Title: Eternal Torment
Author: Lilyana_Vamp & Sunscorched
Posted: 05-27-2003
Email: Lilyana_vamp@yahoo.com Aurora_plym_uk@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-15
Category: Angst
Content: C/A implied
Summary: Humans aren't the only ones who weren't meant to have visions.
Spoilers: Only if you haven't seen S3
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: NF anyplace else just ask.
Notes:
Feedback:
Thanks/Dedication:Part 10: Bless My Soul
Cordelia heard exactly what Angel instructed them to do, she stood innocently in the middle of the room, hands behind her back and no intention of attacking anyone. There were far worse things than bringing death to somebody, just ask Lilah.
She put as much sweetness into her eyes as possible as she watched the door get pushed open. "Hi guys, come in" Cordelia invited good naturedly, "You'll have to excuse the mess, I didn't know I was gonna be expecting company"
Her hazel eyes roamed over Gunn first, fighting back a smile when she thought of Fred and her taco-tasting blood. Next, her eyes wandered to Wesley wondering if he'd taste like Earl Grey tea, Angel was next.
Angel. Angelus. Her sire.
Cordelia hadn't yet tasted sire blood, but she would be sure to bite hard when she got the chance. Her thoughtful gaze came to rest on Willow, Xander and Buffy, then her grin came.
Angel tensed, sensing the longing for Slayer blood in Cordelia, "Not gonna happen Cordy" he told her in a low voice.
"Aurgh, paranoid much?" Cordelia asked as she rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip. "Long time no see guys, how is good old Sunnydale?" she asked as if she was happy to see them.
"I thought Angel said she was dangerous" Xander whispered to Gunn and got a glare in response.
"Same old, same old" Buffy replied stiffly, "We're here to help you Cordy so don't even think of trying to kill any one if us"
"Excuse me Miss Slay Gal, did I say anything about killing any of you?" Cordelia asked pointedly with a raised eyebrow. Every human expression she made drove the knife into Angel's heart deeper, twisting viciously. "Have I even made one offensive move? I distinctly remember me inviting you into my humble abode"
"You can't fool me Cordy, I'm the Slayer I know a lying vampire when I see one" Buffy retorted as she folded her arms over her chest. The slight movement drawing Cordelia's eyes over her wavy hair before locking onto Buffy's green eyes.
Cordelia looked back at Angel triumphantly, "You so owe me Broody Boy, I knew that girl looked just like her"
"Cordelia" Angel growled as a warning for her to shut up, knowing what she was going to say.
Cordelia pouted slightly, "I think Buffy would be really flattered that was thinking about her Angel. It's probably the biggest compliment she could ever get"
Buffy looked at Angel's nauseous expression, "What's she talking about Angel?" she asked.
"Nothing, she's just trying to goad you" Angel fibbed a little, the last thing he needed was that coming out. He could still those accusing, dead green eyes staring at him blaming him for her death. The roses had been expertly woven into the blonde hair, the red contrasting against the pale hair and deathly complexion.
"Angel, don't you dare call me a liar" Cordelia yelled in insult, "There is one thing Cordelia Chase has never been and that is a liar"
"Maybe we should just get this over with?" Willow spoke up, stopping anything more from being said.
"Hi Willow" Cordelia greeted shooting glares at Angel, "Here to bestow me with a soul huh? I know there's no way I'm gonna be able to get out of it so I may as well deal"
That sentence threw everyone for a loop.
"Y-you're going to accept this?" Angel asked, his voice laced with hope for her and him alike.
Cordelia nodded, "Do I have a choice?" she asked simply.
Angel shook his head, "We will still have to restrain you Cordy, I can't, won't, trust you not to hurt W-anyone in here"
"Lilah deserved that Angel" Cordelia's voice went from sweet to hard, cold and emotionless. "Don't you remember how she tortured me herself? Those visions she tapped into? Making me burn, covering my skin with boils, claw marks all over my back and body?" she asked.
"And you still let her walk away" Cordelia tutted with disappointment at him. "If you had killed her then, I wouldn't have felt the need to react through post traumatic stress disorder would I? Because lately, my life has been one big stress out"
"Willow, can you recite the spell from here?" Wesley interrupted quickly, not wanting either Cordelia or Angel to say anymore.
Willow frowned a little, "I can try"
"Do it" Angel's pained voice ordered her firmly.
"If not, I can go in there and knock her out, easier and we won't suffer any headaches" Buffy stated.
"I like the knocking out vamp Cordy plan" Xander spoke his thoughts then cringed when Cordelia looked directly at him but didn't say anything.
Instead her eyes wandered to Willow and flashed yellow and an evil grin crossed her face. "How's the little lady?" she asked lightly, "Did Angel tell you I like women too?"
"You're a lesbian?" Xander yelled with wide eyes and open jaw.
"Xander shut up, Cordelia this is your last warning" Angel growled as his own eyes flashed yellow.
Gunn watched everything and tightened his grip on his axe, suspicious of both vampires.
Cordelia looked at Gunn and winked at him. "How's Fred? She all better?"
Angel put a restraining arm against Gunn to stop him from attempting to take Cordelia's head. "Gunn, she's just trying to get to you. Don't let her"
"She was really tasty. Something about all those tacos she eats I guess." She looked at Angel and grinned. "What's the matter, afraid we'll get into a little rumble? Who you more afraid for?"
Angel pointedly looked at the people around him, "Honestly?" he asked her.
"Yeah, honestly," she rolled her eyes. "You more afraid for the humans or for you own childe that you made?"
"I'm more afraid for my friends because I know what you're capable of. But on the other hand, there is a vampire Slayer here that is more than capable of taking you on so I suggest you don't try anything stupid" Angel replied in a fatherly tone of voice brought on by her sire-childe comment.
She pouted slightly at his tone. "But I'm so hungry. You didn't even bring me anything to eat last night." She looked at the group longingly.
"I think you ate enough yesterday" Angel told her, wondering how she could still be hungry after all she had had over the last few days.
"You kinda get used to eating alot," she smiled. "Don't you remember? It's like an addiction. You can never get enough." She looked at him as she heard Willow start reciting the incantation. Her eyes grew wide with fear like they had the night before when he had locked her in the room. "Don't do this. I don't want you to do this! I don't want to be like you!" she half screamed, half pleaded.
"Cordy, it's for your own good. You can't go on hurting people the way you have" Angel told her as he blocked her pleas from his mind and tried to concentrate on the fact that she would need him after this.
"No! It's not for my own good! I'll be miserable and you know it!" She lunged for the door desperately.
Angel caught her before she hurt any of them and tightly held her arms at her side, crushing her to his chest. "Cordy, Cordy. You have to calm down you're only going to hurt yourself if you're not careful. Please Cordy, I'll take care of you, I swear it"
"Let go of me! Why are you doing this? I hate you!" she screamed before collapsing against him. She felt a pain shoot through her entire body and then felt something filling a void she didn't even know she had.
Angel yet again caught her as his senses picked up on the soul now back in her body. He began murmuring comforting noises in her ear as they sank to the ground. "It's gonna be alright Cordy, I promise. I'll take care of you; you'll be all right. You'll be alright," he repeated over and over again.
She began to cry quietly, burying her face in his chest. She couldn't remember exactly what she had done, but she knew it was horrible. She held onto his arm, trying to handle the overload of sensations she was suffering from.
"Should we go?" Xander asked quietly, watching the two of them as his own heart ached. He'd always hated to see Cordy in pain.
Willow nodded tiredly, slumped against Buffy who was watching expressionless at the scene. "I think we should go back to the lobby, but we can't leave yet. I need to see if the spell worked properly" Willow replied quietly as she gently tugged on Buffy's arm to get her to move.
Buffy slowly turned toward Willow and put a supporting arm around her. "Yeah, let's go."
"Angel?" Cordy whispered quietly almost afraid to hear her own voice.
"Cordy?" Angel raised her now tear-stained face to his compassionate one. "Are you ok? I know it hurts a lot right now but it will get easier. I promise" he swallowed down his emotions. She needed him to be strong for her, which made a change.
"Angel..." She was scared to ask him what she needed to know. "What happened? Why don't I remember? What did I do? Why do I hurt so bad?" Her voice was hardly more than a whisper. She could hear the terrified screams in her head, but she couldn't remember why they were screaming.
Maybe it was a good thing she didn't remember Angel thought. "You need to get some rest first Cordy, then we'll talk tomorrow" he told her in a whisper of his own.
She had never been so scared to sleep before that she could remember. She clutched his arm tightly. "Please don't leave me. Promise me you won't leave me," she pleaded frantically.
Angel wrapped his entire body around hers, "Not leaving you ever Cordy, couldn't let you leave me and can't leave you" he told her harshly. "Youre my childe. Mine"
She cried into his arms and shook, but his embrace slowly calmed her, letting her eyes shut. She drifted into a fitful sleep, keeping a tight grip on his arm as she did.
Wesley finally managed to drag Gunn away from the vampires lying inside the destroyed room. "Gunn, they have a lot to deal with. Let them work through it" he told the younger man glaring at Angel and Cordelia as she cried into Angel's chest.
"This isn't right," Gunn answered angrily. "This never should have happened in the first place. She shouldn't have to be going through this." He swung his axe and buried the blade deep into the wall beside him before walking away from Wesley, heading to the lobby to check on Fred.
Wesley looked once at Angel and Cordelia before following Gunn with a heavy heart and hopes that things would get better. He hoped that Cordelia's turning wouldn't tear their family apart.
Part 11: Souls Come and Go
Cordy was awakened by her own screams and she reached for Angel in panic. She couldn't get the sight of Fred in Angel's arms, blood trickling from her neck, out of her head.
Angel immediately woke at the sound of Cordelia screaming and instantly knew she was suffering from nightmares. He took her shaking hands and brought her against him, rocking her gently as she cried and banged her fists lightly of his chest. His own eyes filled with guilty tears, this whole thing was just a mess. "I'm here Cordy, you're not on your own. Ssh, ssh" he tried to soothe her as much as he could. Angel couldn't help but feel a little happy that he was able to give her the care she needed. The care he had never received when he first got his soul. He needed her as much as she needed him. Angel stroked her hair delicately as he continued to soothe her gently.
"I'm so so sorry," she cried into him and held onto him tightly. She felt him touch her hair and her cries lessened slightly. "I'm so sorry for everything I did. Please, tell Fred I'm sorry."
"Tomorrow you can tell her yourself. She's fine now, don't worry" Angel rocked her as grasped her to him. He hated to see her suffering like this, hated to this happening to her. But at the same time, he couldn't help but enjoy the sire-childe connection between them.
She looked at him and shook her head. "No. I can't see her. I can't see any of them. I don't know what I've done. I can't put them through any more. It would be better if I didn't see them."
"Cord...Cordy look at me" Angel tilted her face so she was looking at him. Her hazel eyes shining like jewels, with tears her cheeks a little red and blotchy and her lips red. "You can face them, you have to face them. They are not gonna turn on you Cordy, I promise you. You can do this, I'll be right there for you nothing and I mean nothing will ever hurt you again" he told her firmly in a thick voice. "I am so sorry I did this to you, you have nothing to be sorry for, I was the one who got your vision wrong. I am so sorry you're going through this"
She knew that she should be angry with him for turning her, and she was, but at the same time, she felt a love for him that she had never experienced before. She was filled with emotions and feelings that were so foreign to her. "You'll be with me?" she asked quietly. "You won't make me do it alone?"
Angel shook his head, "No you won't be alone, and you have me Cordy. You'll always have me" he placed a quick kiss on her forehead gently and pulled them both onto their feet. "Come on, I have a better place for us to get some rest than this room" he told her, not once loosening his hold on Cordelia as he kept her at his side.
She held onto him tightly as he led her out the door. The hotel seemed so quiet. She could sense everyone downstairs, but no one seemed to be talking. "They're angry, aren't they? They must hate me for the things that I've done."
Angel chose his words carefully, not wanting to upset her any more than she already was. "They don't hate you Cordy, they could never hate you. But they are frightened, just like you they'll need time to adjust. But I'll take care of you" he reassured her again as they approached the hallway leading to Angel's room and the stairs to the lobby.
She looked at the stairs cautiously. She wasn't ready to face any of them yet, and she hoped that Angel wasn't going to make her so soon. She felt the tears come to her eyes when she heard Fred's faint laugh drifting up the stairway and she turned her back. "I-I need to lay down," she told him, her body shaking visibly.
Angel held her tighter against him; if she had been human she might have complained. "Whatever you need, how much time you need take it Cordy. I'm not going anywhere" he gave her a rueful smile. "We've, uh, got plenty of time"
She let him lead her into his room and he laid her gently on the bed. Cordy felt him lay beside her and rolled so she was snuggled against him tightly. She felt safe when he was holding her and that's what she needed. She needed to feel safe and loved. She wrapped her arm around his chest and pulled herself as close to him as she possibly could.
***
Wesley was pacing back and forth while continuously rubbing his lower jaw, his mind totally on Cordelia and Angel. "English you're makin me nervous" Gunn complained, as he scratched his bald head for the millionth time.
Buffy looked at Willow finally. "I want you to take out the happiness clause for Angel," she told the redhead determinedly.
Gunn, Wesley, Fred and Xander all looked expectantly at the suddenly exposed witch. "I-I don't know if I can do that Buffy" Willow said in a quiet, apologetic tone. "The spell was very specific, I'll have to really look into it"
"Please," she answered her friend with a smile.
Keeping her opinions to herself about certain relationships that were a little obvious, Willow smiled back. "I'll look into Buffy and keep you posted, she told her friend before looking to Wesley. "Do you have any books that have info on the Gypsy curse used on Angel?"
"Of course," Wesley nodded and led Willow into his office.
Buffy nodded contently and looked at the rest of the group and their shocked stares. "What?"
Willow noticed Fred's slightly hostile expression and decided to say something before the other launched into a tirade or something. "Buffy, it's been almost four years since you and Angel have seen each other. Not counting when he came to visit you after, you know"
Buffy looked at her with a confused expression. "So?"
"You saw how Angel was with Cordy, Buff" Xander interrupted bluntly. "I saw it and I'm the guy who filled Denial"
She looked at all of them with disbelief. "You can't possibly think that he and Cordy...no! Angel and I are meant to be together! Everyone knows that!"
"Buffy, think about it" Willow said gently sharing a worried look with Xander. "It's been a long time, how can you be sure that Angel still feels the same?"
"Because...he has too! We're destined to be together and this is our chance." She turned away from her friends, not wanting to face what could possibly be true. "Just look Willow, please?"
"I've already said I'll look Buffy that's not the problem" Willow responded. "You need to face up to the fact that Angel's changed. If there is a way to stop Angelus getting free ever again, then I will do the spell, even if he doesn't...feel that way towards you anymore" she explained.
"Willow!" she snapped and then sighed apologetically. "I don't want to get into it right now, okay?"
Willow sighed a defeated sigh as she got up from the couch. "Okay, but remember he has a life too you know" she walked into Wesley's office to look over the Gypsy curse.
***
Cordy released an un-needed breath as she felt Angel's arms wrap around her tightly. He felt like a blanket, keeping her safe and warm from the cold harshness that her life had become. She didn't want to leave that spot or his arms for anything. "It gets better, doesn't it?" she asked him, her fingers playing with the wrinkles in his shirt absentmindedly.
Angel ran his fingertips up and down her back, tickling her skin under her shirt soothingly. He nodded, "It gets easier to deal with but it never goes away" he replied honestly. "There was a time when I would think about everything I've don and just sit in the dark, away from everyone and everything. Now when I think about what I've done, I know that I'm working as hard as I can to give back some of the life I've taken. Believe me, what you did was nothing compared to what I did"
She nodded and squirmed from his tickling. "I just...never mind. I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to be here with you. You do realize that you're stuck with me now, right?" she asked him, a hint of her old grin on her face.
Angel quirked a small grin back at her when he saw her smile, not her usual blinding smile that rocked him, but at least it wasn't that smirk she had. "I've missed that, he whispered as he traced her lower, raised lip following it until he reached a corner of her upturned mouth.
"I'd say that I missed me, but I don't remember if I did, so I'll just smile and nod if that's okay with you," she laughed quietly and kissed his finger.
Angel tilted his head a little lower and nudged her nose with his. "That's just fine with me" he ran his hand softly down the curve of her side, letting it rest on her hip where his fingers drew lazy circles.
"Angel...what are you doing?" she whispered, his fingers causing sensations to stir in her that had never felt so strong. Her fingers slid up his chest and to his neck without her thinking about it.
Angel smiled softly at the way Cordelia had been instantly drawn to his neck. He wondered if she even knew she had done it, probably not he gathered. "Taking care of you Cordy, I promised I would take care of you"
"And how do you plan on doing that?" Her fingers ran over his neck tenderly.
The obsession Cordelia had with his neck was causing Angel to lose his ability to speak, much less form coherent thought. "Loving you, I love you Cordelia Chase," he told her honestly as he locked gazes with her.
"You...you love me?" Her voice quivered as she asked the question.
Angel swallowed, knowing that she didn't feel that way about him. "I don't want to pretend anymore Cordy. That day when I felt your heart slow in your apartment, I thought that was it, you were going to leave me for sure. That-that's why I couldn't, wouldn't, let you go. I'm so sorry for being selfish"
"You saved me Angel. Well, you damned me to save me, but you know, it's all relative," she rambled nervously and then looked at his confused expression. "Duh Angel. I love you too!"
Angel held the hope down just in case he was hearing things. Surely she hadn't just said she loved him, after everything he had done to her, Cordelia wouldn't say that. "Not the way I want you to though, right?" he asked thickly.
"Angel, I would have done anything for you that was humanly possible, and I would still do anything for you. I just have more that I'm capable of doing for you. I would do anything for you because I love you. I love you Angel. I really do. I love you because you're my sire and I love you because you're the most wonderful, heroic and kind person I know, even if you are a bit of a dumbass sometimes. And if you don't make me stop rambling, I'm never going to stop."
Angel didn't say a word; he just looked at her as if he was expecting to wake up any minute now. "I love you Cordy, don't believe any different"
"Angel, I know you love me. If you didn't, you would have staked me for the horrible things that I must have done, and don't give me any crap about sire-childe bonding. You would have staked me in a non-existent heartbeat."
Angel nodded the truth of her statement, "Just like I know you wouldn't stake me if I ever turn evil. Again. Even though you promised you would but I understand know because of why I couldn't kill you"
She smiled. "I guess that's one promise that I never would have been able to keep. I love you Angel, and I could never imagine my...unlife without you, good or evil, either of us." She resumed her absentminded caressing of his neck as she spoke.
He caressed her hand with his larger one, gripping tightly before bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. "I love you but next time you go evil, I'll ground you"
She smiled mischievously. "I remember waiting for you to ground me, but you never did," she pouted.
"Cordy?"
"What?"
"You're grounded"
"And you're gonna enforce that how?" Her eyes were shining with humour.
Angel easily pinned her beneath him, using a lot more force than what he would have done if she had been human. "Oooh, I'm scared," she mocked him, yet she loved the feel of him against her.
"You should be, I am a legend Cordy" Angel bragged as he gripped her wrists harder.
"Mmmm, and you're my sire," she bragged back, smiling up at him.
Angel smirked down at her, "Don't you forget that. From now on, it's Master or Big Daddy" he pressed more of his weight down onto her body, causing her to shift a little.
Cordy couldn't help but laugh a little. "If you think I'm calling you that, someone musta slipped something in your blood." She squirmed a little under his weight.
"I am your sire, therefore you will do as I say" Angel stopped her from squirming and exerted a little more pressure on her. "I thought you were a vampire Cordy, I must say a rather...pitiful excuse for one" he prayed his balls weren't anywhere near either one of her knees.
She looked at him with one perfect eyebrow raised. She caught him off guard by leaning up and kissing him before ripping her wrists from his grip. She quickly, while using the element of surprise, flipped him on his back, leaned down and let her lips touch his neck. "Pitiful excuse huh? Looks like I coulda done the job to me."
When her lips touched his neck, all he could think about was how long it had been since a childe of his had drank from him. He wanted Cordelia to feel him inside her, feel what sire blood tasted like and the rush it gave but he wasn't sure how she would react.
She began to tease his neck with her lips and her blunt teeth. Her emotions and attraction to him was overwhelming her. She raised her head and touched her lips to his. Everything felt so different to her and she was scared. She felt like an unexperienced young woman all over again.
"Don't be scared Cordy, this is me there's nothing you have to be scared of" Angel soothed her in a hushed voice. He rolled them onto their sides so they were facing each other. He leaned towards her and touched her lips with his, "You are so beautiful Cordy, you'll always be beautiful"
Cordy trembled a little as his lips touched hers and she let out a nervous giggle. "You'd think I'd never been in an intimate situation before," she joked, trying to hide her jumping nerves.
Angel smiled knowingly at her, "Everything feels different, doesn't it? Your sensitivity to touch has increased" he trailed a finger up her arm, to her shoulder and came to rest on her still pulse.
"Yeah," she whispered, the rush of feeling his hand on her neck causing her to squirm a little.
The knowing smile got wider and turned into more of a cocky smirk. He leaned forward and placed his lips where his finger was, gently sucking her neck. Angel gripped her body to stop her from squirming away from him. "My childe, my girl Cordy" he told her as he pulled his lips away.
She growled lightly at his removal of his lips. "Why'd you stop?" she pouted and then smiled at him. "My sire, my guy Angel," she repeated with her own changes.
"Only the sire gets to say stuff like that Cordelia, looks like I'll have to teach you some respect for me" Angel growled huskily. He lightly bit her neck causing her to moan and tilt her neck more towards his mouth.
"Yes," she moaned. "In need of teaching. Much better than a correspondence course." She wrapped her arms around him, trying to pull him closer to her still.
Angel rolled his eyes at her obvious display of need even though it mirrored his own need. He wanted her to bite him, wanted to share something sacred with her but he was afraid she would be a little weird with only just getting her soul back. Angel gave the waters a little test by biting her lightly with blunt teeth to see how she would react and what she would say.
Cordy gasped at his bite and dug her nails into his back. She wanted more and she needed more. "Angel, please..."
Angel slipped into his vampire visage and gently eased his fangs into her neck, sucking gently. Cordelia stifled a scream as she vamped out and bit him back, clutching Angel to her, as she tasted sire blood for the first time since her becoming. It was amazing, she could feel everything within Angel, it was like she tasted all his secrets, all his desires, fears and dreams.
She couldn't get enough. She felt him start to pull away from her and she struggled to pull him back. She continued to drink from him; her body feeling like it was of fire as his blood coursed through her.
Hunger for Cordelia engulfed Angel; he reached her shirt and easily tore it from her writhing body as he slipped his fangs from her neck and pushing her away. "More later, now you get to learn some respect for me" he whispered before kissing her with a lot more than a burning passion. The taste of his blood strongly present on her lips and tongue drove him nuts as he launched an all out assault on her mouth.
Her hands flew down his body, trying to grip the bottom of his shirt. She wanted to feel him against her. She wanted to feel his cool skin against her own and she didn't want to wait. She returned his kiss with her own passion and need as she struggled with his clothing frantically.
Angel removed his hand from her breast as he continued his desperate kissing in between murmuring words of approval and orders. His hand more than once brushed Cordelia's as he helped her remove his own shirt, moaning loudly against her mouth when the swell of her breasts hit his chest. Next came the pants she was wearing, easily removed as she scrambled out of them. Not once loosing his mouth or his strokes and touches.
Her fingers quickly unhooked his belt as she finally figured out how to work them again. She pulled on the still leather sharply, pulling it from his pants before unbuttoning and unzipping them quickly. Her impatience with the material separating her from him was beginning to frustrate her. "Angel," she pleaded into his mouth as she tried to pull them off his hips but had reached her arms length.
Angel grunted his acknowledgement of her problem and took his own wandering hand to shove his pants over his hips and halfway down his thighs before managing to kick them off. He yanked Cordelia's half-naked body so she was totally trapped against his, "Cordelia can't wait, need now"
She knew that she wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise even if she had wanted to. But she didn't want to; she wanted him and needed him as badly. She ran her fingernails down his back and kissed him in response to his demand.
His boxers came off very quickly as Cordelia pushed them down, making them follow the same movements as his pants. Angel took over and wriggled out of them, kicking the silk material haphazardly around on the bed. He snapped the elastic on her pants and threw them over his shoulder. Angel took a small paused and looked at Cordelia, wanting to know if this was what she wanted.
She smiled up at him and pulled him back to her. She didn't like not feeling him take charge, but she knew that he was trying not to scare her too much, which she appreciated. "I love you," she whispered against his lips and pulled his hips roughly against hers, showing him exactly what she wanted.
Angel entered her a little harshly; he would make it up to her later with slow and gentle. Now wasn't the time for that now was the time to deal with insane lust and unadulterated want. He rocked into her, his unneeded breath coming in hard pants with each responding move Cordelia made. Her own unneeded breathing hitching and tiny, quiet mewls coming from the back of her throat. Her nails scraped Angel's back; he dropped his head into the crook of her shoulder, biting lightly.
Cordy mimicked his movements, her body surging with new sensations as she held to him tightly. She had never felt anything so raw and feral as his movements within her and it drove her wild. She dug her nails into his back, drawing small beads of blood as she threw her head back with a growl.
Angel squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to last a little longer, but it was nearly impossible. He moved one hand to touch her sensitised nerves, wanting Cordelia to be with him when he lost control. He moved harder and deeper inside her, wrapping his free arm around her back and pulling her up against his chest. Cordelia tightened her legs around his waist as she screamed his name and urged him to move harder.
She gripped the sheets of his bed with one hand, twisting them in her fingers and scratched her way up his back until she reached his neck. Her fingers kneaded the flesh as she threw her head back one last time, her own wild, feral, primitive growl escaping from her loudly as she peaked. She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled at the sheets, ripping them easily as her body began to heave unnecessarily.
Angel felt her tighten around him and couldn't hold back anymore. He bit her again, much harder this time, his growls vibrating along his body. Cordelia instantly reacted and bit him right back. Angel slowed down his movement until he lay completely still on top of Cordelia. Their silence was interrupted when Angel rolled off her as a shooting pain wrenched his chest and stomach. "Cordy" he pleaded with her to help him as he looked at her with pain-filled eyes as he curled up into a tight ball.
"Angel?" she whispered as she scrambled across the bed to him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and made him look at her. "Angel? What's wrong?"
"Soul" was all Angel could reply before his world went blank.
Her body began to shake and she scooted across the bed, watching him warily. She didn't want to leave him. The thought broke her heart, but at the same time, she was scared. "Angel? Can you hear me?" she called to him. When he didn't move she crawled slowly towards him. "Angel?"
Angel's body began to shake and a sadistic laughter came tumbling out of the vampire as Angelus looked up at her. "Hi pumpkin, Daddy's home"
Part 12: Shattered Soul
She froze at the sound of his laughter and shook her head. "No...no no no!" She moved away from him as quickly as her new speed would allow her. She watched him cautiously as her back hit the headboard. "Angelus?"
Angelus got off the bed and stretched, "Not pleased to see me baby?" he asked oh so innocently.
Her eyes followed his every movement as she carefully grabbed the torn sheet. She jumped off the opposite side of the bed, wrapped the sheet around herself and ran for the door, all in one motion. She screamed as his arm grabbed her around the waist and she began to kick at him angrily.
"Don't be like that baby" Angelus told her in a teasing voice. "Why don't we have a nice father-daughter chat hmm? Get to each other properly and maybe we can discuss torture methods" he laughed in her ear. "That head you sent me was so sick Cordy, it was a sheer work of art. Made me proud"
Angelus frowned then realised she didn't totally remember what happened. He would take great pleasure in telling her. "You'll remember soon enough but I have to tell you Cordy. You even impressed me with the things you've done, getting it on with Lilah? I certainly didn't expect you to do that. The head made a nice gift, although it would have better if it was the real thing of course"
"I don't know what you're talking about," she told him honestly but icily. She struggled in his grip, but even with her vampire strength, she was no match for her sire. "And I don't want to know," she added, turning so she could glare at him.
Angelus chuckled at her glare, "I loved watching you show that bitch who was boss, sickened my soul but now that's not a problem" his eyes lit up. "Hey, we can Lesbo Lucy downstairs to take yours away. How does that sound?"
"How about we just have her give you yours back?" she answered coldly.
"Let me think about that for a second" Angelus pretended to think. "No, I'm happy just the way I am, just one minor detail for me to work on"
"And what would that be?" she asked flatly, not sure if she wanted to know the answer or not. She tried to squirm out of his grip but failed miserably.
"Your soul gone" Angelus grinned nastily at her as he gripped her so tightly, it was boredering on painful. "Not that you don't have potential with a soul, that body does have it's good points. But we could have so much more fun together without it. We'd make a killer team"
"I don't want to make a killer team with you," she spat at him. "The only team I want to make is with Angel. The soul is kinda a necessity." She winced at his grip and finally gave up her struggle completely.
"Whatever happened to your 'I love you Angel, good or bad' speech? Come on Cordy, you make a wicked vampire, just think of all we could do together. Kill those do-gooders downstairs for starters"
"No! No, I won't let you kill them! I've done enough to them as it is...and as far as my speech...I was being truthful, but that doesn't mean I want to team up with you!"
Angelus thought for a second before tossing her onto the bed and diving on top of her. "If I want to kill then you certainly aren't going to stop me. But you are right about you doing enough to them" he laughed in her ear. "Poor, sweet Fred she's so scared of you now, she wouldn't come out of her room until you were locked up. Gunn wants to kill you for drinking from his girl. Tell me Cordeeleeahh, does she taste like tacos?"
Her body shuddered at the memory, in pain and pleasure. She tried to push him off of her and pulled her head away from his. "Go to hell," she fumed at him.
"Just think of all that warm, sticky human blood" his voice was low and husky in her ear. "All that life downstairs, and Slayer blood? Let me tell ya, that stuff is like the finest champagne. You can taste the power as it slides down your throat, you can feel it absorbing into you as the rich taste mixes with your desires"
"Stop!" her voice was beginning to sound more like a plea than a demand. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get rid of the image of herself and Angelus draining each of them. The demon in her stirred restlessly. "Just stop!"
Angelus continued to push her, "You can taste it from here can't you? That's why you didn't want to go downstairs to face them isn't it?" he laughed merrily at his insight. He could always take the easy route and have her drink from him again as he drank from her. That thought in mind, Angelus suddenly vamped out and bit her, not the way he had done with his soul. This bite was deeper, harsher and a lot more painful for Cordelia who screamed in pain and pleasure as her demon thrashed wildly behind the cage it was now locked up in. Angelus pushed her head towards his neck, "Drink" he demanded.
She fought his grip and the urge, but it was useless. She couldn't control the instinct and she followed suit, biting him viciously. She drank deeply and she cursed herself for being so weak, but she wasn't the one calling the shots; she didn't stand a chance against her sire.
Angelus thrived on feeling her drink from him as he drank from her. It was ecstatic having her do this to him, then he felt her bite him deeper and he retaliated by swiftly entering her.
"Angel? Cordelia? Is everything alright? We heard screaming..." Wesley stood in shock for a minute before picking up a lamp and hitting Angelus over the head with it. Cordelia screamed as the shards of glass rained down over her.
Angelus snapped his head towards Wesley, rage very apparant on his face. He got up from the bed and away from Cordelia who quickly covered her naked body with a sheet. "Long time no see" Angelus commented as he brushed his hair of the glass. "Nice move with the lamp but next time you might wanna try something a little heavier" he went to attack Wesley but was stopped by Cordelia slamming something over the back of his head, rendering him unconscious.
She stood above her unconscious sire and looked at Wesley, the shame and fear evident in her eyes. "I..." she didn't know what to say.
Wesley forced himself to keep all judgement out of his voice. He also looked at the knocked out vampire on the floor and sighed. "Willow will be too weak to perform the soul spell so soon. We need to get him chained up, can you help me?" he asked as he looked at her directly. "We will talk later Cordy, clear the air"
She nodded her head slightly. "I...I should get dressed." She pulled on a sweater of Angel's and a pair of sweats before helping Wesley chain Angelus up. Her fingers trembled against the metal as she pulled it tight. When he was bound sufficiently, she kissed him lightly. "I'm so sorry."
"Come on Cordy, it would be best if we went downstairs for now. I don't either one of us in the same room as Angelus when he wakes up" Wesley didn't need to say that he didn't want Cordelia being goaded into ignoring her soul and going on another killing spree. "I'll go down first, warn the others that you're coming down"
She nodded again and wrapped her arms tightly around herself as he left the room. She looked at Angelus, her guilt written all over her face. There was the guilt for releasing him, and there was the guilt for chaining him up like a wild animal. Everything inside of her told her what she had done to her sire was so very wrong. She turned away from him and left the room. Cordy waited at the top of the stairs until she heard Wesley give her the okay to come down.
Fred shrunk back next to Gunn and he wrapped his arm around her protectively when he saw Cordelia. He couldn't help the slight bit of disgust at the thought that she was now a vampire, the one thing he loathed with a burning passion. Wesley carefully eyed both Gunn and Cordelia but it was Willow who broke the very uncomfortable silence. "I-was everything okay? We heard screaming"
"I...um...uh..." she looked at Wesley and could see that he couldn't help her. He didn't know exactly what was going on either. "We have a slight, itty bitty, little problem..." she told them sheepishly.
Gunn's eyes immediately darkened as if he read her mind. "English, tell me she ain't tryin to say what I think she's tryin to say" he demanded hotly as his eyes flew to the stairs.
"That's quite alright Willow. Angelus is sufficiently chained up, so you take whatever time you need," Wesley told her softly and watched as Cordy made her way to the stairs. She sat on the bottom step with her knees pulled to her chest and refused to look at any of them.
Buffy sat there, even though she had heard the words they didn't sink in. Angel, Cordelia, soulless and the end product, Angelus. She looked at Cordelia sitting on the bottom step and didn't feel any sympathy for her at all. "You had sex with him?" she asked in a low monotone.
Cordy chanced a glance at the blonde and the image of the head in the box that Angelus had raved about earlier came rushing back. She shut her eyes again and turned away from Buffy. "Yes," she answered simply.
"You of all people should know what happens when Angel gets happy" Buffy hissed harshly. "But then again, you're not a person anymore are you? It was just comfort sex because he felt guilty for turning you"
Cordelia turned her head, her eyes narrowing at Buffy. "You keep your little mouth shut. You don't have the slightest clue what happened," she warned in a low voice.
"I do have a clue what happened" Buffy contradicted with a snap. "You got Angel to feel so guilty that he ended up having sex with you. You can't tell me any different, I know Angel and I know he would never do anything like that with you"
Cordy stood up and looked at Buffy with hard, angry eyes. "He didn't have sex with me because he was guilty. He had sex with me because he loves me. Me. And you don't know anything about Angel. You didn't suffer with the visions for him. You weren't there for him when he was hurt. You weren't there for him when he was in pain. It wasn't you that he said he loved up there in that room." Her eyes flashed with anger.
"Will you two please give it a rest?" Wesley yelled angrily. "We have more important matters to discuss other than your childish arguments about who bloody loves who. Buffy, if you want to know who the damned vampire loves, by all means go upstairs and ask him. Cordelia, I don't need you antagonising Buffy, we don't the stress"
Cordy looked at Wesley with a shocked expression. "I am in no way antagonizing her! She started it!" She gave Buffy one last glare before looking at Wesley again. "What do we have to discuss. I believe little-miss-slay-happy has already covered everyone's disgust with me, what I am, and what I've done. Are we done here?"
Fred looked at Cordelia, then Buffy and back to Cordelia as she listened to everything said. Yes, she was scared and hurt by what had happened between them, yes she would need time to adjust. But Cordelia was still her friend and she needed her friends and Fred hated to see the agony on her face. "I'm not disgusted by you," she piped up from behind Gunn.
Cordelia looked up at Fred and her sorrow flashed in her eyes at the sight of the small girl and the bandage on her neck. "You don't have to pretend for me Fred."
Fred scooted out from behind Gunn, ignoring his look and the others surprise. She shook her head, "You always like honesty and I'm gonna be honest. I am hurt and scared of you Cordy, but you have a soul like Angel does or did or will have. But I'm not disgusted by you Cordy, you're my friend"
She smiled sadly at Fred. "Thank you Fred. I'm glad that someone can be honest with me. I'm sorry for what I did," she turned and looked around at the group, "to all of you, but I won't be sorry for loving Angel and I won't be sorry for what we shared. I'm sorry for what happened as a result."
Cordy didn't wait for any reactions. She turned her back from them again and reclaimed her place on the stairs. She felt suddenly out of place and unwanted. She turned her head so she could look up the stairs, praying for Angel to help her. She needed him now, she couldn't do this on her own.
Buffy threw up her hands in exasperation, "I'm sorry, I won't believe it until I hear Angel tell me he doesn't love me. Not you and not Angelus. Angel"
"Then don't believe it Buffy. I really don't care anymore." She stood and walked back up the stairs against Wesley's request. She opened the door to Angel's room and looked at Angelus, still lying on the bed where she had helped chain him up. She hesitated before walking into the bathroom and running the shower. She suddenly felt unclean, and after a long, hot, vigorous shower, she re-emerged into the room in the fluffy robe that Angel had always kept in there for her in preparation for the nights when she was too tired to go home. She looked sadly at Angelus, suddenly needing that sense of security and safety that only her sire could give her and she crawled onto the bed beside him. She curled up against him, ignoring the cold, hard metal chains as she rested her head on his chest.
Angelus forced his eyes open when he felt a figure curl up next to him on the bed, instantly knowing it was Cordelia. What the hell was she doing? She was curled up tightly next to him, her head resting on his chest. He nudged her as much as he could, "Changed your mind I see. Take these" gesturing to the chains. "Off and we can go play" he whispered.
"I can't," she answered, her whisper low and almost inaudible. Her hand slid around him and clutched his chest tightly. "You know I can't."
Of course you can, you know I wouldn't let anyone hurt you for doing it Cordy, you're my childe" he soothed, trying to get her to loosen the chains.
"I'm sorry." She closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. She felt an odd sense of peace when she was with him.
Stop doing that" Angelus growled in annoyance as she curled around him more and more. What the hell did she think she was doing? "Come on Cordy, untie me, we can have so much fun together, whaddya say?"
"I'm too tired. And I'm comfortable," she told him quietly with her eyes still closed.
Angelus struggled hopelessly against the chains binding him to his bed while Cordelia lay lifelessly next to him. The chains rattled her awake as he growled in frustration and rage, "Cordy, how can you just let me be tied down like this? You know I wouldn't hurt my childe, come on wake up and untie me"
She looked up at him with pain in her eyes. "I can't untie you. It kills me to see you like this, but I can't. You'll hurt them, and I won't let you do that." She thought for a minute, got up off the bed, and walked to the door.
Angelus watched her through narrowed eyes, "You're not gonna leave me all alone are you?" he asked, "Cordy, I don't want to be alone" he told her with a fake, fearful voice. His tone was shaky and he looked like a lost little boy, "Please don't leave me like this"
She turned to him with a pained look before she closed the door. She walked down the stairs, trying to ignore his yelling, and pulled Wesley aside. "Wes, you need to do something for me."
Wesley looked at Cordelia's tired face, her eyes showing pain, hope and something else he didn't want to see. "What is it? Do you need one of us to tranquillise Angelus?" he asked as he forced himself not to cover his neck where she was looking.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I need you to lock us in there. Do whatever you can to keep that door from opening."
"I'm sorry, did you just ask me to lock you up in with Angelus?" he heard the question perfectly but surely she couldn't have asked that.
"No, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. When I go back in there, you need to lock that door."
"Are you stupid?" the yelled question came from Wesley, Gunn, Xander and Buffy as they listened to Cordelia repeat her question. "I will not allow you to be locked up with that maniac Cordelia" Wesley told her with an angry frown. "No way am I allowing that to happen"
She looked at Wesley with a mixture of anger and pain. "Wesley, this isn't your choice. I can't do this, okay? I can't pretend he's not up there, chained up like that! I can't bear to see him like that! He's my sire! You don't know how wrong it was of me to help you do that, but I did, for all of you. Now, if you want to stay alive and kicking, I suggest you lock that door. When I go back up there, I'm unchaining him."
Buffy and Gunn blocked the staircase simultaneously, with Gunn shaking his head. "No way Cordelia, I ain't lettin you do that gir-vampgirl" he corrected. "The evil dude is stayin chained an I mean it"
I'm sorry Gunn," she apologized as she easily threw him aside. "I don't want any of you to get hurt, but none of you can understand." She looked at Buffy in warning to move out of her way.
"You wanna try me?" Buffy asked, like she was intimidated by Cordelia. She straightened her posture, "Don't forget you're a vampire and I can kick your ass now"
"Buffy, i don't want this. I don't want to fight you, but if I have to, I will. Tell me this, if it was your father, so to speak, chained up upstairs, would you be able to stand it? Would you be able to leave him there, alone, unable to move?"
"That's different" Buffy growled back, not backing down. "He isn't your father Cordelia, he is a soulless, evil thing. If he gets loose who do you think he'll go after? Me, that's who and I am not letting you put my friends and innocent people at risk because you feel sorry for him"
"Why do you think I told Wes to lock us in there? Because I don't want anyone to be hurt, but I can't leave him in there like that. And he is my father in a manner of speaking. He's my sire. I don't expect you to understand the bond Buffy, but I expect you to keep the people you care for safe, from both of us." She turned toward Wesley and swallowed hard. "I have a soul, yes, but I don't know how long I can do this. I...every time I see any of you, all I can think of is...Please Wesley, do this for me? I need you to do this as much for me, to keep you all safe from me."
Wesley simply shook his head, "I'm sorry Cordelia but I can't let you be susceptible to his persuasive mannerisms. How long do you think it would be before he got you to ignore your soul?"
"Wesley, don't you understand?! I don't need his persuasion! The taste of human blood is still so fresh in my memory!" She grabbed the ex-Watcher and vamped. "You need to do this Wesley or I'm afraid of what I might do." Her plea was tinged with desire for the abundance of human blood that surrounded her. It still burned within her veins and ached within her soul.
Gunn and Buffy once again went into defensive mode although he was a little more cautious this time. All the people watched with held breath and wide eyes, all waiting to see if Cordelia would give in to her obvious extreme bloodlust. Wesley shook a little as he tried unsuccesfully to dislodge her increasingly tightening grip on his him. "C-Cordelia calm down, you will feel better once you have some pig's blood..."
"I don't want pig's blood Wesley," she purred, the smell of his fear and blood intoxicating her. "I want to see what the Watcher tastes like." She began to move her lips toward his neck and then she pushed him away, shaking with want and fear. "Wesley..."
Wesley gulped and shrank away from her, holding a hand to his throat protectively. "How can you expect me to allow a vampire like Angelus free? Have him free to do as he pleases in this hotel, locked up or not?"
"It's either keep him chained up and have me free, or have us both locked in that room. Make the choice Wes, and make it fast." Her body ached from the denial of that sweet, sticky human blood. The demon in her thrashed in anger at being teased in such a way and she didn't know how long she could keep it contained.
"Or we could just chain you up" Gunn told her coldly as he moved closer to Fred, keeping his eyes on Cordelia the whole time.
She looked at Gunn, once again in her human form. "I'm sorry Gunn, really I am. I just don't want to do anything else to hurt you. I can't let you chain me up. I...I wouldn't be able to handle it. I know you despise what I am Gunn, but part of me is still Cordy. If you ever cared for me, please, let me do what I need to do," she pleaded genuinely, hoping she'd get through to one of them.
"You people can't be seriously thinking about letting her do this?" Buffy yelled, as she looked to a silent Xander and a now sleeping Willow. "This is insane, she lets him out and either he kills us all or I'm forced to kill both of them"
Cordy's frustration was getting the better of her. "If you don't let me do this, you're going to have to kill me anyways!! I'm telling you now, that if you leave him chained up in there, yeah, he can't hurt you, but it's driving me crazy!! I can't let him stay like that. Lock us in there, do a spell that prevents us from leaving the room, I don't care! Just get out of my way!"
Buffy shook her head, "No, you want me out of your way then you'll have to make me move out of your way" her arms dropped to her side and head tilted to one side. Cordelia had stolen Angel from her, she had played on his guilt and gotten him to sleep with her. Buffy had a lot of issues with the vampire standing in front of her.
"Can you for once not be a spoiled little brat?! I didn't steal Angel from you, he moved on!" she growled angrily at the Slayer, as if reading her mind. "He isn't in love with you anymore. Grow up. Move on. Get over yourself."
Buffy went to stand face-to-face with the brunette vampiress. "I've killed badder vampires than you Cordelia. The only reason why I haven't staked you so far is because we have a history together but don't push me"
"I'm not pushing you Buffy. I'm giving you a little dose of reality. Angel isn't yours anymore. He is up there, chained to a bed and pissed as hell. I'm going up there and I'm going to unchain him because I need to. I don't care how evil he is at the moment, it's wrong for me to allow him to be chained up and I won't let you stop me."
"Buffy, Cordelia" Wesley's yell once again stopped the fight brewing between the two rivals. He walked over to them and stood at Buffy's side rather than Cordelia's out of safety's sake. "Cordelia, do you know what you're asking of us?" he pleaded worriedly.
"I know exactly what I'm asking of you Wesley, but you have to understand. I know you've read all those musty Council books on vampires and sire/childe bonds. I know you understand that I can't let him stay like this." Her voice was soft as were her eyes as she looked away from Buffy and toward him.
Despite the harsh situation of a bloodlusting vampire with a soul and a raging soulless vampire, Wesley had to admit to his curiosity. "Answer some of my questions first" he looked to Buffy. "Can you give us a minute, I'm trusting Cordelia not to hurt me. We are family after all"
Cordelia nodded and looked at Wesley. "Ask away," she said with a small smile.
"It's...it's hard to explain. When I'm with him, there's a sense of peace and security that I've never felt before, even if he's now Angelus. I feel safe with him. He has a control over me that I can't explain, but I don't really mind it. Ironic coming from me, huh?" she joked quietly, trying to put him at ease a little. She didn't like the fact that he was so scared of her, but she gave him every reason to be and her dead heart ached because of it.
Wesley thought of another solution, "If I were to release Angelus..."
"Wes, you're listening to her?" Buffy barked in shock.
"And perform a lock spell to prevent him from leaving the room and not have you in there with him. Would that be okay?" Wesley asked as he ignored Buffy's outburst.
Cordy shook her head. "I need to be in there with him. If you're going to lock one of us up, you need to lock both of us up. It's a deeply imbedded instinct. I can't be...I'm alone without him Wesley, and I don't want to be alone."
"Forgive me Cordy, but what you're asking is..." Wesley exasperated. He blew out his breath in a long sigh and looked at her. Her dark eyes pleading with him and he could see that she was desperately clinging to what control she had left. He could almost hear her mental begging, "Don't let me kill again. Don't let me kill again." "Alright"
She nodded sadly. "Thank you Wesley." She stood and walked toward the stairs, knowing he was close behind her. She could feel Buffy's glare on her back, but she didn't care. She stopped before opening the door and turned to the Watcher. "Lock it. Cast a spell, like I said, I don't care. But don't open this door until Willow's had time to do the soul spell, okay?"
"Very well, what if he should try and kill you?" Wesley asked as he watched her hand on the handle of the door.
"Don't open it Wesley, promise me." She didn't want to think of the possibility of him trying to kill her. She knew what he had said, but he was angry with her. "Promise me Wes."
"You have my word"
She hugged him quickly and opened the door. She closed it behind her softly and looked at the bed, her eyes locking with his. She waited until she heard a soft thud as Wesley wedged something underneath the doorknob before walking towards Angelus.
Part 13: Fighting the Truth
Angelus was lying quietly, tied down with chains to his bed when the door opened and Cordelia stepped through. His eyes tracked her movements as she padded across the floor towards him.
Cordy silently went to work releasing him from the chains that bound him, refusing to make eye contact with him. As the loose end clattered to the floor, she backed away cautiously and turned toward the window, waiting for the inevitable explosion of anger.
To say he wasn't caught by surprise was an understatement. The last thing he expected would be for Cordelia to loosen his chains. Slowly and cautiously Angelus rose from the bed, stretched languidly like a cat. A vicious smirk crossed his face as he eyed the door. "Why?" he asked.
"You know why," she whispered not taking her eyes from the window. "And don't get your hopes up. We can't get out."
Angelus gave her a disbelieving look as he strode confidently over to the door and twisted the handle. The door didn't budge as he tried to yank it open, getting more and more frustrated. Growling, he spun to face Cordelia, "You locked me in here" he accused.
"I locked US in here," she corrected and smiled bitterly when she saw the soft light flash outside. She knew that Wesley had managed to find a spell to keep them from escaping. Just to be certain, she tried to open the window and found it wouldn't budge.
Angelus took in the situation and began to laugh. He stopped before looking at Cordelia then he started laughing again. Placing his hands on his bent knees, the vampire's shoulders shook up and down. "You locked yourself in here with me?"
"Yes."
Angelus was doubled over with laughter making Cordelia look at him as if he had finally lost the plot and gone completely crazy. "You're either incredibly stupid or insane" he got control of himself and sauntered over to her. Whispering in a deep, throaty purr "Do you think I won't hurt you? Do think you're, what, safe with me?"
She moved her head away from him and turned back to the window. "I feel safe with you, but I know I'm not. But if I'm here with you, they're safe...from both of us." She closed her eyes at the vivid thought of threatening Wes the way she had, the smell of his blood pulsing beneath his skin and the smell of his fear mixing with it so beautifully.
"Blood" Angelus remarked casually, his seductive purr gone and replaced by a nonchalant tone. "The soul doesn't make a difference does it? The need, the craving, the hunger is always there. The drive to feel, the desperation to taste all that mortal blood. Laced with intoxicating emotions, passion, fear, dreams, wants and human desires so different to our own. You don't even have to stand close to them to see that life force throbbing under their delicate flesh that gives no protection. You can sense that humans know what you want to take from them. The knowledge that they would fight until their last intake of sweet breath makes taking it all the sweeter" he turned back to face her. "Is that what you feel?"
"Yes," she answered simply, locking her gaze with his. "I feel so horrible for wanting it, but I feel even more horrible for wanting this soul gone." She looked away from him and at the door. "I couldn't leave you up here alone, chained up like a wild animal. So I made a deal, and here I am."
"If you hadn't made the deal, that soul stuffed in you would be gone by now" Angelus pointed out.
"You're the reason I have this soul!" she turned to him, her rage boiling dangerously close to the surface. "If you weren't so evil and brutal and ruthless, I never would have been. If you had never been a vampire, I never would have been! So don't try and make this out to be my fault! I didn't ask to be what I am, and I didn't ask for a soul! You're souled self did that all on his own!"
A hard slap to Cordelia's face cut her off, "That is no way to speak to your father Cordelia" Angelus snapped in response to the truth of her words. Truth hurts. "Didn't anyone teach you to respect your elders?"
"Why? Why should I respect them when they always leave me to fend for myself?! My human parents left me alone when the IRS came and took everything away. And you left me alone when you turned me. I had nobody!" She held her face tenderly where he had slapped her, her own anger hardly under control.
Angelus circled her slowly, "Poor Cordelia, always whining about the wrongs committed against her" he wiped away fake tears and grinned. "I didn't leave you, I wanted to give you the 411 on How To Live as a Vampire. You were the one who left me and I was so sad and alone without my newborn baby to hold"
His mockery of her finally made her snap. "Fuck you," she growled and shot her fist up, catching him sharply in the jaw. "It makes me sick to think that you're responsible for me being what I am. I despise you for what you did to me."
Angelus stumbled back a little from the force of her blow connecting with his jaw. He chuckled, "Like father, like daughter I guess. Did that make you feel better? Release all that anger just waiting to explode? If not, I can think of other ways to get rid of that pent-up frustration" he gave her a sick smile. "Whaddya say? Gonna spread your legs for daddy?" he chuckled again at her disgusted grimace.
"Go to hell," she fumed and walked to the other side of the room, trying to ignore his lustful glare that seemed to penetrate her very being.
"Been there, done that" Angelus replied simply, "If I hadn't had my soul it would've been a playground for me. But the soul doesn't like pain, can't imagine why"
"Because the soul is good, even if occasionally still an ass," she answered quietly, her rage subdued at the thought of the Angel that was lost. "The soul loved me."
"I love you" Angelus told her with a sadistic smirk, "After all you are my little girl. You can't deny you're not mine, you have my fangs"
"Is that what this is? Just a game? Am I a joke to you? I came back here because I couldn't bear to see you chained to a bed, unable to move and you turn everything that I'm feeling into a joke. I should have left you up here to rot." Her eyes were hard and dark as she growled at him.
"Here I thought I was bonding with my little girl" Angelus replied, getting all too much enjoyment from this for his own good. "Cordy, could you really stand to see your daddy dearest suffer all alone in here? Could you really stand it down there with those...humans on your own? No lying to your father now, I have to be a good role model"
"You're not a role model, you're a sadistic, evil, monster. And you're my sire, so no, I couldn't leave you up here, and you know that. You made sure of that, didn't you? That was the whole point of me feeding from you, bonding with you, wasn't it? Can't you do anything without being manipulative and insincere?"
"I tried to kill the Slayer, that was done without any misconceptions"
"After you messed with her mind and attacked the people she cared about. See, you can't do anything without being manipulative. You can't do one thing without it having an alterior motive, not even care about your own childe. You're just an insecure, incompetent vampire."
Incompetent vampire?" Angelus asked darkly as he quickly backed her up against the wall. "I don't think so, your little killing spree didn't even touch me when I was on my best behavior. I would peel strips of that delicate, mortal flesh slowly. I would keep people alive for days, weeks before they begged for death. Not just mortals, but vampires, because they can take more pain and are harder to break. You on the other hand, gave me a head that looked like Buffy. All painted up with the candyfloss lipstick and the pink flush across her cheeks. Impressive for a newborn, but you are my daughter. There was just one tiny flaw. That flaw was you. If that little head looked like you, that would have been so much better. It would have thrilled me and destroyed my soul"
"If you weren't such an incompetent vampire Cordelia, you would have known that" Angelus reverted to his vampire visage. "Vampires always keep a part of their mortality. Guess yours certainly isn't your brains. You live in the past, dwell on what was not what is. You claim the soul loved you and not the Slayer, but yet you still gave him a dolly head that looked just like her. What does that say about you?"
Cordelia tried to push him away from her but he pressed himself even harder against her. "He loved me, but he never got over his fascination with her, your obsession with her. And if I didn't keep my brains, what did I keep Angelus?"
"Your ability to see everything as it is, except when it comes to you. You are so clueless Cordelia, it would be funny if it weren't so sad" Angelus replied easily as he exerted more force, squeezing her smaller frame between his and the wall. "Obsessions come and go Cordy, I'm 240 and do you have any idea how many women I've been fascinated with?"
"You're over 250 dumbass, and I don't really care how many women you've been fascinated with," she managed to snark as she tried to squirm from beneath his weight.
Angelus grabbed her shoulders and slammed her against the wall. "Don't you even want to know about my obsession with you?"
Angelus licked his fangs in a sick show of thoughtful perversion. "The thought of cracking your hard assed shell, seeing what truly lies underneath all that. It would take so much to push you to the point of turning to me to end your torment. I want to cause you to feel everything, I want to be the cause of you feeling everything. Your pain fascinates me, how you push it all down so it doesn't exist. You see the horrors of this world in your brain and you close yourself off from it all. I want to crack you wide open."
Cordy shook at his words and tried harder to push him away from her. "I'll never give you that satisfaction," she told him, wanting it to sound stronger than it did. "No one's ever seen inside of me and you sure as hell won't."
Angelus let out a laugh in her ear, "I beg to differ Cordy, but you already have. That head told me you thought the soul was still deeply in love with the Slayer. And that tells me your little, dead heart must still break with the thought of the soul still loving her. What would you say if I said it was true?"
There is also the fact that you allow your shell to slip away so innocently, not even realizing your doing it," he added before she could answer his question. "That's what fascinates me the most about you. That caring and sweet little girl under all that make-up, and years of being groomed into something unrecognizable to yourself. You show yourself to me in ways that you never though possible"
"And in what ways do I show myself to you?" she asked, her voice shaking a little with the fear of what his answer would be. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to know.
"You know who you cry out for after a vision; you know whose arms you curl up in. The way you look up at me, those precious jewel-like eyes just shining with undiscovered emotions. I've lived a long time Cordy and I can read those emotions on most people but with you" he gave his head a little shake. "Those moments are so fleeting and so few I have to look deep when they happen. The way you killed that little blonde just to get my approval."
"I didn't do it to get your approval," she lied, not wanting to admit that he was right. "I did it because she was there...and I thought it would make a nice present." Her stomach revolted at the memory and she had to close her eyes to keep her body under control.
"You just contradicted yourself in the same sentence" Angelus pointed out as he backed away. He began to realize violence was not the way to get into her head, she would take violence and give it back just as much. "If you didn't give me that gift for my approval, then why did you care whether it would make a nice gift at all?"
"I...I didn't care!" Her head began to ache with the confusion he was placing in her. "I don't care about your approval! I was just trying to be what I am and do a good job of it!"
"You did do a pretty good job considering you were on your own, Angelus told her with a smile of satisfaction. "You must have killed at least 6 or 7 people, not to mention attacking sweet, naive Fred in her own home. And what you did to Lilah Morgan was so despicably vile and evil, God I loved it. Even turned the soul got turned on, sure it was rape in all sense of the word, but the sight of two bitches getting it on, in her office no less, delicious"
She rubbed her head, digging the heels of her hands into her temples as she tried to get rid of the images that he brought to the surface. "Stop, please." Her entire body shook as the images flashed more vividly than any vision that she'd ever experienced.
He cradled her body, giving her the feeling of comfort before shattering it into a million pieces. "How did it feel Cordy? To have your fingers mercilessly driving into another woman's heat? Did it feel good to take away all her power replacing it with the self-disgust you know she'll have looking back at her from the mirror? Revenge is so sweet isn't it?"
She collapsed against him, the tears running down her face as she looked up at him. "Please, I don't want to remember. I don't want to feel this way. It hurts so much and the thoughts of what I did make me sick. I don't want to be sickened by my own actions. Please make it stop."
"I could make it stop Cordy but you were the one who locked us in here. Just think of all the fun we could have had together torturing Willow into getting rid of that soul of yours" Angelus purred in her ear, laughter in his voice. "To be honest, it makes a change seeing another vampire suffer with having a soul stuffed inside them. Even if it is my own daughter, rather ironic considering you took mine away after devoting yourself to saving it"
"I want you to make it stop. I don't want to torture anyone into it. I want you to do it. Can't you do one thing for me?"
Angelus curled his lips into a cruel smile, "Does your soul come with the happiness clause?" he asked hopefully.
Part 14: Control and Betrayal
"I want you to make it stop. I don't want to torture anyone into it. I want you to do it. Can't you do one thing for me?"
Angelus curled his lips into a cruel smile, "Does your soul come with the happiness clause?" he asked hopefully.
"Geez, I don't know. I was a little busy with the rebelling at the time of cursing," she retorted in frustration and rolled her eyes. She had retained her ability to change moods at the blink of an eye that was certain.
"I want your soul gone as much as you Cordy" Angelus told her, "That would have been possible if you hadn't locked me in here. I would have done all the torturing for you while you got some quality time with Willow. What would you like to do to her after what happened back in high school?" he raised her shirt and traced her scar.
Her eyes rolled back slightly as he touched her bare skin. "I'd like to make her feel the same pain she made me feel. I'd like to take a rebar and shove it through her body just so she could feel the agonizing pain that her and Xander caused me."
"Would you like me to make her feel that pain? Would you like me to make Xander feel that pain?" Angelus purred, purposely keeping his triumphant smirk hidden as he appealed to the violent nature of the demon in his childe. He ran his fingers in slow circles over her bare stomach, "I could make them pay for hurting you or you could do it yourself"
"I want you to do it with me. I want us to make them pay together," she whispered, her soul and her demon fighting inside of her, but her demon was currently winning. "I want Xander to have to see it happening to Willow. He can feel the pain of betrayal by someone that you once loved when he sees me inflict all of that pain on his precious little witch."
"The trouble is Cordelia" Angelus broke the spell he had her under. "You would have to live with all that pain and suffering for eternity because you locked us in here. I can't do anything and I'm enjoying seeing you suffer. Do you know how bad it makes me feel that, even after all this time, you're still taken with Xander? So I think you should suffer for lying to me Cordelia"
"I'm not taken with Xander. I just want to make him hurt the way he hurt me."
Angelus gave her a knowing look, his smirk still hidden. "After all this time, three years I think it's been, since you broke up with that kid. If you weren't taken with him then why does it still hurt you that he dumped you for the Witch?"
"Because I gave up everything for him! I was Queen C and I gave up my reputation for him only to have him dump me for the biggest geek in Sunnydale High, no to mention the permanent scar I was left with."
"Poor, little rich bitch, Angelus chuckled in her ear, "Always getting dumped for the nerds and freaks. I didn't give you a second glance either, did I? My world revolved around Buffy, the little blonde you despised with a passion. Don't you wonder who it was I was thinking of while making love to you?"
The tears formed in her eyes and she pushed him away from her. "Shut up. I don't want to hear anymore." Cordy walked back to her window and stared out into the night, willing her tears to go away. "I hate you," she growled as she heard him laugh quietly and sadistically.
"You're just like an insecure little girl Cordy. Always seeking approval from people, always hiding her vulnerability under a roughened shell. I thought it would take a little more than an obvious lie to break you" Angelus sauntered over to join her at the window. "I was thinking of you alright Cordy, I was thinking of how a lay you really were. How good those thighs of yours felt gripping my waist, how good it felt having your nails scraping my back" he shuddered. "I'm not sure if I like the little girl you really are under that shell, I don't like my women to be a walk over"
"I am what I am Angelus. And I wouldn't be a walk over if you'd just make all of this stop. A girl can only take so much. Give me all the pain in the world, but don't fuck with my mind. Don't make me tell you what I want to do to my friends even though you know it makes my soul ache and then use it against me. Yeah, it may have been a lie Angelus, but it still hurt. What would you do if I told you that it was Gunn I was thinking about the entire time you were inside of me?" she challenged him, regaining her resolve and hardening her shell once again against his attacks. He wants to play that way, she'd play right back.
Angelus narrowed his eyes, wanting to hurt her if that was the case, he knew she was playing his game right back but it still enraged him. "I'd kill him and make you watch" he replied without a trace of remorse.
"My point taken," she answered simply and crossed her arms. "So how about we skip the childish mind games and save each other the pain and anger and rage? Sound like a plan?"
"Pain, anger and rage are my favourite emotions Cordelia. You can't expect me to give up the things I love the most just for you"
"Like what?" Angelus asked as he turned her to face him, "Sitting cross-legged and dealing with my inner pain?" he mocked back.
She turned and caught him off guard with her fist as it connected with his nose. "How about dealing with your outer pain?" she grinned sarcastically as he stumbled back a few steps.
Angelus vamped out and hit her back, sending Cordelia to her knees before dragging her back up to face him by her hair. "How bout we deal with yours?" he asked as he shoved her onto the floor, laughing when she hissed in pain as she landed.
She narrowed her eyes at him and jumped to her feet, shifting her own face in anger. "You are so going to pay for that. NO ONE gets away with treating me like that, and you've racked up a whole lot of pain in the past few hours."
Angelus laughed at her show of defiance, "What are you gonna do? Bore me to death? Or are you wanting a little one-on-one?"
"Bring it on Mr. 'I'm-a-badass-vampire-that-can't-even-get-rid-of-his-own-childe's-soul-without-torturing-someone'! You know, it gets old after awhile, bitch, bitch bitch, I need to torture someone so they'll do my job for me. Do your own damn dirty work for once!"
Angelus stood still for a few seconds as he contemplated her words. He turned, ready to hit her again but Cordelia grasped his wrist stopping his fist from connecting with her face. His gaze totally unreadable and unpredictable as they stood in a face-off.
"Guess you rubbed off on me Daddy," she told him, emphasizing the sarcasm on the last word. "I got your bad attitude along with your fangs apparently."
Angelus' expression turned genuinely thoughtful, "How are you going to apply your make-up if you don't have a reflection?" he asked, suddenly changing the subject.
She stared at him in confusion and then her expression darkened. "Dammit! And my hair! How am I going to do my hair! You're so gonna have to do it for me, you realize that don't you?"
Angelus easily released his wrist from her tight grasp and touched her short hair. "You're going to let it grow long again, he told her. "I wanted to kill you when you cut it, I don't like short hair on you"
"Umm...well, you did kill me," she pointed out and smiled slightly.
That got a genuine grin out of the soulless vampire, "You know what they say, better late then never. I wanted to kill you in Sunnydale, I wanted to torture you when you bluffed me with holy water and I wanted to kill you when you got sucked into Pylea" he pushed her back a little bit and got pushed back. "That all you got?"
"Well, I wanted to stake you in Sunnydale, I wanted to stake you when I bluffed you with holy water, I wanted to stake you for your little Darla fiasco, and I did almost let the Pyleans take off your head." She counted on her fingers and grinned. "Looks like I'm one up on you," she smiled and pushed him harder.
Angelus pushed back a little harder, making her stumble back a few steps away from him. "I wanted to kill you when you wore that cat costume at Halloween" he pushed her again. "I wanted to kill you when you moved in with me" he stumbled back when Cordelia growled and pushed back twice as hard. "I wanted to kill you when you moved out" he shoved her this time.
"I wanted to stake you for making Doyle find me a new apartment." She shoved him. "I wanted to stake you for being a dumbass and firing us all." She raised an eyebrow when he shoved her back. "I wanted to stake you for looking so damn hot in that towel, all dripping wet, when I moved myself in." She shoved him against the wall. "And I really wanted to stake you for just standing there like a dumbass and not coming into that bathroom and taking me in the shower. I know you were thinking about me in your shower, all naked and vulnerable," she purred, leaning up so her lips were next to his ear.
Angelus spun them around so her back was against the wall, "I had my soul, wanted to play the gentleman and keep you safe from, well, me" he pinned her shoulders against the wall in a grip that would bruise even though she was a vampire. "Now, that soul isn't a problem so nothing to lose"
"Except mine," she grinned mischievously and snaked her arms around his waist, her fingernails lightly scraping the bare skin at the small of his back.
He threw her to the ground but got pulled down when Cordelia yanked on his ankles, making him land on his butt. "Bitch!" he growled as he rolled them over so he was straddling her hips with his hands either side of her head. "Still wanna stake me?" he purred.
"Maybe I should stake you Cordelia, he responded crudely as he dropped his entire weight onto her body, crushing her breasts against his chest. He shifted so he could cup her and tease her through her shirt with rough touches. "My childe," he purred as he tasted her lower lip that had begun to bleed, making him crave to bite her deeply.
"Don't tease, it's not nice," she chastised him as her body arched underneath his touch. "I thought you were suppose to be the one reprimanding me for things like that, being my sire and all." She felt his tongue sliding over her lip, taking every bit of the blood it released hungrily.
"You're right" Angelus moved to her neck and bit her deeply, growling in satisfaction as he took her blood and made it his own. He felt Cordelia writhe underneath him as she bit him back, devouring him just as hungrily as he was her.
Her fingers curled and uncurled, wanting nothing more than to touch him every place that was accessible to her, but he held her wrists tightly above her head. Her body arched and she moaned into his neck as he sunk his fangs in deeper.
Her taste was still the same; her body felt the same and held the same scent. Angelus retracted his fangs and brought her legs around his waist, making his very obvious erection come into direct contact with her own obvious excitement. He shifted again to be able to shove his pants down, followed by her trousers and underwear. The rough way he was handling her had Cordelia glaring at him, "No soul not a gentleman Cordy" Angelus said in response to her questioning gaze.
"Rip my clothes, you're buying me new ones," she warned as she squeezed her legs tighter around his waist.
He did the obvious. Within a matter of seconds, her clothes were behind her body having been torn down the middle cleanly and easily. "Much better" he squeezed her breasts together to admire her cleavage as he teased her nipples with his hands making Cordelia hiss. "C'mon Cordy give a little back" he urged with a smirk that she wanted to smack off.
"Do you have any idea how much that shirt cost?" she glared as she grabbed his neck and roughly pulled his head to her. She heard his moan as her free hand moved down between them and gripped him tightly. "How do you plan on replacing that? It was a designer," she snarked into his mouth as his tongue tried to stop her talking.
"Shut up," Angelus growled into her mouth as he used her gasp of outrage to slide his tongue over hers, effectively stopping her from talking. He shuddered as she started to move her hand in slow motion that had him rocking his hips to increase pace and pressure as he continued to assault her mouth in a deep kiss. Her body ached for more than just the pleasurable torture he was exerting on her nipples and she moaned her need as she increased the pressure of her hand.
"Angelus," she pleaded almost silently as her body began to writhe more and more beneath him.
"Shut up and do as you're told" Angelus whispered his order. "I'm going to teach you how to please your sire and you're going to be a good little girl and do it" he bit her collarbone lightly as he moved away from her hand.
She whimpered at the loss of contact with him and looked at him, her eyes filled with desire and uncertainty. She waited for him to tell her what he wanted since he showed no signs of giving her what she so desperately needed.
Angelus stood and kicked his pants the rest of the way off and made a come hither movement with his finger. Cordelia got up off the floor and did as she was told. "Get on your knees Cordelia" he instructed, his tone and expression daring her to argue with him.
She obeyed and looked up at him questioningly. Everything in her wanted to beat him down for ordering her around, but she didn't. She waited for his next order, the demon in her wanting nothing more than to please her sire.
"Use that mouth for something useful" came his next order as he watched her through desire-filled onyx eyes, intent on watching everything she did.
She opened her mouth to say something sarcastic, but Angelus shoved himself in before she could get a word out. She instinctively new how to move around him, how to slide her tongue up and down the length of him in a way that pleased him immensely. She increased the intensity when she heard the moans and growls coming from him.
Angelus fought the urge to close his eyes as he watched his childe bring him closer to the peak. He reached for her hair and fisted the short lengths and caressing her cheek with his thumb. He felt Cordelia move her hands to trail up and down the backs of his thighs, making him shudder with sensations. He didn't think he had ever seen anything so erotic as Cordelia when she raised her own onyx gaze to meet his as she toyed with him in her mouth. He moaned her name and gripped her hair tighter as he pushed his hips a little harder as he demanded more from her.
She gripped his thighs tightly as she quickened her pace and took him in even more, feeling his fingers tug at her hair almost painfully as he moved closer and closer to the edge.
With a harsh growl, Angelus pushed her away, "Get on the bed Cordelia. Now" he demanded hotly as he tried to ignore the pain in his groin for a few seconds.
She struggled to keep from falling and managed to get to her feet. She lay on the bed and waited for whatever came next. Her body ached with arousal and she wondered how long he was going to make her suffer.
Angelus looked at Cordelia's naked body laying on his bed, panting even though she didn't need the oxygen to survive anymore, that act showed how young she was. Her eyes flashing between onyx and the molten lava that was the demon inside her. He wondered how far he could push her before her soul let go of the tight, restraining leash she had on it. Her toned legs slightly parted, but not enough. "Spread your legs Cordelia" he ordered as he walked to the foot of the bed.
She opened herself to him invitingly, hoping he'd release the pressure that was building inside of her rapidly. "Please," she whispered as he looked at her appreciatively.
His own eyes darkened as she begged him to relieve her, to send her into oblivion, as only he knew he could do. If she wanted that release, if she wanted feel the relief then she could do it for herself, giving him the voyeuristic pleasure of watching how she pleased herself. "Do it yourself? he told her in a deep, rich and melodious whisper. "I want to watch you"
"What?" she asked, a tinge of defiance in her voice. Her soul was screaming for her to stop before she went to far, but Angelus' deafening silence drowned it out. "What do you want me to do?"
"Touch yourself. I want to watch you pleasure yourself Cordelia, don't make me tell you again. You wanted to know how to please me, your sire, and I'm telling you. Do it," he growled deeply as he looked at her expectantly. His body was crying out to be embedded deeply inside her, filling her to the core as he made her shake and shudder, giving her all he had to give and taking everything from her in return.
She nervously moved her hand down to the apex of her thighs. She had never done anything so private with someone watching her and her remaining mortal humility left her shaking as her fingers slid inside of her core, causing her to moan quietly. She quickly got into a rhythm, her eyes squeezing shut as she continuously probed herself with her fingers, eliciting moans and sighs of pleasure. Her body began to writhe and rock with her movements as she brought herself closer and closer to an orgasm.
A corner of his mouth quirked up in a slow pleasure-filled smirk as he lay in between her thighs. His tongue joining her feminine fingers, Cordelia snapped her eyes open and looked towards Angelus, whose eyes remained locked onto her face, gauging her reaction. He circled her most sensitive part with his tongue as he removed her fingers from inside herself and replaced them with his own. He thrust in harshly as he continued with the gentle torture from his tongue. She tasted so good to him, sweet delicious and the tantalising essence of her rapidly approaching peak he was bringing her too. He eased a third finger inside her, stretching her wider and causing her bite back a whimper of painful pleasure.
Her legs began to shake uncontrollably and she ran her fingers through his hair as his fingers continued to move inside of her. Her eyes fluttered and rolled back as she began to thrust against him frantically. Her whimpers became louder and then began to form into moans and growls as she threw her head back violently. She growled his name, wanting him to send her crashing over the edge.
He could feel how close she was but held back from ending her tormented pleasure just yet. He wanted to be fully inside her when that happened. With a heartfelt groan, Angelus pulled away, ignoring Cordelia glare and growl as he licked his lips of her taste. He flipped her onto her knees and moved so he had access to her neck. He ran one hand smoothly over her smooth skin and in one single, hard move entered her. Angelus closed his eyes and held still for a moment, not realising he was still as close as he was. The way she felt, the way her inner muscles gripped him tightly was almost too much. "Cordelia" he purred in the same deep, rich and melodious voice, "Feel good?" he purred in her ear as he leaned over her back.
"Yes," she gasped and leaned back into him, driving him deeper into her still.
He didn't respond with words, he set a hard, fast pace, making Cordelia mewl, whimper and scream a little as he showed her how to please him. Even if it was more like him showing her how a sire should please his childe. He moved a hand to her shoulder, down her arm, along her stomach and finally resting on the top of her pelvis. He slid a few inches lower, and began to torture her again as he increased his pace and pressure. No human would have been able to take the amount of pressure he was using but then again, Cordelia wasn't a human. She was a vampire and his childe. His eyes fell closed as he began to lose focus on his surroundings and could only concentrate on Cordelia.
The muscles of her slick, wet channel began to tighten around him fiercely and she began to lose control of herself. She was thankful he had an arm around her or she knew she would have collapsed on the bed as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. A loud, primal growl came from deep within her as she continued to tighten and relax and she gasped for un-needed air once again.
Cordelia's body ceased it's hitching and began shaking with the tears that were flooding her eyes. What had she done? She had tried to lose her soul and betrayed Angel. She had given in to the demon only to be left still souled.
Angelus felt the soul still within Cordelia, hadn't she felt perfect happiness? He refused to believe he wasn't good enough for her. He moved away from her, trying to get his thoughts together and take control back. The thought that she hadn't achieved happiness enough to set her soul free had him in confused and angry. Hadn't she said she loved him? If she loved him how come she still had her soul? His laughing started quietly but grew louder as he looked at her crying silently on the bed.
She pulled her legs up to her chest, trying to block out the sound of his laughter. Why hadn't it worked? She had been happier than she had ever felt before, even happier than when her and Angel had made love, releasing Angelus. Why did she still have a soul and why was he laughing at her?
"I guess it takes more than a quick romp to get a slut like you happy eh Cordelia?" Angelus' laughter subsided and a hard, abrupt edge came to his words as he looked down at her.
She tried to block out his words. She closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep and perhaps wake up soulless.
"What would it take you get your soul to crack and break I wonder" Angelus mused thoughtfully. He reached out to grab her sheet-covered ankle and yanked her down across the bed, eliciting a surprised yelp from Cordelia. He let go of her ankle and grabbed her hair tightly and brought her up to face him. "I never thought you were as much of a slut as you are. How silly of me to think of you as a woman with morals. To think I honestly hoped I could make you happy enough to lose your soul like you did for me" he laughed in her face this time. "I guess it seems right that a slut like you would know how to get a man off that good"
Her eyes narrowed at him. "Don't you blame this on me," she growled lowly. "I was happy, happier than I've ever been. It's not my fault that you just don't have the 'touch' that I did. Guess two centuries of experience don't add up to shit, do they?"
Angelus snapped his hand shut into a fist that suddenly collided with Cordelia's face, sending her sprawling to the floor, with blood seeping from her lip. "I guess I'm going to have to break your soul the old fashioned way" he yanked her back off the floor and slapped the other side of her face.
"I don't think you can do it," she challenged him. "All those promises and you can't fulfil them. Don't make promises you can't keep." Her tone was low and even as her own fist connected with his jaw.
Angelus stumbled back from the force of her blow, "A father has to be a good role model for his children" he smashed his fist directly into her nose and blood coated his knuckles. "This is one promise I will not be breaking" Cordelia's next punch sent him down on one knee and she brought her kneecap up to connect with his jaw.
She watched him fall back on the floor and she stood over him smugly. "What kind of role model are you? The only thing I ever wanted was for you to take this awful soul out of you and me so I could be yours completely can't even do it. What kind of role model is a failure?" She kicked hard in the ribs as she wiped the blood away from her nose with the back of her hand.
He kicked her legs out from under her and Cordelia landed hard on the floor. Angelus stood up, "I'm not the failure her Cordelia, you've failed yourself and every fucking belief you ever had in my souled self. You turned your back on your soul, listened to the demon's desires not giving a fucking damn about what might have happened if you had lost your soul" he leaned down and hauled her up by her neck. "Ah Cordy, did it feel good to ignore your soul and screw me without a second thought?"
"Does it feel good to know that you aren't vampire enough to take my soul from me like I could you? I gave you what you so desperately wanted. Where's my thanks? I get no appreciation for letting you out, you sadistic, sick, bastard." Her knee came up, this time connecting with his groin before she used his pain to head-butt him.
Angelus shoved his pain aside as he sprung back up onto his feet. He shoved Cordelia into the wall, "Thank you, he said as he bounced her forehead off the wall, leaving a crack in the plaster. "For letting me out" he brought his knee up into her stomach and sent her to her knees. "Like what you've created?" he asked cruelly.
She swung her leg, sweeping his feet out from underneath him. "I don't know do you like what you've created?" She struggled to her feet, her strength suddenly wavering. "First you turned me and then you gave me a soul, so I'm your creation Angelus. You only have yourself to blame." She unconsciously clutched the bedpost to keep herself from falling.
Angelus looked at her as he got up off the floor, pain shooting through his body. "Yes I like what I've created" he replied as he refrained from making another move to fight her. "Looks like somebody's hungry. What some of the delicious human blood you can feel downstairs?"
Cordy reached for him as she stumbled forward. Her head ached as badly as her stomach. The bruises and open wounds he had inflicted on her came nowhere near close to the other pain.
Angelus caught her, stopping her battered body from hitting the floor. "Poor Cordy, all hungry and no humans to drink from. Do you want some blood?"
"Yes," she answered, resting her head against his chest.
He rocked her back and forth, stroking her hair soothingly. "I'll take care of you Cordy," he soothed. He walked her over to the bed they had shared not so long ago and laid her down. He grabbed the ruffled sheets and pulled one over Cordelia's bruised and naked body and wrapped one around his waist. His own body covered in bruises and he couldn't help but be proud she was a strong vampire.
"Why won't it go away?" she asked weakly. "What did they do to me?"
"I'll find out Cordy" Angelus replied as he went to open the door but it wouldn't budge. He tried again and it still wouldn't budge. "Stupid lock spell" he growled as he started banging on the door loudly. "Hellooo down there," he hollered even louder.
: Wesley walked to the closed door and wondered what had happened behind it. None of them were oblivious to the sounds of fighting that had floated down the stairs, but he had respected Cordelia's wishes. "What is it Angelus?" he asked flatly through the solid wood.
"Cordy's hungry, you wanna send Willow up here?" Angelus asked with a smirk.
"I certainly think not. I will bring up some pig's blood for her," he answered without amusement.
"Why can her soul not be removed?" Angelus asked suddenly and stopping Wesley's departure. "We've tried all sorts of ways and I can't believe I didn't give her one bit of happiness. So I'm thinking someone royally screwed up my child and I can tell ya Daddy isn't pleased"
"She would never be happy with you Angelus. She has a soul and she wouldn't want you to take it away from her," Wesley answered knowingly, not knowing just how wrong he really was. "And Cordy doesn't have the happiness clause. Willow and I altered the spell."
Angelus laughed heartily through the door, "Wes how wrong you are. Cordy was all to willing to give up her soul for me. I had writhing and begging for more for most of the last few hours or so. I could describe just how she likes my tongue..."
"The spell got altered and nobody thought to clear it with me first?" he asked as an added after thought.
"No. Angel was too distraught at the time to be burdened with the details. And I refuse to believe that Cordelia would willingly let you try and take her soul away. I'm certain you must have tricked her into ignoring her soul." He didn't want to hear any more of the vampire's lies and proceeded to the kitchen. Upon returning, he opened the door, aware that Angelus wouldn't be able to touch him. He grinned bitterly at the vampire's anger. "It's like an uninvite spell, only it keeps you in instead of keeping you out."
"I truly am flattered by all these personalised spells you people are coming with for my benefit" Angelus replied, taking the time to indulge in Wesley's bitterness. "I mean giving my daughter a soul for keeps, coming up with a new way to use the invitation spell tell me Wussly. What else have you cooked up for little old me?"
"The same as we did for Cordelia. When we re-ensoul you, it will be permanent this time. No chance of you ever getting out." Wesley threw a couple of packets of blood into the room at Angelus' feet. He looked passed him and at the bed. "Cordelia, are you okay?" he called to the sleeping form.
"Make him go away and come back to bed" Cordelia purred sleepily, not realising Wesley was really standing in the doorway.
Wesley glared at Angelus and motioned toward the packets. "Make sure she drinks those," he ordered and shut the door firmly.
Cordelia rolled over in the bed and forced her eyes open. "Angelus?" she whispered as she heard his low growl from across the room.
Angelus tossed a blood bag towards Cordelia on the bed as he followed its direction and sat down. "I have news on your soul"
"Disgusting isn't it?" Angelus asked with his own cringe as he opened another blood pack and drank slowly from it.
"There's hardly any flavour, and what there is of it is old and stale," she answered. "What about my soul?" she asked, ignoring said soul's protests at her betrayal.
"The little Witch altered the spell and made it permanent" Angelus replied with a growl as his brain started coming up with ways of how to get rid of her soul and stop it from happening to him. "It seems that the little do-gooders have the spell planned for me too"
She dropped the packet; letting the last few drops spill onto the sheets. "I-I'm stuck with it? You can't take it away?" Her lower lip quivered slightly. "We can't let them do it to you! One of us needs to be happy!"
Angelus gave her a sarcastic grin, "I would have been able to kill them but you had to go and get Wussly to put a lock spell over the door. And it was your behaviour that caused me to give you a soul in the first place" he pointed out. "I really can't believe you did that to Lilah. I wonder how she's holding up, can't be much knowing you've been raped by another woman"
She smiled inwardly at the memory and felt the corners of her mouth slightly curl up, but her soul screamed. "Maybe I can convince Wes to break the spell..." she pondered, trying to keep the smirk from her lips.
Smirking himself, Angelus looked at her with a questioning eyebrow. "How do you plan to do that?" he asked as he shifted so he was next to her.
She shrugged. "Someone once told me I could be quite persuasive when I wanted to be."
"If you can get us out of the mess you got us into Cordelia, I'll give you anything you want" he told her as an invitation for her to do so.
TBC