Title: All That Matters
Author: fiddly
Posted: 04-03-2003
Email: fiddlydiddlyatpriya@hotmail.com
Rating: PG14
Category:
Content: Romance/angst C/S friendship C/A and B/S
Summary: Spike comes to visit
Spoilers: Season 4
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: NF is a given if anyone else wants it ask for it.
Notes: Okay so this started off as a challenge Angelic Black Queen set me but I’m not sure if she’ll approve *g*
· No Conner abduction
· Cordy did go up but none of the other crap followed
· Therefore no Evil Cordy
· This story is written on the basis that Angel didn’t declare his love to Cordy even though she came back SANE.
I hope Angelic Black Queen likes it. Also it's the first time I've written Spike in depth so don't torture me if I've mucked it up.
Feedback:
Dedication: Well to Angelic Black Queen of course for setting such an ace challenge. ThankyouPart 1: Long time no see
He threw the cigarette on the floor and delved deep into his pockets to fish out the packet looking into it he snarled and threw it on the floor, giving the packet one last disgusted look he kicked it off the street corner. It was empty, that had to be a sign. He should go back surely the cigarette God was telling him something and it wasn’t that stealing cigarettes never paid because you always used them up too quickly.
He sagged against the lamppost opposite the hotel, it was showy and old just like his grandsire he thought. He snarled disgusted at himself for even being here and got up and turned around but before he could even take a step his vision picked up the familiar black Plymouth. Showy and old seemed to be the theme for his beloved grandsire, something’s never changed. Stepping back into the shadows he prayed the poof wouldn’t sense him.
As Angel stepped out of his car Spike felt the pull of the bond, felt the calling of his blood and heritage, the wild beast that he had managed to calm since he had gained his soul danced with excitement when the two familiar bloodlusts of both sire and childe met. He breathed in hard trying to contain the begging cries of his beast to let him out and play just one last time. The bond wasn’t as strong as it had been a centaury ago and he managed to convince himself destruction was not the reason why he was here.
He concentrated on the conversation that his grandsire was having with his fellow do gooders, not relishing in the bond for too long knowing that Angelus would sense him if he did.
“ANGEL what the hell was that about?” The cheerleader.
“I’m sure that Angel has a reason for his behaviour Cordelia if you just calm down” The watcher.
“Better have because if he don’t, I’m not sure brother is going to be able to escape with all his parts in tact, you know what I’m saying?” Some black sidekick a quick sniff told Spike the kid was nothing special, human.
“Yes well…” the watcher had taken off his glasses Rupert Giles fashion or was it in Watcher fashion? And started to rigorously clean them.
“Angel are you going to answer me or not?”
Another quick sniff and he was struck by something odd he sensed only two humans and two demons, he glanced around looking for another demon but couldn’t see anyone. The chit was giving off a demon scent he was sure but that didn’t make any sense.
Curiosity peaked he almost blew his cover but immediately stepped back when he saw his grandsire’s body immerge beside the watcher boy.
“Wesley, Gunn go home. You too Cordy”
He chuckled silently when he saw the cheerleaders jaw hang and her eyes go wide as saucepans, the wanker still didn’t know how to handle woman even after two and half centauries.
“ANGEL. I’m standing right here and talking to you, watch my mouth open and close very carefully”
“That’s what I’ve been doing all day Cordelia and frankly I’m fed up of it” Spike stood up straight and clenched his fists, that was low even for Angelus the look on the chit’s face was like nothing he had seen on her before. Not that he cared but he hadn’t been a poet for nothing, he adored beauty and hated to see it getting hurt. He had never personally known the cheerleader but from the tales he had heard from red and wanker Harris the cheerleader could usually give as good as she got, tonight however she just raised one of her eyebrows and crossed her arms.
“Fine be like that, god Angel what crawled up your ass…”
“And died there?” The black sidekick finished for her.
Angelus glared at them both and slammed the boot of car shut and stalked off.
He groaned in his spot in the dark and realised that even if there was no going back he couldn’t face his grandsire without some cigarettes not when Angelus was throwing one of his hissy fits.
Turning away from the hotel he wondered where he was going to stay, now that scrounging of his grandsire was out of the question, then as an idea popped into his head an evil smile worked its way on his face. William the bloody may be dead, he may have a soul but still that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a bit of fun.
Part 2: Pleased to see me?
She threw the bag on the floor and stomped to the bathroom slamming the door so hard she was sure the echoes could be heard throughout the length of the hallway. She hit the shower into full steam mode and stripped, flinging the clothes so that they landed in a messy heap.
A messy heap that she knew Angel would frown on, knowing that she had done something that the vampire would thoroughly disapprove of made her feel good right down to her bones.
She stepped under the spraying water letting the intensity wake her out of her tired daze and letting the heat soothe her aching bones. Grabbing for the shampoo she lathered it on generously, knowing that in her constant state of poverty she couldn’t afford to literally throw a $34.99 bottle worth of shampoo down the drain, but the indulgence lightened her mood as the warm honeysuckle and vanilla scent wafted into her nose. She watched the bubbles form around her head in the mirror opposite her, as she recounted her day she made faces at the mirror cursing at it every now and then when she thought of a particular souled vampire. She had spent the whole day fighting with him over some inane topic or other. It was stupid it was making her miserable, the rest of the gang miserable but what was annoying Angel just didn’t seem to be picking up on it. The guy did everything in his power to push her away. Grrrrrr. And when she had thought things couldn’t possibly get worse she had been bombarded with a vision of a young girl being raped, sure they weren’t killing her anymore but sometimes every now and then, there would be that one vision which took everything out of her. This had been one of those nights, they had barely saved her, and Angel’s antics hadn’t helped. He kept trying to get a raise out of the demon not killing it always fighting it. Then he refused to talk about it.
Stepping out she wrapped her wet body in a towel and walked towards the bedroom thinking of possible ways that she could kill Angel without really it being her fault. After all she was the better half of the duo, without her there would be no mission and now that she was a certified champion of the powers they didn’t really need him that much.
Maybe if she “accidentally” let some holy water slip into his blood, after all anyone could have contact with his blood. A worry crept into her mind even as she thought about it, it was true anyone did have access to his blood, she wondered why Wolfram and Hart hadn’t tried anything similar after all, it would be a clean death. She decided that she would keep that thought to herself, even walls had ears.
She dropped the towel to the floor picking up her robe when she heard the knocking, she startled for a minute, she wasn’t expecting anyone, hell she didn’t know anybody that would want to come to her house barring the people she worked with and she was pretty sure it was none of them. She looked around and Dennis brought a baseball bat she smiled and whispered a thank you.
She walked towards the door wrapping her robe tightly around her and the baseball hovering behind her in Denis’s invisible hands.
She just hoped it wasn’t the nice lady from down the hall with yet another casserole dish.
She opened the door cautiously and peeped through the space “What the hell?”
The peroxide blonde raised an eyebrow expertly flicking his cigarette away and leered at her “Expecting me were you chit?”
“No. What the hell are you doing here Spike?”
Spike sniffed and grimaced there was no fear, not even a little scream for old times sake “She’s told you lot hasn’t she?”
Cordelia frowned and said “What? Who?”
“Red, about my condition”
She couldn’t help the undignified scoff that made its way up her throat “Yeah we know about your inability to perform, Angel found it quite funny actually”
Anger worked its way through his body when he realised what a merry old laugh his grandsire really must have had when he heard about his chip. He leered at her yet again this time with a little bit more determination smirking a little to keep her on edge he said “That’s not true chit I can bite, my bleeding soul that’s the problem”
She gave him a wary glance and then waved one of her feminine hands at him “Angel isn’t here you can find him at the Hyperion… and if he believes you have a soul for real then maybe he won’t kill you, but some how I doubt it and to be honest I couldn’t care less”
He fought the urge to walk away and stuffed his hands inside his pocket this was harder than he thought. Originally he had thought that maybe him and his poofy grandsires girl could have some fun on the side but after sobering up from the 4 bottles of vodkas and one bottle of rum he had consumed during his journey he realised that maybe seducing Angelus’s girl wouldn’t be the best way to get his help. Still he found himself on her doorstep, his curiosity heightened about who she exactly was.
He had heard that she was Angelus’s seer the news had spread like wild fire in the under belly of evil, if you want to take out Angel the girl was the way to go, apparently though many had tried and failed, according to legend a mortal had even lost a hand, something the grand do gooder Angel would never do unless he was completely desperate.
Still the scent it was something he had never smelt before something he found intoxicating, it was light but with depth of mystery and wisdom, he unconsciously came colliding with the invisible barrier as he found himself leaning in towards her to get a closer sniff.
“Pffft if that’s what your technique is with woman I’m not surprised even Buffy kicked you out.” She smirked a little at his outraged look “A bit desperate isn’t it? Even for you? Going after Angel’s leftovers”
Finding that he had enough he turned around kicking at the ground.
Cordelia looked at the vampire turning around and felt a pang of guilt “Wait” she said before really thinking about it and then bit her lip regretting it immediately. She couldn’t help her self he had looked so lonely and helpless right because suddenly it was the blood sucking fiends that were helpless!!!! , but still the loneliness she had seen in his eye was something she found herself relating with, and hating her self for it she actually felt guilty.
“What do you want?”
He shrugged “A place to stay”
She laughed out loud this time “Right and you think I’m going to let you stay here?”
When she said it like that it sounded daft, but he was sure he had another reasoning behind it.
“I was just I don’t think poof….” Off her glare he changed his words “Don’t think ‘gelus’ would let me stay at his”
She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow even further “Do you blame him?”
Lifting his arms in outrage he cried “For bleedings sake I was EVIL, I can’t be held responsible for my urges”
“Eloquent as usual” she sniped but he ignored her.
“…. And it’s not as if ‘gelus hasn’t done his fair share of nasties worse than anything I ever did”
She stiffened at his attack on her best friend and let all sympathy for the vampire fly away “Go away Spike no one wants you here”
“Story of my bleeding life”
He stood there hands in his pocket looking towards the window forlornly, Cordelia realised it was nearly sunrise. Would he really? He did look desperate and what if he really didn’t have anywhere to go?
She had never known Spike just known that she didn’t like him but she was sure that’s what she would have thought of Angel if she had only ever seen his soulless side. Look at all the good Angel had done and there was a very vague, very remote chance that Spike could do just the same, she didn’t want to responsible for Spike’s death if he really was a good guy now. On top of that she could just imagine the hissy fit Buffy would throw if she ever changed her mind about wanting Spike back and found out she had just let Spike walk out into the sun.
She sighed and watching the sulking figure amble across to the window.
“OKAY geez guilt trip much? I invite you in Spike” she made sure she said it with enough annoyance to let the vampire know not to get too comfortable.
“Much appreciated chit” as she turned her back he smirked it worked like a dream every time. If he had learnt anything in his very long time it was that woman could never resist a stray puppy.
He watched her enter the room and prop some pillow up on the sofa and then she turned to glare at him, “You can stay but only for one night and if there is any funny business Spike you’ll be coming out of this room in your own ashtray”
Spike winced pretty convinced that she would carry out fully on her threat.
“Learnt some new moves have you cheerleader?”
Her eyes flared with defiance and determination and she jutted her chin out Spike decided he liked that look on her “And what if I have? Lets just put it this way Spike I’m no longer the damsel in distress I used to be, you mess with me and you’re messing with the big guns”
He chuckled which he could see annoyed her as her eyebrows met together in frustration “Big guns chit? You think you’ve ever met a big gun?”
This time he watched something spark in her eyes and he watched the transformation from determined to confidant, her body relaxed and a small mocking smile made way on her lips “More than you have Spike”
“Oh really? Sure about that chit?”
“Spike you wouldn’t believe the places I’ve been”
It was something about the challenge in her eyes that made Spike believe her words, there was something so powerful about her stance and presence. Intrigued he took a step forward “So me and you in one room what would poofy say?”
She flinched at that and Spike suspected it was more than him using his pet name for his grand sire “First of all we’re not in the same room I will be sleeping in my bed while you’ll be sleeping on the sofa”
“Hospitality just isn’t what it used to be”
Ignoring Spikes interruptions she carried on “Number two it isn’t just you and me. Meet Dennis my house mate”
When a flying baseball bat came charging towards him Spike quickly ducked.
Cordelia snorted, “Sorry did I forget to mention that he’s a ghost?”
“A ghost why bloody not? Red’s a magic addict and almost had us all killed, Buffy died and came back again then tried to kill us all, nibblet is some mystic portal key and you’re living with a ghost well that completes the lot”
“What about Xander?”
“What about Xander he’s still a bloody pillock”
She frowned “Include no being mean about my friends on the list of conditions”
“Sorry chit figured that the guy who cheated on you wouldn’t be on top of your friendly list”
She bristled “We parted on friendly terms, we have an understanding”
Spike dropped his bag in the middle of the room and chose to ignore her words “If you ask me….”
“And who really did?”
Ignoring her further he carried on “He was an idiot, I had a tasty morsel like you on my side I wouldn’t just let you go”
The words that were aimed to please her just annoyed her further. She had spent the whole day quarrelling with Angel then just as the day couldn’t get worse she had her vision and now she was standing in the middle of her room cold, wet and clad only in a robe talking to SPIKE about her love life. She was pretty convinced that things couldn’t get any worse.
“So chit that couch looks kinda lumpy you mind if I share your bed with you? Or by all means have the coach yourself after all I am a fair man”
She closed her eyes, she just had to go tempt the fates didn’t she?
“Spike take it or lump it”
He scoffed “What sort of hospitality is that chit?”
“The sort desperate people lap up because they have no where else to go”
Reminded of his problem Spike sobered up a little, deciding that the cheerleader no matter how annoying with her sharp words did have a point, beggars really couldn’t be choosers, and as much as he hated to admit it to himself he was a beggar “Of course…” he mused out loud “it wouldn’t be a problem if I was evil an’ all, all I’d have to do is get invited over by some clueless bint… that way I got desert and dinner all thrown in for the price of one”
Cordelia wondered if calling Angel to remove his annoying childe was still an option. She decided that explaining why she had let Spike come into her apartment in the first place would be a bigger mission and not really wanting to have yet another verbal throw down with her increasingly annoying champion she settled for massaging her forehead with renewed energy.
“Headache chit? You ought to get something for that”
“Yeah like maybe a stake”
“You know chit just because you and the poof had a barney doesn’t mean it’s okay to be rude to me.”
She stiffened and eyed him suspiciously, how did he know that she and Angel had, had a fight? “Where you watching us?”
“It was because of his damn hissy fit that I decided that I couldn’t possibly stay with him.”
“How long for?”
“Long enough to know that ‘gelus is in a bad mood with something or someone”
Cordelia looked down at the floor guiltily “Go to sleep Spike”
“You know when it came to the opposite sex chit he was always clueless, ‘gelus always kept his brains in his pants not much good with anything else when it came to woman”
“Something you would know alllll about. Anyway how can you be so sure that it’s about a girl?”
“Well he’s a man, the only thing men ever worry about is sex and money we leave you chits to worry about the rest. Considering that poofs livin’ in a hotel grander than his worth I’m guessing it isn’t money”
“Well as much as I’m enjoying this lesson in male psyche I have to go get some sleep” she frowned as Spike gave her a clueless look.
“What?”
“Well I thought we were bonding luv?”
He really did have a hopeful look on his face, like he was pleading with her to stay, despite her better judgement she stayed and started talking “You want to …. To talk with me ? Don’t you think its best if you talk to someone who actually knows you or actually cares or preferably both”
He shrugged and wondered if the chit would mind if he lit up a ciggie he was dieing for one “Don’t know anyone like that”
She said it without thinking “What about Buffy?” and regretted straight away. A dark look passed on his face a myriad of emotions flitting past his eyes. She couldn’t register all of them and she wasn’t sure she wanted to but something about the desperation on his face reached out to her own heart. Something about the way he stood in her lounge room, all alone in an old worn out leather duster with no place to go that made her sigh and flop down on her couch.
“I’m going to regret this by morning aren’t I?”
Spike smirked a lighter look than what he was wearing a minute ago “Depends what you’re offering luv I’ve never heard any complaints about my services rendered”
“Spike if we’re going to do this I’d like to get some things straight, no touching, no talking about touching and no thinking about touching”
Not agreeing to any of her conditions he changed the subject, “You going to tell poof what I tell you?”
“I don’t know. Depends on what you’re going to tell me? After all Spike it could be something that Angel needs to know. God Spike I don’t even know what I’m doing here all I know is if I wasn’t so very tired I’d be putting up one hell of a fight after all you could be confessing all your sins to me”
“Would take a long time for that”
“Then why? Why me? I take it you didn’t have me on your mind when you first came to L.A”
He shrugged and fell into the seat beside her, to be honest even he didn’t know. All he knew was despite the fact that the cheerleader had known what he could do she had still let him in. Given him a place to stay talked to him without the hate and the remorse he was so used to. When he had talked to her he had seen a hidden empathy and understanding that he had long ago lost in the people around him. When he had opened his mouth he wanted to tell her the stuff in his heart some how knowing that she would listen.
He didn’t want to tell her everything, everything would frighten her and as much as he hated it the only person that would understand was his grandsire. But he had been cold for so long and as much as Angelus would understand he doubted he would ever get the compassion that this woman was offering in her own guarded way.
“I don’t know, not like I even asked for you to stay with me” as she got up he quickly added “Not like I’m hating it either chit”
“So what do you want to talk about Spike and if it’s Buffy I gotta warn you I’m kinda biased in the sense that even though I like her alive, I like her even better when she’s living miles away from me.”
Tired of thinking about Buffy he shook his head “Daft bint doesn’t know what she’s missing besides it was me that left, I need to sort through some problems of mine”
He watched her wait in patience, patience that she must have learnt through the years of working with his grand sire.
He shrugged “Lets talk about you chit. What are you?”
Looking offended she straightened her back “I’m Cordelia”
He rolled his eyes and lent forward and sniffed her “You’re not human”
“Well duh?”
“So?”
“So?”
“Well then what are you luv?”
“I don’t know” she mumbled and looked forward “They tell me I’m a higher being”
He raised his eyebrows clearly impressed “Well, well, well, we have been mixing with the big guns”
“Told ya”
“Hmmm” he said thoughtfully liking the fact that he was finally talking about something other than his stupid soul “So how’s it feel?”
“No different I mean I had the ascension and everything was given eternal life and wings but I gave them up…”
Spike groaned he knew what was coming next the beautiful woman that was sitting next to him had sacrificed the lot because of his grand sire.
Surely she too wasn’t in love with the poof?
“ Bargained them out for a life on this earth, along with a few other things”
He shut his eyes and kicked himself he had just gone from one tragic romance and walked right into another. He couldn’t help the surge of jealousy that made its way through his body. Why was it that Angelus always got them sane and he always got them a little bit barmy?
“So why are you here?”
“Stuff”
“Well if that’s how you’re going to be I’m going to bed?”
“Christ luv let a man have his private moments? Got any alcohol?”
He watched her mind calculate what he said and when she was finished he didn’t miss the evil glint that was gleaming in her eye “No but I know a place that has”
At that she got up and stormed off to her bedroom, leaving Spike to wonder if thinking dirty thoughts about her was okay if she technically wasn’t in the room because the way that robe was flapping he really couldn’t care less even if it wasn’t.
Part 3: Rejects united
“Oh my god that’s terrible?” Cordelia squealed clasping Spike’s hand into her own.
“Yes it is. It really is” Spike said sombrely.
“You got a soul for her and she just…. Just discarded you like yesterdays newspaper”
“More like yesterdays chip paper luv?” Spike said milking it for all it’s worth.
Her eyes widened and she cupped his cheek “I feel for you, I mean here’s me with this perfect luxury life style I was a HIGHER being and I left it for HIM and all he’s done ever since I came back is ignore me or pretend that nothing ever happened”
“Doesn’t that just make you sick?” Spike snarled and poured another two shots of whisky.
“You let them into yer life, become their lap dogs, fetching and fighting whenever they call, become their all night sex slaves let them beat you around and for what?”
Cordelia looked at Spike wide-eyed and silently mouthed an “oh”.
“You and Buffy were really… really bumping uglies? Angel is going to have a fit”
“Yeah we were more than bumping I’m telling ya chit slayer has a right fetish for….”
As she drowned her shot Cordelia made a face and motioned to Spike with her hand to stop “I really don’t need to know. So Spike anyone tell you that communication is the basis of any relationship why don’t you tell Buffy all of this”
The alcohol-induced cheer flew off Spikes face “I messed up as usual. I did something bad but I tried to make it better got a soul an’ everything but she said that it didn’t make it okay, that I was still a vampire.”
“Well duh” Cordelia rolled her eyes and poured Spike two shots of whisky “What did she think you were when she was riding you like a go-go pup?”
“A go-go pup”
“Oh”
“Yeah” He flung back the two shots and ordered another bottle this time vodka.
“I don’t think of you as a go-go pup, I think of you as a ……um…..” deep in thought she was finally hit by it and her face lightened up “I know Spikey you can be my friend”
Spike chuckled enjoying the cheerleaders company even if they were both drunk and out of their minds they had randomly skipped from topic to topic and found that they had a lot in similar.
“BARTENDER. What’s a man got to do around here to get some service?”
Cordelia shushed Spike and clicked her fingers “Lorney…Lorney over here”
The said green demon cringed as he heard the princess call him in her drunken state. For the last 2 hours he had been internally debating whether or whether not to call the broody, stud muffin. If he did he faced the wrath of the princess and Lorne didn’t really like his chances of getting out of it with all his manly parts attached, however if he didn’t and Angel ever found out what was happening here he wasn’t sure that he would have any parts left.
Stuck between a big ole’ fanged rock and an even bigger higher being rock.
Sighing he had begrudgingly served them drinks at 3am in the morning when no other bar was open and listened to them talking to each other, relating to each other. Now he was beginning to worry because he was starting to think they were getting to know each other a little too well. Their auras were doing funny things intertwining with each other like they too were talking to each other. He had only seen the princess’s aura do this only with one other person and that had been Angel.
The princess was so careful who she let into her life this instant bonding wasn’t like her at all. Lorne chided himself after all she had been through he wasn’t surprised she needed to off load. Offload to someone who wouldn’t offer a solution or judge her, off load to someone that would understand her responsibilities and decisions the best anyone could. And as bizarre as it may sound it was the peroxide vampire sitting in front of her that could do that because her own vampire, her own champion had been acting like an A grade jerk ever since her ascension.
For whatever reasons Lorne had let them “bond” but now an uneasiness was creeping in…… the thought of Angel ever finding out that he had willingly sat and served them, whilst Cordelia got thoroughly drunk around his childe that was known throughout the demon world to be the bloodiest killers of all did not settle well with him at all.
He coughed and walked up to them “Princess maybe it was about time you got toddling off home.”
“No I want drink and so does my new friend Spike. Have you met Spikey Lorney?
“Only by reputation?” Lorne frowned disapprovingly at the vampire.
“See” the blonde protested, “That’s what I’m fighting against this bloody prejudice that all vampires have to be evil. I’m not evil…. Haven’t been evil for a long time.”
Lorne raised an eyebrow and watched him curiously “I don’t think Angelkins would see it that way?”
Spike smirked and raised his glass “Who bloody cares what poof and the slayer think I say sod ‘em”
“Amen” Cordelia raised her glass too and clinked it with Spike’s.
“Listen “brother” I hear what you’re saying but at 5am in the morning when I’ve had no sleep and face an inquisition by the souled champion, you either sling your hook or I’m calling him now ”
Cordelia hotly stood up about to protest when she wobbled over and landed in Spike’s laps.
“Ahhh see luv I knew you’d come to your senses.”
“Shut up Spike and help me get up so I can make sure that Lorne is never able to face a woman again, well not nude anyway”
Lorne gulped but kept his ground “princess I love you and would do anything for you apart from facing your champion when it comes to matters relating to you so if I have to I will call him NOW”
She pouted in a way only Cordelia Chase was equipped to do and then huffed “Fine me and Spike will just take our business somewhere else”
“At 5am in the morning?”
Finally it looked like she was sobering up her eyes went wide and she tried to smack her forehead but missed and poked her eye instead “Oh shit I have to work tomorrow ummmm no today… Angel will kill me?”
“I’ll protect you chit” Spike staggered onto his two feet and held up the bottle like a trophy.
She scoffed and patted Spike’s cheek affectionately “I think I’m fine on my own”
Forlornly he looked at her and whined “But I could….. I could fight that poof” he said puffing out his chest he flexed his muscles.
She only nodded her head sympathetically and patted his hand reassuringly “I know you could. Anyway to the sewers we go”
“To the sewers” Spike echoed and stormed out of Caritas.
Lorne sighed if he was clever he would pack his bags and leave before all of this came back and bit him royally on the ass.
Part 4: One big happy family
He punched the bag one last time, a flimsy hit that didn’t move the bag but it was already swinging from his other brutal blows. He watched it swing and heard the hinges give way slightly as it swung widely from side to side.
He panted hard not that it made him any calmer but it was something he had picked up from the humans around him and he just couldn’t get rid of the habit. He felt the beads of sweat make their way down his chest drenching his vest even further, the tangy, salty smell hitting his nostrils, frustrated and not ready to give up he ripped off his vest and started hitting the punching back with renewed aggression. Making sure every time he hit the bag the shock waves that occurred as a result of his punches travelled through his whole body. Waking his dead cells up. As he hit the bag he imagined every sin he had ever committed and wishing that he were on the receiving end of his blows he hit the bag harder. His hands felt like they were pulsating but of course they weren’t it was just an artificial reaction because he was dead. The thought further aggravated him and he let out a growl. With every punch his demon grew stronger, wilder, taunting him, mocking him for the weakling he was always wanting but never taking. Going after things that only humans could be blessed with knowing full well that he could never have them because he was a monster. Rage built up in his body hating his demon for committing those crimes but hating his soul further for making him feel for them. Every punch he threw was a battle between his rage and desires fighting them both off, he hit the bag like a mad man no longer with the expertise and precision of a warrior but with the rage and anger of a man.
Embrace it cried his demon, but he knew better his * soul * knew better.
Closing his eyes and panting heavily now he kept on hitting the bag each time hoping, praying, begging that his rage and desires would go away. Leave him in peace, so that he could exist if not live.
“You know I think its pretty much dead”
He groaned ignoring the tingle her voice had coaxed out of his body and he grounded himself for a minute, long enough so he could rasp out “Go away I’m busy”
“Nuh-uh been there done that even have the bite marks to prove it Darla mean anything to you?”
He sighed, stopping the bag with his hands, eyes still closed he stood there for a moment and waited to reach some sort of equilibrium.
He opened his eyes and looked at the object of his desire and the wants and the reason for all his rage. Her hazel eyes pierced into his and he found himself retreating into the shadows not wanting her to read the lust and love that was rooted deep in his soul for her.
“Cordy…….”
“I know you’re fine which is like the universal phrase for “not fine” but I’ll let it pass…. So how’ve you been other than the stuff that isn’t making you fine?” Even though her nervous babble was covered with a calm exterior and a thousand watt smile, he could hear the erratic thump, thump of her heartbeat and see the nervousness in her eyes.
He eyed her with suspicion and walked over to get his towel “What is it Cordelia?”
When she didn’t answer he turned around to look at her. Her face was slightly flushed and her lips parted her eyes following the movements of his towel as he dabbed it over his chest. He shifted feeling awkward under, what could only be described as “hungry” gaze coughing to break her attention he said, “Cordy what is it?”
Her eyes snapped to his and her cheeks coloured into a deeper red, she coughed and backed away adding more distance between them. “I was just you know thinking about how sometimes we have to do things, we don’t want to do you know because sometimes it’s just the right thing to do”
In his years of knowing Cordelia Chase he had learnt that she never said a blank statement. They may sound like blank statements but they always had a hidden meaning. It was one of the things that made Cordelia Chase so unique you could never figure her out, the minute you think you have her sussed she surprises you with yet another mystery. Looking at her face now though a sickly feeling came over Angel he was pretty sure as “surprising” as this surprise was going to be he wasn’t going to like it.
“Because sometimes we have to be patient, listen to the other side of the story” she stopped obviously looking for the right words.
“Cordy?” he prompted.
She looked at him and realised that she really should have thought this out better, ‘Hey Angel guess whose come to visit?’ really didn’t cut it in the light of day.
Her eyes wondered back to his body watching the play of his shoulder muscles as he swiped at his sweat. This really would be easier if Angel wasn’t half naked. She was pretty sure he had noticed her gawking like some horny teenager but convincing herself that the alcohol she had consumed last night was to blame she didn’t let her mind wonder on the topic for too long. Still she had no intention of making a fool of her self twice. She tried to focus on the pattern of the brick wall behind him whilst biting her lip thinking of a suitable approach.
“Um Angel promise you won’t be mad at me?”
Looking at her with further curiosity and suspicion he straightened a slight twitch of his eye gave away to his own nervousness “I never make promises I can’t keep you know that”
“But you * have * to otherwise I’m not thoroughly convinced I’ll ever see daylight again.”
“Cordy I would never hurt you. You know that” he threw the towel onto a discarded table and eyed Cordelia wondering what could possibly make Cordelia this nervous he gave her his best understanding look. He watched her chew her lip and play with the hem of her shirt. He grew further worried he had never seen her in this state normally it was the other way round, like when he had done something brilliant like forgotten his wallet when he promised the gang a meal on him, or when he forgot the diaper bag on Conner’s first official day out. Normally it would be Cordelia giving him the suspicious look as he gave the worried looks.
“Cordy you can tell me whatever it is it can’t be that bad.”
He didn’t miss the way she gulped but nodding she began to speak with all her confidence “ Okay so what if I told you….”
“Have you bloody well told him yet or should I come back later?”
The colour from Cordelia’s face drained and for the first time since last night she could she could understand how sometimes Spike’s cocky ways could be perceived as……. annoying . She risked a glance at Angel who seemed to adopting the ‘If I don’t move then nothing has really happened’ technique. To be truthful she thought it was damn sexy he stood stock still not moving, twitching, blinking but it was exactly that which gave him the edge, the presence that told his predators not to fuck with him. It was his un-earthly silence that told of his years of practise in waiting, his strength lay in his solid body that remained unmoved grounded to the floor. A shiver went down her spine.
She was broken out of her trance when his eyes moved to hers in a very slow and deliberate way, his amber eyes fixing on to her hazel ones. “Please tell me that’s not who I think it is?” he ground out jaw clenched together.
Just as he said that the thudding of boots hitting stone steps were heard. Angel turned very slowly and to his great annoyance watched his grand childe immerge.
Spike gave him a wide grin and outstretched his arms “Granddaddy miss me?”
Angel shut his eyes and counted to ten and then breathed hard, but as he breathed the familiar pull of his bond with his annoying grand childe came knocking on his senses. The same bond that he had spent years ignoring knowing full well his beast would only feed on Spike’s corrupt ways. The two bonds meeting would be harder to fight than just the one and that’s what the bond did, it joined both their blood lusts and emotions to make it one wild force. Luckily Angelus being older always had much more ruling over the bond. Today however he was struck by something else as well, as the blood lust was still there enticing his own beast to come out and play but there was also a resistance on Spike’s behalf a conscience if you like. So the rumours were true his no good grand childe had got himself a soul,
“You have a soul?”
Spike being Spike shrugged amiably and with an evil grin said “What if I have you’re not jealous poof?”
The raise Spike was looking for appeared in the form of a growl erupting from Angels mouth and the wall crumbling as Angel’s fists met the wall.
Spike raised an eyebrow and made the final step “Touchy you ought to leash that anger it could do you some real damage especially if your human friends realised what provoked it”
Angel growled again “Spike what the hell are you doing here?”
“That’s no way to speak to your favourite grande childe”
Angel glowered at him and turned to look at Cordelia again “What the hell is he doing here?”
“He needs our help” Cordelia started trying to diffuse the tension feeling really inadequate between the two glowering vampires.
Before, however she could say anything Angel butted in “Helpless” he spat “He looks fine at the moment but give me a few minutes and that could all change”
She held up her hand when Spike started.
“Listen Angel he has a soul he came to us for guidance”
Angel blinked and looked at Cordelia as if she had grown a second head.
“Just because he has a soul…”
When Cordelia raised a finely formed eyebrow he simmered down trying to inject some calm into his voice he started again “Cordelia a soul only gives you a conscious, it gives you the ability to know right from wrong it doesn’t mean you have to be good. People with souls can do bad things…… One word Lawyers”
Cordelia knew she had to come up with something good if she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life living in Angel’s room to prevent her from doing something stupid like this again. Judging by Angel’s mood he wasn’t too far off the decision.
“Right, you’re absolutely right” at his shocked look she spared him one of her soft smiles the one that’s always made him melt. In her softest voices she added, “But Spike is choosing to do the right thing, it is in our benefit to have him fighting on our side than the powers of evil.
She gave him a half smile, one that he knew she knew made him do stupid things like walk into walls. He watched her place one arm on her hip and walk towards him, his eyes fixed on the delicate swing of her hips. A swing she had once confessed in one of their late night chats, that she had perfected after balancing 2 chem. books and one arrhythmic book on her head. Truth be told he felt very honoured to be the focus of Cordy’s “swing”, not many a man got even the time of day from Cordelia Chase.
He stopped himself from openly smiling at her underhanded antics. He watched with hooded eyes as she stopped a step away from him. Biting her lip and giving him her best ‘schoolgirl’ look she took the towel out of his hands and wrapped it round his neck. Angel the willing captive had to bite his tongue from saying something stupid or god forbid from babbling and ruining the mood. He felt the tug on his neck as she tugged him closer to her, she held his gaze for a minute and then gave him a cheeky wink. This time Angel let his smile escape letting his hands wrap themselves around her perfectly formed waist.
“Angel let him stay he’s got nowhere to go, he needs our help, think about how lost you were when you got your soul. Didn’t you wish you had somebody…. Anybody” completely memorised by her perfect lips and the way her tongue darted in and out it took Angel a couple of seconds for him to catch up with her words. She wanted him to let Spike stay here because he had a soul. Scowling mostly because his annoying grande childe had even found a way of weaselling in to his private moments with Cordelia he let go of her and crossed his arms. He missed her heat instantly but remained solid because he had to be strong and not give in, that was the key to getting his way with Cordelia yeah right like when has that ever happened . Still a guy had to try.
“Stay here?”
Ready to empty out his stomach in a bucket or two after seeing the cheerleader play with his sire he thought he should say something just to make his presence known “You know as much as I loved cheerleaders hospitality the lumpy couch just didn’t have the comfort I’m used to”
“Nothing a couple of vodka bottles didn’t help solve though” Cordelia snapped, feeling the need to defend her faithful couch.
Spike gave her an evil grin one that made Cordelia begrudgingly grin back in return “In my experience luv there’s not a thing in this world that a few bottles of vodka can’t solve”
“Oh is that so swami Ji?”
Smugly Spike said “Well haven’t been around for this long without learning a few worldy facts, you want I could show you a few of the other facts I’ve learnt?” he wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Angel still reeling from the implication that Spike may have stayed the night at Cordelia’s was having difficulty at registering the friendly banter and flirtation going on between the two. It had taken him 2 years to build enough of a friendship to flirt with Cordelia Chase and even then it had never been this open. Not that he didn’t want it to be open but he was pretty sure Cordelia would have had him for supper had he said something like that to her. Yet here Spike was acting like his usual juvenile self and Cordelia was all but swooning in his arms. What was it with her and mentally de-ranged men anyway? Was Xander Harris not enough of a lesson that she had to go onto ‘I would chase my own tail if I had one’ Groo and now…. Now Spike … of all the people she was flirting with Spike and they had been drinking? She never drank with him, he ignored the fact that the last time he had caught her getting drunk he had lectured her about the evil’s of drinking and then insisted she let him know which club she was going to. Then of course she had caught him stalking her. He winced and reminded himself that was NOT the point… the point was…. The point was SPIKE was pouching on his territory. Cordelia Chase was his fine he had decided to let her have a normal life by choosing not to say anything about his feelings for Cordelia but still……. She was HIS…. As in not Spike’s.
Roaring out loud grabbing a shirt from the side he strode over so Cordelia was blocked from Spike’s view he said
“What the hell is going on? Are you saying that you stayed the night at hers?”
Spike smirked and Cordelia groaned “Angel I can explain”
He cut Cordelia off with a glare “I rather hear this from Spike thank you, I have learnt from past experience that you have a tendency to ‘doctor’ the facts.”
Fuming she closed her mouth glaring at Spike sending him the message that he better not fuck things up. Spike heard the message loud and clear, fine he wouldn’t fuck things up but that wouldn’t stop him from having some fun first.
Spike smirked, completely content at the outraged look on Angel’s face.
“Chit offered me a place to stay last night and very nice it was to.” Leaving his imagination to do the rest he let Angel seethe in his own anger and jealousy.
Not being able to resist himself he added, “luv’ has some real stamina” He heard the groan coming from behind Angels back and decided that he could play with his sires emotions later now he desperately needed a place to stay.
“So I’ll just make my self comfortable in any old room shall I?” at that Spike was gone in a blink of an eye.
Part 5: First impressions can be deceptive
Wesley Wyndam Price was having a good day despite the fact that it had only just started, Conner being the good little nephew he was had decided not to disturb his uncle Wesley and was sleeping quietly in his bassinet. Fred and Gunn were out for the day on a case so they could go do their pawing somewhere else but the office, Angel and Cordelia to the best of his knowledge were throwing each other lustful and puppy eyed looks under the pretence of training downstairs in the basement and he had just received a phone call from his date from the other day confirming yet another dinner, he had just sent her 12 red roses via the internet all by himself and he was two chapters ahead in his book ‘1001 rare demon myths busted’.
He sighed and kicked back mentally patting himself on the back, this was what good leadership was all about, being on top of things, in charge, king of your castle.
“Well, well, if it isn’t ‘screw up Price’”
Wesley blinked and sat straight up not believing his eyes “Bloody hell, what the hell are you doing here?”
As quickly as he could he grabbed his cross and the nearest stake and bellowed, “Don’t come any nearer I am armed and trained, come any closer and I will have to fight you”
Spike watching amused and casually rolled of his tongue “Relax watcher if I wanted to kill you I could have killed you when I came in with cheerleader”
Cheerleader? Oh that was Cordelia…. Oh god he had come in with Cordelia.
Spike watched closely as the watcher took in his words, then there was a complete transformation, the watcher who had held the cross rather comically dropped it and reached for a crossbow, back straight and not an ounce of fear showing he said “Spike tell me what you’ve done with her or I warn you there’ll be no-one worse than me?”
Feeling that he had come to the end of his game because he was quite convinced that the watcher would fire the cross, and watching closely he was quite sure that it wouldn’t miss he rolled his eyes and sat down on the chair opposite “Listen watcher you must be the only person that doesn’t know about my bleeding problems”
“I heard that you had somehow managed to be fixed with a chip that restricted you from harming innocents but I also heard your sire soon managed to fix it for you”
“Best thing she ever did for me” Spike said morosely at Wesley’s sceptical look he got up in outrage “I’ve got a soul like poof downstairs… have a conscious”
He looked shocked but the crossbow didn’t move “What?”
“I’ve seen the bleeding light….. baptised myself with a soul… repenting for my sins”
“I don’t believe you now where is Cordelia?”
“Downstairs trying to calm poof down after he found out we spent last night together”
“YOU WHAT?” Wesley pulled back on the lever of his crossbow and got ready to shoot.
“Oh come on has everybody here had their sense of humour removed…. Chit let me stay for a night at her place when I had nowhere to go… I have a soul I didn’t lay a finger on her”
“I don’t believe you?”
Spike sighed and walked out and shouted “Fine go downstairs and check your self, I’ll be upstairs making myself at home”
Outraged Wesley managed to say, “You’re staying here? Why didn’t anyone bloody well tell me after all I’m only the boss around here.”
Wesley Wyndam Price was convinced this was the worst day ever.
Part 6: Only fools love
“…. So what you took pity on SPIKE, can I just remind you what he did to me last time he came to town, tortured me and left me to die whilst trying to become invincible the fool…”
“Yes I know but…”
“And on top of all of that how many times has he tried to kill Buffy? You know what they said about him. You know what Willow told you about him and still…still… You let him into your house… at midnight not telling anyone…. You could have called me….. Wesley, Gunn, …..ME…. Why the hell didn’t you call me? I would of thought if a homicidal maniac came knocking on your door at the middle of the night you would have had the brains to……………”
“Now hang on a minute,” Cordelia said raising her hand and voice rising to meet his she took a deep breath to calm her self, fed up of having to listen to Angel telling her how stupid she was. She had listened and listened knowing if she retaliated he would only be aggravated further but really where the hell did he get off? “ First of all you have no say what so ever in who I do or don’t let into my flat, second Spike is no longer THAT Spike he has a soul and frankly I find it slightly hypocritical that you ask people to trust you because you have a soul and yet don’t extend the same courtesy to someone that really needs it and THIRDLY No I didn’t know I could have phoned you last night because you were in such a pissy state and really I would have rather had a smack down with SPIKE than disturb your precious beauty sleep.” She finished adding a big fat HUMPH at the end.
He looked at her and wondered if he had ever seen her more beautiful cheeks red with anger and frustration, lips jutted out in all their full glory and her wild hazel eyes deeper, darker and more vivid than he had ever seen them before. He watched her glare at him obviously expecting an answer, but he couldn’t offer her one, as usual she was right… apart from the bit where he didn’t have any say on who got to go in and out of her flat, even if she didn’t know it.
Luckily Wesley saved him “Why the hell is William the bloody here?”
“Because Cordelia is adopting him as her new project” Angel spat out.
Wesley’s eyes widened and when he looked at Cordelia’s determined face and stubborn posture he groaned, “Please tell me that he’s mistaken Cordelia”
Cordelia scoffed “Of course he’s mistaken”
Wesley was pleasantly surprised and said “Oh well I’ll just tell him to vacate the premises”
“No that’s not what I meant”
“Oh”
“I mean he’s our project it’s what we do right helping the helpless”
“I have some qualms with calling Spike helpless… in fact I have some qualms with YOU calling Spike helpless Cordelia” he gave her a stern look his icy blue eyes letting her know that he was not happy at all.
“Thank god someone agrees with me” Angel muttered and the turned to look at Wesley directly “You know you being the boss and all, you could put a stop to this”
Cordy opened her mouth in outrage “That’s a fine thing coming from you. Mr. I only want to think of Wesley as boss if I want something out of him”
“That’s not true Cordy” Angel said calmly adding a fake sincere smile on he turned to Cordelia “I respect Wesley as a boss, he’s a good diplomatic and organised leader and frankly I think he’s the best thing that’s happened to us”
“Alright ass wipe we got it you can lick ass but let me tell you this no-one likes a suck” Cordelia said disgusted with Angel “Listen Wesley we should let Spike stay with us because…”
“You know if I didn’t know any better Wes I’d say she was bossing you around” Angel quipped that earned him a further glare from his seer. He let his smirk show which only annoyed her further “Listen ANGEL no-body asked for your opinion so why don’t you run along and go back to your precious bag, it might actually listen to you after all it can’t answer back”
“Listen Cordelia just because you’re not getting your way like your used to doesn’t mean you take it out on me” Angel said smugly.
Just as Cordelia got hold of Angel by the scruff of his neck Wesley intervened “That’s enough you two. I can tell you that I am quite capable of making a decision on my own, your inputs are quite futile. Cordelia Spike will not be staying with us”
Happy he had got his way Angel looked at Cordelia still clutching his collar and motioned for her to get off it. Dejectedly she did.
“Don’t feel too bad Cor you tried,” he cooed.
She sighed and shrugged and nodded, unnervingly calm “Fine, that’s okay I see your point, I’ll just have to go it alone. I mean if you guys won’t help me then he will just have to carry on staying with me and I’ll help him all by little old self”
Wesley sighed not even knowing why he bothered “Cordelia….”
“No” Cordelia held up her hand calmly as if telling Wesley to not say another word and carried on in her understanding tone “Wes you’re right after all why should we help the vampire with a soul find his way? It’s not like he could ever amount to anything not like he could be a champion or anything right?”
Wesley was caught out and worst still he knew that she knew he was caught out by the way she was smugly smiling at him. To say that Spike would never result in anything would be to negate all the hard work and energy Angel had put in to his mission, but to admit that Spike could result as something would be just agreeing with Cordelia.
He sighed, “Fine he can stay but there will have to ground rules, it’s imperative with Conner around that we all keep out guard up”
“Wes you know Conner can’t be harmed in any way I made a deal with the powers and they are going to have to stick with it”
“Yes how could we forget?” Angel said dryly.
“What is your problem?”
“I don’t know what you mean”
Cordelia raised an eyebrow “I mean Angel ever since I told you that the powers were willing to protect Conner you’ve been acting all….. all…. Pooey”
Angel looked at her blankly “Pooey?”
Cordelia huffed and crossed her arms “Yes Angel pooey like it was the last thing you wanted”
“You know that’s not true Cordy the reason I’ve been acting pooey as you put it so eloquently is because you forgot to mention the fact that you had to give up your wings for all of this, eternal youth, invincibility, a kingdom to rule over and no risk of any harm ever coming to you again”
Cordelia sniffed and the gave him her best indignant look “Anyone would think that you didn’t want me here, you know I can still go if you want me to?”
Sensing that the argument the two were having was going into dangerous territory Wesley decided the best thing was to pull them apart “Ahem maybe you two want to….”
“SHUT UP WESLEY” the two said in unison.
“If you don’t want me here just say so Angel because all I have to do is pack my bags and go”
“Well that would be just ideal for you wouldn’t it?”
“I can’t win can I? I leave I’m betraying you, if I don’t I’m messing with your plans”
“Well then maybe you should do as you please”
“Fine I will”
Noses touching they both stood there glaring at each other neither of them backing down Wesley had a horrible feeling this was not going to end with them kissing and making up.
“You two maybe…”
“SHUT UP WESLEY”
“Angel if you want me out you’re going to have to say so or I’m not going”
“I don’t remember saying that Wesley do you remember me saying that?” Angel glanced at the watcher briefly.
“Well I….”
“Right there see” Angel interrupted and waved an arm at Wesley “You’re putting words into my mouth as usual.”
“Oh please like when have I ever told you what to do? And when have you ever listened?”
“Shouldn’t that be my line Cordelia?”
Glowing slightly Cordelia furthered so that there bodies were pressed together “Say that again”
Angel dipped his head so that his eyes were zeroed in on her lips “I said Cordy…..” Just then Cordelia gasped and pushed him away. At first Angel thought it was her usual resistance and scowled thinking he had disgusted her, peeved at the thought he turned but then Wesley spoke “Angel for gods sake hold her she’s having a vision.”
He turned to see Cordelia aimlessly wondering around the room one hand out in front of her to stop her from bumping into things but otherwise she was blind to this world. His heart immediately melted his anger now directed at him, how could he be so ungrateful she had sacrificed a perfect world for what little he had to offer. How could he shun her like that? But that was why he was doing it to protect her, so she wouldn’t have to make another sacrifice for him like that, because she felt she owed it to him. He didn’t want her to give up on what little chance she had at happiness. Not that she ever listened to him.
He grabbed hold of her lost and confused figure and listened carefully to the words she was saying “Spike…blood…fighting…dark….mist….”
It was more confusing than usual and Angel was having a hard time keeping up with her words.
When the vision ended she gasped for air and squeezed Angels hand until he was pretty sure that a bone was ready to crack but he didn’t let go, she needed him.
When she opened her eyes all he could see was white and for a panic stricken moment he thought she had gone blind and his whole body went dumb, then to his relief the colour came rushing back first the black then the brown and then the wild green.
He smiled softly at her, so did she once she could focus in on it but he could see that her thoughts were some place else. That was who Cordy was always about the mission and then herself second.
“What did you see Cordelia?” Wesley came next to her and offered a friendly smile.
She shook her head “It’s not for us…. I mean it’s not for Angel it’s for Spike”
Angel bristled and tried to step back but Cordelia was still holding his hand so he stood still listening to her voice but not really registering it, too busy thinking of ways he could kill his grande childe inflicting as much pain as possible.
“I don’t know how I know I just do… It’s not even something we can research… It felt like some kind of test for Spike… something we couldn’t stop even if we wanted to….”
“So why would the powers send you a vision”
“So HE could take my seer away from me as well!!! It’s not good enough that their just friends is it?….Oh no” he stopped when he noticed the two giving him blank looks realising that he was speaking his thoughts out loud Angel shut his mouth.
“I think they were telling us that there was no argument as to whether we help him or not.. if we don’t he’s going to fail this test….” Cordelia looked pointedly at the two men “Well then now neither of you can argue with me because the powers have said we have to help him”
Angel growled and this time managed to release himself Spike was intruding into every part of his life not only had the imbecile managed to become friends with Cordelia but they had obviously bonded in a way a very few got to with Cordelia Chase and now she was having visions about him. If Cordelia would always be something to him it would be his seer, no matter how much he wanted to push her away he couldn’t because of that single bond, and secretly he was eternally grateful for it. He needed Cordelia Chase he just wasn’t sure if he could give her everything she needed.
“Angel will you stop being such a baby, he needs us”
He looked at her pleading eyes and he sighed since when could he ever say no to Cordelia? “Fine, but Cordelia Wesley has a point we still have to be careful”
She nodded something darker coming into her eyes something he didn’t recognise but he was not entirely sure that it had everything to do with Spike “Angel he’s been through a lot, but I know that doesn’t automatically make him a warrior for the good. I’ve seen you “beige” remember all I’m asking is that we give him the same opportunity you got.”
He nodded knowing that all she was asking for was some understanding on Spike’s behalf, it just annoyed him that his seer and his childe had become so close in a small amount of time.
He took a step closer to her and cupped her cheek, stroking it with his thumb. She smiled a soft Mona Lisa smile.
“You okay?” he asked enchanted by the way the slow blush crept its way up her neck, enjoying the fact that he was doing this to her.
She sighed a nice hearty sigh and said “Yeah I am now. I hate it when we fight”
He nodded and took another step closer and hugged her with his other arm “Yeah me too”
She bit her lip and an uncertainty washed over her eyes “It’s just that’s all we seem to be doing lately and today… god Angel today I nearly walked out”
A chill came over his body at the thought of loosing Cordelia and soberly he said, “I know but we don’t mean it. I don’t… I don’t want you to leave Cordelia”
She knew he wasn’t lying and hated her self for ruining such a perfect moment but she had to know what was bugging him “But Angel we can’t carry on like this we’ll drive each other crazy”
She looked into his eyes silently pleading with him but she was shocked at what she saw, his eyes went from loving and tender to hard and cold and he stepped back leaving her in the cold and lost away from his strong and loving embrace “Angel?”
“It has to be like this Cordelia”
“But why… I thought we… I thought we….”
“Cordelia don’t I can’t” he turned his back on her hating to hurt her like this but knowing it was for the best. He couldn’t let her risk everything for his sake he had to be strong and he had to be brave.
“Cordelia you should go”
“But?”
“Cordelia I told you I can’t”
“You can’t or you won’t” he could practically see the angry face the perfect pout and the crossed arms. He closed his eyes.
“Neither I just don’t” the minute he said it was if cement made its way down his throat stopping him from saying something, and if he was human he was sure he would have suffocated by now. Stopping, waiting he heard her small gasps the ones she was trying to even out for his benefit not wanting to show him that he had effected her, he could smell the salt tears that were no doubt pooling at the rim of her eyes but she would not shed until she was on her own away from everybody’s eyes. He still didn’t look back knowing that if he did he would break, he would do something that betrayed everything his brain was telling him to do.
“You don’t “ she said with a small quiver in her voice.
He shook her head and then remembering she couldn’t see him he tried to make his voice work, tried not to reveal his own turmoil “No I don’t”
“So why… Point dune… Why? For so long you just let me believe… I thought all this time you just weren’t ready…. but really you didn’t… you don’t…. WHY”
“Cordelia it’s complicated” He turned his back smelling the salt tears that were collecting themselves in her pretty eyes.
“Complicated” she spat and then quietened but he didn’t turn around because he could hear her small gasps of air and her attempts at trying to stay brave no wanting to break down in front of yet another man that had betrayed her. She would cry, but she would cry alone in the darkness of her room comforted only by Dennis’s invisible hand… and he would watch from the next building hands itching to comfort her but knowing he couldn’t because this time it was his fault.
But for all the pain and all the hurt this was worth while, this way she could be free not be restrained by the dark shackles he had to give but the openness and light any other mortal being could give. This was the best for her, she didn’t need him or love him as much as she thought she did, she would get over him, he was convinced, but it hurt him so, to break her to break the promise that he would never lie again to her.
Lying was a small price to pay though if it meant she could be happy.
“So what you thought you would have your fun with me first, string me along and then just discard me?”
He shook his head violently surely she must know he would never treat her like that “It wasn’t like that Cordelia… I was confused… I thought we could be happy together”
“So what you changed your mind?”
“Yes…No…. I realised it wouldn’t be fair… Because….I don’t….. because Buffy”
“What?” came her strangled voice “Buffy you still… I thought you were over her… You mean to say I was second best to Buffy all this time?” she said with as much scorn in her voice as she could muster.
He stayed quiet trying to calm all the thoughts in his head that were telling him not to let her go… telling him not to do this to her. Not to her…. He needed her.. her warm embrace her understanding, her acceptance it was something he had thrived off for years and now he was asking him self to give it up just like that.
“I think I should go now… Not be here… don’t expect me to come in tomorrow or maybe ever”
He clenched his fists that were aching to go hold her, keep her here with him, his feet that instinctively had moved towards her direction were stopped with all his will power and all he felt was the numb pain that rushed over his body. An ache that started in the hollow of his dead heart and rippled throughout his whole body.
He heard her run upstairs and sensed her leaving the hotel and only then did he relax comforted by the fact he could not reach her, the sun dividing their worlds once again.
“I hope you have a decent explanation for that charade because I for one am not prepared to stand back and let you ruin our family again. You do realise if she walks we all walk?”
Wesley. Wesley’s presence forgotten until now, he had been so consumed in Cordelia’s love and pain he had no time or energy for any other presence.
“You don’t understand”
“Well we agree on something” Wesley came out of the shadow he had previously been standing in and narrowed his sharp blue eyes on Angel.
“I love her”
“Love her?” Wesley spat “Funny way of showing your affection last time I checked the best way was a bunch of red roses and a box of chocolates not a slap in the bloody face”
“Wesley stay out of this… This has nothing to do with you”
Wesley gave a laugh drenched in cynicism and disbelief “Nothing to do with me? Angel don’t be so conceited it has everything to do with me. Who was it that picked up the pieces last time you messed with her life, the last time you broke her trust and left her in pieces? Who had to see the pain and hurt she had to endure who had try again and again to make it better but failed every time? ME. She is every bit of my concern, I would do anything for the girl and more. I won’t let you break her this time”
“She’s stronger than you think Wes. Remember the visions?”
“No she’s not. The only thing that must of kept her going was the fact that it would have hurt us more to know that she was dieing. She kept it from us because she didn’t want to destroy us the way she knew it would, but when it comes to you… don’t you see Angel she gives her everything to you never holding back, and now you’ve left her empty, giving her nothing in return.
You of all people should know what it is like to have a fruitless love, how it is to love someone but never expecting anything back? Angel you have left her world barren of all hope and love taken that away from her and all you can say is ‘ she’s stronger than you think’, her strength OUR strength is in the foundation of this family Angel. A family that she sacrificed a perfect life for, a family she had complete faith in until now. She knew what she was a doing the day she came back to us yet you insist on treating her like a child that has made some huge mistake”
His words stung bringing the reality of what he had just done crashing in around him. How would he face her now? Tell her that he still needed her when he had broken her in ways she had never allowed herself to be broken. What were they going to do without her?
He hadn’t thought just let what he had thought was right lead him.
Now he was facing a life without her he was pretty sure that he had done the wrong thing, tears falling down his eyes as freely as rain during a storm, blood boiling in the injustice of it all he crumbled and fell to the floor.
But Wesley did not stop, sparing him a disgusted look he said “And do you know what’s worse? She will come back… She’ll come back because she knows the mission is more important than any game you play. She’ll come back with a bright smile on her face and happy words for everybody but you and she’ll fight until she breaks for good, but would you care? That’s what you’re good at isn’t it? Breaking spirits?”
Shaking his head wildly he tried to tell Wesley no but still the words that Wesley had buried for 2 years flowed out of his mouth “And she may well survive she may cope but do you think she will ever believe anyone again… trust anyone again like she did you? You have left her good for no one including herself. You’ve sucked her dry just like a vampire would” Wesley snapped but when he looked around to spare Angel one last look of hatred he was gone and the sewer grate left open to tell of his escape route.
Part 7: Ripples in a pond
“So what Angel just left?”
“Bro’s probably boning some blonde as we’re talking right now”
“NO!!! He wouldn’t do that. Angel loves Cordelia he has to… he did all of those things for her…..Conner he has sweet Conner to think about”
“Yeah right love!!!! He’s a vampire Fred they don’t do lovin all that well in case you don’t notice”
“Now Gunn let’s be fair… As much as I hate to say it from what I gather Angel does love Cordelia in his own tainted way. Sometimes Angel can be so blinded by his own sense of superiority he fails to see the significance of decisions other people make.”
“Whatever dawg… you do what you please all I know is nobody tears our girl up like that and gets away with it, so if I have to take Angel down by myself I will”
“Oh and that’s bloody realistic”
“It’s better than sitting around on my sorry ass and trying to do my best Fraud expression”
“Are you implying that I am not taking this as seriously as you are? Because I’ll have you know out of any of us barring Angel I have known her the longest”
“What that means you feel for her the most does it?”
“I think it gives me an in you two do not have, yes I do”
“So your way of showing your stupid in is to let vamp boy run right over Cordy nah man I don’t buy it. You ask me your whimpin”
“I am certainly not a coward and I resent any person who says similar and may I remind you, you are talking to your boss and not only to your friend”
“Well if this is how our boss deals with things, I’ll be leaving”
“GUYS. What are you two saying? You don’t really mean that. Don’t you see if we break as well then there will be nobody here? We have to stay strong at times like this work together. Charles Wesley is not whimpin and he’s trying to find a way through this that isn’t going to hurt anybody more than we have to, Wesley Cordelia’s told you enough times that no body likes a boss that have their heads stuck up their…. Well a place where heads shouldn’t be”
“Quite you’re right Fred. I think this thing with Cordelia all has us a bit shaken and overreacting”
“Yeah dawg you know I think you’re the best… it’s just it’s Cordy”
“Oh god Charles what are we going to do without her?”
Spike listened to the girl crying in the black man’s arms and both men trying to comfort her. He stood in his spot in the shadows figuring he had heard enough, his wanker of a grand sire had broken the cheerleaders heart in a way that Angelus’s unsouled half would be proud of.
His heart went out to the cheerleader there was no love like unrequited love. With a snarl he thought that the slayer and his grandsire would make a jolly couple together after all they were both as heartless as the other. Sneaking through the shadows with stealth only vampires had he found himself walking through the sewers his instincts guiding him to cheerleaders apartment.
Part 8: True friends
Swearing loudly and shouting a few select angry words she flung several garments into her suitcase not really noticing they were items of clothing’s that were completely unsuitable to her needs, a sweater she had grown out of but never had the heart to throw out, a sandal that she had broken the strap of, another pair of mismatching shoes, and a dress that had been several sizes too big for her, but she had kept it because Wesley had been so excited that he had managed to go shopping all by himself and she didn’t have the heart to tell him it wouldn’t fit, she had even worn it twice.
In a similar mad haphazard way she flung several other useless pieces into the small suitcase and then her hand grabbed on to a picture and she froze. It was one of her holding Conner and Angel beaming in the background. For a moment she was sure she would die there and then, breathing made impossible by the sheer emotion that lodged it self in her throat. This had been her dream, an impossible dream but she had been given so much hope and now… now it was ruined because he didn’t love her and she had been foolish enough to think otherwise.
As the frame crashed into the wall and fell down it’s glass frame breaking into a hundred different pieces, so did she falling to the floor breaking down to cry, gut wrenching sobs escaped her mouth as she pounded the floor with her tiny fists. Ready to give in ready to die right there because she had fallen and she couldn’t see how she was ever going to get up again, then two strong arms lifted her up and she was being carried in a cocoon of strength and certainty she did not recognise but welcomed anyway. She nestled her head further into the mysterious chest and cried not as loud or as heart aching as previously but small sobs like a little girl wanting to be cuddled by her mother because she had fallen and scraped her knee.
She was placed on her sofa and the pieces of hair that clung to her face were swiped away.
“You know Casper I could use some help here”
The British accent made her open her eyes “Spike”
“The one and only”
“What the hell are you doing here? I don’t want you to see me like this go away”
“I’ve seen worser things believe me luv”
“I still don’t want you here” she scowled at the floor her crying receding into small hic cup like noises.
“Don’t care I’m not moving and I don’t think you’re in any state to move me, and considering Casper let me in”
“Don’t call him that, when he gets mad at Wesley he flings his favourite books at him, he might fling a stake at you if you’re not careful” she smiled fondly at the empty air above her and her hair was ruffled in affection by the said ghost.
Spike squatted in front of her and said, “You shouldn’t leave, running away is only going to make it worse”
“You’re a fine one to talk”
“My situation was different”
“Yeah how’s that?”
“I think poof loves you, Buffy never loved me”
“You don’t know that and you’re only saying that about Angel because you’re not having to live with it yourself, it’s easy to judge something when you’re not a part of it.”
Spike stayed quiet.
“I had a vision about you”
“Hope they caught my good side”
Rolling her eyes she said “You’re going to be tested they want you to deserve this soul Spike, you’re going to have to fight like you’ve never fought before. If you really want this Spike then you’re going to have fight all of your demons every last one of them”
His eyes were distant and sad “It’s not worth it luv, I’m sick of fighting sick of this bloody soul they can have it back” he said bitterly.
“You don’t mean that Spike”
His crystal blue eyes looked into hers a mocking sneer marked in his every feature “Course I do, you don’t know what it’s like having to fight between two things all the time, one telling you to rip it’s head off the other telling you to save it. Both sides have equal weight it takes my everything not to kill, not to destroy anything that gets in my way. Want, take, have that’s what vampires are about I’m a vampire, it’s who I am but I’m stuck with human emotions. It’s like a fish stuck with wings, never being able to go out onto the land only ever breaking the surface. Having the ability to fly but will never survive it.”
“I know that but one day you will be, one day you’ll be able to fly Spike, Angel has his sanshu and you will have something to, the powers can’t let you go un-rewarded think of all the good things you can do”
“You don’t understand chit, we want things our souls won’t let us have I won’t be able to survive that long you couldn’t possible understand”
“But I do” she whispered, “The powers showed me everything”
“Seeing it and feeling it is different”
“No you don’t understand I did feel it, I was him, they put me in Angelus’s body and then in the victims bodies, I felt everything” a fresh batch of tears worked their way down her cheeks and she looked away “They gave me a chance to come back to this world, but I would have to give everything up everybody knows that but what they don’t know is they showed me everything Angelus had done to test me to see if I was as loyal to my champion as I said I was”
Spike shook hi head disbelievingly “Poof doesn’t know this”
“No I never got him alone to talk to him about it, he always avoided me like the plague after I came back, I passed the test and they said I could have anything I wanted for being one of their truest champions and do you know what I asked for?” she choked “A permanent soul and protection for Conner and a guarantee they would never interfere with my life again apart from the visions that would be my only contact with them. So now you see Angel really can be with Buffy but he doesn’t know that yet I thought I’d tell him about the soul when we..when we finally you know”
Spike sat stunned not knowing what to say “But why, why come back to him?”
“Because Spike a monster isn’t what my Angel is, that’s Angelus, I’ve seen the battles he fights, I know the reason behind him brooding and hiding in shadows I’m not stupid I know sometimes that hardest thing is to wake up in the morning. I’ve also seen Angel fall, loose his mission, loose his family, but I’ve seen the lengths he will go to get us back. I believe him because I see the internal battles he wins everyday, and that’s just it Spike he beats his demons he’s strong enough, Spike I’ve seen the man and the monster, and as everyday goes by I see the monster gets smaller and smaller because he fights it.”
“Still not clever enough to keep you is he?”
She humphed and glowered again “No you’re right he said he didn’t love me he loved Buffy, can you believe that after all I’ve done for him?”
“I can the guy was always a pillock”
She giggled despite herself she was so used to the ‘bloody hell’s’ from Wesley’s stiff upper lip accent that it sounded funny to her Spike’s cockneys accent.
“Tell you what why don’t we solve this over a nice bottle of vodka”
She sat up straight and felt her head go dizzy from all the crying, “I don’t know I should be packing”
“Okay then pack when we get back and I’ll come with you”
“You?”
“Yeah could do with a nice vacation”
“Yeah but what about my image”
“Now hang on a minute does Mascara lady really want to talk about image”
Cordelia covered her face and muttered a “shit”
Spike chuckled as she made a mad dash to the bathroom.
Maybe he would run away with the cheerleader it would certainly kill two birds with one stone, if Buffy ever found out he had run off with Cordelia she would have a fit. Even now when Cordelia’s name was mentioned in passing the slayer’s lip would do a funny half curl thing and her eyes would twitch ever so slightly. Then there was his granddaddy, Spike had always had his leftovers but this time it could be different, Cordelia was untouched by Angel yet. Spike gave a satisfied nod, this wouldn’t be messy they would both know where they stood, they wouldn’t be in love with each other but they would make great companions until they got bored of each other. Spike knew that his demon was happier with this arrangement than anything else but it wasn’t like he was forcing her, she would know what she was getting into.
It was only when he heard her crying again silently in the bathroom he realised that Angelus through the masses of girls he had bedded had never touched them in ways he had touched the cheerleader. They were lovers in every way that counted even if they hadn’t slept with each other and the shocking bit was, was that he didn’t want to take that away from his grand sire one of them deserved it, even if it wasn’t him.
Disgusted at the thought of him turning soft he got up and yelled “Hurry up luv’ I’m guessin’ you’re not going to let me light up in ‘ere”
“Not if you want to die a very slow and agonising death because you “accidentally” swallowed a lighted cigarette ”
He smirked it wouldn’t have worked anyway he liked his girls a lot less mouthy.
Part 9: Playing with fate
“And then he said he didn’t love me so me and Spike are going away” Cordelia finished telling Lorne everything.
Lorne nodded his head sympathetically, genuinely feeling for the girl “So getting back to the bit where you told him I let you drink at my place…. what did he threaten me with this time decapitation…”
“That won’t kill you”
Lorne jutted his chin out hurt a little at her lack of compassion “Yes well listening to Angelkins sing doesn’t kill you either but we all know how much that hurts”
She cringed and gave him a sympathetic nod “I didn’t tell him”
“Really” he brightened up but he quickly buried his joy when he saw how upset the princess was “Yeah figured few people as possible should be dragged down in this”
He smoothed the creases in his polyester aqua marine suit and stood up from where he was leaning on the bar “I could have taken it”
She arched an eyebrow at him and he went back to leaning on the bar table “So you and your new pal going to go away huh?”
“Yup”
“He’s going to need something to look forward to because the time directly ahead of him not good”
“I know, had a vision”
“Mmmhmmm” Lorne said concentrating on the said vampire bellowing out ‘I will survive’.
“So does he have a chance?”
“Are we speaking odds here?”
“Mmmhmmm”
“You know I’m not technically allowed to tell you this stuff”
“Yeah but I’m sorta like his guide I got to know….. you know get him prepped up for the big fight”
“Well then get prepping sweet cheeks, “ he said waving to a blue furry demon at the far end of the bar and pouring a green liquid which Cordelia knew she didn’t want to know anything about if she ever wanted to eat again “…because” Lorne continued “If we’re talking betting odds” he frowned looking at Spike his eyes scrutinising the invisible area around him “Well let’s just say I would invest heavily on the other side and I’m not a betting man”
She slumped as Lorne made his way to the other end of the bar drink in hand.
“So where’s your aura reader?”
“Gone to give someone an unmentionable drink”
Spike sighed and picked up the mug of blood he had discarded earlier on and took a huge gulp it had been a whole day since he had fed and he hadn’t realised how much he had needed it until he had swallowed his first gulp and it had hit his body like the first drop of rain on desert sand. A warmth filled his body when he finished the cup.
“You know chit I reckon there’s nothing to worry about, how hard can it be? I know all of my demons face ‘em everyday”
A small smile and a quick nod was all he got and then her eyes went back to the green demon that had been their bartender the previous night.
“What’s the matter luv?”
“Spike …Lorne’s way better at this”
He spoke in a nonchalance but Cordelia could see through it “So I’ll fail luv’ not the end of the world, one more baddie for you guys to kill”
Then he added quickly “Do it if you have to I won’t spare you, you know that right?”
“We’ve been through this that isn’t you, you is with a soul”
“But a part of that is me and if you angered me enough I wouldn’t spare you either”
She kept her cool but felt the cold sweat run down her spine all the same, he said it with such confidence and she barely knew him.
“If it helped I would be an easier target now”
Spike stretched his arms and left his heart area free.
She slapped him around the face and shouted “Don’t be silly, I’m not in the habit of killing my friends you better go back to Sunnydale if you want that, I heard a certain slayer has no problems sending her boyfriends to hell.” She said bitterly and then laughed as she saw Spikes dazed look “ Come on Spike nothing is ever written in stone you know that. All that matters is what we do, not what we think we’re going to do”
Spike growled and sniffed a little “Did you just slap me you daft bint”
She grinned mischievously “You better stop saying stupid things around me, other wise it will happen again”
“You know not many people would have got away with that… not many people would have dared to do that” he said secretly admiring her strength.
She giggled and sipped her coke and vodka though the pink straw “Oh you don’t scare me. I’ve seen street people with gum problems scarier than you… your just a big cuddly stray poodle”
He was suddenly filled with images of Dru’s fascination with puppies, cuddling them, petting them, feeding them and then breaking their necks, he shook his head and looked to the brunette next to him. Shocked by the uncanny likeness he murmured “Dru?” but then Drusilla was gone and Cordelia was back again looking at him strangely “Did you just call me what I think you called me?”
He coughed positive he had seen Dru’s face for a fleeting moment he shook his head and when Lorne made his way down he was pulled to the side to have a word with.
“So what did you see?”
Lorne frowned at the agitated vampire “Not much”
Spike growled, “What do you mean not much”
“I mean nothing you don’t know. You’re going to be tested”
“And I’m going to fail”
Lorne wagged a finger at him “That decision my dear friend is down to you. It’s going to be as hard as getting a boy band to hit the right note” he paused to chuckle at his own joke drumming his fingers on his stomach merrily but then he saw Spike glower at him and sobered “ but it can happen. It will happen if you don’t give in”
“So what the bloody hell does that tell me?” Spike protested.
Lorne gave Spike a meaningful look “That Mr peroxide your fate lies in you own hands if you want this bad enough you’ll get it. Not everything in life is handed to us on a silver platter. After all you can’t have the groove if you don’t have the moves brother” another chuckle but then his scarlet eyes went serious “ She loves you”
Shocked Spike nearly dropped his whisky “What cheerleader”
“No you muffin the girl who’s waiting at home for you”
“No she doesn’t”
Lorne gave him an agitated look “Didn’t you get it when I said nothing is handed to you on a silver platter?”
“No I didn’t maybe you can say it in bloody English for me next time and I will”
“I was going for the mysterious look and hopefully the princess will have the brains to take you somewhere else next time so they’re won’t have to be a NEXT TIME” Lorne huffed at him and walked off giving Cordelia a roll of the eyes.
“A bloody foolish look if you ask me”
He walked over to Cordelia “Chit why the hell does green man keep on calling you princess”
Cordelia grinned “Nuh uh first of all you got to tell me all about you and Buffy” she patted the seat next to him and he begrudgingly took it.
Part 10: Getting even
He sniffed for her scent it still lingered along with the idiot Spike’s but they weren’t there the room made no noise and there was no gentle beating of his seer’s heartbeat. He had spent hours running through sewers trying to get the words Wesley had spat at him out of his head. But he was right he had sucked her dry but he wanted to make it better, he had realised he needed Cordy.
He hit the wall in anger, why wasn’t she there? He needed to talk to her explain to her why he had done what he had done. Make her see sense, that he did care but couldn’t give her commitment. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want her to leave, what if they’d already left, riding off into the night laughing and playing with each other.
He growled there was only one way to find out where they were.
Caritas.
Part 11: Let it begin
She wiped at her eyes and clutched at her sides trying to stop the ache “How is that Angel has never told me this stuff?”
“Probably embarrassed Angelus wasn’t always the genius he made out bloody great poof.”
“You know what’s really bad?”
“What luv?”
“I still love him”
“Yeah so do I”
“Didn’t think Angel was your type or is it that whole love/hate thing that does it for you?”
“No I meant Buffy I still love her even though she told me straight to my face that she didn’t, hated me even”
“We’re pathetic”
“Talk about your self chit”
“Oh so you’re not sitting here whining about some blonde that you can’t have”
“Whining?”
“Practically chewed my ear off”
“Well what about me?” his eyes crossed but he got up angrily all the same “I had to hear you tell me all about the poof not exactly my favourite pass time”
“Yeah and Buffy and me were such good friends back in the day”
He smirked sitting down again because really he couldn’t see anything, and every time he looked at the person singing at the front he saw Dry singing with her dollies.
He blinked “I think I’m delusional”
“Well drink 4 bottles of vodka and it’ll do it to you”
“I’ve drank more than that before and held it in”
“Must be old age”
“You know I could think of better things to do with that big mouth of yours,” he said meaning every word of it and adding the leer to prove it.
“What?” Cordelia turned to stare at him.
He blinked shocked he had said anything “Chit I think we should be going now”
Flinging a couple of bills towards Lorne she nodded and walked out into the cool air.
The air hit her flushed body like ice on steaming metal. It hurt but woke her up enough to suspect there was something very wrong with the way Spike was behaving.
He had stopped walking and he was looking at the empty space in front of him like it was a bottomless pit.
“Spike what is it?”
“Do you see it?”
“See what?”
“The body?”
“What body?” she felt a chill in the air that shouldn’t have been there, they were in L.A and suddenly she KNEW things weren’t right.
He looked up face even paler than usual “The woman in front of me, my first, she had refused William her hand and gone after some gentleman, so I killed her, look there right in front of me”
But she couldn’t see in fact she couldn’t see anything a grey fog filled the gap between her and Spike it penetrated the empty space all around her a sulphur like smell filling her nostrils.
“Spike my visions this is it, you’re going to have to fight. Fight it Spike FIGHT”
She heard him howl in pain, not a shout or cry for help but something primal ghastly, internal, something that made her shake in fear, she couldn’t see it but she was pretty sure Spike had morphed she heard his ferocious growling, like a wild cat being contained.
“Fight it Spike…. You can be everything for Buffy, she’ll see sense after all she’s not a real blonde you know” the joke didn’t do anything to lighten her mood or his, he was still growling and she was still shaking.
She walked further into the mist so she could be with him tell him not to be scared. But the fog was never ending and Spike’s screams seemed so far away.
There was a moving and she stiffened if Spike had become a vampire than she had to stake him, she knew it, but she wouldn’t give in just yet.
She heard him shouting at something “No Dru leave me alone, I don’t want her I don’t want her”
“Spike I’m coming. Don’t be afraid Spike you’re not alone”
“No” his strangled cry came “Run…. Dru she’ll kill you she knows you’re here to help me …Run”
But even as he said it his voice drowned and a growl erupted from him and Dru’s sing song voice was heard “That’s it Spikey come back to me, and then we can be one big happy, family daddy’s on his way too, I get feel it in my bones. You’d like that wouldn’t you luv to be one with your sire again.”
“Bitch” Cordelia cried uselessly into the thick air but all that came in reply was a little girl’s shriek and Drusilla’s laughter.
“Feels good doesn’t it Spikey? Human blood, warm and sweet like honey, shall we go after the seer now, we can make her one of us if you’re fond of her”
Cordelia stopped in her tracks, Spike hadn’t lost his soul the test was longer than this she was sure but if Spike really was loosing his conscious would he be able to stop him self. She stood solid she had to believe in him otherwise she would be a liar after all the things she had said earlier on, he wouldn’t bite her and he if he tried she’d stake him.
“Silly girls not running away think Spikey will not gobble her up like the little girl” she was closer but still Cordelia didn’t move.
“Mmmmm I can smell how sweet you are she’s not a mortal Spikey she’s something special”
Then quick as a flash she was being pulled by some power stronger than her. She tried to fight it but it was useless she was being dragged away from Spike leaving him to fight the darkness by him self.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“ANGEL? What the hell are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing. Drusilla is a very dangerous vampire”
She crossed her arms “Angel Spike is in there fighting for his life I won’t let him do it alone”
His eyes softened and he cupped her cheek and momentarily she let herself be touched by him “Cordelia you yourself said we can’t help him this is his fight he has to do it alone”
Pushing him away more angry at herself for enjoying caress she snapped “Angel go away I’ll do as I please”
“Fine but that can start after Spike’s finished” his eyes met with hers and she could see that the finality in his words were mirrored in his eyes.
“Angel get out of my way”
“No”
“Why not?”
She punched his solid fist but he didn’t move “Because have you ever thought that this was the best for him?” he snarled at her.
“What?”
“Well what will happen if he looses his soul?” Angel said casually and Cordelia gaped at him.
“What will….. you know what will happen to him Angel? He’ll become..”
“A monster Cordelia he’ll become a monster”
“I know that”
Angel softened his gaze at her and took a step forward smiling at her softy grabbing hold of her hand firmly and placed a finger under her chin pushing it up so that she faced him “But that’s what he already is” he said softly a sinister smile working it’s way on his face.
She shook her head silent tears in her eyes as she further heard Spikes howls.
“No… no he isn’t, he’s like you”
He laughed softly and nuzzled her neck and when she tried to pull away he pulled her flush against him and then speaking into the crook of her neck he whispered “Exactly he’s like me a monster”
She shook tears fall down her face and she tried to conjure up her powers but nothing was happening “No Angel I know you you’re not a monster. Please Angel tell me what’s the matter”
He chuckled again and she felt the his cool tongue darting out and licking her neck ever so slightly, the feel of it making every one of her nerve endings shoot of into a hundred directions she sighed but then stiffened when she felt his lips on the point where his tongue had just been, he was sucking the point just like Darla had before she had bit her. But this was so soft and tender like he was talking to her through her skin and his cool lips a welcome gift against her oh so hot skin. Then she felt the ripples the growl echo against her body and his fangs slide themselves against her skin. He lifted his head forehead ridged and eyes amber fangs glinting in the moonlight “No Cordelia” he said as he grabbed her and slammed her against the wall “You have no clue as to who I am” he wiped the blood trickling from her forehead with his thumb and then put it into his mouth closing his eyes and groaning “But you will do” he said with a soft smile grabbing her by the neck and forcing a kiss on her.
Part 12: It’s all that we do that matters
Spike heard Cordelia scream but he was so far away from her and he was so hurt. He wanted to run away the open eyes of the little girl kept on looking at him. She was dead he had drained her dry. Drusilla didn’t even need to beg before he had grabbed her and tore right into her jugular.
It had felt good while the warm blood was running through him and he felt the little girl go defenceless against him, the warmth so wonderful after the cold, the power so great after loosing all control and the hunger finally fulfilled. He was full after such a long time he was full. He felt like a man once again and as he saw Drusilla dance merrily around him he felt like he belonged once again, not half man and half monster but just a vampire.
But as the body fell to the ground he had heard Cordelia scream and Drusilla promise that they would kill her too. For a few moments he had gained control told her to leave, but then he was left with harsh reality as his soul came flooding back he had killed, a young defenceless girl, she had never done anything to him. Now her dead pale blue eyes kept looking at him and he wished he could run, he had killed and he had done it with a soul.
He was a killer and Drusilla was there singing sweet songs in his ear telling him to come and play and his demon was whispering to him to go join her. The stench of blood filling the air calling to his hunger, and god he was so hungry, for human blood, for warm sweet human blood.
This was wrong another voice shouted you’re being tested. All of this wasn’t real.
But his demon laughed told him that even if it wasn’t he had still killed still destroyed an innocent’s life.
“SHUT UP. I DON’T WANT ANY OF IT”
And then the there was silence Dru was no longer singing in his ears and the body was gone. He stood up and ran to where he thought the fig ended but it didn’t it carried on and on, until he smelt her. The sweet, rich taste of her blood, he turned and there she was.
“Spike” she croaked out raising a hand towards him.
“Buffy” he ran to her, her naked body bleeding all over and she was crying silently “Help me Spike”
“Who did this to you?”
Her emerald eyes looked sadly into his “You did” she said and then cupped his cheek and gently kissed his lips “Finish me off Spike”
He shook his heads and wiped at his eyes where his tears fell “No I didn’t”
She sadly nodded her head getting up she walked towards him blood dripping from her neck and abdomen and then she rubbed her tummy “You wanted me Spike so you took me, that’s what vampire’s do”
“No” Spike said but she kept on walking towards him, her breasts swaying as she did and her eyes sparkling the sadness gone.
“Come with me Spike, you can have me all you want” she pushed her hair away and exposed her already wounded neck.
The smell of her blood hit him and made his demon cry with agony at his refusal to taste, taunted him, mocked him for the lesser being he was, griped at his gut like a steel claw ready to tip it out if he did not obey.
“No go away from me”
But she did not “Why Spike? Why did you take that little girl? What’s so different about her? Aren’t I good enough for you”
“NO… I love… I love you”
She laughed merrily “Love me? But you’re a vampire you don’t love me”
“I do”
She sauntered over to him her small frame towered by his own and as she ran a finger down his cheek a shiver ran down his body “Are you a weakling then?” she whispered with a satisfied smile.
“No I have a soul” she straddled his hips and giggled “And what does that do weakling?”
“It means I can love”
“But vampire’s don’t have souls silly”
The blood on her body was seeping through his clothes making him feel sicker than he had ever felt before, he pushed her way but she did not move “I have one”
“But what does that make you neither man nor vampire?”
Falling to his knees and looking at the blood on his hands he cried out “I don’t know”
Part 13: Not the only one being tested
Her head hurt and she felt sick but he didn’t let go of her “Angel you’re hurting me”
“Angel you’re hurting me” he mimicked “But this is what I am, I hurt people Cordelia get used to it”
She shook her head still refusing to believe it, and turned her head away from his face “No Cordy look at me, take a good look this is what I am a monster, this is why you can’t love me”
She stilled and suddenly a reality sicker than the circumstances came crashing down on her “Is that why…is this why. So you do love me?” her eyes pinned his and for the first time in the wild amber she could see her Angel the softness the love and the uncertainty.
He shook his head but he didn’t say anything but she didn’t believe him “It is isn’t it? You think that your not good enough for me in some twisted way” she snarled, tears forgotten, fear forgotten, this was not Angel going dark this was Angel being his usual dorky self but a damn sure annoying one.
“She made an attempt to slap him but she missed as he ducked still holding her other hand, “Get off me Angel or so help me god I will stake you”
He let go of her throat but he still held her hand “How dare you do this to me you son of a bitch? How dare you… you insult me like this?”
He ducked his head but she still stood one hand on her hip and the other fighting his, glowering at him, angry with him for doing this to her.
“I’m waiting ass wipe”
When he brought his head back up he was in his human face and his sombre eyes told her all the truth she needed to know.
“Angel I’m going to leave if I don’t get my answer”
“No don’t leave” he said quickly, worried reminding her of how very young Angel can be at times.
“I need you”
“Funny way of showing it” she snapped but her hatred for him was already breaking down becoming weaker and smaller by the second.
He shook his head and ran his free hand through his hair “Cordelia you wouldn’t understand”
A fresh wave of anger built throughout her body “Don’t patronise me Angel, I do understand, but I want to hear you admit what an ass you’ve been”
He looked at her bewildered, lonely and lost but the only support she offered was a quick squeeze of the hand she was holding.
“God did I hurt you? I hurt you I’m so sorry Cordy… I shouldn’t have…I didn’t mean to”
“I know you didn’t,” she said quietly trying to step away from him.
“Cordelia you are my everything, if I ever hurt you, I would die”
“You’re already dead,” she said flippantly.
He sighed a familiar act when they both had conversations, good it meant she was getting to him. “Cordelia I would stake myself if I lost you”
“But that was what you were going to do tonight anyway”
“I know which is why I came looking for you, why I tried to explain why I did what I did”
“By scaring me half to death?” she said disbelievingly.
If he could blush she was sure he would because he was pulling that sheepish look he was so prone to he coughed “I don’t know why I did that, I got carried away a little”
“Maybe it was the effects of the fog,” Cordelia mused out loud.
“Maybe but Cordelia there are times when I want to do those things to you, to the others.”
“I know,” she said simply but at seeing the disbelief in his eyes “Angel they showed me, up there everything you did, I felt it, what you felt, what the victims felt, well not all of it because that would have taken some time but when you were at your peak, they showed me everything”
“What” he gasped and let go of her hand and stepped back further but this time she took a step further and clutched onto his hand and didn’t let go “Angel they wanted me to know what I was going back to”
“Yeah” he spat “A monster. Why? Cordy. Why did you come back?”
“Because I’m in love with you…there I said it.. didn’t hurt that much either” she smiled ruefully at him “I fell in love with the champion who swoops in a saves the damsel in distress in uncanny Hollywood timing, I fell in love with the champion that messes up but isn’t afraid of trying again, I fell in love with the man who sits and broods because he thinks that’s the only way he can fight his demon, I fell in love with the man that trips over his own feet when you mention S-E-X even though he’s had more experience at it than any of us, I fell in love with the man that gave me and the others a mission worth fighting for and set the best example I could have ever had, I fell in love with the man that does all of that and never tires, is always there for us fighting his own demons and the worlds, but above all Angel I fell in love with the monster too that gave me this man”
“No” his shocked words came out “Don’t say that Cordelia you don’t know what your asking”
“I do Angel seen it remember”
He was completely buried in darkness and she could only see his outline but she was pretty sure he was looking at her “But…. I still don’t deserve you Cordelia”
“Why?” came her exasperated cry “Who’s to tell me what I can and can’t have? I know what I’m getting myself into, it’s not a matter of deserving Angel it’s a matter of love and if I choose to love you that’s my own free will, even the powers can’t stop me, so who the hell are you?”
“But Cordy. I can’t give you what other men can, sunshine, happiness, the world…I only have to offer the darkness, you weren’t made for the darkness Cordelia not you….it’s different with other but your so beautiful and delicate you deserve better”
“I deserve you because that’s what I choose, Angel where the hell have I been the last 4 years, waking up at your hours, going to sleep at your hours, hell eating in your hours, I’ve given up auditioning, I’ve given up everything that gets in the way of our mission for the last 2 years Angel the darkness is all I’ve been living but do you know what? As long as my family were with me I couldn’t have cared less. Because that’s what makes me, me my family Angel so don’t you dare condemn that”
“But what if you wake up one morning and realise you can do better than me and leave me Cordelia? What if something better comes along? Then how will I cope Cordelia?”
“What if I was hit by a ruddy great truck the minute I walked out of this alley?”
“Huh?”
“Angel they are all what ifs and really bad ones at that, I would never leave you, I have fears about us great big whopping fears, what if I send you on a vision and you never come back? What if I wake up one morning and you realise that Buffy was the only one for you? What if…” she was shushed by Angel’s cool finger and he came closer to her away from the darkness “You know that would never happen” he whispered.
“No I don’t Angel, until it happens all that matters is what we do not what we think we can do” she whispered back.
Silent tears fell down both their faces as they grabbed hold of each other’s hands.
“Can’t we” she hiccupped and tried again “Can’t we just face these fears together one day at a time believing each other, trusting each other that we won’t leave?”
He smiled and untangled one of his hands and wiped a tear away “You know whatever you say I don’t deserve you. You Cordelia Chase are my redemption in every form…. And I love you” he finished valiantly.
She giggled through her tears “Hold the press’s the dorks finally come out and said it”
He smiled and cupped her cheek “You know” he began with a hint of mischief I his voice “it wasn’t half as painful as I thought it would be”
He got a slap on the chest for that and a scowl “You know Angel I was going to save this till later but considering you’ve actually told me you love me at last so I figure even though you’ve be the biggest ass you’ve ever been in the last 24 hours you need something to cheer you up”
He only raised his eyebrows.
She gave him one of her first grins of the night and she said, “Well it’s regarding your soul”
Part 14: Making the choice
Spike opened his bruised eye was lost Buffy had vanished when he had beaten her in a fight, but he could sense her in the shadows waiting for him to weaken, but he held his resolve, he was a vampire with a soul and he didn’t kill now.
He kept on remembering what Lorne told him that Buffy loved him… That Buffy needed him. He held onto that as his only thread of hope. He was not alone he had someone waiting for him at home and he had a friend out there who believed in him. Who he remembered he had heard screaming she might even be in trouble, he had to get out of here, he had to help her.
Just as he managed to drag his injured body of the ground he heard two girls laughing behind him. He turned around and there was Buffy and Dru hand in hand singing and laughing.
Spike knew he was going no-where until he had passed the biggest test of his life, to kill his creator and to save his love. A battle between his soul and his demon in its very truest form.
He let out a war cry and then charged at Dru.
Part 15: Coming together
“So you knew this all the time?” Angel said giving her a curious look and stepping towards her.
She bit her lip and risked a smile “Uh huh but I had to make sure that you wanted me for me and not just for the sex”
He smiled a nice friendly one but she could see there was more to it than just a “friendly” smile he leaned in and place a soft sweet kiss on her lips but when she leaned in further he pulled away “Right that’s important that I’m not using for sex”
He placed another kiss on her chin a brief sweet kiss, with the minimum of contact but it was the not knowing the anticipation of how delicious a real kiss would be that made butterflies lift off in her tummy.
“Mmmm hmm I was only doing it for the best” she said and tried to entice him by fluttering her lashes at him slightly.
He chuckled and placed his hand on the small of her back effectively leading her wherever he went but something inside of shivered at his domineering attitude and she let him carry on “But you didn’t think that maybe if I had known it would have made things slightly easier for me?” Another kiss on the cheek as he brought his other hand down to her ass to cup it and give it a good squeeze she groaned completely in his thrall.
“So you do want me just for the sex?” she pouted and he paused for a while as if studying her lips with great interest.
He stepped forward and forced her step back leading her towards the wall “ I may “ he started as he leaned his head forward and she prepared for another delicious kiss “Have thought about it once in a while” he murmured into her neck before kissing it right where her skin thinned and her pulse point quickened.
“Mmmhmm so that’s all you want me for is it?” she said but in a trance waiting for him to touch her properly if such short sweet kisses were so delightful what would the real thing be like she couldn’t help wondering.
Another few footsteps and she was up against the cold wall but she didn’t mind it because Angel was too busy planting small delicate kisses all the way up her neck until he reached her ear and then he went to teasing her lobe with his tongue. She felt the working of his cool tongue on her hot skin and she her knees nearly gave way there and then.
She was broken out of her trance when his eyes moved to hers in a very slow and deliberate way, his onyx eyes pinning her down and looking into her own as if he was stealing her very deepest darkest, secrets away from her. She shivered feeling completely exposed. All her truths and knowledge laid naked to his mercy and then in the smallest of voices he whispered “No Cordy I need you for so much more than you could ever imagine”
She cried as he brought his lips towards her this time letting their lips come into full contact, devour each other tastes, and then they heard the cry.
The cry so feral and wild it sent shock waves throughout her entire body.
The pulled away and Angel looked towards the grey mist that worked its way in the alley in swirls of grey, black and white.
“Do you think he’s loosing?” Cordelia asked quietly.
“I don’t know”
“Angel if he looses we’re going to have to….”
“I’ll do it you go home, get some rest”
“No we don’t know for sure first”
“Is there any point in arguing with you?”
She smiled ruefully and shook her head “I can hold my own now Angel I’m a big girl”
His arms encompassed her body and brought it towards him he placed a small kiss on her head “I’ll be okay Cordy Spike’s stronger than you think”
She looked up from her wonderful position against Angel’s chest “Is that a hint of admiration I sense?”
“No” Angel covered up quickly “Besides some one very wise and very stubborn once told me that I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t give him a second chance”
Cordelia smiled “Very wise indeed”
They both looked towards the grey mist praying for Spike.
“Something’s happening Angel do you see it?”
“Yeah”
The grey mist was clearing and a vague outline of a figure crumpled against the floor could be seen.
“Stand back Cordy” Angel said but she just slapped away his hand and went with him “Angel he’s my friend”
“Yeah and don’t think we’re not going to talk about that later”
Cordelia managed to raise an eyebrow in her run “Oh yeah well I got plenty of bullets in my belt too”
He coughed “Let’s just get on with the matter in hand”
They ran towards Spike who lay bleeding against the floor but silent none the less.
“What happened?” Angel demanded.
“I killed her?”
Everyone went still and Cordelia got out her stake and then he carried on “I killed Dru”
The stake fell from her hands and she went running towards him.
“Oh Spike”
He shook his head and held up a hand for no one to come any closer “I don’t know why I’ve still got this bleeding soul though”
“But you killed her Spike” Cordelia said softly.
He laughed bitterly “I also killed an innocent a little girl for no reason but I was hungry”
Cordelia looked around “I don’t see any girl here Spike”
“She vanished”
“Well then it wasn’t real, it was a test remember Spike and ultimately you passed, I bet Dru is still walking out there somewhere, it was only make believe”
“You don’t understand, I still killed I did it with a soul.” He croaked hiding his face.
“But ultimately you conquered your evil Spike you chose what was important and you went with it” Angel spoke with a reverence and wisdom that nobody could debate it and as sire and childes eye’s locked there was an understanding there that nobody else could begin to understand.
Then Spike broke yelling “Oh god” and as Cordelia slowly made her way towards him and gently cradled his body he sobbed, for hours, in that same cold dark place he had won his soul.
Part 16: One big happy family….Really
Angel walked down the stairs and saw his girlfriend busy scolding Spike for smoking around the baby, said baby was snatching at stray pieces of her hair and sucking on it quite happily.
“Oh for crying out loud chit it won’t kill the devil spawn”
“Don’t call it that Spike” Angel said as he reached the last step.
Spike grinned, “Still can’t believe you got grand ma up the dough, I bet she was bloody pleased about that”
“Don’t swear around him either” Angel said ignoring the Darla comment and going towards Cordelia to kiss her a good morning.
“You know you guys make me sick, like THAT isn’t traumatising the baby”
“Actually it shows the baby that his mommy and daddy love each other and not scared to show emotions in public it’s quite healthy for the baby” Fred piped and then gave a worried look “Well that’s what the book says anyway”
Angel beamed and murmured “Mommy and daddy”
Cordelia beamed back and planted Angel with a kiss “You better believe it”
Angel smirked “You know Cordy Conner’s probably feeling real lonely I think we ought to give him a brother or sister”
“Angel sweety” Cordelia spoke to him like he was stupid “Conner was a miracle, there’s very little chance of it happening again”
Angel wasn’t dejected at all “Well I meant soon as possible, but before then we should get in as much practise as we can”
Spike groaned, “Judging by the way you two have been going at it I say you’ve already got inserting slot A into B covered”
“Well there’s plenty more we could practise at” Angel murmured and Cordelia slapped away at his wondering hands.
“As fascinating as your love life is could we please see if we could get a lead on Mrs Deret’s case she’s practically chewed my ear off listening o her complain about it” Wesley snapped.
“Dawg you need to get yourself some booty, look how much it eased up fang boy” Gunn pointed at Angel who gave him a glare in return.
“I told you it was sexual frustration,” Cordelia said knowingly but then the expression was wiped off her face and she whispered and “oh oh”
“Oh God vision someone take Conner” Angel let Fred grab Conner and held onto Cordy himself.
“What is it Cordy what did you see?”
Cordelia frowned “I knew the peace wouldn’t last, it’s big Angel we’re going to need everybody on this and perhaps some extra help… we don’t have much time either it’s tonight and it reminds me of that snake thing that Mayor Wilkins turned into”
Wesley came towards with paper and pencil and softly he smiled at her “Why don’t you draw it for me and I’ll get on to it straight away”
“So what sort of muscle do you want bro?” Gunn asked Wes.
Wes shrugged “Well we’re not exactly popular”
There was a coughing in the background and all their eyes landed on 4 very familiar people “I don’t know how much use a tired old slayer, a key, an ex-wicker and a Xander would be but we’re here”
The blonde smiled at everybody Fred was the first to speak, or rather squeal, “OH my god you’re the funny named girl who keeps on dieing and Angel was really upset about because I remember he went away when he found out about your death and didn’t come back for weeks, we had just come back from Pylea so I didn’t know anything about you being a slayer an’ all”
“FRED” the fang gang shouted.
She blushed “Sorry I’m just so excited”
“So” Cordy smiled “What are you doing here”
Buffy smiled back “An old school rival of mine phoned me up and told me that she was setting a new challenge for me, she had something of mine and if I wasn’t careful I was going to loose it forever and to her no less….. So I decided to come to LA get my thing back and give the bitch a lesson she’ll never forget”
Cordelia laughed, “Your all talk slayer come and take your best shot”
Buffy smiled back and then her eyes found what they were looking for she locked her emerald eyes with the pale blue ones and she smiled “I rather collect my thing and be out of here”
Spike shrugged and smiled “I don’t know slayer I’m a changed man I might not want you anymore”
Buffy walked up towards him confidant and brave “Spike if you don’t haul your sorry little ass back to Sunnydale on your own accord I’m going to stake it so good, it’ll make your test look like some walk in the park”
Spike smirked “Well when you put it like that slayer I’m game if you are”
Xander coughed and said “All together now AHHHHHH”
“Shut up wanker”
“Spike” Buffy admonished
“I’m kinda hungry” Dawn mused.
“Yes well some one can bring us some food but we really need to be getting on with the case at hand”
“I think we should use the blow torch”
“That’s not the man’s way of doing it. No we’ll just go there and beat the bloody crap out of it”
“What would you know blondie this is LA and here we rule”
“Listen pistol”
“Pistiol….. GUNN two n’s it’s… TWO n’s….PISTOL why the hell?….”
Angel smiled as Spike and Gunn came to near blows “You know” he said to Cordelia “I think Conner’s going to be just fine with us and his extended family”
“Extended family?”
“Yeah I think I’ve kind of bonded with Spike” he grimaced and said, “I never thought I’d say that”
Cordelia giggled and kissed him on the cheek “Do you know if I didn’t know any better I would say this was one of those times no-body would miss us” she said looking at the chaos in front of them.
Angel smirked “Why Miss Chase you aren’t implying we leave our fellow companions just for the sake of our own wild desires and passions”
Cordelia winked “I’m game if you are”
Angel pushed her towards the stairs “You know Miss Chase it’s moments like this I know exactly why I fell in love with you”
And with that they were gone leaving the chaos behind them.
End.