TITLE: Protected
AUTHOR: illusion
POSTED: 11-28-2004
EMAIL: alliekat17@hotmail.com
RATING: R for language and violence.
CATEGORY: BtVS Season 3. Angst.
CONTENT: C/A. Maybe minor B/A? Hopefully not too much though, if any.
SUMMARY: People from Angel’s life before Sunnydale are threatened, and Angel will do everything in his power to keep them safe, with help from an unlikely place.
SPOILERS: Season 3 of BtVS, up to ‘Lover’s Walk’. B/A are broken up, C/X are broken up, W/O are sorting things out. Wes and Faith are non-existent. Sorry, I just couldn’t work them in. This story takes place AU a few weeks after the events of ‘Lover’s Walk’, after Cordy’s all healed.
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, they’re not mine. I can always wish… Where’s Anyanka when you need her?
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere, just ask.
NOTES: This is just a silly little ‘what-if’ that popped into my head and refused to leave. Also, I’m going to alter the events in Angel’s history a little. I’ll go into more detail when it comes up – don’t want to spoil my evil designs.
FEEDBACK: Do I really need to ask? Okay. Pretty, pretty, pretty, PRETTY please?
AUTHOR’S THANKS & DEDICATION: Thank you so much to Amanda for all of your advice, patience and support, and for inspiring me and encouraging me to write again. It really means a lot to me. And thank you to everyone who has left feedback and asked for more.
Part 4
The main room of the library was deathly silent.
Angel’s despairing gaze flickered briefly across the room’s occupants as he moved back around the bench, stopping a few feet from the central study table. Buffy and Xander had joined the group there, and all had been waiting nervously for him to return from the office. The Slayer sat on the other side of Willow, while Xander had drawn up a seat next to her at the end of the table. The Watcher was leaning against the railing at the base of the stairs, obviously still mulling over the overload of information he’d already received that night.
And if Rupert Giles realized what was happening, Angel knew that he might have to kill him.
He hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but only for Buffy’s sake, for her friends. The vampire wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever was necessary to protect the little girl and her father. He’d promised Emily that he would protect them, and he didn’t care what it took to keep them safe. He never had.
Angel pushed away his defensive thoughts as his eyes settled on Cordelia and the child beside her. Having wiped away her tears, Cordelia’s face was a mask of courage, self-assurance, and purpose, determined not to let her worry show. But her warm hazel eyes betrayed the depth of her compassion, her concern, and her anger at whoever had hurt Emily and her daughter. Angel almost smiled. That she could feel such instant affection for the little girl that was still very much a stranger to her, such fury on her behalf, told the vampire that Cordelia Chase was a very special young woman. An amazing spirit that he wanted to protect, and know more of.
The smaller brunette was again holding tightly to Cordelia’s hand, and watching Angel intently with sad, knowing blue eyes. He walked slowly over to them until he stood in front of the little girl’s chair, before dropping heavily to his knees. Mind already mostly numb, he didn’t even acknowledge the pain that shot up his powerful thighs as his knees banged against the unforgiving linoleum; he only settled wearily back on his heels.
The little girl let go of Cordelia’s hand and slipped off her seat, crawling onto Angel’s lap and curling up against his broad chest. Immediately, the vampire’s arms enveloped her in a loving, protective embrace, and she couldn’t help but relax a little. She was safe. Warm, despite the coolness of Angel’s body. Almost home, wrapped up in his arms, and her father’s jacket. She just wanted her Daddy to be here with them now. Her Mommy…
Lifting her head from where it laid against his chest, the kid looked up into Angel’s dark brown eyes, her own glistening with unshed tears. “Mommy was tired,” she said quietly to him.
The vampire held her closer, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple. “It’s okay, baby. She’s sleeping now,” he told her, knowing she already understood that her Mommy would never wake up. And he hated it. He hated that she was still so very young, a baby, innocent, and she had already lost her mother, and her sibling. Worse, he hated that she understood why. That she was acquainted with death at such a young age. He wished she’d never had to know it at all. But all he could do now was make damn sure that she didn’t lose her father as well. Neither he, nor her father, would ever leave this young girl.
Nodding at his response, the child’s crystalline-blue eyes glanced at the again closed door behind the counter, and then returned to Angel above her. “I’m scared, Angel,” she admitted, her words almost a whisper, more tears slipping down her small cheeks. “Mommy’s alone. I don’t want Mommy to be alone.”
Angel had to rip his gaze away from her beseeching face before he too started crying again. As he raised his face to the ceiling, he clenched his eyes shut, and swallowed hard against the emotion choking his throat. Emily’s token slipped from his fingers, and he moved his large hands up to cup the back of the girl’s small head, lowering his face down beside hers until his lips rested beside her tiny ear. His voice was almost inaudible as he spoke, but he knew she would hear every word, and this was for her alone.
“You don’t have to be afraid, sweetheart, because your Mommy isn’t alone. Your parents love you so much. And they were gonna have another baby, to love just as much as they love you,” he whispered to her, desperately fighting back stinging tears. “Your little baby brother, or baby sister, was growing in your Mommy’s tummy, and now, the baby is sleeping too. So you don’t have to be afraid, okay? ‘Cause your little brother or sister will make sure that your Mommy will never be alone.”
Little arms stretched upward, circling around his neck, and the child hugged him tightly. “Okay,” she whispered in reply. “I won’t be afraid.”
Angel reached up a hand to quickly brush away the wetness that was starting to escape his eyes, and then moved his head back to look into the girl’s eyes again. “Will you do one more thing for me, darlin’?” he asked her, a faint Irish burr unconsciously slipping back into his voice. He retrieved her mother’s token from the floor where it had fallen, and held it up for her to see. “Will you hold onto this for me?”
When she instantly nodded, he slipped the two ends of the chain around behind her neck, and she lifted her limp hair to allow him to fasten it in place. Emily’s token fell lower than that of her own necklace, dipping almost beneath her pale yellow pajamas so that the cool metal rested against her breastbone. The vampire kissed her cheek tenderly once more as he moved back, getting a brief smile from the child. Then, he wrapped his arms around her and stood, rising gracefully from the floor and holding her with ease on his hip, while she laid her head tiredly against his shoulder.
And finally, he lifted his gaze away from her.
It didn’t move far though, shifting from one brunette to another. Cordelia Chase felt the gathering moisture in her eyes trickle down her cheeks as the vampire’s intense gaze settled upon her face. In it, she couldn’t even begin to comprehend the vast depths of his gratitude.
Angel stumbled over the right words to express his thankfulness and relief to Cordelia for taking care of the child now giving in to her exhaustion in his arms, but nothing was powerful enough. Nothing could properly tell Cordelia how indebted to her he was. So – succinct and direct it was.
“Thanks for looking after my girl.”
His words were minimal, yet the emotion behind them was anything but, and Cordy almost laughed at the simplicity of it. She grinned at him – the full megawatt one that she reserved for very few – despite her tears. “No problem!” she replied brightly, and just as simply.
Lips almost curling into a small smile, Angel nodded his dark head once. By the time he turned his gaze onto the rest of the group, the trace of amusement was gone. He spoke before the Watcher or teens could demand answers to any one of the multitude of questions rampaging through their minds, and though his words were again soft, none could find a voice to interrupt him.
“I need your help.” Candor had gotten him this far, after all. The vampire just wasn’t used to being so honest with these people. He took a mental deep breath before he resumed. “I can’t trust you. I won’t trust you, not with… ‘my girl’,” he added, adopting the affectionate moniker he had used for the little girl with Cordelia. “But I need your help.”
Giles barked out a bitter laugh. “And you expect us--?!”
“I ‘expect’ nothing!” The words were snarled out with such vehemence that they abruptly halted the Watcher’s incredulous tirade. Angel couldn’t blame the man for his reaction – had expected it, after what he’d done to Giles. But at the moment, he just didn’t care. “I’m asking for her!” His head nodded down to the little girl in his arms, who, in spite of the growling demon holding her, was drifting peacefully to sleep, eyelids fluttering heavily. “Her family is being hunted! But she’s innocent in this, Watcher. Her mother, was innocent…” He turned his head away from them as he trailed off, furiously blinking back fresh tears, before he was able to continue. “Her father was innocent, but he’s had to do things that he should never have had to find out he was capable of, to protect his family.” Angel paused, released a world-weary sigh from his dead lungs, continued again. “I won’t trust you with anything more than that, because I won’t risk endangering my girl more than she already is. So it’s a simple question, Rupert – will you help me protect her, or not?”
For long moments, silence filled the library once more. Giles kept his gaze locked with the vampire’s as he warily went over everything Angel had chosen to divulge to them. There were still so many things that deeply troubled him about this, too many unanswered questions. Who was the woman in his office, and what had actually happened to her? What was her, and her child’s, association to Aurelius? And their ties to Angel? Who was hunting the little girl’s family? Why? Why did the little girl need their protection…?
The final question that was raised by his overactive thoughts made him pause, and he realized that Angel had actually answered that one – she was innocent. Did they really need to know any more than that? Could he condemn an innocent child because of his own hatred? Because she cared for the creature that he despised and resented? Giles discovered that those were the questions that truly needed his concern. And now he knew his answer.
When the response to Angel’s query finally came though, Angel was surprised to find that it wasn’t from the Watcher.
“We’ll help.” Willow Rosenberg spoke with fierce determination. Though the meek redhead’s courage often failed her in other aspects of her life, like the prospect of bad grades, speaking up for herself when others put her down, admitting her personal fears and feelings, facing the endless hordes of demons and vampires that were drawn to the Mouth of Hell, frogs… nothing could make her conviction waver when it came to doing what was right. No matter how scared she might still be, she would do what needed to be done to protect the innocent. “Anything she needs, Angel.”
Angel’s eyes flickered momentarily to the teenage girl, and she could see the relief and gratitude in his gaze intensify until the chocolate orbs sparkled wetly from the overwhelming emotions. Next to her, Oz looked at her with a mixture of pride and love on his unusually open face. He squeezed her hand tightly in his own, reassuring her, and silently promising his support.
Tears were yet again blinked away as the vampire quickly refocused on the Watcher, waiting for his refusal, but Giles only lifted his tense jaw defiantly and returned the penetrating stare. Though neither ashamed nor awkward for having asked so much of a man that owed him nothing, that had every right to want his dust scattered upon the ground, Angel replied with only a tight nod and a quiet “thank you.” He knew that anything more than that would not be accepted. Because the only reason Giles had agreed to provide his help was because of the little girl that was in danger, and not because the vampire had asked for the aid.
Giles forcefully bit back the sour taste of resentment that had crawled up his throat, and relaxed the taut muscles of his jaw enough to speak again. “Is there anything that she requires right now?” he inquired with an air of civility so false, it almost made Angel cringe, but the vampire hid the reaction.
“Rest,” Angel informed them. “She’s exhausted. She wouldn’t have slept properly for days.” Four days. Fitful sleeps in dingy motels and the bitterly cold backseat of the car. Irregular meals of fast food and snacks despite a lack of appetite anyway. Infrequent showers and no change of clothes. Constant terror of being found…
Nodding his concurrence, Giles tried to settle his perturbed emotions with the comforting routine of removing and wiping the lenses of his eyeglasses. He withdrew his once immaculately pressed and folded handkerchief, now crumpled at the end of the day from repetitive use, and set about polishing the two curved ovals of glass within their wire frame. “I agree. It’s been a long and distressing day for all of us, and I fear there’s still worse to come,” he murmured, glancing toward his office, his thoughts on the upsetting scene beyond the closed door. He would send his charges home before he finally called the authorities.
Although Angel knew he couldn’t avoid telling Giles about what he had done to Emily indefinitely, he didn’t want her daughter to hear him. Even if Emily had asked it of him, even if it was to protect what was left of her family, the others wouldn’t understand it. And despite all of her trust and acceptance, even her love, the little girl was just too young to comprehend exactly what Angel had done. He’d prevented the child from ever being able to visit her mother’s grave. Taken from her the chance to ever say a proper goodbye, or have a place to go when she just needed to be near the mother that she had lost when she was so young, and remember how much Emily loved her.
There were other things that he needed to say before that admission though, and he went on. “She can’t stay at the Mansion though,” Angel told them. “I can’t risk her being seen in the sole care of a demon. If anyone, or anything, were to notice a child alone with me, she and her father would never be safe.”
“That,” Xander commented dryly, “and the place isn’t even fit for the undead right now, let alone the still living.”
Giles let the sarcastic comment slide, his mind already too full of other fears to puzzle over the boy’s meaning. He was somewhat relieved by Angel’s assertion that the youngster could not stay with him though. Despite her obvious, and disconcerting, comfort around Angel, Giles didn’t want a defenseless child to be left alone in the vampire’s care for any amount of time. “Well then, I suggest that… ‘your girl’,” Giles said, using Angel’s own words in reference to the small girl with no small measure of reservation, “should stay with Buffy--”
Angel couldn’t help the disbelieving laugh that escaped his lips. The sound only made the situation worse, instantly silencing and angering the already uneasy Watcher, and offending his young Vampire Slayer. But again, the vampire just couldn’t bring himself to care. “If there’s anyone that I trust the least right now, it’s you and the Slayer,” Angel admitted without apology. His ex-girlfriend’s blue eyes flashed with hurt and righteous anger, but he wasn’t fazed. “She’s not staying with Buffy.”
At that, Giles raised a dubious eyebrow. His hands paused in their task of cleaning his spectacles, his umbrage causing his long graceful fingers to press together with almost enough force to crack the prescription glass. The man didn’t even try to hide his wry amusement at the thought that Angel might presume Giles himself should allow the child to be kept in his home.
Whatever humorless mirth remaining on Angel’s smirking face drained away. “Not with you either,” he voiced quietly, needlessly.
The younger man’s hands trembled with barely restrained anger as he tried to replace his glasses upon the slender bridge of his nose, missing twice before he gave up in frustration and dropped his hand back to his side. “Indeed. Because you certainly weren’t invited,” came the brusque response.
“Enough!” Cordelia finally shouted, interrupting the intense battle of wills between the man and vampire. Her raised voice caused the little girl to stir against Angel’s shoulder momentarily, before settling again. Cordelia winced, but was glad she had spoken up.
She had determinedly remained silent for the past several long minutes, because she’d already made her own decision to help in any way that she could to protect the child. But this was too much. She was sick of the animosity adding to the already overwrought atmosphere. More than that, she was sick of the testosterone-based pissing-contest. Issues much? The only issue should have been the safety of Angel’s girl.
And that was the problem Cordy had decided to resolve right now. “My parents are away for a few weeks. Angel’s girl can stay with me. You can stay too, Angel.” She added, before Angel could even voice the condition. Giles’ mouth fell open, intent on raising his objections, but the cheerleader wouldn’t allow him the chance. She systematically shot down his protests, too. “No! That’s enough, buster! Angel’s girl needs sleep. We all do. So Angel and his girl are staying with me, and your interrogation of Mr.-Broody-Pants-Vamp can just wait until later, got it?”
More a statement than a question, her words effectively and convincingly informed them all that the topic was closed. For now, at least.
While everyone could only gape at the young woman, vampire included, Cordelia snatched her bag from the table and stood with a protesting squeal of wood on linoleum as her chair jerked back in her haste. She turned to the end of the study table where her ex-boyfriend was seated, and extending her hand in silent request for her car keys. Though startled by the reminder that he still had the objects, Xander immediately dug into the pocket of his baggy trousers to retrieve them. He had barely remembered to properly park her Corvette and lock it, after Angel had leapt out of the vehicle before it had even come to a full stop outside. Xander quickly handed the keys over, despite his own misgivings about letting her leave with the demon she had so nonchalantly invited to be her houseguest. He was more eager to avoid becoming another casualty of the unleashed wrath of Cordelia Chase.
Her heels clicked harshly against the floor as she spun and strode purposefully toward Angel. When she finally came to a stop in front of the stunned vampire, she raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrows at him in stubborn defiance, almost daring him to challenge her.
He couldn’t. He was beyond grateful for her intervention, and especially thankful for her offer, because turning her down just wasn’t an option. There was nowhere else he and his girl could go.
And besides, Angel knew better than to even try to argue with the astounding young woman standing before him.
Her elegant eyebrows arched regally, hazel eyes staring into his obsidian, dauntless and determined and gorgeous. Classic Cordy. He couldn’t deny that there was something both lovely and incredibly sexy about this dark-haired beauty. In the past few minutes he’d learnt more about Cordelia than he had in all the time he had known her, and he realized that he hadn’t known her at all. No one really knew her. She was stunning in her exuberance and her fiery tenacity, sexy in the intensity of her passion, her confidence and even her insolence, yet softly exquisite in her tenderness and compassion. It was a combination that stirred a response in both the vampire and the illusion of the man.
A powerful burning hunger was aroused in his demon as it gazed upon an equal, a challenge. It craved the sensual creature before it, lusting for that lithe body, scorching passion and firebrand personality. Whilst the small taste of humanity that his soul afforded him longed to feel the affection and warmth he’d already seen her display, to discover every captivating aspect of this young woman’s heart and soul. Wanting, needing, her trust and her friendship.
Angel was left reeling in the wake of his sudden and overpowering reaction to this young woman, but he obstinately forced the emotions aside. He couldn’t be thinking of anything but the little girl in his arms right now. Keeping her safe, and ensuring that her father made it back to her. To them.
The child in question was looking up at him now, a pleading look in her fatigued cerulean gaze. He realized that he still hadn’t replied to Cordelia’s ‘offer’, though the cheerleader had certainly made it clear that he didn’t have a choice in the matter. Maybe she had already realized that he really didn’t have any other choice. Either way, Angel finally responded. “Thank you.”
Cordelia beamed cheekily. “Don’t thank me yet. Camilla, our housekeeper, is on holidays with her family at the moment too. You’ll be doing your own laundry and fixing your own O-pos, bub,” she warned him playfully.
Angel smirked, deciding to play along for a while. “I think I’ll manage. I’ve been doing alright on my own for the past century,” he deadpanned. Then he grinned, adding in a sly conspiratorial whisper. “I even know how to work those new-fangled contraptions. What do you call them? ‘Washing machines’?” he joked.
Cordy gave him an exaggerated look, as if impressed. “Wow! Domesticated Vamp. Are you housebroken too? Because you better not make a mess on any of our carpets,” she playfully warned.
Angel was rewarded with another impossibly wide grin when he chuckled in response. He couldn’t help shaking his head in amazement at her perceptiveness, and her natural ability to make him feel at ease. Cordelia had effortlessly diffused the serious and potentially awkward moment. Her sarcastic good-humor and teasing had helped to relieve the tension that had settled across his shoulders, if only slightly, and for that he was all the more grateful to her. He was feeling more and more comfortable around this young woman, which he realized had been the intent of her brief detour in the conversation all along, since he would be staying in her home for an indefinite period of time, and any unease between them would have only made things painfully awkward. Cordelia Chase was definitely full of surprises.
Even as he whispered another thanks though, an impatient cough sounded from the Watcher in front of the table.
With a heavy sigh Angel dropped his gaze back to the girl on his hip, momentarily ignoring Giles. She was finally sleeping, perhaps the most peaceful rest she’d had in days, and Angel was loath to wake her. But he couldn’t put off telling Giles of what he had done any longer, and he desperately didn’t want the child to hear any of it. He cupped the small head resting against his strong shoulder, smoothing his hand over her tangled caramel curls. Kissing her forehead tenderly, he then lowered his lips to her ear. He murmured her name, too softly for anyone to catch, gently coaxing her from her slumber.
Drowsy eyelids twitched in shallow flutters as she yawned and slowly came awake. The little girl was still too tired to lift her head from the comfortable hollow where Angel’s shoulder met the broad expanse of his solid chest, and instead only raised her azure eyes to his chiseled features. Another yawn escaped her. Sleepily, she murmured, “Angel?”
He pressed a loving kiss to her cheek this time. “Shhh, baby. I’m sorry I had to wake you,” he apologized to her, “but I need you to wait with Cordelia again, okay? Just for a little while.”
Reluctantly, she gave a groggy nod of reply and allowed him to set her back down on the floor, but reached up and grabbed his large hand, holding it tightly, unwilling to be parted with him again so soon. Her small pajama-clad legs shook with exhaustion, and she cuddled up next to the vampire’s leg, leaning against the muscular limb to support her own weary body. Angel had to fight back the overpowering urge to immediately lift her back up into his arms where she was safe, and warm, and loved. Where he would let her sleep forever if she wanted to.
But he knew he couldn’t do that. Not yet. Not even after he had spoken to the Watcher. Only when her father was home, and safe, would he allow himself to rest with her.
Angel forced himself to gently move the little girl away from his side, but kept a hold of her warm hand as he wrapped her tighter in her father’s jacket. When he raised his eyes back to Cordelia though, to ask her to look after his girl once more, he saw that Cordy already had her hand outstretched encouragingly toward her.
Both watched as the kid finally released her intense grip on Angel’s hand, and placed her small hand in Cordy’s. “C’mon, kiddo. Let’s wait by the door for Angel, ‘kay? Then, we can go home to my place,” Cordelia promised the girl with a warm smile, and received a brief nod in response. The older brunette led the child passed Angel to the library doors, stopping before actually exiting the room though, and allowed the little girl to lean against her side. She could tell that neither vampire nor girl wanted to be out of sight of the other any more than they already had been tonight.
Angel was left to face the hostile Watcher and confused teenagers at the table.
Giles cleared his throat again before anyone could speak. Behind him, Buffy, Xander, Willow and Oz remained surprisingly silent, perhaps not so surprising for the latter, but he doubted their silence would last when he finally spoke. “What do you intend to do about the body?” he asked bluntly.
The children at the table gasped. “Giles!” Willow protested, horrified.
Giles had expected their reactions. He had even expected the sickened glare that Cordelia shot at him as she drew the little girl closer, one hand moving to cover the tiny ear that wasn’t pressed against her leg. What he hadn’t expected was the unmoved, almost calm demeanor of the dark-haired vampire before him.
“Keep your voice down please,” Angel asked quietly. His appearance was still unperturbed as he simply folded his arms across his chest. He was beyond feeling any more pain or outrage or anguish at Emily’s death. The Watcher’s words were nothing compared to that loss. Now, he only wanted to make sure that the little girl didn’t hear Giles speaking that way about her mother. “I need you to call the police,” he said in answer to the younger man’s question. He kept his voice at barely more than a whisper, a level he knew that the girl couldn’t overhear.
“And what would you have me tell them?” Giles scoffed, yet complied with Angel’s request and lowered his tone. “Perhaps you have forgotten, but I was a suspect in another murder quite recently,” he spat back bitterly as the memory of medical examiners wheeling Jenny’s covered body out of his apartment on a gurney rose in his mind. “If you think that I can report a body to the police, and not be investigated as a sus--!”
“There won’t be any investigation,” Angel interrupted Giles’ rising outburst. “Sunnydale cops are stupid, but they’re not completely oblivious to what goes on in this town. They know by now not to linger when it comes to a vampire’s victim. There’ll be no investigation, and no autopsy. Her body will be cremated before sunrise,” he informed them all, voice empty of emotion. Inside, he was torn by the fact that he wouldn’t even be able to claim her remains for her family. But preventing an inquiry meant that there’d be no search for Emily’s relatives. He’d done this to protect her daughter, and that was all that mattered now.
Giles was mystified. “The woman was shot! How in God’s name are they to come to the conclusion that a vam-…” His words trailed off as insight suddenly hit him, and his dread was confirmed by the guilt visible in Angel’s eyes. The vampire never flinched as the glasses that had remained in Giles’ grasp now slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor. One of the lenses fractured from the impact. The Watcher’s shaking hands curled into fists, knuckles quickly turning white from the pressure. “You monster…!” His voice, even now still quiet, shook with fury and disgust.
“Oh my God…” Buffy whispered, shocked, revolted, as she and the others came to the same realization – Angel had bitten the dead woman. Willow was ashen-faced, her eyes so wide that white showed all the way around her irises, and the trembling hand clamped over her mouth indicated that she might be sick. Xander was speechless with outrage, not even able to summon a dry quip as he usually did to hide his fear. Normally devoid of expression, Oz’s face was pale and drawn.
Even if Giles had allowed himself to consider the reason behind Angel’s actions, he couldn’t see passed the defilement of the deceased woman’s body. But the realization that he couldn’t do a damn thing about it burned like acid in the pit of his stomach. Defiantly, he stepped forward. His limp from the injury he had incurred earlier that evening was almost imperceptible. The vampire’s gaze followed, until Giles stood scant inches away, glaring up at him threateningly. “I hope that when that little girl finds out what you did to her dead mother, she drives a stake through that blackened dried up walnut you call a heart!” he seethed under his breath.
Angel stared back unblinkingly. “If that’s what she wants, I’ll hand her the stake,” he replied, still speaking in soft, infuriatingly calm tones. “I will tell her myself when she is old enough to fully understand what I’ve stolen from her, and I’ll tell her how sorry I am. But I won’t apologize to you. And I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect my girl,” he informed them. His last sentence was loud enough that Cordelia and the child heard it as well.
Giles’ eyes widened as he stared into Angel’s darkened gaze and saw the cold determination and lack of remorse evident there. So alike the eyes of Angelus as the soulless demon had stood over him and casually detailed how he was going to torture him, and yet so different. Without a soul, Angel’s impenitence came from deriving pleasure in causing pain. But ensouled, this wasn’t about pleasure. This was necessity. Giles took a step back from the vampire. “You’ll uphold the claim, then,” he stated audibly, rather than asked.
Giles now knew without a doubt who had initiated the claim.
As unnecessary as an answer was, Angel gave one anyway, and gave it with no reluctance. “Yes.”
Moving away completely, Giles turned fearful eyes upon the young naïve brunette that had so rashly offered her home as shelter to this creature. He needed to warn her. “Cord--”
Cordelia never let him finish. Giles’ statement and Angel’s response had been loud enough for all to hear, and she had already seen the depths of Angel’s resolve, his desperation to protect the ones he loved. “I think I can figure that one out myself, Giles,” she told him, and despite her air of nonchalance, the Watcher knew that she was deadly serious. She already knew.
Angel would kill to protect his girl.
And that thought didn’t scare her as much as it should have. She’d be stupid if she weren’t scared at all, but Cordy couldn’t help but feel glad that the little girl leaning drowsily against her side had someone that loved her so completely. She would need that love in the months to come.
A sad smile graced Cordelia’s lips and renewed tears burned her eyes, but she held them back as she turned to the others. There had been enough crying tonight. “Angel, his girl, and me are gonna go home now. I think there’s a bubble bath with your name on it!” she continued with a brighter smile to the little girl, ruffling her hair playfully. “C’mon, Broody!” she called the vampire, and jiggled her car keys in her other hand.
Angel turned away from the Scoobies, pausing only long enough to let his gaze linger on Giles’ office door one final time, one final goodbye, before he moved over to join Cordelia and the little girl. He immediately scooped the child back up into his arms, pressing a long kiss to her forehead as he held her tight. Wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips, she happily snuggled into his embrace again. She laid her head against his silent chest, and let her heavy eyelids fall shut once more. The tiny girl was asleep even before Angel had followed Cordelia through the swinging library doors.
Giles couldn’t stop them.
For a long while, silence descended upon the room yet again, until Xander finally broke it.
“Uh… All those who think letting a defenseless child and Cordy leave with the vicious killer, raise their hands,” he quipped humorlessly, extending his own arm up into the air.
“That’s enough Xander!” Giles snapped, angrily retrieving his broken spectacles from the floor. He turned to face them and fixed them all with a stern and unrelenting glare. “I want all of you to go home. Now. None of you are to come in here tomorrow. And none of you are to go near Angel or that little girl. I won’t have any of you accidentally provoking him and- and…”
“Getting ourselves killed?” Buffy offered, shuddering at the memory of her ex-boyfriend’s cold eyes. None of the teens understood what Giles had meant by the ‘claim’, but there had been no mistaking Angel’s unpitying response.
“Pr-precisely,” was all Giles could manage.
Willow looked around fearfully at the others, and took minimal comfort in the firm grip her boyfriend still had on her hand. “But what about Cordelia? I mean, Angel wouldn’t actually hurt her, would he? He has a soul now!” she babbled, on the verge of hysterics. Oz reached behind her to rub a soothing hand against her back, bringing his lips to her ear to whisper comforting words as well.
“Angel won’t hurt her,” Giles said, visibly relieving Willow until he finished, “unless she were to pose a threat to the safety and well-being of that child.”
Though initially alarmed, the redhead forced herself to fully process Giles’ words. “But that’s good, right? I mean, she’ll be okay, because she wouldn’t hurt Angel’s girl. So Angel won’t hurt her, right?” she asked. Her words were a plea for Giles’ reassurance.
The Watcher thought about it honestly before he answered her. “I… I don’t believe he will hurt her, Willow,” he assured her. “I hope that I am correct. As long as she is careful, and nothing she says or does can be construed as a threat against that child’s life, then she is safe. My only fear is that Angel is a vampire, and an unstable one at that, from what we have witnessed tonight…”
“And you didn’t even see the Mansion,” Buffy interjected. “It was trashed, Giles. He’d destroyed just about every piece of furniture in the building. Angel’s freaked. He already knew there was something going on with this family. Somehow, he knew, and I think it drove him crazy,” she admitted fearfully.
“Indeed.” The Watcher absorbed the information. It only made him more certain of what he already knew. “That is why we cannot assume exactly what Angel will consider a threat. Buffy, when you see Cordelia in school tomorrow, check that she and the child are alright.” Giles felt no shame in being distrustful of the vampire. His concern was for these children. “Also, make sure that she is properly aware of just how careful she needs to be. Remind her that she can change her mind at any time if she doesn’t want Angel staying with her. We still have the spell to reverse a vampire’s invitation. She’s not alone in this.” The Slayer nodded at the orders. “Now, I want all of you to go home. Don’t come into the library tomorrow unless it’s an emergency, just in case there is an investigation into this woman’s murder. I don’t want any of you involved.”
Willow glanced over at the office at the reminder of what lay inside. As if any of them would ever forget. “We don’t even know what her name was,” she whispered sadly, fresh hot tears slipping down her cheeks.
Giles softened at the girl’s ongoing distress. It was too late to prevent any of the teens from being involved. They’d already witnessed the worst of this mess, and Cordelia had invited a monster into her home. Giles could only hope that he would be able to keep them all safe in the coming days, maybe weeks. “Go home,” he told them more gently. “Try to get some rest, all of you.”
Wordlessly, the teenagers rose from the table, moving together to leave the library. Giles was glad to see them giving comfort to each other as they left through the same swinging double doors that his other young charge and Angel had disappeared through minutes before.
With a troubled sigh, he finally replaced his glasses, ignorant of the flaw marring one of the lenses, and limped silently into his office to make his call.
Alone.
His fingers stumbled across the keypad, dialing the by now far too familiar number. As he waited for the line to connect, his vacant stare fell upon the woman’s body draped across his couch. Twin trickles of deep crimson now disturbed the once smooth milky column of her throat. Her face remained peaceful.
“9-1-1. What is your emergency…?”
Excerpt from Chapter Five
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
“What?”
Angel quietly repeated his previous comment. “You should watch the road.”
“Oh.” Cordelia nodded, before his words finally registered. “Oh!” Russet curls lashed her cheeks as she whirled her head almost violently to face forward again, eyes widening in alarm...
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Part 5(a)
Muted green radiance from the dashboard lights cast a sickly light across the Cordelia’s features, leaving the rest of the vehicle’s interior in gloom. Her eyes flicked to her rear vision mirror, amusement curling her lips into a genuine smile.
Seated in the back passenger-side seat, Angel naturally cast no reflection in the small rectangular looking glass. The little girl fast asleep on his lap appeared to be floating several inches above the leather, snuggled up against an invisible barrier that prevented her from physically touching the backrest.
The streets of Sunnydale at three in the morning were devoid of both pedestrians and traffic, and so Cordelia risked a quick half-glance over her shoulder at her passengers.
Angel was slouching slightly, allowing the little girl to lie comfortably on her side against his chest, her slim legs stretching out across the leather beside them. She looked more peaceful now, her exhaustion having dragged her into a deep slumber, but even in sleep one of her small hands clutched desperately at the black material of Angel’s shirt, afraid to be separated from him again. Afraid to lose him.
The vampire’s eyes were closed too. It stunned Cordelia that he was so at ease with the young girl, when he had only ever seemed uncomfortable in the presence of others before now. His head was lowered beside hers, a whiskered cheek resting gently atop her caramel head. One arm encircled her back, wrapped protectively around her tiny middle, whilst the large pale hand of the other was lifted up to cup her cheek, cradling her even closer to his chest.
Both were peaceful, if only for a moment.
Cordy’s eyes turned fully to the road again, checking for traffic as she flipped on her blinker to make a right-hand turn. She completed it safely before her gaze flitted again over her shoulder to the back seat.
Grimy bloodstained yellow pajamas and once vibrant yellow socks now encrusted with dirt were still a stark contrast to the solid wall of black that supported her. Angel’s ebony slacks and shirt seemed to obscure the tiny child in nothingness. Even the coal-colored leather jacket that engulfed the little girl’s shoulders only seemed to make her smaller, more helpless – innocence enshrouded by darkness.
A thin line formed between Cordy’s delicate brows, her own impulsive thoughts unsettling her. The car slowed slightly as the brunette diverted a little more of her already wandering attention from the road to peer further into the inky blackness of the backseat. Little more than a silhouette beneath the soft top of the convertible, the vampire was a motionless shadow, deeper than the night murk. The lack of lighting made his ivory skin appear darker, more like smoke. It made Cordelia think of a winter sky that has been overcast for days.
The flawless gray was only broken at his jaw, shifting to the shade and texture of raw charcoal due to a few days worth of whisker growth. Healing purple-brown bruises stained the flesh of his hands, and the blood covering his knuckles was crusty, a rich rust-color, the wounds that had spilt it also mending.
There was a statuesque quality about Angel, so still as to be carved from smooth cool stone. But in this moment as she stared at him, he reminded Cordelia more of the gargoyles of gothic architecture rather than Greek sculptures featuring idyllic male physique. Not monstrous but strong, ominous, protective, determined. A sentinel in the night. A guardian.
The car decelerated a little more. Cordy’s gaze became slightly vacant. No – ‘darkness’ was definitely the wrong word to use here. Angel was a shadow by nature, but there was nothing dark about the unconditional love he felt for the little girl.
So engrossed was she in her musings that Cordelia let out a startled yelp at the unexpected sound of Angel’s gentle voice. His exact words went unheard as she refocused her gaze on his ashen face. He didn’t seem to have moved, not even opened his eyes.
“What?”
Angel quietly repeated his previous comment. “You should watch the road.”
“Oh.” Cordelia nodded, before his words finally registered. “Oh!” Russet curls lashed her cheeks as she whirled her head almost violently to face forward again, eyes widening in alarm. In her distraction, her foot had eased from the accelerator pedal, and the Corvette was drifting dangerously close to the right-hand curb, her tires almost kissing the pavement. A harsh gasp sounded from her lips as she jerked the steering wheel to the left, producing a light jostle for the vehicle’s occupants before she righted their course along the thankfully empty street.
Cordy allowed herself to finally expel the panicked gulp of air she’d taken in a slow deep exhalation of relief. She heard Angel’s still maddeningly calm tone behind her, accompanied by the barest tinge of amusement lacing his rich suede-soft voice. “Want me to drive?”
“No, but you could try wearing a seatbelt!” she shot back, her voice not quite as firm as she would have liked. Angel didn’t reply. The young woman briefly glared icy daggers at the emptiness in the rearview mirror, before resolutely fixing her eyes on the road ahead. She now only turned to her mirrors to check the non-existent traffic, refusing to steal any more peeks into the dim backseat.
Irritation simmered beneath her skin. Her body shifted restlessly, and itching fingers tensed their grip on the wheel, but her annoyance wasn’t directed at Angel. She silently berated herself for her wayward feelings. In one night, all of her carefully guarded emotions had been thrown into turmoil. One look into those wide cobalt eyes, sparkling wetly with salty tears, and the impenetrable emotional wall she had erected around herself, around her heart, was crumbling.
Too close.
She shouldn’t have allowed herself to get so damn close. As Cordy indicated and maneuvered the Corvette around another turn, she forcibly tried to calm herself, to regain the control that Queen C prided herself on, that allowed for more rational judgments.
A Rubik’s Cube. That’s how she had always thought of herself as. An incomprehensible blend of vibrant colors, deliberately jumbled up in a fascinating but misleading design so that you could never really see the real sides. But if you looked hard enough, the patterns hinted at the solid truth hidden deep within the puzzle. A challenge - complex and almost impossible to solve, unless given devotion, patience, and understanding.
And frustrating as all Hell in the process.
Where a Rubik’s Cube could hide it’s answers with a simple twist and an exuberant new color arrangement, Cordelia had always concealed her emotions through acerbic barbs and an untouchable presence. Prevented anyone from getting too close, and having the power to hurt her. But now…
Too weak.
On display tonight had been a Cordelia that was in complete opposition to the image she had carefully constructed to portray to the world. The weaker Cordy. The Cordy that had not only needed to gain the little girl’s trust, but had wanted to. She had let her empathy – her mutual feelings of hurt, abandonment, and even a little bit of fear – manipulate her actions, and so had made the mistake of letting her guard down.
And now the sides of the Cube were spinning wildly, gradually revealing more and more of the solution, and Cordelia needed to do something before it was too late. Before she was hurt again.
She had let herself get close to someone once, and just look where that had gotten her – betrayed, alone, and with a rebar through her stomach, the piece de resistance of her sorrow and humiliation.
Cordelia wouldn’t let that happen this time. Guiding her vehicle up her driveway, the Sunnydale High head cheerleader vowed to herself that she wouldn’t allow her emotions get involved again. She had promised to help protect the vampire’s girl, and she would follow through with that pledge, of course. But letting said vampire and girl into her home didn’t mean that she had to let either of them into her heart.
Resolve re-established, Ice Queen veneer fortified in place once more, Cordy halted the car at the front gates that guarded the Chase mansion. With a flourish she extended her hand out her lowered window and rapidly punched in the key code to gain entry to her home. While her elegant finger depressed the numbers with a little more vigor than was perhaps necessary, a heavy groan of grating metal indicated her success all the same. The iron gates swung apart slowly, granting the convertible and its occupants passage through to the opulent grounds beyond just as tiny droplets of rain began to fall.
Cordelia finally pulled up in front of the grand house at the end of the drive and killed the engine. Seizing her handbag from the passenger seat in one hand and yanking on the car door handle with the other, Cordelia hastily exited the parked vehicle. She swung around impatiently to observe the vampire as he delicately climbed out from the backseat, shoving her door closed as she did so.
Despite Angel’s deliberate care, the echoing slam of Cordelia’s car door startled the small girl in his arms from her sleep. The vampire’s dark eyes snapped to the older brunette in silent angry reprimand.
Cordelia felt horrible for having woken the worn out little girl. An apology immediately leapt to the tip of her tongue, but she obstinately pressed her ruby-painted lips into a thin line to thwart the repentant words. Her face betrayed none of her remorse or shame; an eyebrow rose haughtily, hands found purchase on her hips, and she returned his cold stare, ignorant of the cool drizzly weather that was uncharacteristic in Southern California even for winter. Then with a dismissive toss of her long mahogany tresses Cordelia turned and stamped swiftly in her goo-covered Blahniks towards her front door.
And hated herself more with each step.
Angel growled softly, but bit back any other form of reproach as he soothed the momentarily spooked child, stroking his hand reassuringly over her tangled hair. He gently pushed his own door shut and strode after the young woman.
The only acknowledgement that Cordelia gave as he followed her was to raise her keys and aim them back over her shoulder, depressing the little button on them with her thumb. Her Corvette’s alarm system activated with a tinny double chirrup.
Extravagant rosewood doors barred them from further access to the large residence. Stopped on the front step, Cordelia flipped through the keys on her chain with practiced ease to locate the one that would unlock the huge double doors. She slid the jagged metal into the keyhole as the vampire came up behind her, and one deft twist disengaged the deadbolt on the other side. Another flick of her wrist rotated one of the handles, allowing her to push one heavy door open and step into the foyer beyond. Only then did she look back at her companion.
Angel still stood in the same place he had stopped moments before, not moving to trail her inside. He said nothing, keeping his face curiously blank now as he simply watched her, insignificant specks of rain occasionally falling upon the alabaster skin of his face and midnight black of his clothing.
“Well?” Cordelia asked him expectantly, and a little irritably. “Aren’t you invited in already? I said you could stay here.”
His reply was detached, almost un-interested. To Cordy he seemed to be the Angel she had always semi-known again – the reclusive and detached vampire half-hidden in the shadows. “You said I could stay with you. That’s not necessarily an invitation into your home. Just an implication of one. It’s not enough to let me in,” he informed her with a slight impassive one-shouldered shrug; mindful not to disturb the bundle in his arms any further.
Interesting though the revelation undoubtedly was, to someone like Giles maybe, Cordelia merely nodded, as if to herself. Earlier she had readily invited Angel to stay, but now she paused. Not quite hesitation, but more a chance to gather her wits. It would be all too easy to simply close the door and shut the vampire out. Shut this whole messy ordeal out, and treat herself to that hot bath she’d promised herself only an hour ago, though it seemed like days. But shutting everything out wasn’t an option, because Cordelia Chase never took the easy way out. She’d given her word to help Angel, and she wasn’t about to renege.
A puff of air was forced passed her lips in a sigh, and she held the door a little wider. “Well, come on in, Grr-Guy,” she declared, seemingly indifferent. Her other hand absently gestured him inside.
Angel didn’t move. Pain sparked in his eyes, his jaw muscles tightened. The distress filtered over his previously composed features – dozens of little hints that betrayed his volatile emotional state, and reminded Cordelia that this was a very different Angel to any she had witnessed before. The vampire glanced down at the child, before unflinchingly meeting Cordelia’s direct gaze. “My girl needs an invitation too.” Barely disguised guilt made his voice gruff.
Cordelia’s eyes dropped in astonishment to the tiny brunette in Angel’s arms, lips falling apart uselessly as her brain stopped working altogether, unable to even begin to comprehend what his words could mean. Oblivious to the attention, the youngster dozed on against Angel’s shoulder. For a short time Cordelia forgot all about her façade, and could only manage a mumbled, “I… I invite you both in”. Only when the vamp stepped inside the house did Cordelia snap out of her mystified haze to firmly close and deadbolt the door again. With almost automaton precision she turned to the small plastic panel beside the entryway to reset the security system.
“So… what now?” she asked in an attempt to regain her wits, forcing all of her confusing thoughts aside. Whatever it meant, Cordelia couldn’t allow herself to slip again.
Suddenly Angel looked a little uncomfortable, unsure of how to ask for more help. Nothing else had mattered earlier except making sure that his girl was safe. Now that she was though, the vampire seemed almost shy talking to Cordelia, a boyish sort of uncertainty that made a small affectionate grin spread unbidden across the young woman’s lips.
“Uh… she… She needs sleep, and… And she’s barely eaten or bathed in at least four days. Maybe… I mean… She needs a bath… and some decent food, too,” Angel answered tentatively, running one hand through his short dark hair and unwittingly tousling the already scruffy locks.
The little girl’s face lifted up at the prospect of something to eat, her sleepy eyes fixing beseechingly on Angel’s. “Ice cream?” she asked hopefully.
At that Angel chuckled, nervousness forgotten. “Not tonight, sweetheart,” he told her softly, disappointing her. But he knew she and her parents had eaten little aside from take-out since they’d left their home behind them, and he wanted to get something a little more substantial than ice cream into her belly. “Tell you what, let me make you something healthy tonight,” he smiled as her nose scrunched up automatically at the mere mention of the word ‘healthy’, “and you can have ice cream tomorrow,” he proposed the deal.
Drooping eyelids drifted closed, and Cordelia assumed that the youngster had fallen asleep again. A few seconds later though her eyes crept back open and she nodded her agreement, apparently having considered the compromise and found it acceptable.
The vampire smiled thinly, relieved by the easy capitulation. He knew for a fact that there was a fierce and rather unfortunate stubborn streak in the girl’s family. “Okay. Now, let’s see about getting you properly cleaned up, shall we?” One of his thumbs idly skimmed her slightly dirt-smudged cheek, tracing a line in the fine dusting of cool rain droplets that shimmered upon her skin.
“Bathrooms are upstairs,” Cordelia interjected abruptly into the ensuing stillness. If she was determined to maintain her neutral appearance, then she knew she had to escape the tender scene in her foyer, and now. The menial chore of running a bath was just the distraction she needed.
Without waiting for a response the young woman spun quickly in her soiled shoes, heading for the staircase and hiding her briefly shaken resolve.
Angel didn’t immediately move to follow, watching Cordelia’s brisk flight from the room contemplatively. Almost every trace of the warmth and understanding that the young woman had exhibited earlier that night was gone, and all that seemed to be left was disinterest. The abrupt one-eighty in her demeanor made him confused, disappointed, and just a little bit angry, but those emotions trickled away quickly like water cupped in his hands as a sad weariness consumed him.
He was tired. Tired from having not slept in four days, and knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep any time soon. Tired of fear and rage, and the inability to do a damn thing about either. Despite Cordelia’s valiant attempts to ease his concerns about staying with her, nothing could make him forget the sight of Emily – pale, almost cold, dead. Her blood thick and cool on his tongue, still haunting him, still nauseating him. Her baby…
Angel shook his head slightly, shaking himself out of the recent memory before it could drag him down. For now, all of his conscious efforts needed to be focused on his girl, and trying to bring her father safely back to her. As much as he wanted to know why Cordelia had suddenly thrown up an emotional wall in his face again, as much as he wanted to know more about the woman behind that wall, he didn’t have the time or even the energy to fight her on it right now. He could only hope that her change in attitude wouldn’t lead her to retract her invitation to stay with her.
Because he really didn’t have anywhere else to go.
Breathing out a weary sigh, Angel finally headed up the stairs.
TBC