Title: Love and Fiendship
Author: LadyJubilee
Posted: 08-07-2002
Rating: NC17
Email: virtualmistress@hotmail.com
Content: C/A mainly, some F/G and some G/W and Gr/L
Summary: There’s a problem at the demon brothel…who ya’ gonna call?
Spoilers: Through Couplet
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Do whatever you want with it.
Notes: Started it, then saw Luckylyn’s challenge #2 and it kind of fits….though being me, couldn’t stick with the rules, sooooo:
2) The Angel and Cordy marriage challenge. Angel and Cordy are forced to pretend to be a happily married couple for a case. They are being monitored (how and why is up to you) and so they must keep up the pretense of a marriage even when alone.
a) This fic takes place after Waiting in the Wings but before Couplet.
I started with the last scene in Couplet.
b) This takes place in a universe where a client in desperate need instead of Groo shows up at the end of Waiting in the wings
Have Groo and client.
c) A/C shippiness R rated romance.
I see it as more NC17….but then my NC17 is pretty R .
d) At least two people from Sunnydale show up.
Yep
e) Caritas has been rebuilt
Yep
Part 1
“Anita, we’ve got another one,” a dark haired woman dressed in rose baby doll peignoir announced as she strolled into the elegantly appointed office. She leaned casually against the white doorsill, displaying her breasts to advantage when a red scaled demon and a human female walked past her through the dark hallway. She spoke to the room’s only occupant, an equally elegant woman attired in a gold evening gown. The woman was seated on a hand carved mahogany chair behind its matching hand craved mahogany desk. Everything about the woman and the room spoke of elegance and quality, which some might find it ironic given the business transacted in that particular establishment. But then the owner loved her little luxuries and little ironies.
“When?” the woman inquired, almost absently. Even as she processed the latest news, her mind focused on a different puzzle.
The baby doll’s top slipped lower at the woman’s shrug, revealing a perky nipple. “About an hour ago. Shana left them in the dungeon, when she came back, they were gone.”
That caught Anita’s full attention. Carelessness was bad for business. “She left them alone, with him tied up?” The dark haired woman nodded. “Tell her to meet me in the dungeon.” The woman left to find Shana, eager to watch the fireworks. Leaving a bound client alone, even with a third party present, was against the rules and it looked like Shana was going to be nailed for breaking that rule and for letting paying clients disappear.
Alone for the moment, Anita considered. This was the fourth couple in a month to disappear and if that information got out, it could be bad for business. Certainly their establishment had its share of deadbeats, men and woman who preferred to abscond without paying the bill after enjoying the services, but these weren’t the same kind of disappearances. Lately clients disappeared into thin air, leaving only empty sheets or handcuffs in their wake. She and her staff had searched for an explanation, yet found nothing, despite the various demon abilities they shared. Given the nature of the business, being both illegal and demonic, she couldn’t just dial 911 and report the problem, no matter how many police officers were on the premises at a given moment.
Perhaps she could resolve two puzzles at once, she considered, her thoughts returning to an earlier conversation. Just that night she’d encountered another mystery, one that intrigued her. Why would a man come to a brothel to obtain a sex aid for another man to use with a woman? Especially when that man was obviously embarrassed by the errand? When she’d asked that question, he’d refused to answer, piquing her curiosity.
She opened her top drawer and retrieved a business card. Where another might have flicked the card while she thought, Anita, who had learned stillness and patience on the job, merely gazed impassively at the black script and logo before reaching a decision. She reached for the antique wood phone on her desk and dialed the number for Angel Investigations.
In the lobby of the Hyperion Hotel Angel took Cordelia’s hand in one of his and placed a large roll of money in it before closing her finger’s over the cash. They stood near the counter, while the Groosalaug hovered at the top of the stairs. Wesley, Gunn and Fred were in Wesley’s office. He felt more alone in that moment than he had in years even with the presence of his friends. Despite the way it felt, he knew he was doing the right thing.
“What’s this?” she asked.
He looked away, unable to look her in the eye, and shrugged, trying to make light of the gift. “Just some money I saved up.” He hoped she’d take that answer and go.
Instead, scrunching her eyebrows in confusion, she asked, “Why? What for?”
The phone rang and in the back ground he heard Wesley’s voice saying, “Angel Investigations, we help the helpless.”
“I did something…” he began, only to be interrupted by Wesley.
“Angel, there’s an Anita on the phone, she says she needs to speak with you and Cordelia,” the English man called as he walked from his office into the lobby.
“Take a number,” Angel answered back. He had to do this, it was the right thing. Cordelia deserved a little sunshine in her life, and since he was allergic he couldn’t share that life. “Cordy, I want to do…”
“Do you think it’s the potion?” she asked, reaching out to clutch his hand in agitation. “I can’t you-know if I could lose the visions.”
He tried to jump onto her thread of logic, but couldn’t. He needed to say good bye now, while he could do. “I’m sure that’s not it. You go with…”
“Angel, she says it’s urgent and that she can only talk to you and your ‘princess’,” Wesley again interrupted.
Shoulders slumped, despite the lingering ache around the hole in his chest, Angel conceded. Nobility sucked anyway. He took the phone. “This is Angel and to reiterate he’s not the princess either….now?...that much?...I’m sure we could work something out. My associates Pryce and Gunn….No?...But…Ok….and…no, I understand. We’re very discreet…Ok.” He leaned over the counter, suddenly very tired. “We’ve got a case, paying client.”
“Paying?” Cordelia clarified, excited by the prospect and oddly relieved. Why she should be relieved when she had a night of com and shuk planned she wasn’t quite sure, yet she felt as if a weight had been lifted. She glanced back, though with a body like that….then looked at Angel…and with a body like that. She nearly growled. She worked and lived with five of the sexiest men in LA, ok two-it was hard to see Wesley as sexy after all these years, she couldn’t actually “see” Denis and what she could see of Lorne was all green-- and the only thing she’d shucked in years was an ear of corn for an ADM commercial audition. She hadn’t got that either.
On the stairs, Groo frowned. “Princess?” he called to reclaim her attention.
Without turning Cordy waved “down” at him too keyed up at the thought of a paying client to worry about niceties. “What kind of client…..and how much paying?”
“She said she’d tell us about it when we get there and $25000.” Angel stared at the phone in his hand, thinking he’d already returned it to its cradle. With a mental shake, it dropped the receiver into place. “She wants to see you, wouldn’t say why.” He looked down a torn shirt, thinking about all the women lounging in the halls of the brothel. “I better change. Gunn, Fred, are you up to it, or do you want to…”
“I’m cool,” Gunn answered, though he appeared to be distracted. He slumped into one of the red loveseats.
Fred ran her fingers through her hair which was tangled after a long evening of being enbranched and shrugged. Her movement caused a twig to fall from her shoulder. “I’ve never been to a brothel before.”
“Princess,” Groo called again, his voice both more hesitant and more insistent.
Cordelia turned to face him, “In a minute. So we’re on a case with a paying client. Paying!” She grinned in triumph.
“I can’t believe you brought the baby to a brothel,” Gunn grumbled. It was almost dawn and as he’d been up since dawn yesterday he felt more than a little cranky. The fact he was walking into a brothel with Fred had nothing at all to do with his mood, none at all. Though, he thought, it just wasn’t right. Fred was too special, too innocent for a place like this…and for the ideas a place like this gave him.
Angel patted Connor’s back, settling the baby back to sleep after the move from car seat to daddy’s arms woke him. “Wesley had to go out and I couldn’t ask Lorne to watch him. He had work to do at Caritas.”
“Groo would have kept an eye on him,” Cordelia offered. She knocked on the front door.
“With those eyes?” Angel shuddered, and sheltered Connor deeper in his arms. “Could scar the kid for life.” He looked down into this son’s face and was again caught by the marvel that was his child. Super strong, manly vampire that he was, he admitted, “Besides, we’ve never spent a night apart.” He just didn’t look his friends in the eye when he said it.
Cordelia rolled her eyes, and slipping her hand under his elbow said, “Come on papa bear.”
“I just lost the whole ‘cool’ thing, didn’t I?”
“Just traded it for the ‘dependable family man’ thing. Women love that,” Cordy assured him before turning back as the door opened. “Just don’t mention the sucks blood, turns evil and dates blonde thing. That really turns women off.”
“Welcome,” announced a very handsome man dressed, or undressed, in dog collar and a delicately tied pink bow. He step back to admit the group, his movement setting the bow a-bounce.
Cordelia’s eyes rounded, “Nice package.” She glanced behind her. She meant to watch her friends’ reactions, but realized she’d glanced, and become stuck, just a bit below eye level on a friend in particular. She’d seen perky and had the instance image of perky with a bow. Her eyes widened even more. Oh, yeah, she thought, swallowing. Her head turned back the young man and his dog collar then she turned back to Angel. She felt the rhythm of her heart beat quicken.
Angel’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, a habit he’d picked up from a friend. If he didn’t know better, he would have sworn Cordelia was staring at his neck. If Darla had looked at him like that….well, Darla had looked at him like that and just see where it got him. He adjusted Connor, supporting the baby in crook of one arm, and brushed at his neck, searching for missed tree sappy demon goo. A wave of embarrassment threatened to flush his pale features. What if he had ring around the collar? A vampire with ring around the collar, that would just a crap day even crappier.
“Yo, Cordy, you OK,” Gunn asked when Cordelia continued to stand in the doorway. He did a double take when her tongue darted out to lick her lips. Hands up, he stepped back and turned to Fred. Then he froze. Fred, his sweet Fred, licked her lips…while staring at his crouch.
“You guys coming?” bow-man prompted gesturing, with his hand-not his bow, for them to enter.
Cordy nodded without taking her eyes away. “Oh, yeah. Some of us are definitely coming,” she slipped as a warm tremor flowed along her body. “Wo…What…” she turned red as she realized what she’d said, and when she realized that Angel had realized just what she was looking at. A huge grin broke out over his face. “Just give me the baby,” she ordered before storming into the brothel. Damn, what good was a vampire with a curse thingy when you needed to com-shuck?
“He’s so cute,” one of the women cooed, taking Connor from Cordelia’s arms, without asking. The sight of tall amazon built woman in a black leather crouchless cat suit making baby noises to the infant stunned even Cordelia Chase into silence. That silence was prolonged by the sight of the human and demon menagerie that formed around the very odd couple. Men ,women and she-wasn’t-quite-sures in a range of lingerie and high heels crowded in to inspect and adore the baby.
He ate it up, Cordelia noticed. “Angel,” she tried to draw his attention. “ANGEL!” she tried again. Finally, he spared her a glance. “Who are we supposed to be meeting? Remember, client, paying?”
Smiling bundle in arm, a thin black man in an Egyptian kilt approached. “He looks just like you,” he told Cordelia, shifting Connor so that everyone could see the family resemblance. “He’s just the mirror image,” he began before noticing how Angel bristled at being left out. “And look at that, he’s got his daddy’s brow. Don’t you, you sweet little boy.”
Caught between pleasure and pride and the need to be truthful, Cordelia said, a little forcelessly, “I’m not the…”
“Course your not,” finished a heavy set woman in Victorian dress. “She’s obviously the mother,” the woman went on to declare, pointing a fringed leather strap at Fred.
Fred backed up, shaking her head.
“Obviously, you are not the mother,” Anita told Gunn as she emerged from the shadows in the hallway. “I am Anita, and this is my establishment. You are?”
“Taken,” Fred informed the woman, staking her claim. Well, not staking actually, because, well, she really liked Gunn and besides stakes are for vampires….but if she caught him looking at another woman she might have to reconsider.
Gunn grinned, pleased with Fred’s show of possessiveness. Having been alone for so long, he kind of liked belonging to someone. “Gunn, Charles Gunn. This is Fred.”
Anita made her way around the couple, smiling gently at their new found affection. She treasured that sweet time at the beginning of a relationship when each emotion, each feeling and expression unleashed the joy of discovery. She paused as she neared the next couple.
“And you must be the princess,” she suggested to the woman. These two were different. In place of a giddy excitement, these two radiated a confidence born of trial and testing. She watched as they exchanged questions and answers through a glance, the subtle lift of an eyebrow and almost imperceptible shift of the body.
“Only in Pylea,” Cordelia quipped to cover just how disconcerted she felt under the woman’s appraisal. Every feminine instinct she possessed warned that this woman could lay bear every secret desire hidden in the Cordelia Chase Delusional Archive.
“You would be surprised, princess,” came the enigmatic answer. “If you’ll join me in my office.” She directed her employees to return the baby. She noticed all four of her visitors checked to ensure the baby was settled safely in his father’s arms. Even more interesting, she thought, than a vampire having a son. After sharing a smile over the group’s dedication to the infant with her own family, she guided them down the hall.
Part 2
The sex business must be booming, Cordelia decided when she entered Anita’s office. Or at least it paid more than saving the world from murderous fiends. She dropped into an open chair, automatically holding her arms open to receive Connor. But then even flipping burgers at MacDonald’s paid more, as the “economies” she’d had to make with her wardrobe proved. Her indignant sniff jostled the baby into a grumpy gurgle.
Daddy, who unlike Fred and Gunn preferred to stand, reached over Cordelia’s shoulder to adjust the baby blanket.
“Thank you for coming,” Anita began as she took her seat. “You probably want to get the baby home as soon as possible,” who brought a baby to a brothel? “so I’ll come straight to the point. Over the last month, four couples have disappeared from this establishment.”
The group shared a look. Having experienced customers who disappeared pre-payment, none of them could see how they were to correct the problem. “Yeah, dead beat clients,” Gunn voiced their thoughts.
Anita leaned forward, linking her fingers on the desk. “You misunderstand,” she corrected even as she studied their body language. The one called Fred sat towards the edge of her chair, her back straight and feet firmly planted. Nervous energy seemed to flow from her thin frame. Anita tilted her head as she sought greater understanding. Not nervous, she decided, but eager, anxious to experience and explore. Her boyfriend, in contrasted, claimed the entire chair, laying possession to it and the space around it. He was nervous, she recognized, and more. His eyes repeatedly returned to Fred and each time a shadowed crept into their depths before his eyes moved on to canvass the room.
“At least two of the couples have frequented our placed for many years.” She shifted her attention to the couple and baby. These two gave mixed signals. They settled close to each other, suggesting intimacy, but showed none of the signs lovers displayed. Too, she had to consider the other man’s role in the woman’s life. It was a puzzle she hoped to solve before this was over. “And at least one couple paid the full fee in advance.”
“Only couples?” inquired Angel.
Pleased with his progress, Anita nodded. Perhaps Angel Investigations had more going for it than all the pretty faces. Each of her visitors had potential, if they could be convinced to try her line of work.
Perhaps not, she decided when the vampire re-adjusted the baby blanket….to block her view of Cordelia's cleavage.
“Not just couples, but married couples, and I believe they each had children. All of them have used our facilities several times during the past week. Other than that, I know of no common denominators. None of my employees heard or saw anything out of the ordinary.” At Cordelia’s “pfft” she clarified, “Out of the ordinary considering who we are and what we do.” She pinned the vampire and the princess with her gaze. “As investigators, I’m sure you’ve done under covers work.” She smiled at her little entendre. “I can ensure it will be worth you while.”
Fred and Gunn looked at Cordelia and Angel. Cordelia and Angel were completely blank.
“I think she means you two,” Gunn prompted, sharing an eye roll with Fred. For a smart woman and a smart vampire, they could be clueless.
Cordelia and Angel shared a look. Angel voiced their question. “What?”
“She wants you to pretend to be married and to…” Fred swirled her hands.
“To….?” Cordy looked around. “Oh.”
Looking around Angel tried to pretend a little voice inside hadn’t just gone, “woooohoooo, yes!” All in the name of the mission, of course.
Anita pressed a buzzer located near the desk phone and the door opened. A quilled demon in a lavender breast-less evening gown came into her room. A nail pierced her left nipple.
“This is Shana. She was attending the Harrises when they disappeared.” In a stern voice she ordered, “Shana, take them to the dungeon and show them around. And, Shana, try not to lose them.” Suddenly, the temptation was too great. With uncharacteristic shyness she asked, “May I hold him?”
The dungeon lived up, rather down, to its name. Dark, filled with “torture devices” and complete with cages, it was a joke as far as Angel was concerned. Pfffft, been there, done that, ate the t-shirt salesman….being evil was so passé.
Angel saw Gunn move towards a table filled with metal implements. “Uhhhh….” Oh, oh. How did a guy tell another guy….. From the corner of his eye, he saw Shana grin. "Gunn..."
Gunn reached the tray and picked up a thin metal rod that ended in a small bulb. He held it at eye level, examining the implement’s shape. “What’s this?” He mimed inserting it into his nose, adding a quick in and out flourish. “Nose probe, right?” he laughed. “Nasty”.
“Uh, Gunn.” Angel crossed the room and pushed Gunn’s wrist back towards the tray, to have the man release the rod. Furtively he judged the distance between them and Cordelia and Fred. Hoping they couldn't hear, he whispered, “That’s not what that’s for.” Cordelia’s eyebrows rose in inquiry. He whispered in Gunn’s ear. “It goes…” He rolled his eyes down. Gunn lifted his hands and gave a quick head shake. Angel offered two quick eye rolls down.
“It goes in a woman’s…?! Oh. Sorry,” Cordy finished even as the echo of her yelled question bounced between the walls.
Shana smiled and winkled at Angel. “Sometimes.” She allowed them to consider the options. “They’re called urethral sounds. Some men really enjoy the sensation.” She approached Angel, circling him before tapping the leather tip of her crop on his chest. “Or so I’m told.”
Gunn dropped the implement, compulsively wiping his hands on his pants. “I have got to stop touching things.”
“I’ve never…”Angel denied, backing away. He’d withstood torture at the hands some of the most vile and evil demons of history, but none of those had been as scary as what lay on that tray.
“This goes in a man’s….” Fred almost pushed Angel and Gunn out of the way to reach the tools. She picked one up and started to study its construction. “How do you get it to…” she mimicked Gunn’s earlier action as she asked Shana the question. Both men stepped away and covered their packages.
Gunn mouthed a pained “ooooohhh.”
“Baby, put that down,” he suggested. At her curious look he felt he had to say, “Not happening.”
Shana just laughed. “Come on. Anita said you wanted to see where I left them.” She approached a large freestanding X frame. A suspension cuffs dangled from the brackets. “I just left them for a minute. I had to pee, and if I didn’t get something to drink I’d never be able to do it.” She touched the nail embedded in her nipple. “I swear it wasn’t more than a minute.” She pointed a toilet seat suspended at waist height from the wall. “I was all ready, but they were gone.”
The team moved in to investigate, but didn’t touch. Gunn even locked his fingers behind his back. “Nothing,” he declared after little more than a glance. Clue or no clue, he didn’t want to hang around the dungeon. He’d much rather be in a vamp nest.
Cordelia agreed. She had too much on her mind to do the clue thing. As of now she and Angel were "married", and starting the next evening they would have act married...in a brothel. She leanned back against a cage, crossing her arms. What was she going to say to Groo?
A squeal pierced the calm of the dungeon. “Cordelia!” a blur of blonde screeched as it launched at Cordelia then enveloped the brunette. “I can’t believe you got married. Why didn’t you call me, I thought I would have been your bridesmaid. Who’d you marry? Oh-mi-gosh, I can’t believe it, it’s been so long. I was like so totally worried you might hook up with that Angel-guy. Totally creepy, the way he used to stalk the Slayer. I mean, over two hundred years old and…”
Cordelia struggled to break free of the embrace. “Harmony?”
“he was dating a teenager? I mean, what’s with that? Perv-o much. Not that he’s a bad guy, I mean he is like my great grand dad….but eeeeeewwww. You’re two hundred years old, you so shouldn’t be at the Prom,” the blonde continued, completely unaware of Cordelia’s attempts to un-hug.
“Harmony.”
The diatribe stopped and Harmony froze. “Oh, hi, Angel.” She gave a nervous little twitter. “Wow, so….” She looked at Angel. She looked at Cordelia. “So, you two, you’re like married. Wow…so, um, yeah, wow.” She offered a smile, despite the it contorted her face into a grimace
“Old friend of Cordelia’s,” Gunn advised Fred. “She’s a vampire.”
Fred whispered back, “Lot of that going around.” She watched in amazement as the feminine vampire snuck in one more hug.
“And was told not to come back to LA,” Cordelia continued with a stomp on Harmony’s instep. “What are you doing here?”
Faux pas forgotten Harmony bounced excitedly and clapped her hands. “Oh, its so faboo. I work here, like a career and everything. I have apitoad.” She nodded to assure them of the truth. “I bite people…and I get paid! I mean like wow-and I don’t have to be all evil or anything, cause I really suck at evil. You’re friend was so right. I just had to follow you and I’d find my path. So here I am.” Confidentially, she told Cordelia, “You would not believe how much I make.”
The light of an idea filled her eyes. “Hey, it would be so fabulous—you could work here too. All you have to do is let me….” She stopped as a predatory growl emanated from the male vampire. “Ok, well, it’s been fab…uh, I’ll just” she pointed towards the doorway. “Yeah.” She backed away and retreated through the door.
“Are there any normal people in Sunnydale?” Gunn wanted to know.
Part 3
Out during the day, and sheltered under a blanket, Angel adjusted the baby carrier. Being the son of a vampire, Connor spent most of his time out of the sun, something that worried Angel. Some of the baby books said sunlight helped humans process vitamins. “Too much or not enough?” he asked.
Wesley watched the baby swing in the carrier as Angel tried to adjust the baby’s covering, without uncovering himself. The vampire yelped as a careless move resulted in his fingers being singed. “Enough…I think,” the English man answered, his tone bemused. He led Angel from the car towards a building. Letters over the door proclaimed, “Manny’s Manuscripts” in a delicate scroll which contrasted with the building’s drab industrial design. “This is it. You didn’t have to come, you know.”
Angel shrugged. “I told you, I want to be involved, to know everything.” Want to get away from Cordelia before she realizes what being “married” was going to mean. Drawing Connor back under the blanket, he added, “I wanted to go outside with him some, anyway. Get some sun…owwww…”
Wesley’s eyebrows rose. “Perhaps not that much sun,” he suggested, “you are still a vampire.”
Duh, Angel thought, like he hadn’t noticed. “So you think they’ll have any information?”
Reaching for the door handle, Wesley started to answer. The door swung open.
“The miracle child!” squealed a woman and echoing calls of adoration heralded a flood of flower bedecked worshippers who crowded around Angel and the baby. As if on queue, the crowd broke into chant.
“At a guess, yes,” Wesley finished.
Cordelia shuffled papers at Wesley’s desk, an act integral to her filing system. She adjusted a few pages then dropped them into a manila folder before turning the next stack. Oddly, married Cordy felt rather like single Cordy. She sighed, so much for all those secret romantic fantasies that she’d been harboring. But on the upside given that she’d be spending the night in a brothel with Angel, maybe those other fantasies would pan out better. Briefly she glanced up. The Groosalaug still watched her, his devotion filled eyes had strayed not once during the last hour. It was creepy. No wonder Angel didn’t want him watching Connor. She offered a bright smile, a smile her friends would have thought hollow, and looked back down at her work.
Skech demons, yuck, she thought, all that phlegm and ickiness. Maybe they should let Connor handle this one. Little guy could spit one up with the best of ‘em. Plus it’d be good for him started in the family business. Cordy nodded to herself, child labor laws couldn’t be that tough.
“Princess?” Groo questioned softly.
“Yeah, Groo?” He really was sweet, and handsome. The demon thing, well, just about everyone she knew was a demon of some form or other. Plus, most of the humans she knew didn’t have his heart….and most humans didn’t have that hair, that face or that body.
Groo leaned forward for his knees. “You seem troubled. Is it your mission with Angel?”
Cordy opted for honesty. She nodded. “Sheck demons. They’re just so nasty. I mean, ewww, and you would not believe the dry cleaning bill.”
“That is not what I mean, princess,” Groo corrected, only a slight tinge in his voice revealed his frustration. At times his princess could be less than transparent and did not always allow him to be the warrior she needed. “This assignment where you tell others you are wed.”
Cordy nodded again, not really listening. “Well, Angel will just have to pay my dry cleaning bill if I have to go with him. You were saying…?” She finally looked up…
….and it struck her. “Oh, my God!” she screamed.
“Princess,” Groo inquired as he stood and moved closer to the desk, “what troubles you?”
Cordelia’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hands. She slid her hands over her face to thread through her hair. She gripped at her hair. “I’m in love.”
“This I know,” assured Groo as he reassumed his seat. A broad smiled covered his face. “You have declared your love for the Groosalaug many times.”
With her fingers still locked in the hair at the base of her neck Cordelia shifted to scowl at the warrior. “Not you, dumb ass. Him, I’m in love with him.” She pointed over the Groosalaug’s shoulder.
Angel froze. His mouth dropped open in surprise. In slow motion he pointed at himself.
“I’m in love with him,” Cordelia said again, this time leaving her desk to approach. She felt she had to say it again. It was just too weird to be true.
Wesley dropped the books on the desk. “Yes, we all know, Cordelia.”
“Me?” Angel wanted to clarify, afraid this was one of those dreams he’d been having. Then he remembered he was suave vampire guy. “Oh, yeah, me.” He stood a little straighter. “I knew that. I’ve known for a long time,” he added for good measure.
He opened his arms as Cordelia approached, finally ready to declare is undying—er, unliving, um, love that lasted a really long time.
Cordelia ran towards him…
….to kick him in the shin.
“Owww. Why’d you do that?” he demanded, rubbing the spot that would have bruised, if he hadn’t been dead and all.
Cordelia put her hands on her hips and demanded in, she thought, a very calm voice, “You knew and you didn’t tell me!”
Cordelia could be a bit cranky, and a bit loud. Wesley tried to help. “We all knew.” He decided to be even more helpful. “He loves you too.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Cordy argued. “He loves Buffy.”
“I….”
“I assure you, he does,” Wesley responded. Suddenly he felt more than a little frustrated. How could women not know. How could they not see it when a guy loved them, valued them, respected the way their minds worked? His eyes flicked to Groo. How could they pick the first muscle bound laug that came along….and not see the man who take care of her and share her love of research and…..
“No, he doesn’t. Remember, vampire guy stalking the high school. Remember the whole blonde thing,” Cordy stressed. She didn’t see why Wesley was being like this. Or why Angel kept shifting his feet. If he wasn’t careful he’d drop the baby.
Wesley looked away. “Yes, well, I agree the whole high school thing was a bit…”
“Oh, like you have room to talk.” Cordy snorted. “What was it with you old guys and Sunnydale High.”
Immediately defensive Wesley stood completely straight and looked down his nose at Cordelia. “I never,” he denied, “went out with……” Cordelia just stared at him. “Um, yes, I see your point.”
Angel decided to enter the fray. “Hey, look at the time,” he announced. Cordelia and Wesley just stared at him. Perhaps not the distraction he was looking for. “We’re on a case.” He pointed at his watch. “Help the helpless. Battle evil,” he added weakly.
“Royal comshuck,” grumbled the Grooslaug.
“Oh, yeah.” Angel smiled. As of tonight, he was Angel Chase, consort to the Princess….and he liked it. Who was the brave and undefeated now? He wanted to ask, but a feminine snort stopped him just in time. There were too many whips in the brothel for him to say what he was thinking.
The car started forward when the light turned green. “So, you’re in love with me,” Angel purred with the motor. The snort from the passenger seat did not bode well. “That’s good. I mean since we’re married and all.” He watched her eyes roll. “I mean, uh, a husband and wife, they’re supposed to, you know, love each other.” That was greeted with a pffft. “I do….you know…” He turned the steering wheel and the tires squealed as he turned right. He began again. “We…we’ve known it other a long time….”
”And suddenly you’re in love with me, yeah got it.” Cordy watched the nightlife of LA roll by. “So, we’re going to convince everyone that we’re married, and to do that we have to make out.” She spotted a drug store ahead. “You’ve got the condoms, right? I mean, cause you’re record’s not exactly great. Boff Buffy and we get Angelus, boff Darla and we have Connor….I, for one, am not looking to increase the family. Hello, cast bloat.”
“Cordy….” He slowed the car and pulled into the drug store parking lot. “You’re nervous…”
“Ugh, yeah. Last time I had sex, I woke up eight months pregnant. Then that, that demon thing tongued me, and I ended up with its spawn in the back of my head. So much for oral sex….you’re getting the condoms, demon boy.” She waited for him to get out of the car then turned her back on him.
So much for his night of passion. Angel’s shoulders fell as he made his way into the store. He walked to the back of the shop where the three teenage boys hovered near the condom stand. They all pretended to be anywhere else, doing anything else, while surreptitiously reaching for the boxes hanging on the stand. Being two hundred and some odd years old, and way more mature, Angel walked confidently to the stand, and used his vampire speed to snag a box before anyone noticed.
Several people stood near the check out counter, several held their hands in the air while the salesgirl took handfuls of money from the cash register. As if in response the situation, Angel’s coat began to billow in the non-existent wind. He strode around the corner, his stride purposeful, powerful and confronted the man holding a shotgun on the people. In a single motion he pushed the barrel up, away from the crowed, sideways and back against the thief’s throat.
Angel backed the man up against a wall and allowed his game face freedom. “I haven’t had sex in over a year. You’ll forgive me if I’m a little cranky because I finally get to have sex with the woman I love, and some asshole holds up the shop where I stop in for condoms.” For good measure, he hissed.
In disgust Angel dropped the man at the sight and smell of the thief pissing his pants. A single punch knocked the guy out.
Satisfied, Angel turned to the salesgirl and held up the box. “Can I have the hero discount on these?” A little embarrassment was worth a $1 off.
The night was looking up. Beat up a bad guy, saved money and going to have sex with Cordy.
Part 4
Hebbie perched on the edge of a cushioned love-seat. Around him beautiful men and women reclined and paraded around the guest lounge, offering their wares to the men and women who came seeking service. They flirted and teased in an attempt entice just a few more dollars here and there. Herbie squinted at the display, his tired old eyes a little worse for several thousand years of desiccation and decay.
Yet even his eyes could see the quick head nod in his direction aimed at a cute young blonde. The signal from her employer to use her wares on him. Herbie sighed. He really hated this part, hated having some young thing, not even a tenth his age come on to him. He shuddered as the blonde caught his eye, offered what he could only guess was supposed to be a “come hither look” and pranced in his direction.
“Hi,” she giggled and “accidentally” brushed against his leg as she bounced onto the love seat beside him. “I’m Harmony, who are you?” She giggled again, seemly pleased with herself.
Another sigh rose. “Herbie,” he answered, knowing she’d laugh again. It was a silly name, but by the time they’d discovered him, the cartouche bearing his name had either been worn or scratched away. Still, he offered thanks to the gods every day that he’d been found by a Victorian with a sense of humour. While “Herbie” might not sound as inspiring as Wahankh or Menmaatre, he preferred it to #1357-432-01.0, the appellation of a friend given by 21st century professionals. He turned as the woman sniffed loudly, to find her face twisted into a mask of…..something.
Harmony smiled disarmingly, scooting to allow just a bit more distance between her and her client. She hoped she didn’t have to bite this one; she did have standards after all. The guy might look like a fresh tasty human, but he smell like something from the back of the refrigerator—a refrigerator she hadn’t opened since graduation. Maybe she’d get lucky and he’d just want sex. She drew her leg up onto the couch, rubbing her foot along his leg as she did so. He didn’t respond. So much for her hopes of a foot fetish.
Herbie ignored the blonde’s displays, knowing she would perform with or without encouragement once he opened his wallet. For the moment Anita drew his attention. She moved through the throng of customers and courtesans to the doorway, where she greeted a tall man and very attractive woman. Another courtesan, he decided, though she had not dressed the part. He watched the madam negotiate with the man and the man’s face fill with disappointment. The woman rocked back and forth, either bored or nervous.
“Oooooh, they’re here,” the blonde called, her bounce rocking the couch. “I knew they’d be back.” She leaned over to confided, sniffed and drew back. “It’s so sweet, they just got married, even have a baby, not that they let me see the baby.” Sniff. “Like I’d bite or something.”
Finally, the blonde had said something interesting.
Angel’s face fell in disappointment. He had the evening planned, a little wine, a happy pillow fight, and finally get to tell Cordelia about his newly realized feelings. Only things weren’t going as planned.
He asked again. “We couldn’t use…”
“I’m sorry, no,” Anita reiterated. “That room has been booked for the night. However, we have another room you and your wife,” she emphasized the last word, “might enjoy. Many couples,” again she stressed the words, “have used this room and its facilities.”
He got it, he might not want it, but he got it. They were on a case, and if the missing couples had used the room then he and Cordelia had to as well. “But we could book the room for tomorrow night?” They were going to use that room.
Cordy looked at him as if he had lost his mind. “What’s the diff?”
Anita smiled. There was a huge “diff”, but the princess would have to discover that for herself. “Tomorrow night may be arranged. Now if you’ll just follow Dedi.” She introduced a tall woman in white.
The woman smiled a greeting before leading them towards the back of the house.
“You’re sure the curse thingy won’t happen, right?” Cordelia tried to clarify as she followed. “I..”
Dedi interrupted, “This is for you.” She handed Angel a small bottle filled with pink liquid. “I believe you have yours, princess.”
“Is that to…?” Cordelia trailed off as the stopped in front of a door. “I didn’t bring anything.” Dedi handed her a small blue bottle. “Gee, thanks.” So much for that excuse.
Dedi opened the door. Cordelia and Angel both gasped. “The benefits of demon magic,” their hostess explained. “The portal remains open, allowing passage into and out of the temple.”
Temple comprised a huge torch lit room decorated with walls painted with Egyptian designs. Benches, chair and settees were dotted around the vast expanse while a tapestry draped bed occupied the center of the room.
For once, Cordelia was speechless. “It’s real?” Dedi nodded. “No hot pokers, right?” Dimensional travel always seemed to have draw backs.
“Its perfectly safe,” the tall woman assured her. “You can change in these rooms,” she directed, pointed at doors across the hallway. “If you need anything, simply ask.” With that she backed away.
“This is it,” Angel announced into the silence after Dedi disappeared down the hallway.
“Uh-huh, it is.” They continued to stand in the hallway. “Its no big deal,” she tried to convince them both. “Its not like we haven’t…”
“We did,” and it has been fantastic even if it wasn’t enough.
Cordy nodded and rocked back on her heels. She popped her lips. “You thought it was disgusting…” over Angel’s denial she continued, “We’ll just do it and forget. No big deal. A quick in out, and we catch the bad guy, you can do that right?”
Angel squirmed under her gaze. Problem was, it’d been so long it just might be quick but he wanted a whole lot more. “Cordy, I…”
“Just close your eyes and pretend I’m blonde, OK?” Cordy order as she marched off to change.
That hadn’t gone well, Angel decided as he watched her storm off.
Things were about to get worse.
The changing room held only a sheet and a clasp. The woven material flowed over her fingers as Cordelia tested the fabric. Not her style and certainly not what she expected in a brothel. Following the instructions clipped to the coat-hanger, Cordelia undressed. As instructed she removed all of her clothes, leaving her naked before the mirror.
Sex with Angel, she thought to her reflection. “Angel,” she repeated out loud. Her life was getting too complicated.
She reached for the material and picked one of the “styles” shown on the instruction card. She held the material open, wrapping it around her as she took a free end of the rectangle in each of her hands and crossed them in the front before tying the ends behind her neck. Considering her royal attire, this was an ultra conservative look. Satisfied she slipped out the door and rushed across the hall. She didn’t want to run into any of the “other” clients.
Once in the “temple” she sat on a bench to wait for Angel. Warm desert air filled the room though every once in a while a breeze carried the scent of water. She could just make out the sound of water beyond the temple walls.
A part of the temple wall swung inward, revealing the brothel door and….Cordelia snickered.
“It’s not funny,” Angel grumbled. Her laughter echoed against the walls. “They took my clothes,” he complained.
“Nice knees.”
Angel looked down. His ensemble consisted of a white skirt; he was Irish enough to admit it was a kilt, but it still looked like a skirt. “This isn’t right.”
“Don’t be a baby,” Cordy chided, though it did look like a diaper. She got up to explore. “I want to look around.”
“Any clues?” Angel whispered as he caught up with her.
“Not so far. Are they…?” she pointed to some of the hieroglyphs on the walls. In one set of images a man with a long phallus stood between a woman’s raised legs, in other a man received oral sex and in another a woman yielded a whip in front of a naked man. “I don’t remember any of this from history class,” continued her monologue.
She walked into the firelight of a torch. The light flickered along her body, creating a display of light and shadow.
Angel felt himself harden at the sight of her rose colored areoles and the hint of dark shadow at the juncture of her thighs beneath the transparent gauze. He slowed to allow her to walk in front of him. The material floated over her bottom offering an occasional shadow along her bottom.
“…think it was…?” Cordelia turned to ask Angel. She stopped, taking in the way he looked at her. She felt like the last pair of shoes at a Neiman Marcus sale. Her body responded to the intensity of his gaze, her nipples pebbling and sweet warmth flowing through her body. “You said I was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen.” She blushed, not only had her voice been tellingly husky but she couldn’t believe she’d actually said that.
“You are.” Angel stepped into the light. “Inside and out.” She opened her mouth as he traced his finger from her ear along her jaw line.
“Oh,” she answered. She shivered, his caress had left an invisible trail of sensation as real as any brand. “But you said…”
He shook his head. “You said. I wanted it to be us.”
“It was a little crowded.” She backed up as he drew closer. For once she realized just how tall he was; she had to look up to meet his eyes. Tall and strong and….beautiful. He looked like an “Angel…”
Angel touched her shoulder and slid his other hand behind her. “Are you going to keep talking?” The warmth of her breath tickled his lips as he moved to kiss her.
“I could shut up now,” Cordelia suggested before he silenced her in the most pleasurable way.
His fingers commenced a soft circular massage over the chords of her neck, while his tongue flicked with every osculation to savor the heady flavor of Cordelia. He created a trail to her collar bone, all the while continuing the seductive motion of his finger over her muscles. Her pulse accelerated with each touch and his own body rose in response. Already his body quivered for release. He stepped forward.
The back of her knees collided with a chair and she fell into its embrace when he released her. Suddenly free, her body tried to regain equilibrium even as it sent a catalog of sensation to her brain. Without the cool touch of his flesh, the warmth of the air almost felt too hot, almost seemed to smolder against her skin. Her breath became rapid puffs that did little to calm the racing of her heart. Over her heart, her breasts tingled, sending teasing charges of pleasure and tension though out her body. The caress of the gauze only enhanced the feeling.
Angel needed to regain control. But he wanted to torture her with the same longing and desire he’d borne for weeks. The instruction booklet in the changing room had given him an idea. He knelt at her feet, all the while holding her gaze. He took leg, lifting her shin to stroke and warm the calf muscle. He dropped a kiss just below her knee as he bent forward to retrieve a brush and ink from beneath her throne. He settled back, resting his weight over his ankles.
“Angel,” Cordelia managed. The sensation was wonderful, but his actions confused her.
“Shhhh,” he coaxed. He lifted her other foot, groaning as he settled it over his erection. His groan turned into a moan that caused his head to drop back while his spin contracted into an arch when she pulled her foot away only to resettled it under his kilt. Her triumphant grin goaded him into action.
Dipping the pen-sized brush into the ink he began to paint. A small cheatsheet pinned to the throne worked as a guideline for the patterns he drew.
Cordelia inhaled with lungs frozen by arousal. A tickling down sweep of the brush curved into a stronger upward stroke. The next pattern move higher along her leg, her toes twitched in response, her left set encountered the firm pane of his stomach, the right his hard cock and public hair. She shifted her foot lower to find his sacks. An instinct caused her to shift, opening to allow him nearer. Her movement reminded her of her panty-less state. At once awareness of the tactile sensation of the chair beneath her flooded body. The soft material teased her lower lips, while the pressure of her position stimulated her clitoris. She shifted, some of the haze of arousal lifting in her embarrassment.
He felt her withdrawal and increased his pace. The markings now reached above her knee. He kissed the last mark then edged the lower part of her dress higher, circling inward as he worked. His brush danced over the flesh of her thigh. Yet she still squirmed, shifting and re-shifting on the seat. From his position he could see the wet pooling on the chair. “Cordy,” he paused. She could rejected him, deny him. “Do it,” he both commanded and requested.
She blushed, a wave of red spreading over her face and neck. Unconsciously, he licked his lips at the sight of that blood flowing under her skin. “What?” she asked.
He flicked the brush between her thighs and shuddered as her toes curled in response. “This,” he instructed. He caught her hands and guided it to the brush mark.
“But….I feel stupid,” she grumbled.
He grinned. “You look hot.”
“Really? You mean guys….? Oh.” Cheeks rosey, her fingers touched and were joined by his. She groaned when he dipped a finger inside. “You’ve…got…the…con … con… con…” her body locked, catching his fingers in a grinding embrace within her body and against the chair.
Released from vice grip of her thighs Angel reached into the waistband of his kilt. “These?” he asked. Still panting Cordy nodded. “Why didn’t you say so?”
Cordelia growled and launched herself off the seat.
Angel laughed as he was tipped backward and ended up sprawled on the floor with a tickling fury on top of him, the condoms falling just beyond his shoulder. A warm wet spot formed over his stomach as she straddled him. They struggled together, her trying to pin his wrists to the floor with one hand and tickle him with the other. He squirmed and tried to break free, without vampire or even human strength.
Their movements caused the edges of her gown to separate. He froze, struggle forgotten.
Part 5
The linen dress has opened framing her breasts and thighs. From his vantage on the floor, he could see shiny silk dampening the curls over her lower lips. His eyes glowed and his mouth watered at the sight of the feast before him.
Every muscle in Cordelia’s body tightened at the look on Angel’s face. If she’d been the last pair of shoes before, now she was the last Red Cross donor at a vampire convention. His eyes nearly devoured her, even as his tongue slipped out to lick his lips. Her chest tightened in response and the muscles inside her body clenched. A moan would be too embarrassing, but a sqeak found its way into the silence.
Angel rolled up, coming onto his knees. She bounced to her feet. He, still on his knees crept forward. She, balanced on the tips of her toes, stepped back. And again. He inhaled, scenting the air. Combined with the wild gleam in his eye, his action reminded her of a wolf—a hungry wolf. She swallowed as her body clenched even tighter and a quivering tingle lifted the hairs at the back of her next, igniting a fluttering dance along her spine. “You’re…you’re going to bite me….” she tried to accuse, but her body had other ideas. The words carried desire and passion not the anger and indignation she sought.
“Yes,” he answered, in a tone she’d only heard him use with the bad guys, which wasn’t all that reassuring. Before she could response he sprang forward, only to land before her in kneeling position. “You’ll like it” came the hiss as his fingers gripped her thighs and his face dove towards the treasure unveiled by the opening of her gown.
His tongue sought and demanded entrance, and without real thought she acceded to that request. Looking down she had the odd thought that she’d never expected to have a vampire between her thighs. But then she’d never expected to live with a ghost or shop at the Dollar Store either. A nip interrupted the pleasure of his flicking tongue. Her spine tightened and her inner walls clenched; any more and her body would turn to stone. Unless she shattered first. “Ok,” she panted, “you can bite me.” Again a nip preceded a deep foray of his tongue. “Ah,” she gasped. Her legs locked into position. Suddenly her entire body release and shatter, turning stone into molten lava. Euphoria washed over her and rubbery knees gave way. Strong arms caught her and guided her to the floor.
Angel rushed to put on the condom. The thin latex tore, forcing him to reach for another. No wonder he got a discount, the damned things kept tearing! By the time he unfurled an opaque device, Cordelia had begun to recover from the haze of climax. She was gorgeous when she was clouded with that haze, and he wanted her before her body finished those delicious spasms.
He positioned himself over her, sliding one arm beneath her to lift her body to greet his own. His lower body matched hers and he lifted her and lowered himself at the same time. Finally he captured her lips with his own. It was everything he’d imagined. She was warm, wet….and wiggly. He groaned---the W’s.
The sensations flooding from Cordelia’s body over his long dead nerve endings created a blue haze of electricity which shimmered over him, impelling him to greater speed and urgency. Between the taste of her, the feel of her hard nipples against his chest and the way she was purposefully flexing and unflexing around his cock, he thought he was being tortured to life.
He felt his erection twitch in preparation, signaling him to increase his demands on her body. The contact of their bodies echoed through the chamber in concert with her pants and his moans, escalating until the body beneath created a vice around his penis and her breast pushed against him as her back arched. In that vice, he reached a thundering bliss.
It took two tries but finally she was able to say, “You bit me.”
Angel levered himself up, so he could grin, a little triumphantly, at her.
“…and I said you could,” she finished.
“You liked it.” Perhaps not the most diplomatic thing to say, but he doubted she had the energy to hurt him. He noticed she didn’t deny it.
“There,” she clarified, shifting the area at which they were still joined.
He shifted to place his lips close to her ears. “You want I should do it again?” he mimicked one of her favorite film noir character.
“Pfft, you wish,” she protested then subsided. They stayed there a few more minutes, only the sounds of Cordelia’s breath and heartbeat mingled with the sounds of the river beyond the walls. Finally she broke the silence. “Vampire stamina, right?”
He just looked at her.
“You could….” She suggested with an innocent look.
“Too tired,” he denied, shifting to his side.
She snorted, feeling him grow hard inside her. “Its not far.”
He settled her against his shoulder. “You didn’t mind the floor a minute ago.”
Together they looked across the room toward the bed. The diaphanous bed linens wafted in the air.
“I don’t think I can move my legs.”
“You’re moving something else.”
“Yeah. I noticed.” Again, the room fell silent as one reached over to caress the other. “It’s a really nice bed.”
The caress led to a stroke, as a path was blazed lower. “It’s a nice floor.”
Having boldly abandoned the shadows, Herbie watched the couple. At first he doubted whether they would be suitable. Chemistry, hot sex, love, affection—all nice but not exactly what he sought. Then he saw it. As their lips met a blue simmer past over their bodies. That he recognized. That was what he sought. Magic.
Unhidden, yet unnoticed, he opened the wall of the temple. He had to meet with the blonde if he was to avoid suspicion, which meant a detour to one of the changing rooms. Older men just should not be having sex with girls a tenth their age. But for the mission he’d do it.
Less than an hour later he entered another temple where the gods walked among their followers. He fell to his knees with his face pressed to the floor as one of the masters of nether world passed. Scrambling to his knees he rushed into the main part of the sanctuary….having to kneel each time a god walked by was more than a little time consuming and incontinent when you lived with a house full of them.
“Pssst, Herbie.” Herbie turned to find one of the priests waving him into a dark alcove. The man’s hands fluttered nervously as he tried to signal not only manually, but with rolling sweeps of his eyes.
For this he horded all his great treasures? Another day in paradise, Herbie mumbled to himself. “Bet is waiting for me.”
The other man took offense. “Horus is waiting for me, and,” the man looked down. “There’s a problem.”
Wasn’t there always? Herbie wondered.
Eyes rolling in near terror the man reached for Herbie’s arm. “We’re out of ibis.”
“Again? Have you tried another supplier?”
The priest bristled, “Of course I tried other sources. But that SPCA cult has spread their lies, saying we’re ‘cruel’ to animals.” He snorted.
With everything else, Herbie didn’t want to worry about birds. “Can’t you just…” he opened his hands suggestively.
“But…”
Taking a firmer stance, Herbie glared.
The priest sighed. The god probably wouldn’t notice anyway; after all, he hadn’t the last time. Nodding thanks to Herbie he retreated to the shadows. He needed to stop by Home Depot to pick up some cheap wood. No sense wrapping the expensive stuff.
Herbie approached his deity, falling to his knees and honoring with him palms up.
After moments, a figure cloaked in shadow acknowledged the supplicant.
Herbie dared to lift his eyes and asked, “Will you accept my offering?”
TBC