Cabin Fever (1/1)
Author: Alexis
Disclaimer: Nope, I don’t own them as much as I wish I did. I’m just borrowing them.
Summary: The guys are taking a break over Christmas at David Nabbit’s house in the mountains and revelations are made.

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“Whoa. Dude knows how the decorate.”
A tired Charles Gunn carrying two suitcases, a vanity box (both with large I Love Texas Stickers affixed) and backpack looked around the spacious, luxury cabin with wonder.
The living room was huge with large windows looking out over the mountains and a massive fireplace on the opposite wall.
There were plush armchairs, a loveseat and a long couch, all situated around a dark wood coffee table with the remote to the widescreen TV and surround sound stero system on it. The floors were covered with the same wood as the coffee table with a plush cream rug in front of the fire.
The whole place reeked of money.
“Well Mr Nabbit is a very generous man…” Wesley added, putting the one suitcase with his personal belongings on the floor.
“Pfff…if he wasn’t so head over heels in love with Cordelia he would have never loaned us this place for Christmas.”
Fred walked in with only a leather backpack and snowflakes in her hair. She smiled at her surroundings making the tall man holding her luggage turn to mush.
“Thanks for carrying my bags Charles.”
Gunn smiled and nodded shyly while Wesley adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
“Where are Cordelia and Angel?” Wesley, asked peering out of the frosted over windows.
“Um, when I got outta the car, they weren’t in the best of moods…” Fred ventured.
“Quite.” He replied, taking in the scene before him.

“I’m so sick of this!” Cordelia screamed, glaring at Angel from across the roof of the car.
Connor was sitting in his car seat, gazing wide eyed at his father.
“What did I do!”
“I wish I’d rode here in Gunn’s truck with the others. At least then Connor would have been the only one to listen to the ‘I wonder what everyone in Sunnydale is doing’ and ‘oh, I hope Buffy’s having a good time’ moaning I got all the way here.”
“I did not say-”
“Oh just shut up! Shut up! The whole point of this trip was to have a break from all the LA stuff and just have a normal Christmas for Connor. But no. You just can’t let it go. All it ever is with you is Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! For god’s sake…”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t mention Sunnydale once! Or Buffy!”
“Oh yeah? ‘I wonder what the weather’s going to be like in Southern California this week. I remember once it snowed!’ Yeah, that’s not Sunnydale or Buf-”
“Can we just not have this conversation?” he pleaded, a note of desperation in his voice.
She huffed and leaned down and unbuckled the squirming baby from his seat.
“I’m taking Connor inside.”
She walked up to the house and when she reached the door she turned.
“Oh and Angel? Carry the decorations and cases inside. Now.”

Cordelia walked into the house and forced at smile at Gunn, Wesley and Fred who were all sitting around the fire and pretending they hadn’t been listening to the argument.
“Come on, lets sort out where everyone is rooming.”
Between them they decided that Wesley and Gunn would have the two rooms facing the mountain range, Fred and Cordy would have the two large rooms next to one another on the 2nd floor and Angel and Connor would have the bedroom at the top of the house with a skylight (thankfully with thick blinds. Apparently David Nabbit had some kind of sun sensitivity.)
“Guess all those hours in front of computer screens did some damage, huh Connor?”
As she pulled the blinds down while bobbing Connor up and down, she continued to muse aloud.
“What if I just don’t close these? Then the moron will forget and the sun’ll come up and turn him into vamp flakes…” she muttered under her breath as she pushed open the door to his room.
The baby in her arms whimpered.
“I know, I know…I don’t mean it. But sometimes your Daddy gets me so mad. He obsesses about the past but is totally incapable of seeing what’s right in front of him.”
She took of the baby blue jacket Connor was wearing and walked him over to the rocking chair by the window.
“He doesn’t seem to notice that he has a family right here. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s thinking about the future. You’ve made him exicted about it.When you’re a bit older and your daddy’s human you’re gonna be leaving us and going to live with a woman called Buffy. You’ll get a new family that’s probably weirder than the one you’ve got now.”
The baby grabbed her shirt in his tiny fist and looked up at her with eyes that seemed to protest her words.
“But don’t you worry. I’ll always be Aunt Cordy…” she smiled and kissed his forehead.
Someone cleared her throat behind her and Cordelia whirled around to face a sheepish Fred.
“Sorry for startlin’ ya.”
“That’s alright.”
Cordelia walked over to the bassionet by the bed and placed the baby in it, tucking a light blanket over him gently.
“Ya gotta tell him the real reason you’re so grumpy.”
Cordelia gave her a look that would have sent anyone else scurrying away from them as fast as they could.
But Fred was not anyone else.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Fred smiled.
“Yes you do. You’re scared that one day Angel’s going to leave with Connor and we’re all going to split up. That’s why you’re so touchy about the B word.”
Cordelia’s eyes widened then she caught her slip.
“No, I’m not. I’ll be the first one to be doing the dance of joy when Angel becomes human and goes back to Buffy. Its what he’s always wanted. And just because he’s gone doesn’t mean to say the rest of us will split up.”
Fred shook her head.
“Not foolin’ me.”
“Look, Fred, I appreciate the concern but you have nothing to be worried about. When Angel gets all alive again I can continue on my path to being a international superstardom-”
“Cordelia-”
“No Fred. As soon as Angel becomes human, I’m guessing the visions will stop and I’ll be free. And he can go and live his nice little life with Miss-I-accessorise-my-stake-with-a-push-up-bra-Summers.”
“Well if I’m keeping you, please go ahead and leave.”
The masculine voice made her jump three feet in the air for the second time in less than five minutes.
“Don’t start Angel. I’m not in the mood.”
“No, I mean if you’re so trapped just go. I’ll find a way to get rid of your visions once and for all and you can go back to being the shallow bitch you used to be.”
Cordelia recoiled as if she’d be slapped.
“How DARE you talk to me like that!” she snapped.
“Oh so you can dish it but you can’t take it?”
“Oh I can take it. I took it the minute I got involved with the band of freaks otherwise known as the Scoobies.”
“Freaks? I seem to remember you drooling all over one before he cheated on you.”
“Yeah, well we all make mistakes. The word Jenny Calender mean anything to you?”
“Yeah it does. But I’m trying to make up for my sins. What about you?”
“You think you can ever make it up to Giles? You killed the woman he loved. Maybe he’ll never have the kids and the grandchildren round the fire. But, never mind, because Angel will make it up to him.”
Fred was getting increasingly worried. She’d never, ever, ever seen anything like this from anybody. They weren’t just being mean…they were talking to one another like they…hated each other.
“What’s wrong with you? You keep throwing my past in my face? What do you want from me?”
“I want the Angel who was my friend back.”
“We are friends.”
“Yeah, that’s why we’ve been trading insults for the past 5 minutes.”
“No, we’re trading insults because you insulted someone I care about.”
“Oh man.” She chuckled bitterly. “So, I’m the tiniest bit spiteful for the first time in ages about Buffy but Buffy can insult me all she wants and it doesn’t matter?”
“That’s different.”
“Yeah it is. You love her and I’m just a-”
“A what?”
“Forget it.”
“No, tell me what you are!”
“A friend! I’m good old reliable Cordy. Push her away and she’ll come scampering back for more. Say what you like to her, she just pretends she doesn’t hear. Well I’m through with this. I’m through with you.”
“Maybe that’s for the best.”
“Angel! You can’t mean that!” Fred squeaked, rocking a now wide awake Connor.
“I do. If she doesn’t want to be here then she’s a liability. She could get Connor or one of you hurt. I can’t allow that.”
Not a second after he’d finished his sentence his head recoiled back with the force of the unexpected slap.
Cordelia, her eyes beginning to glass over, but refusing to cry, stood as close as she could to him and practically spat her words at him.
“I love Connor like I would my own child. Don’t you ever…EVER…say I would do anything to hurt him.”
She shook her head and stepped back.
“You know what? You and Angelus really aren’t so different at all. Both of your are cruel sadistic bastards.”
Fred, covered Connor’s ears and grimiced at the glares the seer and vampire were sending each other.
Cordelia was the first to break the stare and left the room, tempted to slam the door behind her but not wanting to wake Connor she settled for a parting shot.
“Fred, I’d watch out. As soon as you think you know Deadboy over there-” she paused, watching Xander’s old insult sink in. “-he goes and proves himself to be what he tries to hide he is: a monster.”
She closed the door, leaving the tall, thin girl to face an irritated Angel.
“Fred…its probably best if you go.”
Fred shook her head and took a deep breath.
“Angel, if you don’t tell her that ya love her-”
Angel opened his mouth to protest but closed it again and sat on the edge of the bed with a defeated sigh.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“She thinks you’re gonna leave her.”
“Wha-?”
“Don’t play dumb. Ya keep talkin’ ‘bout Buffy. She thinks that you’re not happy and no matter what she does she can’t make things better.”
“I don’t where she- I mean, I am happy, obviously not in the perfect contentment because you know I’m not Angelus….oh god she called me cruel. I don’t mean to be cruel and I’m talking in one long run on sentence aren’t I?”
She smiled and nodded.
“Its just that…I thought that if I tried to think about Buffy more I’d feel the same way as I used too. And when that didn’t work I tried to push her away, I thought maybe if I put some distance between us it’d be easier to block what’s going on between us. I never wanted Cordy to hate me.”
“Both your little plans failed dismally. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
Angel didn’t answer.
“It’s a classic example. You thought if you distanced yourself from Cordelia you’d be able to remember how much your supposed to love Buffy. But it didn’t work because you can’t choose who you love.”
“I don’t lo- am I that transparent?”
Fred nodded with a small smile.
“What you said to her, that she should leave, you didn’t-?”
“No. I don’t want her to leave. I’m just…”
“Confused. And scared. And in very big trouble.”
“What am I gonna do? I think- I know I really hurt her.”
“I think I can help you with that.”

Wesley had simply been trying to find an extra quilt. He hadn’t meant to hear a argument between Angel and Cordelia and he hadn’t been ready to comfort a crying Cordelia.
But the snuffling noise coming from his friend showed she really needed a sympathetic ear.
“I thought- I thought he knew me better- than to think- think I’d ever hurt Connor or anyone of you. He’s the one- who abandons people that care about him.”
She dissolved into tears and Wesley pulled her into a hug.
“Cordelia, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”
“You didn’t hear him Wes. He was…poisonous. He said I should leave because I could-hurt Connor-or one of you…Maybe I should just go back to LA…”
“You most certainly are not…you are going to stay and have a great Christmas. And if he doesn’t like it, well then we can push him down a mountain.”
Cordelia giggled and wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve before Wesley handed her a handkerchief.
“Thanks Wes.”
“Anytime.”

Angel was going out of his mind.
There had been a stony silence between himself and Cordelia for the past two days and he was starting to panic.What if this time she couldn’t forgive him?
Today was Christmas Eve and he knew he was going to have to take drastic measures to show her how much she meant to him.
He paced the floor, walking around the coffee table again and again so much that Wesley and Gunn had given up on putting their feet up and had their legs stretched along the couch.
“If you don’t quit that you’re gonna burn a hole in the floor man.” Gunn said, bouncing a small bear up and down in front of a clapping, excited Connor.
Suddenly the door to the cabin swung open and a Cordelia and Fred walked in, arms linked and rosy cheeked, laughing loudly.
The laughter abruptly died when they saw the assembled group waiting for them.
“I’m going to bed. Night Fred, Gunn, Wes…”
She hung her coat up on the post at the bottom of the stairs and began to ascend them.
“Cordy…”
She froze at his voice but didn’t turn around.
“It’s Cordelia.”
Fred frowned. This wasn’t going according to plan.
She’d tried talking to her, tricking her, using emotional blackmail…it hadn’t worked.
If she didn’t manage to get them talking before they left the cabin…well, she didn’t like to think what could happen.
“Wes, Gunn…come on, we gotta show Connor that thing upstairs.”
Both men looked confused.
“What thing?”
“The THING in my room. You know the THING we’ve been talking about?”
They finally got the message and scooping the baby up they climbed the stairs.
“Cordelia…”
“No.”
Angel closed his mouth sharply. He wasn’t going to risk upsetting her more.
“You listen to me now. Contrary to what you may think, I am not a shallow little princess anymore. I have stuck by you when nobody else would have. I’ve warmed your blood and clothed you. I’ve looked after your son, took him to his check-up’s when you couldn’t…I don’t mind doing these things. In fact, I like it. I like being needed. But if you think that I’m just a complication or some warped link to Sunnydale or…a liability…then I won’t. You can do everything for yourself from now on.”
“No Cordelia, I need you.”
“See, I thought you did too. But I was obviously wrong. I mean, what you really need is blonde, short and violent…just in case your confused with your tramp sire or whatever she was, I mean Buffy.”
Angel closed his eyes and took a deep breath that he didn’t need. When he opened them again she was walking away shaking her head.
“I love you.”
He waited for her reaction.
Would she cry? Or smile and kiss him? Or maybe she’s-
She didn’t do anything of those things.
She laughed.

“You love me? Yeah, good one. Make poor pathetic Cordy think that she actually means something.”
“Listen to me. Just sit down. Please.”
She looked uncertain for a moment before sitting on the couch, the end farthest away from Angel, a scowl marring her pretty features.
“Fred said something to me a little while ago and it got me thinking-”
“Yeah, she’s kinda good at that.” Cordelia muttered, thinking about her own eye-opening conversation with Winnifred Burkle.
“She said that the only reason I kept talking about Sunnydale was because I was trying to recapture the way I used to feel…about Buffy. And the way I was talking to you was because I was trying to push you away.”
“Yeah, well you got that part down.”
“No, I didn’t.”
Angel slid along the couch, until his knee brushed hers.
“What?”
She fidgeted in her seat and tried to squirm away from him but he wouldn’t allow it, grabbing her hand and stopping her from picking holes in the expensive couch.
“I tried so hard to remember what I loved about Buffy. But it all went out the window when…when I thought about you.”
She snorted again.
“Yeah. I’m a Buffy antidote.”
Angel was beginning to loose his patience. He really didn’t think she had a clue what he was talking about.
He knelt in front of her and guided her chin up to look at him properly.
The firelight illuminated her skin beautifully and made the highlights in her hair stand out.
“You’re not an antidote to anything. I don’t know how, or why, or when…but you became the one person in this world that I know and that knows me. And I’ve – Cordelia I am in love with you. I love you so much that I can barely see straight. Everytime I see you holding Connor or laughing or….”
“Stop.”
She pushed his hands away and stood up, hurrying behind the couch.
“Nuh-uh. Nice try but its not gonna work. You think you can just wave a magic wand and make everything you said go away? Think again. You- you really hurt me Angel.”
“I’m sorry.”
She looked at him sceptically.
“I wish I could take it back so much. I don’t think you’re shallow, or a liability. I’m sorry I used Xander to get at you. I mean you know how much I dislike him. If you want me too, I’ll go…do something to him for hurting you…”
That earned him a small smile. But it didn’t reach her eyes and it was nothing compared to the sunny grin she usually gave him but it was a start.
“Cordelia, please. I’ll do anything to make what I said up too you.”
“Even buy me new clothes?”
“Gucci OK with you?” he pleaded.
She smiled and it thawed out the block of ice that had settled over his chest when he thought she might not forgive him, that he’d pushed her that little bit too far.
“I’m sorry too.” She murmered. “The whole Jenny thing…”
“I deserved it.”
“No you didn’t. I know how you feel about that and I played it for myself.”
“So are we friends?”
“Yes.”
“So back to what I was trying to tell you…I love you.”
She slapped his arm lightly.
“I love you too, you big doofus.”
“No I LOVE you.”
“Fine, I get that you’re sorry, you never meant to hurt me blah de blah blah. We’re fine. We’re friends. You don’t have to say all this.”
“Cordelia, I want to say it. I’m in love with you. Not friendship kinda love. Love.”
“No! I read about this in one of Wesley’s dating books-”
Angel raised an eyebrow but Cordelia ignored it, preferring to instead continue her speech.
“We’re very close…and we hug and everything. You were lacking in this until Buffy and then me so you’re confusing how you felt for her with how you feel for me.”
She started to back away from him as if physical distance would make a difference in the feelings flying out of his mouth.
“Cordelia…”
“Or perhaps your perceptions on emotions are off whack and you’re mistaking brotherly feelings for romantic feelings, cause we all know you haven’t had the most healthy emotional life…”
“I do not think of you as a sister Cordy. Do you see me as a brother?”
She started to edge towards the other end of the sofa as Angel tried to come around to her side.
“Well, no but that’s not the point…I’ve got it! Its transferrance!”
“What?”
“You can’t be with Buffy and I’m about her age, I knew her, we were both in Sunnydale at the same time, both have supernatural gifts…you’re just transferring your romantic feelings to me because I’m here, and available…its simple really, I mean how I didn’t notice it before, see the friends line started to blur and I thought mmmmpfff!”
While she’d been in the middle of her explanation, Angel had pulled the couch out of his way, and kissed her hard.
“Got-to-breathe.”
He pulled away.
“This is not confusion, or brotherly love or transferrance …I’m in love with you Cordelia.”
She stood breathing heavily.
“Oh my god.”
“Kinda my first thought too.”
“Jesus…”
“Him too.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, but Cordy…”
“Man…”
“Cordelia!”
She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at him.
“And you’re sure about…this?”
He nodded.
“OK.”
She smiled softly and walked towards him…
Wait a minute, he thought, shouldn’t she be heading for me not the stairs?
“Where are you going?”
“Upstairs.”
“Um, aren’t you forgetting something?”
“What?”
“To say…you love me too.”
He was doing the puppy expression he knew but he couldn’t help it. He’d just laid bare his emotions and she was leaving him hanging about how she felt.
“Oh. That.”
For one awful moment he thought she was going to carry on walking.
“I love you too.”
Cue a goofy smile from Angel. Until she turned away and started up the stairs again.
“Where are you going now?”
She turned slightly and smirked at him.
“Your room? You coming?”

“I don’t get what we’re listening for Fred…”
“Charles, have you learned nothing? I’m waiting for either two door slams which means they’ve gone into two separate rooms, one door slam means they’re both in the same room and no door slams means that they’re having wild sex on the rug in front of the fire.”
Wesley who was hovering near the door looked up alarmed.
“Then we have to go downstairs and stop them! The curse, Angelus…”
Gunn started to babble too and Connor, not used to such activity around him started to make as much noise as he could.
The shrill whistle from Fred quieted them all, even the baby who looked with wonder upon the Texan.
“Angel’s curse works with perfect happiness.”
Wesley nodded,waiting for her to continue.
She looked at him blankly.
“Why are you looking at me?”
“You were saying that his curse works with perfect happiness and…”
“And nothing. Don’t you get it?”
Both men shook their heads.
Fred looked at the little boy on the floor next to her.
“Dumb grown ups.”
She sighed and addressed Wesley and Gunn as if she were talking to a child.
“How can he ever have perfect happiness again when he knows the price?”
Gunn and Wesley looked at each other.
“So you mean that Barbie and Action Man down there could get it on with no risk of Angelus?”
“Astounding…”
“Well, that’s makes the most sense. And after I told Cordelia-”
“You told her?”
“Well yeah. I thought it might be important.”
Gunn dropped to the floor next to Connor and picked up a brightly coloured rattle and started to shake it while Wesley settled himself into the armchair in the corner with a large leather bound book.
“I like ya both but shouldn’t ya be going back to your own rooms?”
Gunn chuckled.
“Girl, I ain’t going out there. I don’t know what I might find!”
“Quite. I don’t think I’m quite ready for…well.”
Wesley blushed and cleared his throat.
Fred steeled herself and opened the door to her room, stepping out so she could see down the stairs and into the living room.
And then promptly shut it.
“Um…they didn’t make it upstairs. And they’re not downstairs either.”
“Reckon they went alfresco?”
“Well, I guess we can go to our rooms.”
“Yeah.”
“After you Gunn.”
“No, age before beauty Wes.”
Fred grabbed both by the ear and dragged them outside.
“Hey!”
“Fred!”
“Out!”
The two glared at each other.
“That was you!”
“She only made us leave because you were rattling that damn toy!”
“Um, excuse me? Can’t a girl get some quality make out time with her boyfriend without interruption?”
Both Wesley and Gunn turned to face the sound of the angry voice.
Cordelia was standing hands on hips with Angel’s arm around her shoulder, her shirt half unbuttoned.
A picture frame behind her was wonky and Angel was tugging on her hand, trying to urge her up the stairs.
“Um, of course.”
“Jus’ leaving.”
As they passed the couple, Wesley just couldn’t resist.
“Nice shade of lipstick Angel.”