Title: The Petition
Author: Delylah
Posted: 04-14-2002
Email:
Rating: R
Category:
Content: Angst
Summary: Cordelia asks Angel for a favor.
Spoilers: Story includes spoilers for ATS up through and including Sleep Tight (eventually). If you haven't seen the eps and don't want to be spoiled, don't read any further.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: You want to archive it, just ask so I'll know where it's going and can visit it from time to time.
Notes: This is the only other C/A story I've written so far. Any feedback is appreciated (though if you're going to tell me it sucks, at least be kind enough to tell me why so I can fix it!). This is a work in progress.
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Thanks/Dedication:Part 1
"I have to what?"
"I said, you have to help me have sex."
Angel was startled at first. Hell, he was dumbstruck.
"H-h-help you…have…sex? Me? How? You know I can't…it would be…what about Angelus…"
"NO! I don't mean have sex WITH me. I want you to help me have sex…with Groo."
Angel snorted. "What, you want me to tell him about the birds and the bees? Insert tab A into slot B?"
"No, that would be how you and Buffy had sex. This would be tab G into slot C. And a lot more besides! But that's not what I mean either. We don't need your advice on how to have sex. I certainly know how and there's no way that a man who looks like he does," Cordelia paused to look across the lobby at the Groosilugg, sighing deeply as she continued, "could possibly NOT know how to have sex. I'm talking about the visions."
"What about them?"
"If we have sex, he gets my visions."
"Cordelia, I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"Remember Pylea?"
"How could I possibly forget it? Your Groosilugg tried to kill me." Angel reached into one of his desk drawers for a pen and began doodling on a notepad.
"That was his job. He thought you were a monster sent to defile me. He was my protector, my champion."
Angel gritted his teeth at the thought that Cordelia considered the Groosilug her champion. HE was her champion, dammit. She was HIS seer. The Powers that Be had brought them together; it was meant to be. He ignored her explanation and pressed for further information.
"What does he have to do with your visions?"
"Those freaky monks said we were supposed to, well, there was this mating ritual."
"What?? You, and he…mating? When? How? Don't answer that." Angel's stomach lurched at the thought that his Cordy had…with that Lug-head…that it might already be too late.
"We didn't. That's just it. After the mating, he would have received my visions."
"Why?"
"To help people, of course. Why else?"
To help a sect of ruthless, power-hungry, elitist pigs-posing-as-monks control the entire population of Pylea, maybe? Angel thought to himself. To Cordelia he said "You had the chance to give away these visions that have caused you nothing but agony for two years, that cause you blinding headaches and leave you physically ill for hours, sometimes days. Granted, having sex with the Groosilugg, I can see where that would tend to put you off the idea." Cordelia rolled her eyes as Angel continued. "But at most, it would have been what, a few minutes worth of inconvenience for a lifetime of carefree visionless splendor? You would have been free, Cordy. Most humans would have jumped at the chance. Why didn't you?"
"Angel, I couldn't give away my visions then anymore than I could have when Skip offered to take them away. I need them to help you help people."
"Cordy, we've talked about this before. It's not the visions I need. It's you."
"I know. But I need the visions Angel. They're important to me. I like being able to do something to help people, to fight the darkness. I can't fight like you and Gunn; I'm not a cesspool of demon trivia like Wesley, and I can't calculate Pi to the millionth decimal point in my head like Fred can. I have to fight my own way, and I need the visions to do that. They were meant for me. I can feel it." Cordelia rose from the chair she'd been sitting in and paced the floor.
"But somehow, I feel he was meant for me too. He's totally and completely devoted to me. He makes me feel like I'm a princess and he's my knight, my champion, even here in L.A. He loves me, and I think I love him too."
"What am I supposed to do about this, Cordy? I don't see how I could possibly help you." Besides, I'd rather take my chances on getting a suntan while lying on a splintery wooden lounge chair at the beachfront of an entire ocean of holy water than help you have sex with the Groosilugg, Angel thought.
"The Powers that Be. I want you to ask them how Groo and I can be together without me losing the visions."
"Cordy, the Oracles are gone."
"But the Conduit isn't." Angel looked at her sharply and Cordelia remembered she hadn't told him about witnessing his conversation with the Conduit. She crossed her fingers behind her back and continued, "Skip told me about it. You could petition them for me."
"But you could…"
"No, I couldn't Angel. I'm still part human, a lower being. I don't even think I could get into that place in one piece, even if the Conduit would listen to me once I got there. Please, Angel. I know I'm asking too much. But Groo may be the only chance I'll ever have to be in a happy relationship. He's part demon, I'm part demon. It's like we were made for each other."
Angel sighed, knowing he had never been able to deny his seer anything, even before she managed to get under his skin. If she wanted the Lugg- head, she would have him. Maybe he and Connor could take an extended vacation somewhere far, far away where he wouldn't be forced to see them together. Or hear them. He stood and stepped in front of her to cease her pacing. He could see the hope in her eyes as she looked up at him, pleading.
"Alright. I'll go to the Conduit."
"You will?" When Angel nodded she squealed and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him soundly on the cheek. Angel wrapped his arms around her waist, holding hugging her to him and savoring the moment as long as he could while she babbled in her gratitude. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you. I promise I'll never ask for another favor again. Well, excluding a day off whenever I need it. And a raise. Speaking of which, I'm long overdue for one, you know."
Angel set her down gently. "Don't push your luck." She smiled brightly at him, that million-watt smile that never failed to send a tingle to the base of his spine. He took her hand in his and squeezed lightly, kissing the back in a courtly gesture that once came naturally. The warmth of her skin reminded him of the smoothness of her belly under his hands and lips. For a moment he considered opening her fingers and pressing a kiss in the center of her palm in the intimate way only a lover should. He wondered if she would tremble with pleasure the way she had when she lay beneath him backstage at the ballet, or if she would slap him for taking the liberty, or simply brush the moment aside as she did so many of the almost-moments they'd had.
The moment passed like so many others, and he did nothing, said nothing when she kissed his cheek once more and whispered "You're my hero," before walking over to where the Groosilugg waited. Together, they walked out of the front doors of the lobby and into the sunlight.
Angel watched them until they were completely out of sight before returning to his desk. The yellow steno pad now bore a miniature penciled portrait of his seer. He gently ripped the sheet from the pad, folded it and placed it in the back of one of the desk drawers with the rest as he whispered "I always will be."
Part 2
Angel sat in the darkness, listening to Connor's infrequent sighs and the rustling noises he made when he shifted in his crib. The baby was restless tonight. Even though he'd been sleeping for six-hour stretches for a couple of months now, tonight he had already woken three times since Angel had put him to bed at nine. It was now only midnight. He inhaled Connor's warm baby-scent and tried to focus on anything but the voice in his head.
It wasn't working.
"Hey, you. Soul-boy. I know you can hear me, no matter how hard you try not to listen, try to pretend that I'm gone and the only thing left inside this cold, dead carcass is you."
"Shut up."
"We both know better, don't we?"
"I…said…shut…up."
"Me, I'm just biding my time. It will happen, eventually. You know it, and I know it. You're weak. You've always been weak. That's why Darla picked you in the first place. If you had been a stronger man, you would long be dead in your grave."
Angel didn't argue. For one, he had always felt that arguing with oneself was a sure sign of insanity, and he wasn't quite ready to admit his hold on his own mind was that tenuous. For two, the bastard had a point. Regardless, the voice continued without encouragement, for he'd never needed any in the first place.
"So, she asked you to help her scratch her itch, did she? Is the bitch blind as well as stupid? I can smell how she reacts to you the second you walk into a room. I know you can smell it too, and I can feel the way your cock jumps. I'm surprised she can't see it. Then again, you always liked them dumb. I always wondered if that Slayer you were jonesin' for even knew how to spell Scourge."
Angel remained silent, staring at the crib, out the window, anywhere. He would not debate the merits of Buffy's intelligence with Angelus. And he would NOT discuss Cordelia with him at all.
"You remember that night, with the actress? She was something else, wasn't she? Another of your brainless bimbos. Mmm, she was hot. I was just itching to suck her dry, if you know what I mean. And I may have even let her live long enough to return the favor." Laughter resounded somewhere, in the corners of the room, in the recesses of Angel's head. "Too bad Wesley and Cordelia showed up when they did. Then again, that girl couldn't hold a candle to Cordelia, could she? Wanna know a secret, Angel- baby?" The voice hissed at him, whispering now. "That night…when I chased her up the stairs to the office? I could smell her then too. She wasn't sure if she wanted to stake me or fuck me. If it weren't for Wesley and the dart gun…" Angel felt his fingers burning and realized he was clenching the wooden arms of the rocking chair hard enough to send splinters into his flesh.
"You know, I bet she wakes up at night, remembering. I know YOU wake up remembering. I know how you lie there in your cold bed, jerking yourself off and telling yourself it's Buffy you're thinking of even when it's Cordelia's face you see, her scent you can't get away from. I'll bet at the same time she's there across town, snuggled under the covers in the dark, sliding her hands into her panties and fingering herself into oblivion remembering how I almost had her. Every time you walk into a room, for just one instant, she's remembering it, wondering if this time it's me instead of you. You know she wonders, you see it in her eyes every time, that little bit of fear mixed with that little bit of excitement, and you know it's because of me."
Angel left the rocking chair and strode over to the double doors leading to the balcony. Once outside he breathed deeply, hoping the smog would banish the scent of Cordelia from his nostrils, hoping the traffic below would drown out the insidious voice in his head that was always there, day and night, stronger every day. Some days he wasn't sure where Angelus stopped and he began, and on those days he was miserable and, at the same time, manic.
"I'll give you credit for one thing…you may like them dumb, but you do have good taste. That Slayer's blood…it was almost like liquid joy on your tongue, wasn't it? And we both know I'm not talking about dish soap. You felt me then, I know you did. You do like to live life on the edge. Another second, just one…she would have been mine for the taking and all you could have done was watch. And you wanted it. I know you did. Just like you want Cordy." Angel could hear Angelus laughing again, pleased with this revelation that there was nothing that Angel could keep from him. "Her blood may not pack quite the punch that the Slayer's did, but if she tastes anywhere near as good as she smells, I bet you'd get so happy your brains would bleed out of your ears and that gypsy curse would be a moot point."
"At least then you wouldn't have her."
"But I would. Don't you get it yet, you domesticated, defanged, dickless excuse for a vampire? If you have her, I have her. It's that simple. The only way to keep me from her is to never have her yourself. And I'm betting you're not that strong, Liam, me boy. Not once she realizes her substitute just won't do. Look at the way she dressed that stupid prick. Or didn't you notice?"
"I noticed."
"Wearing those clothes, and with that stupid hair she can just close her eyes, run her hands over his body and fuck his brains out while she's screaming your name, or better yet, screaming mine. But one day she'll get tired of him. Dim as she is, she's at least 150 watts where he's 40, tops. He won't hold her interest for long. And where do you think she'll look then?"
Angel shuddered. He both yearned for and dreaded the day Cordelia looked at him - really looked at him and saw the desire in his eyes, desire that was mirrored in hers. He was afraid Angelus was right, afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself from drawing her to him, pressing her body against his and driving into her until the line between himself and Angelus simply vanished and he drained her to the last drop. Just thinking of it made him tremble in fear and delight.
"You won't stand a chance, Angel-baby. And neither will she."
"I'd stake myself first," Angel said to the demon within.
"Would you, now? Is that why you're thinking about Wesley's 'paranormal prophylactic' theory, because you'd rather stake yourself than fuck her? You're thinking that maybe somewhere there's a loophole, that instead of asking the Powers that Be how Cordy can com-shuck the Groosilugg without losing her visions, you'll ask them how you can com-shuck Cordy without losing your soul. By all means, ask them. You won't like the answer. And I'll still be waiting."
Angelus was finally silent as Connor woke and hungrily began to wail.
Part 3
"Angel?"
Angel looked up groggily at the shapely form before him. After a moment or two, Cordelia's face came into focus and the fog in his head began to clear. He yawned and looked around the lobby of the Hyperion blearily.
"Uhm. Cordelia. What time is it?" Cradling the soft bundle that was Connor to his chest, Angel maneuvered into a seated position slowly so as not to disturb his sleeping son.
"It's almost five in the morning. What are you doing down here? Is Connor ok?"
Angel looked down at Connor, still sleeping peacefully in his arms.
"Yeah, he's ok. Somebody didn't want to sleep and apparently didn't want anyone else to sleep, either. I brought him down here so we wouldn't wake Fred. We walked, we sang, we walked some more. I finally sat down to give my feet a rest and I guess we both must have dropped off." Cordelia smiled warmly as he finished and leaned in to press a kiss against Connor's forehead.
"Why don't I take him back upstairs for you? You look like you could use a little liquid refreshment."
"No, Cordy, you might wake him and then I'll never get him back to sleep…"
"Oh, hush, Angel. He's sound asleep; he'll be fine. If he wakes up, I'll rock him. Besides, Connor is always Cordy's little angel, aren't you, sweetpea?" she cooed at the baby in a whisper as she gently removed him from Angel's arms. Connor's eyelids fluttered open for a moment. Angel watched him focus on Cordelia's face inches away, then break into a small, contented smile before closing his eyes once more. Cordelia glanced at Angel as if to say "I told you so" before cradling the baby to her in a protective embrace. She headed towards the wide staircase and began to ascend carefully. Angel could still hear her whispering to the child as she made her way up the stairs and then disappeared around a corner. "There now, Mama's got you, baby. We're going to be just fine, aren't we?"
Angel felt as if she had reached into his chest cavity, grasped his heart in her little fist and squeezed. He debated following her, partly because he was concerned that Connor would wake up once she returned him to his crib, but mostly just because he loved to watch Cordelia with Connor. Her face took on a softness when she held him that was rarely apparent at any other time. Cordelia hated to be thought of as soft, Angel knew. He also knew the hard-as-nails ice queen persona she favored was mostly a façade she had constructed long ago as a defense mechanism, much the way a turtle's hard shell protected the vulnerable creature housed inside.
Angel smirked to himself at the thought of comparing Cordy to a turtle and wondered how he could work it into a conversation sometime. He had recently discovered that teasing Cordelia could be an amusing pastime. Oddly enough, she didn't seem to mind most of the time, but he relished those rare moments when he got the better of her and left her stammering and flustered, the way she had so often left him. Still smiling, he followed the path she had taken to the suite he and Connor called home. He found her curled up in the large rocking chair, humming softly to his son. Angel peeked over her shoulder to see if Connor was still sleeping. He was.
"I thought you were going to put him to bed?"
"And I thought you were going to grab a couple of pints from the 'fridge?" she retorted softly.
"I, um, I wasn't really hungry," Angel replied, hoping she couldn’t hear his stomach growling.
"Yeah, well, I just wanted to hold him for a while. Got a problem with it?"
"Of course not," Angel answered her softly. Cordelia sighed and leaned back into the chair
"I'm sorry. I've just been really tense lately. It feels like everyone around here has been really tense ever since..."
"The ballet?"
"Yeah. Fred and Gunn are tiptoeing around Wesley. Wesley is hurt and angry but doesn't want Fred and Gunn to feel sorry for him. I think Lorne is sulking because we asked him to babysit instead of inviting him to go with us. And you and I..." Cordelia trailed off, blushing slightly and shifting her gaze to a spot somewhere above Angel's shoulder. Finally she continued, "It's just weird, that's all."
"Why?"
"Uh, well, gee, it just does wonders for your working relationship when your boss has seen you naked."
Angel grinned. "Hey, when did Wesley see you naked?"
"Oh, didn't I tell you? The prima ballerina decided she'd put on a special show just for Count Kurskov as a kind of bon voyage gift, so I gave Wesley a lap dance while you were bringing the car around."
Angel frowned. "Really?"
"No, not really. Angel...you know what I mean."
Angel knelt before her and placed one of his hands over hers. "Just think. One of these days when you're rich and famous, I'll be able to say that your first official nude scene was with me, backstage at the ballet."
Cordelia looked at him incredulously then burst out laughing.
"You know, I didn't think of it that way. I guess you've got a point."
"Everything will be alright. I think things are getting back to normal around here, even if it doesn't seem like it."
"Normal. That's great. Normal for us is demons coming out of every nook and cranny and fending off the persistent attempts by Wolfram and Hart to drive us out of the hotel."
"Have to earn a living somehow. Got college to save for, remember?"
"I remember."
"Hey, you never told me why you're here at 5 am."
Cordelia looked troubled again. She rose from the rocking chair and placed Connor back into his crib. She walked back over to where Angel was now seated and stood in front of him.
"I had a vision."
"What about? And why did you wait so long to tell me?"
"Because it hasn't happened yet. It was about me." Cordelia looked distracted and unfocused. Angel led her by the arm to the bed where she sat cross-legged. Angel took the chair next to the bed and took her hand in his.
"What happened?"
"I think I...I think...I was in Pylea."
"And?"
"I was pregnant."
Angel sat in silence, stunned. Cordelia shivered slightly and seemed to overcome her shock. The words came pouring forth, one tumbling after the other in a torrent.
"It was Pylea, I'm sure of it. Groo was there, and so was I. We were in the throne room, and there were two thrones. He sat in the larger one and I sat in the smaller one. At least they put me in decent clothing this time. Of course I guess in Pylea it's probably unseemly for a pregnant cow - don't say a word, Angel - to walk around in public wearing nothing but harem pants and a bikini top. Even if I did look great in it. I did, didn't I?"
"What?"
"Look great. In the gold princess bikini. Better than Carrie Fisher, right?"
"Cordelia, what are you talking about?"
"Let me guess. You've never seen Star Wars."
"Of course I've seen Star Wars. What does that have to do with...oh."
"Well, didn't I?"
"Cordy…"
"Geez. Fishing for compliments around you is obviously a complete waste of effort." Angel sighed and looked at her pointedly. Cordelia continued with her story. "So anyway, have you ever seen Beastmaster?"
"Cordelia will you forget about the damn movies? Yes you looked better than Princess Leia in the gold bikini and better than Tanya Roberts in the skimpy leather jerkin. You looked even better back stage at the ballet wearing nothing at all. Now tell me what happened in Pylea!"
"Who is Tanya Roberts? Oh, you mean the redhead. I wasn't talking about her, Angel. I'm talking about Dar's mother."
"What about her?"
"At the beginning of the movie some freaky witch thing performs some ritual and removes unborn baby Dar from his mother's womb and there is this whole ick factor that makes me shudder to remember. The point is, I saw that in my vision. Or something like it."
"You had a vision about Beastmaster?"
"NO! Would you listen to me? I was pregnant. This freaky monk person came in and performed some ritual on me and suddenly I wasn't pregnant anymore. This demon chick was. They were going to let her have my baby."
"Where was Groo?"
"Holding the bag of blood they scattered around on the bed while they were performing the ritual."
Angel stopped, taken aback. He had meant to ask where was Groo when Cordelia had the vision. Now he wanted to know where was Groo so he could kill him.
"Yeah, gave me the wiggins. I had to get out of there; I just couldn't face him. So I came over here. Figured I could at least give Connor a squeeze even if you weren't around."
"What are you going to do?"
"Well, not too keen on the whole com-shuk idea at the moment."
"You want me to go tell him to beat it back to Pylea?"
"Not yet. I have to get to the bottom of this."
"So, I take it the paranormal prophylactic is out of the question?"
"Yeah. But I still want you to go to the conduit."
"Why?"
"I want to find out if Groo is the only person that can inherit my visions. I may want to com-shuk someone else sometime, y'know?"
No, he didn't know. He didn't even want to think about it. Thinking about it last time resulted in several holes in the walls of his suite that he had been hard pressed to find the supplies to fix without anyone noticing. He flashed back to the…conversation he'd had with Angelus earlier. It bothered him that he heard Angelus's voice in his head almost all the time now. It bothered him even more that more often than not, the horrible things Angelus whispered to him in the dark were true. He DID want Cordelia for himself. He had pictured himself driving into her over and over until she screamed with pleasure, and perhaps even with a little pain. The thought of anyone, anyone at all touching his Cordelia...HIS...made him want to break things, or maybe even people. He growled and muttered something he thought would be beyond her hearing.
Cordelia froze and stared up at him. "What did you say?"
"What? Nothing. I didn't say anything."
"Yes, you did Angel. I heard you."
"No, I didn't."
"Angel."
Cordelia had pulled her hand away from his and folded her arms across her chest. He sighed inwardly. He hated it when she did that. No one else could manage to make him feel like a cockroach skittering across the floor the way she could.
"I said, 'We all remember how well it went the last time you com-shuked someone.'"
"Yeah, well, look who's talking buddy. At least I didn't risk losing my soul AND manage to get the most evil, conniving, skanky bitch of a vampire in the world knocked up the last time I com-shukked someone. I'm afraid YOU can't say the same."
"No, you simply managed to get knocked up yourself with demon spawn. Twice."
"Hey! The third eye doesn't count! I didn't com-shuk anyone that time. I don't think you can call having demon spawn asexually inserted into the back of your skull being knocked up. And hello, can you say 'get a happy, go on a murdering rampage??'"
Angel stared at her for a moment, then burst out laughing. After a moment, she joined him, giggling softly at first, then harder as the absurdity of the conversation struck her. They laughed together for what seemed like ages, until their sides ached and they were both breathless. Cordy lay face down on the bed, stifling her giggles into a pillow while Angel had slouched down in the chair, feet propped on the bed and holding his sides to keep from laughing anymore. Cordy turned her head and peered at him with one eye, the other hidden by the pillow.
"Our love lives suck," she complained, sobering.
"They do. They really do."
"Think they'll ever get better? Wesley and I talked about this once. He thinks maybe we were all just meant to be alone. Do you think that too?"
"I used to."
"What happened to change your mind?"
"I found you."
Cordelia said nothing. She didn't think she would be able to force any words past the lump that had formed in her throat, even if she could find the right words to say. There didn't seem to be any. She felt as if they were teetering on the proverbial precipice, and that anything she said could tip them one way or the other. She knew she wasn't ready to take the leap forward; and they'd climbed so far to reach this point she couldn't turn back either. Angel cleared his throat and continued, restoring the balance between them for a while longer.
"And Connor. And Wesley. All of you…we're family. You said it yourself. As long as we have each other, we'll never be alone." He leaned towards the bed and reached his hand out for Cordelia's once more. She took it, lacing her fingers through his. When she smiled at him, his world tilted crazily for a moment, a moment she didn't brush aside, sweep under the rug, or otherwise shy away from. It was a moment he would savor until the next one came along, soon - surely it would be soon now - a moment that would remain unspoiled...
"Princess? Are you here?"
Angel groaned inwardly and turned to see his doppelganger standing in the open doorway of his suite.
Continue on...