Title: Stumble and Fall
Author: Daisy
Posted: 01-08-2003
Rating: R for adult language
Email: e.large@talk21.com
Content: Cordy/Angel Cordy/Angelus. Angsty...ish, but not really.
Summary: Sequel to 'One hundred uncertain steps'
Spoilers: Nothing we haven't seen already. Seriously AU 3
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: You want it, you got it. But be a peach and let me know.
Notes: Tis the sequel to 'One hundred uncertain steps'
Feedback: If ya liked it let me know, if ya didn't....well nerr!
"We've been too happy, life has been too good. We never get happy and good. We get heartache and despair, I'm use to that, I can deal with that. I think I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop."
Cordelia 'One hundred uncertain steps'
***
There is something very graceful about Angel when he moves, when he fights it's like dancing.
Beautiful. Lithe. Silent. Deadly.
So many times I've watched as he slips through the night, his feet barely touching the ground in hungry pursuit of his redemption. He's a vampire, a warrior, a lethal stranger in the shadows holding your heart in his hands with vengeance in his haunted gaze.....and he's taking up the entire bed with his stupid fat undead butt!
"Angel...can you just...move over a little so I'm not hanging off the side here..."
"Sssh, go back to sleep sweetheart."
Back to sleep? I never actually got to sleep in the first place.
"So...how's the horrendously bloody gut wound feeling?"
"Ssshhh."
"I can't sleep."
"I figured that one out when you started pinching me."
I love that pissed off sleepy mutter of his.
"Well if you weren't such a solid lump in the middle of the bed and let me have just a little of the blanket I might stop with the...have you gone back to sleep? Angel? I know you're awake, you can't fool me that easily. C'mon broods, entertain me. Tell me one of your oh so interesting back in the day stories about the price of a good pint of ale, they usually bore me to sleep in no time. Angel? Love of my life, father of my child, vampire that rocks my world? Wake up!"
"I'll give you a hundred dollars if you be quiet and let me sleep."
"Pfft, not gonna..."
"One hundred dollars and the pair of shoes you were drooling over in that magazine the other day."
Oooh the Manolo Blahniks!
"Deal."
I guess it's just you and me then huh? And I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you about the little hiccup we had a while back. Of course when I say 'the little hiccup' I actually mean 'the angst filled day of hell and destruction'.
I know last time we spoke I said that Fred would let you in on the whole fiasco but once again the responsibility has fallen to my fine self, I lost the vote twice on that one which I'm not happy about but it kinda makes sense. I mean I was the only one that was there all the way through, it's my story to tell. Fred doesn't like to talk about it, Wesley gets really really angry, Lorne goes on a guilt trip that surpasses anything that my very own man of constant sorrow has ever embarked on, Gunn was somewhat unconscious and Angel...well Angel was absent for reasons that will very quickly become glaringly apparent.
All those months ago I had felt something bad coming, something that would leave us with bloody hands and shattered spirits. I had felt it but pushed it aside, let Angel calm my fears and basked in the warm glow of happiness.
I thought nothing could harm us.
I was so fucking wrong.
***
Blink and it's gone.
Cordelia switched on the bedside lamp and took a moment to let her eyes adjust to the sudden light. Her alarm clock blinked at her.
6:23 am.
"Too early." Cordelia groaned and swung her legs over the side of the bed. A wave of nausea the likes she hadn't felt since the first few months of being pregnant with Emily swam over her, she instinctively bent over and put her head between her knees. A stabbing pain erupted inside her skull blurring her vision and making the room spin on it's axis.
"Well this is worrying." She hissed and steadied herself with a hand on the bed. "Hey did we get really drunk last night or something?" Cordelia glanced over her shoulder and realised that he wasn't there. A cold empty space where her man should be.
"He picks the day I'm suddenly nausea girl to become an early riser."
Cordelia muttered as she shakily slipped on her robe and pushed down the bile that was rising in her throat.
"Need coffee." She grumbled as she walked with unsteady legs to the nursery. "Hey little Em, have you seen you're..."
Cordelia blinked at the empty cot. She felt a deep cold dread crawl its way up her spine, the seer tried to shake the feeling, telling herself that she was being ridiculous, Angel and Emily were probably in the lounge watching Barney.
Everything was fine.
Nothing to worry about.
Trailing her hand along the wall as she walked down the dim corridor Cordelia tried to remember the night before. She was pretty sure there'd been no random drinking binges. It was just an ordinary evening, vision, help the hopeless, bandaging of wounds, baby snuggles then eggs all round. Once the others had gone home Cordelia and Angel had fallen into bed a little after one exhausted. Definitely no tequila and yet the seer felt as though she'd just woken up after the kind of drinking spree that would impress Spike.
The bad feeling that had been creeping over her went into overdrive as she entered the dark lounge.
"Angel?" Cordelia called out into the still room. She switched on the overhead light to be sure. Silent TV, empty couch, open drapes.
Nothing.
There was something very wrong about this.
Cordelia was halfway down the stairs before she even realised she was moving. She stopped abruptly when her fingers slid through something sticky on the banister.
Blood.
Jerking her hand away she ran blindly down the last few steps, her crimson robe flapping madly around her legs. She didn't feel the broken glass on the floor biting into her naked feet. The front door hung heavily on weak hinges, swaying dangerously on the morning breeze. Silence mocked the destruction of their home. Furniture laid broken, filing cabinets plundered of their bounty, pictures of her family smashed under uncaring boots.
An empty yellow blanket lay amongst the devastation.
"Oh god no." Cordelia whispered desperately, she stumbled frantically across the lobby, leaving a trail of bloody footprints behind her. She rubbed the soft fabric between her trembling fingers, a thousand dreadful images swimming around her brain.
"Cordelia?" Lorne croaked hoarsely from behind her, she spun at his voice. The prescient demon stumbled forward from the office then dropped heavily to his knees. Broken and bruised, with blood on his silk pajamas he silently begged her for forgiveness.
"What happened...?" Her legs were lead, she couldn't move, barely breathing through the fear.
"I couldn't stop them.....I tried but, they just....." Lorne told the floor desperately, painful tears mixing with the blood on his face.
"Stop who?" Cordelia knelt in front of him, her hand anchored to his shoulder.
"I don't know, I..." He finally looked at her through swollen purple eyes, he choked on a sob that rumbled from his throat. "Oh God Cordy....I'm sorry."
"Where's my baby?" She sat up straight, fists clenched at her sides, fear sharpening her spine.
"I, I don't...." Lorne stuttered.
"Where's Emily? Where's my baby?" Cordelia shook his shoulder not caring what pain he was in. "WHERE'S MY BABY!!!?"
"They took her...I tried to stop them but I couldn't." He cried woefully.
"My baby...she's..... my baby girl?" She stumbled backwards in panic. "Emily... Lorne where's Angel? Dammit Lorne wake up!" She screamed at the half unconscious demon on the floor.
"He's gone."
"They took...?" Cordelia croaked.
"No...he's...he's gone. They did something to him, they stole his...he wasn't...him." Lorne tried to fight the fog that was taking over his brain but it was a battle he was quickly losing.
"Angelus?" Cordelia felt numb tears rolling down her face. Lorne nodded then slipped into the comforting darkness where he hadn't let down his friends, where things were peaceful and safe and Ella sang to him.
She scrambled backwards across the floor in shock, her robe tearing on the jagged pieces of her life that laid broken around her.
Gone. Her sweet baby girl was gone.
Angelus.
"No. That can't....No. NO! NO!!"
Very few of the early morning passers by that milled outside the Hyperion Hotel on their way to the office jobs, sipping coffee and talking on cell phones noticed the beautiful young woman in the red silk robe as she stumbled out of her home and onto the sidewalk, screaming at the sky with bleeding feet, vomiting on the ground until she had nothing left to lose.
***
It all happened so quickly, too quickly for me to think and make sense of things in my head. But that's the way it goes I suppose, no dusty prophecy biting at our heels, no apocalypse knocking at our door. No warning from the Powers that fucking be.
Just a bright sunny morning with birds in the sky, the scent of honeysuckle in the air and blood washing over the floor of our home.
***
"We found her outside like this." Fred whispered to Wesley, she wasn't sure why she was speaking so quietly, Cordelia certainly couldn't hear her.
"What the hell happened here?" Wesley asked in astonishment, the Englishman had stumbled into their worse nightmare minutes ago, words were almost beyond him. He stared into Cordelia's unblinking eyes looking for a clue.
"Armageddon by the looks of it. Gunn's taken Lorne upstairs, he's still unconscious, he was...in a bad way. I have no idea where Angel and Emily are Wes, they're just....gone." Fred's tear filled eyes begged him to make everything better. "None of this makes sense! Why would Angel leave with Em and not take Cordy with him?!"
"Maybe they had an argument?" Even as he said it he knew that could be the case, Angel would never do that to the woman he loved no matter what the fight was about. Wesley brushed Cordelia's messy hair away from her face. "Cordy? Cordy you need to snap out of this, you have to tell us what happened here."
"She's in shock, she didn't even flinch when I pulled the glass out of her feet. It's like she's just gone numb." Fred grasped the other woman's hand and pinched the soft flesh on her palm. Nothing.
"Lorne's still out of it." Gunn jogged down the staircase, careful to avoid the drying blood on the banister. "Whoever did this beat him pretty bad, if it were for him being a demon I doubt he'd still be alive right now."
"There's something very wrong here." Wesley stated the glaringly obvious.
"What are we going to do?" Fred asked him, scared out of her mind for her friends. "I don't even know where to....Angel!" She cried suddenly, she leapt out of her seat beside Cordelia and ran to the vampire that had emerged from the basement, enveloping him in a hug that made him stumble backwards.
"You're OK! Where have you been?" She asked him frantically, her small hands gripping on the sleeves of his leather jacket.
"Went for a walk." He extracted himself from the petite woman's grip.
"Where's Emily?" Wesley frowned noting his friends apparent disinterest at the destruction of his home and the catatonic state his girlfriend was in.
"She isn't here?" Angel sauntered across the lobby, kicking debris out of his path as he went.
"No." The Englishman felt his blood run cold.
"Angel something dreadful has happened, Lorne's been beaten up, Cordelia's in shock and Emily's missing!" Fred cried, she went to move towards him but was abruptly stopped by a strong hand on her shoulder.
No one had seen the life rush back into Cordelia's eyes at the sound of Angel's voice.
"Get away from him Fred." The Seer said without emotion, she kicked up a sword that laid at her feet and marched towards him.
"Cordy what are you....?" The Texan rushed to her side, Cordelia pushed her backwards making her fall heavily on her butt. "Wes?" Why was Wesley pointing a crossbow at his friends chest?
"Where is she Angelus?" Cordelia asked him calmly, her gaze never leaving his.
"Nice to see you too Cor." Angelus smirked, he ran his lecherous gaze up and down her barely clothed body, Fred had removed her ruined robe as soon as they had brought Cordelia into the Hotel and wrapped her in a blanket that had now slipped forgotten from her shoulders, leaving the Seer in a her underwear, chin raised in defiance with her lovers broadsword held securely in her hands. She was Cordelia Chase and Angelus had never seen anything so delicious. "Don't I get a kiss hello?"
"You move a muscle and I'll rip out your tongue and staple it to the floor." Cordelia threatened him, Angelus chuckled at her moxy.
"I don't understand...he's Angelus?" Fred said in confusion.
"You guys are in real trouble if she's meant to be the clever one." Angelus nodded his head towards the Texan still sitting on the floor, not taking his eyes away from the woman in front of him, a warrior in lilac lace. He ran his tongue across his teeth, itching with desire for blood he had tasted second hand through a soul. "So Cor..." He purred dangerously. "Did ya miss me?" Angelus took a step towards her, uncaring as the sword bit into the flesh of his neck.
"About as much as a girl misses syphilis." Cordelia growled and held on firmly to the weapon in her hands, fear making her braver than she actually was.
"Now is that anyway to talk to your husband to be? I'm hurt, truly." The vampire pouted theatrically.
"Where is my daughter?" Cordelia demanded again steadily, time slipping through her dirty hands.
"Don't you mean OUR daughter Cor?" Angelus wrapped a strand of her dark hair around his finger, something Angel had playfully done time and time again. Cordelia realised he was too near to her, dangerously close and yet it wasn't him she feared, her life would mean nothing if she didn't find her daughter. No terror could compare with that.
"Cordelia get away from him." Wesley warned her, his crossbow trained on the vampire.
"Hello Wes! Didn't notice you there, guess you get that a lot though dont'cha? I've gotta say I didn't expect you to stick around this long, correction, to be ALIVE this long. But I'm sure we can rectify that soon enough when I rip your heart out through your chest." Angelus smirked, eyes flashing yellow at the thought. It felt so good to be back.
"Hollow threats Angelus? How very you." The ex-watcher rolled his eyes and kicked an ax over to where Gunn stood, already loaded up with a crossbow.
"Quite a little family you've got here." Angelus gestured around the tense lobby, he saw Cordelia tense at the movement. "The soul must be all sorts of Brady bunch happy." His eyes drifted over to Gunn who stood still and determined. "Charles Gunn, haven't you figured out that you don't belong here yet? You don't fit and you know it. Twiggy on the floor there doesn't really want you, it's Angel she's wanted ever since she met him. She settled for a poor excuse for second best with you didn't she? How very sad." The vampire tutted with false sympathy.
"How do we shut this idiot up?" Charles Gunn snapped at no one particular.
"My sweet sweet Cordelia Chase." Angelus purred ignoring him and zeroed in on the Sunnydale head cheerleader that was trying her best to stay standing with weak knees. "When did you suddenly turn into a saint? Little girl playing dress up, that's what you are. You know this isn't going to last, you've got what, a year before those visions of yours blow the back of your head out? You know it, I know it, even the idiot soul knows it. And for what Cor? A mission that couldn't give a fuck about you and yours? Is that what you really want?" He tried to silent the buzzing in the back of his mind that made him want to take back the words he said but it was starting to get too loud, too insistent.
"WHERE...IS...MY...DAUGHTER?" Cordelia grunted through gritted teeth, shaken by the almost tender way Angelus was talking to her.
"Is anyone else getting bored with the broken record here or is it just me?" Angelus rolled his eyes and shut off his brain.
"Why don't you just answer the damn question?" Gunn approached him slowly, he didn't like how close Cordelia was to the demon they had all thought they would never see again.
"I think I'd much rather do this." Angelus moved so fast that the others barely saw it.
Cordelia's sword clattered uselessly to the floor as the vampire tugged her into his unyielding arms. His lips bruised hers, shattering the thousand tender kisses Angel and Cordelia had shared. She struggled against his sheer brutality, tears of loss running down her cheeks as she raked her nails down the side of his face. He jerked his head away, a dangerous look in his eyes.
"Kitten has claws." Angelus smirked but didn't let her go. "Usually it's Angel's back you're scratching at, but I guess we should get to know each other a little better before we get to that."
"Angelus, you really are the stupidest fucker I've ever met." Cordelia gasped for air and pushed him away. His response was cut wonderfully short by the steel chair that hit him across the back of the head until he fell to the floor unconscious. Fred threw the chair down somewhat in shock at what she'd done to the man that had saved her from hell.
"I'm getting rather good at sneaking up and whacking the bad guys aren't I?" Fred muttered quietly without humor, she was pretty certain she was going to either throw up or faint. It was a toss up between the two. "Do you think Angel will be mad that I knocked him out?" She asked Wesley nervously, he like Gunn had watched the entire scene play out before him, impotent with shock to do anything.
"That's not Angel, Fred. Angel's gone." Cordelia said coldly, the words felt bitter in her mouth, a taste she feared would never leave her. The young woman straightened her shoulders. There was work to be done.
***
Nine am and counting.
"Nothing? How can there be nothing? Look again!" Cordelia shouted at Wesley as she paced the lobby floor.
"Cordelia the security cameras were all turned off at four am, there's no footage of whoever took Em, no matter how many times I look at the bloody tapes I'm not going to find anything!" Wesley barked back at her. Tempers were running short.
"Cordy you should sit down, the cuts on your feet won't heal...." Fred spoke up timidly from the furthest corner away from everyone, she felt the strong desire to hide underneath a table and never come out.
"I can't fucking well sit down! I have to find my baby girl!!" The Seer snapped angrily. It was nine am, still early but with every passing minute Cordelia felt as though her daughter was getting further and further away from her. She dragged her hands through her messy hair, she had to do something, had to move, find the people responsible and slowly shred their skin from their bones.
"As entertaining as this is...." Angelus said from where he was chained to a chair. ".....I'm starting to get bored."
"Shut up." Cordelia muttered barely glancing at him.
"Not really feeling the love right now Cor." He said casually tugging on the chains that bound him but it was no use, the held fast.
"Do you want to be unconscious again?" Gunn raised the baseball bat threateningly.
"Try it and I'll break every bone in your body when I'm free." Angelus glared at the young black man.
"Now you see that's where you're wrong, cos there's no way in hell you're getting out of those chains." Gunn swung the bat around a few times making sure the vampire got the idea.
"Oh for heavens sake, I'm going to see if Lorne's awake yet, maybe he knows something." Wesley muttered and stalked upstairs, he couldn't think with so much yammering and he feared time was running out.
Cordelia slowly advanced on the demon they all had nightmares about at one time or another, still the young woman wasn't afraid of him like she use to be, she was too busy being terrified of what might be happening to her child to give a damn about the psychopath that had taken over Angel's body.
"Why are you here?" Cordelia frowned at Angelus, she poked the sword she was holding against his chest. They weren't taking any chances.
"Who could resist such delicious company?" Angelus purred, Cordelia ignored the suggestive way he licked his lips and ran his eyes up and down her body, at least she was dressed this time. "Why don't you come sit on my lap Cor and let me have a taste."
"Pfft, like I'm that stupid, I'm not Buffy Angelus, I will kill you in a heartbeat if I find out you have anything to do with my daughter being taken away. You harm any of my people and I'll kill you. You even look at Fred like she's food one more time and I'll cut off your head."
"You really think you can kill the father of you're child, the man you're going to marry? You haven't got the balls woman."
"You wanna find out?" Cordelia raised the sword to Angelus' throat, her heart numb and her eyes vacant. "I suggest you start talking right the hell now."
"And what do I get in return?" Angelus purred suggestively at her, gritting his teeth when the persistent buzzing went up a notch.
"How about full use of all you appendages." She scowled and dragged the sword down to his groin. "You say you have know idea what happened with Emily but I know your lying. There's a reason you're here, a reason you didn't slaughter me in my sleep this morning. You're acting very un-Angelusy so STOP FUCKING AROUND AND TELL ME!"
Even the scourge of Europe grimaced at the sound of Cordelia's booming voice. The insistent buzz, that was starting to sound more like a whine, turned up a notch in his head making his teeth buzz and his eye twitch. Angelus shook his head trying to silent it, the urge to bang his head against the nearest wall was overpowering.
"OK, what's he doing now?" Gunn picked up his discarded crossbow and aimed it at the vampire that was muttering nonsensically under his breath.
"Hey." Cordelia clapped her hands in front of Angelus' face to gain his attention. "What's with the crazy?"
"He's still here, won't be quiet." Angelus groaned, it surprised them all that he actually sounded like he was in pain.
"What?" Cordelia's patience was walking a very shaky tightrope and she didn't have time to play the vampires games.
"The fucking soul!"
"Angel, he's still....you mean he hasn't...." Fred rushed over to them, a small bubble of hope bobbing in her chest.
"Would it kill you to actually finish a sentence?" The vampire snapped at the little Texan, he took pleasure in the wave of hurt that washed over her face.
"Who's behind all this." Cordelia forced herself to ignore the revelation that Angel *might* still be close by and focused on the matter in hand. Emily.
"Why should I tell you white hats? I might have soul boy whispering my ear but I sure as hell don't have to listen to him."
"Because...." Cordelia fingered the small white scar marring the smooth plane of her skin, a reminder of a night long ago. "....this is family business."
Angelus' eyes narrowed at her admission, he wondered if she realised what she was saying.
"Who's been making your pathetic lives even more of a misery ever since you stumbled into LA?" Angelus said with a sigh, he couldn't believe he was doing this. "Who has the money, man power and brains to drug you, rip out Angel's soul and kidnap his baby without leaving a trace of evidence? Do you need me to spell it out for you? Tall, leggy lawyer type?" Angelus rolled his eyes, was he actually helping these humans? He should have been feasting on their insides, bathing in their blood, dancing a merry jig on their graves. Yet he wasn't, he was helping them. "Fucking soul residue." Angelus muttered bitterly.
"Wolfram and fucking Hart." Cordelia ground out bitterly. "Lilah has just signed her death warrant."
"Are we believing the homicidal psychopath now, cos last time I checked they're not usually the most reliable members of society." Gunn said in disbelief.
"Right now it's all we've got. I'm going to get my daughter back." Cordelia shrugged on her leather jacket.
"What are you going to do? Charge in there and just glare at them until they give you Em back." The young black man tried to reason with his friend. "We need a plan."
"I have a plan. I find Lilah, kill Lilah and bring our girl home." She stuck a small knife into her belt.
"That would be from the Angel school of planning." Gunn grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Let me go. This is my fight Gunn. My daughter, my vampire. I won't have you stopping me from doing what needs to be done." She jerked out of his grasp.
"Maybe the powers..." Fred started weakly.
"Damn the PTB! Where were they when Angels daughter, their fucking champions daughter was stolen by the enemy! Sitting keeping the balance? Fuck that. Is this what we have to give up for the mission? If it is then that's it, I quit. I'm through with the fucking powers that be and their damn mission if they can't even look after their own."
"You don't mean that." Fred frowned. "We help the hopeless, people need us..."
"We are the hopeless Fred, who the hell is helping us?" Cordelia said with bleak resignation.
"There is no way you're going on your own." Gunn brought that back to the issue at hand.
"I'm not. He's coming with me." Cordelia nodded towards Angelus who was watching the scene with boredom.
"Have you lost your mind?" Gunn bellowed at her.
"Maybe." She shrugged. "But he's the only one with enough brute force to help me do what I need to do."
"You undo those chains and we're as good as dead." Gunn was desperate to get the little rugrat back as much as anyone but he knew a suicidal plan when he saw it.
"If he was going to kill us we would have been dead a long time ago." Cordelia fingered the small padlock key, wondering herself if she had completely lost all common sense.
"What exactly makes you think I'm going to help you cheerleader?" Angelus asked her intrigued.
"Because...it's not only Angel that I love." She said quietly, almost afraid to say it out loud. "I know you won't hurt me Angelus because it's not just Angel that talks to me, laughs with me, makes love to me. You were always there no matter how much Angel tried to pretend you weren't. I know that." Cordelia took a deep breath and stared the vampire in the eye. "You'll help me because Emily is your daughter too and I know for a fact that Angelus looks after his own."
"Pfft, I don't....." The high pitched whine turned up another level, it felt like his brain was going to dribble out of his ears. "Fine! I'll help, I'll save the day and win the hearts of the towns folk, anything to shut it up." At his acquiescence the buzz shifted to a low hum, Angelus let out a unneeded sigh of relief.
"I can't let you do this Cordelia." Gunn frowned and stepped in between her and the vampire.
"I know Charles." Cordelia said with a sad smile. "That's why I have to do this." She raised the tranquilizer gun they had kept on the desk in case Angelus got out of control and with a surprisingly steady hand fired a dart into her friends thigh.
"What the fuck..." He groaned before he tumbled to the floor and fell into a very deep sleep. Cordelia turned to Fred and her heart broke at the way her friend was backing away from her in fear, her eyes full of tearful questions.
"He'll have a headache when he wakes up, look after him and tell him .....tell him I'm sorry."
"Don't do this Cordelia...." Fred whispered as she watched her bend down and unlock the chains that held tight the most feared vampire in the world.
***
OK, so I wasn't thinking straight.
I trusted Angelus. Willingly went off alone with him. I had no idea if I were walking to my death or worse but I honestly didn't care.
I had to find Emily and god help anyone foolish enough to get in my way.
Continue on...