Title: Saving You
Author: Jenay
Posted: 08-31-2004
Email: houseofpiesweb@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Category: Drama
Content: C/A
Summary: Cordelia feels like her life is falling apart, and for good reason: because it is. And Angel doesn't understand why she doesn't want to be saved. Surprises along the way.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Just Fic, fanfiction.net
Notes: Just a whirlwind writing spasm I had. Kind of re-worked Cordelia becoming pregnant. Wesley is still with the gang, but there is no baby or adult/teenager Connor. The e-mails are made up, please do not attempt to write to them.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Thanks/Dedication:Part 1
It was Thursday night in the hot summer month of July and where was Cordelia Chase? Probably not where any of her Sunnydale friends would expect her to be. She wasn’t at the elite Hollywood Party that Marcia had called and told her of yesterday. No, where was Cordelia Chase? She was in the dark alleyway behind her apartment building trying to change her oil. Not something she was known for but it sure beat the other option of cleaning demon guts and goo out of the hotel ventilation system like Wes, Gunn, Angel and probably Fred were. At least she was home, she thought, reaching for the screwdriver in her toolbox. Tightening up the last loose screws that she had noticed in the engine, she plopped the hood down on her Jeep and grabbed the handle on the toolbox. She knew she was a mess and for once in her life she didn’t care. She missed half of the day today and for good reason, even though she didn’t know what the reason was yet. Truth was, she just wanted to be alone, as much alone with an invisible man as you could be.
Charging into her apartment, she set the toolbox down by the door and headed to the kitchen. She was hungry now, but for what she didn’t know. Some part of her wished Angel would magically appear and make her the Eggs Benedict she was famous for eating. And everyone knew that Angel made the best eggs in town. But she didn’t want to see him right now anyhow. She didn’t know or have a reason for that or a reason for why she was mad at him, she just was. Saving her again from the big bad demon guy two days ago had been it. She didn’t want to be saved. She wasn’t the damsel in distress or the princess held captive in a tower guarded by a fire breathing dragon, even though the last demon had actually been fire breathing and half dragon. Cordelia Chase was the almighty powerful seer who could melt a man’s heart with one glare and crush an unpopular girl’s dreams by commenting on her Keds© tennis shoes.
Cordelia searched through her fridge and freezer, finally deciding on a mini pizza that had been in there since the beginning of time. The pepperoni, ham, green pepper, olive, onion and double cheese combo sounded about right this time of night. Of course, her breath would stink afterwards, but she didn’t care, no one was physically there to smell her breath and tell her that she stinks. Sliding it into the microwave, she pressed the automatic pizza reheat button and walked back to her bedroom.
Slipping out of her black splattered ultra-comfortable jeans and matching now black spotted white shirt, she traded them in for a pair of old gym shorts and a USC t-shirt. Much more comfortable, she thought to herself as she heard the microwave beep, alerting her to the hot pizza waiting to be devoured. Strolling out of her bedroom she made a quick stop at the bathroom, pulling her hair into a tight ponytail once again.
“Thank you Dennis.” She said into the bright kitchen air once she saw the pizza already out of the microwave and on the table alongside some utensils and a glass filled with ice and soda.
Taking a seat in front of the Italian dish, a napkin floated in front of her and slipped down onto her lap.
“You are so good to me, Dennis.” She told the friendly phantom, thankful that she had someone there with her. That was her only reminder that she wasn’t truly alone.
* * *
“Do you think she’ll call?” Angel asked aloud, still staring at the phone like he had been for the past three hours.
Fred, Gunn, Wesley and Lorne all looked at each other, rolling their eyes and thinking to themselves that this was the fifth time he asked. The vents were clean, rat traps set, bookcases were now alphabetized, marble floors were spotless and they had just finished dusting the stair wells.
The gang was now just ‘chillin’’, as Gunn called it. Wesley and Gunn had the mini television out and were flipping through the channels, Fred was on the computer and Lorne was mixing up his sea breeze.
“Angelcakes, the phone won’t ring if you’re staring at it all day.” Lorne told him friend, pouring the sea breeze into his glass.
“But…”
“Angel, she’ll call when she’ll call. Don’t push her.” Lorne gave his friend the advice whether he wanted it or not. Taking a seat next to him behind the counter, Lorne fetched one of Cordelia’s entertainment magazines.
“Oooo, looky…Brad & Jennifer out on the town.” Lorne pointed out on the out and about page noting Jennifer’s outfit and sipping on his sea breeze.
“Uh, Angel…” Fred poked her eyes out from behind the computer and caught his attention. “You might want to read this.” Fred sounded scared and worried, something that they were all used to but this time the quiver in her lip was shakier causing everyone to gather up behind her.
“What is it?” Angel asked, leaning down to read the bright computer screen. Sinking down in the chair that Fred had just occupied, he read the long e-mail.
To: team@angelinvestigations.net
From: visiongirl@hotmail.com
Subject: none
To my family: I love you. Please understand why I am doing this. I just need to get away for a while and I don’t want you to follow me. Dennis will be expecting one of you to check on him, just to make sure that you know he still exists and the apartment is paid until next year, so no worries there. I love you. Please don’t think this is because of any of you, because it’s not. You are my family, my closest friends and I owe my whole existence and reason for still being on this earthly plane to you all. So please respect my wishes and don’t follow me.
To Angel: My sweet, sweet Angel: the above especially applies to you. I love you the most. Sorry Wesley, Gunn, Lorne and Fred. But I do. Probably more than any of us realize, including me. Just take care of our family for me. You’re going to have to be both the father and mother to them. I love you, never forget that.
With all of my heart,
~Cordelia E. Chase~
This was impossible, utterly impossible. Cordelia couldn’t leave them, much less him. She was the whole reason why he got up in the morning, the reason he was still fighting for something he knew was not going to happen in quite a long time. Angel acted on instinct again, getting out of the chair and reaching for his coat. He wasn’t going to respect any of her damn wishes regarding this issue. She wasn’t leaving.
“Angel…” Lorne called after him as the French doors swung by each other. “Oh, what’s the use?” He took the last drink of his sea breeze and said.
“There is a use. We can go and stop him before he does something stupid. Right?” Fred said, looking between the three gentlemen before her.
Each of them looked at each other, remembering the last time this happened. If any of them knew anything about Angel, and they did, he was already in her apartment arguing with her about leaving. Good Luck Dennis.
* * *
She could still feel him. It was a weird feeling that she was starting to get used to. She kind of liked that feeling, creepy as it was and in fact, she looked forward to it. Each morning would come, she would put on the horrible coffee that she picked up the day before at the store and after about ten minutes of sorting through unpaid bills and unwanted catalogues, he would be standing behind her, just staring. It was comforting, she thought to herself, packing the last pair of her jeans in her suitcase. Comforting knowing that somehow Angel would always be there to comfort her, laugh with her, joke with her, and save her. Saving her. She didn’t want him to save her anymore and he definitely couldn’t save her now.
“What do you want?” She asked, not needing to turn around and see him in her doorway to know he was there. Plus the fact that she heard him say hello to Dennis was a dead giveaway as well. “Angel?”
“Why?” His low toned voice told her something she already knew. He was mad.
“Why what?” She replied, going over to her closet and fishing out the rest of her clothing.
“Don’t Cordy…”
“Don’t what Angel? Do what, for once in my life I want to do? Sorry, but no. For once, just once, you are not going to have a say in this.” She told him, shoving the apparel tight in the divided suitcase. There he went again, making a simple task hard to do. He moved forward slightly and she moved away. She didn’t want to do this, heck, she didn’t even want him here. It made everything ten times harder.
“Cordy…talk to me.”
“About what Angel?”
“About what ever had crawled up your ass and is sending impulses up to your brain causing you to turn back into the bitch you once were!” Angel yelled back at her as she turned to face him. She was shocked and by the look on his face, so was he.
“How dare you…”
“I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized to her, seeing the sadness creep up over her face. He didn’t want to make any sudden moves and jolt her from his presence again.
“Talk to me. Please.” He begged her, tossing the remaining clothes in her hands and taking her hands in his. Gently running his fingers over hers, he asked again, “Please. Just talk to me.”
Brushing the loose hair out of her face, he saw the worry lines and running scared with terror look in her teary eyes. Something she hadn’t displayed in quite a while. She was scared and Angel was mad at himself for not knowing why.
“Is it me?”
“No, it’s not you.” She shook her head back and forth and covered her face with her hands. Leaning into his chest, she just wept. Wept, something she hadn’t done in ages. Angel brushed his hands down her back consoling her, because right now that was the only thing he could do.
Part 2
“Last week?”
“Last week.” Cordelia answered Angel, cupping her hands around the hot cup of coffee that he had brewed for her.
“How come I didn’t know about this? And what the hell gives you the right to keep this from us?” Angel asked, pacing the tiled kitchen floor back and forth, still trying to take in all the information at once.
“Because I thought I could handle it and excuse me, but it is my life.” Cordelia snapped back at him.
“Cordy…” Angel finally sat down, leaned forward and placed his hand upon her bare knee under the table.
“There’s more too. Seems that my presumed dead Grandmother Chase is alive and well too. I was told that she died before I was even thought of, and all this time she’s been alive.” Cordelia started to shake her head in disbelief that her life was a big puzzle being scrambled up like eggs.
“First, Groo leaves me, then I find out my grandmother is alive and well, then I get kidnapped by a dragon and you come to save me, yet again. My life is just…” Cordelia laid her head down on the table, ending mid thought and started to cry. Her life was screwed up or they way she thought, it was either going to hell or was already there.
“I’m not going to tell you that everything will be okay, because that’s not what you want to hear…” Angel whispered to her as she lifted her head back up, wiping away the tears. “And I’m not going to say that I’ll save you and we’ll get through this together because you don’t want to hear that either. But I will tell you that I am here, whether you like it or not.” Angel moved his hand up to her chin, and lifted her head to match his eyes.
“But don’t you ever think of leaving again, not me or your family. We need you. I need you.”
“Angel…” Her lip trembled more this time as Angel pulled her chair closer to him and caught it with his lips. Their first, well technically second kiss and it was supposed to be innocent. But it wasn’t. Angel found himself wanting more and no matter which way he looked at it, it was a bad idea. Even if he did pursue the kiss, which he really wanted to right now, he didn’t know how to proceed for the first time in his life. Cordelia was his best friend and nothing more, at least he thought until now. Pulling back from the kiss, he traced the line of her cheekbone, her head giving into the weight of her over-whelmed brain.
“Come on, let’s go.” He pulled her up out of the chair and started heading towards her bedroom door.
“Angel, what are we doing?” Cordelia whispered, clutching onto his hand as they made their way back into her bedroom, the lights turning off behind them courtesy of Dennis.
“We’re going to get some sleep. And I’m not leaving you tonight. So don’t argue.” He told her, moving the suitcase over to the other side of the room as Dennis folded down the covers, allowing Cordelia to slip in prior to Angel.
He strolled back to the queen sized mattress shedding his shows, socks and shirt and slipped in close to her. He slithered his arm around her tiny waist, snuggling her closer and giving her a soft kiss upon her forehead. It was going to take some work, but they were going to work this out. They had to, because he wasn’t giving up not her or them and he wasn’t going to let her leave. Like it or not, he was going to save her.
* * *
She was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, even with her hair thrown over her face, her mouth wide open and her butt sticking up in the air. Angel sat in the dark corner, just watching her, making sure she was still there. And she was. And that was what he wanted: her with him; always. He wasn’t really sure what happened last night. He only knew that if he had left, she probably would have too, but she wouldn’t have gone back to the hotel with him. Nope, she would probably be on a bus halfway to San Francisco, or wherever else she was planning on going. And that kiss. That kiss had sent a thousand lightning bolts through him, something that only happened once his lifetime and that had been a while ago. He really didn’t know what to think of it and when she woke up she probably didn’t want to discuss it. Running his hands over his oily hair and down his worn out face, the phone rang. And it was loud, causing Cordelia to stir just a bit before Angel picked it up and whisper a faint hello into it.
“Lorne? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to make sure that you were still there.”
“I am. I’m not really sure if I’ll be back today or not.” Angel responded,
scrubbing his head with edgy fingers.
“That’s okay. We’ll hold down the fort, you just stay with Cordelia.” Lorne paused for a breath of air, or hesitated to say something else, Angel couldn’t tell. “And Angel?”
“Yea.”
“Listen to her. That’s what she needs right now.”
Angel hung up the phone and pushed the strands of hair back from Cordelia’s face so he could see her eyes peaking out of the lids. He didn't say anything, just smiled. Listen. What else was he going to listen to? He had heard the grandmother stories, the Groo stories, her sniffles after crying for hours, her hard breathing during the night and even the two heartbeats beating as one. Listen. Maybe it was his turn to talk to her about what he actually listened to. Cordelia felt like her life was falling apart, and if he told her one more little tidbit like this, it just might.
* * *
She could see him staring at her. It was unnerving and weird, but comforting at the same time. She didn’t know how long he had been up, probably since before dawn, but she was getting the feeling he had been in that chair beside her bed for a while. She didn’t want to get up today. If she had had her way, she would be halfway to Timbuktu or Bali or maybe Aspen. She knew the boys and a certain ski instructor whose name was Sven would be happy to house her until she was ready to come back, if she was ready to come back. Groo leaving, a grandmother resurfacing and Angel sticking his butt into her business again, it just seemed like to much, and it was. She was only 23; she wasn’t ready for this or for anything really. Something was wrong with her and she didn’t know how to handle it or what to do about it.
But then there was Angel, who always seemed to have the answers; who would swoop down and save her from the nasty demons that were catching up with her. Fully opening her eyes and stretching her arms over her head, she pulled down the covers and sat up in bed. The blinds were closed and Angel was nearly dozed off, his head dropping every few seconds.
“Dennis…” She whispered into vacant air above her bed. A tissue made it so Cordelia knew he was there, floating in front of her face.
“Can you get my robe?” She asked again, the silky white coat floating over to her from her half packed suitcase in the corner.
“Thank you.” She whispered again, grabbing the silk and wrapping it around her bare shoulders. Step by step she made it to the bathroom, hoping that a shower would do her good. Waterfalls down her back, warm to the nerves and her mind. The steam rising cleared her sinuses and her thoughts. Well, most of them anyhow.
Maybe it was the steam that was playing with her or the scent of the new shower gel she had gotten, but of all the things that happened within the last month just seemed to be the worst. Or at least that was what her stomach was telling her. Quickly turning off the shower, she fumbled out of the bathtub and was head first into the toilet. She never got sick, never. The last time she was actually ‘sick’ was tenth grade when someone who was to remain nameless gave her the infamous kissing disease. She was in the hospital for three days and out of school for three more. Ever since then she had been the first candidate for the Marines and now…now she was sick? She didn’t know; all she knew was that she wanted to go back to bed and that was not normal. Definitely not normal.
* * *
Doctors. What kind of doctor? He didn’t know where to start, much less end. Angel squinted his eyes against the bright yellow pages and sat down at the kitchen table. She had been in the bathroom for over an hour and as soon as she got out and saw what he was doing, he knew that there would be another discussion about him saving her. As much talking as they did last night, he still didn’t understand this concept of saving her. Flipping through the numerous pages, he finally found one that proved interesting at the best.
Specializing in abnormal cases. Abnormal? Well, this was as abnormal as it was going to get. Dennis glided over a cup of blood and Angel gladly took it.
“Thank you Dennis.” He told the ghost and took the cup from mid-air, taking a gulp of it. What was he doing? He was acting like a husband worried about his wife who didn’t even know she was pregnant. Husband. That was a weird thing to think but then again, he kind of liked the idea of that as well. The door slammed down the hallway, alerting Angel to the arrival of the one and only Princess Cordelia.
Was this it? His opportune moment to tell her that she was pregnant but that if she took an at home test it would come back negative. He didn’t know, but maybe Dennis did. Or maybe Fred, Gunn, Wesley, or Lorne knew. Hopefully one of them did, because he had no clue how to handle this. He had had a child once, but now he was gone, wiped away into a dark hell dimension by time traveler with a thirst for vengeance. Of course, he didn’t want to dwell on that.
Maybe this was his second chance at having a child. Of course it wasn’t his biological child, but maybe just maybe Cordelia would…no, never mind. Thinking to hard again, Angel. He knocked his head with his fist, checking for any loose bolts knocked loose by the thought of Cordelia’s lips on his. Her bare arms slipped around his shoulders and her attention shot to the yellow pages exposed.
“What’s going on Angel?” A confused look came upon her brow as the chair slipped out from under the table courtesy of the friendly phantom that both of them were grateful for.
“Uh…” What was he supposed to say? Oh yea, Cordy, I’m in love with you and last night while you were sleeping I heard two heartbeats. Yea, that would go over well. Then she would ask how he knew. Hello: vampire hearing, a great asset that if he turned human tomorrow, he would miss dearly. Especially when it came to Cordelia and overhearing her conversations with Fred. He ease drop every now and then to hear them giggling about girl stuff, fashion by Cordy’s choice, boys and food by Fred’s choice. It was funny, really, he remembered one conversation very well, like it was yesterday.
“Cordy, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Fred.” Cordy leaned forward and propped her elbows up on the desk. Closing the fashion magazine before her, she pulled her full attention to the shy girl she had taken under her wing.
“About this shanshu thing, what do you think he would do first?”
“Him, personally? I don’t really know. I suppose he would go back to Buffy. But I can’t speak for him, sweetie.”
“What would you do, you know, if this shanshu thing happened tomorrow?” Fred asked, leaning forward in the chair, her every move depending on the seer in front of her. He could see Cordy out of the corner of his eye, her thinking about what she would do. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at her apprentice, searching for an answer deep in her heart and soul.
“I’d take him to the beach. I remember this one time, when Doyle was still around and Angel had gotten this ring which enabled a vampire to go out into the sunlight without you know, bursting into flames and becoming a crispy critter. He was so happy that day. Well, not perfectly happy, but happy. You know, two hundred years between sunsets is a long time. And seeing your boss and best friend in the sun, is kind of a good feeling. Too bad he had to smash it, we could’ve had normal business hours.”
“Kyerumption.”
“Fred, what did we say about that word?”
“Sorry, it’s just well…sorry.”
“Angel? Earth to Angel?” Cordelia waved her hand in front of his blank staring face. Shaking out of his recollection of the conversation, he clasped her hand and pulled it up to his lips. Kissing the lightly bronzed tone that was her skin, he didn’t feel the need to let go. She probably had the urge to yank it back and knock him upside the head, but she didn’t.
“Angel, what’s going on?” Her voice faltered, concerned why exactly he was giving her the silent treatment. It wasn’t like the silent treatment was odd or anything because he did give her or one of the other members of their family the silent treatment at least once a week. Deep breath aside, he hoped he had enough courage to tell her what had been running through his mind since last night.
Faint smile headed her way was over, but then came the hard part: telling her.
“I need to tell you something…”
Part 3
“I wonder what’s keeping them.” Fred pondered, her chin propped up in the cup of her hand, elbow on the counter. Gunn and Wes looked at her, still flipping through the channels on the miniature television that Wes had stashed.
It had been three days since Angel set up the appointment for Cordelia and she went kicking and screaming all the way there. She didn’t want to go, let alone believe that it was true. But then again, Angel had his super vampire hearing and could hear almost anything and everything.
“Fred, stop wondering and just call.” Gunn told her, stopping at the classic Road Runner vs. Wile E. Coyote rivalry cartoon on television. It was small, but it was still funny.
“I’m not going to call. I’ll probably interrupt.” She told him, swirling in her chair and starting at him.
“Interrupt what?”
“Their fight.”
“How do you know they’ll be fighting?”
“When have you ever known Cordelia and Angel not to fight and hello, kyerumption.”
“Sugar pie…” Lorne called to her, sipping his sea breeze and looking over the latest entertainment magazine that had come in the mail only yesterday.
“Oh, sorry. I used that word again.”
“You can use it around us. Just not them.” Lorne told her, smiling his bright white teeth and red lips over at her. It was strange really, when Cordelia and Angel weren’t fighting they were joking with each other.
As long as Fred had known them, and that wasn’t for long, she had come to know that they were the best friends, the unbreakable duo that stood through everything together and whenever possible, liked to play practical jokes on Wesley and Lorne.
It was funny, she remembered, when Cordelia had volunteered herself to cut Wesley’s hair. Using Angel as a witness, Gunn, Fred and he watched as the scissors skimmed across Wesley’s then curly hair and made it into a Mohawk.
“I just hope she’s okay.” Fred said aloud, returning to her book and dismissing the fantasy in her mind that Angel and Cordelia were back at her apartment making out like a couple of teenagers.
* * *
Black leather coat hung on her shoulders, followed by a man’s strong hand and the small of her back. It felt good having him there with her, and also unnerving knowing that he knew even before she did. How could this be possible? Well, she knew how-how, but not how.
Pregnant. Eight Weeks. Heartbeat. Another life. In her body. How was she going to do this? How the hell was this possible? She couldn’t be pregnant, she just couldn’t.
What on earth was she going to do? Dennis opened the door two seconds before Angel’s hand reached to open it for them. She walked in slowly, head hung down as she headed straight for the couch. Angel followed her, staying close and true to his seer that she thought he really didn’t need anymore.
“Cordy…”
“You can’t save me now, can you?” Her tearful eyes looked up into his sympathetic chocolate ones, hoping for a way; a way to make everything alright. He didn’t say anything, but just pulled her body into his and kissed her forehead.
Then more tears came, and he wanted to make it go away if she wanted it to go away, he wanted to make it all better, like a champion was supposed to do. But all he did was hold her, because that’s what she wanted and that’s all he could do for the moment.
Part 4
It was nonsense, right? Complete and total nonsense. She shouldn’t even be thinking about it. But she was. She knew she wasn’t ready to have a baby, let alone raise one. It had been a different deal with Connor, she was an ‘aunt’ not a ‘mom’. She packed up a few more things and shut the suitcase tight.
She was just going to visit this grandmother, she reminded herself. Visit. With Angel. Boy, would that go over well when she would ask her ‘grandmother’ to close all the drapes and blinds, covering the sun from burning her champion to bitter dust. Then would come the discussion of ‘what have you been doing with your life?’ and ‘what kind of job do you have?’ and the big one, ‘are you seeing anyone?’
“Whatcha doing?” Cordelia jumped a little, not expecting to hear Fred’s petite voice behind her. Turning, she saw her apprentice with a great big smile on her face and questions on her mind. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t.
“Hi Fred.” Cordy whispered up to her, sitting on a bare space of floral comforter that was placed upon her bed. Planting her head and welling up tears in her hands, she absolutely knew she couldn’t do this; having a baby, visiting a long-lost grandmother and asking for money.
She needed Angel, wrapping his big strong arms around her, telling her everything will be alright. At least that made it more bearable.
“Do you need any help?” Fred took a seat beside Cordelia, placing her skinny little hand upon the back of her shoulder, consoling her friend like a sister.
“I’ll be fine, Fred.” Cordelia pulled her hands to the edge of the bed and forced out a smile, not really meaning any of the words that had come out of her mouth.
“Cordy, everything will be alright.”
“How do you know Fred? How could you positively know that everything is going to be alright?” She asked the slender brunette, sitting beside her. Fred scooped her legs up on the bed, sitting Indian style and facing her. She grabbed Cordelia’s hand and squeezed them tight.
“Because you’re Cordelia Chase, the strongest, most beautiful woman in Los Angeles. And you can get through anything.”
Although her words were encouraging, Cordelia still felt uneasy and unsure of everything. And why shouldn’t she? Groo left her pregnant, a long-lost grandmother suddenly appears and wants to see her, and…she didn’t know what else, but as long as things were like this, she knew there would be something else.
“How do you know that Fred? How?” Cordelia dipped her head back down, cradling her noggin with her hands.
“Because if you can get through almost three years with Mr. Broody, Captain Research, and whatever kind of nickname that I can't think of for Gunn, then you can get through anything. And you want a bonus?”
“What’s that?”
“You got me.” Fred assured her, brushing over Cordelia’s chestnut hair and taking her in a hug. She wasn’t going to let her role model down. And she was right, she knew she was. Cordelia Chase could get through anything.
* * *
There she was. Walking back into the hotel with Fred at her side. Suitcases were set down and Fred ushered Cordelia to the round sofa in the middle of the lobby. Was this the right thing to do? He prayed to God that it was.
Funny though, he hadn’t prayed to God or any other deity in over a hundred years, not counting the Drusilla scandal in Angelus’ past, but he felt the need to pray for this. For her, for that life inside of her. For all of them. She was greeted by her family, Lorne kissing her cheek and rubbing her stomach.
Yea, that was going to go over well. Gunn just hugged her and let her feel the comfort in his arms. Fred was still by her side when it was Wesley’s turn. That was the most tear-jerking reunion that anyone could imagine. He held her, like a brother to a sister who was hurting, who was in pain, who was in need of answers that no one had. His vampire hearing came in handy again, as he heard what was to be a private conversation between them.
“Hi.” Wesley whispered into her ear.
“Hi.” She whispered back, still leaning her head onto his chest.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” She lifted her head then, and took a step back to see her watery eyes mimicked by hers. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” She choked back the tears that were going to fall any minute now.
“Sure you are.” Wesley pulled her back into his arms and Angel heard her start to cry. This was it; this was all he could do. He couldn’t take the pain away, he didn’t want to take the baby away from her, and he didn’t want to do anything but be with her.
In some weird way, he could imagine her with him for the rest of their lives. He had always thought of Buffy as the one he wanted to be with, but that wasn’t the case at all. It was Cordelia who kept him from slipping back into the darkness, it was her who still believed in him after all they had been through. Shaking his head, he was drawn back into his bedroom to finish his packing.
Gretchen Chase, grandmother to Cordelia, once presumed dead was now begging to see her only granddaughter. What she really wanted, nor Angel or Cordelia didn’t know. So they were going to find out and then just slip the news out that Cordelia was pregnant. Maybe she had money, they didn’t know that either, all they knew was she wanted to see her and Angel was going with her. Okay, suitcase done. Black pants, black shirts, black boxers, black socks. Yep, that should do it.
Sitting down on the bed, he pulled his hands to his face again, rubbing away the sleepiness that was running through his veins. He wanted to protect her, wanted to save her. There we go again, with the saving. What was it about saving her that was so bad? He didn’t think there was anything wrong with saving her, maybe he wanted to save her too much.
Three knocks on his door made him divert his attention to Lorne gracing his presence with a bright blue suit on.
“Didn’t you wear that yesterday?” Lorne asked, leaning in his room but not budging from his current stance.
“Spill it now.”
“Spill what?” Lorne asked gaining a death glare from Angel. “Okay, okay.” Lorne held his hands up in defeat, walking into the large estate like room and taking a seat in Angel’s Alice-in-Wonderland chair. He was going to talk, but instead he just stared, looking into Angel’s flashy soul.
“Lorne!”
“Hold on just a minute buster. What are you thinking?” Lorne leaned forward, clasping his hands together and tried to make eye contact with the dark avenger. “Angel?”
“What Lorne?” Angel threw his hands up in the air and started to pace the floor between the bed and the chair. He was tired of holding it in, all the emotions he was holding inside for the sake of Cordelia. He didn’t want to fall apart with her, in front of her.
“I don’t know what to do anymore. When she hurts, I hurt. When she cries, I want to cry with her.” Angel paused, looking at the empathy for any kind of answer, but Lorne gave him nothing. “I just want…want…I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“Sure you do. It’s staring you right in the face, Angel.”
“Well it isn’t you.” Angel responded sarcastically, still adjusting to having some of his thoughts and emotions out of his head and into Lorne’s instead.
“No, it’s not. And I’m not going to give you an answer to the million questions zooming in and out of your head. I’m not going to tell you that everything will be alright, because frankly, I don’t know that. You know what you need to do.” Lorne stood up, patting him on the back and exiting the room quickly, leaving Angel to contemplate even more questions running through his head. He didn’t want to deal with this. Not now. All he wanted right now was to get Cordelia in his Plymouth and drive until they reached Tacoma.
Grabbing his suitcase and his watch off of the side table, he quickly scrambled out of the room wanting to get to Cordy. His Cordy.
The scent of her gardenia fragrance was enchanting. He could smell it from the stairwell and it was getting stronger with every step he took, enticing his senses and arousing him in ways that only she could arose him. This was not normal. Sure, he had had feelings for her for a long time, but then Groo came back and ruined his master plan of romancing Cordelia. He never thought that the Groosalugg would leave. He was Cordelia’s dream man, a champion, warrior, all around good guy from a hell dimension. Okay Angel, snap out of it. It’s Cordelia. Your Cordelia.
Shaking his head again, no, no, and double no. Finally setting his suitcase next to hers, he heard her talking to the gang about what was going to happen.
“We’ll only be a day or two. Hopefully.”
“I think we’ll manage.” Gunn butted in, probably hurting Cordy’s feelings a bit. Angel wanted to bust in there and bust up Gunn’s bottom jaw for saying that. Cool down Angel, he reminded himself. This was going to be easy. Very easy.
Go in and get Cordy, say goodbye and hit the road. All without him imagining last night’s encounter, which he wasn’t going to go back into. Yea, that would be easy. The very thought of it made him remove his jacket and hold it in front of him. She had looked so…beautiful, there was no other way to describe her. Long silk robe covering her for now slender figure, standing in front of the sink, putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. He remembered coming up behind her, so quietly, and tracing the back of her neck with his index finger. The feelings were definitely back and he didn’t want to hide them any longer. Only problem was that this was probably the worst time to bring them up. Okay, enough of that. Enough!
“Lorne, is Angel coming?” He heard her ask the green demon.
“I’m here.” He shouted from the lobby, Cordelia getting up and heading out to him. “Are you ready?”
“Actually…” Cordelia looked back to the gang and then back to him, clasping his hand in hers. “I’m kind of hungry and I wanted to have dinner.”
“We can do that.”
“All of us, having dinner. Diner down the street.”
“Sounds good.” Angel told her, his left hand rubbing the side of her arm, and the other reaching for the back of head. He pulled her closer and placed a kiss upon her forehead.
Change of plans: get Cordelia, have ‘family’ dinner, say goodbye, then hit the road.
“Uh, I think I’ll stay behind.” Lorne spoke up, not knowing the diner down the street was accustomed to anything and every kind of demon there was.
“No you won’t. Make a pregnant lady happy and come with us.” Cordelia slipped out of Angel’s embrace and took a hold of Lorne before he could bolt. Lorne looked from Angel to Fred to Gunn to Wes and back to Angel again, pleading and begging for them to help him.
“You heard the lady.” Gunn finally said, waiting on Lorne to look Cordelia in the eyes and try to tell her no. Without any words, Cordelia hooked her other arm into Fred’s and started to walk out the door, followed by the gentlemen. She was going to be a mother, Angel realized. She was perfect for the job, heck she was practically the mother figure of their family, and that made her perfect for the job.
Walking side by side with Wesley and Gunn, he couldn’t help but stare at her. Dinner was a good idea. He didn’t eat much being a vampire and all, but food, sounded good.
Continue on...