Title: Cordy the TV Star
Author: anne
Posted: 11-16-2002
Rating: NC17
Email:
Content:
Summary:
Spoilers: Birthday (Cordy’s options were to go with the TV fame or death, (for now I’m forgetting the demon choice- so-there “
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: NF- yes of course, whatever…. the rest- while I’ll always
say yes, please just ask. Wow. I almost felt important.
Notes:
Feedback:
Part 31
“Well,” Lilah leaned up against the doorframe of Lindsay’s office.
“Well, I’m going home for whatever is left of the night. I suggest you do the same. I’ve this really burning sensation deep in my gut that both us will be summoned to Holland’s office bright and early- and not for a celebratory continental breakfast or talk of quarterly bonuses.” Lindsay stuffed some papers in his briefcase.
Lilah nonchalantly studied her well-manicured fingers. “Okay, so this particular little plan didn’t work.” She looked up. “Are you absolutely positive that the reports the surveillance team sent in are correct?” her ever present blasé manner couldn’t quite hide her need to search for hopeful straws.
“They had pictures, Lilah.” Lindsay glared, refusing to give any glimmering of a silver lining to the fiasco that had occurred. “The Groosalugg going in but not coming out, Wyndham-Price leaving with that side-kick of his. Angel staying after making a spectacular, violent, ‘non-crazy’ -may I add for the zillionth time ‘NOT CRAZY’-entrance, and one suggestively x-rated picture of the woman on everyone’s mind with the big old smile giving her ‘spoils’ to the victor. So unless, our starring actress and vampire were planning to engage in a ménage a trios with the loser, I’d say the reports are valid. Just like the reports from the mystics that said that a ‘big’ portal opened and closed. My guess, Angel isn’t sharing and the Groosalugg is home sweet home Plyea.”
Lilah pushed herself up from the polished wooden frame of the doorway, settling back into her patented self-assured mode. “You don’t think hooking up with a blank toast like ‘Miss Emmy Winning Smile’ isn’t crazy?” Lilah’s façade wilted a bit at Lindsay’s hardened glare.
“Fine, like I said it didn’t work. We still have the mud campaign,” rolling her eyes in concentrated effort to deny the problems of their situation.
Lindsay slammed shut his briefcase. “And as you so correctly pointed out, that wasn’t working either.”
“Did you just say I was right,” Lilah stepped into the office. “That deserves a drink.” Lilah’s attempt at denial slipped quickly into the ‘how to fix it mode’. She wanted to stay alive and would, but unfortunately this current situation wasn’t, as proven, one that she could do alone, she needed Lindsay and she needed him to see the same.
“I don’t want to drink with you. Why would I want to do that?”
“Lindsay, a drink, or several, is just what the doctor ordered, we can drown our complaints, arrows and barbs and think of a new plan. I, for one, do not want to show up in Holland’s office tomorrow without a plan ‘C’. How about you?”
Lindsay grunted, reluctantly acknowledging Lilah’s proposition. “Fine, but you’re buying.”
“You make more, you’re buying.” Lilah shot over her shoulder. “Blame it on the glass ceiling.” Lilah strode out of the office feeling a touch more secure about the whole situation.
***
Angel huddled in the worn leather armchair haphazardly placed in the main room of his and Wesley’s apartment. He shouldn’t have left Cordelia. She wasn’t going to understand. Angel should’ve done the right thing and explain that…somehow…they were getting to close.
That Angel and Cordelia being together was becoming dangerous. Cordelia would understand that…she had been in Sunnydale for Angelus’ appearance. Angel couldn’t believe that she would allow that risk to exist again. It was just…Angel laid his head back against the leather. He couldn’t stay and not have her presence surround him, near him. Small tears squeezed out from the corners of his eyes, remembering- feeling, had it only been two times that he had slept the night with her. With her body covering his, relaxed and limp in satisfied exhaustion. He wanted it back. How could he even begin to love her, she was Cordelia Chase, the spoiled teenager from Sunnydale. Angel’s head fell to his hands.
She was the woman that forced him to accept spices in his blood and bought curtains to make him safe. She cared about him and watched out for him. He didn’t understand how…but it was true and that was why he had to leave. Angel had to remember who he was, what he was, what he was capable of being, he couldn’t afford to forget, no matter how much he wanted too.
Part 32
Cordelia stirred, suddenly missing the suffocating hard body that held her so tightly during the night.
Cordelia scrunched up her brow looking around the bedroom. Angel wasn’t there. She looked on the floor, neither were his pants, her gaze searched some more, the only clothes scattered about were hers. Maybe, Angel was cooking her breakfast. She grumbled. Why’d he take his shirt? She always got to wear his shirt in the mornings.
Cordelia blinked. ‘Always…?’ She thought that like ‘always’ was a normal occurrence. It had only been two times, but it felt normal – like it should be ‘always’, she whined, reassuring herself.
Cordelia jumped from the bed, running to her now abandoned bedroom to get a robe, wondering what wonderful food the vampire was preparing for her. The ‘Wow’ of a vampire cooking for her was slightly eclipsing the ‘why’ cry that she had when then so-called gourmet vampire wasn’t visible or took away his shirt. Cordelia scrunched her face. Was she happy or mad? Cordelia flipped back a heavy strand of hair, she’d know once she was downstairs.
Cordelia hesitated on the bottom step. She didn’t smell any aroma to cause her to be happy. Actually, every thing seemed way too quiet and empty. Maybe Angel was still preparing her breakfast, really silently. Vampires could be quiet like that.
She glanced at the sunlight streaming in through the broken windows. How’d he get to the kitchen? A dread of something unpleasant and biting trickled into Cordelia’s spine. She ran to the front door, swinging it wide. Seeing nothing, she ran through the kitchen, going into the attached garage. Angel’s car wasn’t around. He was gone. Angel left her. When did he do that? Why would he do that?
She moved slowly back into the living room, her mind full of fleeting thoughts, questions and made up explanations. The easy acceptable explanations wanting to have the strongest voice- Angel had a vision, didn’t want to wake her and left. Then that evil voice, the contrary one, the realistic one spoke up, -except, from what everyone, even Angel, indicated he wouldn’t have been able to have a vision without waking her, much less quietly getting dressed and leaving. Maybe, he was mad at her, after all, he did know she let the Groo-guy kiss her. That annoying other voice spoke again- but he didn’t seem mad when he made love to her throughout the night and even so- there had been no exclusive icky talk that made kissing someone else a bad thing. Cordelia tried one last time; maybe, there was no more blood and Angel was starving. Cordelia ran back into the kitchen, not letting that contrary voice speak. She stared into the refrigerator, the voice didn’t have to speak, it was there in plain view- one icky blood filled plastic cup. Angel didn’t leave because he was hungry.
Why did Angel leave? She went to the sofa and slumped. Everything had been wonderful, they had been making love- all good and then she…Cordelia’s thoughts froze. She didn’t….she couldn’t have…there was no way she said that out loud. No way. Cordelia’s panicky look around the empty room screamed back ‘yes, you stupid little girl, you did’. Oh god, she did. Cordelia said out loud that she loved the vampire.
Cordelia buried her head in her hands. No wonder he left. Probably ran out. He was probably thinking that she wanted or expected some sort of similar declaration in return or something.
Cordelia smacked her forehead. This was stupid, how could she have said that she loved a vampire. She didn’t love Angel. She barely knew him. Sure, it felt like Cordelia knew Angel forever and she did know him in Sunnydale, but she didn’t ‘really’ know him. And…and Angel was a VAMPIRE, bloodsucking, dead, an undead person…and…and…people were always saying crazy stuff like ‘I love you’ during the heat of passion. Doesn’t mean anything. Of course, Cordelia hadn’t actually ever moaned that particular admission before. But, she hadn’t been in such a ‘heat of passion’ before, so it could’ve just been the time for her to make a fool out of herself and well, Angel was really cute for a dead guy, in the oh my god, panting and hyperventilating sorta of way.
Geez, sure, Angel was an amazing lover, made her feel things that she never knew were possible and granted, her experience was limited, but it had been ‘oh wow’. That’s it. She had been so overwhelmed by the immense pleasure of it all, she blurted out some nonsense statement.
Cordelia narrowed her eyes, getting more than a little irritated now that she figured it all out. Stupid vampire, after two hundred and some years he should’ve known that people say the damnest things under the influence of sex. There was no reason for him to go running. It’s not like she said it and waited or nagged him to respond, hell, she fell asleep. That should’ve clued Angel in on how non-important the statement was. Cordelia knew he didn’t love her. Duh, no Angelus. Hmmph. That vampire couldn’t have run far and when she caught up with him- she was going to give a big piece of her mind.
The phone’s constant ringing interrupted her thoughts. Angel. Cordelia ran to catch the phone before the voice mail picked up. Angel realized what a dork he was and was calling to apologize. Well, she didn’t know if she would accept it right away. He was a jerk and he left her with a big gapping hole in her living room. A wild creature normal or abnormal could’ve wandered in a devoured her in her sleep. That vampire left her to die. Oooh, he was SO SUCH dead vampire meat.
“You jerk,” she yelled into the receiver.
A tense silence welcomed her greeting, and then a small weak voice spoke. “What’d I do,” Nevin cringed, thinking back, his mind working quickly flipping like a Rolodex. He was pretty positive he had done everything required over the last couple of days and did it quite well.
“Nev,” Cordelia croaked, trying to catch the phone as her hands dropped the instrument.
“Cordy, …”
“Sorry, thought you were someone else. What do you want?” She slammed her body on the sofa.
Nevin took a deep breath at his boss’ snappy tone. “Have you looked at a clock lately?”
“Why?” her eyes straying to the expensive retro version of a grandfather clock settled against the living room wall. “Shit.” She yelled as she remembered that she was due on the set before dawn. The director wanted to keep the darkness for some outside shots that had turned out unusable from a couple of nights ago.
“Yes. Don’t worry; I calmed Paddy, telling him you were still reeling from the ‘stalker’ episode yesterday. He with his usual cursing and gruffness accepted it. But, he wants you here now to do the follow up party scene.”
“Right.” She hung her head, clutching the phone to her face. She forgot about her work. Damn that vampire. She was getting really mad now.
“Cordy, is everything all right. What happened with the note? Did Angel Investigations find anything more out?”
Cordelia blew out a breath, falling back on the sofa. “Yeah, solved it. Stalker-guy gone- not a problem anymore.”
“Really, that’s wonderful. Was he arrested? Is that why you over slept? Look, Cordy, I’m sure I can ward off Paddy today if you need to rest. Thank god its over. Don’t worry about anything else, when Angel Investigations puts in their bill, I’ll make sure they get a bonus, that’s okay right? For fixing everything so quickly.”
Cordelia rubbed the palm of her hand roughly into her forehead, trying to think how to respond. “Bad guy, not such a bad guy, sent him on his way, definitely not dangerous, just enthusiastic. Send a car, I’ll be there. As for Angel Investigations- they’re idiots, major idiots, Angel being the worse- what I want you to do- is find out what the highest paid PI in Hollywood gets per hour and times it by three and pay from the moment you made the first phone call until…” Cordelia paused. “How long will it take for you to get a repairman to my house and replace every plane glass window in my living room.”
Nevin paused. This was not at all the conversation he expected. But he was an assistant to a major star and he got there because he could adapt quickly. “Is that hypothetical or do you really need a repairman?”
“Need.”
“What happened? Nevermind.” Nevin said remembering the ‘Assistant to the Major Star Credo’ don’t ask just do, unless your charge could possibly end up embarrassingly dead. Nevin cleared his throat. “ I can get someone immediately but have no idea how long it will take.”
“Okay, well, stop the fee calculation for Angel Investigations when the repairman say the windows are fixed.”
“Cordy…that could be a lot.”
“I hope so. Also, that guy, you know the obnoxious one, the one that wanted me to invest in rentals.”
“Cordy, how many times can I apologize, I didn’t realize, he was a friend of my cousin.” Nevin couldn’t believe she was bringing that up again. He had been new. He didn’t know, but he never made that mistake again and he’d stop giving premier tickets to his cousin. Nevin paid for that mess and made sure his cousin did too.
“Nev, shut up. Find out if he has any office space- enough for three offices, reception area and couple of storage rooms. If he does and you like it, buy it.”
“Cordy?”
“Do it.”
Nev nodded frantically in the phone as he scribbled into his palm pilot. He squeaked an okay, when he realized that Cordelia was still waiting for a verbal acknowledgment.
“Send the car, I’ll be ready. Oh, Nev, one more thing.”
“Yes.” Wow. Cordelia Chase had been occasionally demanding in the last couple of years that he had been employed but this was getting close to bizarrely eccentric.
“That 4-wheel monstrosity that I’ve never even used….get the paperwork together to transfer title to Charles Gunn.”
“Cordy…” Nev shook his head. His was not to question why- his was to do or be unemployed. “Okay, done.”
Cordelia nodded as she hung up the phone. Stupid vampire aside, she wasn’t about to forget what she owed Angel Investigations. Anyway, they were her friends. Angel just needed to be reminded of that, harshly, with a slap to his head.
Geez, it wasn’t that Cordelia wouldn’t accept her part of the blame in this, but hers was minimal. She just blurted out a whimsical passion induced sentiment that meant nothing except- what you’re doing to me is wow-wonderful. Angel should’ve known that, he was like really old and surely like really experienced- with those hand moves, he had to be-Pfft and Hmmph. It’s his fault for first making her so not thinking and saying stupid stuff- and second for just making her mad that she had to worry about it.
Part 33
Wesley scratched his bare chest and wandered through the dark room into the kitchen. Yawning, he filled the coffee pot. He leaned on the counter imagining that if he stared at it hard enough the energy giving caffeine would flow freer.
Wesley rested his chin on his palm and rubbed his eyes. He really needed that coffee shot in the arm, he had gotten very little sleep the night before.
He had been quite pleased with the successful conclusion of Cordy’s stalker situation; yet, an unnamed anxiousness kept him tossing and turning all night. Somewhere around 3 a.m., he finally determined what was causing his restlessness. It was worry and unease. Wolfram & Hart’s aid to the Groosalugg indicated a more serious threat to Cordelia than the situation seemed to indicate at first glance. Periodically, over the last few years, Angel’s visions had brought the true evil nature of Wolfram & Hart to light. The past brief glimpses of the law firm’s machinations forced Wesley to conclude that if the firm wanted to harm Cordelia then Groosalugg’s failure wouldn’t stop them from trying something else to get at her- but why?
Wesley was concerned about Cordelia’s safety, spurn on by feelings of friendship inspired during their brief re-acquaintance. Which was surprising in that their previous relationship had consisted of inane flirting and a humiliating kiss rather than any type of genuine friendship. Yet, the more mature and beautiful young woman was approachable and generous, which was somewhat astonishing. Wesley would’ve expected the TV star Cordelia to be even more self-absorbed than her teenage years hinted at. But, no, the current Cordelia was endearing.
Wesley grunted, casting a bleary eye at the coffee maker. Too damn slow. Wesley stretched, grunted again and settled back to his persistent watching and thinking. Actually, as much as the possibility of danger to Cordelia concerned him, Wesley was more concerned about Angel right now. The vampire hadn’t had a vision since the one that sent Wesley and Gunn to Reseda to fight a three-mouthed razor toothed demon. It wasn’t that Wesley wanted Angel to have another vision, but Wesley was beginning to feel that the lack of one since Cordelia came into their lives had affected Angel’s remembrance of how debilitating they could be. It could very well be unsafe for Angel to spend that much time alone with the young woman. On the other hand, Wesley didn’t have the heart to argue with the vampire, make him see the reasoning behind staying in the apartment near the tranquilizing guns, shackles, barred windows and locked doors. Protecting Cordy gave Angel a sense of purpose. Wesley couldn’t take that a way from him. He could hope only for the best.
Wesley rolled his eyes at the caffeine-producing appliance. One day they would be able to afford one that actually worked efficiently. Obviously, the old coffee maker could care less that Wesley was in dire need of caffeine and ignorant to the forceful brain waves directed at it to aid and quicken it’s supposed purpose. Wesley grunted and pushed himself off the counter. He might as well read the newspaper now that his eyes could fully open, who knew, maybe paying no heed to the incompetent piece of machinery would compel into in action.
"Wesley"
Wesley jumped. His destination to retrieve the morning newspaper was halted by the sound of the low acknowledgement. He swirled around searching for the words' owner, settling once his gaze fell on the vampire. Wesley was a bit surprised that he even saw Angel. The vampire had almost completely blended into the dark leather chair. However, Wesley was more surprised that the vampire was there at all.
"Angel? Why aren't you at Cordelia's?" Wesley's mind quickly shifted through the possibilities. A vision? Wesley considered the motionless vampire, unless the visions were turning Angel into stone that would be a no. Cordelia couldn't be in danger again; otherwise the vampire would definitely not just be sitting in their apartment. Did she kick him out? That had possibilities. But why?
"Did you and Cordelia have an argument?” Wesley had to peer closely to see the minute shake of Angel's head.
"Then...I thought you wanted to make sure she was safe...because of the windows being broken?"
Angel jerked his head. Damn. He had been in such a panic to leave that he had forgotten that the shattered windows left Cordelia vulnerable. What if something happened?
"Call her make sure she's okay." Angel shoved himself up from the chair.
"Call her? Angel, why did you leave?"
"Just call her, Wesley. Please." Angel added going into the kitchen.
Something was definitely not right. Maybe Cordelia would inform him, as Angel didn't seem to be in a very talkative mood. Shocker, that. Wesley shook his head and dialed Cordelia's number.
Wesley hung up when he got Cordelia's voice mail. He dialed again, hoping that Cordelia wouldn't be angry for waking her up. He hung up again. Okay, maybe she wasn't home. It was early, but possibly she was already at the studio. Wesley searched his memory for Nevin's cell phone number. He wanted to cover all bases before he started to worry.
Wesley placed the phone in its cradle, pondering his brief conversation with Cordelia's assistant or more accurately Cordelia's loud comments directed towards Angel, which drowned out most of Nevin's answers. Well, Wesley still didn't know why Angel left Cordelia alone, but Cordelia was fine and for some reason very angry with the vampire.
Wesley went into the kitchen determined to get some answers. "Cordelia is on the way to an early shoot. She wouldn't actually talk to me, but she did yell that you were I quote 'a stupid dork' and I believe she also said 'for a really old guy you were a big baby' and that 'if you thought you could get away with what you pulled, then you were not only a stupid dork, but an idiot dumbass.' Oh, and she's starving, though why she's blaming you for that I'm not sure. But then again, I don't know what stunt you pulled. Care to enlighten me? You said you two didn't argue."
"We didn't." Angel turned away from Wesley's questioning stare, putting his empty mug in the sink.
"Well, you will be I imagine when you see her again.”
"I'm not seeing her again." Angel looked at his feet, shoving his fist in his pockets.
"Oh? I don't think Cordelia is aware of that, in fact, I believe she's planning to see you again, to give you a much deserved ‘ass-chewing' she said."
"I can't." Angel shook his head, still studying his shoes.
"Angel, what did you do?"
"I left."
"And that made Cordelia go ballistic? Angel, that doesn’t' make any sense."
"I didn't tell her. She was asleep."
"So you didn't wake her. You’re not helping in the explanation department.”
Angel took a deep breath and looked Wesley straight in the eyes. Angel had been wrong when he thought that he didn't have a friendship with the former watcher. Angel realized that while he didn't share the same relationship with Wesley as he had with Doyle- a friendship did exist. One that must have been cultivated and maintained by Wesley because Angel knew he hadn't had the ability to do anything to support it.
"Why are you here?" Angel suddenly needed to know.
"I live here." Good lord, Cordelia maybe right, Angel was showing signs of being a dumbass.
"No," Angel shook his head. "Why do you take care of me? Why do you make sure that my visions get taken care of? Why do you make sure Angel Investigations exists?"
Wesley stepped back surprised by the questions. "I...Angel, you are my friend and you can't handle the visions and fighting the evil in them. You need help and the evil needs to defeated."
"Your friend?"
Wesley studied the vampire. "Yes,”
“Why?”
Wesley looked, determining the vampire was serious. Wesley tried to answer. “You are good and I’m a sort of a rogue demon hunter or was, you’re visions direct me to a lot of demons.” Wesley hoped that his poor attempt of humor would change the dire expression on Angel’s face. He blinked as Angel cringed, crying out and grabbing his head. Oh god. The signs of what Wesley was seeing overtook his wonder at Angel’s questions. Angel was having a vision.
Wesley went to the moaning and flaying vampire, only to be knocked across the room by Angel’s blindly thrown fist.
Wesley stumbled up, going again to the vampire. He tried to pull Angel away from the wall that Angel was banging his head against. “Angel, the vision? Tell me, I’ll go and it will be better.” He yelled over the vampire’s loud cries and jumbled words.
Angel huddled closer to the wall banging his head more forcibly against the wall, low tumbled words escaped from his gasping breaths.
Wesley caught and understood ‘Glendale’ and ‘demon’ but he rest he was unsure of. He had to calm the vampire down, if he was to understand any of the rambling.
Wesley dropped to the floor, practically in the same position that Angel originally knocked him too. His hands searched quickly under the end table. Wesley leaned up once he grasped what he was looking for. He aimed and shot.
Wesley ignored the sour burble that swirled in his stomach as he watched the vampire struggle against the effects of the drug. Wesley took a deep breath and waited as Angel fell powerless against the wall.
“Angel, the vision.” Wesley asked, standing finally.
Slow tortured words struggled from the vampire’s throat. “ Young man…park…Glendale…pond…demon…four…five horns…red…deadly…pain…AHHH.” Angel choked slamming his head against the wall.
Wesley felt his stomach knot in the too familiar way as he shot the vampire again. This time Angel whimpered once then stopped as the additional drug took effect. Wesley threw the weapon far against the wall, hating what he was forced to do, while knowing it was right.
Wesley dragged the limp form of the vampire into his room, pulling Angel’s arms up, securing his wrist in the shackles. With one last look, Wesley locked the door and went to call Gunn.
Part 34
Cordelia rolled her eyes again at Paddy. If that stupid director wasn't careful she would go completely insane on him. God, this was stupid, it was make believe and she had real world stuff to do. Mainly, yell at Angel.
Cordelia moved off her mark as her cell phone rang again, waving away the director’s yell.
Cordelia listened and asked only one question of Nevin. When he answered in the affirmative she said ‘buy it’ and slammed the phone closed.
“ARE YOU DONE NOW?”
Cordelia gave an icy look at the red-faced pulse-pumping director. “You’ll get your shot, so don’t worry, you yell at me one more time and I’ll rip a new orifice in your body, one that won’t ever give you pleasure.”
Cordelia ignored the surprised tense silence that descended the sound stage at her outburst, “so, are you going to shoot a scene or what?” she yelled at the lacked-jaw veteran director of TV and films.
“I….” He bolstered.
“I…I…my butt, I’m the star of this show…and you know what, I just don’t feel like being here right now…so screw your I…I….I..’s.” Cordelia stormed out of the room.
***
Cordelia flung herself up against the wall of the hallway. What was going on with her? First she makes some asinine stupid statement of love for …what…Buffy’s boyfriend….okay, so that wasn’t really true anymore but it just sounded easier to dish…. Cordelia couldn’t understand it. She hadn’t felt this mad since….ever…not about a relationship…okay, Xander and Willow lip locking and stomach spearing caused a lot of pain - literally and figuratively- but this…She couldn’t concentrate. She had been a first class bitch out there on the sound stage. It was the vampire’s fault he was just being stupid….and she wanted him to know how stupid he was being…no way would he blame any of this on her. So, she blurted out an inappropriate saying….he should’ve known better. And they were friends, weren’t they? Angel should've of considered that for he ran away like….a MAN.
Cordelia kicked the wall. She had gone from insecurity to complete anger in a matter of a few hours. She wouldn’t be okay, until she spoke her mind with the vampire. Cordelia knew where he lived. She narrowed her eyes and swung her shoulders back in a makeshift confident manner.
“Miss Chase…Mr. Paddy wants….”
She swung around to the innocent stagehand. “Tough shit. And quote me.”
***
Cordelia banged on the door of the apartment. "I can hear you- let me in, right now, you dumb ass."
Wesley swung open the door.
Cordelia jumped back startled, more by the large sword in Wesley's hand than the yanked opened door.
"Cordelia, this is not a good time."
Cordelia narrowed her eyes. "I want to talk to Angel."
"I gathered. But, this is not a good time. We've got to go out."
Cordelia peered around Wesley's body, finally noticing an axe-wielding Gunn. She glanced back to Wesley. "What's going on? Where's Angel?"
Wesley took a deep breath. "In his room, he's had a vision. Now, we have to go. Come back later."
"He doesn't go with you?"
"Cordelia, he's had a vision. He can't."
"Cuz, he's crazy." Cordelia questioned. Everyone told her but she was still having a hard time believing it. Angel wasn't crazy just a jerk.
Wesley rolled his eyes. "I explained the visions make him..."
"Crazy," waving away the rest of the words. "I want to see him."
"Cordelia, he's not in any condition to be yelled at or called a dumb ass."
"I wasn't...I want to see him." Cordelia insisted. She wasn't sure why, but it was really important for her to see Angel and not to yell at him.
"Cordelia, we have to go. There is a victim that needs to be saved and that's the only way Angel will get any relief from the vision's effects."
"Then go, I'll stay with Angel. Which is his room?" She glanced around the small room, opening the first door she saw. She slammed the closet closed. "Well." she ordered.
"Cordelia, you don't want to see him right now, he wouldn't even be able to recognize you. It's not safe. So, please go, I'll call you later, you can see him then."
Cordelia stopped listening and went down the hall, trying more doors. She stopped when she got to a locked room. "You've locked him in?"
"Cordelia," Wesley said in exasperation.
"Wesley, the quicker you unlock the door, the quicker you can go save the victim." Cordelia's head shot back to the closed room. She flinched as she heard moaning and banging. "Let me in, NOW."
"Do it, man. Arguing with her is taking too long." Gunn shrugged.
"Charles."
"He's chained." Gunn reasoned.
"Chained? Let me in, I mean it Wesley." Cordelia really had to get in that room.
"Fine, but don't go near him." Wesley shook his head as he brought out the key.
Cordelia shoved past Wesley as soon as the door was opened. She stopped and just stared. She wanted to scream and then cry...and then kill whoever or whatever was responsible for crippling the strong vampire. Angel's body was slumped on the floor, only being held upright by the iron shackles attached by long chains to the ceiling. It was sickening and it broke her heart. "Get him down from there." Cordelia whispered through clenched teeth, her voice choked with tears and anger.
"Cordelia that would not be wise."
"Do it. He's barely conscious." She glared accusingly adding Wesley to her list of responsible parties to kill.
"Cordelia, it has to be this way- the drugs’ tranquilizing effects are only temporary. If he's not chained when it wears off he could hurt himself."
"I'll stay with him. Now, unchain him, please." Cordelia's anger was replaced with the need to help Angel. She could do it, her gut screamed.
"Cordelia, he could strike out at you. He's not cognizant of who you are right now or his own strength. He could hurt you."
"Wesley," Cordelia pleaded again, her eyes never leaving the vampire. She moved closer.
"Cordelia, don't" Wesley reached out to stop the young woman.
"Victim to save, man. Just do it. We got to go. Leave her a gun."
Wesley shook his head at the black man, seriously doubting the wisdom of Gunn's suggestion.
"Please."
Wesley closed his eyes at Cordelia's teary expression and made what he hoped was the right decision.
Angel's body fell forward as his arms were released. Groaning, the vampire huddled up and slowly blinked.
"Angel." Cordelia whispered, relieved at the sign of consciousness.
The vampire jerked to the soft voice, his eyes widening as they tried to focus on the young woman. He started babbling, mumbling demon and park over and over again.
Cordelia bent down, reaching out her hand. "Angel."
Again, his head jerked, but this time he frantically scooted across the room away from the soft voice. He crunched, beginning to bang his head against the wall. "Hurt, go away." tumbled from his lips.
Cordelia stood, tears falling freely. So many things over the last few days had inexplicably felt right or wrong. The sight of the broken terrified vampire was one of the most very wrong feelings she had experienced. It was SO NOT right. Cordelia felt it down to her very bones.
"Angel, it's me, Cordy." She stepped closer to the huddled vampire, ignoring Wesley's call of warning. "Angel...it will be alright, I promise...I promise," kneeling down next to the trembling and mumbling vampire. His actions stilled as Cordelia cupped his face gently. "I promise. It will be alright," gently leaning in to kiss the vampire. Her tears mingling with her breath and the sudden glow the enhanced the touching lips. The room froze.
"Cordelia."
The young woman stood up, her eyes traveling from the still vampire to the deep voice of the demon that called to her. "I remember, I remember everything."
The large metallic demon shook his head. "The visions will kill you."
"Angel can't have them, look what they do to him."
"Shouldn't have been your concern. We had a deal."
"It was a bad deal, Skip."
"Death is a worse deal, Cordelia, and you will die. I showed you what would happen if you kept the visions. Do I have to remind you that right now you are lying in a coma, dying? You made your choice."
Cordelia shook her head, brushing away her tears. "You didn't tell me that Angel would be like this. He needs me. He can't be a champion this way. The Powers were able to re-write history. They have to be able to do something else. Angel can't have the visions."
Skip studied the young woman. "This is not the way it was supposed to happen."
"Yes, it is. The other life was false. I could feel it. Something was missing. It felt wrong. It was the visions- they're mine. Doyle did give them to me not Angel. The only thing right in that life was that I wanted to be with Angel...that...I...that I wanted to be with him."
"You having the visions is wrong, Cordelia. Doyle giving them to you was a mistake, I told you that. It was his feeling for you that screwed it up. Just like it is your feelings for Angel that are messing things up now. Get over it and live."
"I can't- so, find a loophole." Cordelia's determined gaze remained fixed on the big demon.
Skip glared back hoping to intimidate the young woman into faltering. With grunt, Skip sighed, giving up the losing battle. "There maybe a way."
"Listening."
"You can become part demon."
Cordelia scrunched up her face. "I'll get to keep the visions? They won't kill me."
"They won't kill, but Cordelia it won't a walk in the park. The side effects are unknown. It will excruciating- make the visions seem to be day at the beach. And there are other problems, as well."
"But, I'll get them, Angel won't."
"Yes." Skip shook his head at Cordelia's obvious priority.
"Then demonize me, already."
"Fine, and while I'm at I better fix that other problem before it blows up in everyone's faces."
"What blows up?"
"Angelus. I'm going to have to anchor the vampire's soul, if you continue to insist on having feelings for the demon. Ready?" He held out.
"You’re what..." Cordelia's words were cut off as a piercing pain shot through her body with enough force to tear her apart. She screamed.
Part 35
Angel perched on the end of the chair, his hand gently covering Cordelia's motionless one. Wake up, please, wake up, was his continuing silent refrain. She couldn't do this to him. Cordelia couldn't die. He needed her too much.
Angel bolted out of his chair, going to the bed as loud agonizing scream erupted from the unconscious young woman. "Cordy," he choked out amazed at the sitting up woman.
"Angel?"
"Cordy," he repeated hugging the woman tightly. She was awake.
"Angel,..." Cordelia managed. The vampire was squeezing her to death. Cordelia gave a gentle push. Angel probably wouldn't be so happy if he killed her.
Wesley, Gunn and Fred ran in at the sound of commotion. They all froze, feeling a combination of surprise and relief at the sight of the hugging couple on the bed.
"Cordy?" Angel asked releasing her slightly.
"I'm fine, never felt better. I..." she scrunched up her face, jerking her head around searching her backside as well as brushing her hands over her face and hair.
She shot Angel a bright smile. "No tail or horns." She moved to get off the bed.
Angel followed her movement, watching the young woman stretch with the supple grace of a feline. "Cordy?" Angel frowned, soon he better be able to form more words if he was ever going to get an explanation out of the young woman. But right then, all he wanted to do was look. Actually, he corrected he wanted to hold her again. He almost lost her. Angel got up to go to her.
Cordelia turned as she sensed the vampire approach. Cordelia could see all the questions running through his mind...and his happiness. She bit her lip at his smile. Wow. This Angel sure did that well. The other, well...he had been getting better, but boy could he kiss. Cordelia frowned at that memory. She was going to miss that...but here, Angel was just Angel, her best friend, not her lover. Damn.
"Cordy?" Angel paused at the young woman's frown. "What's wrong?" he said worriedly.
Cordelia shook the thoughts of the other Angel out of her head. This was the life she wanted. Angel was safe. "Nothing's wrong, things are great. I know, I know you have questions and Boy do I have some answers, I...." her gaze turned inward. "But first vision...Glendale, young man by a pond, red demon with four, no five horns. We better hurry," she shrugged.
"Um, Cordy?" Angel asked tentatively.
"What?" she looked down to where everyone was staring. "Well, this cool." She was floating. "Gee, just got some more questions didn't you'll. I'll try to answer this too, not sure exactly how, but I’ll try, after the victim is saved- deal? And stop gapping you’ll act like you've never seen anyone float before."
Fred raised her hand. "I haven't and you were dying." The stunned group all nodded with her statement.
"Yeah, well. I'm not anymore. Let's go save that guy." Cordelia responded once her feet were firmly back on the floor.
***
"Cordy's part demon." Yep. It sounded the same as when Fred said it the first half dozen times after they got back from saving the young man in Cordelia’s floating painless vision. Crazy.
"It seems so." Wesley looked up to the stairs. He had so many more questions, but Angel practically bit his head off when he brought out his list. But, Cordelia didn't seem tired. In fact she looked and sounded pretty damn healthy. Wesley didn’t see why she couldn’t answer.
"Damn, nothing's normal around here." Gunn plopped down on the sofa.
Fred nodded, then pushed at her glasses. "I've got to say I'm glad."
"She won't die now." Wesley agreed.
"Of course, I'm happy about that...but you heard her, in that other life, I was still in Plyea. You'll just left me there." She scowled at Wesley and Gunn. "I was a victim of Angel's vision and you just left me there. What kind of friends are you?"
"That won't us," Gunn defended. "And you're here, no reason to get mad."
"Hmmph." Fred fell back in her chair, still unsure about the whole thing.
Part 36
"Angel, for the last time. I'm fine. I've never felt better. This is good."
Angel pushed Cordelia back on the bed. "Cordy, you're part demon. How's that good?"
"Head won't explode, duh." She scooted up the headboard, glaring as she crossed her arms.
"Of course, that's good. But, you said that the side effects are unknown, that's not good."
"But it doesn't necessarily mean bad, Angel." Cordelia reasoned, pulling her knees to her chest. "The floating thing is pretty neat and I didn't turn green or grow horns, which would been...not so great. But, I get to keep the visions and stay alive. That's really good."
"You gave up your dream for me." Angel shook his head. "You shouldn't have done that."
"Uh, Angel, reality check," she waved her hand in front of his face. "I explained- you didn't do the visions very well. You couldn't keep them. And what dream? I distinctly remembering getting tired of being a TV star."
Angel sat back in his chair, the doubt apparent on his face.
"Really, Angel." She rolled her eyes at the vampire.
Angel slowly nodded, accepting her statement for the moment. "You still haven't explained everything though. What are you leaving out?"
"I told you everything- told you about Skip telling me that human's weren't meant to be seers, that the Powers offered to re-write history so I wouldn’t get the visions from Doyle."
"Yes, and you explained that you were a TV Star, Angel Investigation existed, without Fred, but existed. Explained that I got the visions from Doyle and that you took them back. How?"
"How- What?"
"How did you take the visions back?"
"Geez, Angel what does it matter?"
"Doyle kissed you before he died.. So...was I dying and I kissed you? Or…Hey does that mean Doyle kissed ME before he died. That would be really kind of ….odd."
“Not in California.”
“Uh?”
“Duh, Geez, I don’t know how Doyle gave you the visions- but Skip told me that Doyle was able to pass on the visions because of his ‘feeling’ for me….so maybe you and he, you know were more than…”
“Doubtful, Cordelia.” Angel gave her a hard look.
“I don’t know, Angel. I do remember some longing glances across the office.”
“Cordelia, the only glances then were Doyle trying to look down your shirt.”
“Angel,” smacking him.
“It’s true.”
“Pfft, never you though, uh.” She leaned back.
“Of course not.” Angel coated his lie with the proper offended expression and tone. Though, actually it wasn’t really a lie that particular habit hadn’t become full blown until more recently. Angel felt a little less guilty. He sort of told the truth.
“Yeah, I could’ve walked around stark naked and you wouldn’t have blinked.” Cordelia hid her pout. She didn’t understand why this Angel was so oblivious to her and the other one definitely noticed her physical attributes.
Angel just decided to ignore that statement as he valiantly tried to ignore the images it created.
“Any way, I did tell you everything.” Cordelia shrugged, hoping that would end Angel’s questions. The less thinking of the alternative universe would minimize the thinking of all the different ways the alternate Angel touched her various physical attributes….and that was really for the best. She couldn’t be screwing up and jumping her best friend.
Angel shook his head. She hadn’t told him everything. Cordelia had gone on and on describing her alternate house, Wesley’s one arm, Gunn being pretty much the same, the lack of Fred, Lindsay and Lilah being evil, but, him…she barely said anything about Angel. Well, except that he had to be chained up when he had a vision. Why didn’t she go on and on about him. Had Angel really been that bad? Though, he guessed he had been- having to be chained wasn’t good. But, Cordelia did say Angel helped Wesley and Gunn protect her. So, he couldn’t have been crazy all the time.
It was just that Angel knew how he had been when he first got to LA- that and Doyle’s death without Cordelia in his life to give him hope, plus the craziness of the visions- he couldn’t imagine him being anyway other than extremely anti-social, rude and quietly obnoxious in a very broody suicidal way. What if he said or did something to hurt Cordelia. Had he? Was that why she wasn’t describing his alternate self more? Angel had to know. He knew it wasn’t him, but it in a weird way he also knew it was. Cordelia’s description of alternate Wesley, Gunn, Lilah, Lindsay, even herself were different than their true selves but only in experiences, the substance of the individuals had been the same. So, where did that leave him?
Damn’t. Cordelia rolled her eyes. Angel was going into full brood mode. It couldn’t be over her teasing him about having a relationship with Doyle. What was the dork’s problem?
“Angel, what do you want to know?” She said resignedly.
Angel’s attention snapped back to the young woman. “I…I didn’t say or do anything to hurt you did I?”
“Angel, you…you were out of it, when you had the vision. Wesley said that you might strike out not knowing who I was, but you had been drugged…and talking- you didn’t make much sense. So, no, of course not.”
Angel winced at the thought of him being so helpless and out touch with reality. “I don’t mean, when I had the vision…before. You said I was able to help Wesley and Gunn. So, I couldn’t have been out of it all the time. Then…did I say or do anything to hurt you or upset you.”
“Angel, it wasn’t you. So don’t worry about it, and you sure and hell-don’t have anything to feel guilty about. There’s nothing to feel guilty about.”
“I did do something, didn’t I?”
“Damn’t. NO. Okay. Well…there was this morning but you were just being a jerk, but before that you were wonderful. You stayed with me too make sure I was safe, you were a great date for the premier, made me breakfast….well, except for this morning but I like I said you were a jerk….”
“What did I do this morning?” Angel liked hearing that he had been the one that stayed with her. And if he cooked her breakfast and went with her too a premier he couldn’t have been that bad. But that was the second time she said he had been a jerk.
“It’s nothing. I wasn’t hurt. Just mad. Go figure, you made be mad.” Cordelia waved the subject away. She really didn’t want to get into why she had been mad.
“Cordy.” Angel insisted.
“Fine, you broke all my living room windows. Okay. It wasn’t really your fault. Gunn had locked the place up. So, you broke them to get in. Glass and wood everywhere. It was a big mess.”
Angel considered her answer and didn’t buy any of it. “What does that have to do with me not cooking you breakfast or being a jerk in the morning. Or are you telling me that I broke the windows in the daylight.”
Cordelia glared, the diverted rant she had planned for alternate Angel bubbling to the surface once again. “You, you dumbass, left me all alone asleep unaware with those broken windows. Every and any creepy crawly wild animal type of thing could strolled in and eaten me AND I was starving when I woke up. You snuck out- all because you’re a big baby.”
Angel bought it. He just didn’t understand it. He waited though rather than ask questions. Cordelia was gearing up for a true Cordy rant. If he didn’t interrupt and listened very carefully, he might be able to figure it all out.
“You ran scared or just were being stupidly mean-all because I made some silly off the cuff remark after great sex. Geez, how old are you? People say things like that all the time after sex. It doesn’t mean anything. But nooooo, you snuck out while I was asleep like a big baby.”
Plan A just flew out the proverbial window. Angel had to interrupt, because if he just figured out why Cordelia was mad, he was crazy in this universe as well as the other one.
“SEX? WE MADE LOVE?”
Cordelia slumped back. “Geez, you don’t have to shout. The alternate ‘grr’ guy liked it just fine.” She huddled further into the headboard.
“Impossible.” Angel said in a slightly lower tone, his head moving frantically from side to side.
Cordelia blinked, opening and closing her mouth like a big stunned fish. “You DID TOO LIKE IT. And we had a lot of SEX, so there. Impossible my ass.”
“It is impossible. Unless, was my soul anchored? It’s that what you’re saying, my soul was anchored and then we made love.”
“No. Your soul…” Cordelia’s eyes widened, her hand flew to her mouth. “Angel, your soul, Skip…”
“WE RISKED ANGELUS. Were you nuts? Was I? Wait I was. But you, you had to know better. Even in re-written history you knew about the curse. What could you possibly be thinking? Were you just STUPID?”
Cordelia shot up on the bed. “I WAS NOT NUTS OR STUPID. YOU HAD SEX AND DIDN’T LOSE YOUR SOUL---IT HAPPENS….DUH.” Cordelia flung herself back down. “Not talking Buffy love here.”
Angel really wanted to yell again. Angel really wanted to know how he could’ve made love to Cordelia and not lose his soul. He really wanted to remember any part of the act…acts. Angel groaned. His alternate-self made ‘lots’ of love with Cordelia. Now, the picture of him hopeless and chained to the wall didn’t seem so horrible, not if he could make love to Cordelia on the good days. It'd be worth it.
“Cordelia, yes, I can have sex without losing my soul, that has been pretty much proven. But, I don’t see how it is possible that WE could’ve made love and I didn’t lose it. Even in that other place. I can’t imagine not being pretty FUCKING HAPPY buried inside you. I can’t believe you risked it.”
“You don’t…or…and… ERH,” Cordelia threw up her hands in frustration. Why couldn’t she keep her dump mouth shut? She took a deep breath. “ The ‘alternate guy’ didn’t love me. So no risk.”
Angel sat on the edge of the bed and studied the agitated young woman. “What ‘off the cuff’ remark did you say that had my ‘alternate’ self running like a baby from your bed leaving you to fend off wild carnivorous animals by yourself.”
“Angel.” She tried to out stare him but failed miserably. Damn him. “Fine. I said I loved you. But…”
Angel nodded, finally understanding everything. “My ‘alternate’ self obviously didn’t believe that it was a meaningless statement or it probably didn’t matter even if he did. Tell me Cordelia, in this alternate universe, did you make me laugh.”
Cordelia scooted back. Angel was making her very nervous. There was something in his tone and the way he kept inching closer that shot tingles along her spine and let loose a thousands butterflies in her stomach. “Um, not really the laughing version. But almost, you smiled a few times.”
Angel nodded. “And I wanted to make sure you were safe- ignoring the wild animal threat for the moment.”
Cordelia nodded, no longer moving away. The vampire was holding her still with his intense gaze.
“And I cooked you breakfast, again ignoring the fact that I was a jerk this morning.”
“Dinner, too.” Cordelia nodded again, not at all sure where Angel was going.
“Of course I cooked you dinner." Angel chuckled lowly. "What about my breakfast and dinner, did I run and hide my blood from you.”
Cordelia scrunched her brow. “You tried, but….well, you did eat my real Bloody Mary mixture. Said you would try the Thai, but I think you ran off to beat up Lilah and Lindsay on purpose just so you could avoid it.”
“You’re probably right.” Angel really smiled.
“Angel, what?”
“It’s easy, Cordy,” Angel reached up to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen over Cordelia’s face. “You said you heard part of what I was saying to the Conduits, but you didn’t hear all of it. I told them that I was more scared of you dying than you were. I asked them what that meant. They didn’t answer. But, as I sat here and watched you lying on this bed so beautiful, so strong yet dying, I remembered every other time I almost lost you and I realized the answer. It’s more than just that I need you- I love you. And I imagine that’s what my other self realized, a lot quicker than I did and with the benefit of being able to hold and love you. I’m very jealous of that self. I imagine that at the moment you said that you loved him, he ran because he realized how so easy it would to get lost in your love. He was scared.”
“Oh,” Cordelia bit her lips, fighting the tears threatening to emerge. “Not such a jerk then, uh.”
“Oh, a jerk, I wouldn’t left you to face hordes of man-eating wild beasts.”
“Angel, there was no wild animals.”
“Duh.” He gently tapped her on the nose.
“I guess maybe it wasn’t so off the cuff, maybe I did or maybe I was falling in love, but I do know that I am in love with you.” She said softly, chancing a glance at the vampire.
Angel closed his eyes bringing her close, gently dropping his forehead to hers. “I know and I love you…and it scares the hell out me. But,” He lifted her face, vowing with his steady gaze. “I won’t run. I promise.”
Cordelia smiled, chewing on her bottom lip. “You don’t have to. I started to tell you, but you kept shouting. Skip, or rather the Powers, what-whoever, anchored your soul right before I was demonized. Skip said he had to fix it before it blew up in our faces.”
Angel pulled away, clutching her firmly by the shoulders. “My soul is bound?”
Cordelia shrugged. “Skip said so. I know the Powers haven’t been the most helpful at times and almost always vague and misleading, but why lie about this. I’m part demon and you’ve got your soul for good.”
“You’re going to live, we love each other, and we can make love, why do I feel like it’s my birthday.” Angel pulled her back for a hug, only to be shoved away.
“BIRTHDAY. That’s right. I never got to open my presents. Where’s yours? You gave it to me then….Where is it? Whatcha get me?” Cordelia piercing gaze searched the bedroom trying to zero in on a small box that screamed birthday present.
“Cordy, …it’s somewhere down stairs. You dropped it when you….when you had the vision.” And flew up against the glass cabinet shattering it. Angel winced at the memory.
“Well, let’s go find it.” She tugged at the vampire to get off the bed.
***
“Whoops. Run.” Fred pulled at Wesley and Gunn.
“We’ve every right to be here. They were yelling.” Wesley said firmly, but his feet quickly following Fred down the hall- away from the door to Angel’s suite and the couple inside.
“Yeah, and there was all that evil ass Angelus talk, had to know.” Gunn justified their eavesdroping as he quickly followed.
“Yeah,” Fred looked up from the bottom step. “Then there was all that love and soul bound stuff.” She sighed. “I think I really like this Skip demon guy.”
“Fred, do I have to remind you, his alternate life version- had you still in Plyea.” Wesley said.
“Okay, so maybe, I only like him some. I bet, they’re up there for a long time.” She sighed again and returned her gaze up the stairs.
“Not taking it.” Gunn shook his head.
“Not a prudent bet. How about though, we all leave.”
“Wait, I’ll get Connor. Don’t want to take a chance of the baby waking and ruining the mood.
***
Angel pulled against Cordelia’s tug. “Presents can wait.” He yanked her back on the bed. “I didn’t have a last night or the night before.”
“There were the mornings too. Didn’t even have to go to the living room once the I bought curtains for the bedroom.”
“You bought curtains for me.”
“Couldn’t be searching for you on the carpet. Once was enough.”
“You can tell me that story later.” He moved closer, his body almost covering Cordelia’s.
Angel growled, pulling back at the knocking on the door.
“Angel, Cordy.” Fred called through the wood.
“What.” Angel grumbled opening the door.
“Sorry,” she poked her head in. “We were just wondering if we could borrow Connor for the day. It’s sunny out and we thought we’d spend it outdoors, if you don’t mind.”
Angel glanced at the bassinet, suddenly remembering the baby, wondering how in the world the small infant had slept through all the yelling. Angel then looked at Cordelia still sitting on the bed. Angel wasn’t willing to take the chance. “Sure, have fun. Here.” Angel quickly grabbed the baby bottles and tote bag. “He’ll be hungry soon.”
Fred nodded. “See ya later,” she nodded, her arms full with the baby and his necessities.
“Angel,” Cordelia narrowed her eyes. “I haven’t gotten my proper baby snuggles yet and you just sent Connor off.”
“Later, I haven’t gotten my proper snuggles at all.” He stalked back to the bed.
Cordelia scooted back, suddenly nervous again. It was Angel. She’d made love to Angel before, she remembered every touch and kiss, but it wasn’t that Angel that was stalking towards her, his eyes dark with an aching need, almost vulnerable, definitely intense, and most assuredly causing the flock of butterflies in her stomach to melt and make her squirm. Would it be different, would it be the same, did it matter?
Cordelia’s thoughts scattered as Angel took possession of her lips and body. It was the same, it was different and it did matter. Because this time, she knew Angel loved her and he knew she loved him. She definitely chose the better life.
End.