Title: City of Angels
Author: CAMartin
Posted: 11-14-2003
Email: munkieluvr7@comcast.net
Rating: PG
Category: Angst, Drama
Content: C/A friendship
Summary: Cordelia's keeping a secret from Angel, and it's killing him.
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Anywhere, just tell me.
Notes: This is merely a fic as a premise to my sequel where there is some actual C/A romance, so don't expect any kissies.
Feedback: Love it, send some.
Thanks/Dedication:Part 1
Angel sighed, sitting on the bench next to Cordelia's desk. He looked down at his lap as he played with his hands. "What are you up to?" He was bored. He knew it. Cordelia was the only one there and he needed something to do.
"Me? I'm doing what my boss pays me to do," Cordelia explained sarcastically.
Angel looked up. "Cordelia, you're not doing anything."
"And you're not paying me," Cordelia added, finally looking up. "Let's be even and call it a day."
Angel couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't the humor of Cordelia that was causing him to chuckle; it was the fact that she forced him to feel good. "It's been a slow week."
"Slow month," Cordelia put in, walking over to the filing
cabinet. She forced a smile, spitting out a sarcastic remark. "But hey, everything will be alright, Wesley will be back from England and he's bringing Word Puzzles!"
Angel shook his head. "Wesley called and said his flight was delayed."
Cordelia held back the impulse to jump for joy. But then she
saw Angel and realized her reaction. "It's not that I don't like him, it's just it all becomes a little too much."
"I know Wes is a little pain in the ass sometimes, but come on, I'm sure you annoy him too."
Cordelia dismissed his comment, walking over to her desk and slipping on her coat. "I think I should start going." She was hiding something, it was written all over her face. It was a funny contrast to the normally tactless girl she usually was.
Angel grabbed her arm as she was on her way to the door. He forced a comforting smile. Attempting, unsuccessfully, to hide his concern, Angel asked. "What are you planning for tonight?"
Cordelia's eyebrows shot up, "You'd like to know?" They both shared a long, tension-filled silence.
Angel shook his head, "No, I was just wondering, but hey, you're probably running a little late--you should go."
Cordelia shook it off casually, "You can always count on you to be all mysterious."
Angel turned to his office, "You should get going, and hanging around here will do you no good."
Cordelia laughed, "Like your broodiness could ever rub off on me." She seemed distracted. Whatever it was, she was different. "I just have plans I cant get out of, that's all."
"Is there anything I can do?" Angel offered, his back still facing her. He didn't know what to say to her. He was bored, and wanted something to do. But he didn't want to keep her. He hated being torn.
"No," Cordelia answered, a little too quickly. "I just---I ---it's all---everything's so---" "I know the feeling," Angel mumbled as he walked to her desk, intending to tidy it up a bit. Cordelia tilted her head as she watched Angel absently mess with objects on the desk
Angel was bored and wanted to be distracted. Cordelia's mood could be a distraction. "What's bothering you?" There was something in his voice when he said it. Did he need to know what was wrong? No. Did he want to? Yes. And he didn't know why.
Cordelia looked at him, "No."
"Then why are you acting differently?"
Cordelia averted her eyes, "What do you mean?"
"You're different," Angel croaked. His voice was rough from
it being so dry. He was nervous, yet he didn't know why. The feeling was new to him, yet slightly familiar. "It's been a few weeks, even months since Doyle-"
Cordelia turned to him, "It's not that." She sighed, falling into her chair lazily. She avoided his eyes again. Why? He didn't know. What surprised him was that he wanted to. "A lot is happening in my life, I'm just a little worried."
"Worried about what?" Angel asked, pulling a chair up in front of her desk. He looked into her eyes, trying to find out what she was thinking.
"You," Cordelia finally blurted out.
"Me?" Angel coughed, extremely taken aback by the fact that she was worried about HIM. "Why me?"
"Like I said, it's not about Doyle, but ever since he died, we haven't talked much," Cordelia murmured, she seemed almost ashamed that she was so worried. "I know what you're thinking, it doesn't sound like something I would care about, but let's face it, my social life isn't as active as it has been."
Angel was surprised that he was smiling. Such a natural, yet foreign, thing to do for him.
"And that wasn't it either," Cordelia continued, but cut herself short. She gave him a hard look, trying to fight to the temptation to break down and explain everything. She succeeded. With a forced grin, Cordelia, as politely as possible, dismissed herself. "I'll see you in the morning."
Angel turned and walked into his office. And was shocked to find a sense of disappointment resonating inside of him as he heard the door shut behind him.
He was alone. In the dark.
"Did you have fun last night?" Angel asked, as he crept out of his office. He saw Cordelia slightly jump in her chair, but she all she did was nod and mumble: "As much fun as you can in this city."
Angel sat in the chair in front of her desk, "So---you working?"
"Am I getting paid?"
Angel grinned, "I can't guarantee it."
They both shared a much-needed chuckle. But Cordelia's seemed strained.
Angel squinted his eyes as he scrutinized her. He didn't even care if he had work to do, he wanted to know. "Corde-"
Cordelia cut him off abruptly, "Look, we need to get our resources worked out so we have some work lined up. And we're not going to do it if we sit here and chit-chat."
She was hiding something, Angel thought to himself. He knew it. Hell, their mailman would know it. But what she was actually hiding was the mystery. Angel let it go for the moment. He would find out sooner or later. Better to be sooner.
Part 2
"Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless," Cordelia chimed in a halfheartedly. She rolled her eyes as she heard the expected
response:
"Sorry, wrong number."
Slamming the phone on the jack, Cordelia growled to herself. The pointless job of answering phones was enough to drive anyone crazy.
And she was willing to admit it to herself. She felt useless.
The room seemed empty around her. The boring paint and dull cabinets barely passed as objects. Something needed to be done. But
she could only guess the response of Angel.
With a scoff, she grabbed her sunglasses and coat; moving towards the exit.
"Where are you going?" A husky voice called from the doorway behind her. It was Angel.
Cordelia stopped, not turning to regard him. Only a simple explanation was said before she slammed the door behind her. "I need a
drink."
"Are you sure you haven't seen her?" Angel reiterated to Susan, one of Cordelia's friends in Los Angeles. "She said she's been going
out with you guys the past few nights, how could you have-" Susan cut him off abruptly, obviously not caring much. "You haven't seen her in a few
weeks? Okay, thanks for your time." And with that, he hung up.
Barely controlling himself from screaming at the top of his lungs, Angel exhaled and inhaled as calmly as he could as he tried to figure out
what was going on. He hated not knowing. It was like being stabbed in the heart a thousand times, and repeating the process over and
over. He no longer wondered why it hurt him so much not to know; it was simply that Angel was not built that way. He wasn't built as a certain
kind of person who can deal with not knowing everything---he needed to know. It wasn't just because it was Cordelia, it was because he needed
to know.
Suddenly, Angel heard footsteps above him-Cordelia's back. He raced upstairs as he prepared to act as carelessly as possible. He
opened the door quietly and edged inside. "Cordelia?"
He heard a scoff before her response, "Yeah?" It was apparent she was not in a good mood. Angel cleared his throat, preparing to jump into the threshold. "So, who'd you have lunch with?"
Cordelia paused, the hat she was wearing was fairly large and was covering her, she cleared her throat before she replied in a not-so
casual tone. "Susan and Terry."
"Really?" Angel asked, his eyebrows raising. "I just got off the phone with Susan."
Cordelia turned away from him, "So?"
"So, why are you lying?" Angel asked bluntly, tired of the mind games. "Just tell me, that's all I ask."
"Since when do you care?" Cordelia spat, adjusting her hat a little bit. "Look, I have a life outside this office and that's what I'm hiding
from you."
Angel was speechless, he gave her a look before closing the door behind him.
Cordelia slammed her fist on the desk. "Don't you get it? I have to hide my life from you! Doesn't that bother you?"
Angel slammed open the door, "What the hell do you think, I've been calling all of your friends, I cant even sleep at night because I want to
know what you're doing, and where you are! I've never had a friend like you before, and let's face it..i suck at being a friend."
Cordelia sighed, "Well, let's face it, I'm just as bad at it as you are."
"Then why wont you tell me where you go?" Angel pleaded, stepping closer.
"Because I----I just can't."
Angel grabbed her hand. "You can tell me."
Cordelia avoided his stare, her eyes watering. "This is one of those things that I can't tell you."
Angel shook his head, "I want to be a good friend, and I wont be if I don't help you." He needed to look into her eyes, so he slipped off her
hat and revealed a black eye. "What the?"
"Vampire," Cordelia replied, a little too quickly. "But I got away."
Angel looked at her carefully, "A vampire gave you a black eye? I guess he was trying to knock you out."
"Exactly," Cordelia exclaimed. "See, there's nothing to worry about."
"I'm almost done, can you just wait a minute?" Cordelia whined as she put the files on her desk away.
"Sure,"
Angel followed the voices into the office, he saw a tall, muscular man standing in the middle of the room, tapping his foot impatiently.
"Um, hello."
"Hi," The man said, smiling politely.
Angel held back a smile as the man held out his hand, he didn't hold out his hand to shake his. The man pulled it back slowly. "Who are
you?"
"You've got to excuse my boss," Cordelia put in, walking in between the two. "He doesn't do well socially."
"Well, my name is Stuart, you can call me Stu if you like."
"So, Stuart," Angel put in. "You and Cordelia a couple?"
"Yes," the man strained, not taking his eyes off of Angel. "Do you have a problem with that?"
"Stu," Cordelia whispered, pulling him away from Angel. "We should get going."
"Did you happen to notice Cordelia's black eye?" Angel asked. "I was just wondering if you were concerned at all."
"Yes, I noticed it," Stuart growled. His eyes glinted with danger. "She fell on a curb one night."
"You were there?" Angel asked curiously, glancing at Cordelia and Stuart suspiciously.
Stuart cleared his throat, "We should really get going, the movie starts soon."
Cordelia nodded and said goodbye before she and Stuart exited the room.
Angel shook his head. Something wasn't right.
"What's this?" Angel asked, grabbing her wrist.
Cordelia winced, "Not so hard. I was at the gym and I dropped a weight."
"Simple as that, right?" Angel rolled his eyes, it was getting easier for him to tell when she was lying.
"I guess so," Cordelia answered, avoiding the conversation. "We have a client."
Angel ignored it, "There's something you're not telling me."
"There's a lot we're not telling each other."
"Like what?" Angel asked, a little lost.
"Why didn't you tell me you were human for a day, and you gave that up?" Cordelia blurted out.
Angel was caught off guard. "How did you know that?"
"Doyle told me," Cordelia explained, looking around the office for something to distract her. This was one conversation she did not want
to have. "That's the difference between you two, besides that fact that he didn't tell me he was a demon, he was more honest than you." After
that, the two were engulfed in a long, tension-filled silence. "I'm just glad our manifesto isn't Honesty or Trustworthy."
Angel shook his head, holding back a growl. "Look, that day was something I don't feel like remembering, I wouldn't want to bore you."
Cordelia couldn't help but laugh as he scratched his head in confusion. "I don't know what to talk about around you anymore."
"Anymore?" Cordelia spat. She shook her head in frustration, "Do dead people have any brain cells, or what? Like you ever knew what to
talk to me about! A year ago we weren't even on speaking terms."
The two just turned their backs to each other. Cordelia just wanted to go, her last place as refuge no longer existed. "You know what?"
"What?" Angel growled.
"I think maybe I should do something different," Cordelia went on, turning to Angel, who in turn, turned to face her. "I quit."
TBC