Title: A Momentary Peace
Author: Lilly Rose
Posted: 09-23-2003
Email: e_jones78@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Category:
Content: A/C
Summary: The things we do for love...
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Simply ask and watch me faint from joy.
Notes: This originally ran on ff.net. I have since removed it from that site, but if this is a problem it being here, please let me know.
Feedback:
Thanks/Dedication: Thanks to my beta Christie for the fab words of praise and the demand for more. And for Missi, who waaay back at DragonCon 2001 said "You know Lilly, this is Angel and Cordelia..."

---

A hoarse voice spoke her name from the shadows.

"Cordelia..."

She didn't bother to turn on the lights. In the half-shadows of her apartment by moonlight, she saw all that she wanted to see.

Once invited, always invited. He sat, a looming dark figure, on her couch. She stood in the doorway; wanting to go to him (still), but knowing that she had to have this moment on her terms.

"I can't stay away," he quietly told her. "Even after you asked me to. I need you too much."

She laughed, a sound without humor or life. "You've got a funny way of showing it."

He turned to her; she heard the protest of the couch springs, and his eyes glittered in the semi-darkness. "I showed you everyday. When I was with you, I didn't have to be strong all the time, I didn't have to have all the answers. I...," he paused. "I didn't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. With you, I'm just me. You are the only person I can say that about."

She allowed herself to move, and carefully sat down beside him. "I don't know how you expect me to react to that," she admitted. "What am I suppose to say? "Yay for your pain and your need" and forget about mine? What about me? Do you know how hard it was to walk out on you like that? Don't get me wrong, it was the right thing to do, but it hurt like hell." She took a deep, shaky breath. "It hurt like hell, but it didn't hurt as much as I do sitting here with you now."

"Cor..."

She realized that she was willing to forgive him the moment he'd spoken her name. The problem lay in the fact that at the present moment she was simply too tired to care about her compromised principles. With a feeling like falling, she gave into the turmoil, the uncertainty, and the happiness. "Please," she cut him off, pressing her fingers against his cold lips. Her arms went around him, her head rested against his unbeating heart. The tears forcing their way out were almost as painful as the act of crying them.

"Please," she repeated in a sniffle. "Don't listen to me the next time I tell you to leave."

Even as she asked, she knew he couldn't promise her that. "Of course I won't," he said. She could hear in his voice that he half believed the lie himself. Yet neither one said another word. And when the morning light came, she shut the curtains and her heart against it.

End.