Title: Not Happy to See Me
Author: Enigma
Posted: 05-19-2002
Rating: PG13
Email:
Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was you'd be watching it, not reading it.
Spoilers: Well, it kind of takes place after Double or Nothing, though I haven't mentioned Connor yet, so I don't know if he's born, gone, whatever. I'll see how it goes.
Feedback: Pretty please!!!
Enjoyment: Lots and Lots!!
Notes: It's been a really long time since I've written anything and I've only written two other things before, so I'm sorry if it sucks!
Part 1
“Geez, could this take any longer?” Cordelia sat on top of a gravestone, kicking her heals against the cement. She twiddled with a stake in her hands. There was no answer to her question. Angel leant against a mausoleum across from where Cordy is sitting. He gave her a deadpan stare. Cordy shifted slightly, ignoring the look.
“Man, does this remind you of Sunnydale or what?”
Angel pushed himself off the mausoleum, rolling his eyes, “I know something that certainly does.” He turns his back to Cordelia and takes a few steps away.
“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Cordelia springs off the tombstone and walks toward Angel. Her grip on her stake has changed slightly. Angel turns towards her slowly sighing.
“Nothing”
“No, you certainly meant something.”
“Cordy!” Angel’s voice rose slightly. Cordelia jumped back a little, her eyes wide open. Angel lowered his voice and put a gentle hand to Cordelia’s shoulder, “It’s just that, if we’re going to get this vamp, we need to be a little quieter.”
Cordelia wanted to put up a fight, but the second he placed his hand on her shoulder he had her. The man (well…vampire) had the touch of ice, but it would shoot through her like a bolt of lightning, melting her from the inside. It was a touch that nobody else could, or would ever give her. She tried to except what Groo could give her. The possibility of a happy life, the long strolls in the daylight and the freedom that she wouldn’t have to constantly worry that he may experience that one moment of perfect happiness. But she couldn’t kid herself. That one touch on the shoulder drew more heat from her then two weeks away with Groo every did. To Cordelia’s surprise, Groo knew that too. He’d watched on as Cordelia looked out for Angel and of course how she looked at Angel when she looked out for him. It was Groo’s decision to leave one that Cordelia was glad he made. She was never very good at expressing her feelings, especially when they involved Angel. She was pretty sure that Angel held some feelings for her. She wanted so badly to confront him about it, but she wasn’t willing to jeopardize the close friendship that they held. She would prefer to live and sleep alone forever, then to loose their closeness and that touch.
“Ok, I’m sorry, I’ll be quieter” Cordy placed a smirk across her face as she whispered. “It’s just that this waiting around is so boring.”
Cordelia looked to her side and noticed that Angel’s hand was still on her shoulder. He quickly removed it. They stood in silence for a few moments.
“Well, you’ve done this a lot more then I have. What did you and Buffy used to do when you were on patrol?” Cordy suddenly realised with Angels' embarrassed look that they certainly didn’t talk. “Ohh… other then kissing!”
“Well…” Angel began to scratch his head, “Not much.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me, you spent all that time sucking face?” She crossed her arms and looked away slightly. In case she looked a little jealous.
“Well, before we um…before I um…at first-“
“Before you two bumped uglies and you became Angelus again?” She shifted her body weight slightly, Angel did the same.
“To put it bluntly-“
“As I always do.”
Angel smiled slightly, “That was all we did. Then after I came back, we did that again and well, just kind of sat there.”
“You did nothing else. Just kissed and sat. You didn’t talk, didn’t play charades? Nothing?”
“We talked sometimes and plus we trained. The second time around it just wasn’t the same. Things had happened, I had changed. Actually after I came back we didn’t really patrol together that often.”
“My god. So it was kissing, or it was nothing.”
Cordy had to hold back a chuckle. Here was a 240+ vampire, whose major relationship of his life was like a teenagers.
“At first…the first time around…” Angel was clearly uncomfortable.
“You mean before you were evil.”
“Yes Cordelia, before I was evil. Now would you let me finish.” He was getting quite agitated by this point. How could he love this woman so much, when she could get him so pissed off? And why did she want to know all this anyway? And how could he explain it properly? He had loved Buffy, but not how he loved Cordelia. What he felt for her was very different, very new. “I guess its, well can you remember your first high school boyfriend?”
“Geez Angel, you do remember what I was like at high school don’t you? I had quite a few.” She was growing impatient with him now. Why didn’t he want to tell her this and where the hell was the vampire?
“Not just any guy that you dated, the first guy you went out with for more then a week. They first guy you lov-“
“Xander Harris” Cordelia said this with half a smile of happiness and half a smile of embarrassment. Not because of Xander, but from remembering what their relationship was like with all the kissing. She understood what Angel was getting at.
“Xander Harris? He was your first long term boyfriend?” There was something about Xander that always got to Angel. Oh yeah…it was hate.
“Yes he was. Sure he was goofy and I was way out of his league, but God, he was a good kiss-“
“Ok I’ve heard enough.” Angel turned away from Cordelia and started to walk off. Cordelia followed him.
“What! I’ve got to sit through the life and times of Angel and Buffy, but you can’t hear me talk about Xander?!”
Angel flung around quickly, causing Cordelia to move back a few steps.
“Firstly, you asked about Buffy and I and secondly, Xander Harris! He was your first love?!”
“Oh I’m sorry Mr. The First Time I Fall In Love It’s When I’m 240 Odd Years Old and I Still Act Like A Teenager!”
Just as Cordelia finished the vampire jumped out behind her. Without even flinching and with minimal effort she staked the vampire in the chest. Angel looked on stunned and rather impressed. Without glimpsing at the dust cloud, she moved on towards Angel, her grip still tight on the stake. Angel took a few steps back.
“So what, you think that you’re better then me because your first love was slightly cooler then mine was? Sure mine shrieked if a monster attacked and yours kicked their ass, but at least I was actually in high school! You could fall in love with the oldest women on the universe and you’d still be a cradle snatcher!”
With that Cordelia turned on her heal and walked off.
“Cordy!”
“Leave me alone Angel!”
Cordelia continued of into the night, while Angel stayed behind stunned.
“What did I do?” he thought to himself.
***********
Cordelia was so mad. Who does he think he is?! At least I didn’t fall for someone who’s birthright meant my uncertain death! She looked up and noticed that she wasn’t sure where she was exactly. Damn him! Now I’m lost! She saw a mausoleum that looked familiar and walked towards it. She was about to take the corner when someone stepped out in front of her.
“Hello Love!”
Cordelia gasped a moved back slightly.
“Spike! What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to get something from Angel.”
Cordelia looked slightly confused.
“Well, he doesn’t have the Ring of Omara anymore, we destroyed it and before you ask, there are no cuff links or belts, I already asked.”
Spike moved in closer to Cordelia, sniffing at her neck.
“What are you doing?” She said whilst she pushed him away.
“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m a vampire!”
“Yeah, a vampire who can’t hurt people.” Spike stepped back a little confused. “Yeah Willow told me about the whole chip thing and that you can’t harm humans. Otherwise this stake in my hand…”
She held it up and moved it in a stabbing motion. Spike moved a little closer to Cordy, again smelling around her.
“Stop it!”
Spike turned his head slightly as a smirk moved across his face.
“You’re right I can’t hurt humans…”
Spike stepped back, then he suddenly smacked Cordelia across the head, causing her to fall to the ground.
“But you’re not entirely human now are you?”
Cordelia looked up at Spike with a pleading look on his face. He brought a foot back slowly…
“Sorry Luv.”
Part 2
Angel burst through the doors of the Hyperion. Fred was at the counter, chin leaning on her hand, listening to one of Lorne's infamous stories of Angel's singing. Fred quickly shushed him as she watched Angel move through the foyer. She gave Lorne a quick tap on the arm.
"Well hey Angel, how did the hunt go? Did you stake that vampire good?" Fred had a beaming smile on her face, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't sound so excited when talkin' of stakin' vampires with you being one and all. I wouldn't want you to think that I'd be all excited if you were staked, because I wouldn't be."
Angel didn't even acknowledge Fred's words. He stormed right through the foyer and straight up the stairs, never averting his eyes from before him. Lorne and Fred watched as he thumped his way up the stairs.
"Hello Fred, hello Lorne, how are you both this evening?" Lorne shook his head as he turned back to face Fred. "Well, I'm fine thank you Angel. Fred and I were having a lovely chat about your wonderful singing style and how it's almost as stuffy as you are. By the way, I think you have a bug up your butt the size of a rhino."
Fred giggled at that thought. Lorne gave her that mischievous look of his. Fred just shook her head and smiled at him.
"I guess they didn't get the vampire? Speaking of they, where is Cordelia?" Fred pushed her small body across the counter and looked at the door waiting for Cordy to enter. She looked back at Lorne and shrugged. "Maybe she was tired and went home?"
"Or maybe they had a klyplacton."
Lorne winked at Fred and started to walk upstairs. Fred giggled at Lorne's use of the Pylean word for lovers quarrel.
Slowly the world around Cordelia came into focus. She tried to take in her surroundings as her head pounded from Spike's blows. What she wouldn't have given for some horns earlier so she could of head butted him. She blinked slow but hard, trying to force her eyes to focus quicker. She moved her head slightly to both sides, feeling her arms against each cheek. She looked up to see them chained above her head. No wonder her wrists were throbbing so much. She could feel that they were bruising against the iron of her shackles. She looked down at her feet to see if they too were chained, they were. The room around her became much clearer. It appeared to be a cell of some kind. It was wall to wall cement but there was something familiar about it. It took Cordelia a few moments to realise what it was, the smell. Spike had her in the sewer.
"Well, well, it looks like Sleeping Beauty has finally risen. And I didn't even get to give you a kiss."
Spike slowly hovered towards Cordelia. She looked upon him, not with hate, but with frustration.
"Its been what.two years since I saw you last?" Cordelia refused to answer. "I have to say, that time has been good to you. Had you been in Sunnydale all this time, I don't think I would've had the need for this trip."
Spike's hands sat in his pockets as he thrust his pelvis forward and bit his bottom lip. He moved in closer to Cordelia, his face lingering millimeters in front of hers. Cordelia turned her head to the side. Spike nuzzled her neck then proceeded to lick the side of her face. Cordelia scrunched her face in disgust, but didn't make a sound. Using her cheek, she pushed Spikes face away, catching his gaze and giving him a sexy smirk. If vampires could blush, Spike just did. Cordelia nudged his face slightly and moved in closer to Spikes mouth, never taken her eyes of his. Spike turned his head slightly and began to close his eyes, moving in for the kiss. Cordelia quickly snapped her head back and crack it onto Spike forehead, causing the scar above his left eye to slice open and bleed. Spike stumbled backwards, placing a hand to his forehead and flicking the blood to the floor. He brought a hand to his side a smack Cordelia across the face. A small trickle of blood drew from her top lip. The smile on her face revealed a line of bloody teeth.
"Oh, you find that funny do you love?" Spike was still wiping blood from his wound.
"No Spike, I find you funny."
With that Spike laid a punch into her side. She winced in pain, but recovered quickly to look at Spike's annoyed, yet stunned face watching as she continued to laugh.
"Huh.the girl got some balls when she became a demon."
"PART demon thank you! And they came long before that." Cordelia took a deep breath and gathered herself. "I'll have you know that I have been the owner of the delightfully fun skull crushing visions for the past two years. Well, that was before I was body jacked on my birthday and told by the PTB that I wasn't supposed to have them and that I was going to die if I didn't give them up." Spike looked on with raised eyebrows and a blank stare as Cordelia took a breath. "But if I gave them up, then that meant giving Angel up, so I made them turn me into a demon. And I don't know why I'm telling you this."
Spike gave Cordelia a pitiful smirk, "You made the Powers That Be turn you into a demon, so you could continue working with Angel. Anyone would think you were in love with the guy-"
"So why are you here?" Cordelia brushed over the last comment as fast as she could. "What could possibly be worth the ass kicking and possible dusting you're going to receive at this end of all this?"
"I've come to take something from Angel-"
"Yeah, you've already said that." If Cordelia wasn't hanging from chains right now she would be tapping her foot with impatience.
Spike's frustration with Cordelia was growing higher by the second. He moved toward Cordelia and grabbed a tuft of hair above her left ear, drawing her closer to him. She winced as her moved his mouth to her ear, feeling the vampire's ice cold breath.
"I've come to take his soul."
He released Cordelia, pushing her against the wall she hung from. He looked into her shocked eyes. He turned and started to walk away.
"What? No more laughing?" Spike didn't look back. He picked up his leather duster and left the cell.
Cordelia hung motionless. A tear rolled down her face.
Part 3
"Wesley, can you take Connor downstairs?" You could almost see the steam emerging from Angel's neck. A vampire had never been so red before. With his fists clenched, he watched as Wesley rose from his chair and began to leave the room.
"Is everything O-"
"Fine!"
With that answer Wesley knew to leave as quickly as possible. He picked up Connor's bottle from the side table and exited the room. As he walked down the hallway he heard a loud thump come from Angel's room. He bounced Connor in his arms and thought it would be wiser not to look back.
"It's ok Connor, daddy has just had a bad day. He'll give you a big hug when he's calmed down a little." Wesley stopped in the middle of the hall and took in Connor's innocent face. "You have no idea what this world is like do you?" A small smile moved across Connor's face and what sounded like a giggle. Wesley moved to the end of the hall and began to head down the stairs. He looked down just in time to see Gunn enter the lobby and steal a kiss from Fred. One that Wesley would very much like to have stolen. "But at least you have a daddy who loves you."
A green hand moved across Connor's face and tickled his cheek. "How's my little star doing today? I've been teaching him all about Frank, he just loves his songs."
"Lorne I think he's a little young to understand what a tramp is."
"Oh Wesley my dear, they're never too young for Franky. Say how's Mr Boejangles doing up there?" Lorne began to laugh whilst Wesley raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I just got this picture of Angel tap dancing, woo!"
"Ah, well let's just say that I wouldn't be putting that idea forward at the moment."
Wesley turned and walked down into the lobby. Fred walked up to him with her arms open.
"Well hey, there's my gorgeous man!"
Wesley sighed and handed Connor over.
***********
Lorne braced himself at the door to Angel's room. He took in a long, deep breath and turned the doorknob. Angel was sitting on his bed clutching his hand which was bleeding. Lorne looked across the room to see a whole in the wall, just big enough to fit Angel's fist in.
"Oh Angel cakes, what did you do that for?" Lorne withdrew a hankerchief from his pocket and handed it to Angel. He pulled a chair across to the bed whilst Angel wrapped the cloth around his hand. "Did it make you feel better?"
"Actually it did for a moment there." He let out a sigh and shook his head. "Ahhh, how come she can get me so frustrated?"
"Ah, so you two did have a fight." Lorne lent forward and placed his arms on his knees.
"You couldn't even call it that. It was just.a disagreement." Angel pushed himself of the bed and moved across to the newly ventilated wall. He ran his fingers across the crumbling plaster.
"So like I said you had a fight. I've been around here long enough to know that you and Cordelia don't disagree. You may bicker, but then you fight."
"Whatever." Angel brushed the comment off, but he knew it was true.
"So what happened?"
"It was nothing." Just as Angel said that a large piece of plaster fell to the floor.
"Well if it was nothing I'd be pretty pissed if I was that wall right now."
Angel took a moment.
"It's just," Angel turned to face Lorne, "She brought up Buffy and started asking all these really weird questions and obviously didn't like my answers," Angel voice began to rise. "Then she started on about Xander and what a good kisser he was and this is really all her fault you know. If she could just have stayed quiet then there would have been no talking of kissing and first lov- Oh whatever!" Angel turned and faced the wall again.
"So this is ab-"
"I mean come on!" Angel flung around to face Lorne again. "Her first love was Xander!"
"Who's Xander?" Lorne had helped out a lot of demons, humans and other stranger things in his lifetime, but he was having trouble following Angel right now.
"He's this guy from Sunnydale, he went to high school with Buffy and Cordelia."
"So this is about Cordy's high school sweetheart?"
"He wasn't her sweetheart. They broke up after her and Oz caught him kissing Willow."
Lornes confusion was building, "Ok, I'm getting a whole lot of names thrown at me here that I know nothing about, but if this Xander guy wasn't her sweetheart then why is there now room for airconditioning in your wall?"
Angel walked over to Connor's crib and sat down. He began to swing it from side to side. Lorn watched him for a minute and his confusion haze was beginning to lift.
"Oh I get it. This has nothing to do with Xander or the others. This has to do with you, Cordelia and Buffy." Angel looked up at Lorne acknowledging that he was right. "You think that you're replacing Buffy with Cordelia." Lorne knew this wasn't the answer, but the truth needed to come from Angel.
"No, it's not that." Angel paused for a moment whilst Lorne looked on. "It's just that, if anything were to happen between Cordy and I, well, I would worry that she would think that I'm comparing her to Buffy. I mean, sure Buffy was the first girl I loved, but Cordelia, she's." Lorne moved closer to Angel and sat on the edge of his bed. "She's the first women I've ever loved. Loving her.it doesn't even compare to loving Buffy."
The two men sat in silence for a few minutes until Lorne spoke up.
"Well, you really are just a big softy aren't you?" Angel let out a short laugh as Lorne stood up and put a hand to his shoulder, "But you know you're telling this to the wrong person. Go downstairs and call her. Make up with her and move on from there."
"She didn't come back here?" Angel stood up from his chair. He and Lorne began to walk out of the room and head downstairs.
"No, we figured she must have gone home. Besides if she was back here, don't you think you too would have been throwing things at one another by now."
Angel laughed a little as they moved down the stairs. "You're probably right."
The two men, well demons, walked into the lobby where the others were sitting. Fred brought Connor over to Angel, who took him in his arms and started with his baby voice.
"Hey, there's my little guy. Lets say you come along with me and we give Cordy a call to see how she's doing. How's that sound hey?"
The others looked on smiling as Wesley spoke up.
"She's not home. I tried to call her earlier to ask her about the vampire you went after, but she didn't answer."
"Huh, she should be there by now. Well," Angel looked down at Connor and put on his baby voice again, "We'll just call her cellphone then."
Angel tickled Connor's chin as he walked into Wesley's office and made the phone call. The others talked quietly among themselves.
***********
Cordelia's phone rang in her jacket pocket across the cell. She flayed her arms around in an attempt to loosen her shackles. Blood began to trickle down from her wrists. She wrapped the chains around her hands and pulled herself into the air, swinging her body around, trying to break the chains free from the wall.
"Come on!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, "Come on!"
Her phone stopped ringing. She released her grip on the chains and he body flung back to it's previous position, her feet hardly scrapping the ground. Tears streamed down her face as she let herself go.
"Come on."
***********
Angel walked out of Wesley's office. "She didn't answer."
"Give it a while and call her back." Lorne gave Angel a reassuring nod.
"Yeah." Angel nestled Connor against his chest with a worried look on his face. "Yeah."
TBC