just fic


Title: Out of Whack
Author: anne
Posted: 04-19-2003
Email:
Rating: NC17
Category: Time Travel
Content:
Summary: Sequel to ‘A Little Ways Back’ which was a sequel to 'Into the Past' and 'Now Onto to the Present’.
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: NF for sure, and anyone else that has my stuff
Notes:
Feedback: Always welcomed- and needed for this story


Part 28

Angel started to the room that Cordelia had always used in the past when she had stayed over. He paused outside his suite, puzzled that she chose his room rather than hers. He stood listening.

A big part of him wanted to ignore the young woman and her tears, he was becoming unfocused to his mission. But, he couldn’t hide from the information that he had heard. Angelus. Love. Wesley dead. Cordelia a vampire. Wolfram & Hart. Past Angelus. Cordelia facing what seemed to be an army full of Angeluses. It was too much too avoid. Wolfram & Hart. Angel had to concentrate on that. They were responsible for whatever this was. That he could deal with. Angel would find out what was going on. He would use it to destroy them.

Any thoughts of Wolfram & Hart flew from his mind as Angel opened the door. The sight of Cordelia curled into a tight ball sobbing into his pillow was too powerful.

“Cordelia.” He whispered standing near the bed, unsure how to approach the young woman. Angel had forced himself to forget her, to forget how to go to her and comfort her. Then again, had he ever done that- wasn’t the truth that she was the one that always came to him offering comfort. He backed up from that thought it was too close too letting her in.

Angel stood, seeking the thought that would allow him to go near her. Save her. He could do that without reliving the emotions she allowed and caused in him.

“Cordelia.” He said again. “You have to tell me what’s happening. I can’t help if you don’t.” Angel waited during the prolonged silence wondering if the young woman had even heard him.

Finally, she shook her head into the pillow. “Not you.”

Not a great response but at least she was talking and not crying anymore. “From what I gathered from downstairs, I’m the only one you have right now.”

Angel cringed a little as the young woman curled further into ball trying to disappear into her body.

He sat on the edge of the bed, flinching as Cordelia instinctively scooted away from him, still not looking at him. Had he done this? Had Angel made her frightened of him? He hadn’t wanted that he had just wanted her to go away.

“I won’t hurt you.”

“Liar.” She bitterly chuckled. “That’s all you’ve done during this time.”

Angel closed his eyes, the only reaction he would allow to the surprising pain her words caused.

“I want to help.”

Cordelia turned gazing at the vampire, brushing harshly at her face. “No you don’t. You want to go back to trying to destroy Wolfram & Hart, cutting yourself off from any bit of humanity you’ve gained, distancing yourself from the influence of Doyle, me, Wesley, Gunn. You think we are a weakness to you one that you can’t afford if you are going to be successful in your vendetta. You let Wesley get shot, you will almost let Kate die all because you are too obsessed with your mission, not ours, but yours. The ultimate warrior, not for anyone but yourself, I don’t know if I can trust you to help us. I know that you do love us, even now, I know you will be so sorry for hurting us but right now you’re too unpredictable or rather too predictable. What I want from you is too important for you too fuck up with you’re selfish loner attitude. Hell, you probably would rather the future remain as it has become, not believing that someday you will want us back in your life, believing that family, your family, your humanity is more important than destroying Wolfram & Hart, that Darla is the least of your future worries and troubles.”

Cordelia took a deep breath and sat up, hugging her knees. “I was looking for my calendar but I forgot that right now it is buried in a box deep in a closet in my apartment.” She looked at Angel. “You don’t know now, but I used to, well, I still do, circle the days that are truly good, no threats of danger, no weirdness, no evil to interrupt a normal day. I started it after Doyle died. It was pretty color free at first, but then I had days where you weren’t almost killed, I didn’t have a vision, Wesley actually didn’t annoy me. Then the days filled up more. Somewhere down the line, having a vision didn’t make a bad day, you getting injured was okay, because that meant you were still alive in your own special dead way, Wesley being annoying was becoming expected, welcomed and needed. But, what I forgot when Gunn and I were trying to figure out what year too tell Fred to put in the spell, was this year had the most blank spots than even after Doyle died. This was truly a horrible year. Even the days that Wesley, Gunn, and I managed to laugh and forget weren’t good enough to put on the calendar. I should’ve remembered and chose another year. Because they did get better. I had a bunch of marks on the calendar this past year. Every day, well, some days were blank. Some evil just ruins a day, but still all and all, things were more than good.”

Angel wasn’t even going to bother to question how this Cordelia showed up in his bedroom, he just needed to know why. “Downstairs you said that Wolfram & Hart caused whatever happened, some how brought Angelus out?”

Cordelia got off the bed. “Wolfram & Hart is not my problem right now. They will be dealt with that’s not why we came, but I can’t expect you to get that after all to you it all starts and ends with the law firm.” She chuckled bitterly. “You want us out, we’re going.”

“Tell me.” He grabbed out taking her wrist in his fist.

Cordelia yanked her hand away. “No. If I do you will just go beat up some more lawyers and that’s not where I need you to go. See, I do love you and believe it or not I know that you love me and your family, that you are a wonderful person that I’ve trusted with my life and will trust again, but right now I can’t take the chance that you won’t choose revenge on Wolfram & Hart over saving Wesley or yourself. Right now,” she gently reached out caressing the vampire’s face. “You are so close to losing everything, you will come to your senses but you won’t have you’re little enlightening in time for me to use you.” Cordelia dropped her hand and rubbed at her face, a cross between a whimper and a sigh escaped from her lips. “I’m so tired.” She murmured softly, her words not meant for anybody but her.

Angel watched the strong woman struggle against an emotion so strong that it caused her body to tremble. His fight against the law firm was his mission. He had purposefully and willing forsaken any other. Angel had cut himself off from Cordelia and the others to focus on what he needed to accomplish and to protect them from the path he would have to travel. But, it seemed that his path hadn’t led to the destruction of the lawyers, they were still able to destroy. They were breaking the woman that he had vowed with utter sincerity that he needed, the one that he had silently sworn to protect always, the one he pushed away ignoring what she seemed to already know- that he loved her and that was his weakness.

“Cordy, please, tell me.”

She shook her head, not looking at him, her hand going to her neck. “It’s too important. I can’t take the chance.” She whispered.

Angel stood gently taking her hand away touching the marks now exposed on her neck. “Angelus bit you, how?”

Cordelia met the vampire’s eyes. “With his fangs, ‘grr’ guy that he is.”

Angel dropped his hands. “Damn’t Cordelia, you’re talking about Angelus.”

“Gee, really, duh.” Cordelia shot back. “I think I know who I’m talking about. Can I tell you the many versions of the bastard that I’ve met in the last two months? Gee, first there where the very special one that hung out at Gertie’s with the duo bitches and Spike, the one that still hadn’t gotten over his little seer fetish and left me little presents the most special being the dead body of the only person that had been decent in the hell hole, that’s the one that bit me. Then let’s see there was the one, well actually, he was the same one but coming into my home, with his fucking arrogant self, and god knows what he did that made Wesley and Gunn go time hopping again. Then there was the double pleasure of sharing space with the original and the 1998 version- okay, so they didn’t do that much except be really annoying, obnoxious and perverted, hanging outside my bedroom window, like it was a peep show or something. Some day you are going to explain that to me,” she glared. “Oh, and then the one that put me in a coma, only,” she scrunched up her face. “I don’t remember that one, because…well, Wesley could explain it, it has to do with all the freaky time stuff…and Angelus B3, but he falls under the same time weirdness. I don’t remember him, thank god, but Gunn and Fred do. Bastard and stupid…well, actually, Angel B was the stupid one, but Angelus B3 was pretty stupid too not to figure out that I would kill him sire or no. And these AREN’T Angelus’ marks.” Her hand went back to her neck,” like I’d let that bastard claim me. Hmmph.”

Marks? Claim? Angel listened again to the voice of Gunn and his angry statements as man exposed the puncture wounds. No. Angel reached out, pulling Cordelia to him, his head going to the scars. He pushed her back as soon as he caught his scent embedded in the wounds. “Angelus marked you and you understand what that means.” Angel growled.

“I understand what Angelus thinks it means. He thinks that it makes me his permanent plaything. But, guess what it doesn’t. I don’t belong to him, never did, and never will. These aren’t his. I didn’t agree, so his little ‘taste’ way back when doesn’t count.”

Angel was terrified at the young woman’s denial. Angelus would always be a danger to her now. “Cordelia, Angelus….”

She cocked her head at the vampire. “Don’t bother. There’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know. We’ve had this conversation before and we fixed it.”

“It can’t be fixed.” Angel could not believe what he was hearing.

“Yes, it can. It has been. Angelus even knows it has been fixed, pisses him off too, or at least Angelus 1 anyway, Angelus 2 didn’t seem to care once he figured it out, I think he just thought it was funny and tried to use it to his advantage. Don’t know about Angelus B3, though, like I said don’t remember him either time.”

Angel’s stomach was beginning to hurt and his brain was pounding against his skull making his eyes cross.

“Oh stop that. You don’t get migraines, you big baby.”

Angel blinked and flopped down on his bed, willing the pain away trying to think of anything rational to say. She really needed to leave. He couldn’t deal with all this. 3 Angelus’ all going after Cordelia, all having a claim on her. His eyes started to cross again. “It can’t be fixed.” He repeated, rubbing at his temples. This could not be happening. How in the hell could he have allowed these time traveling Angeluses anywhere near Cordelia? Where had he been?

Cordelia sat on the bed. "Yes, it can be fixed. It was. But that's not really what's important right now. Don't lie to me, Angel. Can we trust you to help us? I know you went to the hospital because you do care about Wesley even now."

"You…"

"I won't apologize for what I said that day. I meant every word. But, I do know now that you did care. I even understand why you think you have to cut us out of your life. I think it was stupid and hurtful. But, I also know that we weren't the most understanding either when Darla first showed up. You didn't tell us why Darla's soul was so important to you, why you needed to save her so badly, and we didn’t ask. All we saw was a woman that was playing with your mind and screwing things up for us. You, don't even kill her, you know. Had the perfect chance but you let her go. You couldn't do it. Both Darla and Drusilla are still somewhere out there. Wolfram & Hart is still standing. You didn't stop anything."

"I would've..." Angel shook his head. Did anything he do matter? God, the future looked bleak, his enemies still standing and his family hurt, Wesley dead and Cordelia claimed by Angelus. What was the point of his even being there if he couldn’t accomplish any of his promises or vows?

"You didn't. I can tell you all that had happened that brought you back to us. I could. But, you won't believe me. You have to find out on your own. What, I need to know is if we can trust you. If it helps, the way the time thing works, you probably won't even remember we were ever here. So, once it's over you can go back to being you're anti-social mean guy without a care in the world."

Angel stared. "You don't want me to re-hire you."

Cordelia chuckled and shook her head. "You aren't ready yet and either am I. Me, now, pretty much hates your guts, still loves you, but hates your guts. And you don’t re-hire us. We hire you on a probationary period, which you pass, by the way."

"I…”

"We've gone through a lot since then. We're …okay."

Angel shook his head trying to fit the pieces of all that he heard together. He couldn’t. So, he asked. "Part of what we've gone through, what Wolfram & Hart has put us through, has been you being sent back for Angelus to kill you- because you are my seer."

"Angel, I mean it. If you are going to help us, your focus can't be on the law firm. Wolfram & Hart, of this time, hasn't even thought of the time travel crap yet, their still banking on the Darla scheme."

"But, if I destroy them now."

"You won't, you can't. They've been around too long, too connected. All, I want from you is to go back to 1998 and make sure that Wesley and my Angel survive. That's it. We can deal with Wolfram & Hart when we get home."

"You said that they couldn’t be destroyed."

"No, but they can be shown the errors of this particular scheme. Lilah's failed twice already and you put her in the hospital the first time. Three times, she just may be out of the game and the scheme scrapped."

"Oh. I put in her in the hospital. Her not Lindsay?"

"She stepped in when lawyer boy went AWOL."

"He left Wolfram & Hart."

"Who knows? Who cares? Cordelia shrugged. "He leaves, he changes sides, he comes back, he's a friggin morally corrupt ambiguous yo-yo, but he sure can sing. Nevermind. So, do you understand what we need from you, will you be able to do it."

"Go, to 1998. And where are you? You've only mentioned Wesley and," Angel frowned," me that need saving. But you also said you were there, but how can that be you are here.”

"This time stuff is weird isn’t it. I'm safe for now. Angel will save me, if you get it right."

"Angelus kills me and Wesley?"

"No, another ensouled version of you from the future."

"Why?"

"Easy answer is he liked our future better than his, I guess." she shrugged. "I don't really care anymore. You can ask him before you kill him if you want."

"I don't understand any of this,” Angel glanced at the marks on her throat again. "What else did Angelus do to you?"

"I told you, mostly threats, the bad stuff I don't remember. They never happened to me. Angel and Wesley always got to the 'actual' me before I had to live through it."

"How many…this is to much.” His eyes went back to the marks. How could those not be the bad stuff?

Cordelia got up. "I know what you need," going to the door.

"Cordelia?"

She ignored him. "Fred," she started to yell and jumped back. '"Why are you two huddled out here with crossbows and stakes."

Angel rose to his feet and stepped forward

"In case vamp boy got horny and forgot again."

Angel stepped back at Gunn's words and glare.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Don’t be an idiot."

"It happened before."

"That..."

"No, I mean with him.” Gunn urged. "Boinked the evil ex. We just got lucky."

"He didn't forget, he wanted ...look, Gunn, you said it. The evil-ex. That's the only female that can get a rise out this vamp."

Fred threw of her hands. "Can we not talk about Darla sex? It's disturbing."

Angel eye's were cris-crossing and twirling behind his blank stare. Not only didn't he kill Darla, he had sex with her. "I didn't..."

"Go evil on our ass. Nay, must not have been that great." Gunn shrugged.

"Charles," Fred banged at his arm. "That's not how the curse works. It has to be a moment of pure contentment. Cordy told me that Angel told her that it was a moment of pure desperation."

"I believe the words I used were he got laid because he was going through a "down" period.” Cordelia quoted in the air.

"Right, a moment of pure desperation." Fred nodded. "Still it's really disturbing to think about. He shouldn't have cheated on Cordy."

"Fred," Cordelia shook her head. "He wasn't, he didn’t. He was just being an asshole man with a death wish."

Fred shook her head, still disapproving.

"Who are you?" Angel stared at the young woman. Okay, he could agree and even understand the strange young woman’s exclamation that sex with Darla at this point and time of his life did seem disturbing but cheating on Cordy? Uh?

"Oh, hi," Fred shook out her hand. "I'm Fred. Okay, nevermind.” She brought her hand back to her side. “You saved me from Plyea, when you went through the Portal to save Cordy, who had gotten sucked in at Caritas. You found me in my cave, or rather I found you, you weren't exactly your self then, when you were looking for her. But, Cordy was already in the castle, because the Priests made her a Princess. I took you there and told you how to challenge the Groosalugg. Who thought he was Cordy's champion, but actually you were because you beat him. Plyea's a hell dimension. I was sucked in the Portal five years earlier. It's where Lorne's from you met his mother. You met my parents too, well not in Plyea. Here. I'm really from Texas but I live in LA now here with you, my room is right down the hall from yours and Cordy's."

Angel's mind was spinning. Cordy was living in the hotel in the future?

"Girl, you made him speechless." Gunn grinned.

"Not hard to do this one hardly talked.” Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Angel's agreed..."

"Cordy," Fred interrupted.

"Yeah."

"Should you call him Angel...I mean, maybe something like Angel C."

Cordelia frowned. "No," she thought about it. "C would mean he was after B. And technically he's before B, actually, he's before A, too. Why don't we call him A?"

"I don't know Angel then would B, that doesn't really seem right. But we can’t just call him Angel. That might get confusing. I know, we can call him Angel ‘little a’."

Angel stared at the young woman. He had a crazy person living in his hotel in the future.

"That'll work. Angel ‘little a’ has agreed to help us, but he's confused as to all that's happened. So, I thought you could show him your chart."

"He will? Great.” Fred smiled at the vampire and then frowned. "My chart is at home."

"Make a new one." Cordelia shrugged.

"Of course," Fred went running out. Five seconds later, she was back. "Nothings in my room. I don't have my board. I forgot.”

"You could use the wall.” Gunn suggested.

"I don't write on the walls anymore, Charles, and you know it."

Cordelia sighed. ”I’ll get some paper," she flopped on the floor going for the bottom drawer of Angel's dresser.

Angel's confusion held him spellbound until he realized where Cordelia's was searching. He grabbed her wrist. "Don't go in there." He ordered with a bit panic.

"Pfft. We need paper and this is where you keep all your sketch pads and stuff." Cordelia knocked his hand away and started pulling at the pads hidden there. She flipped through the first, put it to the side, and did the same with the next.

"Ooh, Angel's drawings, I've only seen the ones you framed. Can I look?"

"NO.” Angel growled.

"Sure," Cordelia handed one of the books she passed over to the young woman that plopped down next to her.

"Ooh, who's she.” Fred pointed to the first picture.

Cordelia looked over. "That's Buffy."

"This is Buffy?” Fred squinted closer. "She's kind of pretty, not as pretty as you though."

"Yeah, well she's blonde."

"There sure is a lot of her," Fred flipped no longer interested once figured out who the girl was.

Cordelia leaned over again. "Those were done when Angel first got to LA." She tapped at the edge of one of the pages, pointing to the date.

"Oh.” Fred nodded, stopped suddenly. "Hey, I recognize him. That’s Doyle. The picture you got framed and put up downstairs."

Cordelia plucked the pad from her hand. "Yeah," Cordelia gave a bright smile tinged with a bit of melancholy. "Goof." She handed the book back to Fred.

"Cordy, why aren’t there any pictures of you in here."

"Hmm. Oh, I wasn't a blonde obsession." She went through some more pads, flipping through the pages. She put the sketchpads back in drawer away from Fred's searching eyes and comments. "Darla's in those.” Cordelia pointed to the other pads she put next to Fred.

Fred scrunched up her nose and looked. "Well, I guess she's pretty too."

"Skanky Ho," Gunn shook his head at Fred's offering. "Saw her enough."

"Evil bitch." Cordelia grumbled as she pulled some more pads out and put them back in the drawer.

"Cordy, what's in those."

"Old stuff, people places we don't know so, so why bother. Found some empties." Cordelia quickly tore out some clean pages and handed them to Fred and taking the pads that she had been looking at and putting them back in drawer, pulling out some charcoal pencils before closing the drawer.

Angel studied Cordelia. She had flipped through all of them. With some she had stopped at the first page as if she knew exactly what was in them, knowing that there wouldn’t be any empty pages. She paused at some and then placed them out of Fred's reach. Cordelia had obviously seen them before, all of them, and knew automatically which should be edited from view. Cordelia had lied to Fred when she agreed that they were no pictures of Cordelia in those books. Angel knew that there were and Cordy did, how did she know? Had they really gotten that close that he would have shown her? Personal sketches of his family, his sister. Those of his nightmares, those of his victims, and those of his time in hell. Those of her. Some as innocent as the one of Doyle, some draw in fear at the remembrance of the time she was under Vocah's curse, and the ones that were done hurriedly late in the dark after a dream, full of sin and sex.

Had he shown her or did she just snoop? Angel couldn't believe that he would ever share those with a living soul. "Cordelia."

"Oh, don't go 'grr', I didn't go sneaking through your stuff. Hmmph." She stood facing his stare. "You showed me."

"I wouldn’t."

"But, you did."

"Cordy,” Fred looked up from her chart. "What about Dennis' portrait?"

"What about it?"

"I never drew Dennis, he's a ghost."

"Yes, you did." Fred giggled. "It's hanging right over there." She pointed to an empty space over the dresser. “Or will be,” she shrugged.

"Angel ‘little a’ doesn't have the necessary sense of humor to think that one up yet." Cordelia stuck her tongue out at the vampire.

"Man, best picture you ever did." Gunn slapped him on the back.

Fred was still giggling as she scratched along the papers.


Part 29

"Fred." Cordelia paced.

"Almost. Okay." She put down her pencil.

"I'd get comfortable if I was you, she's a lot like Wesley.” Cordelia dropped herself on the bed, lying out pushing a pillow under her arms and chest as she faced the foot of the bed.

Angel blinked as the young woman showed once again exactly how comfortable she was in his room.

Gunn slouched down with his back against the bed next to Cordy. "Need some chips and a soda."

"Popcorn would be good." Cordelia sighed.

Fred cleared her throat, standing, showing the first page of her chart. She paused and frowned. "This would be easier with my board."

"You'll do fine."

"You know what would be perfect is power point."

"That's my girl."

"Does Wesley know that?" Cordelia whispered into Gunn's ear.

"Uh." The black man looked up in confusion.

"Nothing. By the way, I'm sorry I hit you," She added softly.

"I was an ass.” Gunn nodded accepting her apology and adding his own. "Nice right hook." he winked ending any further discussion.

Cordy smiled and faced the young woman again. "For your birthday."

"Really." Fred smiled, briefly caught up in the excitement of having a large screen and a flashing dot.

"Down girl.” Gunn smiled.

"Oh, sorry. This first is easy.” Fred pointed to a long straight line, interrupted with dates and names. "Here, we have Liam being turned by Darla." she pointed to the beginning of the line. "Giving us Angelus, it goes on until, here," she stopped at the next date. “Angelus is cursed by the gypsies and now we have Angel all the way until here," she stopped at the 1998 date. "Then we get Angelus for short while, when Angel lost his soul. Here we get Angel again.” She swished her finger along the rest of the straight line. That's our base time line, how things were and are, or at least should be."

Angel felt another surreal moment coming on. He was in a classroom. A crazy pretty young teacher was telling the class, him, all the dates, and times of his history, if he blinked he was sure that the other students were laughing or throwing things. He glanced over to Cordelia and Gunn. Okay, not students and they weren't laughing or throwing things, they were listening with the attention of those that had heard it all before. He looked back to the young woman. No longer a classroom or a teacher. Just the crazy woman reciting knowledge that proved she knew him. Angel wanted the surreal moment back. This couldn't all be real. But, it was and the young woman was still talking.

"Now, here" She pointed to the end of the line.” Is when Wolfram & Hart do the first time spell, kidnapping Cordy and tossing her into 1898." Fred took her pencil and marked an x in between the beginning and the date that started Angel.

She paused. "Angel, here.” She stopped and pointed to the end. "Discovers that Wolfram & Hart have kidnapped Cordy, goes beats up Lilah and retrieving the spell and the..."

"Fred," Cordelia interrupted.

"Yes."

"Just stick to the spell, okay. The other part isn't really relevant."

"But."

"Angel ‘little a’ doesn't need that information, okay. We don’t want to overload him.”

"But." She frowned. "Okay. I guess. Well. Angel and Wesley go to 1898." she drew a curve that traced the one she drew for Cordelia's path. They bring her home." Fred retraced the curve,” leaving Angelus in 1898 and then.” She swished again. "Angel goes on- he is Angel A though, because the time line had been slightly changed. He is no longer the Angel of before- so A. Angel A now remembered Cordelia's interaction with Angelus 1- he's now 1 because of the time changes, too. Angel A said that he remembered seeing a brunette with..."

"With visions."

"That's not what he said."

"Close enough." Cordelia stated firmly.

Fred frowned again. "He remembered m..." she stopped again as Cordelia interrupted.

“Biting."

"No. Cordy," Fred stood her ground. "He said marked, he specifically made the distinction. Angelus marked you in 1898. That is too relevant. It was because of that..."

"Fred," Cordelia warned.

"That the memory stayed with him as well as the memory that you escaped." she finished and turned to Angel ‘little a’. "Angel A said that he didn't remember that it was Cordelia. The face of the woman was a blur, but the memory of his," she looked to Cordy," his interest remained. He, of course, recognized that it was Cordy when they all got home. But, that was okay, because nothing in the time line really changed. Angel A said that," she jabbed at the 1998 date," when he lost his soul then he was too preoccupied with that Buffy girl, he thought he was in love with..."

"Fred, Angel was in love with Buffy.” Cordelia gave a small exasperated shake of her head.

"I said that, he thought he was in love with that Buffy girl."

"Fred, there was no thinking about it he was in love with Buffy."

"If you say so. I guess." Fred shrugged, showing her doubts on the subject.

"Fred."

"Fine. He loved Buffy. He drew a bunch of pictures of her and not of you. Whatever, his 'love'," Fred quoted, "wasn't important except that it kept Angelus A's attention off you, that's what was important."

"Why does she do that?” Cordelia whispered, shaking her head into the pillow.

Gunn shrugged. "Loves you, wants to keep the shiny perfect image of Kyerumption and Moria going. Thinks everything you two do is sweet and romantic."

Angel's confused gaze went from the Fred girl to Cordelia. Angel wanted to know why the young woman did that too. He didn't understand. He would almost think that the young woman was jealous of Darla and Buffy, except that didn't make any sense, since she seemed to be offended on the behalf of Cordy.

Fred was still talking. "Angel A said that he hadn't realized the resemblance of Cordelia to the girl he dreamed about. So, everything in 1998 happened like it was supposed to and we get Angel A again, so I guess the thing with the Buffy girl was for the best."

"Fred," Cordelia shushed her.

"What? I said it was for the best." Fred picked up another piece of paper that showed the same diagram. "The next time," she pointed to 1898." Wolfram & Hart brought Angelus 1 to here." she pointed to the end of the line and something happened.” She veered drawing a dotted line.

"We know what happened."

"No, we don't not on this chart." Fred shook her head. "We know that here,” she pointed back to the end. "Wesley 2 and Gunn 2 showed up and told Angel A, Wesley 1 and Gunn 1 that they had to get back to the hotel and save you from Angelus 1. So, you see." she pointed to the end. "Something happened in that future that made Wesley 2 and Gunn 2 go back. What I think and what Wesley 1 thinks is that," she picked up her pen. "Is that Cordelia was dead, most likely a vampire and Angel A lost his soul. That was the only reason we could think of why Wesley 2 and Gunn 2 showed up without Angel A.”

“Angel wouldn’t have lost his soul.” Gunn argued. “He told us before he beat the crap out of bitch lawyer that his soul was bound. He couldn’t have lost….”

“Right, unless Angelus 1 had gotten to Cordelia and turned her into a vampire or killed her in the regular way, but I bet he turned her. The interesting question is what then. Did Cordy the vamp do what she did later and kill Angelus 1 like she did Angelus B3, what happened with her and Angelus A- did she kill him or didn't she, did Angelus A fight Angelus 1 over Cordy the vamp...who won…”

“Fred,” Cordelia yelled sharply. “Shut up.”

“Cordy…”

“No, Fred, you're making things up. You don't know what happened. I wasn’t a vampire. Angel didn’t lose his soul.”

“Cordelia,” Fred shook her head in disagreement. “It’s the logical conclusion. Though, I think that Cordy the vamp wouldn't have killed Angelus A after all Cordy loved Angel A, but did she kill Angelus 1 or did Angelus A. I'd bet Angelus A, because when Angel fought Angelus 1 in 1898 and when Angel A fought him at the hotel he won. Both times.”

“Fred, shut up. None of that happened. You're being nuts." Cordelia pounded on the pillow.

Angel nodded as Cordelia yelled. Nuttier than a fruit basket or cake or whatever. Except. "I beat Angelus 1, did I kill him.” He said hopefully.

"NO." Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Star Trek rule of time travel- don't change history. And my rule," she glared at Fred. "Don't make it up."

"Does that mean I didn't beat him up or I just didn't kill him." Angel asked again.

"Angel," Cordelia snapped.

"What?"

"Beat the shit out of him, almost killed him, but had to send the fucker back." Gunn said.

Angel nodded. "Damn. Well at least I beat him up."

Cordelia flopped her head in the pillow, mumbling.

"Cordy?” Fred asked.

"Can we move on, please? Angel showed up at the hotel in time, right before Angelus 1 appeared they fought, beating the shit out of him," she added for Angel's benefit with a glare. "Wesley and Gunn tranquilized them both. Angelus 1 was sent back. Everything was fine.” She summarized urging Fred off that particular chart.

“Because Wesley 2 and Gunn 2 came back and warned Angel A and he was able to save you.” Fred looked apologetically at the vampire. “Wesley hadn’t devised the memory potion then, so we don’t know how things were changed. But, based on every thing else that we do know we can speculate with a high degree of accuracy,” she looked back to Cordelia.

“High speculation of guessing.” Cordelia snorted. "And whatever happened, nobody remembers, so therefore it didn’t happen and doesn’t matter.” Cordelia repeated.

“But, Cordelia it does matter. If Angel ‘little a’ is going to go back he has to understand that Angelus 1 will stop at nothing to get to you and Angelus 2 will also if he notices you, you said in your letter that he had. Angel ‘little a’ needs to understand the importance of making sure that any Angelus doesn’t turn you or kill you.”

Angel just stared, the satisfaction of banging on Angelus fleeing rapidly as the room closed in on him, making Fred’s voice merely a murmur. The future that the young woman had guessed may have not happened but the danger to Cordelia had been real. He didn’t need to be convinced or understand what danger Cordelia would be in the presence of Angelus, any Angelus. He already knew that. It had been his greatest fear as he grew more and more dependent on Cordelia’s friendship. Angelus could never touch her. His stomach churned and the room got smaller. Angelus had already touched her.

Fred swirled to face the ashen vampire. “Wolfram & Hart started all this because they found a prophecy…”

“Fred, shut up.”

“No, Cordy, I’ve thought about it and I thing you are wrong, Angel ‘little a’ needs to know.” She turned again to face the vampire. “They found a prophecy- the vampire with a soul will be damned if…”

“If Angelus kills Angel’s seer. There in five words or less.” Cordelia glared at the other brunette.

Angel switched his gaze back and forth from both women. Cordelia had cut off the other woman again. There was something that Cordelia didn’t want him to know. The fog of fear cleared at his need to know rose. “What was the prophecy, the longer version?”

Cordelia took a deep breath. “Who remembers all the stupid words?” she shot another glare at Fred, silently demanding her to stay quiet. “It was what I said. You would lose your soul if Angelus killed me. Your soul was bound,” she pointed to the end of the solid line, “so Satan toadies couldn’t bring out Angelus in our present, so the started the time crap to get an available Angelus. Nutshell version but accurate. Right.” She looked back at Fred.

Fred shook her head but agreed.

“Can we move on NOW?” Cordelia punched at the pillow and then clutched it tighter.

"Wait, my soul is bound, when does that happen."

“Weren’t you listening?” Fred shook her head, picked up her pen, and pointed to the approximate spot Cordelia had indicated.

"None of that is important." Cordelia said into her pillow.

"Angel's soul being bound is pretty damn important for us and you, that's for damn sure."

"Gunn.” Cordy shook her head and pleaded with flashing eyes for Fred to go to another topic.

Angel looked again at Cordelia. The tension in her body had risen to an unimaginable level. He studied Gunn and Fred. Each wore different expressions. The woman’s sad, the man’s angry.

“Cordy,” Fred tried with a soft voice to apologize.

“Hurry up.”

Fred nodded reluctantly at her sharp tone. “Whatever happened in that future was fixed. Cordelia was saved. Angelus 1 sent back and the line continued. We had hoped it was over then. Wesley 2 had told Wesley 1 to make sure that Wolfram & Hart’s spell caster was killed. That was done.” Fred paused, pulling up another sheet.

Angel looked in fear at the piece of paper. How many were there. Hadn’t it been bad enough already? The pain was an ice pick straight through each temple, spearing him completely through. He glanced at the humans wondering if they could see it.

“Things were fine. Great, even. Wesley had found a potion that eased the pain of the visions for Cordelia. Things were just good. But, then one day after a vision, Cordy fell unconscious. We didn’t know at first why. Lorne read her and said that she didn’t have a soul, that she would remain in that comatose state until, well, until we got her soul back.”

Angel’s body tensed once again or had it ever relaxed. Never, ever ask a question that you couldn’t bear to hear the answer too. He looked back to Cordelia. Her head was firm on the pillow, her knuckles clenched around the material, squeezing it until the feathers escaped and took flight.

“Angel A went straight to Wolfram & Hart, but got nowhere. All the lawyers he …questioned didn’t know. Wesley researched. Gunn and I helped wherever we could. Then a couple days later a letter showed up from Sunnydale dated 1998.” Fred’s pencil went to the area on her line. “It was from Cordy.” Fred smiled at the young woman on the bed. “Wesley was really impressed that you did that. He was.”

Fred turned to Angel. “See, Cordy had written a letter in the past and arranged to have it delivered to us in the future, well our present. In it she told us where she was, exactly when she was and that not only Angelus 1 was there, but also Angelus 2 and that she was dating a guy named Xander. Who's Xander? Why were you dating him?"

"Fred." Cordelia pleaded.

"Good question, the guy was a moron." Angel grumbled.

"Angel, shut up." Cordelia shook her head. "Fred, please. Stop editorializing."

"I...all right. Wolfram & Hart had transported Cordy's soul depositing it in her teenage body and then sent Angelus 1 Sunnydale 1998. Cordy?”

“What.” She said in a defensive tone.

“Your turn?”

“There’s no…fine." Cordelia grimaced at Fred's unrelenting stare. "I woke up in my old bedroom. Freaked. Went to school to try to figure out what the hell happened. Avoided going into closets with Xander, listened to Buffy whine, put up with Harmony.” Cordy shot a look at Gunn’s moan.

“Sorry girl, but she’s a ditz vampire.”

“She wasn’t then, just a ditz, okay. And you tried to pick her up until you found out. About her being a vampire, I mean.”

“Who's Harmony?” Fred asked.

“A ditz vampire that tried to get us all eaten by Amway Vamps, before you’re time.” Gunn groaned again.

“She was a…friend of mine in high school, who happened to be turned and showed up in LA. I didn’t know at first. I invited her in. She was okay, didn’t bite or growl or anything. She thought she wanted to be good since she wasn’t that great at being evil. I had a vision about some freaky vamp pyramid scheme. She’d figured out how to be evil or at least follow those that were and set up us. God, she was always such a sheep.”

“And Barbie let her go.”

“Whatever.” Cordelia mumbled into her pillow. “Anyway, I realized that Angel of 1998 had already celebrated Buffy’s birthday and was running around evil and in leather pants. Angelus 2. My plan was just to stay out of his way, lived through it once figured I could again. But, I had a vision and then another. During both, I ended up facing Angelus 2, then Angelus 1, and 2. That’s when I wrote the letter. Angel showed up and then….”

Fred cleared her throat interrupting. “Sorry, but after Angel A left for 1998, Wesley, Gunn and I took a potion that he found that would keep our memories intact in case of a time line change. It worked. I think. It must of because that’s the only way Angel B shows up on the charts. I don’t remember the change though do you, Charles?”

“Only know the bad ass effects.”

“Me, too.”

Fred picked up another piece of paper. “We do have some information from what Wesley told us. He had talked to Cordelia when her soul was returned the first time and then when she was a vampire. Cordy?”

“What?” Cordelia buried her head in the pillow again.

“What do you know about Angel B?”

Cordelia groaned. “Angel A showed up at my house. He knocked at the door. He was wearing the shirt I told him to in the letter. I let him in. We were …happy to see each other. A while later, Angel B came in, he had been at my bedroom window too, like the Angeluses, I guess he was a perv, too. I didn’t see the Angeluses, neither did Angel A, I guess we…anyway Angel A could sense B’s soul so he didn’t go ‘grry’ ballistic. Angel B told us why Wesley sent him.”

“Why?” Fred stared at the young woman holding her pencil ready.

Cordelia sighed and looked at the floor. “Angel B said that Wesley, Gunn and Fred came to him in his future - the future that had resulted from what went wrong in 1998.”

“What future?” Angel growled.

Cordelia peered over her arm at the vampire, “Angel B, when he was Angelus in 1998 noticed that me, or well, my teenage self had been marked. He didn’t tell me exactly what happened. I think he did tell Angel but I was locked in the bathroom or maybe it was when I went to get Angel a shirt. I don’t know for sure. All I know is that Angel was about to go in a major brood mode and Angel B was already there. It seems whatever Angelus B did after noticing the marks, etc., I ended up in a coma and stayed in one.”

Fred nodded her head rapidly. “Coma? That would explain why Angel B wasn’t damned. You were alive, sort of. I wonder why he didn’t just turn you.”

“Gee, Fred, that was my question too.” Cordelia scrunched her head back into the pillow. “I don’t know what his future was like, except that it was sad and alone. It made him very scowly and dark, even more so than him,” she nudged up at Angel.

The vampire grinded his teeth together, he didn’t like any of this. How much longer could this go on? How many more times was he going have to hear that Angelus had harmed Cordelia?

“He told Angel…A and I that Wesley had sent him back to make sure my 17-year-old body wasn’t marked. We were warned. I was shoved off to Buffy’s with some cock and bull tale that I was scared. Angel A and B went to take care of the Angeluses and then…” Cordelia buried her head in her arms refusing to speak any more, silent sobs wracking her body.

Fred looked to Angel expecting him to go to her but the vampire just stared unmoving. She ran, kneeling by the bed as Gunn rubbed Cordy’s back. “It’s okay girl. You didn’t know and Wesley didn’t listen later." Gunn said with more gentleness than even he knew he was capable of.

“Shh, Cordy. It IS okay. Angel ‘little a’ will go and make it better. Promise.” Fred clutched at her arms, rubbing the skin trying to give comfort.

“That’s when we think it must have happened.” Fred brushed at her face turning to the vampire. “Angel A, we thought, came through the Portal with the orb containing Cordy’s soul. We left them alone. The next day, Angel or rather Angelus B3, took me into his room I think to feed me to Cordy, she was a vampire. “ Fred glanced again at Cordelia. “You were, I saw you so did Wesley and Charles.” Fred said apoplectically.

Cordelia waved her on staring at a spot on the carpet, her silent sobs now deep breaths.

“Cordy the vamp killed Angelus B3, told me to go back into my room, stay there and call Wesley. When Wesley and Gunn got there, Cordy the vamp was still in the bedroom, she had left to get some pig’s blood she said she had been starving and that it tasted gross. She told Wesley what had happened. Begged him to go back and stop Angel B from killing Angel A and then she told him to kill her said it was too dangerous for us if she stayed alive. He did. And then he went back.” Fred shortened her former lecture mode to get the information out quickly trying to cushion the details from her crying friend.

“Wesley killed Cordy? How’d he know she didn’t have a soul? She protected you all. She killed Angelus. How did he know?”

“She told him.” Fred blinked up. “He did what she asked.”

“And he just did it?"

“Angel, stop.” Cordelia voice cracked. “Wesley did what he had to what was right to protect our family. I was a vampire without a soul."

Angel shook his head.

“Angel,” Cordelia got up, the redness around the rim of her eyes the only sign of her tears. “You were dead. I had a soul in 1998, my body somewhere in some weird time flux whatever. Wesley did what he had to, to try to make it whole again. Save you and bring me home.”

Angel stilled, choking on the idea of Cordelia lying in a pile of dust on the very floor he was standing on. “Angelus came back through the portal.”

Cordelia turned away from the vampire. “No, it was Angel B,” she said softly.

Angel narrowed his eyes. “The prophecy? He turned you purposely to be damned.” Angel was incredulous.

“No.”

“But, how could he….” Angel choked on a growl and even more disbelief. "You made love to him and he lost his soul?” Angel began to wish for the prophecy possibility back, his shocked gaze now landed on Cordelia.

Cordelia stared at the floor refusing to look at the vampire. Her body trembling with the tension, "I guess….I guess I thought it was Angel, there was no danger there. Angel’s soul was bound,” she whispered. “I guess that Angel B never had an epiphany or…” she shrugged.

“You guess?”

“I don’t remember any of that.” She snapped defensively. “I don’t remember having sex with that bastard or being a vampire, the last thing I remember was waking up here,” she pointed to the bed she had been laying on. “Fred running in and telling me what they thought had happened. Wesley was dead. That he hadn’t returned through the portal that some version of you was chained up. But, it wasn’t you. He was wearing the right shirt, but it wasn’t you. The ache was still there, the pain. I want him dead. I don’t care how fuckin sorry his future was.”

Fred scrunched up her nose standing. “Pain? Ache? What you felt earlier before you ran out of Buffy’s?”

Cordelia nodded.

“You still felt it.”

Cordelia nodded again.

“Cordy, you did tell Wesley.”

“I did?”

Fred nodded. “Cordy the vamp and Wesley admitted it. Before you were turned you went to Wesley saying that you thought something was wrong that you didn’t think Angel was…. you said he was acting different…didn't know you... you said you didn’t think you loved him anymore.”

“I did?”

“Wesley said he should’ve listened to you. That he should’ve trusted you-that you had been able to tell Angelus 1 from Angel. Instead, he told you that you and Angel had both been through a traumatizing ordeal and for you to give it time.” Fred finished sadly.

Cordelia shook her head taking the blame away from the absent Wesley. “I didn’t know, didn't want to know. I pushed away those feelings when I saw Angel B in Sunnydale. I wanted so much for it to be Angel that I didn’t stop to question anything beyond the shirt he was wearing. I should known as soon as he didn’t yell at me for leaving Buffy’s.”

Cordy’s voice got even stronger, her tears and sadness replaced by determination. “This is stupid and pointless. I’ll deal…with... my mistake when Angel comes home. Right now, we’re done. It’s time to do the spell.” She turned to the vampire. “Are you ready, up to speed?"

Angel wanted to say no. He wanted to shake the woman and have her explain to him how and why she was willing to sleep with him, how and why she knew the contents of his sketch pads, how and why she treated his room, his bed as hers.

He nodded.

“Good, so we’ll go.”

“Hang on, girl. You ain’t going anywhere.” Gunn shook his head.

“I’m going.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“You aren’t,” Fred nodded.

“Why not.”

“Because,” Fred crossed her arms stubbornly. “With the luck we’ve been having you’d get yourself captured by one of the Angeluses or Angel B and get turned again. Nope, no way, no how.”

Gunn cocked his head and gave a long clap. “Tell it, sister.”

“I…”

“Nope.” Fred shook her head. “I been doing this spell with Wesley for quite awhile, I know how to fix it so only one person goes through and it won’t be you, so there.” She bluffed.

“I’m….”

“NO.” Gunn and Fred shouted.

“Angel,” Cordelia whined pleading with the vampire.

“You’re kidding, right. Does that really work?”

“Please Angel,” she pouted, her lip trembling and her wide eyes gazing at the vampire.

Angel had forgotten how bewitching those eyes could be begging him to laugh with her or do anything…He jerked up. “NO.”

“Hmmph.” She turned and flopped on the bed. “Not fair.”


Part 30

Angel half listened to Fred’s repeated instructions as he watched Cordelia from the corner of his eyes. She was moving around, picking up trash, wiping down the dusty desks, hmmphing over and over again at the signs of neglect. Any tears or tension from earlier had seemed to evaporate once the explanations were over and Angel said he was ready to go.

She turned suddenly. “Angel,”

Angel stopped his jump. Did she catch him staring? “What?”

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten?”

“I…”

“Go eat. Can’t have you weak with hunger or anything like that.” She zoomed on Gunn and Fred. “What about Angel A? If I was in a coma, he was probably being stupid. Did he eat before he went back? I didn’t ask. Shoot.”

Fred shrugged. “I do know that Wesley made him eat regularly and try to sleep.”

“Angel,” she called going into the kitchen. “Damn, Angel,” she looked around. “You do know that letting your living environment deteriorate is a major sign of depression.” She grabbed at cup he was about to put in the microwave. Cordelia held it as she went to the cupboards. “You need something extra,” she put a dash of Tabasco sauce in his blood. “It will give you energy.” Cordelia scrunched up her face and added a few more dashes.

Angel inwardly groaned. Why was she always messing with his blood? Now he would have to drink it. He sighed. Wait. He was a cold heartless bastard. Cordy had said so or words to that effect. It wouldn’t make her mad or hurt her feelings if he dumped it down the drain. She’d expect it. Angel snatched the cup and drank it. He needed to get her out of his hotel.

Cordelia smiled. “Good, uh.”

“No.”

“Silly. Here," she pulled another container out of the refrigerator. "Take this along for Angel A, I don’t trust that he’s been eating right and I know my parent’s frig won’t have any blood and he can’t…well, he just may need this. Okay.”

“You’re not going to ruin Angel A’s, did that change- I finally convince you not to mess with my blood.”

“Hmmph.” She turned and walked out.

***

“Ready,” Fred asked. “I’m using the same equation…”

“Stop.” Cordelia waved her hand.

“Cordy?”

“Look what Angel’s wearing I’ll never trust him,” she took off for the stairs.

Gunn shrugged. “She likes to dress you.”

“She always did.”

“Yeah, but now you let her, you are so whipped in future.” Gunn laughed.

“Charles.” Fred smacked at his arm.

Angel growled and moved his feet to the stairs as Cordelia’s loud voice called for him. He was half way up the stairs when he realized that Gunn was laughing even harder and the girl Fred was giggling.

***

“What is it? I want this over with…”

“I know too get back to your plans of revenge, blah, blah. Where’s the shirt I bought you, the purple one.” Cordleia stood in his closet, pushing at the hangers.

“Uh.’

“The shirt, dumbass.” She leaned back and studied the clothes. “I know you didn’t give it away with my stuff, so where is it.” Cordelia turned her hands on her hips.

“I.” He took a deep breath and felt his head start to pound at her glare. Maybe, the pain would go away if he just did what she asked. Angel went to his second drawer and pulled out a tissue wrapped shirt.

“Ah,” Cordy clapped and ran to him. “Okay, put this on and when you get to my parent’s house, tell me that you haven’t gone shopping yet and that Angel will be coming with the right one.”

“Uh.”

“Don’t worry I’ll understand."

“You'll understand?"

“Well, follow up quickly with when you are, but this will keep the door from being slammed in your face or if Angel is already there- you from being dead dead.”

“This will?”

“Purple is a very important color to me. It’s become my favorite. Now, hurry.” Cordelia turned as she headed to the door coming back to the vampire just as quickly. “I really do appreciate that you haven’t tried to kick us out anymore, I do appreciate that you can remember that you do love us. You are worth so much more than you think you are. I do love you.” She leaned up and kissed him on his cheek. “Now hurry up and change so you can go save us.” Cordelia smiled.

Angel watched as she ran out of the room. Why exactly again did he cut her out of his life? He was still wondering as he buttoned up the purple shirt.


Part 31

Angel knew his goal but he couldn’t help but stop and look around at the empty tree-lined streets. It felt unfamiliar. He had gotten use to the busy freeways and sidewalks of LA. Good or bad, life wandered the LA streets at night. Ignorance, stupidity or just the need to get out and move but the people in LA didn’t hide inside. He had forgotten how deceptively quiet Sunnydale was, a peaceful façade hiding the real dangers of the hell mouth. Its inhabitants were smarter than those of LA.

Angel sped up his pace to the high-fenced gate positioned far away from the street. Memories, thoughts aside, he did have a goal. Sunnydale was a past the held bitter and sweet memories both reaching the extreme of each at times but they were just memories. Angel needed to get to his present and future.

The Cordelia he saw in his bedroom was an image he never thought he would see again. Everything was there within the young woman- beauty, strength, courage, and heart. The only difference was that she knew him more than he thought possible. How did that happen? Did he even want it to happen? Angel shook his head. The only thing he needed to want was Cordelia Chase placed safely beyond Angelus, any Angelus. Angel quickened his stride leaping over the wrought iron protection that couldn’t keep him out.

Angel stood at the door, took a deep breath, and knocked. His eyes locked with the beautiful teenage girl.

He had heard Cordy, Gunn, and the girl Fred explain but it was still a bit of a shock to see a teenage Cordelia Chase in front of him. She was the same but different. It was more than just physical. In this form, youth and energy embraced her body. Three years later she changed. The beauty was still there in abundance but the eyes had become knowing of the evils of the world, the naivety and righteous indignation at the weirdness and danger had become acceptance. He saw it all as the young woman glared. The body was 17 years old but the hazel eyes that held his were ones that had seen too much in her young life. Old feelings of guilt sprung up, knowing that her association with him was the primary source of her knowledge. God, what had he done to her?

“Go away.” She moved to slam the door.

“I haven’t had time to go shopping yet,” Angel blurted out feeling like an idiot.

The girl stopped, her gaze narrowing. “Well, that’s new. Does that mean I don’t get one of your sick little gifts. Well, gosh darn and here I thought I was special.” She brought her arm up again to slam the door.

“The shirt.” He pulled at the garment, groaning inwardly. What kind of gifts had Angelus been leaving? Angel decided he didn't want to know. His knowledge of Angelus' past gifts to his victims of choice was more than sufficient to ignite the pain in his stomach and the pounding against his skull again. And what was with Cordelia's attitude she had to know that sarcasm and disdain would only draw more interest to her if he had been one of the Angeluses. Why did she even open the door? Angel groaned again. Stupid thought. When had the Cordelia he knew the best ever been timid. She didn't even have the good sense to quake in fear when she was scared.

She raised a suspicious brow looking closer, contemplating the shirt. Cordelia leaned back and studied the vampire, staring into his dark brown eyes. “Hmmph. I gave you one simple task and you mess it up. My favorite is the blue-based...Hold on.” She stopped and stared back at the shirt. “What are you trying to pull? That shirt is ruined. You well...I.... It’s not supposed to have any buttons. Have you gone shopping again or taken up sewing? What's going on?

Angel wanted to just grunt 'Uh?' at the shopping and sewing but he figured that would get the door slammed. He spoke quickly. “You, Gunn and Fred came to our past to send me to warn you that….”

“Back up. You’re not…what past? Not that far judging from the shirt and you did have a soul when I gave it to you so you’re not either of these Angeluses. Oh, my god, not a third one?" She stared again, realizing suddenly. “Or..."she groaned. “ I got beige Angel. What kind of reinforcement is that? Darla’s not here just little old me. Where’s my Angel?”

The amazement and guilt were gone. The teenager may have the physical body of a 17-year-old Cordelia Chase, but the glare, biting tone and reckless courage was his Cordy. Angel didn’t have time to dwell or brood on the adverse effects his association had on the young woman’s life, as it was he thought he was being marvelously patient.

“Your Angel?” Angel rolled his eyes he was as much as her Angel than one from a year from now. Hell, he knew her.

"Yeah, MY Angel, where is he?"

Angel scowled. "'Your' Angel is coming with the right shirt. Can I come in now?"

“I don’t know. You fired me.”

“Cordelia, really I was sent to save you- not to be bitched at.” His patience was running thin.

“Sarcasm? Really, do you think you should take the chance that I won’t just stake your sarcastic beige ass?” She reached out and pulled at the vampire’s leather coat. “Come in. Something really bad must’ve of happened if I resorted to scrapping the bottom of the barrel for an Angel with a soul.”

“You were a lot nicer when you came to ask for help.” She was definitely his Cordy. He knew this because not only was she a pain in the ass-it effected him. There was a time that he could ignore her without having to beat down the urge to hold her, laugh with her or just react to her. He gritted his teeth, striving to retain the immunity he had built up against her over the last few months.

“Would have to be now wouldn’t I? Hmmph. Whatcha got there?” she noticed the bulge in the vampire’s leather coat.

“You said Angel A might be hungry.”

“A?”


“It makes it less confusing, I think, or at least that was what that Fred girl said you seemed to agree. She labeled everyone- the Angels and Angeluses.” Angel shook his head, pictures of dark figures with his face skulking and darting around Sunnydale like some twisted Shakespearian farce flashing through his brain. He shook his head to get rid of the image. Thinking about it would drive him nuts.

Cordelia shrugged at Fred’s need to be organized and then looked back to the vampire with a questioning glance. “I told you to bring it and you did?” She cocked her head.

“Yes, after I drank your Tabasco spiced concoction.”

Cordelia licked her lips, chewing at them a little. “You were being nice. Why?” She took the container.

Angel considered and answered truthfully, realizing that cold stoicism wouldn’t get him anywhere with this Cordy. And Wolfram & Hart, Darla, were so far away. Angel's priority had to be making sure that Cordelia was safe and to do that she would have to trust him. “Because as you pointed out I do still care about my family.”

“You listened?”

“You were convincing.”

“Oh. I wasn’t then though was I?” she glanced up at the vampire. “This is weird. I’ve already had this conversation with you, but oh well. I am sorry that I got angry before I got worried and then it was too late for me help you and I just…you hurt my feelings and I got mad.”

“Don’t, Cordy. You told me that I wasn’t ready, that you weren’t ready. I’ll wait to have my own conversation, okay.” Angel had begun to think maybe some day they would both be ready.

Cordelia cocked her head.

Angel watched becoming amazed again. She expected Angelus and she got him-the wrong Angel in her point of view, yet she was calm. She had faced more than one version of Angelus and she was calm. Angel’s thoughts veered as he noticed something more important than any of his previous thoughts. His eyes widened. “When were you marked again?” He tugged at her collar. “You didn’t have these when you were 17.”

Cordelia stepped back, moving his hand away. “Weird, uh. They showed up with the visions and me. Did anyone happen to mention to you where my body is?”

“Safe, Wolfram & Hart only sent your soul.”

“Bastards.”

“I agree.”

“I course you would you’re still getting a woody at the mere thought of getting revenge on them.”

Angel decided not to growl. "Why didn't you tell me that you had the marks when you were sent here."

"How do I know? I wasn't there for this supposed Oprah session. Probably didn't think it was any of your business or may be you didn't ask." She crossed her arms purposely across her chest.

"Not my...” His frustrated retort was cut off as he sensed a presence near the door.

“Good ‘grr’ or bad ‘grr’” Cordelia's defiant tone change immediately to a questioning one at the vampire's intent expression.

Angel moved closer to whisper in her ear, stopping her from shoving at his sudden invasion of her space. "He's skulking so I'd say not good. But, he's not coming in. And keep your voice down."

"Hmmph. Coming in? Oh, right, I invited you in, great.” She huffed in the confines of the vampire’s arms. “Great way to save me," she tried to smack out but Angel held her hand to his chest. “You, coming in and bringing all the Angelus' in with you." She huffed.

"Shut up."

"You can't tell me to shut up."

"Please, I need some answers. I think maybe you left out other important parts out of your story. And keep it down-Vampire hearing.” He jerked his head to the door.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes to sharp brown glints. "What answers," she whispered.

Angel gave a brief nod in an acknowledgement of her anger and approval at her lowered voice. "You said that Angel A knocked. You let him in. You were happy to see each other. And after awhile Angel B came in- your bedroom.”

"Who?"

"The first attempt to send an Angel, or second rather."

Cordelia scrunched up her face. "That screwed up too?"

"It seems so."

"How?"

"Later.” Angel turned back towards the window keeping his hands on her shoulders, trying to discern the figure of a vampire. "I can't tell from here if the version out there as a soul or not. But, Angelus would just come in and Angel A would knock or break the door down."

"He wouldn't break my parents door."

"He would if he sensed me in here with you."

Cordelia nodded. Okay. That was true. She looked worriedly at the door. That would be a bitch to explain. If that happened, she'd just have to make sure Angel fixed it before they went home.

"So, most likely its Angel B. He was told to watch and not interfere unless you as you are now or then or whatever were in danger of being marked by Angelus again. It happened before that's how things screwed up the first time. Angelus saw them on your teenage body after Angelus 1 was taken care of and your soul was returned." Angel stared again at the scars on her.

"Oh, so even though I'd be safe in my present, I won't survive my past. Well that just sucks. So, when does Angelus show up to do the deed?"

Angel shook his head at her nonchalant attitude. Was the danger of Angelus so common place to Cordelia that she just accepted it?

"You said Angel B entered after Angel A came. So, it must be soon." Angel stopped his hand from touching her neck. "But you didn’t say anything about an Angelus being here, only Angel A, then Angel B. And you already have the marks. You said...What?" Angel pulled her back as Cordelia’s expression changed to understanding and she tried to yank away. "Cordy, I need to know or I can't help."

She scrunched up her nose at the vampire and then took a deep breath. "You said that I said, god that's confusing, that Angel A came, happiness, blah blah, awhile later Angel B and that he's been watching me, the house and stuff. He came in the bedroom.”

"Right."

"And, the only reason this Angel B was supposed to interfere was if Angelus was about to mark me."

"Repeating everything I say isn't helping.” Angel said in exasperation.

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "It wasn't Angelus. Eww, if Angel B came in that meant he was watching us. That’s icky."

"Excuse me." Angel stared his jaw gapping.

“Icky, to think he was just out there lurking outside my bedroom, icky.”

“Not that.”

“That is too icky.”

“Okay, that’s icky. Now, concentrate on the other part of your babble.”

“Babble?” She glared.

“Statement, then. Not Angelus, then who marked you.”

“Gee, not Angelus, then who?" She tapped her finger on her chin. "Let's see, who’s left, genius. Hmm.” She cocked her brow at Angel, waiting for the light bulb to go off.

She rolled her eyes at Angel's remaining cluelessness. "Gee, maybe it would help if you took a whiff."

"Just tell...Me?” Angel balked a disbelieving tone.

"You wish."

"No, I don't.” Angel said quickly, too quickly.

"Well, good because I wouldn't want you too either. Hmmph.” She glared.

"Cordy, who marked you."

"Angel A, dumbass."

"You said I didn't...."

"You didn't, he did. ‘Happiness, blah, blah -.After awhile’," she waved her hand in the air between their bodies. "I guess I didn't want to tell you, because you’re a JERK. When Angel came we.... not that I know for sure...well actually I do, because that's what would've happened. We would've been REALLY happy to see each other."

Angel dropped his jaw. Things were getting surreal again. . "So,” he started slowly, “’happy to see each other’ is code for Angel A marking you.” Angel tested the words around his tongue. Yep, they sounded insane. “ Why would I..."

"Not you, him. And happiness blah, blah means making love, stupid. Then, maybe, probably the other because Angel would be a little freaky and insecure with me here with all the Angeluses and well… So."

"Does that happen a lot?" Angel was too numb to form any other thought. He did what? With Cordy?

Cordelia scrunched up her face. "Does what?"

"Any of it?" Angel said weakly.

"You sure you want to hear this. You're all scowly. Don't worry. You want me around in the future, it's in your now that you're an asshole."

Angel closed his eyes. It all made sense. Well it didn't not by any stretch of the imagination, certainly not his. But, it would explain Cordy's knowledge of his sketches, her comfortableness in his bed, her saying that she and Angel had fixed Angelus' marks. How in the hell had he and Cordy gotten from where they were in his time to this future? They had some how become more than friends, more than lovers. The bond she was describing was beyond his comprehension.

"How?"

"How, what?"

"Did this happen?"

“It just did. We talked about it and did it. That’s all.”


”That’s not all. There is no way I would ever discuss marking you, much less mark you.”

“That’s right. Because all YOU can think of is killing or boinking Darla. God forbid, you would ever touch me. Well, guess what you do, a lot and you like it. Now, get out of my bubble.” She voice started to rise as she pushed harder against his grip on her shoulders.

“Cordelia, there is a big difference from wanting to make love to you and wanting to…” Angel paused, staring at the marks and then into the flashing hazel eyes and the warmth that was seeping like air through his clothes. Okay scratch that thought, “to actually doing it. I wouldn’t.” He finished he voice choking in his throat.

Cordelia stared up her eyes conveying contradicting knowledge.

“I…” Angel shook his head refusing to believe the evidence before him.

“Yes, Angel you would. You were scared to, but you did want to and we both needed you to. Angelus had said that I was his, that he had claimed me. I didn’t accept that, but you did and it made you all growly, angry, jealous and pissed at me for letting it happen…”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you.” Angel was happy that he could deny at least that part of her explanation.

“You did, you didn’t mean to, but you did. I had let Angelus bite me, he was threatening to kill one of the girls in the Inn, I didn’t know what marks were, I just hoped that he for once he was telling the truth and wouldn’t kill Molly. He marked me and killed her. You couldn’t make that go away so you made them yours, you claimed me with my very willing consent.”

Oh god. Every word Cordelia had said was true. He had and he still was. Angel leaned resting his forehead against hers. “You trusted me that much after every thing I had done.”

“Angel, a year had almost passed we were friends again, better friends even.” Cordelia explained softly. " We had the big denial love thing going. You told me after the whole Angelus stuff or rather because of the prophecy.”

“I told you I loved you because of a prophecy that said if Angelus killed you because you were my seer, I would be damned.”

“Did I tell you that?”

“That’s not true.”

Cordelia shrugged. “It’s fairly accurate, but not because I was your seer, though that bond probably is a part of it because it did bring us closer but no- the prophecy was about your demon killing your soul mate. You told me that it was me I think you just did it stop me from nagging you about sneaking off to Sunnydale to see Buffy. See, you hadn’t told me that your soul was bound yet. So, I figured Buffy, sex, Angelus, Buffy dead, damnation-made perfect sense to me. I guess, I didn’t tell you that part either because you wouldn’t have believed it and you would’ve gotten even more weird and freaky and not helped us.”

Angel didn’t bother to react. Soul mates with Cordelia. Why not? It was no stranger than her loving him in their future and letting him claim her.

“I told you- you wouldn't believe me, now let go."

“I....” Angel scowled.

“You’re about to get freaky, aren’t you? You know, you could stop being a personal space invader anytime and go all freaky across the room.”

“No, I’m trying to think about what to do with Angel B outside.”

“And that thinking requires you get into my space? Geez, Angel,” she moved as his arms tightened and pressed her into his body. “How many weapons did you bring?” She nudged at the hard objects in his jacket that were nudging into her body. “That better be your sword, buster.”

Angel groaned thinking about it. He was pretty positive that her body in his arms was only creating a very slight hard on, barely noticeable. He shifted his hips just to be on the safe side. “Sword, crossbow, stakes, and tranq gun.”

“What army were you planning to fight?”

Angel shrugged. He leaned back in placing his forehead against hers. “Angel B doesn’t know I’m here, he expects Angel A and we need to get him in here before Angel A shows up,” speaking quietly.

“Let’s invite him in.”

“Angel A isn’t supposed to know he’s here. I need to get him in here before Angel A…”

“There’s an Angel A and an Angel B, what are you? You can’t just be Angel that wouldn’t right, Angel A is Angel.”

Angel just stared. He wanted to shake the girl and shout he was Angel.

“Well.” Cordelia insisted at the vampire’s reluctant silence.

“Angel ‘little a’.” He finally admitted.

Cordelia burst out laughing. “That was Fred’s idea wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. She’s crazy.”

“You love her. She’s family. And she’s not crazy, she’s really smart and unique.”

“If you say so. I need to kiss you.”

“Excuse me, I don’t think so, buster. You maybe Angel ‘little a’ but I’m waiting for the ‘big A’.”

“Cute. I need to get Angel B in here. If he thinks that I’m going to mark you, he’ll come in.”

“You sure and hell aren’t marking me.” She tried to get out of his embrace. "You said you didn't want to."

“Good god, of course I’m not. You can’t be marked by any of the Angels or the Angelus, not in that body. You said those came with your soul…” Angel paused. “That’s just really…”

“Neat, uh.” She smiled.

“That wasn’t the word I was looking for.” He frowned.

“It is neat. You, well not you, but Big A marked my soul as well as my body, neat. Must the soul mate thing.”

Angel shook his head. “Shut up and kiss me.”

“No. You aren’t…”

Angel leaned in stopping her words. Shit. It was kissing fire and heaven. It was sin and lust, spicy wine and the sun. It was pure. Angel couldn’t help but pull her tighter into his embrace.

Cordelia tensed her mind spinning and her body reacting instinctively to the kiss. Her desire recognized Angel immediately warring with her mind’s shouts of otherwise. Her resistance weakened as her mind tired of the fight came up with the livable rationalization that it was Angel, just ‘little a’- he would grow to be big A, so it wasn’t really cheating.

Angel growled as she responded, flicking and teasing at his searching tongue. He pulled back slightly, refusing to get lost in her taste and body. He trailed kisses down her throat, reaching the marks. His scent, hers, her blood pounding at the surface. It was too easy, too hard. Angel forced his demon visage to turn, merely brushing at the scars, and not completing the act that his instincts craved; thankful and conversely angry that Cordy was tensing her body telling him to stop.

Angel growled the combined scent, the taste of the skin. It ….He swung Cordelia behind him as the door burst open. His gold eyes glared at the matching pair. His face.

Angel watched steadily, yanking at Cordelia, urging her not to speak.

The other vampire’s face reverted to that of the handsome man, his dark eyes now glued on the couple.

“You have a soul, who are you?” Angel was not completely sure but fairly certain by the lack of Cordelia’s squealing about shirts and such.

“Wesley, Gunn and a girl Fred sent me.”

“Why?” Angel asked clearing the demon from his face.

“They found me in the future, said that it was the wrong one.”

Angel nodded at the confirmation he need. He shoved Cordelia and whipped out a small crossbow, shooting a bolt through the other vampire’s heart. The dust hit the floor, the vampire’s expression of surprise the last thing to disintegrate.

Cordelia gapped back and forth from the vampire holding the weapon to the dust pile. She blinked. Angel ‘little a’ was a selfish cold bastard, but he was also her Angel evidenced by the kiss. It was same. He was the one that she fell in love with, before he turned into a selfish cold bastard. She strode up to the vampire smacking him.

“What was that for? He was…”

“You kissed me, I told you not to.”

“I had to get him in here.”

“So, you could kill him. I thought he was here to help."

“That’s why I was sent back. Angel B killed Wesley and Big A,” he said the Big A part sharply. She had responded to his kiss. Big A, 'little a', his ass, she had responded. Wait a minute was that a good thing or a bad thing? Angel thought about it. In concept it was great, wonderful even. As a practical matter it just made things more difficult. He wanted to kiss her again.

Cordelia’s eyes widened as she flopped on the sofa. “Wesley? Angel?” She jumped up. “He killed them? Oh god.” Tears and nausea twirled and burbled in her stomach.

Angel went to her immediately, forgetting momentarily about kissing but rather calming the agitated young woman. “It hasn’t happened yet. It won't now. Cordy,” he reached for her shoulders. “It hasn’t happened.” He repeated.

Cordelia gulped. “Why?”

“You told me that the easy answer was he liked Angel A’s future better. You said I could ask him before I killed him, but like you, I decided that I could give a damn. I didn’t like the future he brought with him.”

“What?”

“Not now. We’re leaving.”

“No. I want to know and Angel’s coming here.”

“I know. He will probably be here soon. But so will Angelus 1, he’ll find you and he can get in. Angelus 2, hopefully, is out stalking Buffy and we won’t have to worry about him. There’s no reason he would be interested in you unless he’s already seen the marks.” Angel looked up at Cordelia’s silence. “He has?”

She nodded.

“We’re definitely leaving.”

“But, Angel.”

“Leave him a note.”

“A note?”

“Tell him to go to the old apartment.”

“Angelus 2 still has his keys.”

“You know this how?”

“He took me there the other night.”

Angel went back to the young woman, reaching for her neck, staring intently at the wounds. His eyes scrutinized her body for any visible signs of injury.

Cordelia smacked him away. “He didn’t bite me. I got away.”

Angel nodded more at the fact that scars looked covered and not fresh and he couldn’t detect any evidence of other injuries rather than at her assurance. Fear and relief warred in his body. Fear that she had been alone with Angelus and relief that she had escaped unharmed.

“He won’t be there, he’ll be here.”

“But…”

“He won’t look there. He’ll check out the school, Buffy, Xander, or Giles' when he finds you gone. When he can’t find you he’ll follow your scent. Angelus 1 though will just follow the scent. But, with any luck, I…Angel A will get to the apartment before he does. If not I’ll just tranquilize everyone and sort them out later.”

Cordelia looked back at the dust pile. “How do I know that you won’t betray Angel?”

“Betray myself?”

“That’s what you’ve been doing for the last several months, betraying us, your mission, who you’ve become. How can I know that I can I trust you.”

“Because, no matter how fucked up my present is or I am, I’ve got it on good authority that it gets better, that soon the good days will outnumber the bad. I’m not giving that up just to jump over the crap in between.”

***

“Cordy,” Angel came into the kitchen. “Hurry up” He urged then stared. “What are you doing?”

“Angel maybe hungry.” She said as she put the cinnamon back in spike rack and placed the doctored blood on top of her note. “He’s going to be mad. Cinnamon has a calming effect. It works, you know that.”

Angel shook his head. Remembering the first time he heard that nonsense and was forced to drink the spiced blood. It hadn’t been the cinnamon that had calmed him but the presence of the young woman that cared enough to try. That was his Cordy choosing a spice to fit the occasion.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just had wondered why you didn’t send that back spiced. You made me drink your concoction for 'energy'. Now, I realize that you wanted to let yourself do it for me. Gauge the occasion and then pick.”

“Do you have any idea how confusing and stupid that sounded?”

“Yeah.” Angel nodded. “Ready?”

“Are you sure my parent's door isn't broken?"

"Yes for the fifth time."

"Angel B barged in, are you sure?"

"Cordy, he didn't break the door. You didn't lock it." Angel gave her the same answer he did when she first asked. "Why didn't you lock it?" He added with scowl.

"I did. But, I had to unlock it to open it."

"And that's another thing, what were you thinking opening the door?"

"I had to let you in, duh."

"But you didn't know it was me, I could've been Angelus."

"Pfft, Angelus doesn't knock. You did."

Angel wanted to growl at her patronizing tone. He knew Angelus better than she did. "Let's go." He shook his head at the futility of arguing with her logic. He never won even when he was right.

Continue on...