Title: Relations and Revelations
Author: Danyeal
Posted: 02-13-2003
Rating: NC-17
Email:
Content:
Summary: A C\A romance piece.
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes:
Feedback:Part 5: Pillow Talk
Angel:
I don't remember exactly how the subject was brought up, but now we were talking about former lovers and my side of the bed was feeling a bit heavy.
"So tell me Angel," Cordelia prodded.
"Tell you what?" I avoided the question.
"About your past lovers," She said, her fingers rubbing maddening circle around my nipple.
"Why do you want to know?" I asked, frustrated.
"I''m curious," she sighed.
"You know what they said about the cat," I warned.
"I'm no cat," she pouted I looked at my scratched up shoulders. I looked back at her with an arched eyebrow, she blushed.
"Okay you want to know about my past lovers," I began and sighed. "Well, there's not many because of the curse. There was a tavern wench or two when I was human, then came Darla and Dru, and then Buffy." I sighed.
"Are you forgetting someone?" She grinned. Oh so *this* is what this was all about.
"I'm not gay," I said.
"Oh I know that," She kissed me. I smiled and I thought she let the matter drop, but I should have known better. "So tell me about you and Spike."
"Why do you want to know about that?" I practically yelled. I mean hello I'm uncomfortable here...or maybe that was her plan.
"I just want to know," she kissed that sensitive part of my neck. You know the spot right below your ear. I grinned, she wanted to play. Oh, I'll play.
"Why?" I asked and then added, "Does the thought of two men having sex turn you on?"
She looked taken aback for a moment, and I did a silent cheer in my mind. "What if it does?" she answered and I swallowed.
"Then I guess I should tell you," I said. Both our voices had grown deep with lust.
"When was the last time you two had sex?" She asked straddling me.
Oh God, I thought. "Sunnydale."
"Oh really, and were you Angelus or Angel," she said rocking her hips back and forth over my growing length. How am I supposed to concentrate?
"I was Angelus," I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes.
She kissed down my chest and abs, pausing to lick my belly button. I sighed. This was nice. Not nice enough to divulge my shame, but nice. She took my length in her hand and began to pump slowly up and down. Okay it's getting better shame divulging is becoming clearer more plausible to tell. I'm not making any sense at all, am I?
She kissed the very tip of me and asked, "What was it like? Your last time with Spike?"
"It was..." I groaned as she began sucking. "I-It w-was sex."
"Did you like it?" She grinned evilly. "Did he make you come?"
"Yes and Yes," I said, sitting up.
***
Cordy:
I caught myself before I was launch off the bed by Angel's abrupt movement. Just when we were getting somewhere he clams up.
"What's wrong?" I whined.
"I-I-I'm just n-not comfortable t-talking about w-what I did with Spike," he said.
"Fine," I said, stretching out on my side of the bed.
"Now you're mad," he put his hand on my bare thigh and I glared at him. "Why don't you ask me about Dru or Darla or Buffy?"
"Well, number one, I think I've heard enough of Dru and Darla and Buffy to last me a lifetime. And number two, they're competition. Number three, you know everything about me. This is the one thing I don't know about you and you don't trust me enough to tell me." I don't know why I was making such a big deal about this, but I hate when he holds out on me.
"I'm embarrassed about Angelus's relationship with Spike. It was crazy. He was crazy. Angelus thought the only way to get him to calm down was to...So they became lovers." Angel sighed.
"Did you love him?" I asked.
"Vampires don't love, I didn't have a soul then," He said.
I couldn't help myself, I grinned, "Did you dominate him?" Angel squirmed.
"Of course, I was the strongest," he sighed. I swear if he had blood recently he'd be blushing. "And that's all I'm telling you, young lady."
"Okay, Okay," I sighed.
"What about you?" Angel asked.
"What about me?" I said.
"Did you have any weird sexual experiences?" Angel grinned and I laughed.
"Yeah, about 45 minutes ago I had the most mind blowing sex I've ever had with the undead. Is that weird enough for you?"
Angel shook his head and kissed my lips, "You know, nobody likes a smart ass!"
Part 6: Vision Creatures
(In memory of Glenn Quinn)
Cordy:
When I got the phone call from Buffy to come to Sunnydale for the weekend to teach Dawn some cheerleading moves, I was more than shocked. You know, I wasn't going to accept at first. I'm vision girl now not some dizzy cheerleader!(Not to mention I was having a very lovely time teaching and learning some moves horizontally, with Angel, the last couple of months, if you know what I mean?), but Buffy made it sound like a life or death situation for Dawn. So, I went and boy, Buffy was right. It was a life or death situation. Never in my entire life have I seen such bad coordination. Both Dawn and her friends were terrible.
"I should get paid for this," I mumbled to Buffy. She just grinned and made her way back into the kitchen.
By Sunday night, Dawn and her friends were dancing like pros. I even taught them some of my trade secrets. The Scoobies, including Giles, were watching Dawn and her friend dance their cheerleading routine when I slipped upstairs. Angel was due to arrive any minute to take me home, so I had to take a quick shower. I just had to smell good for my man.
I was getting a good lather going when something caught the corner of my eye. I looked around and then shook my head. Great, now I was beginning to be afraid of my own shadow. I rinsed off and stepped out of the shower. That's when the room changed. The small bathroom was gone replaced by a long hallway. I looked around nervously when a large shadow beast appeared. It was huge, and black with big claws and red eyes. I ran down the long hallway. The shadow beast took a swipe at me and caught my back. I screamed as I felt the spray of warm blood run down my damp back. I slipped and fell, the beast came closer and closer. That's when two cold hands grabbed my shoulders.
"Cordelia?" Angel said, his hands stroked my face and forced me to look at him. I looked around, instead. I was outside of the bathroom door in just a towel screaming like a banshee with Angel, Buffy, and the Scoobies looking at me like I had just grown two heads.
"Was it a vision?" Angel asked me after I had put on my clothes and regained some dignity.
"It was like a dream, or something," I leaned back against the sofa and hissed. Then I remembered, "I was in this long hallway and there was this shadow hell beast chasing me and it scratched me." I said, pulling down my tube shirt to show him my back. The rest of The Scoobies gasped. "Is it bad?" I asked.
"It's not good. There's some kind of blue discoloration "Giles said.
Wonderful!
***
Angel:
Great!
I don't understand how a simple trip back to Sunnydale results Cordelia being chased by some kind of shadow beast in a vision-slash-dream-slash -whatever. Why am I not surprised? I had a bad feeling about all of this when she told me she was going. I mean, this trip had a huge potential to go straight to Hell, from the beginning. And I still hadn't told Buffy about us. Now she was going to find out the wrong way. I rolled my eyes, why me?
Meanwhile, my girlfriend, love of my life, had glowing blue ooze seeping out of wounds that should have been impossible to get since she was having a dream while she got it. Is it possible for vampire to get searing migraines? I rubbed my temples.
"Is it poison?" I asked Giles, catching Xander's hand from poking it. He's such a stupid ass.
"I haven't the faintest idea. How do you feel?" Giles asked Cordelia.
"I feel fine. My back is sore," She said. I squeezed her shoulders and she sighed. She took my hand and turned around to me and said, "This sucks."
"Yeah, but we'll get through this like everything else," I promised her. She looked so vulnerable. I smiled reassuringly and she threw herself into my arms.
I was in between a rock and a hard place. I didn't know whether to return the hug or shrug it off as a friend thing. I had know idea why I felt so scared at this particular moment. I guess it was the look Buffy was giving me at the moment. I'm going to stop rambling now.
***
Cordy:
Have you any idea how pissed off I was that that bastard didn't return my hug! I know he didn't tell Buffy, but damn it all I was hurt. Not to mention I'm his girlfriend now. Jackass. I gave him the evil eye and he looked from me, to *her*.
"W-we need t-to t-t-alk," He stammered like the jackass he was.
"Oh yeah, we definitely need to talk," Buffy said, folding her arms across her chest.
"Now," I added and we all went into the kitchen. The Scooby Gang looked after us like we all were crazy.
In the kitchen Angel began to smile dumbly. He put his hands in his pockets and sighed, "Um, so... Uh, Cordy and I...Uh, um..."
"We're sleeping together. Actually we're in love. Why is he not evil, you ask? Because the Powers That Be thought I was better than you. I agree." I said, with a smile. The old Sunnydale bitchiness in me coming out.
"Cordelia!" Angel yelled at me. I hunched my shoulders.
"What?" I said.
"You two are together?" Buffy said hurt.
Angel walked up to her and put his arms on her shoulders, " Yes, it wasn't planned...I-it just happened."
"And my question is, 'why are you explaining this to her?' Jeez you moved on to bigger and better things..." I said. Okay before I blame my attitude on Sunnydale bitchiness again, I must tell you that now I was just being nasty. I didn't know why I was being so hostile. Normally I would be sympathetic to that snotty bitch...Damn where is this coming from? I just couldn't stop myself.
"Cordelia, you will never be bigger or better than me," Buffy said through gritted teeth.
"Ladies, both of you need to calm down," Angel added.
"Shut up, Angel!" We both said.
"You know, you're right. I will never be bigger than you. My ass wouldn't look so fat in that white suit. As for better, just ask Angel who's better." I said clamping my hands over my mouth. I didn't want to get my ass kicked, but I think this blue ooze was affecting me. Angel picked up on my predicament.
"It's the ooze Buffy. Normally she's not like this at all," he defended me.
"I think she's been playing you, Angel. This is the Cordy I remember. Very clearly."
Suddenly, everything went black and I was back in that hallway again. What the hell was going on with me?
***
Angel:
I was about to defend Cordelia again when her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she past out right there on the kitchen floor. I took her in my arms and held her as her body began to convulse.
"Just a few months ago you were comforting me over my mom's death...you kissed me under the tree in the cemetery! You said you wish you could be with me!" Buffy yelled.
"To comfort you about your mother's death. I thought it was clear to both of us that you and I should move on," I sighed.
"I can't move on! You were the love of my life," Buffy said.
"You did move on, many times I heard," I yelled trying not to sound as jealous as I felt. These were old wounds being reopened.
"I was lonely!" She sighed.
"And I wasn't? God, Buffy, if you only knew how lonely I was." I sighed.
"Why Cordelia?" Buffy said.
"Because ... she's my soulmate," I said and then I added. "And I love her."
"Bullshit!" Buffy stormed out of the kitchen.
I kissed Cordelia's forehead and held her tight.
***
Cordy:
I wish I could say I heard Angel profess his love for me to Buffy, but I was running down a huge ass make believe hallway trying not to get my ass chewed off by this shadow beast again. Doors lined the hallway and I banged on each one, none opened. One last door appeared in front of me and it opened. I ran through it and bumped into the one person I never expected to see again.
"Doyle?" I said, surprised and panting.
"Hey, luv," he closed the door just as the shadow beast was going to enter the room.
"What the hell is going on?" I yelled.
"No, Hey Doyle! I missed ya, Doyle? I dream about you every night, Doyle?" he sighed.
"Oh, I'm sorry, how about... I'm being chased by a huge ass demon, Doyle? What the hell is going on?" I said having neither the time or patience to deal with Doyle's antics.
"Well, you see, I screwed up. I gave you my mind shattering visions, forgetting that you were a mere human," Doyle sighed and snapped his fingers. The empty room became a bar.
"And that has to do with the demon chasing me how?" I sat next to him at the bar.
"That's not a demon, that's a manifestation of your visions," he said, downing a shot of scotch. "And every time it gets a swipe of you," he pointed to her back, "it's going to take a little piece of your sanity."
"Great," I rolled my eyes. "How do I stop it?"
"Defeat the vision creature," he said.
"And how do I do that?"
"Show it that it's not the boss of you," Doyle smiled. The beast banged on the door viciously. "Now, I think you should run." He said just as the vision creature broke down the door.
I ran, but it cornered me and slashed me on my thigh. I screamed.
***
Angel:
She came awake with a scream. I moved her to the couch and stood vigil over her. Her thigh was leaking the same bluish colored ooze that came from her back.
"Angel, it's a vision creature. My visions are attacking me. Taking away my sanity piece by piece." She said in one breath.
Willow came out of the kitchen with a wet rag and a bandage for Cordelia's leg. Willow started to wipe and Cordelia jumped.
"Don't let her touch me," she yelled to me, I was thoroughly confused. "She's... gay!"
"Will, I'm sorry Cordelia's not herself," I said, seeing the fleeting anger cross her features.
"It's okay," Willow smiled.
"What happened, Will? Xander turn you gay? Believe me, he almost turned me," she laughed.
"Cordelia!" I said. Xander shook his head and left the room.
"Angel, I want to go home, " She sighed.
"We have to figure out how to help you," I said.
"I have to defeat the creature," Cordelia said in a tiny voice.
"How?"
"Don't know," she giggled and I shook my head, she was definitely losing it.
***
Cordy:
I looked at Angel, as he took another concerned glance at me from across the room. He was speaking in hushed tones with Giles. Giles was sighing and shaking his head a lot and Angel looked annoyed. Willow came up to me with a glass of water and I knocked out of her hand.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm behaving like this Will," I said in tears Willow took my hand.
"We're going to help you, okay?" She promised and I smiled through my tears.
Suddenly, Buffy began to speak with Giles and Angel. She placed her hand on his arm and began to rub. Her hand immediately went to his ass and I sat up. No, that bitch was not touching my man, I thought. Willow looked at Giles, Buffy and Angel and she saw nothing out of the ordinary. Buffy's hand went to the front of Angel's pants and squeezed. Then she kissed his cheek. Then she ripped open his shirt and began kissing his chest.
"Stop," I whispered and Willow looked at me, strangely.
Buffy went on her knees and opened Angel's pants.
"Stop," I said louder. Willow took my hand.
"There's nothing there," she said and I ignored her as Buffy reached inside Angel's pants.
I jumped off the couch, and ran towards Buffy. I punched her in the face and she fell to the floor. I jumped on her, wrapped my hands around her throat, and squeezed. Buffy looked at me, surprised.
"You touch him again and I kill you," I yelled and Buffy yawned.
"Get her off of me before I'm forced to hurt her," she said.
Angel grabbed me by the waist. He carried me upstairs to Dawn's room. He put me on Dawn's bed.
"I'm sorry," I said, hugging him.
***
Angel:
"I'm sorry," she cried. I didn't blame her, it was my fault she was losing it. If she didn't get these damn visions then we wouldn't be in this mess. I just hoped and prayed that we could get her back.
"It's okay, baby." I stroked her hair. "Why did you attack Buffy?" I said still shocked that Cordelia actually floored Buffy with a punch.
"I don't know, I thought I saw her touching you," she whispered.
"She touched my shoulder to get my attention," I explained.
"No," she sighed. "That's not what I saw. I saw her touching your ass and she was about to go down on you."
"You were hallucinating," I told her and she nodded.
"I saw Doyle in my dream before," she whispered sleepily. "He told me to become the creatures boss or something like that."
"If this creature comes after you this time I want you to stand up tall and tell it that you are not afraid of it. I want you to mean it," I told her and she nodded.
"I will," she passed out.
"Fight it, Cordelia," I whispered kissing her cheek.
***
Cordy:
Back in this fucking hallway again. The shadow beast/vision creature, whatever, was bearing down on me, I almost screamed and ran when I remembered what Angel said to me. Stand up tall and tell it that you are not afraid of it.
"I'm not afraid of you," I screamed and it kept coming. Show it that it's not the boss of you, Doyle's words came back to me. "You're *my* visions, I control you, you will *not* make me go insane. " That stopped it. It looked at me with red glowing eyes.
"I'm not running from you anymore. I'm not running from my fate. If I'm the Seer, and you're my visions, *I* make the rules. You got that!" The vision creature began to shrink.
"No more uncontrollable mood swings, no more uncontrollable crying, no more mind shattering skull splitting headaches after a vision either!" The creature kept getting smaller and smaller. "This is *my* stand Powers! I'm not taking this anymore. If I wasn't supposed to be a Seer, then *you* shouldn't have given me the power!" I yelled and before I knew it the vision creature was gone.
"That's telling them princess," Doyle said.
"Was this some sort of stupid... asinine... *ridiculous*--"
"Test? Yes, it was a test," Doyle interrupted my rant.
"Why?" I sighed thoroughly annoyed with the PTB.
"Because you have a very tough destiny ahead of you. They were just making sure they picked the right person," Doyle grinned.
"Then I past the test?"
"With flying colors."
"Good, I'm outta here," I said walking to the end of the hall.
"No hug?" Doyle said and I smiled. I gave him a big hug. I closed my eyes and enjoyed our embrace. I really did miss him. When I opened my eyes again I was hugging Angel. I looked down at my wound and it was gone.
"I won," I smiled. Angel smiled back.
"I knew you would," he said.
***
Epilogue: Angel:
So it was time to kiss and make up. Cordelia profusely apologized to everyone she offended while she was going insane. She even apologized to Buffy. Buffy accepted, but I knew they were along way from being best-friends. Then I had to apologize to Buffy. I walked up to her and sighed.
"Buffy, I never meant to hurt you," I began, she held her hand up.
"Just go," she said, folding her arms across her chest.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"Angel, good-bye," she said and turned away from me. I could have sworn she was crying.
"Good-bye Buffy," I said. And I walked out.
***
Cordy:
I watched the exchange between Buffy and Angel and I hurt for him. I knew who he loved now, but Buffy was his first human romance.
I stared at her in amazement, "You are some piece of work," I said and she rolled her eyes. "How *you* manage to make him feel guilty for falling in love? That I will never understand. Good-bye...Buffy."
I walked out after Angel. We headed home to good ol' LA.
Part 7: Just One of Those Days
Cordy:
I don't know. Maybe it's PMS, but Angel has been working my last nerve lately. Don't get me wrong, I love him. I love him very much, but he's been hovering over me like a hawk.
Lately, it's been pretty vision-less. I, just figured the Powers were giving us a small break after that whole vision creature trying to kill me thing. So naturally, I wanted to enjoy it. I touched up my highlights, tried out a new self tanner, brought a new matching lipstick and nail polish, and I also went to the Mall and brought a little something from Fredrick's of Hollywood. Too bad Angel will probably never see it, because I swear on everything that's holy, if he asks me if I had a vision one more time...it's gonna get ugly.
***
Angel:
Okay, maybe I'm being a pain in the ass, but I worry when the Powers slack off like this. Cordelia has been giving me evil glares all day. Wesley has totally ignored me. And Gunn, well, he's MIA. Maybe I should be happy that we've gotten a small break. Maybe, I should submerge myself in paperwork, like Wesley. Or maybe I should go out shopping like my non-vision having girlfriend. I'm a champion, I fight the good fight.
Why can't anyone see that I'm bored?
***
Cordy:
Uh oh, here he comes, swaggering across the room with his hands in his pants pocket. That's his submissive, non-aggressive, I need something pose.
"Cordy," he begins and I give him the evil eye.
"If you ask me if I've had a vision, I'm going to stake you!" I warned.
"Well, did you?" He asked and was smart enough to run when I went reaching into the bottom drawer of my desk. After a few minutes, he flopped lifelessly on the lobby couch. I heard him sigh and suddenly I felt bad. He must be so bored. That's why he was being such a pain. I got up and walked over to him.
"Bored, huh?" I said, rubbing his stomach.
"I don't know what's wrong with me, but ever since Pylea, I've been antsy in the daytime. Like now, it's twelve in the afternoon, I should be sleep, but I'm awake. *Wide* awake," he sighed again.
"Yeah, well, we *have* been sleeping like a regular couple since we haven't had to stay up all night fighting evil," I informed him.
"I know."
"I have an idea. You know those clothes you brought me. I never tried all of them on. Maybe I can give you a fashion show," I smiled, " upstairs," I kissed him, "and then I can show you what's in my Fredrick's of Hollywood bag."
He smiled, "I d-did h-happen to notice the bag," he stuttered as I licked his ear.
"Mmm hmm, so follow me," I tugged him up onto his feet.
***
Angel:
It's funny how I knew just what to buy Cordelia. I had nothing to compare anything I bought to. I didn't even know her size. What I did remember is every dip, curve, and plane of her body and I knew what I liked to see her in. Cordy looks great in everything, but I remember when we were first started A.I. I used to love seeing her in those flirty sheer tops and flowing skirts. You know, the really girly-girl outfits. I also like seeing her in those tight tube dresses. Like that black one she wore when she went out with that boring guy that kept talking about stocks or whatever. Cordelia also looks great in the color red and in the color lavender.
I'm so in love with her, it's sickening, no wonder Wes and Gunn have been avoiding us. I grinned as she came out of the bathroom wearing a red multicolored dress I bought her. It was frilly and short. She looked...hot. I must have growled appreciatively cause she giggled and did a little spin worthy of any supermodel out there. She winked at me and grabbed another flowing dress out of the bag. I knew exactly which one it was too. It was white and very form fitting.
Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so bored.
***
Cordy:
I'm shocked at how perfectly these clothes fit. I guess Angel was checking me out long before we became lovers. I smiled at that thought as I put the tight white dress on. I was made of this shiny Lycra material and it was 3 quarter length. It hugged my body like a glove. If that short red number made him growl before, this was going to end the fashion show, but I didn't mind.
I sashayed out of the bathroom into the bedroom where he was leaning back on the bed waiting for me to come out. As soon as he saw me he sat up and then he was speechless. Just the sheer wonderment in his eyes was enough for me. I went to him and straddled his lap carefully not to rip the dress. He wrapped his arms around me and we kissed.
"You are so beautiful," he kissed me, again. His fingers entangled in my hair. It was times like these when I wished I wasn't so hasty in cutting my hair.
"You're not so bad yourself," I smiled. He kissed my neck and began to take off my dress.
He stood me up and my dress pooled at my feet. I stood only in a thong before him. He kissed my nipples and smiled.
"Perfect," he whispered and I moaned as he began to suck each one of those so called perfect nipples. My legs buckled and he caught me around waist and I straddled his lap again. I could feel his hardness at the juncture of my thighs. I pulled his head back and kissed his neck. I nipped and he jumped back grabbing my shoulders.
"Don't do that!" he said, gently. I started rocking in his lap. He groaned.
"Why?" I nipped him again and he flipped me on my back with a growl.
"Because," he said as I hopeless ly tugged at his shirt. He took it off, and then undid his trousers and kicked them off. He then took off his boxers.
"Because why?" I said, breathlessly. Getting a real good look of every glorious inch of him.
He tugged off my panties and I arched into him.
***
Angel:
How could I explain this to her without freaking her out? Uh, Cordelia biting a vampire on his neck is sort of a sacred thing between vampire lovers, so until you want to become one...knock it off. She kissed me and then she nipped the other side of my neck.
"Because why?" She grinned evilly.
"Because it makes me want to retaliate," I said running my vampire teeth over her neck, I didn't even know I went into gameface.
She wrapped her legs around my waist and whispered in my ear, "Then retaliate," she said in my ear.
"I'll hurt you," I said trying to keep my vampire in control.
"Maybe, I want you to hurt me," she groaned as I entered her swiftly. "I want you to fuck me."
"Potty mouth," I joked and she smiled.
"You love it," she challenged me to deny it. I couldn't. I did love it.
I began pumping in and out of her hard. She moaned at each thrust, arching up against me, meeting my thrust. Our bodies slapped together. Her fingers went through my hair and she turned her head to the side revealing her neck to me.
"Retaliate, Angel," she begged me breathlessly.
"I can't," I argued.
"I want it, please, Angel, I'm almost there," she keened, her hands squeezing my biceps. I growled.
***
Cordy:
When he sank his teeth into my neck, I shattered into a million pieces. His teeth impaling me one way while his cock was impaling me another, it made me scream in ecstasy. He broke away gasping. I kissed him tasting my blood in his mouth. He put his head on my forehead and shuddered to a climax. Never since we have been together has he ever came as long and hard as he did then. I almost wept.
"I hurt you," he whispered kissing my tiny wounds. His human face was looking at me with concern.
"In a good way," I smiled. He rolled off of me and took me in his arms.
"You know this seals it right?" he said. and I stretched.
"Seals what?" I yawned.
"You're mine, forever," he smiled and I smiled.
"And you're mine," I smiled and he nodded.
"Uh, where's that Fredrick's bag?" Angel asked and I giggled.
Part 8: What Can Tear Two People Apart
Cordy:
Don't you hate it when things are going perfectly and then someone has a blast of conscience and ruins it all with a few simple words?
"I-I slept with, Darla," He said holding my hand.
We were lying quietly in bed. Basking in the afterglow of our own love making when he took my hand and spilled the beans. I had a feeling he did sleep with her recently. I was hoping that he'd tell me the truth that night in front of the vampire cult. But he lied. And that's what pissed me off. The fact that he looked me straight in the eyes and lied.
"I don't know what the hell I was thinking," He continued, my hand in his went limp.
"You weren't," I clarified.
"I never meant to lie to you," He said. I turned to him.
"How else would you cover your ass then?" I whispered angrily.
"Cordy," he sighed knowing I was pissed off. "We weren't even together. It meant nothing."
"It meant everything Angel. What if you would have turned evil? What if you would have joined up with Darla again and came after us?" I yelled and he sat up.
"But I didn't turn evil," He said.
"And why was that?"
"Because I slept with her and it was filled with despair," He said.
"When you sleep with me are you happy?" I asked him. All of this now had me questioning myself and I hated that.
"I'm more than happy." He said, leaning down to kiss me. I pushed him back.
"I have to go home, now," I said standing up. He let out a big sigh.
"Cordy, stay please, it's 4' o clock in the morning," Angel pleaded, but I just wanted to get away from him. If only for a couple of hours.
"I'm going home," I said, he stood up and tried to put his arms around me. I jerked away from him.
"I'm sorry," he said, I just looked at him and shook my head. He was a liar.
"I just need to be away from you right now," I told him as I put on my clothes.
"What can I do to right all of this?" He said as I was at the door.
"I need space," I said and I left
***
Angel:
Her version of space was insane. She hadn't been to the Hyperion in days. She hasn't called. It was driving me mad. I didn't understand why she was taking this so seriously, I made a stupid mistake. I made that particular mistake before we even were together. Why was she so angry at me? I posed the question to Wes and Gunn.
"You broke the trust, man. It's that simple. I mean, first you fire her, then you practically attack her, then you come back this so called changed ... man. Then you lie to her, again. " Gunn said and I sighed.
"You have know idea how worried she was about you and the whole Darla situation," Wesley added. I sighed...again.
"Well, is there anyway to get her back," I asked them and they both hunched their shoulders. "I'm going out," I said and they nodded. I needed to talk to Lorne.
***
Cordy
Why am I taking this so hard you might ask? Because I'm sick of being lied to. This goes back waaay before that Willow\Xander debacle. Back to my childhood... to my father.
Richard Chase was a busy man. Always out of town. I accepted that he had a business to run. All through out my childhood he would promise," I'll come to your dance recital, I'll make it to your birthday party," and every time he would miss it. He would look me in the eye and promise me that he'd make it. He never did.
I always wondered to myself why he would schedule a meeting when he knew my birthday party was that day. After he missed my Sweet Sixteen party, my mother, drunk off of bourbon drove me to a hotel. She gave me a key and told me to go to room 15C and asked my father about his important meeting. I opened the door and caught my father with not one, but two bimbos. Oh, he was apologetic, after that he bought me my red sports car, but he continued to look me in the eye and lie to me. After that, I lost all my trust in him.
I think I've lost all my trust in Angel. I picked up the phone and called my mother. She was in West Hollywood staying at a townhouse that my grandfather foot the bill for. We both have grown closer since the hotel incident. We even called each other every Sunday. Well, today was Tuesday, so she knew something was wrong.
"Sweetheart what's going on?" She asked me and I began to cry. "What did he do? Did he bite you?"
"He lied to me," I said, wiped my tears away.
"About?" My mother asked.
"A woman," I said.
"I'll be right over, baby." She said and I nodded. I needed my Mom.
***
Angel:
I sat down at the newly decorated bar at Caritas and Lorne immediately sat next to me.
"I'm getting all different types of funky waves off of you babe," He said.
"I screwed up." I sighed. "Strangers in the night", I sung quickly.
"You screwed Darla!" he leaned back in shock and his eyes went wide, "Oh my God, you told Cordelia!"
"Yeah," I sighed.
"Did you lose all your brains when we went through the portal?" Lorne asked.
"I didn't want to keep anything from her," I defended myself.
"Tell that lie to someone else. You were feeling guilty so you told her," Lorne sighed. I ordered a shot of Johnny Walker Red.
"She left me," I said.
"I don't think so. She's hurt, but I don't think she's left you," Lorne put his hand on my shoulder. "You have to grovel, babe. You have to tell her those little things in your heart you're only brave enough to mention while you two are doing the horizontal polka. You have to beg, plead, you might even have to cry. "
"Will she come back to me, then?" I asked.
"Yeah, but it won't be the same, sweetie. You're going to have to work it back, to where it was," Lorne left me sitting at the bar. I finished my drink and headed to Cordelia's apartment having no idea what I was going to say or do.
***
Cordy:
"Oh my poor thing," Was the first thing my mother said to me when she arrived at my apartment. She hugged me tight and kissed my cheek. "So," she said, sitting with me on the couch, "when did that son-of-a-bitch cheat on you?"
"He didn't cheat on me," I sighed.
"But on the phone you said it was about a woman."
"I know and it is ... he slept with an old flame and lied to me about it," I wiped my nose.
"But you two weren't together...romantically," my mother looked thoroughly confused.
"No," I said.
"Then why are you upset?" Mother asked me.
"Because he lied. Looked me in the eye and lied," I said.
"Honey," Mom took my hand, " men do that."
"But Mom," I cried and she hushed me.
"Listen to me," She began, " men no matter how big or tall or righteous...lie. There are few out there who do not lie...they're called 'The Clergy' and even sometimes they tell white lies. You weren't involved with Angel at that time, but he probably was in love with you then. That's why he didn't tell you that he slept with this woman from his past. He more than likely didn't want you to think less of him."
"Then why did he tell me now?" I asked, and my mother sighed.
"Guilt, or maybe he didn't want to lie to you anymore, just because he loves you so much," She put her arms around me and I put my head on her shoulder.
"He just reminded me so much of Daddy."
"That's what this is all about? Your father?" She looked me in the eye. "Don't ever compare Angel to your father he's nothing like him. Your father was a coward and he lied to cover his own ass."
"Angel lies to cover his own ass," I argued. "He also buys my affection just like Daddy."
"Well, sweetie, you don't realize how unforgiving you can be sometimes." She sighed.
"I'm unforgiving?" I asked surprised.
"You are like me," she grinned. "You can hold on to a grudge until someone has to pry it out of your cold dead fingers. Especially, if it's someone you love. When was the last time you spoke to Angel?"
"About two days ago," I sighed.
"And when did you plan on calling him?"
"Never," I tucked my hair behind my ears and Mom just smiled at me.
"Stubborn to a fault. You could have had this all behind you two by now."
"I don't think so," I folded my arms across my chest and Mom rolled her eyes.
"I think so," Mom said and I shook my head. "You just need to learn how to forgive and forget." She looked at me and I turned away from her. "Stubborn," she patted my head and got up. She headed towards the kitchen. "I'm making us some tea."
"I have nothing in here to spike it with," I said. Figuring she was looking in the back of the cabinets for booze.
"I haven't had a single drink since the restaurant, so there," She stuck her tongue out at me.
"That's good, Mom," I smiled, a little in awe. Then the doorbell rang and I knew exactly who it was.
***
Angel:
"Angel," she said. She looked like hell and I felt like shit for putting her through all of this.
"Cordelia, forgive me, please," I said and she stood straight with her arms folded across her chest. I got on my knees, Armani slacks and all. "I am a lying pig, you should strap me to a stake right before dawn."
"Angel, your ruining your Armani pants," she yelled at me.
"Armani be damned... I'm trying to grovel here!" I yelled back and she just stared at me in amazement. " I'm so sorry. I love you. I just didn't want to hurt you. I know lying to you hurt you more than the truth, I'm an idiot. "
"Angel ... get up," she sighed.
"You forgive me?" I asked, hopefully.
"I forgave you when you got down on your knees in the dirt with your new Armani's on. Come inside," She pulled me up by my hands and practically dragged me inside.
That was too easy. "Uh... are you going to torture me?" I asked, suspiciously.
"Nope, take off your pants, maybe I can't get the stains out before they set," she said and I took them off. She disappeared, leaving me sitting on the couch wearingj ust my leather coat my shirt, and yes today I was going commando.
"Honey, I've finished the tea," Her mother said. I jumped and pulled a pillow over myself.
"Cynthia," I said in a high pitched voice. "Cordy didn't tell me you were here and I didn't hear you in the kitchen."
"Well, I didn't hear you come in. By the way, sweetie, Your pants are missing." She took a slow sip of her tea and grinned a little too appreciatively for me.
"W-well, I-I f-fell in t-the mud. M-My p-pants a-are Armani, C-Cordy's t-trying to get t-the stains out b-before...um, t-they set," I stammered like an idiot.
"May I ask how old you are? I've been wondering that for some time, now," She said sitting closer to me.
"I'm 247," I said. And Cordy made a 'Pfft' sound as she walked out of her bedroom. "What?"
"You've been 247 since Sunnydale. You're 249. Embrace your age." She threw my pants back at me and I caught them. "Don't put them on yet there a little damp," she warned and I gave her a plaintive look. I did not want to be half naked in front of her mother.
"I'm 247, damn it," I argued.
"You're a renaissance man, how lovely." Her mother smiled and glanced at the pillow in my lap for the third time. I gave Cordy a "help me," look and she grinned evilly.
"Are you afraid of my mother?" she asked.
"Just a little bit," I said and Cynthia ran her hand through my hair.
"As you should be," Cynthia said, then she whispered in my ear. "Boy, if this was the 70s the things I would do to you would make your toes curl."
I jumped away from her dropping the pillow and all my secrets where told, I damned my shirt for not being long enough to cover. Cynthia smiled and Cordelia laughed. I guess I deserved this utter embarrassment. I sighed and grabbed my pants. I practically ran in to her bedroom.
"Mmm, baby got back!" I heard Cynthia say as I closed the bedroom door.
***
Cordy:
Okay, I was laughing so hard I could barely breath. Angel is so easy to embarrass. I couldn't believe my Mom humiliated him like that. I knew she was up to something when I came out of the bedroom and she was sitting way to close to him. At first I was going to get pissed off at her, but then she winked at me and I knew she had some sort of master plan.
"You are evil," I told her after I was able to get myself under control.
"I'm just a mother watching out for her daughter. Making sure certain people don't take advantage of your new found courage to forgive," She sipped her tea again and I shook my head. "Besides, he was half naked and hey, I was curious," she grinned. I could do nothing, but laugh again.
"Anyhoo, I must be going. Tell Angel, I'm not sorry in the least bit. And take care of yourself." She finished her tea and kissed my cheek. She grabbed her purse and was heading out the door when I stopped her.
"Mom, Let's go out on Sundays instead of calling. I would like to see you more," I said and she looked like she was going to cry. She smiled, instead.
"I would like that," she said and left.
I went to go find Angel, who was more than likely pouting. He was lying on my bed still pant-less.
"I'm glad you had fun at my expense," He sighed.
"It could have been worse. I could have told you to go to Hell like I was going to originally," I said, coldly.
"I know," He said.
"You broke my trust Angel. For me, that's worse than breaking my heart. It takes a lot for me to trust someone completely and you threw that away because of what? Why did you lie?"
"I didn't tell you about Darla because I didn't want you to think I was weak. I slept with her not because I wanted her. I slept with her because I didn't want *anything* anymore. I didn't care about my Shanshu. I didn't care about the world. I just wanted it all over. I didn't want to explain to you how much of a coward I had become," He ran his hands through his hair and I sat next to him.
"Angel, you're not on a pedestal. I don't think you are supposed to be the pinnacle of what a hero is. You are allowed to say, 'You know what...this sucks or I'm tired,' because what we do is very tiring. There's very little glamour or 'Thank you's' in this business. That's why we have to stay together. Because when you're tired, we have your back and when we're tired, you have ours. That's why I couldn't understand why you fired us. At first, I thought it was because of Darla, but then I realized it was about you breaking away from the Powers. From me," I sighed.
"Not you," he assured me. "I just didn't want to feel like a puppet. I felt like everyone was pulling my strings, the Powers, Wolfram and Hart, Darla and Dru. I was out of control. I never meant to hurt you," he touched my arm. "Or threaten you."
"It's okay, just make sure it never happens again or I'll leave the window curtains just open enough for the sunlight to roast your balls." I smiled sweetly at him.
"You're a dangerous woman," he shook his head. "I will try not to ever lie to you again." He proclaimed and I smiled.
"Trying is...good." I hugged him and he hugged me back.
Part 9: Ladies Night
Angel:
It was Sunday night, Cordelia and Cynthia Chase were going out ... alone. Cordelia looked like...well, she looked like a very expensive hooker. Could I say something to Cordy about the way she was dressed? In a word...no. Not after last Sunday's screw up when I told her I slept with Darla. So, I guess this was my punishment. Watching my girlfriend go out ... without me ... wearing this tight dress that accentuated her curves and those long legs. A dress I bought her to wear when I she was with me. The white dress...remember.
So, now I sit in her apartment depressed, praying that she spills something red on that damn dress. What the hell was I thinking when I bought that for her? I looked at her long legs and remembered the night she tried that dress on for me. *That* was what I was thinking, I sighed to myself as she fixed her make up. I saw her hide a grin.
"You sure I can't come?" I whined and she rolled her eyes.
"No. It's Ladies night," she winked at me.
"Why do you have to wear that?" I whined, again...Yes, it was becoming a habit.
"Because I like it," she put on her sandals and I sighed again. "How's my hair?" She asked me fluffing her curls up.
"It was fine until you did that," I said, pouting.
She rubbed my chin, "Pouting is unbecoming on you," she kissed my forehead as she went into her bedroom.
That's when Cynthia arrived wearing one mid length blue fox fur, and carrying another, "Cordelia, sweets, I have a present from Papa for you," She sang as she sat down and crossed her legs. She was wearing a tight leather dress that stopped mid-thigh. I absent-mindedly admired the legs that Cordelia inherited until Dennis smacked me in the back of the head. "Hello, Angel. Nice to see you fully clothed," she leered at me from under her red Christen Dior oversized shades.
"Hello Cynthia," I sighed.
"Cordelia, what are you doing? You're going to make us late for our reservations! Not to mention, I can't wait to see this club you keep telling me about," Cynthia said, checking her make up. Her long black hair was out in tumbling waves that made her look more like Cordelia's sister than mother.
Finally, Cordelia came out of the bedroom. She was wearing the lavender sheer flowing dress I bought her, it was much less clingy. I let out a breath of relief.
"Not. One. Word." She warned me and I grinned.
"Look what Papa bought you," Cynthia said holding up the fur coat. Cordelia smiled and eagerly put it on. "And I bought you these," Cynthia handed Cordelia and eyeglass case the same Christian Dior glasses in red were inside. It was good to see them bonding.
"So how do we look?" Cordelia asked me.
"You both look beautiful," I stood up and kissed each of them on the cheek. "Have a great night, stay out of trouble." I turned to Cynthia, "Watch her."
"No problem," Cynthia grinned.
"Later," Cordelia said, and the Chase girls left the building.
***
Angel:
Okay, can I just say I did not cop out on wearing the white dress. I went into my bedroom to get my purse when suddenly I tripped and spilled red candle wax on the dress. I swear Angel was working some serious voodoo. I just pray it's salvageable.
So I was hanging out with Mom. In my brand new fur and shades. I can't believe Grandpa bought this for me. He probably felt bad for not taking me in after my parents fled the country. He was just another person trying to buy my affection I shoud've told Mom to take this coat back to Grandpa and tell him to shove it, but it had been a really long time since I was spoiled and bedsides it was fur!
We went to a classy restaurant in east, LA called Del Rae where we ate lobster thermador and pepper steak, we had cherries jubilee for desert. I was surprised when my mother ordered Diet Coke for her drink, instead of a Manhattan or a glass of their best Chianti. I didn't comment on her sudden change, but I was proud of her.
During dinner we talked. I mean we talked about anything and everything. I had actually forgotten how fun my mother actually was and how uninhibited she was. I guess being newly divorced does that to a person.
"You know, I'm actually thinking about going back to college," Mom said over our dessert and I looked at her in shock.
"For what?" I practically choked.
"For art history maybe, I always loved art," She sighed reminiscing. "I used to paint you know, very well, actually. When I was young I got a scholarship to UCLA, " She sighed.
"What happened?" I asked, shocked, I never knew she painted.
"I met your father. He was dashing beyond belief," she sighed.
"You fell in love with him and had me," I said.
"Actually, he went to my father ask for my hand in marriage and my father accepted in my behalf." She looked at my outraged face, and laughed. "Yeah, that's about the look I gave my father when he ordered me to marry Richard."
"That's so cold, so loveless," I protested.
"That's upper class society," she grinned and took my hand. "Cordelia, my marriage to your father might have been a farce, but I assure you, you were born out of love." She said, touching my cheek.
"How is that possible?" I whispered.
"Your father...He and I...well, trust me it just is," she finished and I looked at her strangely. She wasn't telling me something, but I let it go. Why spoil a nice night? We finished dessert and headed over to Caritas.
***
Angel:
**Click**
Boring...
**Click**
Seen it...
**Click**
Who wants to see a show about some genetically altered super chick? Dark Angel my ass.
**Click**
WWF? CAN YOU SMEELLLL HOW BORED...I AM?
**Click**
I wonder what Cordelia's doing?
***
"One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya'
I'm gonna trick ya', trick ya', trick ya', trick ya'
One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya'
I'm gonna give you the slip"
Yes, Karaoke with Mom. Who I just found out does a mean impression of Debbie Harry? I mean the Caritas crowd are on their feet.
"I'll walk down the mall, stand over by the wall
Where I can see it all, find out who ya' call
Lead you to the supermarket checkout, some specials and rat food
Get lost in the crowd
One way or another I'm gonna get ya'
I'll get ya'
I'll get ya', get ya', get ya', get ya'
Where I can see it all, find out who ya' call"
I clapped when she was done and laughed as she dramatically bowed to the crowd. Lorne immediately came over to me and sat down just before my Mom sat down.
"Whew," she exclaimed. "That was liberating," she laughed. "Oh," she screamed when she finally noticed Lorne.
"It's okay, Mom. He's a good demon." I assured her and she shook her head in amazement.
"Hiya, sweetie, can I just say...You in that outfit, singing like Debbie Harry...Rrrwwor," he meowed at my Mom and she blushed.
"Lorne can see things aura wise when you sing. He can tell your destiny," I said and my Mom's smiled swiftly faded.
"He knows everything? Even the past?" She said, nervously twisting the table cloth.
"Yes, but I'm like a psychiatrist. If you want your secrets kept... they're safe with me," He smiled.
"Oh," she answered, not in the least bit comforted by that information.
"So, what do you see in my mother's future?" I asked, excitedly.
"I saw a lot of life changes. Good ones. Like that whole school thing...great plan." He said.
'T-thank you," she said. She still was nervous.
"What's wrong Mom?" I took her hands.
"Nothing...I'm Fine," she exclaimed and I looked at Lorne who sighed. He obviously knew what was wrong with her.
"Lorne? Why is she freaking out?" I asked.
"Oh no no no, I'm not stepping anywhere near this one," he said sipping on his drink.
"Lorne!" I yelled and he smiled.
"Cordelia, I'm feeling a bit under the weather," She said.
"Okay, we'll go home." I said, confused. Lorne just grinned again.
"Night Ladies," He said as we left.
We drove home in silence.
***
Angel:
So, out of sheer boredom, I had resorted to snooping in Cordelia's stuff.
After pillaging her drawers and closets I actually found a photo album. I opened it up and found several pictures of Cordelia as a cute chubby baby and pictures of Cynthia after giving birth. I was amazed at how much Cordelia and Cynthia looked alike.
I flipped through the book when a picture caught my eye. It was another picture of Cynthia and newborn Cordy, except in this picture there was a man standing next to Cynthia's hospital bed. He was too tall to be Richard Chase. And he had dark brown hair and brown eyes. He was smiling, I flipped further through the books and found several other pictures of the same tall man this time he was with an older Cordelia at a vineyard.
Who was this guy? I kept thinking as I finished going through the book. And why wasn't Richard Chase in any of these pictures?
***
We parked outside my apartment and she turned off the car. She turned to me and smiled.
"I had a lovely time. I'm so sorry that I cut it so short," she said and I smiled at her.
"Yeah, I had a good time, too. And don't worry about it. Next week is another time," I kissed her cheek and got out of the car. I was walking to my front door when she called out to me.
"Cordelia," She called and I turned around, I walked back to the car checking to see if didn't leave anything. I didn't.
"Yeah, Mom." I asked.
"Can I see you tomorrow? I must talk to you about something. How is around lunchtime?" She said.
"That's fine," I said, not able to hide the concern in my voice. She smiled and sped off.
What was going on with her? I thought as I went home.
***
Angel:
She's home! I practically jumped for joy. I felt like a high strung puppy that missed it's owner. She smiled at me as I met her at the door and kissed her passionately.
"Down boy," she said.
"What's wrong?" I asked as she flopped down on the couch.
"There's something wrong with Mom. I mean she's stopped drinking and she's acting so weird lately. We had to call it an early night because she said she wasn't feeling well. Tomorrow, we're having lunch cause she said she wanted to tell me something." Her eyes went big and she stood up. "Maybe she has cancer. My grandma died of breast cancer when she was about her age." She said in a panic.
"I doubt that's what it is," I said.
"You didn't see her at Caritas. She sung, like a pro by the way, and then Lorne came over and she freaked," She sighed taking off her shoes. She sat back on the couch and I sat next to her. She stretched out and I began to massage her feet.
"Well, Lorne is a bit much when you first see him. Loud, even," I joked and she glared at me.
"This is serious, Angel. She acted like...like she didn't want to know her destiny," Cordelia looked as if she was going to cry. Then it hit me.
The man from the picture, "Cordelia, " I began picking her photo album up. "Who's this man?" I showed her the picture.
"Oh," she smiled "that's Sebastian Selas, my God father. He lives in Italy. We used to visit him alot, when I was a little girl," she smiled, fondly.
"Why isn't your father in any of these pictures?" I said, having a feeling that her father was in those pictures she just didn't know it.
"He was always busy with work, or other stuff," she hunched her shoulders.
"Oh," I said.
"Where did you find this anyway?" she said, as she looked through the book.
"I your closet. I got bored. I snooped...forgive me?" I said, giving her puppy dogs eyes. She smiled and sat up.
"You're forgiven," she said, straddling my lap. She kissed me passionately.
"Bed?" I said, when we finally broke apart.
"Bed," she answered me with a seductive grin.
Continue on...