Title: Alone
Author: argentlife
Posted: 10-23-2002
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Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
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Dedication: as always, to Sara for her patience.

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//It’s never easy to be alone, sometimes when you love someone it’s not an option//

The music gathered the people, crowded the dancefloor. Wrapped her body in tunes that made her dance. Sweat pouring down her body, made her black dress cling to her curves.

The lights flickered in colours of the rainbow. Smoke filled the room. Around her people gathered together, laughed, smiled. She was alone.

The tune changed. Whispers of a guitar filled her mind, made her change the way her hips swayed to the music.

Sweat mingled with tears as she remembered last night and then she whipped them away, once more forgetting. She danced.

Her body was tired. She had danced for hours, never taking a rest. She wanted to forget. Forget the way her life had changed. Forget the faint smell of earth that lingered in her apartment, on her clothes.

She stumbled. Fell into the arms of strangers. Felt their hands on her body as they helped her gather herself. Skin against skin. She cringed away, not wanting to feel.

She began to dance again.

The music changed once more. Soft tunes that made her shiver, a song for lovers. Her body stopped. In the middle of the dancefloor she stood, alone, while others gathered others in their arms.

The tears fell freely now. She hadn’t the energy to stop them. Her hands lifted to her face in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. She broke. And then she remembered.

Ordinary things. Early mornings spent together. Gentle kisses of good night. The way he brought her her magazines when she was ill. The way they avoided the happiness they both knew they deserved. The way he loved her.

Silent sobs echoed within her body.

She could see the glances from the others around her. She turned around. Her eyes catching the stairs that led to the exit. Mascara running down her cheeks she pushed her way through the crowd. Willed her tired legs to take her up the stairs and let her escape in the night.

She brushed the mascara from her cheeks and walked towards the next place. Bright pink neon letters highlighting it’s entrance. They matched the ligth blue ones from the club she had left seconds ago. On the ground pink and blue fought a never-ending battle. She didn’t care. She had already fought hers.

Won and lost.

She entered the other club. Moved towards the dancefloor. Once again she was lost in the music, lost in the dance.



Shades of purple and red colored the sky when she walked out again, her short brown hair flatten against her head. Dress soaked with sweat.

The street before her was almost empty. Lonely cars made their way through the city. Happy people walked home. She began to walk home herself. Each step taking her closer to the memories she had tried to forget.

Her gaze travelled the sky. It was beautiful. Shadows chased away by the rising sun. She entered her building. Walked the stairs. Willed her tired legs to once again function.

Her hands searched her bag, tried to find the keys. Standing outside her door she began to curse. She couldn’t find them.

Her fingers brushed against something, something sharp. She pulled it up from her bag. Watched as the polished wood catched the first rays of sunlight that shone through the window at the end of her corridor.

And she remembered the way she lost. The way his dust had clinged to her clothes, the way her apartment smelled of earth. The way a little bit of her would always be numb, would never really love again. The way they had made love, the way she had kept her promise.

Remembered the way she had won. The world would be safe but most importanly her family would be safe.

She put the stake back into her purse. Found her keys and walked inside her apartment. The scent of earth still hesistant to leave. From behind she could hear Dennis closing the doors. She kicked of her shoes, slipped of her dress.

Picked up the black robe Dennins held out, tied it losely around her hips. She remembered his last words, she remembered his first but more importanly she remembered the words in between. The words of her lover, not Angelus, not the Angel of before.

She was done.The evil had once again been chased away and she was alone, for now.

She was tired.

Eyelids closing, she could feel the poision run through her veins. It was almost time. The poison had drained her. She was indeed tired.

She was ready.



Minutes later Dennis pulled the blanket over her almost cold body. Covered it in black to match her robe. Her skin was getting cold.

He put the letter she had written on the table and then cleaned the apartment, putting everything in place.

End.