Title: Missing the Fireworks
Author: Kelly
Posted: 07-04-2002
Rating: PG-ish, PG-13 tops
Email: Kelly4480@aol.com
Content: C/A
Summary: Fourth of July, 2003 at Angel Investigations(one year from now)
Spoilers: Through Tomorrow
Disclaimer: I did not invented Ats the show or any related characters. I also did not invent the wheel or anything else remotely useful and/or cool.
Distribution:
Notes:
It was Friday. Even though Angel Investigations didn't actually take the weekend off (evil couldn't seem to understand the concept of the 5-day-work-week), there was still a sort of TGIF feeling that pervaded the hotel. Angel figured it was just everyone being glad to make it through another apocalypse-free week. Even he felt pretty good. Relaxed. Happy. Not perfectly happy, but still.
Everything seemed to be going well. July in Southern California wasn't as stifling as it could have been. Gunn had just informed him that they had actually gotten paid for exorcising a ghost from that Italian restaurant on Broad Street. Connor was out playing basketball with his friends-his son had friends! Angel leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the desk. Yes, for a brief moment, all was right with the world.
From inside the office, he heard the sounds of Cordy coming into the lobby. Heard her greeting Fred. Heard the clack of her heels as she walked to her desk, the faint sound of nail polish bottles clinking as she put her bag down.
Seconds later, as it always did, her scent filtered into the office, and for a brief moment, Angel just let it envelope him, coating his tongue. It was a fragrance that was totally unique-he had spent the last two years trying to figure out what to compare Cordelia's scent to, and he still hadn't come up with anything. Whatever it was, it made him hungry, and not for the cup of blood that sat on the desk in front of him.
Angel smiled to himself. This was perfect. It was Friday, Cordy was here and apparently vision-free, and Connor would be home soon. Maybe they could all sped the night in. Rent a few videos. That would be nice.
Cordy walked into the office with a big smile on her face and Angel knew his plans of a quiet evening in had just been shot straight to hell.
***********
"So, what do you think?" Cordelia asked, stepping further into the office, putting her hands in the air and twirling around.
What did he think? His seer was prancing around in white capris and a red tube top. The red was hugging certain.curves in a way that made him wish he was a cotton-poly blend. He noted the blue sweater she held in her right hand.
"I think you should put the sweater on. Should you be running around the hotel half-naked when we have an impressionable boy living here?" Angel cringed when he heard himself say that. That was never a good tactic to take with Cordelia.
"I am not the least bit naked Angel. And Connor's 17-I doubt an old lady in a tube top has much of an impression on him," Cordy said, sending him a withering glance to accompany her words. Angel doubted very much that Connor thought of her as an old lady. He thought back to earlier in the year, when Cordy had taken him to the beach. According to Gunn, Cordelia in a bikini had forced Connor to spend most of the day waist-deep in the ocean. Two days later, Angel had sucked it up and finally given Connor the sex talk.
Cordelia continued. "Anyway, my outfit is pretty appropriate, don't you think?"
Angel thought it was pretty appropriate for ripping off. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? What she had been doing to him? It had been more than a year since that fateful night, the night they were to have met at the beach. Months later, when everyone was back home, there was still Wolfram and Hart to deal with, then the business of forgiving Wesley and finally cleaning up the almost-apocalypse Xander Harris's demon ex-fiancee started when she came to visit in March.
Somehow, whatever Cordelia had wanted to tell him that night had gotten lost in the shuffle. The moment had passed and life went on, with him and Cordy exactly has they had been before, both still flirting with the idea of even flirting with each other. On the plus side, the year had passed Groo-free and Cordy's interest in dating seemed to have completely dissapeared. On the other hand, he didn't know how much longer he could live with this tension, of thinking he knew how she felt, but not knowing for sure.
"Angel, did you hear me?" Cordy said. "It's appropriate, considering."
"Huh, I mean, considering?"
"You know what today is, don't you?" Cordelia asked, scooting his legs off the desk and sitting in the spot she had cleared.
"Uh, yeah." Angel knew that today was the 415 day in a row he had fantasized about taking Cordelia.
"So what day is it, Broody McKnow-it-all?"
"Friday?" Where was she going with this, Angel wondered.
"ANGEL!!"
Angel sighed. He wasn't totally clueless. He had registered the patriotic-ness of her outfit. So what though? Who cared about the 4th of July? "Yes I know what day it is."
Cordelia flashed that one take no prisoners smile and Angel inwardly groaned. "Good. So here's what I have planned," she said. Oh no. Angel wasn't going to be dragged into this one.
"Plans?" Angel said. Actually, it came out as more of a squeak, but he chose to ignore that fact. "Cordy, this really isn't my kind of holiday."
"Geez, Angel, this is one of the few holidays you CAN celebrate," she huffed. "It's not church-related and it's defining characteristic happens at night. Why isn't this your kind of holiday? What do vamps have against independence?"
Angel had to bite his lip. There was no way in hell he was going, but her insane arguments were just so darn cute.
"I meant it's not my kind of holiday because I'm Irish," he clarified. Of course, he knew Cordelia would have an answer to that. She didn't disappoint.
"Well, as an Irishman, shouldn't you be looking for more holidays-more excuses to drink. PLUS, how come you're only Irish when you want to be? When I wanted you to take me out for St. Patty's you told me you weren't really all that Irish since you only spent like 1/10 of your life there." She had a point. He did only use the Irish thing when it was in his favor.
"Cordeliaaaa" Angel whined. That's right. He whined. There was no shame in whining. Not when it was done for such a righteous cause.
"Angel. Save it." This time she flashed the take-no-prisoners glare. It was a lot scarier than the smile. "It's the fourth of fucking July and we' re GOING to celebrate."
She was out the door, leaving Angel to wonder if Cordelia had just growled that last part, or if it was just his imagination.
***********
When he came out of his office two hours later, Angel was hoping against hope that Cordy had just given up on trying to drag him out. Maybe the news of the exorcism payment had distracted her from her 4th of July plans.
It wasn't that he had anything against celebrating America's birthday. It's just all the people and the annoying music and the awful fireworks noise and the smells..
"It'll be great Fred," he heard Cordelia say. "Tons of people. And bands doing all sorts of fun music and amazing fireworks and all those yummy BBQ smells of people cooking out."
Clearly the money hadn't been enough of a distraction. Well, he might not get her to stay home, but there was no way he was going. Connor would probably stay with him. 16 years in a hell dimension, the boy had probably seen enough real fireworks.
"It sounds like a lot of fun Cordy," he heard his son say. Connor looked up and met father's eyes and Angel swore that he smirked. "Doesn't it Dad?" Miracle child or not, that kid needed to learn a little gender loyalty.
Angel ignored the question. Just because he'd lost Connor, that didn't mean he was out of options. "Where's Gunn?" he asked the room at large.
Fred gave him a pity-ing smile before answering. "He's picking up Wes and some food. Cordy bought a real picnic basket and I found a bunch of blankets and this is just gonna be so wonderful."
"Yeah. Don't you think so, Dad," Connor piped in, the little Judas. He definitely smirked that time Angel thought. And it didn't look anything like his Angelus smirk. No, it looked much more evil.like Cordelia's. Those two had been spending WAY too much time together.
"So, you're going with them?" Angel asked his son, already knowing the answer, already knowing this was looking more and more like a lost cause.
"Yes," Cordy answered, walking up and getting in Angel's face. "Thank God your son didn't inherit your allergy to having a good time," she said, poking him repeatedly in the chest.
Don't argue, Angel told himself. Just make a quick exit-this was his last chance to escape. "Yes, well," he said, starting to walk backwards, over to the stairs, "you guys just go and have a nice time." Almost there.
"Hold it buster," Cordelia said. It really did sound a lot like growling that time. He would have to speak to her about that. He didn't want her scaring Connor. "I understand you wanting to skip the parade, what with it happening during the harsh light of day and you not actively wanting to burst into flames. So we skipped the parade. But it will be dark in an hour. And then you and your family are going to go to the park, sit down with a bunch of other happy families, and enjoy the fireworks."
"Cordy," Angel tried the whine again.
"I'm not asking Angel," she said. She said it so seriously, even a man as historically obtuse as Angel knew not to argue.
***********
It was just as he'd expected. The park was wall-to-wall picnic blankets. The air was rife with the smells of hamburgers and fried chicken, of fruit salad and lemonade. Children were running around everywhere with fireworks from the stand down the street, all probably minutes from putting their eyes out. The band was already on it's third rendition of God Bless America.
It wasn't so bad actually. God help him, it was just a little bit.nice.
They had set up two blankets right next to each other, with him, Connor and Cordy on one and Fred, Gunn and Wes on the other. Cordy had thought of everything. There was tons of food, cold beer and Coke, a thermos of blood for him, and even some illegal fireworks for Connor and Gunn to go play with. There had been a brief issue with the attention Cordy and her red tube top were getting from a group of UCLA frat boys, but that was resolved rather quickly once she put her sweater on (and Angel had strolled over to them, just to "say hi").
Angel leaned back against the cooler and sighed. Cordy and Connor sat directly in front of him playing cards to pass the time before it was dark enough for the fireworks to start. Wes and Fred were over by the fence, haggling over the price of a day-glo necklace. And Gunn lay spread-eagled on the other blanket, clutching his stomach and bemoaning the next time he challenged Fred to a hot-dog eating contest.
It wasn't the way he'd wanted this night to go, and yet he couldn't imagine how it could be any better. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Ending the evening by committing certain illegal acts with his Seer would be better. But this was nice.
"So who wants ice cream?" Fred's voice startled Angel out of his reverie and he looked up to see that she and Wes had returned, day-glo necklaces in hand. Apparently ice cream sounded good, since Cordy and Connor both moved to stand up.
"No, no Cordy," Fred said quickly. "I'm sure the rest of us can get it. You want a chocolate and vanilla swirl, right?"
"Sounds great," Cordy said, plunking down in the space between Angel's spread legs and coming dangerously close to doing real damage in the process. She didn't seem to notice.
"Gunn," Fred said, giving the love of her life a sharp kick in the side. "Get up. It's time for ice cream." She looked at Gunn, than over at Angel and Cordy, than back at Gunn, hoping to convey something. Unfortunately, her boyfriends eyes were closed. "GUNN"
"Sweetie. No ice cream for me. I'm never eating again," Gunn moaned.
That wasn't acceptable to Fred. "Well than you can help carry. Come on, get up. You need to work some of those hot dogs off."
Gunn paused in his attempt at sitting up. "Please, never say those two words in front of me again." He managed to stand up, but he didn't look so good. Fred just giggled and called him a baby. Then they started off in the direction of the ice-cream truck.
"Hurry back you guys," Cordy called after them. "You don't want to miss the fireworks."
* * *
Time slowed to an almost stand-still, at least in Angel's mind. For seconds that seemingly stretched into hours, the two of them sat there. Angel was lost in the smell of her hair, the quiet beating of her heart, and the feel of her pressed against the inside of his legs. It was overwhelming.
He didn't know what do with his hands. He could place them at his sides. Or maybe, uh, offer to rub her shoulders? Cordelia, as usual, solved the problem for him. She leaned back into his chest, took hold of both of his hands, and clasped them over her stomach. Angel wondered if she had somehow known of his dilemma. Regardless, he simply ached for this woman.
This was nice, having her in his arms. He slowly let his body relax into the feeling of a perfect summer night spent holding the woman he loved. The woman, he noticed, who had craned her head around and was staring at him.
"What," Angel asked. He better not have a blood moustache. Talk about ruining the moment.
Cordy bit her lip. "You're having fun," she said. Angel immediately tried to erase any trace of a smile. "Oh, don't bother denying it. You, Angel, are having a good time."
"Fine, yes, this might be sorta, kinda nice," Angel grumbled. Cordelia smiled and turned back around, sinking once again into his embrace. He leaned over to her ear. "Happy now?" he asked, his voice suddenly lower than it had been before.
Cordelia exhaled and ran her fingers over Angel's forearms. "Yes. Right now, I am very happy."
Angel waited a minute, not wanting to disturb her peace. But there was something he had to know. "So, feel like telling me why you've been making such a big deal about all this 4th of July stuff? It's not like it's Christmas. There are no presents."
"Hey," Cordelia cried out.
"Just kidding. But seriously. I just never pictured you getting into something like this," Angel said.
For a minute she didn't answer and Angel worried that she never would. Finally she said, "Angel, do you know where I was this time last year?" So that's what this was about, Angel thought.
"I knew I was with the Powers, but not even I was entirely sure where I was. And I didn't know where you were and I didn't even know when the 4th of July was. But I knew that time was passing and I knew that I was missing it."
"You dragged us all here because during your stay with the Powers, you missed the fireworks?" Angel asked, not sure he was understanding.
"I missed a lot of things when I was gone," Cordy said, in a quiet voice that didn't match her earlier enthusiasm. He reached for both of her hands and held them.
"We both missed a lot of things," he agreed, just as quietly.
"I know," she said with a sigh. And that's what I thought about when I was there. What I was missing. That look on Fred's face she gets right after that fifth taco-you know half pleased and half sick. Or, or the way that Gunn starts to check me out when I walk into the hotel and then remembers I' m practically his sister and just shakes his head. And watching those to fall more in love. I was missing all that."
"And the season finale of 'Friends'," Angel blurted out.
"WHAT!!"
"I'm serious," Angel said, hoping to calm her down a little bit. "I really got into that whole pregnancy storyline last year. I really wanted to see it."
"Angel!"
'Well, it's not like that's all I thought about. I was missing the little post-its Fred leaves all over the hotel, with all those reminders and questions. You know, 'butcher on 17th street having sale, buy blood by Tuesday' or 'member to ask Angel if vampires use dental floss.' Oh, and Gunn and I had plans to go see Men in Black II. I remember being really mad that I wasn't gonna get to do that."
"I kept thinking that I wished I had gone to see Wesley," Cordy said. She felt Angel tense up a little and peeked around to look at him. "Well it's true. I was worried about him. All alone, no human contact."
"He had Lilah, didn't he?" Angel said somewhat darkly.
"Like I said, no human contact," Cordelia continued. "And I thought we were done getting all angry about that stuff with Wesley. I thought you were dealing."
Angel did the uneccessary sigh thing. "Sorry, I guess all this talk about the summer I spent at the bottom of the ocean is bringing up some bad memories. I'm dealing. I am." Cordy did the "Hmmmm" face but turned back around. "So what else did you think about?"
"Connor." Angel nodded, it was an answer he had expected. "Honestly Angel, this 4th of July thing was mostly about him. I knew he would like the lights. I pictured taking him to the beach or, or having a cookout at the hotel, with you in a big dumb apron and a chef's hat." Angel couldn't help but laugh at that mental picture. "Yeah, I know, it was corny. But it got me through. It was killing me, how much I was probably missing of you two, together."
"You didn't miss anything," Angel said wistfully.
"But I didn't know that at the time, silly. As far as I was concerned, you and he were at the hotel together. You were training him to fight and learning how to cook the foods he liked and doing the sex talk and having the time of your lives.all without me."
"There is now way the sex talk was the time of my life," Angel interjected. Cordy squeezed his hand and he let her continue.
"I, I was scared and I missed you guys to death and I was so worried that you were all doing fine without me, forming a new family and barely noticing that I wasn't there."
Angel waited a minute after she was finished, making sure it was okay for him to talk now.
"Cordelia. There is no way things would have just gone on without you. I wouldn't have gone on without you. I couldn't have. Fred was absolutely right, you know. You are the heart of us."
She didn't say anything but Angel felt the heat of her cheek against his chest and got the suspicious feeling that she was blushing.
"You know, Cor, I might have missed 'Friends' and post-it notes while I was gone, but I didn't really miss them. Not the way I missed you." He brushed a soft kiss against the top of her head and nearly shuddered at his daring. "So believe me, if you had just never shown up at Point Dune, I WOULD have noticed you weren't there."
Again there was silence but it was surprisingly comfortable. Both of watched as a line of kids raced by holding sparklers. Cordy gave a small shiver. "It's getting chilly," she murmured. "And dark. The fireworks will be starting soon."
"You know, it's been more than a year and." Angel said.
"And.?"
"And we've never talked about, uh, we never finished.we never had the conversation. The one we would have had, that night." God, why did he sound so nervous?
"That's true, we never did," Cordy said ambiguously.
"Well." Angel thought Cordy was purposely making this hard on him. She had to know where he was going with this.
"Well.what?"
"What were you going to say, you know, that night?" The woman would drive him mad one day and Angel knew that deep down, he would relish every minute of it.
"Geez Angel. That was a really long time ago. How am I supposed to remember something from a year ago?" Angel knew she was teasing now, but that didn't make this any easier.
"Let me refresh your memory," he whispered into her hear, pulling her body in tighter against him. "You said that it wasn't something bad, that it was something good."
"I said it depended on how you felt," she corrected him quietly.
"Ahh, so your memory's coming back now."
"Kiss my ass" Cordy shot back. Gladly, Angel thought.
"You said it depended on how I felt about you," Angel said. He needed to get her back on track here.
For a minute, Cordy said nothing, cocking her head to the right and listening to the faint strains of the "Star Spangled Banner" in the background. "Yes, that's what I said."
Angel used both arms to turn her around so she sat on her knees between his outstretched legs, finally facing him.
"Don't you know how I feel about you?" he asked in a voice so husky and low he doubted she even heard him, cupping her cheek in his hand.
She blinked and when her eyes re-opened they were huge and glassy. "Yes," she answered in a breathy voice, "I do." And then his other hand cupped her other cheek and his lips were on hers and it was like nothing he had ever known before. It was too much. It was holding a live wire while simultaneously being rocked to sleep. Nothing had ever been so exciting and arousing and sweet and comforting, all at the same time. It was 10,000 times better than anything he could have imagined. Anything he had imagined during those three long months locked in that box and imagined again every day since. When she broke away, he mourned the loss, but understood the pressing need for air.
"Fireworks" she mumbled breathlessly against his cheek as her hands wound tighter around his neck.
"Hmmm" he said, between kisses on her neck. "I know."
He felt her giggle than push away slightly. "No silly," she said, smiling brightly at him. "Up there. They started." She pointed to the sky, which was alight with glorious color but not nearly as entrancing as the woman he held in his arms. He yanked on a strand of her hair to get her attention again.
"You turn," he said smugly.
"Uh, my turn for what?" she asked, quizzically.
"To, to tell me. Let me know how you feel. Say this isn't one-sided."
"Angel!" She gave him an appraising glance. "You know how I feel!"
"Do I?" Angel didn't feel too bad about giving her a hard time. Not after what this woman had put him through.
Cordelia smiled. She took his hand and touched his fingers to her lips. "You know how hard I'm breathing right now." She moved his hand down to cup the back of her neck. "You know how warm I am." Finally she took his hand and placed it in the very center of her chest. "You know how fast my heart is beating." Her hands fell away, but his stayed where she had put it.
"Well, all that could be the fireworks," he mumbled, taking the opportunity to caress the underside of her breast with his thumb.
Before he knew it she had tackled him, laying him out on the ground with her on top of him. She traced his eyebrow with her pinky and shook her head slowly.
"It's you," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "It's always been you."
***********
From 40 yards away, the four other members of Angel Investigations watched as the two figures came together, unaware of the lightshow directly above them.
"Aww yeah," Gunn said, clapping his hands lightly. "Bout time."
"See," Fred bragged to her boyfriend, "I told you it would happen if we just left them alone."
Connor, who was pleased to find himself with an extra ice cream cone, also felt kind of bad. "Should we go over there? They're missing the fireworks."
Wes put a restraining hand on the boy's shoulder when he moved to leave. "Something tells me they're not."
End.