Title: Walking In My Shoes
Author: Kelly and Mike (collaborative writing team)
Email: Click Here
Posted: 7/19/06 - 8/19/06
Rating: Chapters range from PG-15 to NC-17
Content: Cuteness, Fluff, and Angst.
Summary: Written for a challenge proposed on the Stranger Things message board. Challenge By rousedower. An AU/TT Challenge: Angel goes to another dimension, hence AU, somehow. And in this dimension he is married to Cordy and they have kids. But something happened to the other Angel (he's missing or dead), so there's mad tension and what not between this Angel and AU!Cordy. She knows he's not her Angel, but the kids (a boy and girl) are pretty young and think he's their father. I imagine a scene where their little daughter asks him to read her a bedtime story/tuck her in with Cordy trying to explain to her that he's not her father (really), and he does it.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Notes: Cast List: Kelly writes for Cordelia, Gunn, Lorne, Lillian, Kat, Ian, Illyria/Fred, Lilah, Eve, Faith, Gwen. Mike writes for Angel(us), Connor, Wes, random filler chars.
Feedback: Yes, please. Tell us how we are doing!

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Chapter Nineteen - Continued

Angel stood there a moment. Holding Katy was no effort for him. He hated seeing her like this. He hated Katy in the state she was in. Something had to come to a compromise here, even if it was just for the good of the children. "Cordelia."

She heard her name and raised her head. That was the last person she has expected to see standing there. There was a momentary flash in her eyes, grief coming to the surface before she shoved the wall in front of it. He looked so much like her husband in that pose, holding their daughter, that it was almost too much for even her defenses. She looked back down at Ian, going to work on cleaning his hands now. "Angel."


"I'm sorry," he said standing there, "but they saw me at the park. Katy... Katy wanted me to bring her up to bed. I couldn't tell her no." He waited for Cordy's response.

She was quiet for a few seconds as she washed Ian's hand. She was trying to decide what to do. She didn't want to fight in front of the kids. She was quite tired also. She finally spoke. "You know where their room is."

"I'll take Ian up also if you want, get them ready and tucked in," Angel offered hoping to take that chore off her.

"Ian needs to take a bath. He is going to be a while before he is ready for bed." She stood up and tossed the dirty handiwipes in the trash. She looked down at Ian. "Go upstairs, pick our your jammies. I will be up in a minute to run the water." She stood there, hands on hips, clear that she wasn't going to take any of his gruff tonight. Ian looked up at his mother for a moment and then back to Angel. He was almost waiting for Angel to tell him he could stay up and play video games.

"Ian, do what mommy tells you," he said. "You look like you brought half the park home with you." His look told Ian there was going to be no fussing about it. When the boy ran upstairs, Angel looked back at Cordy. "I just thought it could be a help if I did tonight so you can go ahead to bed."

"Thank you for offering but I do it every night." She turned away from him. She didn't want to look at him as he stood there holding Kat. She could go to bed but it would do her no good. She wouldn't sleep. It felt strange, after all these years with someone, to be alone in her bed.

Turning, he started for the stairs to take Kat up. "I'll get her down and leave as soon as I can," he said as he started up.

"Thank you." It was hard to tell if she meant the thanks for putting Kat down or for leaving as soon as possible. She wanted to wait for him to climb the stairs before she followed to give Ian his bath.

Angel got Katy ready for bed, even with her passed out. He gotten a washcloth and cleaned her up. He put what looked to be one of his t-shirts, that was laying over the back of the chair in the room, on her. He leaned down and kissed her forehead then stood.

While Angel was busy with Kat, she managed to get Ian into a quick bath. Some nights, the warm water was the only thing that calmed the child. She came back in, carrying Ian as best as she could into the twins’ room. She hadn't witnessed the kiss but she saw Angel standing there. She didn't say a word as she put Ian into his bed.

Angel moved to the door and waited for her to step on out. He had thought about just leaving but he wanted to tell her about Katy at the park.

Cordelia kissed each of her children in turn and then stepped out, closing the door behind her. She was too tired to be venomous, which should be a clear indicator of how much pain she was in.

"How long has it been since you had a good meal," he asked the concern showed in his features. He wasn't liking this at all: Her, the kids... It wasn't healthy for any of them.

She reached down to pick up the toys that were littering the hallway between the kids' room and the master bedroom. "Are you accusing me of being a bad mother now? I cook a balanced dinner for the kids every single night. It’s not anything amazing but it has the four food groups." She had interpreted it that he was trying to suggest she wasn't taking care of the kids. She was doing the best that she could given the situation.

"I am talking about you," he replied. "You're looking a lot like I must have when they pulled me up from the bottom of the ocean."

"I am fine." She got to the playroom, her hands full of toys. She dumped them into the toy box before going to clean up the toys that were on the playroom floor. She didn't want to tell him that she felt such guilt and grief that the mere thought of food was something she couldn't stomach.

The vampire stepped in and started helping her. He started placing stuffed toys in the net and cars on the shelves. "No, you're not fine," he said turning to her, holding a pink bunny. "Part of being what I am I can tell fine on many levels and you're not on the shelf."

She took the pink bunny from him. "I just lost my husband and my best friend. No, I am not fine. But I will survive. Its what I am, a survivor." She turned so that she could put the bunny up in the net with the other stuffed toys. She folded up the plastic easels, putting them in the corner.

"Katy broke down tonight," he said. "She cried. You need to let them see you grieve, Cordy. You can't keep this up."

"Can you spare me the lecture and the advice? I have too much to deal with right now." She stepped out of the room, having this feeling that even despite what she said, he would trail after her. When Ian was sleeping or gone was the only time she could do not only her mom chores but the things she needed to do to keep Angel Investigations going. She went into the home office, grabbing a few books from the huge bookcase against the wall.

"Why don't I go get one of those pineapple and Canadian bacon pizzas you like? My treat?" He was hoping that her favorite pizza would do the trick. She needed to eat and she needed to grieve. He knew much longer and she was going to be in the hospital and that wouldn't be good on the kids.

She turned to look at him. She thought it was just very much a ploy. "What do you want? Do you want to come and go as you please? You want us to just accept you back into the team? Just be honest instead of... This whole "Hey, I want to be your friend" thing. I'm just not in the mood and I am not looking for an Angel replacement, like Fred." She knew that was what Fred was doing. She wasn't stupid, far from it. She was observant enough to notice the missing the clothes, the missing photos, the way Fred would disappear near morning.

"What I want is for you to be here for those babies in there," he said to her stepping up to her. "The rate you're going now you won't be in sight of a week. I'm not thinking of me in this, Cordy." He hoped he was getting to her some way on this. She was looking like a zombie here.

"I find that kind of hard to believe." She stepped around him. She had an armload of books and she was going to sit down at the research table to get a few hours in before her body just gave up. If she slept on a copy of "Demon Factions and Leaders" at least she was sleeping.

"Why is it hard to believe," Angel asked as he took the armload from her. "Why is it so hard to believe I'm concerned for you and for the twins? If you would have seen Katy tonight."

"Because you've pretty much proven that you are pretty selfish." She took the books back from him. She could carry them herself. She put the books down on the table and lowered herself into the chair after she pulled it out.

"Selfish," he said with a raised brow. "How do you figure that?" He would really like to hear this. They'd really never talked this out when he wasn't captive and it was him listening to her.

Cordelia grabbed the pad of paper and pencil she had left there from the night before. She opened one of the books, checking the index before turning the page. "Do I get to use the files or am I stuck with examples from your last month or so in our world?"

"Will you consider where those files came from," he pleaded and sat down across from her. "Is there a reason I haven't been able to look at those files too? Wolfram & Hart would love nothing more then to make sure there wasn't a Champion in any dimension. My coming here probably screwed up their Christmas."

"You want to see the files, they are downstairs in Wes' office. Or you can just go ask Lilah for a copy." She said it rather matter of factly as she wrote down a few notes from the book. "They might have been from Wolfram and Hart but you basically admitted that you were the CEO and all your family was dead because of it. Fred thinks the reason we couldn't send you home was because your world was destroyed in an Apocalypse. Tell me when I am wrong."

“I took it over because I wanted to give Connor something he wanted more then anything, first of all, a normal life. Second, I felt I could take Evil Inc. down from the inside, but I lost my mission... I admit that. But my Cordelia came to me and set me back straight and I knew then what I had to do."

Cordelia just sighed. They already had this discussion when he was caged up. She was too tired to rehash it now. She kept her head down as she wrote something else. "You should listen to yourself when you talk. Even saying it out loud, it’s a recipe for disaster."

"It’s easy to look from here and say that, Cordy," he said. "Being where we were at the time. We lost you to a rogue Power...Fought it...And I wanted Connor to forget all that. Forget...." His voice trailed off.

"That's life, Angel. It’s full of pain and disappointment. Everyone wishes they had a magic wand to erase everything bad and start over. But most people don't go out and get the magic wand. They deal with it. Connor here isn't the best-adjusted kid. He has anger issues, he has trouble connecting. But we would never make him forget because when you erase the bad, you erase all the good too. And I defy you to sit here and tell me that every single moment with Connor was bad. He is a good kid, deep down."

"He was more then that in my dimension, Cordy. And you were more to him, but it wasn't you and he didn't understand that when it was all said and done," Angel finally said as he looked away. "And he wasn't dealing well at all with any of it. I was coming close to thinking I was going to have to take drastic action." He didn't want to say what the action was.

"There are always options other than going to the dark side. You'll never convince me otherwise. In this world, Willow is the most powerful being. Even more powerful than the men who made the first Slayer. If things were that bad, there was nothing that Wolfram and Hart could have done that she couldn't. You can keep talking all you want but you won't change my mind. I made a deal with the devil once and it would have destroyed the world if we didn't catch it in time. Sounds like you made a deal with the devil and it did destroy your world." Cordelia said bluntly.

"Willow is still human. The Senior Partners aren't." He paused then continued. "My Cordelia before she died passed me her visions and I saw what I had to do and I couldn't have done it from where I was. My dimension was going to be destroyed whether I did what I did or not." He raised his hand and rubbed his face

She put her pencil down, looking across the table at him. "You are the most stubborn man that I know. You can't even admit that you made a wrong choice. You have to rationalize it to the point of being ridiculous. You've made a ton of mistakes in the past like say, oh I don't know, going into an alley with a certain blonde or getting groiny with another certain blonde. But you've never have a problem saying hey, know what, I was wrong. Obviously, weren't right about it or you wouldn't here and your world wouldn't be gone."

"Cordelia, from my vision, what was going to happen was going to regardless. It was coming and people were going to die and demons were going to rule. It all was set to motion long before I took Wolfram and Hart," he was trying here. "From Connor's birth to Skip giving Cordy her demon half...It started long before."

She was already exhausted and he was just making it that much more pronounced. She rubbed her temples, her eyes closing, making her pale skin and dark circled eyes even more noticeable. She was chalking this up in the selfish column. He just invited himself in, sat down. She didn't want to throw him out and run the risk he would turn around and do the same to her. "Whatever."

Standing, he looked down at her. "Sorry," he said. He turned for the door then stopped and looked back. "Just remember your own advice about being selfish and remember those children across the hall. Remember what you are doing is also affecting them."

She didn't turn around to look at him. How could she after what he said? "You just don't get it and you never will. You talk to me like this is something I want, like it’s a choice. You'll never understand. I don't think you can."

"What is it you do want, Cordelia," he asked. "What is it that can be done that would help?"

"A magic wand, Angel. I want to be able to go back to a time where I could sleep in my own bed because someone I loved and who loved me was there. Back to a time where I could get through a day without being weighed down with grief and guilt because my husband is gone and I cheated on him with his twin, bringing about a monster that we didn't have the time, energy, or resources to fight. I want my husband here to sit with me and be here to help me like he promised me over and over again. That is what would help."

"If I could make things right for you," Angel spoke softly, "I would." With that, he turned and went on out.

Cordelia pushed the book aside and laid her head on the table. It didn't take long before she was crying, like she had done so many times when she was left alone with her own thoughts. She would cry herself to sleep, for yet another night in a row.

Angel waited in the shadows and listened. When he could tell she was asleep, he slipped into the master bedroom. He turned her bed down then went back to pick her up gently. He carried her to the master bedroom and laid her in the bed. He removed her shoes and then pulled the covers up.

Angel took one more look in on the kids to find them sleeping after having put Cordelia to bed. He moved down the darkened corridors of the hotel and down the stairs. So many times he has walked these halls and stairways and had never once felt like a stranger in his own place. Now he did and was. He stopped on the upper landing, hearing the doors that led from the garage open into the lobby.

Lillian leaned against Connor, laughing as she playfully shoved him once they were in the lobby. "I can't believe that part either. I was so not expecting the shopping cart and...." She paused then though. She felt something, those spidey senses of hers tingling like you would not believe. She went quiet as she saw Angel standing there at the bottom of the stairs.

The smile on Connor's face faded when he saw the dark figure on the landing. He stepped forward. "What the hell are you doing here," he said in a low, even tone.

The vampire stepped on down. "Katy saw me at the park and she refused to come home without me bringing her and tucking her in," he said. He looked from Connor to Lily then back. "I put Cordy to bed also. She's not doing well, Connor. She needs to eat and rest or she'll be in the hospital soon."

Lillian moved so that she was a little behind Connor now. She reached down and took his hand for support. She wasn't sure what she should say or do in this situation. After all, Angelus had attacked her, almost killed her, molested her. That was Angelus though. Plus, the Angel before them wasn't even the Angel they knew.

"And you expect me to believe that," Connor said. "Expect me to believe its all concern and not stalking mother and my brother and sister?"

"I would like you to believe it, Connor," Angel said. He was now standing in front of Connor, well within striking distance. But if that spell worked the same here as it did in his dimension Connor would be in for one helluva headache if he tried.

Lillian looked past Connor's shoulder to Angel. Well, that was a nice night ruined. "Angel...maybe you should just go." She kept a hand on Connor, trying to keep him from going full tilt at the vampire before him.

Angel's eyes went to Lillian then nodded. "I intend to," he replied, "but I'm warning you both Katy and Cordy are in bad ways now. Katy broke down in my arms at the park and I think it’s probably the first time she has. She doesn't need this fighting and blaming now. She needs love and support."

"We can handle it just fine," Connor growled. "Besides who is the one responsible for this to start with?" Connor's muscles in his arms tighten as his fists ball up.

"Connor...Don't. Not here." Lillian said softly to him. She was trying to calm him down. She had to admit that at times, his anger frightened her. It frightened her almost to the point she doubted their relationship.

"Get out of here," the younger man told the vampire. "Get out of here and stay out."

Angel took a last look at them then he headed for the door to leave. Since it was still dark, he went out the front.

Lillian pulled her hand away from Connor's shoulder now that Angel was gone. She only hoped that he wouldn't go running after Angel.

Connor turned and moved to the door. He locked it, like it would do any good, it was just the fact that he could. But what he'd much rather do is kick that door and hear the glass shatter.

Lillian looked at Connor as he stood at the door. It was almost like she knew what he was thinking. She didn't like those thoughts one bit. She finally spoke up, her voice very quiet. "Connor...You know he is right."

Connor turned to look at her. The muscles in his jaws worked. "He'll never be my father. He'll never be part of this family. He comes around here again and I'll dust him."

Lillian kept her distance from him. He looked like a snake, all curled up and ready to strike out at the nearest thing that moved. There was real fear in her eyes as she looked at him. "Connor...You need to calm down..."

Ian was never one for sleeping much. Once he found out that Kat and Mommy were asleep, he had snuck upstairs to see Connor. Not finding him, he came downstairs in time to hear his older brother. "Who you gonna dust, Connor? Can I help?"

Connor looked up to see his little brother. He then looked at Lillian. "Ian," he said, "We're not going to dust anybody tonight. We're just...Talking." Connor did start to calm himself with the boy now present. "What are you doing out of bed. Mom won't be happy if she wakes and finds out."

"I couldn't sleep. I miss daddy and Other-Daddy. Look!" Ian came down the stairs, his arm thrust out to proudly show off his new watch. "Look what Other-Daddy gave me! I can make him beep but its only if I am in trouble. We super secret promised."

Connor's eyes went to the watch and that fire flickered in his eyes again. "He gave you that," he said. He wanted to rip it off the boy's wrist.

Lillian moved to sit at the bottom of the stairs. She gave Ian a small smile. "Here, lets see that watch, Champ." She pulled Ian over and put him in her lap. She held his wrist, looking at it. "This is a very nice watch." Lillian was trying not to look up at Connor. She could tell from the tone of his voice how the emotions were raging inside him.

Ian looked up at his big brother and smiled at him as he nodded. "Yeah. He gave Kat a necklace. And he was gonna get mommy pizza." It was clear that Ian had been listening, at least partly, to the adult's conversation. "He watched me on the spider bars. I did a backflip!"

"Ian, the watch is really cool and all," Connor spoke up, "but its not a good idea to take presents from strangers like that." Connor was going to do his best to influence Ian to not take anything else from Angel.

Ian laughed at Connor. "He isn’t a stranger, silly. He is Other-Daddy. Maybe he will come to the park tomorrow." Ian sounded hopeful before he broke away from Lillian. "Connor...Will you make me some hot chocolate? Please?"

"Sure," Connor said. "One hot chocolate coming right up." He headed for the kitchen. He was really going to have to talk to Mom about this. Letting the kids call Angel “Other-Daddy” was not even close to right in his book.

Lillian looked at Ian with a smile. "How about you go get Uncle Gunn's video games all set up in the break room? We will be in with your hot chocolate in two shakes." Ian nodded his head eagerly and took off for the break room. Lillian moved into the big kitchen, watching Connor. "We need to talk."

He was waiting for the water to boil. Ian was a picky little snot about it. He wanted the water boiled on the stove and not the microwave. He seemed to always know. "Talk about what," he said as he got the hot chocolate mix from the large cabinet.

She sighed softly as she watched him. "You know about what. Your temper, your rage. He was right, Connor. No one needs the fighting and the blame right now."

After tearing the packet open, Connor poured it into a cup then tossed the packet away. "He almost killed you, you know."

"That wasn't him and you know it. That was Angelus. And yes, I do remember that Angelus tried to kill me. He molested me too. But I realize that there were all sorts of circumstances, Connor. And I realize that everyone is hurting. We don't need more pain by pointing fingers and trying to kill each other."

"Yeah, and I think we'd all begin to heal a lot faster if he wasn't around." Connor grabbed the kettle, poured the hot water in, and stirred it. Then getting the marshmallows out. He put a couple in the mug. He popped one in his mouth.

"Connor...Why don't you try to understand all sides of this equation. What would happen if the Council called me on some super secret mission that I had to go alone on? And you felt, deep down that I was gone. But then I show up here. Only, it’s not me. It’s me from a world that is pure hell. And here, it is bliss. Would you kill me too? For wanting to love you? Is that so horrible?" Lillian tried to plead with him.

"I don't even think that would be the same thing," he replied. "This guy didn't have an anchored soul. He was CEO of Wolfram & Hart. He destroyed his own world for god's sake."

"Maybe he just wanted to believe. To believe in something pure and good. You haven't even talked to him. Or even given him a chance. There are reasons, reasons why people do the things they do. Like...If Lilah came in here, right now, and said to you that either you could work for Wolfram and Hart or they would destroy your whole family in a blink of an eye, before you could stop it, what would you do?"

"From those files nobody threatened anybody. He saw a chance for power and he took it," Connor answered to that. He looked down at that steaming hot chocolate.

Lillian was blocking the door so that Connor couldn't leave. "Those files came from Wolfram and Hart. The same place that tried to kidnap you. That has tried to kill your family for years. That did horrible things to numerous to mention to everyone here. Now, couldn't there be a small, tiniest possibility that those files are altered?"

Connor didn't answer to this. He didn't want to answer. He didn't get along with his father that great before why the hell should he get along with his poser?

"You...You have so much hate in your heart. I don't think there is any room in there for love sometimes. And that bothers me. I love you, I do...But all this rage...You scare me in those dark times. More than anything in the world."

He looked up at Lillian. "You think I would hurt you," he said. "I could never do that. I love you, Lillian." He couldn't believe she had just said this.

She looked at him for a moment and then she nodded her head. "You just in such a rage...I worry that one time you are going to go to that place and you are never going to come back. I am going to lose you forever to this hate you carry with you."

"Yeah, well, I've never felt Angel was my biological father. Maybe I've been right all along," he said. "Maybe my true father is Angelus." He had thought this for some time. He has always felt he had more in common with that evil demon.

"If you...If you really feel that way..." Her voice was breaking, cracking as she spoke. She wasn't sure what else to say to him.

“ Ian's chocolate is going to get cold," he said to her.

Lillian nodded her head and she stepped aside so that he could leave. When he walked past her, she touched his shoulder. "For what its worth, Connor...I don't think Angelus is your father. You are a good person, I know that. Its just...This hate is poisoning you."

When she spoke, he paused and looked back over his shoulder at her. But he didn't say anything to that. He headed on out to give his little brother his hot chocolate and try and coax him back to bed.

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Chapter Twenty

Gunn blasted into the hotel, throwing the two doors open. He stumbled down the front stairs. He reeked of ash and sulfur. He called out; hoping that anyone was here. "Kid! English! Barbie!" A huge gash ran the length of his face but he wasn't thinking straight to get himself to a hospital right now. He collapsed to his knees in the middle of the lobby floor.

Wes heard Gunn’s calls from the office. He came out, pulling off his glasses. Frowning, he looked at Gunn and the mess he was in. "What on Earth happened?" he asked.

Connor turned from the weapons cabinet. He'd just put away several of the axes and swords after cleaning. He looked at Gunn and then crossed over to him. Wes had already spoken the question on his mind.

Gunn coughed, long and hard, coughing up more than just phlegm with it. He held an arm around his middle. "The Academy... We were... In the training room and... It blew..."

Wesley led Gunn over to a couch to sit. "My word, is everyone okay?" There was a tinge of urgency in that unshakable British voice of his.

Gunn got up slowly as Wesley helped him to the couch. He was covered in blood, most of it was not his own. He held fast to his middle though. "No..." He croaked out. "Connie is dead. Fantasia is dead. Rita is dead too. A dozen other girls are in the hospital." Gunn paused to suck in a painful breath. "Faith is in the hospital."

"I'm not sitting around for this anymore," Connor said. "I'm taking the fight to them." With the girls dead and Faith in the hospital, Connor was going to track these demons down.

"We don't even know who them is, kid." Gunn wheezed slightly. He had some broken ribs in addition to the gash on his head. That was quite clear now. He looked over at Wesley. "Some of the girls... Internal bleeding... They might not make it."

Wesley was quickly assessing Gunn's wounds. He went and got the first aid kit not speaking yet.

Connor's blue eyes settled on Gunn. "Never stopped us before," he said. "I'll go back to the school and see if I can pick anything up and start tracking."

"Bomb squad is out there now and the place is crawling with cops. Probably crawling with Wolfram and Hart too so they can find out who did this and do a damn victory dance with them." He saw Wes come back with the first aid kit and he held up his hand. "I'm cool. I'll have a doc check me out when I go to see Faith."

"At least clean that place up on your forehead," Wesley handed Gunn a wet cloth and the first aid kit so he could get out one of the alcohol wipes. "We could have had this done by now," the Englishman said. "Angel had hinted he had some leads."

Gunn took the cloth and cleaned up around his face to get all the ash and soot off. The rag came away more bloody than gray. He grabbed an alcohol wipe and ran it down the side of his face without showing the pain on his face. He took a piece of gauze, slapping it against the side of his face to help clot the bleeding. "Might be a way, English."

Wesley looked at him with a frown. "Angel say something to you?"

Connor looked from Wes to Gunn. "Yeah, did he?" the younger man asked. "We all know he had informants that he never told us about because they wouldn't talk to humans."

Gunn shook his head slightly. "Not Angel. The other one. He came over to see me and Faith. Knows a way to get Angel's memories, but needs Connor's help." Gunn glanced over to the kid. That was a snowball chance in Hell right there.

Connor shook his head. He looked up at the ceiling and said nothing. Somehow he knew that faker would enter into this.

Wesley suddenly looked up. He knew what Angel had told Gunn. "The Prophecy. The passage that had been altered," he said. "But Sahjhan is no longer a problem."

"You have to talk him, English. Prophecies ain't my thing. Wants to make a deal with some dude named Vail. That sound familiar to you?" Gunn answered.

"Yes," Wes replied with a nod. "Yes, I have. Cyvus Vail. Very powerful warlock.."

Connor now spoke up. "Oh, hell no," he said. "No. We're not going around messing with magic. That never works for us."

"You are forgetting that magic got rid of Angelus forever, twice, kid." Gunn was starting to feel the fatigue from his injuries. He wouldn't be much in swaying the two other men towards helping Angel. "You get to kill a demon, powerful demon, to help save the girls. I think that is a pretty good trade off."

"That's it," Connor looked at Gunn. "Just kill this demon. The one that sent me into Quor'toth."

"Guess so. Least, according to Angel." Gunn looked over to Wesley now. "What do you think, English?"

Wesley took in a deep breath then let it out. "If we can get the information Angel had," he said. "Any more losses like this recent one is unacceptable."

Gunn then turned his head to look at Connor. He gave him a toothy grin. "Whadda say, kid? You feel like kicking some demon ass?" After tonight, Gunn was fairly well determined to do just about anything to make sure another attack on the school never happened.

Connor had a stubborn look on his face. "One question," he said. "Just how are we going to get these memories and learn what Dad knew?"

Gunn knew. He knew all too well. He also knew that telling Connor would only make the kid turn around and say no. So Gunn did the only thing he could, he lied. "Don't know. All I know is that you kill a demon that sent you to a Hell dimension, we get the memories."

"The memories would have to be put in something organic and..." Wesley stopped and looked up at Gunn, his eyes giving away that he knew what was going to happen.

"Looks like we better get a potato then, right English." Gunn gave him a grin, catching in Wes' eyes that he understood. Wes had to realize that Connor wouldn't do this if he knew the truth. He reached a hand over to clamp it on Wes' shoulder. Not too hard but enough to ask him non-verbally not to say too much. Then Gunn reached into his pocket, knowing that he and Wes needed to talk alone. He winced as he dug the keys out of his jeans. He tossed them to the kid. "Why don't you get the girl warmed up for me, bring her around front. Need someone to drive me to the hospital."

Connor caught the keys. He was far from stupid. He knew why Gunn had asked him. He just nodded and headed on out to the old Ford. That was another curse Connor would probably always bear in this family, being thought of as the kid.

Wesley watched Connor leave but he didn't say anything until he hoped Connor was out of earshot. Well, really out of Connor’s earshot, which was considerably further than any human’s earshot. He looked back at Gunn. "Are you mad?" he asked.

"No, I am hurting because some group blew up the damn school, Wes." Gunn turned as best as he could to look at Wes. On the same side of his face that was sporting the gash, his eye was starting to swell up as well. "Angel has the information. Angel is dead. So we put it in the other Angel and we save lives. I thought that is what we did, we saved people. I got three students dead, probably more will be dead come morning, and my girl is in the hospital. I am doing what is necessary."

Wesley grabbed his jacket. "I'll get Fred to contact Angel," he said. "Seems she's been doing so from since he was sent out from here."

"Now let's just hope that the kid wants to kill the demon." Gunn got up slowly. It was going to be a long, slow walk to the front where hopefully, Connor had the truck waiting. "Hope you guys won't mind if I sit this one out this round." Gunn tried to chuckle but it only aggravated those broken ribs of his.

Reaching out, Wes steadied and lent support to Gunn. "I think that would be wise for all parties concerned," the Englishman agreed. When they were out at the truck Wes opened the passenger door for Gunn. He looked at Connor. "If you wish to battle Sahjhan, Connor, I will find out the details and call you. I warn you, he is not your typical demon."

"Yeah, well," Connor spoke from behind the wheel of the truck, "I'm not your typical human either, am I?"

Gunn got into the truck, sitting himself down. He looked from Wes and then back to Connor. "If you two ladies are done with your tea party, you think you could take me to see my girl now?" Gunn chuckled as he waited for Wes to shut the truck door.

Wesley shut the door. "I think first thing is first, you see a doctor." He gave a look to Connor and the young man nodded. He knew Wes had just made that an order, not a request. The doctor was first, Faith was second. If Gunn tried to fight, Connor would just bodily drag him in.

Gunn just shook his head as Connor put the pedal to the metal, guiding the truck quickly down the streets of LA towards the hospital nearest to the Academy.




Angel waited for Wesley and Connor at the front gate to Vail's estate. When Wes' SUV pulled up, Wes unlocked the doors and Angel got in the back seat. The gates opened and the sound of the iron hinges groaned.

"Man," Connor said, totally ignoring Angel. He was looking at the old house. "How much more Addams Family can you get?"

Wesley pulled up in front of the place and cut off the engine he looked to Connor. "That is about as far as the similarities go. Cyvus, from all accounts, is a very dangerous being." Once Wes was finished speaking, he excited the SUV, followed by the other two men.

"Connor," Angel finally spoke up, "when you confront Sahjhan, don't let him talk much. He'll distract you with words."

Connor turned to look at the vampire. His expression was hard and cold. "I think I can handle it just fine without your help."

Wesley spoke before Angel could reply. "Connor, it would do you well to listen to Angel," he said. "He knows this demon better then any of us. Just please, take the advice."

Just as the younger man was about to speak the large doors opened and a little toady demon answered and allowed them in. He led the three to the meeting hall where the old warlock waited.

Vail stood up slowly, with some degree of difficulty. He wheezed out his greeting as they were shown into the receiving room. "Welcome. I've been waiting for you." He chuckled and then coughed as it seemed he did too much. "I thought our week deadline would pass, Angel."

"Doesn't matter now," Angel said, "we're here." As much as he disliked this, he did know that Cyvus was right in that it had to be done and Connor was the only one that could do it.

"You know," Connor broke in, "I just really want to get this done. I want out of this creepfest as soon as I can."

"Eager boy. Well, then..." Vail stepped down, moving slowly over towards the trio. He raised a gnarled red hand, pointing to his left. "Right through there."

They followed the old wizard. Wesley was taking everything in. He realized that things in this place all had reason and meaning. There were probably wards placed for various reasons. But Vail was so afraid of Sahjhan, it seemed he felt not even his wards would protect him from the demon.

"Now then... Gentleman... Let the boy do what he was meant for." Vail almost wrung his hands with the impending excitement. Connor would kill Sahjhan and that nasty little cur would be a threat no more. Vail looked to Wes though. He could feel the darkness in the man. It was a shame he was in service to another.

Connor stepped forward. "So, where is this badass?" He looked about, not seeing anybody.

Once Connor stepped into the other room, Vail turned to Angel. "He can't see us anymore." Indeed, if Connor looked back, there would be a wall where once was open. In the room was a table and assortment of axes on the wall. On the middle of the table, sat the large urn that housed, or rather trapped, Sahjhan.

Angel tensed. This was still hard even though he seen it before and this Connor stood an even better chance since he had his abilities intact. Wesley could tell that an energy barrier had been put up. Wavelengths told that.

Connor walked over to the table and looked at the jar or urn or whatever the hell that ugly piece of pottery was. "I guess I'm supposed to open it," he said, reaching for the lid and pulling it from the jar.

A silvery smoke seeped out from the urn, slipping down and over the table. The smoke began to take shape, that of the demon Sahjhan. His booming voice carried out before he fully appeared. "Thank you, mortal, for releasing me from my cursed prison. In gratitude, I grant you 3 wishes."

"You know, if I thought you really would I might take you up on that," Connor said as he picked up an axe and looked it over. "Somehow I doubt any of those would come to pass."

"Yeah, just messing with you." The demon looked around the room. "Not exactly a day at the spa in there." He cracked his neck from side to side. "Not exactly a day at the spa out here either."

Connor looked at the demon, his eyes narrowed as he studied him. "So you're the big, bad, bastard that sent me into a hell dimension because you were scared shitless of me." Connor chuckled. "You're one ugly sonuvabitch."

"Kiss your mother with that mouth, kid?" Sahjhan looks Connor over. "It’s been a long time since I saw you but I expected you to be more... Intimidating."

"Looks can be deceiving," Connor said. He swung the axe targeting for the demon's neck. He was channeling all his rage to this.

Sahjhan stepped back enough to be out of the way of the swinging axe. He grabbed it where the head met the shaft and twisted it out of Connor's grip. He had a weapon now at least but that wasn't his style. He brought his fist back, punching Connor hard in the gut.

That punch knocked Connor back and flying. He hit the wall then slid to the floor. He lay there a moment working on getting his wind back.

Angel's fists balled as he watched this for a second time. Wesley looked over at the vampire and he could see the genuine concern on his face. Then he looked to Vail. He'd never seen the warlock but he had heard of him.

"Calm down, vampire. You have seen this all before. Maybe it turns out different in this world, though?" Vail coughed again. His black eyes trained once more on Wesley. He was... Unstable He could appreciate that. Though the man had tried to kill his double in Angel's original world.

While Connor was catching that breath, Sahjhan stalked over to the young man. He picked him up by the collar of his shirt and tossed him across the room. "You know... I went through a lot of trouble to get rid of you. What a colossal waste of time that turned out to be."

When Connor landed, he was on his feet. He had a sword pulled from the wall. He faced Sahjhan. He took the move and came at him, bringing the blade in a low arching swing.

Angel shot a glance at Vail. If Connor lost this fight then Cyvus would have more then Sahjhan to worry about.

Sahjhan rather preferred not to fight with weapons. Really, what was the point in this dimension when he could just skip to another. Something on this room was preventing that though. He grabbed the urn off the table, hurling it towards Connor's arm in an effort to break the kid's arm and disarm him.

Connor just knocked the urn out of the way. This demon was the root of his trouble. This demon was why a mad man took him from his parents As he rounded the table, keeping an eye on Sahjhan, he kept the sword in one hand and he picked up another axe in the other. Leaping the table, he swung the sword again.

He wouldn't have a choice in this fight if he wanted to keep his head. Someone had been training the kid. Maybe sending him to a Hell dimension was not the best of ideas. He grabbed a sword off the wall to block the sword swinging down at him. He twisted it and pulled, yanking the sword out of Connor's grip, once more disarming him. Using the kid's own inertia against him, he kicked him in his midsection to send him flying.

When the demon locked the sword, a move Connor was depending on he brought the axe about in his other hand and as Sahjhan kicked him back the axe when into him. Connor kept hold of the handle with the head now imbedded in the demon. When he got his footing again his left leg came aiming for Sahjhan's head.

The axe head stuck in his side but at least he got the kid off him. He pulled it out with some degree of difficulty, stumbling back a few feet with it. With the axe head now pulled from his body, he flung it like a Frisbee at Connor while he was going up for that kick. Connor had the choice to either follow through and maybe lose that leg or drop back down to avoid the axe head spinning towards him.

Connor tucked and rolled to the floor to avoid the axe. As he did he landed by one of the heavy dining chairs. Rolling up and grabbing the chair by the legs he swung it for Sahjhan's back. The thoughts of the girls that had just died in the attack and of Faith in the hospital fueled that rage in Connor. A rage that had been at the boiling point for some time and the pressure cooker was about to blow.

Sahjhan was in mid-turn to hit the kid again when the chair swung at him. It caught him in the side, where Connor had already hit him once before with the axe. The chair splintered against him, sending him reeling into the table. A rather large piece of the chair jutted out from his side, adding to the already open and bleeding wound.

With the demon down, Connor was up with that fallen sword in his hand. "No matter how you try a fake prophecy, demon," Connor said to Sahjhan with venom, "the true one always comes to light." The sword came down for Sahjhan's neck.

The sword sliced through the demon's neck cleanly. As it came to hit the table, the barrier between the two rooms fell, allowing both parties to once again see each other and move freely. Vail managed a weak clap but at least now one of his greatest foes was no more. "I'll have... My servants take care of the body."

Connor stood there still ripe with anger. He looked back at the three. His breathing was hard He would so love an excuse to take out Angel and the warlock right now.

Wes stepped forward. "Connor," he said in that calm voice of his, "perhaps we need to go home now and see if there is news on Faith."

"Ah, feisty boy you have got there, Angel." Vail moved slowly towards a rather large cabinet on the other side of the room. He had no desire to die anymore than any of the rest of them did. If Connor destroyed the old warlock, the Senior Partners would retaliate. The same events would unfold in this world as they had in the other. Vail hoped that one of them, perhaps the unstable one, had enough sense to explain these things to the boy.

"I'm not his boy," Connor said as he stepped around Wes and for the warlock.

Angel quickly was there and his hand caught Connor's wrist. "Connor, now is not the time," he said as he locked eyes with the young man. His voice holding that same commanding tone he had used on Connor after the vampire had been brought back up from the ocean depths.

Vail gave another wheezing chuckle. "You didn't tell them what happened in your world when you sent Wesley to kill me? No one wants history to repeat. You are also down one Old One now." The warlock's shaky hand opened one side of the cabinet. Inside were vials of all different colors, bright lights swirling within them. He picked one out from the rest, which seemed to carry the brightest hue of all. The essence inside was bright blue, like a robin's egg.

Wesley came up on the other side of Connor. "Angel is right," he said. "Let's go out to the car and go home now."

Connor just gave them all one last look then dropped the sword and stormed out. Wesley gave Cyvus a last look then look to Angel. "I hope this doesn't turn out badly." With that he followed Connor on out.

Angel's gaze followed Wesley on out then he looked to the old warlock. He frowned seeing what was in the cabinet. Then he looked at Vail not saying a word.

Vail held the vial out for Angel to take. He didn't say anything as he waited for the vampire to take it. "Not as impressive, but its only memories for one. No shattering this time. Down the hatch with it." He patted Angel on the back as he moved back to his large chair. He had been standing too long while watching the fight.

Angel looked at the vial in his hand. "Looks can be deceiving," he said. He pocketed it and turned for the door to leave.



Angel opened the door to the liar that had once belonged to the snitch Merl. It creaked in protest on the rusted hinges. After stepping in, he closed the door and bolted it locked. He moved to the corner where the simple surplus army cot was. He pulled off his coat and then took the vial from its pocket. Laying the coat aside he sat on the cot. He looked at that glowing vial in his hand. Memories... Memories of another man that was him and not. It seemed they had the same life up until a few years ago and that this is what his life would have been if he'd say maybe skipped that cup of coffee that morning or wore the striped shirt and not the solid.

The vampire finally pulled the little stopper from the vial that put it to his lips and drank, or thought he drank because he tasted nothing. That wasn't unusual, though. Vampires didn't taste much of anything they took in except that of blood. He laid back and closed his eyes. But relaxation was not in the offering for him. Suddenly, they hit: the memories. His eyes opened and his hands gripped the sides of the cot.

Each of the memories seem to hit like a freight train running at the speed of light, coming at him so quickly that it was hard to see but a glimpse of each. They came in order though, overlapping and enhancing the ones he already had of his first two hundred plus years until it came to that point of divergence. This was the night of the meeting on Point Dume where the memories differed from him and this world's Angel. Instead of going to be locked at the bottom of the ocean, he went to be with Cordelia. Instead of spending three months trapped, they spent months searching for a cure, finding it, and being with Cordelia. While he was busy trying to figure out why LA was dark, this Angel was celebrating his wedding his honeymoon. While he was running Wolfram and Hart, the Angel here was becoming a father. The two lives were so different and it was clear that this was not only a different life but in the future as well. He had been transported through dimensions and through time to this moment. As the memories settled after the initial rush, he could now access them as if they were his own, so vivid and compelling. It was as if he had lived this other life and been this other Angel, a man who was far more romantic and decisive in his decisions.

Angel laid there and started sorting out these memories. He had all night to. He began to focus on one particular memory, one that stuck out in his mind.

The green rolling hills and cool breeze, it was surprising how little had changed over the centuries here in this corner of Ireland. Angel was astride a big gray warmblood. He looked to the side to see Cordelia riding a tri pinto beside him. She was all decked out in riding attire. "I'm only sorry this can't be during the day," he said to her. "I remember as a boy how blue the sky is against the green hills."

"And I look upset about it how?" Cordelia turned to grin at him. Anyone who knew her could tell that she was in heaven. How could she not be? She was here with the person she loved most in the world, her best friend, and she was doing an activity she used to adore but had to stop once the IRS stepped in. "Its beautiful at night. Shame its kind of cloudy though. It would have been nice to see the stars." She looked up into the sky, as if just saying it could change things.

He stopped his horse and at the same time reached for the reins on hers to stop him. When Cordy looked to him, he leaned over and kissed her.

She kissed him softly. They had enough of the impassioned fiery kisses on the way over here on the plane as well as when they settled into their hotel room. She pulled away from him with a smile. "Race you to that fence." She pointed to a fence off to the distance. She wouldn't be taking no for an answer. "Ready... Set... Go..." She urged the horse forward with all the experience of a practiced rider. Angel surely had no idea what he was getting into with her and his suggestion.

Angel grinned when she kicked her horse off. His own arched its neck and chomped down on the bit wanting to go. When he did give the horse head, it leaped into a gallop after the pinto.

Cordelia glanced over her shoulder for just a nanosecond to see where Angel was. He was fast approaching on her. She leaned down against her horse, urging him to go faster. She wasn't going to let Angel win this race, not unless he had some demon or vampire horse. The fence was still several yards off but she was coming upon it quickly.

The gray wanted his head but Angel kept the rein in check. He hadn't wanted to come back here, to the land of his birth and rebirth, but Cordelia insisted. She didn't want to see Ireland as a tourist but she wanted to see it through his eyes. He realized now there were things she wanted him to face. The vampire let his mount's head come up to the right flank of the pinto.

Cordelia turned her head just enough to see that Angel was gaining on her at a maddening pace. She wasn't about to let him win, that was for sure. She dug her heels into the pinto to get that last burst of speed to take her to the fence. There were only yards between herself and victory now.

Angel pulled back a bit more on the reins to allow Cordelia to get just a tad bit more of a lead and win.

At least Angel already knew that sometimes, you have to let your wife win, especially when your wife had that bit of a competitive streak in her. Whether it was trying out for head cheerleader or being prom queen or just getting to the phone first, it was the little wins that make life worth it. Reaching the fence, she guided her horse to turn just before it and begin to slow down as they moved next to the fence. She knew better than to just stop after a run like that.

He let her win but didn’t mean he still couldn't show off. Angel didn't slow up his horse, instead he set the gray up to take the wall. When the horse gathered, Angel leaned forward. The horse leaped and they were over the wall.

Cordelia watched all of this and she laughed at him. She called out from the end of the fence, "SHOWOFF!" She slowed the horse down until they were moving at a leisurely pace back to Angel and his horse.

There was a break in the fence a few yards down. Angel turned the horse and trotted him for it. "Me," he called back and then indicated the horse, "it was him."

Cordelia just laughed at him. For the first time, in a long time, she hadn't seen any trace of the brood. He was actually having fun, enjoying himself, and she was too because he was happy. She was about to say something when she felt something hit her cheek.

Angel felt it too. He looked up and then cocked his head to listen. "We'll never make it back to the cottage," he said. He could hear the oncoming rain over the hill. He looked to Cordy and turned the gray. "C'me on," he said as he pushed the horse to a canter.

"Oh, you have to be kidding me." She looked around and saw nothing but open space. Angel knew this area better than she did but that was how many centuries ago? She followed him but she could feel more and more little droplets hitting her.

There, backed up to a little hill was a barn with stone walls and thatched roof. "We can hold up in there and wait it out. Hopefully it'll pass before dawn."

It’s not as if it was a downpour. It was one of those drizzles that gets you soaked before you even knew it. She could already feel her hair and clothes clinging to her body. She was also getting cold. It might be summer but it was also Ireland and raining.

At the door of the barn, he jumped down from his horse. Pulling the reins from over his head then turning to the wooden doors, Angel opened them and led his horse in. There were a couple stalls and he led the gray into one. He turned and waited for his wife.

She was in a hurry now because the light drizzle was getting to be a little more... Insistent She dismounted and grabbed the reins of her own horse to follow Angel in. She just hoped that the owners didn't decide to show up sometime tonight. She led the pinto in a stall right next to the gray. She was starting to look very drowned rat though.

"Ah, Ireland," Angel said putting on just a bit of a brogue. He looked at Cordy dripping now. He stepped over to her. She looked damn sexy in that wet riding habit.

She grabbed a handful of hair and rung it out. How she let him talk her into growing her hair back out, she had no idea. She had to admit, short and blonde did not work for her. She looked up at him when he walked over to her, smiling just a bit. "Hey you..." She said softly.

"Hey," he said back. With that, he couldn't hold off any longer. He grabbed her and pulled her to him. Leaning down, he kissed her hard and deep, his hand slipping over her ass in those tight fitting riding pants.

She slid easily into his arms. Her own arms came up and around his neck as he kissed her. She surged her body up against his. He was even colder than usual given the temperature outside but she was determined to warm him up.

Her body was warm, inviting. Angel reached up and started pulling on her riding coat, not breaking that kiss. He could hear her heart speed up and this aroused him even more. He wanted her and wanted her now.

She struggled to get the coat off herself as he pulled on it, twisting her body but careful not to break that kiss. She pushed against his body, pushing him back against a support beam. She moved her hands off his neck, into the hair at the back of his head.

His long fingers worked between them on the buttons on her blouse. He was lost in the taste of her lips on his. When he got the blouse open, his hands slid under to touch her firm but soft skin.

She had to break the kiss now though so she could draw in a sharp breath. The feeling of his cold fingers against her slick skin, sliding easily over her body thanks to the rain, was enough to give her shivers. She was far less delicate with his shirt, taking her hands from the back of his head and moving them to either side of his shirt. She took it up in big handfuls and pulled, ripping it off him. She went at him again, kissing him harder this time.

Angel shrugged the tattered shirt off. If he'd ripped hers, he'd have not heard the end of it until they landed in London on their way back and went to Harrah's to buy her a new one. He turned her as they kissed so her back was to the hay pile behind them.

She broke the kiss once more, panting lightly as she looked at him. Her eyes told him everything that he needed to know. Rip it, tear it, do whatever he wanted in the heat of the moment, she wanted it. "Angel..." She spoke his name, her voice hoarse, beckoning him.

Pulling her blouse off, he knelt down and started kissing her warm flesh with his cool lips. He slipped his hands up her back to get her bra off. He loved to unwrap presents and this was the best present of all. With the bra off, he raised up to lick her left breast then run his tongue over the nipple. He pulled at her pants now and when those were open he pushed her back on the hay pile. He just looked at her for a moment then started pulling her boots off.

She couldn't help giggling just a bit when he kissed her skin. He was so eager, like it was Christmas. However, when she felt his tongue against her nipple, she moaned softly. It was all too brief though as she felt him tugging at her pants and then pushing her gently back against the hay. She fell back, landing into the hay pile. She watched him as he pulled her boots, keeping her eyes locked with his.

With the boots off he reached for her waistband of her pants. He started pulling them off her, along with her panties The vampire looked down at her for just a moment then he covered her body with his, finding her breast with his mouth again. As he sucked, his other hand moved to give her other breast attention. He was groping with his whole hand then rolled her nipple in his fingers.

Her back arched, pressing her breasts up against his hands and his mouth. She allowed herself a few moments of his attention before she moved to sit up, pushing him back up with her body. She touched his chest, running her fingers over the wet wife beater. She grinned at him with a devilish twinkle in her eye. "You need to get out of these wet clothes."

"Yeah," he said in a hoarse voice. "It does seem one of us is at a disadvantage here." Sitting up, he pulled off his half boots. He didn't go for the traditional riding attire like Cordy had. He kept his eyes on her as he got to his knees and then unfastened his pants. Then he grinned at her. "You get them off me."

"Oh... I'll get you off, all right." She laughed softly as she moved closer to him. She pulled the wife beater over his head. She leaned forward, running her tongue from his navel to his Adam's Apple before she nipped at his chin. Her hands were busy, slipping into his pants and boxers.

Angel's grin broadened as she started her play. After the nip on his chin, he bent his head down and kissed her, slipping his tongue into her mouth. He growled from the attentions he was getting from her hands even though it didn't take much encouraging to start making that part of him she loved to start coming up.

She took his tongue between her lips, sucking on it. She pushed her naked body against his body. She couldn't help but shiver as hot met cool again. Her hand found his cock, circling her fingers around it. She didn't start stroking him but instead, waited to see what he would do.

He pulled back from her quickly, his hands taking her by the upper arms and then he tossed her into that haystack. With that done, he pulled of his pants and boxers, tossing them over a rail in the barn. Now he turned to her and leaped into the hay grabbing her.

It was all in good fun. She knew that he would never hurt and that he was always careful. She had to laugh as he leapt into the hay to grab her. "Angel...You are nuts."

He rolled over, pulling her on top of him. His hands rested on her ass, which felt so nice. "Don't let it out and ruin my rep," he said, not wanting this moment to end.

"I am telling everyone when we get home." She leaned down and this time, she kissed him very softly. She just barely pressed her lips against his. It was just a brief moment of tenderness before the main event.

His hand moved down her ass crack and under to find her sex. Those long skilled fingers stroked her.

She broke that soft kiss. Her lips moved across his cheek and to his ear. Her body moved against his stroking fingers. She wanted him, badly, but she knew better than to just go about taking the plunge. She kissed the shell of his ear before her tongue ran along it, tracing it as if it was new to her.

Angel shuddered some. The muscles in his gut tensed. His fingers continued to tease her sex. He kept his eyes closed working on keeping his demon in check. He'd tasted her on their wedding night but he was still uncertain about releasing his demon all the time.

She could feel him tense though and she stopped her movements. She keeps her mouth at his ear though. "Angel... What's wrong?" She wasn't sure if that was tensing in pleasure or tensing in stress.

He kissed her bare shoulder. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing other then... Then having you. Wondering what I have done to deserve such a wonderful person in my life."

She closed her eyes as she felt him kiss her shoulder. "Here, sit up. I've been reading up on my Cosmo Kama Sutra." She opened her eyes and pulled up enough so that she could look down at him.

When she was up enough, he sat up also. His eyes remained locked on hers. "Oh, you have, huh?"

"I have to keep up with you, don't I? Though, I think it might be fun if when we got home, you taught me some new tricks." She rested her arms on his shoulders for a moment. She had to get her body positioned just right. She memorized that little pamphlet in her Cosmo, every single page of it. She really should have been filing but she had a feeling Angel would forgive her just this once.

"I just might," he said, his hands on her hips. "Some very special ones." His hands moved over her hips and thighs. "I see so many beautiful colors around you."

She leaned forward to kiss him after he said that. If only he had any idea how happy she was now. She slid her hand down his chest, between their bodies. She once more wrapped her fingers around his cock. She sat up just enough so she could lower herself back down around him.

Angel closed his eyes feeling her around him. This had to be his reward from The Powers for having fought for them as he had all these years. He wasn't human. But he could be happy and have a life with a caring woman beside him.

She brought her arm back up to rest on his shoulder. She leaned forward, her lips brushing his. "Open your eyes. I want to see you. I want you to see me." She started very slowly to move her body. Her hips barely rocked forward before pulling away from him.

He slowly opened his eyes. "I can see you in so many other ways," Angel said and then kissed her lightly in return. He started moving with her, feeling her body one with his.

She used her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her. She wanted to touch as much of his body as possible with her own. She kept her eyes opened as they just barely kissed.

Angel loved those eyes. He could see her every emotion in them and when she was happy they sparkled brighter then any star in the heavens. As she moved on him, his hands moved over her body. His sensitive touch memorizing every part of her body.

She broke that barely there kiss as she felt his fingertips touch that sensitive little spot at her lower back. Her back arched and curled, forcing her whole body against his, moving him deeper inside of her.

He pressed his face to her collarbone, kissing along it. What she was doing to him would have took his breath away... If he had any. His body trembled feeling her against him.

She reached back to take one of his hands from her lower back. She guided his hand over her skin, down her hip, and between them. She knew that was all the instruction he was going to need. She still moved slowly against him, wanting this to be more than just the act. They were sharing a moment together, something so special and intimate, and something that neither of them thought they would ever have.

That hand needed no instructions. His fingers slipped down over her mound and stroked. As she rose, he slipped his fingers under her.

She was quiet for now but her body was saying all that she couldn't put into words. Moving in that steady, slow rhythm against him, his fingers gently stroking her, it wouldn't be long before she climaxed. She wanted it to be with him. She tilted his chin up from her collarbone so that she could look at him. She just looked into his eyes, asking him if he was close.

To answer her, he leaned up and kissed her. It was a kiss full of love and passion. His other hand moving up her back. He was determined not to let the demon have her tonight.

That was all the answer that she needed. She let him guide the kiss between them. She was actually happy that she could be with the man part of him tonight instead of the demon. She broke the kiss though, her chin tilting back as she panted softly. Her entire body arched, following her chin, as she climaxed.

His hands went up her sides. He throbbed hard in her and then released. He could hear her heart racing and feel the heat of her body. He so wished he could share that feeling. Then he saw her exposed neck and for one brief moment, he almost gave in.

She bowed her head as her climax ebbed away from her, resting her forehead against his shoulder. It was mostly to cool off her fever. This was the best way to warm up that she could think of and it had worked wonders.

Angel wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him as he softened in her. "I better find you blanket," he said in a whisper.

"No." She told him. She didn't want to leave his arms or leave this feeling. She knew that the moment he pulled away and out of her, it would be gone. "Don't move. I'm perfect right now."

"I don't want you getting chilled," he said, bringing a hand up to stroke her hair. "Can't have you getting sick with our honeymoon only half over."

"I'll be fine, Angel. This is where I want to be, with who I want to be, how I want to be." Cordelia's voice was firm. She wasn't going to take any more guff on his part. She kept her eyes on his as he stroked her hair. A slow smile spread across her face though as a thought entered her mind.

"I like this too," he had to admit. He leaned back into the hay, taking her with him.

She rested her cheek against his shoulder and his chest when he leaned back into the hay. She gave a soft sounding sigh. "Does it make me any less Cordy when I tell you that I kind of like it when you get all demanding and take what you want-y? You know, when you know I want it too?"

"Does it make me any less Angel to demand and take...When I know you want me to," he replied back to her.

"Hmmm...I think we pretty much have this marriage thing figured out then." She rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. "I just want to stay like this... For a few minutes more."

Angel's eyes opened. He laid there just looking at that concrete ceiling. This could have been his life if he'd made different choices but those choices were long before Wolfram & Hart, before the bluffs. The choice he should have made was when he first realized he loved Cordelia but never acted on it. In this life, he'd acted sooner. He'd taken that right turn instead of the left. He brought his hands up to cover his face then rub his eyes. The memories now made him more a part of this dimension. It made him more a part of the people in it that he counted as his family.

He'd never be able to make them understand, he realized this, but he was now the Angel of this world. He was this world's Champion. The anchoring of his soul had made the largest difference here. He realized what that had done... It had made the man and the beast one. It was not longer just Angel or just Angelus, two separate entities. They were one now. The demon part of him was also ensouled.

Angel sat up now. That attack on the convalescent home was not random and it had done exactly what it was meant to do: take him out. This group knew Angel would sacrifice himself to save the really helpless of the helpless. He'd found them and they knew it. He'd not had time to tell anyone when the threat on the nursing home came in and Wesley was to meet him there. Well, they thought he was dead. Surprise is all going to be theirs.

Angel stood up and grabbed his coat. He went for the door. He had a couple people to see and then a nest of big bads to clean out.


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