Title: All that Matters
Author: Delylah
Posted: 07-29-2003
Email:
Rating: PG
Category: Angst/Romance/Drama
Content:
Summary: Lilah confronts Angel with a choice. There's nothing really new here…it's just my take on the conversation between Lilah and Angel concerning the fate of Cordelia and Connor. I may tie this into another story I'm currently stuck on.
Spoilers: Season 4, "Home"
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Ask first please…I'll probably say yes.
Notes:
Feedback:
Thanks/Dedication: Always appreciated, of course. I could use a good beta reader too

---

"People like you— this place— that’s what’s wrong with the world, Lilah. I will never be a part of this. Not the way you’re hoping. Now let me tell you what the deal’s going to be…

Lilah listened quietly with a hint of a smile as Angel outlined his "demands." When he finished, she held his gaze, but said nothing.

"Well?"

"You don't want much, do you?"

"Not really, no."

"Do you know what you're asking?"

"You know people who can make it happen. The Senior Partners…"

"Are powerful. I'll give you that, but they're not omnipotent. If they were, you wouldn't be here."

"Point taken."

Lilah walked over to the window and peered out at the city before her. "I really do miss this view. No windows in my office now you know. Nothing to see but bodies writhing in pain. Not I mind, but it gets old eventually."

"Lilah…" Angel growled.

She turned from the window and faced him once more. "You have a choice to make, Angel."

"What choice?"

"Connor…or Cordelia. You can save one of them, but not both."

"That's not…you can't ask me…I can't make that choice."

"You have to. Or they both die."

Angel laughed. "Isn't that dilemma a bit stale?"

"Might be, but I don't make the rules. Remember, I'm just the messenger."

"I need more information."

"It's simple. You can change Connor's life, or Cordelia's. Cordelia can return from the coma and you two can ride off into the sunset together. Connor will still self destruct. And from the looks of things, he'll take a lot of people with him. Or, Connor gets a brand new life. A do-over, if you will. He'll live in the suburbs with two loving parents, have the best education money can buy and a truly bright future. He won't remember anything or anyone in this life, including you."

"And Cordelia?"

"That's up to you. She can either slip away peacefully, or remain as she is. A vegetable. Personally, I would prefer death if it were me."

"Cordelia isn't you."

"We're not so different, you know."

"Lilah…you and Cordelia are worlds apart."

"I'm sure it pleases you to think so. Anyway...back to the matter at hand."

"How much time do I have to decide?"

"None." Lilah pointed to the video screen. "He won't last much longer. If you don't intervene now, they both die."

Angel watched the two faces most beloved to him, one serene, one tense and miserable, on the screen before him. He walked over to it and reached out a hand as if to touch them both. "Ah, Cordy…forgive me."

He turned to face Lilah, whose expression was one of ill-concealed surprise. "Tell me how this is going to work. I just want to get it over with."

Lilah walked over to the desk that would be Angel's and removed a dagger from one of the drawers. "Ever read much of the bible, Angel?"

"Every page."

"Really? My, you are just full of surprises, aren't you. I'm guessing you're familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac, then?"

"What does that have to do…with….no. Absolutely not."

"It's the only way."

"You want me to kill my son?"

"To save him? Yes. Requests of this nature always require a sacrifice."

"But what about Cordelia? I thought…"

"You're not truly sacrificing her, are you? Blood, Angel. You know that. It's always got to be blood. Besides, it isn't like he'll be truly dead. Unless you screw up. So…don't screw up, Angel."

"Why should I believe you? How do I know that this isn't yet another scheme to get me to murder my own son and fulfill some god-damned prophecy?"

"You don't know. Remember? Abraham and Isaac. It wasn't just the sacrifice that was important"

"It was the leap of faith."

"That's right."

"Abraham put his faith in God. You're asking me to put my faith in my worst enemy."

"What makes you think they're not one and the same?"

Angel laughed. "It would explain a lot."

Lilah gave him a brief half-smile that almost immediately dimmed. "And now…Cordelia. It would be kinder to -"

"No. I can't do that. I just…I can't."

"Angel, she's never coming back from the coma. Don't leave her like this for some foolish hope that someday she'll wake up."

"All I have anymore is hope, Lilah. You can't take that away from me too."

Lilah looked at him with what almost appeared to be pity. "Okay, then. You're the boss. I'll make the arrangements for her care. You can afford the best now."

"See that she gets it."

"I will." She walked over to stand before Angel and held the knife out to him.

He took it from her without another word.

End.