to hold her hand. Suddenly Cordy’s eyes fluttered as she opened them. She gave him a sweet, yet weak smile. “Angel.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner honey.” Angel replied. “I just had to take care of something.” He gave her a smile.
“That’s okay. Xander came to visit me before and we had a nice chat.” Cordy answered.
“Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”
“You’re welcome.” Angel smiled some more as he moved closer to kiss her forehead. “Cordy, why didn’t you tell me about this? You didn’t have suffer like this again. We could have prevented this from ever happening.”
“Angel, you know what we said about changing the future. This happened before and so I knew I had to go through with it.” Cordy explained. “I’m not gonna say that it doesn’t hurt, but after that whole vision thing and the almost dying thing, this is a piece of cake.” Cordy assured him, though she was still weak. “Anyways, this scar is a part of me. I have memories attached to it. Good and bad.” Cordy then thought back to that unforgettable night at the ballet when they were kissing. She remembered how good it felt when Angel was kissing her tummy, kissing her scar, kissing everything. That was definitely a good memory. She looked at Angel, who knew exactly what she was thinking about. Cordy then tried to sit up, but Angel would have none of it.
“Don’t move, okay? Just lie still.” Angel answered. “I just wanted to get a heads up at least. I didn’t want you to go through this alone.”
“I know, but it was just easier for me to know that you wouldn’t be worried about me.” Cordy explained.
“Cordy, don’t you realize by now that I always worry about you?” Angel replied as he stroked her cheek.
Cordy then gave another smile.
“Can I do anything for you, honey?” Angel asked. “I will do anything for you. Just ask and I’ll do it.”
“Just kiss me Angel.” Cordy replied. “Lie beside me and stay here with me until I fall asleep, okay?”
Angel smiled and gave her a sweet kiss. He then broke away, took off his coat, and slowly climbed onto the bed as Cordy moved to give him some space. He reached out his arms and pulled her close. Cordy just felt so safe nestled in his arms and they just laid there in silence, in perfect bliss. Angel just smiled to himself as he saw Cordy closing his eyes and had a dreamy look. Angel closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep as well.
**********
Angel suddenly stirred from his sleep, completely dazed. As he opened his eyes, he was stunned at the sight before him: Buffy, Willow, Xander and Oz were all standing beside the bed, with Willow giving him a supportive look and Buffy and Xander in a stupor to say the least.
Continue on...