Title: A Claim on Living
Author: Jaywalker
Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss.
Spoilers: Up to Heartthrob.
Rating: PG
Notes: It's been an age since I wrote a fic so apologies if this one reads rusty :J Its set back in Heartthrob, as an extra to the ep if you like. Can be read as a companion piece to my fic Beginnings, this fic is a closure to that one. Read and feed if you feel like it, I'm always hungry for feedback.

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Something stirred in the foyer.

Startled, Cordelia lifted her head from Wesley's book strewn-desk and listened intently.

There was something out there.

A chill settling in the pit of her stomach, Cordelia eased her chair backwards and gingerly rose to her feet. Her eyes flickered upward, her thoughts briefly resting with Fred above.

Whatever it is, it can't reach her. She can't fight it off.

And you can?

Cordelia paused at that unsettling thought, a breath hitching in her throat as she scanned the desktop surface.

Something hard, something hard…

Grabbing the nearest solid object, the young seer edged her way around the desk, her wine sneakers squeaking out her cautious path. Cordelia eased her way forward, every muscle tightening, readying for battle, horror growing as the door handle slid downward. She blinked and in that half breath, the door was open revealing a dark shadow hovering in the dimly lit entrance. Resisting the growing urge to stumble back to the sanctuary of Wesley's desk, Cordelia forced herself to lurch forward and hurl her weapon at the intruder. It had left her hand and was hurtling though the air, accompanied by a shrieked threat of sorts when reality registered and she recognized…

"Angel," Cordelia greeted him, breathless relief in her voice.

Her friend winced as the snowstorm bounced off his knee and slid to the floor. He glanced down at the forlornly inept weapon rolling at his feet. "New battle technique?" the vampire enquired humorlessly, shouldering off his coat.

His seer opened her mouth and promptly closed it again, settling for a bashful smile. "I thought you were someone else." "Something else," Cordelia amended as she turned to reclaim her chair. "I heard some shady sounding vampy feet walking around out there and I…"

"Automatically assumed such feet couldn't possibly belong to me, so you decided to take on what I presume you considered was a potentially dangerous threat with a," Angel paused to squint at the glass object now nestling at his left shoe, "snowstorm?"

"You know, in polite society it's considered rude to finish people's sentences." Cordelia informed the vampire sharply as she dropped into the leather chair. She curled her feet beneath her and shifted into a more comfortable position. "And its not like we *never* have dangerous vampires walk into the place." She mimicked an expression of deep thought, "Let me see, last time it happened was… oh yeah, today."

"Exactly, and if this," Angel swept a dismissive hand at the snowstorm, a sudden quiet anger gripping his voice, "is anything to go by, you haven't learned all that much from your carelessness then."

The room deadened beneath a blanket of silence. Breaking it, Cordelia rose from the chair, her gaze icily brittle. "If you'll excuse me," she said coldly, her eyes boring mercilessly into the vampire, "I'll take myself and my carelessness out of your sight." She practically spat each word, her lips tightened with fury.

Energy draining from his burly frame, Angel watched her fling items into her bag, every movement fuelled by a bristling temper. He half smiled at the sight of her, cross and unpredictable.

*First Cordy rage. I really am home*.

Greatly comforted by that thought, Angel shifted forward. "Cordelia."

She ignored him and instead began piling the open books into a neat stack.

"Cordelia," Angel tried again, "I didn't mean that. Really I didn't."

She glared at him, her chin jerking up defiantly.

"I'm sorry." Angel said softly, meaning it.

Placing her dramatic exit on momentary hold, Cordelia gazed searchingly at the vampire, scanning his face silently.

No-one looks at me the way she does, Angel mused to himself whimsically, she looks right at me.

She was evidently satisfied by his apparent remorse for Cordelia dropped her bag to the desk. "Then what gives?"

Angel stepped back, his hands raised helplessly. "I don't know," he offered awkwardly, "I just over reacted and was…"

"Extremely rude." Cordelia interrupted as she followed him toward the couch.

Angel glanced at her wryly. "I thought," he said, sitting back into the leather cushions, "Finishing someone else's sentence was…"

"No," Cordelia said firmly, "We're not wandering off the beaten track this time." There was a strange harshness in her voice that made him look up, look at her. She stood before him, half biting her lip.

"Cordelia."

"You can't just come in here in a temper, take it out on me and then go back to being jokey funny Angel." She fidgeted, her hands in her pockets, then out again. "That's what got me that being fired business last year and we're not playing it that way anymore." Cordelia paused to conquer the emotion that was strangling her voice. "So," she continued with soft resolve, "You need to tell me what's going on Angel. Is it Buffy?"

Grief enveloped the vampire, a familiar wave of sorrow momentarily swamping him. Angel waited as it crashed through his being, leaving him in the lull of quiet recovery. He swallowed and lifted pained eyes to meet her own. "No," he said. "It's not Buffy." The lie tasted sour on his tongue. He examined his palms, turning one, then the other as he admitted quietly. "Its her."

Cordelia nodded slowly, her face softening with shared sorrow. "Angel."

Angel raised a hand, his turn to silence her. "It is about Buffy but not in the way that you think. Losing Buffy…" Grit sank into the vampire's voice, a dull pain flickering in his eyes. "Losing her made me see." Angel stared unwaveringly at his seer, truth beating its way through his lips. "I've lost her Cordelia. She's gone and there's nothing, nothing I can do about it. I've spent these past months trying to find some way to understand that." He shrugged, his eyes bright with feeling. "I can't, I can't understand any of it." Angel leaned forward fervently, "And in the middle of missing her so badly, I remembered."

Cordelia unfolded her arms. "Remembered?"

"Why she did it," Angel explained lowly. "Buffy died to protect Dawn and the others. I may not understand why it happened but I sure as hell understand why Buffy did it. I know now, what it is to protect the people you care about. Buffy's death…" Angel trailed off, his head bent, his confession deep, "Showed me what I have to live for." He laughed low and hollow. "I've been able to do in her death what I never could in life."

Aching for him, Cordelia managed, " What's that Angel?"

Her friend looked up, his eyes damp and honest. "Let her go," he murmured softly, "I've finally let her go."

Cordelia hunkered down, her hands reaching for his own. "Angel," she said gently, "You don't have to rush it, you can take more time…"

His eyes drifted to her face and Angel marveled at the affection there. "I don't need it," he answered firmly, "I miss Buffy. I could have drowned in missing her and regretting her and hating myself for not being there but I won't. When Buffy died, I was exactly where I am supposed to be. Protecting my own. I know what I'm here for Cordelia. To fight this damn fight and take care of my people. Pure and simple."

Cordelia smiled slightly. "Don't tell me you're going back to being Mr. Work all day, Sleep all night boy again, are you? Just when I was trying to inspire interests in food and theatre and…"

"I'm not going to go back to sitting in the dark if that’s what you're thinking. I have my own world to live in and life for," Angel returned her smile. It vanished immediately, replaced by a look of sudden determination. "Problem is, my world has this habit of putting itself in danger."

"Excuse me," Cordelia answered testily, sensing the conversation was about to take a turn she wouldn't enjoy, "Your world can look after herself just fine."

Angel raised an enquiring eyebrow. "And today was an example of that, was it?"

Innocence shimmered in Cordelia's eyes. "Today worked out fine didn't it?" Disentangling her hands from his grasp, she rose and moved away. "Nobody got hurt…badly."

"If you consider being chased half way around the city by a psychotic vampire a good day, well then yes, today was a resounding success." "On the other hand," Angel continued, following Cordelia out of the office, "You might consider taking a leaf out of Fred's book."

Cordelia whirled around. "Fred?" she repeated with a tight smile. "Which leaf exactly? The one where I'm wacky or the one where I'm wacky?"

"The one where you do as you're asked." Angel informed her smoothly. He brushed past her and strolled into the main office, pausing to inspect the contents of the fridge.

"Do as I'm…" Cordelia paced after him, indignation pounding in every step. "Look, "Mr. I've been meditating in the mountains so long I've forgotten what it is to interact with women from the twenty-first century, I *don't* do being told."

"You don't say," Angel answered dryly, frowning at a container of rapidly congealing blood. Slamming the door closed, he turned to find an infuriated associate standing in front of him. "I'm not asking you to jump at every command," he said in a placating tone, "I'm just asking you to listen to me in a crisis, do as I ask without questioning me or arguing with me or analyzing why I'm doing something…" Angel placed his hands on her shoulders, "Just do it, okay?"

"No, okay." Cordelia answered, shaking his hands from her shoulders, "Definitely no to the okay. Angel, I am not a puppy all right? I have a fully functioning, mostly logical mind and it thinks. And it's going to tell you what it thinks. That’s never going to change."

"I'm not saying that…"

"And furthermore," Cordelia poked an accusatory finger at his chest, "You don't get to call the shots all the time. I get that you're the strong fighty type and I… well mostly, I'm the shrieking and snowstorm-throwing type but you need me."

The vampire tilted his head back, searching the ceiling for inspiration. "I do," he said finally, "I do need you but I mostly need you to be safe Cordelia. I can't lose anyone else."

Cordelia rolled her eyes, "You're not going to lose me."

"I could have," Angel interrupted forcefully, "Today, in here, on the subway, I could have lost you. That’s not good enough. We need to be clear on this Cordelia because I'm not risking having you here if I can't guarantee you'll listen when I need you to."

Cordelia stared at him stubbornly. "I'm not hiding every time a boogieman lands in here."

"Then I can't have you here."

A considered silence fell upon the pair, the stand-off stretching into minutes.

"Fine," Cordelia snapped at last, folding her arms tightly.

Nodding gratefully at her less than gracious surrender, Angel turned in relief and headed towards the computer.

"You'll just have to train me."

He paused mid step. "What?"

"Train me."

Angel turned to find Cordelia air miming a battle.

"You know, how to kick, how to box. The basics so I can take care of myself and…"

"Not a chance."

"Its your choice. Either I stay here and argue every time a bad guy tries to kill us or you train me."

His hands digging into his pockets, Angel surveyed her closely. She was serious.

"You're serious," he echoed the thought in desperation.

Cordelia nodded, "One hundred per cent."

The vampire leaned back against the edge of his desk and was tempted not for the first time to place an obedience enchantment on Cordelia Chase. Life would certainly be a whole lot easier, he thought ruefully as he returned his gaze to the seer who stood, hands behind her back, sparkling with enthusiasm. Watching her, motion seemed to suddenly slow around him and he was caught by her image, smiling and vibrant. He had to keep her safe, one way or another, he had to keep her.

"All right," he agreed slowly, "We'll do it."

Cordelia smiled excitedly, "Of course we'll do it. I want to start with the swords…"

"We're not starting with swords."

She frowned, "See? I can already tell you're not going to take this seriously. You'll just rent some ninja movie and tell me to watch it. Oh yeah, humor Cordy and then shout at her in battle and expect her to run away and…"

Pushing himself off the desk, Angel waved her away with a strained smile. "Should have bought the damn enchantment," he muttered to himself on the way out, the indignant words of his best friend ringing in his ears.

Gunn slammed the basement door, pausing to witnessing the scene. "Hey man," he greeted Angel at the staircase, a slow grin sliding onto his face. "Cordelia talking, Angel walking. Feel like you're home now."

Angel half turned to watch Cordelia grumble her way back into Wesley's office.

"Actually," he murmured, "It feels just like I got my life back."