Title: This Time It’s Real
Author: Anne
Posted: 04-30-2002
Disclaimers: ATS, BTVS not mine never mine, I bow to Joss and Co. imagination and ownership.
Spoilers: up to Sleep Tight. (maybe some mention of Cordy’s new powers) Oh, Groo doesn’t exist in the story for now, and if he gets mentioned, I’ll warn you and any mention will be a passing reference only.
Couples: Read the challenge, but also know I’ve never written anything but C/A and happy endings and I don’t plan to start now.
Comments: none really except this is an answer to a challenge posted by Muff – April 2002 posted at Stranger Things. Oh, thanks to everyone that read VampSmack Down and gave feed back. And now it’s Muff’s turn to take the blame for one of my stories.
Challenge: Issued by Muff
Cordelia dies
Buffy and Angel get back together but Angel is not happy
Cordelia comes back from the dead
Buffy and Cordelia fight over Angel but have to work together to save the world
Scooby gang accepts Cordy back while the fang gang is hesitant on her return: reason for this must be revealed
Optional:
Connor
Fred
Take place in either LA or Sunnydale
Big bad is your choice
Chapter 1
The group silently dispersed, each going in separate directions, each with their own thoughts about the young woman they laid to rest, expect one dark figure holding an infant. Angel’s eyes remained fixed on the freshly turned earth.
The blonde woman stopped turning back towards the vampire.
“No, Buffy.” Wesley shook his head, his eyes red from unshed tears. “Let him be for now.”
Buffy stared at her former watcher. “I’m not listening to you. They said this was all your fault. You caused this to happen.”
“Honeykins, Wesley is right about this- let Angel be.” Buffy looked up at the green demon. She had only known Lorne for two days but she did trust him. The demon had a way about him, flamboyant but all- knowing.
“He shouldn’t be alone.”
“He’s not. He has the little one back. Connor will keep him from waiting for the sunrise.” Lorne glanced over at Wesley. “You though should probably leave, he’s already tried to kill you twice, let’s not have a third attempt.”
“She was my family, no matter what happened. I loved her as much as he did.”
“No, Muffin, you didn’t.” Lorne said matter factually.
Wesley’s eyes flared then retreated to the ground. “I loved her enough.”
“Yes. But go. You were working in the red when you helped to get the little one back and any bonus points you won were wiped out when the Princess died.” Lorne turned and stared at the dark silhouette of the vampire. “Angel will need time, having you in his face right now won’t do anyone good right now.”
Wesley started to speak but stopped and then nodded. The former boss of Angel Investigation swept a redden glance over his family that he was no longer a part of. “Lorne, I…”
“Go and I know.” Lorne said sadly.
“How can you be nice to him from what I heard it was all his fault.”
“Wesley did what he thought was right, he was just horribly wrong. But he didn’t kill the Princess. She sacrificed her life to save Connor, to bring him back to Angel. It was her choice.” Lorne shrugged. “Wesley was a part of this family once and when everyone has healed maybe then he will be able to come back where he belongs.”
“Angel…”
“Angel needs to come to terms with what has happened. You can’t help him now. No one can, except his son.”
“He loved her.” Buffy’s statement came out as a question.
“Of course, she was a champion. She was Cordy.”
******************
Angel remained rooted to the spot. He wanted to say something, feel anything. He held the bundle in his arms closer; it was that small precious life that kept him from falling to the ground and giving up. Cordelia Chase was dead. Her life was gone. That vibrant sparkle of light refreshing in it’s honesty, strength and love was gone. Angel didn’t want to be a part of a world where that light was absent. But, he couldn’t leave it, not when he had Connor, not when she gave her life for his child. What were they going to do now?
Chapter 2
About six months later…
“I…” Fred buried her head in Gunn’s shoulder. Gunn circled her crying body closer.
“Man, you need us…were there,” holding out his arm to the vampire.
Angel nodded as he clasped the young black man’s hand.
“Angelface, I…” Lorne shook his head at Angel’s gaze.
“Lorne, Connor needs a home, Buffy’s offered us one. I have to go. She can’t leave Sunnydale. The Hellmouth is where she is needed.”
“And your mission, Honey cakes, is in LA.” Lorne countered. “This is your home.”
“My home….my home was taken in Quor-toth…..along with my mission. I don’t have a seer.”
“Angel, you can say her name.”
For a brief moment, pain and anger flashed in Angel’s dark emotionless eyes. “I have to go, Buffy is waiting. Goodbye.”
About a month later…
Angel stood beside the crib, his strong finger clasped by tiny little ones. He had done it. Angel had taken what Buffy offered, her love, her home and now the comfort of her body. Angel knew it was wrong to let her think that his soul was permanent. But, it really hadn’t been a lie. He had told her that it would be impossible for Angelus to return since Quor-toth. Angel just hadn’t told her that it was because any chance of his true happiness had been lost in that battle.
Angel smiled a soft smile at his son. He had Connor so it was still possible for him to have joy and a future. Cordelia gave him that. Angel closed his eyes, imagines of the young woman flashing in his mind, memories of every other thing she gave him. God, it still hurt.
“Angel.”
The dark vampire turned to the beautiful blonde.
“Come back to bed,” holding her hand out.
Angel nodded. It really hadn’t been all a lie. He did love Buffy. She had been his dream for so long. She just wasn’t Cordy, but that dream was buried deep underneath dirt in LA.
Almost three months later
Death was not certainly what she expected. Cordelia looked around the glassed in room. There were moments when she actually thought maybe she wasn’t dead. But, then the fact that she wasn’t ever tired, hungry or in need of a bathroom clued her in that she wasn’t exactly living. Of course, the white flowing gown she was wearing, the absence of her pre-death acquired hairdo and the clouds the surrounded the glass walls also were a hint that things weren’t really normal. Gee, what a surprise.
Cordelia sat on the glass floor and looked down- more clouds. Cordelia peered closer, squinting her eyes in the hope of seeing some sign of the earth. Nope. She rested her chin on an elegant hand. She wasn’t tired but she was bored. If this was heaven, it sucked. Where were the angels and harps? If she was floating in the clouds shouldn’t she have wings, halo and a harp? And what’s with the glass jailhouse. Wasn’t peace and serenity supposed to come with death? Cordelia didn’t feel at peace; she just felt bored and moving way past being beyond annoyed to angry at the silence and unanswered questions. She couldn’t even feel the satisfaction that Connor was alive because she was dead.
Cordelia remembered feeling fear as she saw the knife plunging for the small baby. She remembered the panic on Angel’s face as he realized he was too far away to stop it. But she wasn’t not when she could float above the fighting. Cordelia remembered the knife entering her breastbone, the pain of her dying. She heard Connor’s cries mingled with Angel’s yell of rage. She remembered smiling, as the last thing she saw was Connor in Angel’s arms above her fallen body. But that’s all Cordelia knew. Did her family make it back to LA? Had Angel saved Connor or was her death just a postponement to the ultimate horrible outcome. It wasn’t fair. How could she be at peace if she didn’t know? Maybe she had been wrong- maybe she didn’t make it to heaven. Cordelia was beginning to have the sneaking suspicion that she had ended up in hell.
Chapter 3
“Hey.”
Cordelia scrambled to her feet. “You again?” facing the demon that guided her through her vision killing coma birthday present.
Skip shrugged. “Sorry, it took so long but this time it wasn’t my fault. Big decisions had to be made and that can take forever. Bureaucracy is a bitch. But here I am.”
“Uhuh.” Cordelia scrunched up her face. “Can I assume that since you’re here wherever ‘here’ is, I’m not dead?”
“Oh no, your dead. This time it’s real.”
"Oh, somehow I thought it would be different. So, where am I? And why are you here? Are you dead too?"
"No, I'm alive and you are in limbo."
"Limbo?"
"Waiting place between heaven and hell. But now the waiting is over."
Cordelia scrunched up her face. "So, are you going to tell me- which will it be heaven or hell?"
"Young lady, you're a champion. Champion's don't go to hell, please. Wouldn't have any champions if that were the case. Risk, sacrifices fighting for the Powers only to end up in a fiery pit. Not really a great sales pitch to join our team.”
"Oh...okay. Um, when I'm in heaven will I know if Connor and Angel are safe? I really need to know.”
"They are and…. well..you aren't going to heaven, well not yet anyway. That's what all the delay and fuss was about."
"But, Angel and Connor are safe and I'm not going to hell," Cordelia asked to clarify.
"NO, get that talk of hell out of your mind. No, you just couldn't go to heaven right away until a decision was made. You see, beings get a little freaked when they’re ripped out of paradise. So, you were put here to avoid that if the decision was made to return you."
"I'm coming back from the dead? The Power’s can do that? Of course they can. No one stays dead anymore."
"Dead is dead, well for most beings. But, in your case you screwed things up and the Powers want you to fix them before you can go to heaven."
"What did I screw up? Connor and Angel are safe, you said so."
"Yes, but no seer. YOu didn't pass on the visions."
"I was busy."
"Don't use your self-sacrifice as an excuse. You know the rules, when you know your going to die, you pass on the visions so your warrior will continue to have a seer."
"Rules? What rules? I didn't get a handbook, you know."
"Oh, right. You were a mistake. I keep forgetting. You took to it so naturally."
"Skip, dying, hole in the back of the skull, demonized prevention method, not real natural."
Skip sighed. "True, but once you became part demon- a real natural."
"Skip, what do the Powers want?”
"You need to return to earth find an appropriate replacement and pass on the visions. Otherwise, Angel won't have a seer and his path to redemption will be halted."
"Any suggestions? And what do you mean Angel's path to redemption will be halted? He's still fighting for the Powers, isn't he? I mean, even without the visions there's evil to fight and helpless to be helped. LA is filled to the brim with both."
"He's not in LA. He is helping the slayer, but that's not where he needs to be."
"Angel is in Sunnydale with...Buffy? They’re back together? How long have I been dead? Connor's with her? What about Gunn, Fred and Wesley? Where are they? Are they in Sunnydale, too?"
"Young lady, one question at a time, please. Angel and the Slayer are together, but they aren't supposed to be. He supposed to be in LA."
"Together? As in really together? You do know what happened the last time they were 'together'- pelvic thrust and wham bam soul gone, Angelus alert. Angel wouldn’t risk it. Buffy isn't Darla. Happiness, joy, sex- a lot of dead people."
"Angelus isn't the problem. Angel's deviation from the mission is. The Powers want you to go get him back on the right track and find him an appropriate seer."
"Let me get this straight. Angel's soul is bound, no threat of evil guy. He's with the love of his life and you want me to go break them up? Again, I ask- any suggestions?"
"The Powers have faith that you can do it. That's why they’re sending you back. Once it's done you can go to heaven."
"I'll die again? Or will I be a ghost or something? I don’t want to particularly go through the dying thing again. You know it hurt last time."
Skip shrugged. "No ghost. You’ll be alive. As for the pain of dying, it’s the price you pay."
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "That's not at all comforting." She huffed. "Angel being with Buffy is really preventing his redemption? If he's helping her, why can't that count? She’s like the major good warrior. I mean he’s happy right? He’s with Buffy.”
"He's not supposed to be, I told you that. The other vampire is,” Skip avoided her last question.
“What other vampire?…Spike.” Cordelia screeched. “He doesn’t even have a soul, just a chip.”
“Surprisingly, he’s turning out okay, been a big help…well not lately. It seems that Angel’s presence in Sunnydale as been putting a damper on his desire NOT to create mayhem and trouble.”
Cordelia flopped back to the ground. “Why can’t I even die normally?”
“Sorry, but you aren’t normal.”
Cordelia blinked up to the big demon. “Thanks for reminding me. I forgot,” rolling her eyes.
“Angel needs a seer.”
Cordelia shook her head. “Who exactly am I supposed to kiss? Not Angel, I saw what they did to him.”
“No, no. That version of Angel was not really effective. You’ll know when it’s time.”
“And then I’ll die, leaving Angel again.”
“To heaven. Well, after one other thing.”
“Another?”
“Just one thing. You will have to help the slayer save the world.”
Cordelia blinked again. She started to fall to the ground, but then she realized she was already on the floor, so she just let out a whoosh of breath. “Would that be before or after, I try to break up her and Angel. She may be a bit miffed and not at all cooperative.”
“The Powers have faith in you.”
“And this particular Armageddon will occur how?”
“On a need to know basis, only.”
“Since I’m supposed to help Buffy do the saving thing, I think I need to know.”
“You’ll know when it’s time.”
“You’re not very helpful, you realize that don’t you.” Cordelia glared up at Skip.
“Just doing my job, this time I’m the messenger only.”
“You were a better guide.”
Skip shrugged. “Ready? Oh, one more thing…”
“You’ve already said that.”
“This isn’t something you need to do, just know….”
“Listening.”
“Couple of things, actually, well more than that.”
“Get on with it.”
“You’re going to need Wesley and the rest.”
“Duh.”
“That may not be so easy. Angel’s already tried to kill Wesley…”
“I heard, but that was because…”
“Three times.”
“Three?” Cordelia jumped up. “Why the other two times? They were getting along, not perfectly, granted. But, Wesley is the one that found the access to Quor-toth. Without him, we would’ve never found Connor.”
“True. But, It is my understanding about the situation is that if he hadn’t taken Connor in the first place, Angel believes that you wouldn’t have died.”
“That’s just stupid. Stubborn vampire. That won’t be a problem”
“I…” Skip said doubtfully.
“No, I can handle that- if Angel really wanted to kill Wesley, Wesley would be dead. So, what about the other things I need to know.”
“It’s about your new powers.”
“I’ve new powers?”
“Powers that were developing because of your demonization prior to you dying. They would be complete by now if you had lived. The Powers decided that you might need them, so you’re getting them fully formed and charged. Here,” handing Cordelia a handbook. “Read it, learn it, and know them.”
Cordelia held the heavy book, flipping through the small printed words. “I take it we’re not in a hurry.”
“Actually, we are.” Skip grabbed the book back. “We’ll have to do this the quick way. This will hurt.”
“Gee, another surprise, duh. So speed learn me, already.”
“You are really a courageous piece of work, Cordelia Chase.” A bright flash flew from Skip’s hand encompassing Cordelia’s body as she screamed.
Chapter 4
Cordelia pulled on the door of the Hyperion Hotel one more time. She grunted as she hit the heavy padlock chaining the doors. Damn. Cordelia sat on the front step considering her options. Skip said it had been a year since she died. Cordelia knew that Angel was in Sunnydale; she had just hoped that Wesley, Gunn and Fred were still at the hotel. Figures. She got up and brushed at her white flimsy gown and grunted. Skip could’ve at least dropped her in LA with some jeans and with everyone’s new addresses. She felt like a lost member of an airport crazy cult.
It was dark by the time she got to Caritas. She grumbled again, money for a taxi would’ve been helpful as well. Lord, she was hungry and needed a bathroom.
Cordelia paused at the door stilling her first reaction to run in and find Lorne. She imagined that the demon would be a bit surprised to see her and she supposed happy. But how much should she tell him? Tell any of them? Cordelia bit her lip and considered. If she told them that she was only alive temporarily and would die again it may affect their ability fight the up coming apocalypse. And then what about her? Did she really want a big happy sad family reunion? No. But, did she even what a happy one? It would make dying again all that much harder. No. Skip was right this was definitely on the need to know basis. Cordelia took a deep breath and pushed open the door thinking of the lies that she would need to get the job done.
Cordelia scanned the room pushing back her hair. Damn, she had been getting to really like her new shorthaired look, but obliviously limbos were hopelessly neglectful of hairdressers. Oh well. She had died. Cordelia looked again around the room. She bit back her smile as she saw Lorne by the stage. He hadn’t changed at all. She moved gracefully through the crowd to reach his side.
“Lorne, buy a resurrected girl a drink?” Tapping the demon on the shoulder.
Lorne turned, gulped, blinked and dropped his drink. “Princess? Oh, Elvis and James Dean, you’re not dead.”
“Actually, I am,” Cordelia shrugged. “The Powers…”
“Come with me.” Pulling her into his private rooms. As soon as the door closed, Lorne grabbed the young woman in enthusiastic hug, pulling back once to get a good look at her “You are sure one live breathing beautiful corpse.” Starting to pull her back into a big hug.
Cordelia jerked away, not allowing herself the luxury of feeling her friend’s arms around her again.
“Princess?”
“Lorne, we don’t have time for pleasantries and I AM dead, just not a ghostly type dead. I haven’t returned to life, I just have been returned for a specific task, that’s all. And I need you to gather the guys. I went to the Hyperion but it was locked up.”
Lorne blinked. “You’re alive.”
“No, I’m dead. I just seem alive. I wouldn’t be able to complete my mission as Dennis’ girlfriend, that’s all.”
“Angel…”
“Is in Sunnydale. I know. But, I need Wesley and the rest before I can talk to Angel.”
“Wesley’s persona non gratis.”
“That’s going to have to change. The Powers need him. I’ll deal with Angel. Lorne, I’m surprised that you would feel that way. It wasn’t Wesley’s fault.”
Lorne nodded. “I know, he still comes here sometimes, but he hasn’t wanted to reconnect. Both he and Angel ran when you died, in wide separate directions. Princess, I don’t know what bill of goods the Powers sold you, but you aren’t dead. I can read you.”
“Really? What do you see? Let me help. Rockaby baby in a treetop….” Cordelia forced herself to remember and use chapter three of her new powers handbook that Skip blasted into her skull. How to Block all ‘Readings’ of the Mind and Soul.
“Sing again.” Lorne said confused. He had sensed something, but now he saw nothing. It was if he was looking at a corpse. But Cordelia was breathing, heart beating, beautifully in front of him.
“It won’t matter, Lorne. You maybe sensing something, but it’s not real, it’s just a manipulation by the Powers- I AM dead, killed and everything. Regardless, though, I need your help. Death has some limitations as the manipulations have some downfalls, like hunger and a bathroom. Do you mind?” She pointed to the bathroom door. “I tell you, I can’t wait to get back to heaven. I was happy. Oh, do you have anything else I can wear?” tugging at her gossamer gown. “This was appropriate in heaven, but over the top on earth, at least they didn’t send me down with my wings and halo, uh.” She nodded and went into the bathroom.
Lorne stood stock-still. Something was definitely not right. The young woman was Cordelia Chase, he knew that with a certainty when he first saw her, but now he wasn’t sure what she was. Wings and a halo? Lorne shook his head and went to the phone.
Chapter 5
Buffy stretched out and felt the empty side of her bed, again. She pushed the blonde strains away from her face and went into the spare room, now a nursery.
“Angel.”
The vampire looked up from his son. “Good morning.”
“How long have you been up?”
Angel shrugged. “I heard Connor cry. He still hasn’t been sleeping well.”
“Angel, the doctor said he was fine.”
“He can’t sleep through the night, Buffy, that’s not fine.”
Buffy started to say something at his sharp tone but stopped herself. Angel was a new father whose son had been kidnapped, threatened and Connor’s young life had been turned upside down, Angel had the right to be over protective. She had the same tendency with Dawn. “I’m sure it normal one year old stuff.” She smiled encouragingly. “I’m just going to get breakfast for Dawn, okay.”
Angel didn't even look up, his eyes back on his son.
Buffy turned and glanced back once more. Angel being all broody and quiet wasn’t abnormal. That’s pretty much what she remembered from their high school romance, but she’d hoped it would be different. Now, Angelus wasn’t a threat, they should be able to be happy. It had been a year since Connor was kidnapped and Cordelia had died. If it weren’t for the infrequent smiles that she saw on his face when she would basically sneak up on him staring at his son, Buffy wouldn’t even believe that it was possible for Angel to be happy. She would pay good money to make him laugh, but she’d settle for a smile, a real smile to her or anyone’s dumb joke. Oh well. Lorne said that Angel had loved Cordelia. And Angel once in a very rare open moment, admitted that Cordelia Chase had been his best friend, of course that’s when he became quiet again. Buffy still found it a hard to believe that the young woman she knew in high school had become her vampire’s best friend. But, it would explain Angel’s extra broodiness. He was feeling guilty about her death and over protective of Connor. That was typical Angel, Buffy just needed to have patience.
****************
Wesley was the last to arrive. He hadn’t wanted to come, but Lorne had said it was important, vital and basically every other over dramatizing adjective that he could babble. It wasn’t the words so much, but Lorne’s tone that made Wesley come.
Wesley stalled as he saw Fred and Gunn in Lorne’s private room. He turned to leave at their expressions towards him.
“Don’t go.” Cordelia stepped out from the bathroom. She had used the time to take a shower and change into the clothes Lorne had brought her. Cordelia wasn’t sure but she thought that Lorne must have raided a female version of Angelus’ closet. She was now decked out in black leather pants and t-shirt. No, if she remembered correctly Angelus liked at least colors on top, the one she was wearing was black. She shook her head as she walked towards a stunned Wesley. “I need you, all of you to stay, listen and help.”
“Cordy,” all three newcomers whispered in awe.
“Yeah, me or at least sort of me. Dead version, faking the live bit for now, the Powers need your help and so do I, so I can get back to heaven.”
Fred was the first to move, running straight for the young woman. Cordelia’s hands shot out stopping the other young woman from engulfing her. “Fred, I’m dead just visiting and don’t have time for big hello’s. Don’t need them or want them. But, thank you for missing me.” She smiled as she sidestepped the young woman’s grasping arms.
“Cordy?” Wesley moved closer, his feet finally overcoming the shock to his heart and mind.
“Hi. Wesley, I need you to come with me to Sunnydale. I’m here for two reasons. One, to remind and hopefully get Angel back to LA where his redemption is, the Powers want him here. And second to foretell another apocalypse. And as the Powers are just as lacking in information in death as they are in life, I’ll need you to research the hows and wherefores. But, I do know it starts in Sunnydale, big surprise, and it will start soon. So, you’ll ready for a road trip?”
“You’re alive?” Wesley missing everything she said only noticing Cordelia’s presence in front of him.
“No, you weren’t listening. I’m dead, here for a specific reason and I need your help to get back to the dead thing. Heaven was really nice.”
“Heaven?” Fred asked.
“Yeah. But, it seems the Powers didn’t think I was following through with my guardian angel duties correctly, so I’m back for some actual hands on fixing. Hopefully, it won’t take long.” She wiggled her fingers.
“You want to be dead?” Fred asked. “We don’t want you to be.”
“That’s sweet, but yes, I do. It really is paradise. Fun, sun and coolness. I want to go back. So, road trip?”
Chapter 6
Lorne grabbed at the retreating trio of humans. "Hold on to your excitement, Kiddies."
"Dawg, what? Cordy's alive, man." Gunn's amazed gaze settled on the young brunette at the bar.
"Charles, she said she was dead as in heaven dead and still dead. Heaven, wow. I don't want Cordy to be dead." Fred blinked rapidly.
"Lorne, what is it?" Wesley asked his eyes like the others fixed on Cordelia.
"The Princess said she was dead, does that look dead to you?" Lorne pointed to the young woman jabbing a finger at the bartender, arguing that Buffalo wings weren't just the same as raw hot-spiced lizard eyes. Finally, Cordelia looked satisfied as the bartender stomped off and then came back tossing a plate of chicken wings on the bar. Cordelia ignored the demon's disgust as she happily munched on the appetizers.
"She looks hungry."
"Lorne, what did you read?"
"That's just it, kiddies, I don't know. First, it was Cordelia all beautiful soul and all, but now it's nothing- like she's dead."
"She said she was dead-I don't want her to be dead." Fred repeated.
"So, is she dead or is she alive?" Gunn asked.
"Why, would Cordelia lie about that- she said she was dead. I don't-."
"Kitten, dear, none of us wants her dead." Lorne interrupted Fred from repeating the only words her mouth seemed to be capable of forming at the moment.
"How do we know that the Powers brought her back? Maybe it was a spell?"
Fred's eyes widened. "Charles could be right. Maybe Angel convinced that Willow witch to do a spell for Cordy. She did it for Buffy. They did say Buffy was a little off when she got brought back. Maybe that is why Cordy is saying she's dead. Maybe, she's not dead, just off. I don't want-"
"Fred," Wesley shook his head. "Willow was adamant in her refusal to do the spell. I doubt she's changed her mind. And, Buffy agreed. She told Angel that it wasn't a pleasant experience being torn from the peacefulness of heaven. It seemed to convince him."
"How about the evil shysters. They brought Darla back from dust to get to Angel. Maybe, they did the same with Cordelia."
"Why would they? Angel isn't in LA anymore. Furthermore, Darla was predisposed to harm Angel, Cordelia isn't. Wolfram & Hart's spell wouldn't have the same results."
"Cordy isn't evil. She just said she was dead. I don't-"
"FRED." All three men shouted.
"Well, I don't want her to be dead." Fred glared and then her eyes suddenly widened. "What's Angel going to do when he sees her looking all alive, but really dead?"
"Shit's going to hit the fan." Gunn shook his head.
******************
"So, has everyone freaked enough?" Cordelia walked back over to the group. "Can we go now?"
"Cordy, I don't want-."
"Fred, please. I am, so just accept it. I'm happy or I was anyway. But, I will be again once I do a couple little things for the Powers."
"Apocalypse is little?"
Cordelia shrugged. "It's all relative to the last one and the one that will follow this particular current world ending drama."
"Angel is going to be-be surprised."
Cordelia scrunched up her face to Fred. "Why? He's gone through at least three of them. Apocalypse's are no big deal to him."
"NO. About you being alive-I mean dead. I-" Gunn laid a hand on Fred stopping her next breath of words.
"Sure, for a bit. Come on, guys, it's not like you all didn't have time to get use to the fact that I was dead. Angel's moved on-" Cordelia paused and looked away.
Lorne hit Wesley and nudged. "There it is again. Her aura's back."
Cordelia swung around. "No. Lorne, it's not."
Lorne hit Wesley again as the colors he saw disappeared into nothingness. "This isn't right."
Cordelia glared. "Of course it isn't right. I'm dead, but walking and talking going to fight an apocalypse when I should be relaxing in heaven. Angel's shacked up in Sunnydale when he should be here in LA striving for his Shansu. Things couldn't be more wrong. But, I'll fix it and then go. Geez, are you guys coming or what?"
"Tell her to stop saying she's dead." Fred whispered pulling at Gunn's arm. "Tell her."
Chapter 7
Cordelia leaned back against the leather seat of Wesley's SUV. "Did you get the scroll?"
Wesley looked up in the rearview mirror. "Cordelia, I've translated the scroll thoroughly all the prophecies have been accounted for. There is no indication of an oncoming apocalypse within it, well at least not prophesized as coming soon or in Sunnydale."
"That's not why I want it." Cordelia rested her head back. This was harder than she thought, which meant it was damn near impossible. She so much wanted to lean up and demand her friends to tell her everything that had been going on since she died. She wanted to tell them that she loved them, but instead she just ignored their attempts to speak to her or touch her. If Fred tried to grasp her hand one more time Cordelia would either clutch the woman in a fierce hug or toss her out the door of the moving vehicle. Cordelia bit down her sigh. It was only going to get worse.
Cordelia was having second and third doubts about her ability to follow her choice of action as they traveled closer to Sunnydale. The anticipation and excitement that was building within her heart threatened to explode into a giant group hug. She wished Lorne would stop glancing back and studying her. It took too much concentration to block his readings. Cordelia knew she would need every ounce of will power not to run into Angel's arms to ensure that Skip had been right- that the vampire was really safe. Good lord, how was she even going to be able to look at Connor without breaking down? It had been a year. She missed a year of the baby's life. He could be walking now, definitely crawling. Cordelia hoped that Buffy knew about baby proofing a house. Angel would know. Cordelia had dragged him to Babies - R- Us to buy baby gates and electric socket covers. Once, the vampire realized what the little pieces of plastic were for he spent hours covering the hundreds of outlets in the hotel, even the ones on the top floors. Cordelia choked on the smile that memory had caused. They had argued that afternoon, her logic against his melodramatic scenarios on how a baby could get his finger stuck in an outlet ten feet high up on the fourth floor. She let him win that one. But, she made him take the baby gate down from the hotel stairs. Cordelia wasn't going to get herself and the two-month-old Connor killed by tripping over the damn thing. Cordelia closed her eyes at the past. They immediately jerked open. Connor would be talking. What if he called Buffy mommy? Cordelia blinked at the pain that unexpected thought caused her. She was freaking out that was the only explanation for that panic attack. Cordelia glared as her eyes blinked up into Lorne's hard stare.
"Stop reading me. I'm dead, get over your need for me to be alive, all of you." She said harshly.
Lorne's hard stare and the furtive glance of the others jerked away from Cordelia. A tense silence descended filling the confines of the suddenly too small vehicle. Cordelia couldn't regret her outburst, though. She was going crazy. Cordelia closed her eyes again summoning the imagines of the clouds surrounding her. It didn't calm her, but it did remind her that she didn't have a future with Angel and Connor or any of her family. For a brief moment an intense hatred flared up against the Powers. Why couldn't they have let her remain dead? This couldn't be the only way for Angel to get a seer and return to his mission.
Chapter 8
"Cordelia." Wesley said softly. "We're here. Maybe, we-well maybe Gunn or Lorne should go and explain it to Angel before you go in."
The young brunette opened her eyes. "Angel won't kill you, Wesley."
"Cordy, you weren't-" Gunn started.
"Let's go and get this over with. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to," getting out of the car.
"I wish she would stop saying things like that, it's like she doesn't even care about us anymore." Fred whispered tearfully to the black man.
Gunn shook his head and slowly followed along with the others.
****************************
Buffy answered the door and then gapped.
"Hi. Can I come in? Come on, Buffy, as the award wining twice doer of the Lazarus method, you shouldn't be so surprised." Cordelia smiled.
"Cordelia?" Buffy stepped back, opening the door wide as the young brunette and the quiet group the followed entered.
"How?" Buffy turned and suddenly yelled towards the kitchen. "WILLOW."
The red head came running, only to skid to a stop, dropping the jar she was holding to the floor. "I didn't do it, I swear, Buffy, I didn't." Willow's legs and eyes moved towards Cordelia, her feet oblivious to the glass surrounding her.
"Angel asked you to."
"I said no, you were there, I said no."
Cordelia rolled her eyes at Willow's stuttered response. "Stupid vampire. Where is he? I need to talk to him."
*************
Angel jerked up at the sound of glass breaking. He tuned his senses to the environment surrounding him attempting to determine if there was any danger to Connor. Humans and demons were downstairs. Angel got up ignoring the humans for now, concentrating on the demons. He narrowed his eyes. They were familiar. Angel stumbled, waving away the more obvious demon and focused on the scent that was causing his palms to sweat and his dead heart to choke in his throat. Angel fell to the floor refusing to believe his senses, until he heard it. "Stupid vampire." In an instant he was out the door.
***************
Angel paused at the steps scared to go down. What if it was a lie? The vampire closed his eyes targeting one heart beat and one scent- demon now, but so much still that of his unique and beautiful seer. It couldn't be a lie. The sound and smell was swallowing him whole. He stepped slowly afraid that if he moved to quickly, the source would be gone and he would know that it wasn't real.
***************
If Buffy and Willow didn't stop staring at her and didn't tell her where Angel was Cordelia was going to scream. She was ready to handle this first sighting, but it better happen soon because she was close to losing it. Cordelia just prayed that when she saw the vampire he wasn't with Connor.
"Cordy?"
Cordelia closed her eyes as her stomach fell to the floor and a vice squeezed in her chest. She turned.
The banister cracked as Angel's fist clenched around the wood. He gulped not knowing what to do.
"Angel."
The room disappeared as two set of eyes one brown, one hazel locked.
Suddenly, Angel knew what he needed to do. Sight, sound, smell all confirmed, now he had to finish it. He moved to touch and taste the truth of the miracle.
Cordelia knew what was going to happen. For half a heartbeat Cordelia thought she would have the power to stop it. She allowed herself another half of a heartbeat in the vampire's arms. Then she moved, pushing at him.
"Cordy," Angel refused to be moved, his hands reaching up to caress the skin of her face, his fingers trailing up and twirling into the dark strains of her hair. "Cordy," he whispered, his lips moving closer.
Cordelia felt the brush of his voice against her breath. Her eyes widened. Angel was going to kiss her. Shit. Cordelia jerked her head away, "Personal bubble, buster, the dead need it, I mean, my type of dead need it too." Cordelia said backing away, her feet stumbling over each other.
"Cordy," Angel pulled her back.
"No, kissing," she whispered moving her face away. Cordelia stilled. She hadn't moved quickly enough to completely avoid him. Damn him and his ëgrr' powers. Angel was still stronger and faster than she was or maybe he just made her weak. Cordelia felt tears bubbling up through her throat. Angel's lips grazed the softness of her cheek, tasting her skin, moving with his tongue to her throat. Cordelia needed to find her strength. Then she found it, in the petite form of a beautiful confused and surprised slayer. Buffy, Angel was with Buffy now. He loved her. Cordelia had never planned on using femme fatale tactics to break them up. It wouldn't have worked. She knew that.
"Angel, I'm dead." She pushed. Cordelia knew that even with this rather uncharacteristic public display by the vampire, the love/jealous clichÈ method still wouldn't work. Angel wasn't kissing her. Angel was tasting her just like she knew he probably already smelled her and did all the other vamp sensory types of detection on her.
"Alive." He growled, yanking her back, cradling her face in his hands.
Cordelia blinked. Angel's eyes glowed, not the gold of his demon, but with deep, fathomless brown. That's when the truth finally hit her like a ton of bricks and the responding crash destroyed her heart. Cordelia waded through the love in his eyes and pushed. Her hands burnt in a bright light, the heat throwing Angel back away from her.
"Cordy." Angel stumbled then regained his footing quickly, moving forward.
Cordelia took a deep breath, she couldn't play out the farce of love with Angel, not even to break Buffy and Angel up, not even now that she knew the truth. Cordelia couldn't do that to either of them. Cordelia didn't have a future with Angel and she couldn't let him believe otherwise, even for the Powers. "Damn't Angel, growl some other name would you, please. And stay away. Personal Bubble. I'm dead, not undead, but really DEAD. I can't love you, all right. Not here, not on earth. So, stop."
"You are alive." Angel growled. "I-"
"Can see, hear, smell, touch, taste-I know, but I'm not alive, not really. Tell him." She shot to Lorne. "Tell him, about my soul, tell him." She yelled, not caring about the scene she was creating or the hurt and doubt that sprung up in Buffy's eyes. Angel had to believe.
"I can't read her soul. I get flashes. But, I don't know." Lorne bowed his head.
"Well, I do know. Angel," Cordelia grabbed his head firmly. "My soul is in heaven as it has been since I died, it will remain there waiting for this all to be over with, for me to return completely. I'm dead. I was killed in Quor-toth. I'm not here to regain my life or start over, just one last mission for the Powers before I can finally be at peace. I can't-" Cordelia bit her lip; truth and lies were getting all confused in her head as Angel's dark eye's bore into hers. "I love you, always, you know that but- I'm dead. I can't be your future but I will guide you to it. That's why I'm back- to guide you and to love you the only way I can in spirit and soul. The Powers promoted me from seer to guardian angel. I'm just not very good at it yet."
Angel's hands shot out one landing on her heart the other on the rapid pulse of her throat. "You are alive," countering and ignoring Cordelia speech.
"It's fake."
Cordelia eyes moved in unison with Angel's to the small noise at the top of the stairs.
"You forgot baby gates, you stupid vampire." Cordelia refused to let her feet fly up the stairs trusting that Angel would get there.
Cordelia needed to leave now.
"Mama."
Cordelia's grip broke the doorknob. She couldn't leave but she couldn't turn to see Connor go into Buffy's arms.
The little voice got closer.
"Cordy." Angel said. "Your son wants you." The little boy's arms were waving in the air towards Cordelia.
Cordelia swirled ready to argue but she saw Buffy's shocked expression. It wasn't directed at her or Angel but at the small child in Angel's arms. Buffy hadn't heard it before. Cordelia turned back to the door. If she took Connor in her arms, she wouldn't be able to maintain the lie. Cordelia didn't have a clue which would hurt Angel more, her acknowledging the truth or her maintaining the lie. But, she did know which would make her fight the Power's wishes. Cordelia bit her lip and turned. "Two dead mothers, really Angel, maybe it's time for you to try for a third." She walked out the door into the sunlight.
Chapter 9
"Angel," the room called out. Gunn threw his body in front of the door. “Crispy vamp. Sun, man.” He tensed his frame as Angel moved forward. “Connor, man.” Gunn said in a last ditch effort to prevent the vampire ramming into his body. The black man relaxed a little as the Angel stilled, suddenly realizing the small child in his arms.
"What's wrong with her? Stop her. Gunn, go,” Angel ordered in a growl.
"I'll go," Buffy said, closing her eyes against the rising panic in Angel’s voice. "If Cordelia really was in heaven then she'll need understanding and patience. It's...difficult to be brought back." Buffy’s offer wasn’t altruistic, it wasn’t even conscious. She just had a burning need to get away from the vampire and his son. Buffy winced at Angel’s stare. It was as if he didn’t recognize her.
“Bring her back.” Angel nodded suddenly and turned back to the group from LA.
“What’s wrong with Cordy?” The vampire repeated harshly.
"Well, she did say she was dead. I wish she'd stop saying that." Fred blinked. “Angel, maybe I should take Connor.” The young woman held out her arms. The baby was crying and Fred didn’t like the way Angel was looking right now. He could very well do something drastic or rash. She looked in relief towards Gunn, her boyfriend was back to blocking the door.
“Cordy is not dead." Angel was as sure of that as he was sure that Connor was alive. The beautiful woman he held had a heartbeat, breath and scent, all which he recognized. It was Cordelia and she was alive. "How did it happen? What happened to her?”
“Angel.” Fred urged. Connor’s cries steadily growing in accompany with his father’s increasing agitation.
The vampire growled and handed his son to the young woman. Once done, his glare shot back to Lorne, Gunn and Wesley. “Talk.”
Fred took the young child in her arms gratefully. “Where’s his…nevermind, I’ll find it. It would be the one with the crib,” she mumbled more to herself than to the others. She hugged the baby closer,” It’s okay, honey, daddy is just upset because your mommy isn’t quite herself, right now. Everything will be fine.” God, Fred hoped so. The joy she felt first seeing Cordelia had dove quickly into a downward spiral and Cordy’s reaction to seeing Connor hadn’t stalled the spin in the slightest. Cordelia couldn’t be still dead.
Willow just stared. She didn’t know what to think about anything. She wanted to say something to Angel. But somehow, commenting on the vampire’s utter ignorance on how the last several minutes had effected Buffy, the love of his life, seemed out of place at the moment and could very well get her killed. So, the redhead sat on the couch wringing her hands and looking up the stairs.
When did Connor start calling Cordelia 'mama'? How could a 15 month old who hadn’t seen a person in over 12 months recognize that person as their mother, even if she was the child’s mother? And Cordelia wasn’t Connor’s mother. But, judging from Angel and the comments Fred was making to the baby, none of Angel and Cordelia’s LA friends thought it was strange.
What exactly had Cordelia’s relationship with Angel been? When they went to funeral the only thing anybody said was that Cordelia had been Angel’s seer, best friend and the heart of Angel’s Investigations. But, that’s all they said. They hadn’t been a very talkative bunch. Obliviously they left a few things out. Willow had to be happy that Cordelia was alive, but she couldn’t help but be uneasy for Buffy. And what did Cordelia mean that she was still dead? She didn’t look dead.
"We're not sure, Cordelia showed up at Caritas earlier today just saying that the Powers sent her back to complete certain tasks and that she wasn’t really alive." Wesley rubbed his forehead.
Angel glared and noticed, really noticed his former friend. "What are you doing here? I warned you.” Angel growled. “This is your doing."
*******************
“Cordelia?” Buffy said softly. If the other young woman had been ripped from heaven, then she needed Buffy’s understanding. Buffy tried to remember that and not the sight of Angel grasping on to Cordelia in desperation or Connor calling Cordelia ‘mama’. Buffy had to remind herself Angel’s freaky uncharacteristic emotional reaction was the result of shock. That’s all. Cordelia had been his best friend who had died and come back. Buffy realized that the situation was completely different from when she had returned from the dead. Angel had been forewarned, therefore he wasn't surprised to see Buffy. But when they had seen each other,Angel had smiled and hugged her for a really long time. He just had been really surprised to see Cordelia, that’s all.
Cordelia looked up, her body still slumped against the hard bark of the tree.
“Were you really in heaven? I know how difficult it is to be grabbed out.”
Cordelia leaned up and studied the young blonde, Buffy the One. Cordelia shook her head. She was truly sorry for the pain that Buffy had gone through just as she was sorry for the pain she would cause Buffy. Yet, Angel was her priority and Angel needed to leave Buffy and return to LA.
“I wasn’t grabbed out, I was sent for a specific purpose by the Powers. They don’t want Angel here. His destiny is in LA. He has to leave and I was sent to tell him that. You two don’t belong together.”
Buffy stepped back. She had wanted to be supportive and understanding but Cordelia wasn’t letting her. Angel was her boyfriend. “We do too, we love each other. We’re soul mates.”
Cordelia shook her head. “Soul mates, ssmoul mate, Angel’s soul doesn’t need a date. It needs to be redeemed that’s what Angel’s mission in LA was all about. Help the helpless and redeem his soul. But, it won’t happen in Sunnyhell. Angel belongs in LA. He has to go otherwise he can never be truly happy. It’s his destiny.”
“He is happy here. Angel belongs with me. He loves ME, not you.” Buffy had to believe that.
“Me? I’m not the issue, Buffy, and neither are you, egocentric much? Angel’s soul is what’s important.” Cordelia tried to stop her next words but the indignant expression on Buffy’s face spurred her on. “And he does love me, but more importantly he will listen to me. I’m his best friend.”
“Was. You said you were dead.” Buffy glared.
“Oh, good, some body’s been listening, I guess this means no flowers or ticker tape parade, uh.” The brunette shook her head. “ It doesn’t matter. I’m Angel’s best friend, dead or not. He’ll listen to me. You,” Cordelia paused and took a deep breath, her antagonism towards the blonde slayer disappearing. “I am sorry, Buffy, but the Powers don’t want Angel in Sunnydale and they control his soul’s redemption and his soul WILL be redeemed, if I have to….well, I’m already dead, but you get the picture, don’t you?” Cordelia said firmly.
Buffy shook her head. “Angel won’t leave me again. He loves me. His soul is bound.”
“That only means he can do the joyous pelvic thrust without the evil guy popping out, not that he’s been cleared by the higher ups.” Cordelia’s head jerked up. “Damn, stupid vampire,” running back into the house.
**************
“Angel, put Wesley down, now.” Cordelia ordered as she slammed open the door.
Buffy shot passed Cordelia, grabbing at Angel’s arm, trying to help Gunn break Angel’s hold on the former watcher. Angel’s grip remained unmovable, oblivious to their actions or calls. Wesley stayed pressed against the wall, his face blue.
“Angel.” Cordelia repeated, her tone softer.
“It’s his fault.” Angel growled, his eyes landing on the young woman, his fingers still tight around Wesley’s throat. “His betrayal caused all of this. I lost you because of him.”
“And you got Connor back. Angel, I chose what happened. Without Wesley, we would’ve never found Connor. Angel, he saved Connor. You know that.”
“You DIED to save Connor…not him. Now, he will die for what he’s done.”
Cordelia walked up to the vampire, ignoring the others, her head slightly cocked. “Not that I wouldn’t enjoy having a friend in heaven, Angel, but you will not kill Wesley. He enabled Connor to be saved. Wesley is family. You need him. I need him. Put him down, now.” Cordy’s eyes remained fixed on the vampire.
Buffy stepped back as Cordelia demonstrated the truth of her hold over the vampire. Angel dropped Wesley letting the man fall to the ground.
"Cordy." Angel started towards the brunette.
"Angel, stop. You're being stubborn and all melodramaticy."
"I’m not melodramatic."
"You are too. But that's okay, it's just one of the things makes you so 'grr'able. Now," Cordelia stopped and scrunched up her brow. “Eww, that was just gross and eww, again.”
"Cordy?" Angel's hands reached for the young woman.
Cordelia brushed him away. "No pain, still have the perks of being demonized."
"You're getting visions?" Angel dodged her hands and held her.
"Dead people get visions? You’re still part demon?" Fred said, coming back down the stairs. She suddenly smiled. “I knew you weren’t dead. Cordy, you really should go up to see Connor, he misses his mommy.”
"Fred, don't call me that and I am dead. How many times do I have to say it? Geez. The Powers just need Angel to have a seer and I'm it for now." Cordy retorted, momentarily sidetracked from her vision by Fred’s appearance.
"For now? Cordy, what do you mean? And you are Connor's mother." Angel interrupted.
"What did you do brainwash him with pictures and mommy chants? I haven’t been around for a year. He can’t remember me.”
Willow nodded. She was glad that she wasn’t the only that thought it was strange.
“Cordy, of course, we wouldn’t let Connor forget you.” Fred blinked shocked that Cordelia would even think that was possible.
“He knows you’re his mother.” Angel said. “I wouldn’t let him forget you,” repeating Fred’s words.
Cordelia bit back the scream that was building in her throat. She closed her eyes, counting to ten. She barely got to three when Angel grabbed her.
“What’s wrong with you.”
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” Cordelia jerked away. “You give your son another dead mother. How fair is that?”
“Connor is your son.”
“No, Angel. He’s your son, your and Darla’s. Not mine. Never mine.”
“Cordy.”
“Stop it, Angel. I don’t have time for this. Vision, remember?”
“I don’t care about…”
Cordelia smacked him. “You better start caring. Why, do you think the Powers brought me back? Wesley,” she shot her hand out.
Wesley dug into his coat and brought out the scroll.
Cordelia thrust the parchment at Angel. “You take this and remember. You have a mission; you have a Shansu to work towards. You’re screwing it all up.” Cordelia turned back towards Wesley. “Come on, we need to go. Buffy? The slayer would be helpful.”
Angel’s hand shot out again. “Where are you going?”
“To save the victims in my vision. You can’t go, daylight, duh. Gunn, please get the weapons, did you happen to bring my sword? I hope so, probably will need. It.
“You’re not going. The other’s can go. You’re staying.”
“No, I’m not. I have to go.” Knocking his hand away.
“Cordelia, what did you see?” Wesley gasped, still trying to find his voice.
“Major ickyness, baby sacrificing demon orgy …” Her hand shot out stopping Angel before he could freak. “Not Connor, okay. It wasn’t Connor. It was sort of demon hybrid baby, gold with really black eyes. Not Connor. I’m sure.” She repeated making sure the vampire understood her.
Wesley stepped up. “Cordy, could you tell if this ritual had anything to do with the on coming apocalypse?”
“Apocalypse?” Willow, Buffy and Angel stared at Wesley then back to Cordelia.
Cordelia shrugged. “Don’t know. But, we still have to hurry if were going to stop demon daddy and friends from staging hellmouth’s production of ‘Caligula’.
“Cordelia,” Angel said. “Apocalypse?”
Cordelia nodded. “That’s also on my list of things to do. Foretell another one and help stop it. Whatever happened to the promised ‘peacefulness’ of deadness?” This time Cordelia’s glance rested on Buffy.
The slayer stared back and slowly nodded. Feelings about Cordelia and Angel aside that was the same question she had asked herself and something she understood. Buffy just didn’t have a clue as to the answer. “I don’t know,” Buffy said softly. “But…”
“Right.” Cordelia sighed. “Let’s go.”
Angel held her back. “I don’t want you to go.”
“Angel, I don’t have any choices left. The Powers brought me back for one, well two,” she scrunched up her face. “Actually, three reasons and….Oh, look on the bright side, I’m already dead, so no danger of me dying. See ya.” Cordelia quickly ran out the door.
“Make her stop saying that,” Fred looked around for Gunn, but the black man already gone following Buffy and Wesley after Cordelia. Fred determined glance fell on Lorne. The demon just shrugged. Fred snorted with disgust and turned. “Angel, make her stop saying that.”
Angel blinked at the young woman. “I will,” going up the stairs to his son.
“Well, good, then.” Fred nodded. Finally someone gave her the answer she wanted to hear and it was Angel that had to be worth major accomplishing truth points. “I feel better.” She smiled.
“Um, Apocalypse? Not a feel good thingy,” Willow looked in concern at the door her best friend went out of.
“Pooh, Angel’s been through at least three, that’s what Cordy says.” Fred shook her head.
“Angel’s not with them.” Willow ventured.
Fred nudged at her glasses. “That’s because Cordy said she didn’t think it had started yet. Which makes sense. Cordy wouldn’t have a vision of the apocalypse during the daytime. How would Angel be her warrior, then? No, it’s just a demon orgy baby sacrificing ritual. Wesley’s there, he’ll figure that part out. And Gunn is really strong and Cordy said she was still demonized. They’ll be fine.” Fred smiled. “It’s like old times.”
Lorne rolled his eyes. “And praise be, we all now how grand those old times were. I need a drink.”
Chapter 10
Angel smiled at his crying son, his hand gently cupping the small head. “Shh, Connor, mommy’s back. Da will make sure that she’s with us soon. I promise.” He smiled wider as the little unique person that was his son looked up, his cries lessening. “Mama.” A tiny voice asked for reassurance.
“Oh, Connor, She’s here. I promise you she won’t leave ever again. I won’t allow it, for either of us.” Angel’s vowed growl was masked by the gentle kiss he laid on his son’s brow.
******************
Willow jumped up in relief as Xander and Dawn wandered in the door. It has been a half hour. Angel hadn’t come back down from Connor. Willow had been stuck with Fred and Lorne all that time.
Willow could swear that Fred had given no hints to her true babbling nature when they met at Cordelia’s funeral. Willow felt down right linear in comparison. The other young woman jumped from topic to topic. Well, that’s not accurate, Fred jumped from Cordelia’s back, Angel will make everything fine, Connor’s gotten big, Connor missed Cordelia. Then the young woman would sigh, hoping that the apocalypse wouldn’t take too long, it was a good thing that Angel didn’t sell the hotel, everything would be fine, their family was back together again- Cordy said so- Wesley was with them, then Fred would sigh again and start all over. Her circular nonsensical babbling did have a point. Once Willow figured it out she was the one sighing.
Fred seemed sure that once the world ending crisis was over Angel would pack up Connor and head back to LA with his ‘family’ the most important of which was Cordelia. Willow had looked at the green demon for any contradiction to Fred’s babbling, but he gave none. He only commented when Fred’s rambling gaze landed on him that he really hoped so, but it was up to the ‘Powers’, all the while calling the young woman lambkins or kitten. Then he would ask for alcohol. It was weird. Willow was very happy to see Xander and Dawn.
“Hey,” Willow’s other best friend sauntered in. “Look who I found wandering the streets.” He cocked his head towards Dawn. The teenager waved a hand and rolled her eyes, the stopped, looking back at Fred and Lorne.
“I know you. We met at…”
“Hi, I’m Fred, this is Lorne, in case you don’t remember. I know it can be hard to remember, new faces, new places. They can get all whirly in your head. I remember by assigning numbers to each new person I meet. Like, I know you, you’re Dawn- eight.” Fred turned to Xander. “You got ‘00’ not because I automatically thought double zero, but Cordy mentioned ‘Zeppo’ and then I did automatically think ‘00’. You’re Xander, the ex-boyfriend that cheated with Willow, eleven’. How could you cheat on Cordy..I don’t understand, do you Lorne?”
“Whoa, leave me out of your ‘School house non-rock impromptu” Lorne shot a look at the young man. “Though, I admit, it boggles the mind that anyone with half a brain and set of hormones would sing 'Bye, Bye Dolly' to the Princess. She’s a hot-a-rama as well as being an extraordinary champion. I can think of a few undead, demons and wanta be human types that would love the opportunity, okay only one real contender…” Lorne glanced up the stairs and sighed, suddenly becoming quiet.
Xander blinked. “Ah, Willow, why are they here?”
“Where’s Buffy and Angel?” Dawn asked.
“We’re here cuz Cordy told us too come and help stop the end of the world. Angel’s upstairs with Connor, trying to convince him that his mommy is all right. Buffy’s with Gunn, Wesley and Cordy stopping a demon orgy.” Fred supplied.
“Demon orgy?…Wait, Cordy? Willow.” Xander turned quickly to his friend.
“The end of the world? Connor’s mommy? I thought Darla was like dust, twice, right?”
“She is, I’m talking about Cordy. She’s been Connor’s mommy since that horrible night. Well, beautiful in that we got Connor, but horrible just the same. It was raining, Angel was so upset with Darla trying to kill Cordy and then of course the baby on it’s way, not to mention Holtz trying to kill him. Horrible, beautiful and sad.” Fred glanced up to the stairs. “Not that I particularly cared for D..A…R…L..A, being all evil and everything, but she did stake herself, but she shouldn’t have bitten Cordy. There I said it.” Fred turned to Lorne. “That’s how I really feel.”
“Lambkins, safe to say that’s how we all felt.”
“Willow, why does…” Xander interupptd looking quickly at the pretty brunette back to Willow.
“Fred.” The brunette pushed up her glasses.
“Sorry, I don’t have your number system." Xander replied.
“Gee, how about short term memory then, I just told you. And if you have a question to ask me, then ask, I’m here.” Fred narrowed her eyes.
Xander blinked. This was not the same fragile young woman that cried at the drop of a hat at Cordelia’s funeral.
“Okay, again, sorry, why are you speaking like Cordy’s alive?”
“Because she is.” Fred stated firmly and clearly.
“UM, Fred.” Willow stuttered to interrupt. “Cordy, said she is dead.”
“Right, Cordy died…wait did you just say Cordy SAID she was dead,” Xander turned to Willow.
“Yes, but Angel said that he would fix that” Fred glared.
“Lambkins, kitten, I’ll be the first… okay…last." Lorne shot a looked at Willow and Xander in line of…”Lorne shot a look at Willow and Xander. “…last in line of the LA brigade family conga line, which will be first, shouting for joy if Angelcakes can fix this. But Cordy keeps insisting that she’s dead, by the Power’s order and I can’t read her soul.”
Xander threw up his hands. “What’s with the present tense? I sent flowers and wore a suit.” He yelled. "Is Cordy alive or dead?"
“Alive.” Angel came back down the stairs. “It’s been 42 minutes. Why isn’t she back yet?”
Chapter 11
Continue on...
Cordelia pointed. “Yucky sex death threat, there.”
Buffy, Wesley and Gunn stalled looked at the trees and bushes impenetrable in their mass and closeness.
“In there? Kinda of like clogged with leaves and birch.” Gunn asked.
Cordy glared. “In there, behind if that makes you more inclined to do the machete thing.”
“Why didn’t you say so, girl?” Gunn started swinging his axe.
Wesley quickly followed suite.
Buffy stood behind watching. Even Cordelia was swinging a sharp blade against the overgrown foliage. Buffy cringed at the voice of the sixteen year old that was still present inside, growing with a venage ever since Buffy saw Angel and Cordelia together. That young girl wanted Cordelia to look like idiot drawing them out on a wild demon chase. But, the older Buffy knew that wasn’t happening. Buffy just wished she had brought an axe. Then she would be swiping and not thinking, reliving a high school girl's insecurities.
“Tunnel.” Wesley called, moving forward. Gunn and Cordelia quickly moved behind him. Buffy still remained motionless. Intellectually, she knew that Wesley had been helping Angel and that Angel’s now anger towards the man was real, not because Wesley had been inefficient or that some careless act on his part caused the tragedies of a year ago. Angel’s very real anger was because Wesley had been a trusted friend, one with strength and skill that betrayed Angel and his family. A former friend that Angel hated but would allow to help…whatever, this was, because Cordelia said so. Buffy was confused and really having a hard time correlating the idiot Wesley she knew from high school, to the one that she briefly heard about when Cordelia died, to the one that went straight into danger at the beckoning of the girl supposedly he killed because of his betrayal.
Gunn, Buffy couldn’t comment on. He had been silent and angry during her visit during Cordelia’s funeral. If the young man said a word, it was a grunt, almost beating out Angel for his stoic stillness. But, Buffy sensed his strength and could see why Angel trusted him to watch his back.
Those observations aside, there was Cordelia. Not a complaint from her, since she walked out of the house towards not really known danger. Buffy knew that Cordelia had been Angel’s seer, seeing awful visions of the helpless and such and being a sort of direction guide for the vampire while he was in LA, but she hadn’t expected Cordelia to grab up sword confidently and lead the group in an active type role.
Cordelia gave directions and Wesley and Gunn followed. Buffy noticed that Gunn had tried to engage Cordelia in banter of some sort. Buffy had been surprised that Cordelia hadn’t snubbed the young man or flayed one of her stinging come backs that she had been famous for in high school. And at her silence, Gunn, the tough man, looked sad.
Buffy was sure that she saw him smile when Cordelia finally responded to that dump drain shrubbery comment.
Now, Cordelia had stopped. “Are you coming, or what? Slayer, help, demon frenzy, kick ass girl. Geez.”
Buffy blinked her thoughts away and followed.
****************
Cordelia laid a hand on Wesley. “You need to go that way.” She pointed.
“Cordy, the demon mother is that way. The victim of your vision.”
“I know.” Cordelia said softly. “Gunn and I will go. Buffy, go with Wesley.” She tugged on Wesley’s arm at his hesitation. “Wes, there is a marker or something a …shit, I don’t know, but it’s important, like really world ending type of important, that’s why you have to go. It’s round, stone with writing. Get it, you need to figure out what it means and Buffy has to go with you to make sure that you get there. Go.”
“Cordy?”
“You heard, man, you here for a purpose- your brains, go, dawg.” Gunn said.
Wesley ignored Gunn and stared straight into Cordelia’s eyes. “He’ll really kill me this time, if you don’t come back.”
“I’ll be fine, I’ve got demonizy powers and Gunn, that demon mommy chick is safe. Go.” Cordelia smiled lighting up the small cavern.
Wesley stared, reaching out a tentative hand gently landing on Cordelia’s face. “I missed you.”
“Go.” Cordelia ordered, her eyes suddenly becoming cold, her heart breaking.
Wesley nodded in acceptance at Cordelia’s look and moved in the
direction she pointed.