Title: The Fine Line
Author: onlyann (Anne)
Posted: 01-19-2004
Email:
Rating: NC-17
Category:
Content: C/A
Summary: This is in response to a challenge posted by Psychofilly back in Sept. 2003 on the ‘Hiatus Challenge thread’.
Spoilers: BTVS Season 3
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made. Ryan Chamberlain and Kevin Collins- characters belonging to General Hospital – Jill F. Phelps, Executive Procedure; Port Charles Julie Carrruthers, Executive Procedure.
Distribution:
Notes:
Feedback:
Thanks/Dedication: Becky and Kel. Those lovely talented women have given me nothing but encouragement, help, and support on this story.Part 72
Barney smacked the shovel over the freshly strewn dirt. Then he stuck it in the tightly packed earth and leaned on the handle to kneel down. “Darlin’, I’ll miss you. I do wish our last moments had been more pleasurable. But, I blame it on that ‘Angel’ and his interference. Had he not hid my new rose from my sight, I wouldn’t have been so distracted.” Barney lumbered to his feet. “I will make him pay. I promise.” Barney tossed a bouquet of red roses on the makeshift grave.
He backed away, his eyes roaming to take in the multiple rows of drying and decaying bouquets. He bunched his fist. He prided himself on his ability to lavish attention on each of his flowers. He hated that he had failed this one. His darlin’ should’ve have seen his face and felt his touch as she wilted back to the earth. She shouldn’t have been alone. He promised that once Cordelia Chase was his, he would punish her supposed ‘guardian angel’ for the neglect.
Barney plodded up the wooden steps, hoping that his last flower knew of his intentions and would forgive him once he had his revenge. He sighed loudly as he pulled up the stairs when he reached the basement. Then he dragged the large metal shelving over the trap door. Turning off the overhead light, he went up a second set of stairs to the bare kitchen.
He popped open a can of beer and looked around. He ached with loneliness. He sighed again. He had wished to vent his frustrations with his dearly departed. Grumbling, he leaned his large frame against the worn counter. His search of the school had told him nothing of value.
Barney crushed the empty can in between his hands. He would find her. Soon he wouldn’t be alone. Tomorrow he would start his new job and then she would come to him.
***
In the dream, Angel’s skin was immersed in heat and a steady rhythm beat within his chest. The scent of spice and wildflowers circled around him causing his blood to flow. He didn’t want to wake and lose the sensations.
Except, Angel thought with waking realization, it wasn’t a dream. Cordelia was no longer just next to him. Sometime during the night she had reached into his space. Her luscious body covered his, softer and smoother than the velvet quilt ever could be. He frowned as he noticed that his leg was dangling off the edge of the bed.
He ignored the hows of that and concentrated on the body in his arms. He cursed his sweat pants and her pajamas. The combined materials blocked the feel of her leg on his thighs. His hands itched to rip them off. Yet, if he moved, then his fingers would have to leave the smooth curve of her lower back. He breathed in deeply and brushed his cheek against the brown silk that rested in the crook of his shoulder.
It was as close too heaven as he would ever be. He inched his fingers upward, traveling along Cordy’s back. ‘Mine’ he wanted to brand on the sweetness.
He froze as she shifted in his arms. Flashpoints of fire spread along his arm where her hand found rest.
He reached over with his other hand to brush away her hair. He wanted to see her face when he woke her with pleasure. There could be no dispute that she came to him in her sleep. It was close enough to his self-imposed rules. It had to be. His reaching hand paused as Darcy caught his attention. The kitten was diagonally laid out on his back with all four legs splayed out increasing his tiny size triple-fold.
Angel wasn't sure how the kitten was able to push them both to the edge of the bed. But that had to be the how and why Cordelia was on top of him and his leg half way off the bed. A soft chuckle vibrated in Angel’s chest causing his shoulders to shake. Then he froze. “Damn,” he muttered as Cordelia stirred.
“Angel?” She blinked and then leaned up from his chest. He grasped her shoulders stopping her movement and drew his thumb over her lips. “Shh. You’ll wake him. And before you start, you’re on ‘my’ side. He took yours.” Angel said softly as he nodded for her to look.
He ignored her embarrassed glare and urged again. Finally, she looked and then started to giggle. Her giggles burgeoned into laughter as she hid her face in Angel’s chest. “He looks so cute,” she gasped into Angel’s t-shirt.
Darcy, waking, gracefully rolled to his feet and sat on his haunches. He eyed the couple and then proceeded to lick his paw.
“You woke him,” Angel whispered, taking the opportunity to nuzzle at the soft patch of skin behind her ear.
Still chuckling, Cordelia moved to sit up. Angel kept his arms around her and this time she didn’t struggle.
“Angel,” she said, leaning back into him. “Look at him.” She jerked her head to the yawning kitten. “One minute he is, like huge,” Cordelia brought her hands up and stretched them out, “and now he that tiny thing. What a goofball. You’re a goofball and a bed hog,” she leaned forward until she was eye level with Darcy.
Cordelia shook her head at the cat's meow. “No shame. Well, I’m getting up.” Cordelia scooted towards her edge of the bed. She rolled her eyes at the motionless cat. “Anytime Darcy.” She waved her hand at him then shrugged as Darcy continued to groom himself. “Angel, take him downstairs and get him his medicine and breakfast. I have to get ready for school.”
“I don’t know, Cordy.” Angel brushed his fingers along her ponytail. “I like his idea of staying in bed.”
“Pfft.” Cordelia swung her feet toward the side. “That’s because you both don’t need a diploma.”
Angel scooped Darcy out of her path and cradled the kitten in the crook of his arm. Petting Darcy, Angel watched Cordelia leave the bedroom. “That was a very good plan that you had last night,” he whispered into Darcy’s big ears.
“Meow.”
“Do you really understand or are you just hungry?"
Part 73
Angel and Darcy stared as Cordelia closed the trap door to the school’s basement. Darcy let out a plaintive meow.
“I know I don’t like either.” Angel resisted the urge to go after her and drag her back to the mansion.
“She’ll be back.” Angel still stood at the door, acknowledging as Darcy whined again, that he was feeling as abandoned as the cat, except that he was also angry and getting a headache
“Come on.” Angel swiftly turned and headed back to the mansion. “Shh, she can’t hear you,” he coaxed the crying kitten to be quiet.
***
Angel's head was on fire. Darcy’s high-pitch whines were piercing his eardrums like razor-sharp pins. “Please.” He begged. “Don’t make me kill you.”
Darcy was silent for a moment and blinked his gold rimmed- eyes up at Angel. They stared at each other for a second and then Darcy let out a loud wail.
Angel pulled the kitten up to his face. “I said be quiet.” Angel growled, feeling his eyes go hot.
Darcy’s ears flattened back against his head as he spat and growled. “Crap.” Angel immediately reverted back to his human face but it was too late. Darcy had squirmed out of his arms and disappeared in the sewer.
Angel stood motionless. His only thought was that even if Cordelia didn’t kill him, she definitely wouldn’t ever sleep with him again.
That unacceptable thought forced his voice drop to a cajoling tone. “Darcy, come back. I won’t hurt you I promise. Darcy.”
He listened, but didn’t hear a mew in response. He concentrated harder, searching for a tiny heartbeat and Darcy’s scent. “Darcy,” he called.
He stilled as he heard the fall of debris on the sewer floor. He looked up, his eyes narrowing on the small form tucked in a break in the wall. “Come here, Darcy.” He beckoned to the cringing kitten. “You can’t like it up there. I promise, I won’t hurt you.” He slowly reached out his hand, stopping, when Darcy backed further into the wall.
“If you stay here, you won’t see Cordy again,” Angel said with a sinking feeling in his gut. He wasn’t confident that Cordy would easily accept the loss of Darcy. He sighed. Getting Cordelia a cat had seemed like such a good plan at the time.
“Come on, please.” He moved closer, this time purposely making noise, as his senses fixated on the kitten.
Darcy jumped, but Angel moved quicker. He rolled on the floor clutching Darcy safely to his chest.
Angel sat up. “Shh,” he murmured into fur of the shaking kitten. “I won’t hurt you. It’s just me, Angel. You know me.” Angel’s fingers continuously rubbed at Darcy, trying to sooth the agitated kitten.
Darcy began to calm.
“That’s right.” Angel shoulders dropped in relief. Darcy had stopped shaking, but Angel kept petting him to ensure his compliance. “Good kitty,” Angel encouraged him. Angel smiled as Darcy started to purr.
“Okay, now I want you to see something.” Angel brought Darcy up to face. “It’s okay,” Angel said in the same soothing voice he had been using. “I just sometimes have eyes like you.”
Darcy stopped purring and watched Angel intently. “And I can do this.” Angel growled low in his chest, the ridges along his forehead became more pronounced. “But, it’s still me.” He scratched at Darcy’s head.
Angel was pleased to see that Darcy’s big ears had remained straight. “That’s right. It’s okay.” Darcy reached out a tentative paw and tapped Angel’s nose.
“Oh you want to play?” Angel smiled, running his fingers over the kitten, turning him on his back to tickle his stomach.
“Friends, again?” Angel asked, hugging the kitten back into his chest. “We don’t have to tell Cordy about this, do we?”
Part 74
“Hold on.” Angel cradled Darcy closer and made a dash to the shade of the atrium. “We’re home.” Angel couldn’t help another sigh of relief. While Darcy hadn’t gotten upset again, Angel’s headache along with his tension had been building all the way through the tunnels.
Angel paused and Darcy’s ears perked up. “I hear it, too.”
He moved silently towards the noise coming from inside the mansion. “Demon,” he told the cat as if Darcy asked.
“What the … “ Angel stopped in the doorway of the living room. A green ass was bopping in the air in the middle of his living room.
Angel strode over and grabbed the owner by the arm.
“Oh hey!” The green spiny demon yanked the Walkman off and stood. Angel eyed the demon as he nervously tugged at his tool belt.
“Hi, I’m Larry.” The demon dropped his hand as Angel remained motionless and eyed him.
“Erik sent me, said it would be okay to just come on in.” Larry coughed. “You’re supposed to be expecting me.”
Angel stopped listening at the mention of Erik and turned his attention to the gleaming new TV beside the demon. He frowned at the size. When did TVs get so big? “What are you doing?”
“You want cable right?” The demon pulled out a clipboard. “It says cable,” he pointed to the paper.
Angel shrugged. “Just get it done. Where’s Erik?”
“Had to work. Oh, here’s your change. I took my fee out of it.” The demon backed away. “Erik said it was okay.” Larry stepped further back. “Hey, I don’t cheat guys with fangs. Bad for my health.” He shoved a bundle of cash towards Angel. “Hey cute kitty. Lunch?” He coughed again, trying for a smile.
“Just get it done and get out of here.”
Angel slumped on the sofa but got immediately to his feet when he realized that he had a perfect view of Larry’s ass.
“Let’s go upstairs,” he whispered to Darcy.
Darcy’s answering meow erupted into a hiss as a drill sounded throughout the room. “Ow.” Angel shook his hand. Darcy had used all of his claws to push off from Angel’s grip. “Darcy,” Angel called out over the drill to the escaping cat.
“Would you stop that?” Angel smacked the side of the demon's head.
“Wha...” The demon looked up. “Almost done.” He turned on the drill again to finish the small hole in the wall. “After this. I just got to do the connection and then I’ll be gone.”
Angel rubbed harshly at his face and then sighed. “Darcy.” He shook his head as his eyes wandered around the room hoping to see him.
He closed his eyes, but instead of a small heartbeat, he heard off-tune humming. “Would you shut up?” Angel growled at the demon.
“Geez-Louise. Fine. I’m done.” The demon shook his head as he gathered his tools. “Erik warned me that you were a hard case.”
Angel waited until the door was closed before he concentrated on sensing Darcy. He moved to the weapons cabinet and peered behind it. Two wide black eyes rimmed with gold looked up at him.
“How did you fit behind there?” Angel shook his head at the small kitten and the even smaller space that he was positioned in. He pulled the weapons cabinet from the wall. "Darcy," he said softly and then yelled as the kitten took off for the stairs. Angel reached out to catch him but Darcy dodged his questing hand and tumbled through the banister tines onto the floor.
“Crap.” Angel ran down the stairs, but Darcy was already up on his feet and scrambling back behind the weapon’s cabinet.
Angel leaned down on the floor. “Darcy, come on, the noisy demon left. Please.” Angel lay straight out, his hand reaching towards the two gold eyes.
Angel knocked his forehead on the floor. “Please,” he begged. He stilled. Darcy was inching out. “That’s it,” he whispered. Angel willed the kitten closer as he kept his body motionless.
Darcy’s head reached out and sniffed at Angel.
“It’s me.” Angel slowly brought his hand up to clutch him.
Angel sat up, sitting cross-legged, and pulled Darcy on his lap. Angel had a moment of relief before Darcy started crying. “No, no, no.” He whispered. “Hey.” Angel switched into his vampire guise. “We can play.” Darcy ignored the change and continued to whine.
“No.” Angel rubbed at his temple.
Part 75
Cordelia skimmed through her history book. It was useless. She couldn’t focus on the words. She looked up at the other students in the study hall. They were either studying or gossiping. She tuned out the voices of Harmony and Aura. Their bitchy debate as to whether more cute college guys came to the Starbucks or the Burger Heaven had lost its appeal early on.
All she could think about was how she woke up that morning, or rather where she woke up. It was the second time she woke up with Angel's arms around her. And it had felt wonderful. So much so that it was scary.
She rubbed her lips, remembering the feel of his finger shushing her. What would his lips have felt like? She reluctantly dropped her hand. She couldn’t think like that.
Just then, her purse vibrated against her leg. Cordelia reached for her buzzing phone.
“Cordy.”
“Angel?” Cordelia hurried to the corner of the room and shot a look around to see if any was listening.
“You have to come home now.”
Cordelia frowned at the phone. Angel almost sounded panicky. “Is that Darcy?” she asked hearing a high whine in the background.
“Ah - yeah.”
“Angel?” Cordelia stared at the phone as if it could give her the meaning behind Angel’s sarcasm or the following silence. She brought the phone back to her ear as Darcy’s cries echoed through the phone. “Angel, take the phone away from Darcy and talk to me,” she whispered harshly.
“He’s been doing that since you left.”
“All the time?”
“Except when he was howling.”
“Have you picked him up?” Cordelia didn’t bother to stop the rolling of her eyes.
“Don’t even.”
Cordelia involuntary took a step back. Angel had obviously heard the bite in her tone and he wasn't amused. Her thought was verified by his sharp answer.
“I haven’t let him down. I pet him. I play with him. But he keeps crying. He wants you home.”
“I can’t just keep leaving school.” Cordelia straightened. He couldn’t order her around. But still, Cordelia frowned as she heard Darcy whining in the background. Maybe she *should* go.
“Cordelia, that story about the n.a.i.l.i.n.g. wasn’t just a story.”
Cordelia gasped. “You’re losing it and if you touch Darcy in any other way than nice – you’re dust.”
“Then you’d better come home.”
“How? Walk?”
“The sewers.”
“Alone? No way.” Cordelia shook her head as if Angel could see her opinion on that suggestion.
“Be in the basement in ten minutes.” Angel declared.
Cordelia stared at the phone. He'd ordered her around AND hung up on her. So wrong, she grumbled as she went to pick up her books and think of another excuse to leave school early.
***
Cordelia waved over her shoulder at the school nurse. “Thanks, bye,” she said, as she hurried out of infirmary.
“Great,” she muttered. She crumbled the white piece of paper the nurse had given her. The cramp excuse was no longer an option, not unless she wanted the nurse to personally escort her to a gynecologist.
“Where are you off too, young lady?"
Cordelia jerked to a stop. “It’s your business, how?” She eyed the large security guard standing before her.
“Perhaps you should come with me.”
“Hey.” Cordelia narrowed her eyes at the beefy hand that clutched her arm. “Let me go. I’ve been excused.”
“Well, I’ll walk you to your car, then.”
“That’s okay.” Cordelia tugged at her arm.
“What’s happening here?”
Cordelia looked up to see Principal Snyder. She had never been so happy to see the troll. The security guard gave her the creeps. “Miss Chase, why are you out of class?”
“I’ve been excused by Nurse Creighton.” With a hard tug, she freed herself from the security guard. “And this Steven Segal wannabe grabbed me. I have a note.” She shoved the crumpled paper at the principal.
She rubbed her abused arm as Snyder dissected the note. Finally, he looked up at her. “On your way then.” Cordelia cut short her sigh and took off. She smiled as Snyder started lecturing the security guard on the proper behavior of school employees.
***
“You can stop now,” Angel told the crying kitten as he yanked open the trap door. “Here.” Angel held the cat out before Cordelia had a chance to cross the threshold.
She ignored his outstretched hands and the kitten. “Big baby.” She fisted her hands on her hips.
“Cordelia,” Angel said slowly with a hard glare.
She rolled her eyes and took Darcy. “Oh sweetie, what are we going to do with you?” She said, nuzzling the now-purring kitten.
Angel was tempted to suggest the nailing thing again. But, now that Cordelia was next to him, and with Darcy finally quiet, his headache had miraculously disappeared.
He turned his attention to Cordelia. The kitten was curled up under her neck. She was scolding him in light murmurs. Right. Darcy would definitely get that he was a ‘bad kitty’ when she said it like that.
Angel frowned as he noticed that the she was rubbing at her arm. He stepped closer and reached out to move her hand away. “What happened?” he asked sharply as he brushed his thumb over the red marks on her skin.
“Hmm.” Cordelia looked up at Angel and then at her arm. “Oh, nothing. Just a Neanderthal-type security guard.”
“He hurt you.” Angel didn’t even bother to tame his growl.
“No.” Cordelia shook her head and shrugged it off. “Come on.” She took Angel’s hand in hers. “Let’s go home.”
Angel wanted to ask more about the security guard. Or just go back into the school and pummel the guard for touching her. But, he looked down to where their hands met. She was holding his hand and she’d said, 'Let’s go home'. Pummeling could wait.
Part 76
Barney stood motionless and waited for the principal to stop lecturing him. He wasn’t listening, though. Every time a word came out of the man’s mouth, Barney heard the snap of his neck being broken.
Finally, Snyder stopped with a firm nod. Barney’s narrowed eyes watched as he retreated to his office. If he lost Cordelia the annoying man would pay.
After a few minutes of fruitless searching, Barney slammed his fist into the wall. Cordelia was not in the locker room or anywhere else. He stared at the exit door off to the side of the gym. He’d lost her.
He rubbed his gun and thought seriously about finding Snyder and blowing the back of his head off. He took a deep breath. His patience was reaching its limits but he could wait until tomorrow.
***
Angel looked down at his abandoned hand and then frowned up at Darcy. Cordy had unceremoniously dropped it to hug the kitten. His annoyance at Darcy was back.
“Angel, you can’t still be mad at him.” She cupped Darcy and brought him up to Angel’s face. His eyes flickered from the kitten to her. Cordelia’s expression labeled him the biggest ass if he had the nerve to say yes.
“No,” Angel sighed, petting Darcy’s head. He was rewarded with a smile from Cordy and a purr from Darcy.
Angel’s hand followed the kitten back to Cordy’s chest. He gingerly brought his other arm around her shoulders nudging her closer. “What?” he said at her questioning look. “You’re not the only one that gets to pet him.” His eyes returned to the kitten as he continued to stroke Darcy but his other senses concentrated on Cordy walking next to him.
***
“Wha – the – Oh, my God.” Angel took Darcy in his arms as Cordelia suddenly forgot the kitten’s presence. “What’s that?” She pointed to the TV. As soon as she said it, she realized the stupidity of her question. Of course it was a TV. A really nice TV; a really big TV. But what the hell was it doing in the middle of the living room? “Angel?” Her raised brows ordered him to explain.
“It was on Miss Twittle’s list.” He shrugged.
Cordelia’s mind was spinning. Making Miss Twittle happy was make-believe. Yet there was honest-to-God TV sitting there. She felt a burst of guilt that Angel took her lie to the extreme. “You shouldn’t have.” She shook her head.
Angel shrugged. “Buying one seemed a lot easier than explaining to Miss Twittle why I hadn’t.”
The guilt overwhelmed her. “I’m sorry for all the trouble that I caused you,” she said softly.
Angel moved closer and cupped her cheek. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he whispered against her cheek.
Cordelia cringed. Should she lean into Angel or should she go running? Her mind would’ve still debated the question except that Darcy gave her another option. She blinked as the kitten nudged her chin.
“What?” Darcy jumped down and scrambled to his bowl in the kitchen. “Did you feed him?” All questions or thoughts about her attraction to Angel disappeared.
“Yes, he’s fine.”
Cordelia squirmed away from his embrace. “I don’t think so. You said he was crying. We should call Miss Twittle.”
“Miss Twittle?”
Cordelia nodded, ignoring Angel’s confused expression. Honestly, she was happy to see him less than unflappable. It gave her a weird sort of confidence. “Yeah, she’s our cat expert.”
“We don’t –”
Cordelia hmmphed in satisfaction as Angel stopped his words at her hand up in his face.
Part 77
Angel sat as close to Cordelia as he could without exchanging her for Darcy on his lap. And he was very tempted to do just that if only to get Cordelia to stop paying all of her attention to Miss Twittle.
He took a deep breath as he realized the foolishness of such an action and switched his concentration to their phone conversation.
“Oh dear,” Miss Twittle chuckled. “Cordy, where is Darcy now?”
“Oh Angel’s lap. He seems really happy. He’s purring.”
Angel felt a bit less annoyed --- at least she did realize that he was next to her. His fingers did double time on the area around Darcy’s big ears. The kitten melted against his hand and purred even louder. Angel smugly looked up at Cordelia, who rolled her eyes at him.
“Honey, tell me the truth.”
Angel narrowed his eyes at the sudden tension in Cordelia’s shoulders. Darcy squirmed at the abrupt stillness of his hand. What the hell was Miss Twittle talking about?
Cordelia tried to clear her throat but still ended up stuttering. “I am.”
Angel wanted to slam the phone down to silence Miss Twittle’s demand for the truth and conversely,to grab it closer to clearly hear what she had to say. He decided to stay still and just listen. Cordelia was becoming comfortable in the mansion. It was more important that he discern if Miss Twittle’s words would be a threat to Cordy’s growing acceptance of him and their situation rather than her obvious agitation over Miss Twittle’s question.
“Yes, dear. Now tell me the rest --- did you even go to school today?”
“Of course, but then … well, Darcy was driving Angel really nuts. He wouldn’t stop crying.” Cordelia’s shoulders relaxed. Angel took a deep breath; relieved that Miss Twittle was so easily handled.
“You’re coddling him.”
“Angel?” Cordelia narrowed her eyes at Angel. ‘Did you just Pfft’, she mouthed.
He returned her question with an innocent gaze.
A soft chuckle sounded through the phone. “No dear, Darcy.”
He maintained his expression and continued to pet Darcy, as Cordelia gave silent ‘Pfft’ and turned back to the phone.
“But --- “
“Cordy, Darcy is a cat.”
Angel nodded. That’s what he had been telling her.
“I --- “
“Honey, you’re spoiling Darcy. You don’t need to be with him every minute. It’s no wonder that he cried when you went to school.”
“But --- “
“No, Cordelia. I’d wager a bet, if I did such a illegal thing, that neither you nor Angel have actually allowed Darcy to explore on his own.”
“But, Miss Twittle, he’s so small he could get lost.”
Angel cringed, remembering the couple of times that Darcy had escaped from him. That wasn’t going to happen again. Angel would rather carry Darcy around even if he looked like one of those flighty Victorian ladies and their equally annoying lap poodles.
“He won’t, not as long as you make sure he can’t get outside. Let him walk around the house on his own four feet. He needs to learn independence.”
“But, he likes to be held and petted,” Cordy said, shooting Angel a questioning look.
Angel nodded, hoping to encourage her just in case Miss Twittle suggested exiling the kitten from their bedroom.
“Of course he does and you should. But kittens can be left to their own devices for a period of time. They’re quite the self-sufficient little creatures.”
“But --- “
“No, buts, Cordelia. You have to go to school and to work ---“
“Work?”
“Yes, work.” Miss Twittle chuckled. “The store is scheduled to open in a couple of days. I expect you to be there.”
“Of course.” Cordelia nodded.
Angel’s chest constricted. He had forgotten about Cordelia’s misguided notion that she needed to work. Convincing her otherwise wouldn’t be easy. It would probably best if he just made sure that the dress store never re-opened.
“Now, Cordy, I would suggest that perhaps you and Angel go out tonight and enjoy yourselves --- leaving Darcy to his own devices. Of course, I do expect you both to keep alert for any dangers.”
Angel felt his chest tighten again. He didn’t want to leave the mansion, or more particularly he didn’t want to leave his position on the sofa next to Cordelia.
Part 78
“So,” Cordelia sighed, leaning back on the couch. “We’re supposed to go out.” She stretched her hand out to join in petting Darcy.
“We can do that.” The more Angel thought about the idea the more he could accept it. He wouldn’t necessarily be alone with Cordy but he was sure he would have an easier time distracting her from strangers rather than needy presence of Darcy. “Where?”
Cordy’s brow wrinkled. “Not Starbucks. Harmony works there. Not the Bronze. Who knows who’ll be there? Maybe the mall?” She suggested, straightening up. “No,” she sighed, her shoulders slumping. “It’s no fun without money and anyway Aura and Josh work at Burger Heaven in the Food Court. Though,” she perked up. “I would love to see them in those stupid hats. But, then we can’t let any body see us. Jeez. Sunnydale is sinking into an even smaller pit by the minute.” She frowned.
“Why can’t anybody see us?” Angel asked.
“Duh, someone sees us ‘out’,” she quoted in the air, “ and it will be around school by first bell. By second I’d be cornered by an angry slayer, and by third, while my pummeled body is being wiped up, you’d have her on your doorstep. And to appease her irrational anger you’d tell her the truth. And that’s so not happening.”
“Even IF that highly imaginative scenario was to occur. Buffy wouldn’t hurt you.” He stopped at her loud snort. “I wouldn’t let her. Anyway, it’s none of her business.”
Cordelia snorted again, even louder.
“It’s not.” Angel said firmly.
“Angel, you know nothing about women or Buffy if you believe that. You may no longer be ‘dating’ --- “.
“Stop that.” Angel grabbed her upraised fingers.
She tugged at her hands and dropped them to her lap. “Fine. But whatever your delusions, Buffy hasn’t given up her leash,” she continued. “And you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t give up my secret if it was a choice between it and her being angry with you.”
Angel leaned in closer, ignoring Darcy’s irritated squeal as the kitten was driven off his lap. “I told you.” His jaw clenched so that the words came out sharp and low. “There is NO leash.”
“Whatever.” Cordelia’s gaze flickered to the floor.
“Not whatever.” Angel leaned in even closer to block any possible movement on her part. “Buffy has nothing to do with this. THIS is about us --- “
“Us?” Cordelia squeaked as her hands fluttered on his chest.
“Yes, us.” Angel pushed her hands away and leaned back against the couch. “And YOUR apparent lack of trust.” He crossed his arms. Turning to look at her, he said, “I thought you trusted me. I don’t know what else I can do for you to prove it.” His seemingly half haphazard wave hovered in the direction of the new TV. He turned his gaze to the far wall.
“I --- I do trust you,” she stuttered.
Angel shook his head.
“Angel, I do --- it’s just that --- I know how you feel about Buffy.”
He jerked away from her approaching hand. “You don’t know anything about me or the way I feel if you think I would betray you.” Angel got up and turned away from her.
Cordelia fidgeted and gathered her breath in the heavy silence. Finally, she jumped up from the couch and moved in front him. “I’m so sorry, Angel.” She reached out again. “I do trust you. I swear. You’ve been wonderful --- are wonderful.” She squeezed his arm.
“I thought you had begun to think of me as a friend,” He said softly as he looked at the floor.
“Oh God, I do.” Cordelia reassured him as she wrapped her arms around him.
”You swear,” he whispered into the crook o f neck.
“Definitely.” She nodded into his shoulder.
“Good.” Angel said as he pulled her body flush against his. “Because that’s what I want,” he whispered as he hid his satisfied smile in the depths of her hair.
Part 79
Cordelia’s mind rang with caution, but her body rejoiced at the solid feel of him against her. She did trust him, she vowed, pushing aside the doubts that Buffy’s name brought up.
She didn’t necessarily hate Buffy, but her life had seemed a lot easier before the slayer showed up. Sure, Buffy saved her life plenty of times, but her life had never been in danger before then.
Cordelia refused to rub her head at what was beginning to be a ‘chicken or the egg argument’. What was important was that Angel had offered her friendship when she had no one and she couldn’t let her mixed-up feeling about Buffy screw that up.
Hell, Buffy had nothing to do with her being poor.
Settling the important issue in her mind, she trailed her hands over Angel’s shoulder’s to rest them on his chest. “You’ve been great. A real friend.” She repeated, blinking back tears that threatened to fall.
“That’s all I want. For you to trust me.” Angel cupped her chin.
Cordelia leaned in to his touch. “I do.”
“Good.” Angel nudged her back so that their eyes met. “So, trust me now.”
“I --- okay.” Cordelia didn’t understand the change i9n Angel, but didn’t question it. She wanted Angel to believe her and it seemed he now did.
“Go, upstairs and freshen up.”
Cordelia’s shoulders tightened. Tenderness and hotness aside, he’d just ordered her to go upstairs and that just wasn’t who she was.
Except, she reasoned before any words could snap out, her face did feel a bit puffy. And she probably should look in a mirror soon or she’d be really embarrassed and, she sighed, there was the way he touched her. She’d hate to lose the tingling feeling along her skin just to prove a point that would most likely be moot because he was probably right.
However, Cordelia paused in her acceptance of his order. “Angel?”
As if reading her mind, he said, “I have an idea on how we can stay within both Miss Twittle’s instructions and your parameters.”
Cordelia frowned. He didn’t have to say that last part, especially so disapprovingly … She told him that she trusted him. He was acting like such a freak. Maybe she should just go upstairs and stay there.
Again her doubts disappeared as Angel brushed his lips against her forehead. “I believe you. And you’re right. We don’t need to take the chance of unwanted interruptions. Now go.” He pushed her gently towards the stairs.
Cordelia’s mind finally caught up with her. No way was she letting a little sweetness make her into absolute putty. “Where are we going?”
“Pizza. I saw the way you looked at that commercial.” He turned his head towards the glow of the muted TV. “We’ll order out and then leave to pick it up --- thereby giving Darcy his independence per Miss Twittle. Then we’ll eat out in the garden --- so you don’t have to be seen with me.” His deep gaze flickered on her and then moved to rest on the floor.
A surge of guilt pushed up from her toes. She couldn’t stop herself from running towards him. “There is no way that I’m ashamed to be seen with you.” She bit her lip, searching for the very first thought she had of him. “You’re salty goodness --- a hottie.”
He frowned as he brushed her hands away. “I’m a vampire.”
She straightened her shoulders. “Yeah, a really hot one that happens to be MY friend.” She brought her hands up again to his chest. “And your idea sounds great. I’ll just be a minute.”
***
Cordelia slumped on the bed hugging her knees. She peered through her blurry eyes at the envelopes on the dresser. She could no longer pretend that she could ever pay Angel back.
She pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes. Sure he could be bossy, but all in all he was too nice, way too gorgeous, and had done so much for her. It was making the whole thing difficult. She’d almost forgotten that he was a vampire, or rather, that his being a vampire should be an ‘ewwy’ turn off.
She thought back at the hurt look in his eyes, a look she didn’t ever want to see again. So she braced her shoulders and got up, cringing when she saw her reflection in the mirror.
Angel had seen her with drippy eye-makeup. That would also never again, she vowed as she hurried to the bathroom.
***
“Darcy?” Angel looked down at the whining kitten. “Fine,” he said, picking Darcy up. “You’ve got until Cordy comes back downstairs to be coddled. But, just to let you know, if you ruin this for me you’ll be a door decoration.”
Darcy’s dark eyes were rimmed with gold as he stared at Angel. Angel scratched the cat’s head. “You aren’t nearly big enough to pull that threat off. But, don’t worry,” Angel hugged the kitten. “I want what you want --- to keep Cordy here.”
Part 80
“Don’t you want another piece?” Angel gestured to the pizza box on the stone bench between him and Cordelia.
“I’ve already had --- “ Cordelia’s eyes widened as her hand flew up. She coughed loudly in a panicked attempt to disguise her burp. At her failure, her head flew down to the cradle of her hands.
“Stop laughing.” She managed to sneak a glare at Angel. “After all, you did it.”
“Me?” Angel pointed to his chest.
“Yes, it couldn’t have been me. Cordelia Chase does not burp.” She took her head with conviction. “So, therefore, it had to be you.”
Angel’s smile grew wider. “As persuasive as your logic is --- it’s just not true. The ‘huge’,” he held his hands out,” – burp was all Cordelia Chase. You know ---,” Angel paused and cocked his head at the side door.
Cordelia crossed her arms and raised a brow. “What?” Her reproach belied that delight she felt. She should be mortified and angry that he was teasing her about such an uncouth thing but she was having too much fun watching him smile.
“I hear Darcy scrambling to hide. Maybe you should go in and explain to him that the ungodly noise came from you and not some monster waiting to devour him.”
“So, says a devouring monster,” she automatically retorted.
“Excuse me, a HOT devouring monster, thank you very much,” Angel corrected.
“Yeah, well, whoever said that was truly delusional.”
“Oh NO. You can’t take something like that back. Once labeled a ‘hottie’ by Cordelia Chase it’s permanent.”
“Pfft. She that giveth can take awayths.”
Angel snorted. “That’s not right.”
“It is, too. So, watch it, buster, or you’ll be labeled a ‘non-hottie’ just like that.” She snapped her fingers and then sighed.
“What is it?”
Cordelia looked at the side door and then back to Angel. “Can you really hear Darcy? I haven’t heard a peep out of him since we left to get pizza. It’s been hours. AND I am NOT a worry wort.” She stuck her tongue at Angel’s patronizing look.
“Right, because a NON-worry-wort would’ve told me to get pizza while she waited outside the door --- just in case.”
“Yeah, well, it could’ve been necessary. You didn’t have to go all ‘Tarzan’ and drag me away.”
“You would’ve caved after two seconds of his whining. I HAD to drag you away --- for his own good. And I had Miss Twittle to think about it. She scares me.” He faked a shiver.
“Hmmph.” She crossed her arms. The she leaned closer to Angel and threw all pretext of joking aside. “Do you really hear him?”
“Cordy, he’s fine.” Angel moved closer and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I know,” she shrugged. “But, he’s such a little guy. What if something happened to him? I’d never forgive myself.”
“You really do have an amazing heart, don’t you?”
Cordelia squirmed on the stone bench as Angel cupped her chin. She could feel the blush spreading from her toes upward and she nudged Angel’s had away. “Yeah, tell that to the Sunnydale High populace.” She didn’t want to bring up Buffy or the Scoobies again. No matter what Angel said, mention Buffy and he got weird.
“How about I take out a billboard?” Angel said softly as he brushed his thumb along her chin.
Cordelia licked her lips. She couldn’t be sure whether the tingling in her belly was the result of his words or his touch but she did know that he had all the signs of wanting to kiss her.
“Angel?” She cringed as she heard the want in her voice. She shook her head for clarity. “Angel, what do you want from me?”
“You,” he said simply.
Cordelia didn’t have a chance to respond before his lips met hers. She couldn’t stop her tongue from meeting his any more than she could stop her fingers from entangling in the thick hair at the nape of his neck.
“Why?” she whispered.
Angel chuckled, “’ Queen C’ has to ask why?”
She lurched back as if he’d thrown a bucket of cold water on her and stood on shaky legs. It was only after she masked her hurt and anger that she turned towards him.
“Gee, I don’t know Angel.” She made her smile pageant-perfect. “So far, my only appeal to vampires has been as --- well --- food.” She forced her fake smile into one of question. “Is that it? Were you just tenderizing me?”
Pretending to think, she tapped her forefinger against her chin. “But, maybe that’s not it. After all, you’ve ignored my ‘Queen C’ charms for over a year.” She narrowed her eyes, her anger winning over her attempt to be cutting. “Maybe the ‘curse’ has a loop hole and you want some ‘lovin’ that doesn’t have any strings attached. If that’s the case, find a bimbo, hell I’ll give you a couple of names, but leave me alone.”
Angel yanked her down on the stone bench.
“Let me go.”
“Not until we get a couple of things straight,” he said, staring her down.
Cordelia squirmed. “You can’t force ---“
“Don’t kid yourself.”
Cordelia tried to jerk back but his hand didn’t budge.
“All I want is for you to listen. Can you do that?’
Cordelia felt helpless against his strength. She was starting to get scared.
Suddenly his grip changed and he rubbed her back gently.
“Angel?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I was just teasing --- just like when you called me a devouring monster. That’s all.”
She narrowed her eyes. “So, the kissing was teasing? That’s not very funny.” She tried to stand, but he pulled her back down.
“Not the kiss, Cordy,” Angel said softly, “Calling you Queen C. The kiss was only the beginning of what I want.
The intensity of his gaze stopped her movements.
“You’re not ‘Queen C’ to me. You’re YOU, the real you. Who, insists that I share my meals with you.” He gestured down to the empty container by the bench. “You make me laugh.” He brought his hand up and traced his forefinger along her cheek. “You make me believe that being a vampire doesn’t have to be a life full of guilt and regret.” He tipped her chin up. “That’s why I want you.”
Cordelia wanted so badly to get lost in his words, except there was a tickle of common sense that refused to let her fall completely.
“What about the curse?”
She had to know. No matter what feelings Angel’s kisses brought forth she couldn’t – wouldn’t take the chance of unleashing Angelus.
***
Angel continued to hold Cordelia’s chin as the impact of her question hit him. He should’ve known that Cordy would need assurance.
He gentled his touch and dropped his forehead against hers, deciding that the truth was the only option. “I don’t know why, Cordy, but while hell offered me a hundred years of torture, it also gave me a permanent soul. There is no more ‘Angelus’ --- just me.”
Cordelia blinked. “If that was true than you and Buffy ---“ Angel tightened his grip around her jaw and forced her eyes to his. “I told you this was about us. Buffy has nothing to with it.”
Cordelia jerked back but Angel held her close. He knew that he could possibly leave bruises. But he couldn’t stand that Cordelia threw Buffy in his face again. So, he stared down the tears welling in her eyes and tightened his grip.
“What everybody --- meaning you, Buffy, and the so-called Scoobies – seem to forget,” he said as his eyes held Cordy’s “is that I’ve been what I am for almost 250 years. Angst and futility are NOT what I want. I’m sick of being burdened with the past. I want the promise of the future.”
He heard her gasp. “I’m sorry.” Angel released his grip and brushed his fingertips along her face. “I just want you, only you.” He said, tenderly cupping her face towards his.
“Oh,” Cordelia whispered, feeling extremely uneasy.
“Oh --- yes,” Angel repeated his whisper, his fingers leaving a tingling along her cheek. “Only you. Please, Cordy, let me have you,” he murmured against her cheek.
Cordelia whimpered. Her mind was still full of doubts, but her body was already giving in.
Then he kissed her again and she didn’t care anymore.
Part 81
The taste of Angel was beyond anything she could imagine. It was rich with power, strength, and overwhelming sensuality.
She tried to settle closer to his lap only to miss and land on the concrete bench. When Angel yanked her back on his lap, she put up her hand to stop his descending mouth.
“What?”
Cordelia waved towards the stone bench. “Not the most comfortable here.” Her tone was more confident than what she was feeling.
Angel held her eyes for a moment before he gracefully uncoiled his body and pulled her up with him. “Inside.”
The intensity of his low command had her leaning away.
Angel loomed over her. “Don’t run from me, Cordelia.”
Cordelia wished that she had worn her boots that gave her an extra couple of inches over the ones that she was wearing. But, she wouldn’t let his overwhelming presence mess with who she was. She fisted her hands on her hips. “What about what I want?”
His eyes flashed. She stood straighter, refusing to give in to the feeling of being bared naked.
Angel’s mouth curled into a half-smile. “And what is it you want, Cordelia?”
Cordelia tried to think of what she wanted --- other than his arms back around her. “I want the left over pizza in fridge, I want you to make sure Darcy has enough food, give him his medicine and – then I want you to kiss me again.”
Angel pushed her towards the house – only to abandon her in the living room. Almost before she could blink, he was back. “Done.”
“Darcy’s medicine?”
He lifted his hand to show her the eyed dropper. “He’s upstairs.’
“You can tell that?”
Angel pulled her up the stairs to the master bedroom.
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