Title: Y'all say cheese!
Author: blackonyx
Posted: 07-05-2002
Rating:
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Content:
Summary:
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes:
Cordelia and Fred walked into the Hyperion with bags and bags of clothes.
Angel turned towards the two laughing girls.
"Where have you guys been? And what's so funny?" He asked curiously.
"Well, if you MUST know, Fred and I have dates tonight." Cordelia answered with a smug smile.
Angel's ears quickly perked up at the mention of the word," dates".
He quickly walked towards the two brunettes.
"There's no way I'm letting you go out on a date! "Angel declared angrily.
"Are you kidding me? Since when are YOU the boss of ME?" Cordelia said incredulously.
Angel shrank back instantly.
"Its just that, well, Fred hasn't been in this dimension very long, and well. She hasn't dated that much, and well, someone might try to take advantage of her." He answered quickly.
Fred blushed." You don't have to worry about me Angel, Ah always carry protection."
Wesley turned to face the seemingly innocent girl before him.
"Winifred Burkle! You carry condoms in your purse?!"
Cordelia laughed out loud.
"No, you wuss! She carries mace!"
Wesley blushed furiously.
"So sorry Fred, I should know better than to think YOU are capable of such things."
Cordelia glared at her friend.
"HEY! What's wrong with carrying protection? I carry condoms in my purse and am damn glad I do! What would happen if me and a hottie were making out and we got the urge to you know?"
Angel stared Cordelia down.
"Well, if you were ever in that position you would run straight home and have a cold shower and never see that "hottie" again." He replied sternly.
She waved him away with a delicate hand.
"Whatever! Come on Fred, we need to get ready for our dates."
The two girls ran upstairs to get dressed.
Angel turned to his two friends.
" Ok, guys, this is the plan."
A confused Gunn glanced at Wesley.
"Plan? What plan?"
"The plan where we do everything in our power to stop the girls from going on their dates." Angel replied.
"What? Are you kidding? If we try to stop them from going on their dates, Cordelia will have our head on silver plates!" Wesley panicked.
Angel rolled his eyes.
"Are you telling me that you two are afraid of little ole Cordy?
Gunn and Wesley nodded their heads.
Angel slapped his forehead.
"Come on guys! Are you mice or men?" He said trying to spark some determination in them.
Wes and Gunn glanced at each other then at Angel.
"MICE!" they answered in unison.
"Fine, let them go on their dates. Cordy probably has an extra condom for Fred just incase she gets in the mood too." He replied, knowing this would get their attention.
"We're in!" They exclaimed.
An hour or so later Cordelia and Fred walked down the stairs giggling. Both girls were startled when they heard moaning coming from Angel's office. The two girls rushed towards the office and were astonished at the sight before them. All three men were rolling around the office floor holding their stomachs in pain. Cordelia ran towards Angel and cradled his head in her lap.
"Oh, my gosh Angel! Are you okay?" She asked frantically.
He moaned even louder at the sound of her frantic voice.
"OOOHHHHHHHH." He moaned in fake pain.
Fred raced to where Wesley and Gunn were rolling around on the floor, and placed each one of her hands on the men's foreheads.
"They don't seem to have a fever." She indicated.
Angel's mind quickly raced.
"No, no fever. Stomach pains, huge stomach pain. It's probably from the food Cordy cooked today." He answered while groaning at the same time.
A worried look passed through Cordelia's eyes. It was her fault, all three of her friends were sick because she had decided to play Martha Stewart.
She kissed the top of his forehead and whispered in his ear. "Don't worry, Angel I'll take care of you."
HA! She bought it! He thought smugly.
He instantly looked up into her face and frowned.
"No, Cordy, what about your date? I don't want to ruin your date, you seemed so excited."
She smiled sympathetically at him.
"No, Angel, I want to stay and take care of you, your way more important than a stupid date." She said.
Fred nodded in agreement from where she sat.
"Of course you guys are more important. I'm staying too. I'll take care of Charles and Wesley." She stated.
Gunn and Wesley grinned at each other proudly.
Ten minutes later Angel was lying comfortably on his bed, covered with a warm blanket, and a Guilty Cordelia sitting on the bed next to him.
"Cordy I just feel so awful that you had to miss your date." He said in fake sorry tone.
She smiled at him.
"I'm not." She said sexily.
Angel gulped as she leaned towards him, her eyes staring at his lips.
"Cordy, what are you.?"
"I'm doing something I've been wanting to do for a long time." She answered coyly.
Angel grasped for unneeded air.
"Angel, will you let me chain you to your bed." She asked sensually.
"Whaaa?"
"Please, Angel, I've been dreaming of this for a long time. I want to make you yern for me, I want to make you crazy." She pleaded with a sexy pout.
Angel nodded half dazed. He couldn't believe this was happening.
She carefully chained him to the bed. Once she had finished she stood at the foot of the bed and looked at him and smiled.
"Oh, yeah, you're going to get what you deserve." She whispered.
Meanwhile in the room next door.
Wesley and Gunn were each lying on a bed and were trying hard not to smile. Their plan had worked, and now Fred was pampering them.
Fred walked in with two mugs full of hot chocolate. She gave men a mug, and they both drank them instantly. Once Welsey finished his chocolate he handed it back to Fred.
"My goodness Fred that was excellent chocolate, what did you put in it? Some cinnamon?" He asked.
"UH uh. "She smiled smugly at him.
Gunn finished his chocolate and instantly felt sleepy.
"Damn girl, that was good." He said and covered his mouth to stifle a yawn.
"I'm glad you liked it, Charles. It was my own special recipe."
Before she could finish her sentence, both men were fast asleep.
Cordelia walked towards the chained up Angel and started pulling off his pants.
When he was unclothes she pulled away from him and gazed at him.
"My, my, you are a stallion, aren't you?" She asked.
"Wait till you see me in action." He smiled lazily at her.
"No, I don't think I will, but I'm sure Wes and Gunn will fill me in." She said with a broad smile.
"Hu?" He asked puzzled.
Just then, She walked out of the room. Minutes later she came in dragging a naked Wesley in by the feet.
To Angel surprised, right behind came a petite Fred dragging an even Naked Gunn by the arms.
"Gosh he's heavy! " Fred exclaimed.
Cordelia and Fred placed both men on each side of the frantic vampire.
Angel instantly panicked.
"What in the world? What's going on here, Cordelia? Fred?" He asked the two smiling girls.
"Well, you see Angel, we figured out your little game, and decided to turn the tables." Cordelia said smiling.
"What> How?" Angel demanded.
"Well, for starters, Gunn and Wes were smiling like two hyenas for starters!" Fred answered, pointing at the two sleeping men.
"And secondly, you didn't even eat anything I cooked. Remember? You Vampire?" She said glaring at him.
"So, now where going to take some photographs of you three guys in bed together, and then we are going to e-mail it to the Sunnydale crew. See how they like it. I can just see Xander laughing his head off right now!" Cordelia laughed.
Fred held up a small camera and pointed it at the three men.
"Ya'll say cheese!"End.