Title: Long Time Coming
Author: Becjane
Posted: 09-28-2003
Email:
Rating: NC17
Category:
Content: A/B romance, angst. A/C friendship, eventual romance (you have to be very patient!). A/C/W/F friendship.
Summary:
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: Set in Sunnydale, after Angel has returned from hell and Cordelia has spilt up with Xander. Wes and Faith are in it, but the Wes/Cordy crush is non existent because it interferes with the story. This is AU Buffy Season 3 apart from the above, so doesn't fit in properly with the real timeline. Angel, Cordelia, and Wes are more 'LA' than they actually were in this season of Buffy, but I figure the 'LA'ness was always part of their personalities and they just didn't show it during the Buffy years. Oh and Angel isn't quite so blind to Buffy's faults either.
Feedback: Yes please, but be gentle! This is my very first fanfic and I'm kind of shy about posting it. There are so many great writers on this board, and I in no way measure up. I'm having fun writing this though, so I thought what the hell!
Thanks/Dedication:Part 8
Wesley took a firmer grip on the cudgel he held in his hands, readying himself for action. He was uneasy; everything was in place, but the watcher was worried that something had been missed. Angel had quickly come up with a plan of action, handing out specific assignments that were all designed to keep the Kryzlic Demon off balance. The vampire's take charge attitude had soothed Wesley's frazzled nerves somewhat. However, given his significant role in getting them to this point, Wesley still felt a certain amount of responsibility. Angel's ideas seemed sound - Wesley just hoped that they could pull it off.
Angel looked around, checking everyone was in position. Willow, Xander, Oz and Cordelia were all perched high in the surrounding trees; each of them armed with a basket full of what Willow had termed 'magic balls' with an embarrassed blush. The missiles were harmless to humans, but caused a considerable amount of pain to a demon; Angel just hoped he didn't get hit by too many of them. He had wanted Cordelia to stay behind, but she had adamantly refused and he'd caved at the sight of her adorable pouting lip. Angel reasoned that her position should keep her out of harm's way because the Kryzlic would have enough to contend with on the ground, without attacking those in the trees.
Wesley, Giles, Buffy and Faith were his ground force; they were armed with a diverse array of weapons, and were to mount hit and run attacks from miscellaneous positions encircling the clearing. At present though, the two slayers stood with the vampire preparing to initiate the first phase of their attack.
"You ready?" Angel bent to whisper in Faith's ear.
"Five by Five boss."
"Buffy?"
"Yeah, I'm ready." Buffy's sullen voice replied; the petite slayer hadn't liked being shunted into the background.
Angel ignored his girlfriend's petulance. "All right - Let's do it."
Buffy and Faith crept to the centre of the clearing, locating and uncovering the trapdoor. Faith took a lighter out of her pocket, lit the end of the flare that she held in her hand and nodded to her blond counterpart. Buffy took hold of the rope handle attached to the trapdoor, and pulled it open in one swift movement. The dark-haired slayer threw the crackling flare into the pit, Buffy kicked the trapdoor shut, then the two slayers retreated back into the undergrowth to await the Kryzlic demon's emergence.
Angel checked the anointed knife was still firmly secured to his wrist, and prepared himself for the upcoming battle. He hadn't taken the lead in a fight for a long time, but that didn't worry him; once he got himself into the right groove, the rest usually came naturally.
The enraged roar of the demon echoed around the clearing as it realised it was under attack. The trapdoor suddenly crashed open and the angry demon emerged. Angel hadn't had the chance to get a good look at the Kryzlic until now. The demon stood about six and a half foot tall, was grey in colour, with broad shoulders and thick muscular limbs. Its face was human-like in features, with a prominent nose and sunken eye sockets. The creature's mouth was full of razor sharp teeth, and its eyes glowed a fiery red. The Kryzlic's most distinguishing feature was its fingers that extended into razor sharp points from the knuckles. They were a formidable weapon, but Angel realised that they could also be a hindrance to the creature if an attacker could get close enough. The vampire guessed that would involve a lot of bleeding, it was just fortunate that such things didn't kill him, even if they did hurt like hell.
The Kryzlic howled as a bevy of missiles rained down on it from above. It twisted and turned trying to shield itself from the sizzling balls of magic. Whilst the creature was off balance, the two slayers and their watchers rushed the demon, inflicting a series of gaping wounds on different parts of its anatomy.
Angel held back, waiting for the right moment to launch his offensive.
Buffy and the others attacked again, but were not so successful on their second sortie. The two watchers were sent flying in opposite directions by the Kryzlic's powerful kicks. Buffy and Faith immediately engaged the demon in combat; their weapons flashing through the air, countering all of the Kryzlic's moves.
Still the vampire held back.
Once their supply of magic missiles had been exhausted, the Kryzlic began to gain the upper hand and the two slayers started to struggle. Faith swung her axe aiming at the Kryzlic's left wrist, but her footing suddenly slipped on the wet grass and she fell backwards, the demon easily disarming her as she crashed to the ground. Buffy managed to stave off the Kryzlic's initial assault on the downed slayer, but was hurled across the clearing on the second attempt. The Kryzlic advanced on Faith who hadn't quite managed to get her feet back under her.
Angel finally attacked.
Faith scrambled out of the way as the demon and the vampire circled each other, the small clearing acting as a boxing ring for the fight to death that was to come. Buffy struggled to get to her feet, but Faith caught her arm and tugged the girl back down to the ground. "Don't interfere - this is Angel's fight now."
Cordelia clung to the tree branch, her heart pounding in fear as she watched the battle commence below her. She winced as the Kryzlic slashed Angel across the chest with its claw, ripping through the material of the vampire's shirt, and drawing blood, lots of blood. Angel didn't seem to notice though, and he delivered a spin kick to the demon's torso sending the creature sprawling to the ground. The Kryzlic demon was on its feet in seconds and barrelled back into the vampire; its claws extended to inflict the most damage possible. Its razor sharp fingers sank into Angel's chest with a sickening thud, and Cordelia cried out in alarm at his howl of pain. "Angel!" Oh God! Oh God! The young cheerleader's hands covered her mouth in horror, and her eyes overflowed with tears.
Angel wrenched himself off the Kryzlic's claws and vamped out, his yellow eyes flashing and a menacing growl erupting from his throat. The Kryzlic was driven back by the ferocity of the vampire's next assault, unable to do anything, but constantly defend itself against the deluge of blows and kicks. Angel's hands and arms were getting slippery from the blood that was pouring from the myriad of cuts wreaked by the demon's defensive gestures. He ignored the pain and kept the pressure up, preventing the Kryzlic from regrouping. Angel knew he couldn't keep this up forever though; he wasn't inflicting any real damage on the Kryzlic because the demon's claws were deflecting all his blows.
Out of the corner of one eye, Angel caught a flash of something lying on the ground a few feet away - Faith's axe. The vampire took a step backwards, then launched himself up into a back flip, his boot-clad feet catching the demon under the chin, momentarily knocking it off balance. Angel took advantage of the Kryzlic's distraction to dive for the weapon, rolling to his feet in one continuous motion, the axe now in his two-handed grip.
He held the weapon at the ready as the Kryzlic slowly advanced. Glowing yellow eyes met with smouldering red ones as the two demons stalked each other, locked in combat. The Kryzlic suddenly attacked, but Angel was ready and quickly side-stepped the charge bringing the weapon down with phenomenal force on the creature's forearm. The edge of the axe sliced cleanly through skin and bone, severing the Kryzlic's right hand from the rest of its arm. Dark green blood spurted, and the demon let out an agonised wail. Angel immediately swung the axe again, amputating the demons other hand, and the creature fell to the ground, its blood staining the grass black.
Angel tossed the axe aside, and planted a foot into the hollow of the Kryzlic's throat, "Who sent you?" he grated.
"That's for me to know and you to find out." The demon's voice was guttural, but the words surprisingly clear-cut
Angel applied more pressure to the creature's throat, the bones cracked and the Kryzlic screamed. "I want a name. I can either kill you now, or keep you alive and torture you for days - it's your choice."
The demon raised the bleeding stumps of its arms, trying to remove the vampire's foot, but to no avail.
"So, what's it to be - a name and a quick death, or several weeks of agony?" Angel demanded. "Tick, tock - time's a wasting."
"Styjasimok" the Kryzlic gasped out in agony, finally admitting defeat.
"Now, that wasn't so difficult was it?" Angel drawled as he removed the poisonous weapon strapped to his wrist. He lifted the knife in a two-handed grip and drove the weapon into the centre of the demon's chest, retracting the outer blade as he did so. The Kryzlic howled as its body slowly disintegrated, its skin bubbling and popping as the Balthrim burnt like acid from the inside.
"Angel, get back." Wesley yelled a panicked warning as it dawned on him what was about to happen. "Everybody get down."
The vampire dove for cover just as the Kryzlic exploded, scattering body parts loaded with Balthrim around the clearing. The pieces burned, then dissolved into nothingness, leaving no trace of the extinct demon or the Balthrim-anointed weapon behind.
The first round of this year's apocalypse was over.
* * * * * * * *
Angel sat on the window ledge in his bedroom, gazing unseeing out of the open window into the dark night. He was unable to sleep; the pain from his healing wounds, the adrenaline from his battle with the Kryzlic and the subsequent events that followed, keeping him wide awake.
The vampire glanced down at his naked chest and smiled briefly. Although she was drooping with exhaustion, Cordelia had insisted on patching him up when they had arrived back at the mansion in the early hours of the morning. He was now covered in haphazard squares of lint and he looked like a half-finished collage.
Angel ran his fingers through his spiky dark hair and closed his eyes at a not so pleasant memory. Buffy had shied away from him when he had reached out a bloody hand to help her up and that action had precipitated the heartbreaking incident that followed.
A few hours earlier ...
Buffy was stunned by Angel's violent execution of the Kryzlic demon. She didn't want to be near him right now. In fact, the young slayer couldn't wait to get as far away from him as possible. Buffy was finally, against her will, having to face up to the reality of her boyfriend's vampiric nature and she resented being forced into it by events that were out of her control. If she or Faith had fought the Kryzlic demon, like they were supposed to, this wouldn't be happening, and her fantasy bubble would not be in danger of bursting.
Angel sighed in resignation when his girlfriend flinched back from him, then turned to Faith to return her axe. The brunette slayer just looked at him in admiration. "You okay?"
"Five by Five." he said, reflecting her own catch phrase back at her with a tight grin.
Angel nodded at Wesley as the watcher approached the little group. "Thanks for the warning. That could have been painful."
Wesley's brow creased. "I probably should have researched the effects of Balthrim a bit more." he reproached himself.
"Relax Wes, you did a great job." the vampire assured him.
"I did?" Wesley looked up astonished.
Faith rolled her eyes at her watcher's uncertainty. "I'm thinking - yeah. Score one for the Fang Gang, I say."
"Speaking of which." Angel crossed the clearing to the large tree that Cordelia was still ensconced in.
Xander and Oz had already climbed down and were helping Willow to the ground. The young cheerleader sat on one of the lower branches trying to decide whether to risk jumping, since nobody had deigned to offer to help her down - until now that is. She smiled down at a blood-covered Angel.
Cordelia's face was pale and she looked worn out, the events of the night finally taking their toll on her physique. She threw herself into Angel's arms as he lifted her down from the tree, hugging him tightly. "Oh my God! I thought that thing was going to kill you."
Angel held the trembling girl in his arms for a few moments, soothingly stroking her back as she buried her tired face in his neck.
"Cordelia, I know draping yourself over unsuspecting men is your favourite form of entertainment, but I really think my boyfriend would prefer it if you didn't have your hands all over him. He's got better taste than most of your conquests." The warmth of Cordelia's presence was swiftly removed from Angel's embrace as Buffy yanked the girl away from him.
"Hey!" Xander protested.
"Sorry, Xand - didn't mean you. You were just temporarily insane for a while."
Angel scowled at the teenage boy when he failed to contradict the slayer. Xander had dated Cordelia for over a year; the vampire thought he should have more respect for her.
Who does Buffy think she is anyway? She hasn't even asked me if I'm all right, let alone hugged or kissed me. She's supposed to be my girlfriend, but it's Cordy who expresses relief at my survival. "I think Cordy was probably the one who was temporarily insane." he blurted out before he could stop himself.
Buffy glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that Xander was obviously too stupid to realise what he had." Angel replied, refusing to back down from what was a potentially explosive line of conversation. "Cordy wasn't doing anything wrong, Buffy. She's my friend; you hug your friends all the time."
"Difference is they're not trying to get into my pants!"
Angel snorted. "Like Xander would really say no if you ever offered!"
"Why are you being like this? Can't you see what she's doing to you? Everything was fine before Cordelia came to you with her sob story."
"No, Buffy. Everything was *not* fine. Things haven't been right between us for a long time."
"How can you say that? We love each other."
"Sometimes, that's not enough." Angel stated regretfully.
"What more do you want?" Buffy cried. "I've given you everything."
"Oh, I don't know, let me think - how about respect? How about recognising that I had a life before I met you? How about welcoming me into your circle of friends rather than keeping me locked away in my kennel like your personal lapdog? What about accepting me for everything that I am, rather than trying to fit me into your mould of the ideal boyfriend? What about friendship?" Two years of unspoken dissatisfaction with certain elements of their relationship had finally escaped Angel before he could hold his tongue.
Buffy stared at him, tears running unchecked down her cheeks. She stood her ground for a brief moment, then, with a small cry, turned and fled. Angel watched her go, unshed tears blurring his vision. He looked around at their stunned audience, noting the four pairs of accusatory eyes staring at him, as well as the three pairs of sympathetic ones.
Wesley cleared his throat. "Err - maybe we should all call it a night. Go home, get some rest. Things might look different in the morning."
Angel swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "Come on" he said quietly to Cordelia, reaching out to place a supportive hand on the small of her back. "Let's go home."
End of flashback ...
Angel opened his eyes and finally let the tears overflow. He buried his face in his cold hands, and mourned what he thought was probably the loss of his first real love.
* * * * * * * *
Cordelia slowly came awake, her eyes flickering open. She had fallen asleep the moment her head had hit the pillow; her body and mind sapped of all energy by Willow's spell. She glanced over at her alarm clock, 3.00pm - she'd slept for over twelve hours and missed a whole day of school in the process. Wesley had been right though, she felt fully refreshed and nothing lingered of the bone-weary exhaustion from the previous evening.
Cordelia stretched, working the kinks out of her body, before getting out of bed to pull on her robe and don a pair of big fuzzy slippers. She descended the stairs and surveyed the downstairs living area - Angel was nowhere in sight. Cordelia went into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee, then searched the cupboards for something to eat. Waffles, she thought she could manage those without too much trouble.
Once she had eaten, Cordelia took her cup of coffee and curled up in the big armchair with the latest copy of Cosmopolitan. Half an hour passed peacefully until her reading was interrupted by a loud hammering on the front door. Cordelia glanced down at her attire - pyjamas, slippers and a robe. She was hardly dressed for company, but the cheerleader figured that the only people likely to visit the mansion would be one of the Scooby Gang, so she decided to risk answering the door - and immediately wished she hadn't.
"Hello Cordelia" her father said sternly "I think it's about time you returned home and fulfilled your duty to your family, don't you?"
Part 9
Angel lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling; he'd been in the same position for the last four or five hours, unmoving, unwilling to get up and face the day and confront the reality of the slow disintegration of his relationship with Buffy.
"No!" Cordelia's raised voice intruded into his consciousness, disturbing his brooding. Angel shot out of bed at the panic he could hear in the cheerleader's voice. Grabbing a shirt, he exited his bedroom and crossed to the top of the staircase to observe the scene below him.
Cordelia stood in the centre of the room, dressed in a pair of turquoise pyjamas, a white robe, plus a pair of big blue fuzzy slippers. Her long dark hair was tied back in a haphazard ponytail and her arms were folded across her chest in a noticeably defensive gesture. Opposite her was a distinguished older gentleman that Angel didn't recognise, but given his resemblance to Cordelia, the vampire guessed that this was the infamous Mr Chase. Cordelia seemed to suddenly sense Angel's presence at the top of the stairs and she shot a quick look in his direction, before visibly relaxing her posture.
"I said - go pack your things. It's time to end this charade. I am your father and you *will* do as I say." Mr Chase repeated in his strong authoritarian voice.
"How did you find me?" Cordelia asked, her voice quaking slightly at her father's domineering tone.
"The school gave me your new address." Malcolm Chase glanced disdainfully around the room. "Is this what you've lowered yourself to? I thought I'd brought you up better."
Cordelia's body went rigid as a flare of overwhelming anger ran through her. How dare he insult Angel's home like that? Angel had shown her more affection in the past few days than her father had in nearly eighteen years. Cordelia was suddenly no longer afraid of him; this man had dictated the course of her life since infancy, and there was absolutely no way she was going to let him do that as she entered into adulthood. This was her life and Cordelia Chase was finally going to take it back.
"No, Mrs Franklin and various nannies brought me up better." she snapped caustically. "You had no hand in my upbringing whatsoever. If you think you can come here, throw your weight around and I'll just come running back like Daddy's good little girl then you'll have a very long wait! I'm not coming home and I am *definitely* not marrying that creep. If you were any sort of parent then you wouldn't expect me to - most fathers would do anything to protect their daughters from perverted men like that."
"That is enough! You will obey me, young lady" Mr Chase's eyes blazed with anger as he reached out to grab his daughter's wrist in a bruising grip.
"No, I won't" Cordelia's hazel eyes burned with rage as she tried to extract herself from his hold. "Let me go!"
"I think you should do as she says." Angel's calm, cool voice penetrated the battle of wills going on between father and daughter.
"And who are you?" Malcolm Chase's attention focused on the handsome vampire who was slowly descending the stairs. "She doesn't have any money you know - I will cut her off without a dime if she doesn't return home and fulfil her obligation to her parents."
Angel fixed the man with a cold stare. "I'm not interested in money" he stated flatly.
"So this is about sex then? How old are you - 28, 29? There's a name for men who go around seducing innocent young girls, you know."
"Yeah and there's a name for fathers who sell their daughters to such men." Angel retorted. "So let me tell you how this is going to work. You will get out of my house and if you *ever* go near Cordelia again, then you will have me to answer to."
Mr Chase snorted. "I'm not afraid of you, young man."
"That would be a serious error of judgement. You should be afraid - very afraid." Angel stalked across the room and forcibly removed the man's grip from Cordelia's wrist. He then planted himself between the two of them, shielding the young girl from her father's wrath.
Malcolm Chase glared at his daughter "This is what you've given up your privileged lifestyle for? A romp in the hay with this young punk? Have you no shame - do you want to leave your parents destitute?"
"If you end up destitute then it'll be your doing Daddy. You were the one who didn't pay his taxes if I recall." Cordelia replied, her voice strong and sure. "And Angel is my friend, he offered me a place to stay when I had nowhere else to go; when you tried to force me into a marriage that I don't want. I'm not sleeping with him; some people are just decent human beings who help others and don't ask for anything in return. I know there is no way *you* could possibly understand that, but it does happen."
"I've had about all I can take of your insolence, Cordelia. Now get your things - you are coming home. Ryan Lauper is coming to dinner tonight and he expects to meet his future wife."
"I really don't think you heard me. I said - Get out of my house and stay away from Cordelia." Angel repeated, a threat of violence implicit in his words.
"And what are you going to do about it if I don't?"
"Don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to." Angel let his vampire features erase his human face to emphasise his point.
Mr Chase stumbled back in horror. "What are you?"
"Someone you don't want to cross, if you're intelligent enough to know what's good for you."
"He's a monster." Mr Chase implored his daughter.
"No, he's a good man - you're a monster." Cordelia fired back at her father, stepping between him and Angel again. "Leave now Daddy. Go home and tell Mother you failed to force me to come back. Better start packing your stuff - the IRS are going to be after you soon."
Mr Chase looked between a defiant Cordelia and an angry Angel, realising he had lost the control that he once had over his daughter. "You will regret this." he informed her confidently.
"I seriously doubt it." Cordelia replied, just as assuredly. "Goodbye Daddy. Close the door on your way out."
Mr Chase glared one last time at his daughter, then slammed out of the mansion, the door closing with a bang behind him. Cordelia let out the breath she had been holding and sagged back against Angel's broad chest in relief. The vampire's arms rose to encircle her middle. "You okay?"
Cordelia nodded. "Yeah, I did it. I actually stood up to him; I can't believe it."
Angel pulled back the sleeve to her robe. "That's going to bruise." he said, gently touching the red mark on her wrist. "You should put some ice on it."
"I'm fine." Cordelia replied, then a thought struck her. "What about you? You were so beat up last night." She turned in his arms and pulled open his shirt, running the tips of her fingers over the almost healed wounds on the vampire's chest.
Angel looked down into her hazel eyes and gave her a small smile. "Vampire healing abilities - they're the business." He reached out and tugged playfully on her ponytail. "I'm okay - be right as rain in no time."
Cordelia grinned up at him, then suddenly realised where she was and hurriedly stepped back out of his arms. Another knock rattled the door and Cordelia turned to open it. "Buffy - Hi! Come in."
The petite slayer stepped through the door and looked around, taking in Cordelia's bedroom attire and Angel's unbuttoned shirt. "What's going on?"
"Geez - suspicious much!" Cordelia exclaimed. "Nothing is going on Buffy - why can't you get that through your head? I was kind of exhausted last night because all the energy was sucked out of me by Willow's spell, so I only just got up. Believe me, if I was trying to seduce your boyfriend, I'd be wearing something a bit more sexy than this. I was just checking on Angel's wounds; you do remember what happened last night, don't you?"
"Yeah, I remember." Buffy said softly turning her hurt blue eyes on Angel, who looked down at his feet avoiding her gaze.
Oh great! Here we go again - another chapter in the 'Buffy and Angel' love saga. They really ought to get their own TV show - it's just like watching a soap opera.
"Do you mind?" Buffy glared at Cordelia. "I would like some time alone with *my* boyfriend."
Just stay cool, Cor. Rising to the bait right now would be a bad idea. "Sure, I'll just go and .... well be anywhere other than here." The cheerleader retreated back upstairs to her room.
The blond slayer took a deep breath and launched into the little speech that she had rehearsed a hundred times before she had ventured over to the mansion. "Look, I guess we were all kind of stressed last night, what with everything that was going on. Everyone was overreacting to everything. I know you didn't mean what you said so let's just forget it - okay?"
Angel however, had finally plucked up the courage to tackle their relationship head on; he couldn't let things drift and hope for the best anymore. "I'm sorry Buffy, but I did mean it. I don't regret what I said, only the way I said it."
Buffy's lower lip began to quiver "Why are you doing this to me Angel? Is it because of what happened the other night - because I wouldn't let you touch me in that way?"
Angel shook his head. "No, of course not. I just can't be the person you want me to be. I tried so hard to fit into your idea of the perfect boyfriend because I loved you so much and was so terrified of losing you. In doing that though, I've lost who I really am and I can't keep up the pretence anymore, it's just too hard."
"When did you stop loving me Angel?" Buffy sobbed, her heart breaking at his use of the past tense.
"I haven't." Angel replied, taking her face between his hands. "I do still love you, Buffy, but this relationship is not going to work if we carry on the way we are. I need it to be honest and real, not a hearts and flowers teenage fantasy."
The blond slayer wrenched herself away from his grasp. "You call everything that we've been through 'hearts and flowers'?" she spat out.
"No, but the pain, the heartache, it's still all part of an illusion of perfect love - a Romeo and Juliet scenario."
"Romeo and Juliet are the greatest lovers of all time - everyone knows that." Buffy retorted.
Angel raked his fingers through his dark hair "But how well did Romeo and Juliet really know each other, honestly? They met at a party and got married within a few days. If circumstances had been different, would their relationship have lasted? I don't think so. I've lived a long time Buffy; Romeo and Juliet are not my idea of true love."
"Then what is?"
"Have you read Pride and Prejudice?" The slayer nodded in the affirmative so Angel continued. "Elizabeth and Darcy - two people who didn't really like each other to start with, but got to know each other over time. Two people who became friends, who learned to accept the flaws in each other's characters, and who eventually fell in love despite themselves. That's a relationship that I believe would have stood the test of time; that's my definition of true love."
"And that's what you want?"
"Something along those lines, yes. My life before Sunnydale shaped the person that I've become, I need to be able to talk to you about that; I need you to understand that, while I'm not him, Angelus isn't a completely separate entity. I want us to be friends as well as lovers."
"We are friends." Buffy protested.
"No, we're not, not really. Spike was right - we may love each other to death, but we've never been friends. To be that, you would have to accept me for who I am - the man and the vampire, but it's like you wish that part of me didn't exist."
"That's not true. What I said, at the ice rink that time - don't you remember?"
"They were just words Buffy, followed by a grand gesture. Non of your actions since then have backed that up. How many times have you opened curtains, letting in the sunlight, without thinking? If you truly accepted the vampire in me, then not doing that would just be instinctive in you." Angel caught her hands in his, forcing her to look up at him. "Tell me honestly. Can you ever look at this," he asked, as he let the true face of his demon emerge, "and see someone that you love?"
Buffy's breathing was laboured, her heart hammering in her chest, as she stared into his yellow eyes unable to look away. "Buffy ..." Angel implored quietly, desperately.
The young slayer closed her eyes, and two tears escaped to run down her cheeks. Her blue eyes reopened and locked with Angel's. "No." Buffy's voice was barely audible.
Angel staggered back; her answer wasn't wholly unexpected, but it hit him like a ton of bricks nonetheless, ripping his heart out of his chest.
"Angel .." Buffy reached out towards him, but the vampire waved her away, shaking his head. The slayer took a deep breath "Is that it?" she asked, her voice thick with tears.
"I think so." Angel's voice cracked on the words.
"Maybe we could ..."
"No, Buffy. If we continue in this way, we will probably end up hating each other and I don't want that." Angel looked at her in sorrow, his deep brown eyes full of unshed tears.
"Oh God! I don't believe this is happening." Buffy cried out, her hands going to her mouth. "Tell me this isn't happening."
"I can't. I'm sorry. I wish I could. I really do."
Buffy turned towards the door and opened it, stepping out into the light. She looked up at her ex-boyfriend, crying openly now. "Goodbye Angel."
"Goodbye." Angel whispered brokenly, as he closed the door behind the slayer and rested his forehead against the smooth wood. He stayed where he was for a few minutes, trying to keep himself from shattering into a million pieces. Eventually, he forced his weary body to move and trudged slowly up the stairs. Cordelia's door opened as he passed. "Hey! Buffy gone?"
"Yes." Angel replied in a flat voice.
"But you made up right?" the cheerleader asked brightly.
"No, it's over."
"What?" Cordelia was shocked to the core. "You mean for good?"
"Yes, I mean for good."
"Oh." The pretty brunette didn't know what to say. "Maybe ..."
"Are you okay? After Willow's spell, I mean, and earlier with your father?" The vampire interrupted lifting his gaze to hers; Cordelia reeled from the desolation she saw in his deep brown eyes.
"Yes, I'm fine, but Angel ..."
"Good, that's good." Angel nodded inattentively, then retreated into his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind himself.
Cordelia didn't see him again for over a week.
Continue on...