Title: The Aftermath
Author: ChipmunkRobot101
Posted: 11-23-2002
Rating: R
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Content: C/A, F/G, F/W, and Fr/W. C/W, A/W, F/C, Fr/C, G/C, G/W, G/A, A/Fr, A/F friendships.
Summary: Have five friends drifted so far apart there isn’t any hope for a future?
Spoilers: Basically the Aftermath of Angelus arc
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Nothing Fancy, and where ever else you want to take it.
Notes: Connor isn’t in this story. (Wow great surprise), Faith is in the first chapter, but does leave. Lilah is mentioned, and so is Gwen, but they do not appear. There may be a few flashbacks, which will be indicated by italics. Thoughts are indicated by *thought*.
The first chapter is called: The Calm After the Storm…. Ha! Calm?, the second chapter is called The Pylean Refugee Speaks, the third chapter is called What’s Up Charlie?, the fourth chapter is called A Watcher’s Diary Unlocked, the fifth chapter is called With These Eyes…I’ll Tell You What I See, the sixth chapter is titled Finally, The Vampire Lets It Out!, and the final chapter will be titled This Is Where We Are Now…So Where Do We Go?…I know they aren’t great, but I’m down so I have the excuse.
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Part 1: The Calm After the Storm...HA Calm?
They entered the hotel separately Faith and Fred supporting Cordelia on their shoulders before they got to the couch where they helped her sit down before taking seats besides her. Gunn came in and went straight to the kitchen while Wesley just went to the office. Angel came in last bruised and slightly beaten not looking like himself in Angelus’s trademark leather pants and a silk shirt. His eyes meant with Cordelia’s for a moment before she looked away. He cast his gaze downwards before heading to his suite. *What happens now?* Angel questioned himself. He remembered what had happened when his soul had been restored in Sunnydale. If he went back to the exact moment he got a gut full a sword blade then a first class trip to hell. *But when I really came back* he thought again about how he hadn’t remembered anything besides Buffy *And the need to kill, but that was besides the point* Cordelia hadn’t been ready to just take him into her arms and calm all his fears, but who could blame her, she wasn’t hiding how she felt he wouldn’t have found out later, but what had happened well he could understand her not being ready. *Then again Buffy never really calmed my fears*
* * *
As far as exhaustion went Cordelia felt like sleeping for a decade. The past few weeks had been a torture in there own right. *If it wasn’t hard enough dealing with Angelus then us being at each other’s throats every other minute didn’t help.* Cordelia thought heading to her bedroom. She stopped at Angel’s door. She really wanted to just go in there and move forward as if nothing had happened, but she couldn’t she wasn’t ready to go in there yet. So she continued walking to her own bedroom and closed the door behind her. *A bath should help, calm my nerves* she thought as she slipped out of her clothes slowly wincing when the fabric brushed a wound to roughly. She knew she was going to be all shades of purple and blue in the morning, but she figured being alive was a fair trade off. She turned on the hot water and began to fill the tub. She poured a cap full of lavender bubble bath into the tub and eased in. *Now I can relax* she thought closing her eyes.
Knock. Knock. *Of course, there is no relaxing. There’s still that impending apocalypse to worry about. Oh yeah and the fact that my life sucks*
She stepped back out of the tub and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself. She quickly made her way across the cold floor little pools of water sitting where her feet had tread. She opened the door slightly to see Gunn. “Hey?” she asked more then stated.
“We were going to order some food. You know rough night, we were wondering if you wanted anything.” He said unusually somber.
“No, I’m okay.” She said lightly.
“That’s good. You should really have someone look at that neck wound it looks okay now, but in the morning well from what I’ve heard waking up dead isn’t a great thing.” He said a poor attempt at a joke.
“I’ll manage,” she said before closing the door. “Just need to relax.”
* * *
Wesley sat in the office looking over the rest of the files they had recovered earlier that week. None of the information about the Beast seemed to connect back to the Beast. Wesley had enough to connect the Beast to Angel, Connor, Cordelia, himself, hell if he tried hard enough he may be able to add the president and his brother to the list, but none of the strings seemed to lead back to the Beast.
“Hey, Wes. The food’s here.” Faith said from the doorway.
“I’m not hungry.”
*Did she really just *tsk* at me* Wesley thought as she put a container down infront of him. “What exactly did you guys order?”
“Italian.”
“Oh.”
They sat in silence for the next thirty minutes. Wesley going from eating to researching, to pretending he didn’t know Faith was watching him eating again.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” he questioned.
Faith thought about trying to cover her motives, but deciding against. There had been enough waiting in the bullshit for this group it was time someone cut through it. “About what the hell is going on with you.”
“What’s going on with me is,” Wesley was about to answer when Faith cut him off.
“If the next word out of your mouth is throat slit and the staying alive, but my friends abandoned me you can save it. I’m asking you now what’s with this ‘I don’t need anyone, I’m bad baby’ thing you’ve got going.”
*Pot calling the kettle black* Wesley thought to himself. He wanted to explain to put it out there, but he wasn’t going to. They didn’t want to hear and he had stopped wanting to tell his story his side of things. It didn’t matter anymore. “It doesn’t matter…could you leave now, I find it easier to concentrate when I’m alone.”
“Yeah we saw how well that worked for you before.” Faith snarked as she stood up.
“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” Wesley questioned his voice taking on an agitated tone at her lack of guile.
Faith ignored his tone and went on. “All I know is that you have this family. That despite the first impressions of an outsider love you. I’ve never had anything like that. My first watcher I couldn’t save, my next well he plaid favorites, rightfully of course, and you well you keep saving me. Just thought I’d return the favor.”
“I don’t need any favors.”
“Keep telling yourself that. While I’ll tell you what I see. What I see is you Wesley, holding back waiting for them to go first. To take that first step towards all that Tuesdays With Morrie book club of the month stuff. All I’m saying is that one of you need to do it before one of you stop caring.”
“We’ve already stopped caring.”
Faith chuckled lightly in the doorway of the office. Her back was to him, but he could just imagine the smile on her face. “You just keep telling yourself that.” She said before she left and headed for the steps.
Wesley watched her for a second before opening another book. *She had no idea what she was talking about…. did she?*
* * *
Gunn watched as Fred headed up the steps, and then he proceeded to turn off the lights in the office before checking on Wesley.
“You gonna be all right?” he questioned from the doorway.
Wesley looked up and took off his glasses before putting them back on. “I’m fine.” He said before resuming his reading.
*Wonder what he’s reading* Gunn thought as he entered the office. Wesley noticeably tensed at his presence so Gunn decided to leave. He turned back around and was half way out the door when Wesley spoke, “Are you alright?” he questioned.
“Yeah, I’m good. Next time I’ll try to avoid the stopping of trucks with my bodies, but this instance I could resist.” Wesley just gave him a peculiar stare before resuming his reading.
*No one has a sense of humor today? That must be it.*
He quickly headed upstairs and passed Cordelia in the hallway. “Hey, Barbie.” He said quietly. You would have thought he just shown her Bridges of Madison County the reflective expression her face took. She whispered a brief hello before heading downstairs. He was half way into dream world before he came upon a realization. *I haven’t called her that in two years* albeit a stupid reason for her to be happy, but after everything that had happened he could understand.
* * *
Wesley looked up as Cordelia entered the office, she didn’t say anything. Just came in with a blanket and a cup of tea and sat in the chair opposite of his and started to look at a book. *Is she reaching out or is she just bored?* he asked himself.
“Just thought you’d like some help, you’re not the only smart you know.” She said dryly.
He nodded yes and went back to his book.
He woke up a few hours later, long enough to see Angel take the cup from a quiescent Cordelia and adjust her blanket. Their eyes met for a moment, but Wesley just closed his eyes again and let Angel leave. He wasn’t ready yet.
* * *
Cordelia woke up to find the office empty. Her favorite cup sat on the table and the blanket seemed to be binding her to the chair. She shimmied a bit and pushed it off.
She headed into the lobby and saw that everyone else seemed to be up…to see Faith off?
“Where you going?” she questioned as she walked over to where everyone stood awkwardly.
“Sunnydale, see how things are down there. Atone and all that good stuff.” Faith replied.
Cordelia shrugged her shoulders in mock stupidity.
“Just see if I can at least say sorry. You know to everyone.”
“I’m going to have to see if I can do that one day…in the far off future, but one day. I think it can wait for now.” Cordelia responded before Faith hugged her awkwardly. “Faith, if you don’t let go of me I swear, on”
“Shush, I just want to say thank you for everything. You’re a friend and as one friend to another I’d like to say two things. Fix whatever is wrong with this group of yours and if this conversation goes further than the two of us and Angel’s obvious vamp hearing I’ll kick your ass and make you watch.”
“That sure is violent.” Cordelia said quirking an eyebrow at her. “Be careful stuff’s going on that isn’t safe and you may need to help. I just have a bad feeling about this trip. Then again it’s Sunnydale, whatever it is you’ll survive it.”
“For a second there I actually thought you were concerned.” Faith said as she picked up her duffel bag.
“Same here.” Cordelia said. “But really…be careful.” Faith nodded yes, before exiting the hotel.
* * *
Fred knew things weren’t perfect, but if anything they were getting better. They had been in the same room with each other for most of the morning and not one drop of blood had been spilt. *If Connor had been here now that wouldn’t have been the same situation* she knew it wasn’t nice to like that the fact that he wasn’t around, but she wasn’t the one who told him to just go and get lost. For what ever reason Connor had listened to Faith Fred didn’t know, but it had eased the tension.
Angel had seemed to want to not be talked to. He wasn’t shying away from the group, but they weren’t taking the bull by the horns either. *Though why any sane person wanted to grab a bull by the horns when it so obviously wanted to be left alone was something she didn’t get. Like that saying about ‘sore thumbs’ sticking out. Weird*
Cordelia had taken residency in the office since basically she had taken the role of boss after during the major events, and there she stood in the doorway looking like she was about to say something. *Wonder what this is about* Fred thought not really caring.
“I need to talk to you all. Right now.” Cordelia said and then without a word of explanation she headed back into the office and waited. Gunn was the first to go then Angel and Wesley. Fred realized that Cordelia was being serious and stepped in last.
“So you needed to talk to us?” Wesley said sitting down.
“Yeah.”
“About.”
“About us.” Cordelia said matter-of-factly.
*Since when did she and Wesley become an ‘US’* were the thoughts of Gunn, Fred, and Angel.
“All of us and what’s been going on for awhile now.” Cordelia continued. “We need to talk. We need to put it all out there. So we can at least try to get back to before or at least something new.”
“There is nothing to put out there. I have nothing that needs to be put out there we have nothing that needs to be put out. Maybe you do.” Fred said dourly.
“No, Fred. We all do. Angelus put it all out there and if we just leave it up in the air well I’d rather be facing the apocalypse with the Scoobies then right here if we don’t deal.” Cordelia said stridently.
Angel flinched slightly at the use of his name. Cordelia didn’t notice and if she did she didn’t show it.
“I don’t think anything needs to be said.” Wesley said standing up.
“Sit.” Cordelia demanded.
Wesley didn’t pay attention.
“Sit down, now.” Cordelia said again.
Whether Wesley just decided to oblige to Cordelia or was really worried about what her tone applied stumped Fred as Wesley sat down.
“We’re going to talk, we’re going to get this all out there. Because if we don’t do it now…soon enough we won’t care, and I’m sick of pretending like I don’t care.”
The room was silent for a few minutes before Fred spoke up. “Fine if we’re going to talk, let’s talk. Let’s as Cordelia put it, bring out here.”
Everyone looked at Fred expectantly and she realized they were waiting for her to go on. “Okay by the process of divine elimination, I’ll go first.”
Part 2: The Pylean Refugee Speaks
Fred stretched a little before sitting down next to Gunn. “Where do I begin?” Fred questioned out loud shrugging her shoulders lightly.
“I guess we’ve been, at least in my opinion since the whole Billy incident.” Her and Wesley shared a look before she continued. “Everything seemed to unravel from there, and then get progressively worse. First Darla, then Connor, Cordelia becoming part demon. At the time it everything seemed to be going okay, like nothing would go wrong.”
She paused slightly, her face taking on a desolate expression. “This is the part where like clockwork everything goes wrong. First the ballet and Groo came back. Then Cordelia left and Connor.”
“What does Groo, have to do with this?” Gunn questioned.
“If he hadn’t have come Cordelia would’ve never left. She would have noticed something was wrong with Wesley, but no she went away, for what well I’m not really sure I get her reasons. All I know is that everything started to go wrong when she left.”
The room was silent for a moment before Cordelia spoke. “Maybe you guys should’ve noticed too, you’re his friends too right. I’m not the only one here, it wasn’t as if he was hiding behind a bright smile.”
“Well I’m not really sure about that, Cordelia because if anyone knows how to hide behind a bright smile it’s you.” Wesley scoffed.
“What’s that’s supposed to mean?”
“It’s supposed to mean that you put up this veneer of ‘truth and friendship’ yet you couldn’t you wouldn’t even tell us you were,” Fred came to a pause. “Never mind.”
“Don’t never mind, Fred, there is no never mind, you started this finish whatever it is you have to say.” Cordelia said harshly.
The room was silent for several long moments before Fred shook her head angrily. “You were dying and you weren’t even going to bother to fill us in. What exactly was supposed to happen Cordelia? You were supposed to get a vision one day and we look up ‘Oh half of Cordelia’s brain is on the wall, wonder if she can still tell us where the danger is?’ You didn’t say anything and you were just expecting us to go on with out anything, you’re the heart, I’m not strong enough to handle any of this I’m not a survivor.” Fred said she was on the verge of tears now and no one knew exactly what to do.
“You are to a survivor. Okay, you survived five years in a hell dimension; I could’ve never done that. I would have talked too much or tried to take the collar off and ended dead. You guys don’t need me to go on or to work well, you’re strong.” Cordelia said quietly.
Fred looked at Cordelia a second before deciding to move forward with her feelings. “After, Wesley stole Connor nothing was the same. I’m apologizing before hand to you Angel, but I don’t like your kid, and whatever he is it isn’t good. I blame him in a way. It’s wrong yes, but all I can say is that are problems seem to revolve around him and everything we’ve tried to do for him and what we get in return. You tried to kill Wesley, which really just severed everything between you two. Cordelia came back and everything was really beyond repair. She never even visited Wesley never to even see how he was, never to here his side.”
Wesley grimaced angrily, “She may not have visited me, but at least she didn’t give me the encouragement speech from hell.” He snapped.
“You want to blame me?” Cordelia said, it was more of a statement then a question.
Everyone looked at her shocked at her statement then they looked at Fred.
“No, but I think you’re at fault for some of It.” She said softly.
“Yeah, that the easy way to do it, maybe this sharing is caring idea was a bit too soon.” Cordelia said standing up. She started out of the office before Angel stopped her.
“You said we all needed to talk, so we’re going to, that also means we need to listen. You said it yourself we may not like what we here, but we have to here it anyway, that the only way that we’re going to fix any of this.” He said calmly.
“You’re right.” She said slowly before sitting down again.
TBC