Title: Betrayal, Deception & Forgiveness
Author: anne
Posted: 09-17-2002
Rating: PG up to NC-17 (later)
Email: anneeb4@aol.com
Content: C/A
Summary: I'm getting Angel and Cordelia out of the 'situations' that the writers put them at the end of S3
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: No, I haven't managed to buy or get control of ATS over the summer- it still belongs to Joss, Mutant Co & etc
Distribution:
Notes: It's been awhile. I've been taking a break. I haven't read any spoilers for the S4 by choice, haven't written any stories by fact-I haven't had any ideas or I did, but I didn't have an idea how to start- I wanted to get the hero's out of the their respective problems- but I couldn't figure out what to write, so I didn't. I did try some of the other ideas that were suggested but until I could either get Angel out of the situation or watch it, all my other ideas slowed to a complete stop.
Well, I started writing, of course, it would have to be close to when Joss blows everything I write out of the water, so I'm going to be posting quickly from now on- trying to get the story out before the season premiere.
Dedication: anybody and everybody that read my stuff before and took the time to say nice things. Thanks.Part 10
Angel didn't pause before kicking in the door. He had the shotgun out of Wesley's hands before it could be raised.
Wesley looked down at the useless weapon then up at the vampire. "Seems that I neglected to revoke your invitation. Damn."
"Where is she?"
"Whom would you be speaking of?"
"The bitch, I know she's here."
"Oh, her. Bedroom." Wesley pointed.
Angel glanced, the disgust apparent on his face, at the half dressed man. "Betrayal breeds bad taste?"
"Pot calling the kettle a little black isn't that. After all, you know about betrayal and how 'going through a bad time' can lead to unimaginable bedfellows. At least this union won't lead to the 'ruination of mankind'."
"I wouldn't be too confident of the 'innocence' of anything spawned from you two."
"How flattering, love to see men fighting over me, even it's too trade snappy insults about me." Lilah stood in the doorway of the bedroom. "And thanks for selling me out," she added shooting a glare at Wesley.
"It's not like he didn't know you were here and I didn't feel like ending up bruised or dead." Wesley turned back to the vampire. "Or is this it, you planning to finish what you started in the hospital? Why the long wait, something new tic you off?"
Angel ignored the man and stalked towards Lilah. "Where is she?"
"I don't know who you are taking about." Lilah stepped back.
"Stalling isn't a real smart idea right now, Lilah. I'm in no mood for games." Angel stepped closer, his face looming in front of hers.
"Fine. I don't know where your seer is," Lilah backed up into the wall. "Wesley, do something."
"Don't kill her, don't kill her. How's that." Wesley made no move towards the threatening vampire or the woman.
"Bastard."
Wesley rolled his eyes and stepped closer. "Angel, we don't know where Cordy is, okay."
"You know that she's gone." Angel swung around.
"Only just recently. It seems that Gunn imparted that knowledge to Lilah as well as that you were also missing. I assumed that you were together. I take it my assumption was incorrect considering you are here and she's not. Possibly, she's back in Mexico enjoying the sun with her boyfriend. I mean, if you were gone, why not."
"He's not her boyfriend."
"Well then, if she's not with you or with Groo, I suggest asking Lorne for a hot line to the Powers after all she is one of theirs. We don't know where she is. Please leave."
"Or what." Angel growled.
"Or kill us."
"Wesley." Lilah squeaked.
"Why waste my time." Angel left.
"Or kill us?" Lilah jerked on Wesley's arm. "Are you crazy and why didn't you do the uninvite spell, he did try to kill you before. I can't believe I 've been sleeping here unprotected."
"What's the point, you came without being invited why wouldn't he."
"He's a vampire."
"I'm not grasping the distinction. Anyway, I had other things on my mind."
Lilah scoffed. "Right your head in the sand and a death wish. Lilah paused. "Why didn't he threaten us more? In fact, I've seen him madder. Do you think that the stint underwater mellowed him?"
Wesley slowly closed the door the vampire had stormed out of. "No. I just think that killing us would've been a distraction and he's very focused right now- on Cordelia. If that goal's not met soon, he'll come back." Wesley turned towards Lilah. "It's imperative that we find Cordelia."
"If the kid didn't kill her, I don't have clue what happened to her."
"Connor didn't. Wolfram & Hart has to have a way to tap into the Powers."
"Not my league." Lilah answered accepting Wesley's assertion.
"Then find someone who's in that league. Cordelia isn't just dead or gone. She wouldn't leave Angel and if one of his other enemies, beside Wolfram & Hart, had her or killed her they would let him know even if it was just to gloat." Wesley shook his head. "Wolfram & Hart and the Powers are the only ones that I can think of that would take her without wanting an immediate reaction from Angel."
"Why would the Powers take her? She's their link to Angel."
"They offered her a charmed life just to keep her alive. They made her a demon because she chose to remain Angel's seer. They may feel their actions give them possessor rights to her, even more so than Angel."
"Well, we don't have her. I'll talk to Linwood."
Lilah jerked as a loud a banging resounded through the door. "Decided that it wasn't a distraction?"
"Angel doesn't knock." Wesley headed for the door. "Can we help you?" He said to Gunn and Fred, the girl's hand in midair ready to bang again.
"What did you tell him?" Gunn pushed forward.
"Ask him," Wesley turned away.
"Her. How could you?" Fred glared at Lilah dressed only in Wesley's shirt.
"I don't see how that is any of your business. Now, please leave." Wesley went to shut the door.
"Whoa, your traveling down the darkside isn't, except when it effects us and ours. What did you tell Angel?" Gunn aggressively blocked the door.
"Gunn, Angel just paid us a call and left us alive, do you really think that you can scare us. Ask him."
"Tell us." Gunn grabbed at Wesley.
"If it will make you leave, fine. I told him to check with the Powers because we don't know anything. Satisfied, now go."
"Wesley, how.."
"Come on, girl, the bastard's made his choice." Gunn pulled Fred back.
Wesley stepped forward halting their departure. "I believe that choice was made for me when my friends abandoned me without a consideration or a word.Oh, wait there were words.Angel's were- I'm going to kill you and let's see, Fred- weren't yours- something like never comeback. Charles, I think just asked for my help but gave no support and sweet missing Cordelia never said a word, ignoring me- did she even remember that I existed. I don't think so. I made the choice that was left for me. Leave."
"Wesley.."
"First abandonment and censure- and now self-righteous indignation or is that a hint of pity, really Fred, why should I give a damn what any of you think? You want answers, ask Angel. Goodbye," Wesley said slamming the door.
"That was impressive." Lilah smiled.
"Let's go to bed."
Lilah's eyes widened. "I think I'll like the new you."
"I'm not new, I just now know what I want. Coming?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Tomorrow, you will ask Linwood about Cordelia." Wesley ordered pushing Lilah to the bed.
"Sure." Lilah mumbled as Wesley's weight covered her body.
Part 11
"Angel's gone again." Fred swirled around the empty hotel.
"Wesley told him something. He'll be back."
"Why?" Fred flopped down on the sofa. "Why, is this happening? How could everything go so wrong- Connor dumping Angel into the bottom of the ocean, INSANE," Fred took a deep breath, " Cordelia missing, Wesley shacking up with that..that evil bitch. Why?"
"Angel will find Cordelia." Gunn said mustering all of his confidence trying to reassure the young woman.
Fred blinked up at her boyfriend. "Connor?"
"He'll fix that too."
"Wesley?"
"Who cares."
Fred buried her head in her hands. "Why?"
***********
Angel stood outside the chamber of the Conduits. Wesley had given the vampire a possibility.
Angel pushed his way through the barriers of the Conduit's sanctuary. He stood in the middle of the chamber, a bit surprised that it had been easier than the last time.
"Talk to me." He yelled. "Where's Cordelia?" Angel braced himself for the Conduit's welcoming toss against the wall. He waited more surprised when voices answered and he was still standing.
"He wishes his seer."
"We can not help him, not anymore."
"Yes, you can. Tell me where she is. Do you have her?" Angel yelled moving and pacing.
"The seer is out of our reach at this time. Her return will come with her strength and his trust. It is still possible. "
"Trust? Who? You? You would've let her die. Talk to me." Angel stormed yelling.
"She was given the choice of lives. She chose. She will choose again."
"She's dying again? Where is she?"
This time Angel was thrown up against the wall. He staggered back to his feet. "I need her. Tell me." He yelled as he was thrown again.
"He's need is as real as it's transparent. He will fail. He's weak. He's killed innocents at the demon's need. He's unworthy."
Angel stalled at the voices became rapid blurs bouncing off the walls, shifting into nothing but mere whispers in the winds circling around the cavern. He started to yell again, beg again, when the murmuring breeze froze around him, solidifying into an unbreakable barrier.
"He will prove his worthiness as she will, if they can."
"What do you mean?" Angel tried to force his strength against the invisible cage that held him still.
"We will tell you this, you will be a great force for the Powers or an utter failure the choice is yours, just as your seer's choice will be hers. Trust."
"Trust? What? Who? You?" Angel paused, as the words seemed to be directed to him for the first time.
"The meaning of the words spoken in this chamber before. That what scares you the most, you must trust. She may, she is stronger than expected. Can you?"
Silence filled the empty room as the voices drifted away. Suddenly, Angel was thrown not at the wall, but through it and left huddled in the alley where he started.
Part 12
"Linwood."
"Why the interest in the seer? You're report clearly indicates that she was killed at the boy's hands."
"I may've been mistaken."
"Admitting a mistake? That's a dangerous thing around here." Linwood settled back in his plush chair.
"I believe it is a mistake that can be rectified to the benefit of the firm, sir."
Linwood motioned for Lilah to continue.
The woman cleared her throat. "As I'm sure you are aware, I've been attempting to cultivate Angel's former friend and employer."
Linwood smiled. "I'm aware that you've been sleeping with the enemy."
Lilah blinked once but remained still. "Wesley is not our enemy."
"He's not our ally." Linwood interrupted.
"Almost. But he's not Angel's friend, not any longer. He is beginning to see the value of an association with Wolfram & Hart." Lilah defended.
"Does he?"
"Yes," Lilah nodded decisively.
Linwood cradled his chin on his fingertips. "And he believes that the acquisition of Angel's seer would benefit in our controlling the vampire."
"He says."
Linwood held up his hand. "Don't bother- I've read the transcripts."
"Transcripts? You bugged his apartment without my knowledge?"
"Of course not, we bugged you without your knowledge. Did you think that I would wait for you late reports anymore." Linwood's smile became bigger.
Lilah thought of all she said to Wesley, resisting her urge to run her hands all over her body and head trying to find the implant. She stood straighter relaxing her hands- any words of sexual pleasure that she may have shouted were meaningless- she hadn't told any vital secrets of the firm. "Then you know what he thinks." She said with renewed confidence.
"Yes and I, as well as, the senior partners would agree that if he is truly ready to join the firm his presence would be helpful in regards to the son. As for the seer's importance."
"He knows them both. He says.."
Linwood held up his hand again. "Yes, it was known before your little extracurricular bed games. The senior partners had already given the order. The seer has been ours for sometime. Coincidently, it was very near the same time the son dropped the vampire to the bottom of the sea. Ironic, wouldn't you agree."
Lilah stepped back. "Cordelia Chase is here?"
"A guest on the top floor, the very top floor."
"We have Angel's son and his seer?"
Linwood rubbed his hands together. "Better yet, we will have Angel. It's only a matter of time now. The seer is on our side."
Lilah narrowed her eyes. " Cordelia has turned her back on Angel? I don't believe it."
"She's been 'convinced' that her recent choices were not what she truly wanted. Of course, there will be a testing time but if all goes as expected she will be freed to complete our plan for her."
"She's going to betray Angel?" Lilah couldn't help but be doubtful.
"Yes and she will bring Angel to us."
Lilah stepped back thinking, replaying the memories of all her past 'on hands' experience of both the vampire and his seer. "You can't trust her." Lilah concluded.
"That's to be seen, she had spent the last month on the top floor and she will be tested before she's released."
"Linwood, I agree wholeheartedly that having the seer is a benefit. Wesley has confirmed that she is important to the vampire- with Connor and Cordelia, Angel just may come to us."
"You doubt."
"Strongly, as to the seer's change of sides."
"The senior partners are convinced that it will be done."
Lilah took a deep breath, holding her tongue. She started again. "Then I recommend that Wesley be a part of this test. He's proven valuable with Connor. He knows all of the parties intimately. He'll know if she is lying."
"The soothsayers will tell."
"Still, it couldn't hurt to have Wesley present. He could be useful. His would be an experienced opinion.
"You think that highly of him."
"I think that after all that has happened, when faced together that neither will be able to lie to each other or us. If either has truly decided to abandon the mission that they have fought for and suffered for so long, then they won't be able to hide the truth from each other and then we'll know the truth."
Linwood raised in his chair. "So, amplified 'oohs' and 'ahhs' aside you don 't completely trust Wesley."
Lilah refused to let her blush hit her cheeks. "I'm not stupid, never have been. Wesley was a watcher and a major part of Angel's mission, I'm good, but I'll even admit not that good to be utterly sure. My loyalty will always be for this firm. It's best interest is my motivation. By allowing Wesley too participate in the test, we'll be killing two birds with one stone, forgive the cliché." Lilah gave her well-worn perfective smile.
Linwood stood. "I'm very glad to see that you haven't been blinded to your priorities, especially considering what you would have to lose if you failed us."
"I've always said, ra! ra! Wolfram & Hart! All the way." Lilah lifted her palms upward.
Linwood shook his head. "Disrespectful, but for the most part your work-product has been good, so I'll let that slip slide. Set it up. The seer will face the more experienced seers tomorrow and Wesley. We'll know the truth then. "
Part 13
"We have Cordelia," Lilah said from her position on Wesley's chest.
Wesley stopped his caress and sat up in the bed. "You had Cordy all this time?"
Lilah jerked back more at his tone than his actions. "I didn't know." She said defensively. "I asked Linwood, I told you I would and he told me. The firm took her about the same time Angel ended up at the bottom of the ocean. Coincidence he said, not related, just one of those wacky things that this business brings" Lilah tried to stop the unease that was building in her belly at Wesley's cold stare. "She's been on the top floor for a month."
"And that means." Wesley moved further from the woman in his bed.
Lilah shrugged, attempting to regain her normal cool demeanor. "They say she's now willing to work for us. Things, Powers are up on the top floor- I do know that. It's not easily accessible, or a desired designation, associates go to never come back. Torture, who knows, who cares, but the firm's party line is that Cordy's on our side. I've a little more doubt than they have but they have fitted her with an empathic device that supposedly acts as some sort of mind, body polygraph. I've suggested that you could tell better if her new choice is real. Can you do it? Oh, by the way, I'm bugged, not by choice, but I am, so if you're going to declare your love or such, I thought you should know." Lilah said in cocky teasing tone, regaining her equilibrium.
"Any declarations that I may have contemplated then will just have to wait." Wesley stood, still staring at the woman. "Cordy was tortured for the last month and now she's changed sides?" His cool blues eyes bore into Lilah's.
Lilah wondered why she was nervous, it was just Wesley. She sighed. "That's what I've learned. I...we need you. Wesley. If she gets the clearance from the seers and such, she'll be turned loose on Angel."
"I need to see her." Wesley demanded.
Lilah tugged at the sheet jerking it around her body. "You are hung up on the seer." Her sharp statement was more like a question.
"I'm hung up on the fact that after knowing the history of Darla and Angelus, Buffy and Angel, seeing Cordelia and Angel together, there is one conclusion that I've come to- the vampire will protect what he thinks is his and the soul conversely just makes him more determined and dangerous to those that hurt which he believes to be his or his responsibility. That vampire is more dangerous than Angelus could ever be. Angelus may have killed for Darla, but only when it wasn't too inconvenient. Angel, on the other hand, too protect the human Darla's soul caused a helluva a lot of damage. Angel and Buffy- he dusted Darla without even blinking for that girl." Wesley shook his head again.
"You're talking about the slayer."
"Yes. He killed Darla the first time to protect Buffy."
"Then she's the one we should have."
Wesley stared at the woman. "You'll have no real idea of Angelus or Angel, do you? You just got a piece of paper and said a 'whoo' a prophecy here's something we need to watch." Wesley stepped back.
"He chose Darla over Cordelia, he killed Darla for the slayer." Lilah argued.
Wesley laughed sardonically. "You're idiots. Angel didn't choose Darla over Cordelia. He was trying to protect Darla's new-founded humanity, when that failed he started on a course of action -revenge- basically the destruction of Wolfram & Hart, damn the consequence to his mission or his redemption. "
"He left you all, he left his seer."
Wesley shook his head. " He left to protect us, or at least that was what he said, but the truth I expect was it was primarily Cordelia he was concerned with. She was definitely his priority when he did come back and he did come back. It was her forgiveness and acceptance he really wanted- hell- that he needed. He just didn't realize at the time how much or why. That's what stopped Wolfram & Hart's plan from really succeeding," Wesley turned at Lilah's snort. "Oh, you'll caused harm but you didn't damage anything not really, in fact that whole Darla is human then she's not- escapade just brought Cordelia and Angela closer, after that bit of drama and a few rough bumps, they became inseparable, even after Darla came back with the evidence of Angel's lapse clear in her belly. " Wesley laughed again. "The only thing that saved Darla this last time, after she attacked Cordelia, was the ensouled baby she carried. You know, Wolfram & Hart is to blame for Cordelia and Angel's bond. They pulled together after each thing you threw at them getting closer and closer with each new danger. I'll wait until I see Cordelia then I'll judge whether this plan of Wolfram & Hart's is a valid one or just another example of how you'll keep making them the most unlikely but strongest couple of this whole game." Wesley shook his head. " Oh, and just for an added thought, Angel, while being a vampire is also a man, a man that recognizes that Cordy is a very beautiful woman."
"Cordy, Cordelia, who cares," Lilah jerked her head away.
Wesley turned suddenly gentler, leaning back down on the bed. "Wolfram & Hart and Angel."
"What about you?" Lilah moving her body closer to Wesley's.
"Cordelia was a temptation in Sunnydale. She was beautiful and had an amazing self-imposed ignorance of the danger that existed. She was Cordelia. But then as she's remarked over the years 'the most unforgettable kiss in a lifetime' happened and she graduated. If there was ever a chance, it ended in the library stacks of Sunnydale High and I knew my place once I saw Angel and Cordelia together in LA."
Lilah leaned up caressing her hands up Wesley's face. "I'm sorry."
"Why?" Wesley jerked away, unaccustomed to Lilah's emotional display.
"Cordelia, she's hurt you repeatedly."
Wesley smiled a soft smile and shrugged. "Only once. Don't you want to have sex?" He asked trying to get back where he needed to be.
Lilah started to question Wesley some more, but his hand had started to caress downward pulling the sheet off her body.
***********
Wesley looked down at the woman cradling his body. He nudged and whispered. Lilah's sleeping body moved as Wesley's positioned her on the other side of the bed.
Wesley stood by the bed looking at naked woman curling herself in the covers. Wesley knew what he was doing was right but it didn't feel righteous. He shrugged and went to meet Angel.
Part 14
Wesley sat in the front pew of the church remembering the first night he came home from the hospital. He remembered standing in the doorway of his empty apartment holding onto the box of his belongings that his friends had packed for him not out of concern or care but to make sure that he never stepped foot in Angel Investigations again. He had been so sure of the prophecy, so sure in his ability to research that he had believed the unimaginable- that Angel would kill his son. He had lived with his choices because he had believed that he was saving Connor and Angel. Wesley leaned back in the pew a sickness swirling in his stomach, the same sickness that had appeared and remained when Fred told him that the prophecy had been false- a set up orchestrated by those that wanted the baby dead- that because of his actions, Holtz had taken the baby to a hell dimension. Wesley had thought that that sickness would never leave. He had wondered how he could've been so arrogant in his knowledge that he didn't question his results or tell his friends. Alone he had destroyed everything, together they would've figured it out. Wesley had known that because his friends had done it without him and that knowledge just ate away at his being. Wesley had wished then that Justine had succeeded in killing him preventing his knowledge of the truth.
Wesley remembered how standing alone in his apartment he had questioned his ability to survive. That's when he realized that he wasn't alone. Angel had appeared from the shadows saying nothing just staring at him. That's when the doubts went away, Wesley wasn't going to have to worry about surviving.
"Are you going to kill me?" He asked, not really caring at that moment about the answer.
"Do you want me too?"
"It might be easier."
Angel laughed harshly at that. "Easier? I don't want to make it easier for you. You took my son. Tell me, Wesley, had it really been your plan to give him to Holtz."
Wesley shook his head placing his box on the table. "I would never have done that. I just wanted to take Connor away."
"How can I believe you?"
Wesley shrugged sadly. "I don't know."
"Well, I do. I can't forgive you, but I won't kill you."
Wesley lifted his eyes to the vampire.
"You were used just as I was. I want my son back."
"I can help you."
"No, I've already taken steps in that regards. I've something else in mind for you."
"What?"
"I want those truly responsible. Attacking Wolfram & Hart from the outside never seems to accomplish much- kill a bunch of lawyers and more just crawl out from under the rocks. This time, I want to take them down from the inside."
Wesley studied the vampire. "They won't believe that I'd join them."
"They will if they think I'd kill you as soon as look at you. They will if they think it's their idea to recruit you."
"You had this in mind when you almost choked me to death."
"Oh, don't kid yourself, Wes, I do want to kill you. I stand here seeing the loss of my son and a friend's betrayal. The urge to rip your head from your shoulders is real enough but I need you alive and inside Wolfram & Hart not dead."
Wesley sat down and poured a drink. "Destroying Wolfram & Hart will not be easy or quick. It could take months if not longer."
"I can be patient when I need to be."
"Will you tell the others?"
Angel shook his head. "You have to be cut off completely."
"Very well."
That remembered conversation vanished from Wesley's mind as Angel slid into the pew next to him.
"The Conduits said that Cordelia was out of their reach. Wolfram & Hart must have her. If you can't get the information from Lilah then I will."
"That won't be necessary. Linwood told Lilah earlier today that they have Cordelia, that they've had her for the last month. Ironic coincidence to your own disappearance, he said."
"Where?"
"Angel."
"Where." Angel demanded.
"Angel, if I tell you and you go, Lilah will know that I told you. I'll be useless to you."
"I'll kill her and they will just think she told me. Where's Cordelia?"
"That could work except I need Lilah to get me in Wolfram & Hart. I haven't met with anyone but her. If she's dead, I might not be able to."
"Cordy's more important."
Wesley nodded. "Of course but, Angel, they also have Connor."
Angel closed his eyes briefly, and then focused. "Where are they keeping Cordy."?
"Angel, if you go after her there's no telling what they will do to Connor. I need to be inside. And well, there is another complication."
"What?"
"It's Cordelia. Linwood said that the senior partners have been keeping her on the top floor, conditioning her."
"Conditioning?"
"Torture was the implication."
"I have to go now."
"Angel, wait. The conditioning or whatever was done has convinced them that Cordelia is now willing to work with them."
"They're dead."
"Who, Angel, the faceless 'senior partners'? We need a face that's why you wanted me in the firm."
"What I want is Cordelia. She will not be held prisoner by them, not any longer."
"That's just it, Angel, the consensus is she's not a prisoner or won't be one for very much longer. She'll be let loose and one can predict what the next stage of their plan is."
"They want her to betray me."
"Yes and they think she will."
"Never."
Wesley shrugged. "I would've agreed but Lilah implied without knowing any specifics the top floor houses some very powerful things. Forces that Cordelia, as strong as she is, might not have been able to resist."
"I won't leave her there."
"Angel, tomorrow they want me to see her, they want me to judge her sincerity- me and a roomful of truthsayers. If she passes their test, they will trust her. If she doesn't I imagine it's back to the top floor. If that happens, of course, we'll act."
"They trust you?"
"I could believe that but I believe the more correct assessment is that it's a test for both of us."
Angel stood pacing. "The test is immaterial if I take her tonight."
Wesley jumped up. "Angel, we need to know if we can trust her."
"I trust her."
"Angel, you will always trust her even if she's untrustworthy, you love her. I need to know, Fred and Gunn need to know. If she's not because of some power or spell, we need to know so that we can counteract it."
"We can deal with that if it's a problem when I have her. I'm going."
"Angel, please, let me go tomorrow. If Wolfram & Hart is correct in their belief, they will let her go. We can take her then it will be easier than barging in. If it's not and they take her back to the top floor, then we can barge, burning the whole goddamn place down if we have to."
Angel stared, his need and instincts fighting against Wesley's logic. "Tomorrow, I will have her." He said deciding. "How will you past their test?"
"By being as truthful as possible and by resisting the urge to take her and Connor and run. Can you do that, can you wait until tomorrow?"
"No longer."
Wesley nodded, relieved for the moment. "Do you want to hear about Connor?"
"He's alive and he didn't kill Cordelia, that's all I need to know for now."
"Angel, you're going to have to deal with the fact that your son tried to bury you at sea. He's starting to trust me. He did what he did because Justine told him that you killed Holtz. Angel..."
"It doesn't matter now. Cordelia's is the only one that does."
Part 15
It's time."
"For what?" Cordelia leaned out of her bright confine.
"To test your new founded direction."
"Hmmph. It wasn't new founded, the other was. You should know that." Cordelia brushed off her top. "Any chance I can get better clothes, this was tasteful but." Cordelia looked down at her gauzy white shirt and pants. "Cheap." She scrunched her face at the young girl. "There really is truth in the benefit of designer clothes. The style is fine," she looked again at her clothed body. "But the feel of the material, geez."
"Clothing is immaterial."
"Sure, you can say that you want to dress and look like a Disney film. But, we're addressing my needs and wants.and designer clothes are one of those needs and wants- of this season or better yet the next, got to be on the cutting edge. Remember negotiations." Cordelia smiled smugly at the little girl.
The little girl glanced up concentrating as if listening to someone else. She turned and looked to Cordelia. "You're serious."
"Yeah." Cordelia rolled her eyes and spun around. "Well?"
The little girl looked up again.
Cordelia stopped abruptly in her twirl. "Waiting for permission from up high or what?"
"The seers say that you're telling the truth."
Cordelia blinked. "You tested my 'truth' about my desire for expensive clothes?" Cordelia chuckled her shoulders shaking. "You'll be looking spacey a lot, if you keep that up. I know what I want and designer clothes are a major want. I've always been more comfortable in real silk and cotton, not those fake blends that I've had to buy in discount stores recently."
"You believe that."
"Believe what? I know that, Geez." Cordelia walked to the wall. "So, do I get the wardrobe of my choice, I want to choose. Granted, I've only really seen you and Lilah, but I just don't trust either of you to choose my outfits. I will admit, Lilah was okay in the shoe department, but she was way too suity for my taste and YOU" Cordelia pointed. "Way too 'little girly'". Cordelia smiled.
"You are."
"Cordelia Chase." She beamed giving a mock bow.
Polly just stared.
"Geez, okay, no shopping sprees right this minute." Cordelia shrugged and started to pace. "So what? Does the test come to me, or do I go to it. Getting bored, here."
"It's time." The little girl scrambled to regain the purpose that Cordelia' s babble dragged her from. "And we can see you, remember." The little girl glared.
"Whatever." Cordelia flicked off the other being's look. "Time's a wasting."
***********
Cordelia ignored the lawyer that was escorting her from the white room; instead she concentrated on her neglected nails.
"This way."
Cordelia gave another disgusted glance at her bare and chipped nails and followed the man into a large conference room. "Nice room, ewwy occupants," wrinkling her nose at the row of cloaked beings lined up against the wall. She leaned into the young male lawyer that had escorted her. "Are we shooting them because of their bad taste in clothing. I'm all for that." She whispered to the startled lawyer.
"Ms. Chase."
Cordelia turned away from the nervous young lawyer that ran as soon as he was released from Cordy's presence. "Who are you?" She said to the middle age well dressed man that had spoken.
"You may call me Linwood."
"Oh, Lilah's boss." Cordelia shrugged.
"Yes."
Cordelia glanced around. "So, when will this test start?"
"We are waiting for two more. Ah, here they are. You know Lilah and well of course you recognize Mr. Wyndiem-Price." Linwood stood as the couple entered the room.
Cordelia narrowed her eyes at Wesley. "Employment change?"
"I'm not sure you could actually call it a change as I was previously unemployed."
Cordelia nodded. "You shouldn't have betrayed Angel then you would've still had a job."
"Isn't that what you're planning to do that's what the firm wants you to do, isn't it?"
"Pfft, they don't want me to betray Angel exactly, just help him across the street, so to speak."
"And you're willing to do that? I find that difficult to believe."
"Is this the test trying to convince you?"
"Partly."
"They do know that you betray your friends, right? That your not exactly trustworthy yourself."
"I believe my motivations are understood."
"Oh right, get back at Angel because he tried to kill you."
"Partly but mostly I had no where else to go. You do, what's your motivation."
"Well, avoiding anymore pain is a big one. But mostly because I want to."
"You want to?" Lilah spoke up. "Since when?"
Cordelia gave a slow blink to the other woman and a small smirk grew on her face. "Scared I'll be promoted over you."
"Only doubtful as to your change of heart."
"Hmmph. Not much faith in the 'convincing' abilities of the firm, are you. Believe me, they have some doozies. Let's go through the list, 48 hours strapped in a psyche ward- nowhere to hide from Vocah's visions, my brain hy-jacked and the whole Job number being played out on my body, gross, then there was the time they tried to steal my eyes, and I'm sure there's been plenty more, but those come first to mind, not to mention what happened on the top floor with little Miss Scary Moppet. I figure, my association with the Powers hasn't brought anything but pain and for what- sure they gave me the nifty- glowly thing, but haven't been real helpful in what it means or what to do with it- Wolfram & Hart can and will. Then, of course, there is the money. " Cordelia turned to Wesley. "How much are you getting paid?"
"Compensation has not been discussed at this stage."
"Wesley, how many times have I told you, you don't take a job without seeing the money first."
Wesley pushed at his glasses. "So, you've been tortured and now you want money."
"Yeah, Wesley, it's not like me wanting money is a new concept" Cordy scrunched up her face," being tortured isn't really a new concept either. Well, I'm tired of it. It hurts and I deserve more than being the first one everyone wants to maim or kill to get back at Angel. Come on Wesley, you know me better than anyone, even Angel. Remember the real me, the one before I got dragged into the hopelessness of helping the hopeless loop. They'll always be there, I can't stop it, and it's time that I go back to what I do best."
"And what would that be?"
"Wesley, please, looking out for me of course.
"So, Queen C is back."
"She never left just got lost." Cordelia turned to Linwood. "Are we done?"
"Just one more thing, kill him." Motioning to Wesley.
"Kill Wesley." Cordelia turned and contemplated the intended target. "I don't know- do you have a sword I could borrow? So far, the glowly stuff has only killed slimy, slithery things- I know, maybe I could kill her," pointing to Lilah, Cordelia's hand started to glow.
"Enough." The little girl materialized in the conference room. "Well?" she turned to the row of soothsayer. The cloaked figures nodded once in unison. "Good. Cordelia, you have passed."
"Duh. Can I get this thing out of my neck now."
"Not quite yet, its readings also indicate that you are telling the truth, but as a precaution we'll leave it in for now."
"Hmmph."
Wesley stepped closer to the young woman. "Cordelia, if I may ask, what are you going to tell Angel about where you've been? You tell him that you were kidnapped by Wolfram & Hart, he's not going to be in the mood to be sympathetic to the firm."
"Oh, that's easy- the Powers took me. Skip came to me, talking about duty and destiny and zip I was floating up like some cheesy angel. Only, they didn't want to promote me to help Angel in his mission, they wanted me to leave him and when I refused they kept me prisoner. He'll believe it. Geez, I did at first. His anger will be directed towards the Powers not Wolfram & Hart."
Wesley nodded, impressed. "It will work."
"I know." Cordelia smiled.
The little girl turned to Wesley. "Mr. Wyndiem-Price, it seems that you also have been truthful- but you are also anxious, why is that?"
"Queen C has always had the power to scare me." Wesley kept his eyes on Cordelia.
"Of course, I'm the original vicious bitch."
Wesley shook his head and turned to the little girl. "I believe that the term 'the bitch is back' is appropriate." Wesley chuckled. "Lilah may very well be in danger of having stiletto heels trample her as Cordy climbs the corporate ladder."
"Possible, the pointy heel is making a come back." Cordelia smiled. So, now what? Angel?"
"I thought you wanted to go shopping first."
"Clothes." Cordelia's face lit up. "Yes. Oh, and Polly, salary- you haven' t mentioned it yet, but I expect it to be quite high, plus I'll need a 401K and insurance and a car." Cordelia followed the little girl out of the room. Cordelia paused and called out over her shoulder. "Wesley, takes notes if you're going to work for Wolfram & Hart make sure you get what you deserve."
"I will, Cordelia."
***********
"You're quiet, Lilah. Fearful, that Cordelia will usurp your position with the firm?"
"I still can't believe it." She shook her head towards the door as Linwood and the soothsayers left.
"Linwood accepts it as does that little girl, who is she or better yet what is she? She seemed to command even your boss."
Lilah shrugged. "The occupant of the white room."
"A demon?"
Again Lilah shrugged. "She's powerful and scary, that's all I know."
Wesley gazed settled on the opened doorway. "A senior partner?"
"Like, I said I don't know and don't want to know. Are you leaving?"
"I'm stopping to see Connor first."
Lilah nodded. "I'll be late. Linwood wants me to open Cordelia Chase's 'personnel file'; I don't see why we can't use the old one, just change labels. Friend from foe." Lilah shook her head, still not completely convinced about the young woman's change of heart.
"I wasn't aware that I expressed any interest in your plans for this evening."
"You know this game you're are playing is getting old."
"Who's playing?" Wesley left.
Part 16
Wesley paced up and down the aisle of the church, stopping when he heard Angel's voice directly behind him.
"How is she?"
"As beautiful as ever. In fact, she reminds me of the teenager I first met in Sunnydale. In looks and attitude." Wesley sighed.
"Wesley."
"She passed their test. I believe her. Whatever happened up in the room as turned Cordelia back into a superficial, self-absorbed, money-oriented young woman that she had been."
"Cordy was never like that."
"Angel, she was and you know it or would if you hadn't spent the whole time in Sunnydale obsessing on Buffy."
"I know Cordy." Angel growled, paying no attention to Wesley's observation.
Wesley shook his head and tried again. "Angel, she's happily gone shopping. Probably deciding on the most expensive and best outfit to start her new mission in, which is to betray you. She's dangerous."
"So, they're letting her go."
"Angel, did you hear what I said."
"I don't care. I'll get her back."
"You won't have to- she's going to come to you with a story that the Powers had kept her prisoner for all this time, that they wanted to separate you two. She will try to put a wedge between you and your mission. You can't trust her. Angel, I don't know what they did to her- she mentioned a lot of pain, more than the other experiences of pain she's listed out. Angel, she just may have met her tolerance level. I don't know if we can get our Cordy back. Good god, what did they do to her?"
Wesley lifted his head. The vampire had already left. Wesley signed deeply, worried about what was to come. Wesley dragged his feet out the church, his mind racing through all possible spells that could help counteract Cordelia's conditioning.
Part 17
Angel glided through the darkened lobby of the hotel straight into his suite.
"Where have you been?" Cordelia glared as the vampire entered.
"Out." Angel slowed standing still in front of the young woman, fighting the urge to crush her into him.
Cordelia waved away his answer. "No, stupid, where have you been for the last month. They said that Connor imprisoned you. Where? How? And where is Connor?" Cordelia rushed to Angel, clutching at his coat. "Are you all right? Did he hurt you? Of course, he did. Damn. What did he do? Why? Are you all right? Why aren't you answering me? They didn't tell me anything except that you were imprisoned then loose. Which was good to hear- but I want to know the rest. Don't just stand there like a dark brooding statue- I'm found- why aren't you surprised, nevermind- start talking," Cordelia demanded.
Angel put his hands on Cordelia's shoulders and gently pushed, not wanting to believe but remembering Wesley's warning. "Who are they, Cordelia? Where have you been."?
Cordelia let out a snort of disgust, her hands gesturing in the air. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you, I barely believe it and I was there. Stupid. But, it doesn't matter now. I'm home. What matters are you and Connor -what happened? Is he here? Are you all right? You don't look very good, too pale. Have you been eating?"
"Cordelia," Angel said sharply. "Where have you been, you've been missing for over a month. Tell me."
"I told you it doesn't matter...Fine." She grunted at Angel's expression or rather lack of one. " I was driving, everything went glowy and stopped, then there was Skip, telling me that because of the new powers that I'd been given, the PTB expected me to do more stuff for them, you know, other than just the visions. I agreed." Cordelia let out another disgusted Hmmph. "Next thing I know I'm all bright and floaty."
"The Powers took you?" Angel stepped back from the young woman.
Cordelia shook her head. "I thought so, but no- I was wrong. Stupid, it makes sense now, the vision I had before it all happened, well sort of makes sense. It wasn't very clear. I just thought it was me telling me that I loved you. But no, it must've been a warning, though why the vision couldn't showed a lot more clearly that Skip wasn't Skip but some Wolfram & Hart Disney version of Pollyanna. Definitely a little girl that makes you never want to have kids. Sugar and spice.Pfft, yeah right. " Cordelia started pacing in circles, waving her hands talking more to herself than Angel.
"Cordy." Angel reached to stop the moving woman.
"Wolfram & Hart, staged this whole elaborate ascension to a higher destiny thing and I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Stupid. That's where I've been with those creeps. They let me go because they want me to turn you away from the mission, you know, the usual stuff. But, it's not important, I'm back and I'm fine. What's important are you and Connor."
"And how did they expect you to do this?" Angel said softly walking closer to the young woman. The weight that Wesley's warning had placed on his heart slowly lifted. The Conduits had been right, he needed to trust what he feared the most..His love for Cordelia.
Cordelia smiled brightly. "They hired me, huge salary, retirement and everything, got a new wardrobe as a signing bonus." Cordelia scrunched up her face. "Well, a partial new wardrobe, they wouldn't fly me to New York for the stuff I really wanted, said maybe later, after I prove to them that you've turned against the Powers. What?" she said at Angel's expression. "I needed new clothes, anyway, they deserved to be taken for as much money and stuff as I could take them for, they kept me prisoner and messed with my mind. Hmmph. The salary they can keep, but I'm not giving the clothes back. Pfft."
"Are you sure they weren't successful, I mean with the messing of the mind stuff." A memory of having the ability to smile overcame Angel and with it the hope that he would soon be able to do it again.
"Very funny." Cordelia glared. "They think they did. And you said, I couldn't act."
"I never said that."
"Right, it was the 'evil one', anyway they believed me and let me go to begin my Mata Hari impersonation."
"They let you go just like that?"
"I told you they believed me and, well, I've still got their device stuck in my neck."
"Device?" Angel stilled, his memory of how to smile was now being tested by his urge to kill, an urge that had been as consistent as his need to find Cordelia since he crawled out from his steel coffin.
"Yeah, some sort of lie-detector, mind reading thing-a-m-jig. It's supposed to tell if I change sides again or something." Cordelia shrugged, blowing the whole subject off.
"And now...." Angel tried to force the violent feelings down, but he was tired and the hunger was gnawing at his insides the hunger to kill and feed, he really wanted to kill every being in Wolfram & Hart's building. He really wished that the amazing joy at seeing and knowing that Cordy was with him wasn't contradicted by the knowledge that she had been held prisoner and tortured. He wanted to relish being in her presence, but at that moment he would almost rather be on a rampage.
"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt and pretty easy to beat." Cordelia patted the vampire's cheek in a soft gesture. "I.." Her hand dropped down and her eyes shifted away from the vampire but not before Angel saw the lie. Angel knew he was going to kill something soon. The only problem was the only person near him was the one that he needed to be alive. "Cordy." Angel tried to make his voice soft and encouraging, but by the way Cordelia jumped, he realized that he must've been louder and harsher than he meant.
Cordelia gave a swift smile. "It's wasn't that bad, really. This thing, the 'torture' pretty lame in my book, wouldn't even call it that. It was uncomfortable, okay, I'll give them that, but that's it. Angel," she smiled again to the still vampire. "The Powers weren't completely ignorant of what was happening. Gave me some visions, not of the helpless, but quick instructions- 'How to use your power under torture'. Well, they didn't that of course, because I wasn't being tortured, just being uncomfortable," Cordelia added quickly. She really didn't like the way the vampire was turning into stone. He was going to erupt soon. "Angel, I'm fine, it wasn't that bad, the Powers stepped into to help, okay, it may have been because they were getting worried that I'd fall for Polly's crap about the Powers being bad employers and such. I mean, they are but, who's complaining." Cordelia sat on the bed. "It worked and I'm outta of there."
"And when they find out that you're not working for them." Angel finally moved, turning to the young woman.
"Who cares? We're back to where we always been, us against them, but it's us Angel, we're together, so everything will fine. Now tell me- what happened to you, why you haven't been eating and where is Connor? Have you seen him since you got loose and where did you get loose from? Tell me." patting the spot next to her.
"Cordy, they just didn't talk you into working for them. What did they do, exactly? What torture." Angel paused his rage was pushing him to react, but Cordelia's soft hand on the bed was beckoning to him. Angel took a deep breath, a useless exercise but a needed one. It gave the vampire a moment to calm down and think. Cordy or the rage, as soon as Angel thought out his choices he sat next to Cordelia. Cordelia was always the better choice. She was what made him able to come back from his watery grave with a remembrance of who he was.
"Angel, it was nothing, really." Cordelia sighed. Angel had sat down, but he was still way to on edge. He wasn't going to let her just stop there. She sighed again. "They kept me in this white room and flooded me with visions," Cordelia paused. "They weren't visions in the 'visions sense' memories would be the best description but they weren't really real." She glanced up at Angel's puzzled expression. " Nuts and bolts, it was the whole shock the mouse when it goes for cheese, pretty soon the mouse hates the cheese. " She shook her head again at Angel's expression. "1, 2, 3, now, -they forced imagines of my happy times, all superficial and bitchy- my glory times, whatever, were accompanied by waves of pleasure- the helpless, you, everything else, reality- pain. Get it now? They wanted me to hate the memories that caused me pain, duh you and the mission."
"I cause you pain."
Cordelia settled back and bit her lip to stop her yell of frustration. "Angel, I'm not a mouse, I can figure out that I like the cheese, even want the cheese no matter the burst of pain and you know what I can also figure out how to get the cheese with a minimum of fuss. If I were the mouse that Wolfram & Hart seem to think I was, I'd have gotten rid of the visions before, but I didn't. Geez, being a human seer was worse than any pain they shot through me. Why would they think that, Evil Miss Moppet said she knew my history, you know my history, do you think I'm some bimbo that would trade her soul in for money or power. I mean sure, I was bitchy, materialistic, still do like the finer things but does that make me ready to turn to the darkside? Jeez, even at my worst, I don't think I'd give up my soul" Cordelia sat back, thinking. "No, I wouldn't. I might've whined a lot, but I wouldn't of. Why was it so easy for them to think it? Nevermind, dumb question, who cares, I'm home, what do I care what they think. I played them and won -I'm home."
"Cordy, I cause you pain." Angel wasn't asking a question, he pushed himself off the bed.
Cordelia stared her eyes hooded; she was about to go ballistic. Did the vampire ever listen to her? "Yes, my life since it intertwined with yours has caused me some pain, you on occasion have caused me great pain," Cordelia reached out and yanked the vampire back as he attempted to move further away.
"However, you have also given me happiness, family, a sense of purpose.and.well a lot of stuff."
"Cordy?"
"Angel, this is stupid. I'm here, I want to be here, I'm HERE and I've been waiting, very patiently, I think for you to tell me what happened to you. NOW sit and start talking," yanking harder on the vampire.
"Cordy, I .." Angel stumbled back on the bed.
"Angel, tell me, now." Cordelia glared. "I said I was fine. Angel, it's you turn. And don't tell me you're all right. Your son attacked you and imprisoned you, you can't be all right with that."
Angel leaned in and tried to decipher Cordelia's look, trying to find blame, but all he could see was anger at him. He almost would've rather seen the blame. Guilt for putting it there he could handle, but he never knew what to do when Cordelia was mad at him, except try to figure out what she wanted and do it. He moved back a little and closed his eyes; at least this time he knew what she wanted. "Actually, I am all right, for the most part. I understand why he did it."
"Well, I don't." Cordelia started to get up from the bed. "You'll were going to the movies. He was okay. I talked to you, everything was okay and then in a mere few hours everything blew up? Angel, I don't understand." The previous anger had left her, now she was just lost.
Angel ached at the sight he tugged at the hand that had he was holding. He couldn't remember if she put it there are if he did. He really didn't care. Angel pulled Cordelia back beside him. "It was after he found out that I went to see Holtz." He paused at Cordelia's look. "Please, don't tell me I told you so," he asked softly.
"I wouldn't." Cordelia straightened. "But I did." She mumbled under breath.
"I heard that." Angel couldn't help but let a small smile form. Cordelia was safe and no longer angry and she was with him. His exhaustion, hunger and rage were fading as he began to trust those facts.
"Hmmph." Cordelia scrunched up her face. "But he read the letter that Holtz gave you. He was okay."
"Holtz is dead. Connor thinks I killed him."
Cordelia started to leap up again. Angel pulled her. "You didn't," she said as she settled back down. "Though, good riddance." She grumbled.
"But, he does think it and he was waiting at the cliffs. We fought and.."
"You let him win."
"I.he and Justine placed me in a metal box and dumped it in the sea."
Cordelia slowly blinked at the vampire, all confusion over Connor's actions left as she tried to speak through the imagines the vampire's words invoked. She took a deep breath and tried again. "You were in the ocean, sunk in a coffin for a month and Connor did this, is that what you're telling me?" Her steady gaze searching Angel's face for hints of the vampire's feelings.
"Yes." Angel turned away from the all-knowing hazel eyes.
"You've been totally alone in an underwater casket for a month, no food, no idea when you were getting out, nothing no hope, no nothing, is that what you're telling me," Cordelia broke from the vampire's grip turning quickly in front of him kneeling down and grasping his face forcing him to look at her. "Is that what you're telling me," Cordelia quietly demanded.
"Yes," Angel tried to look away again from the tears that were forming in Cordy's eyes.
A soft cry choked in Cordelia's throat as she curled her body up placing herself in the vampire's lap and hugging tightly to him, pulling his head to her chest. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, murmuring into Angel's hair. "I' m so sorry," she repeated hugging his cold body even tighter.
Angel gave himself a moment, then he pulled up disentangling Cordelia from his body, he winced at the loss but continued in his actions. He settled her beside him. "I'm okay, Cordy and I did have hope." He brushed back her hair. "I did and Cordelia you also were alone."
Cordelia shook her head. "No not the same thing. The Powers didn't leave me. I knew they were out there just like I knew that you would save me. You were really alone." She reached back for the vampire.
Angel caught her hands. "Cordy, I didn't save you, you saved yourself."
Cordelia scrunched up her face considering the vampire's statement. "I did, didn't I, wow, what a first. But still if I hadn't you would've."
"Yes." Angel leaned into Cordelia. "And Cordy, I wasn't alone, I knew you would save me and you did."
Cordelia's expression darkened. "How? It's my entire fault. Oh god." Cordelia scrunched up her body into itself hugging at her knees, no longer listening to the vampire. "All my fault." She repeated.
Angel leaned in tugging at Cordelia's face, pulling it up to his. "It's not your fault, Cordy, there's no way it's your fault."
Cordy brushed at her tears, nodding vigorously. "It is. I wanted you to go to the cliff. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could I've been so dumb, then worse I said yes to evil Skip. I should've been there. I should've never said to go there. You were alone. If I'd been there- Connor wouldn't- It wouldn't have happened, not like that, you being all alone. I shouldn't have told you to meet me, not for..it was ..It's was my fault."
"Cordy," Angel pushed up her face to his," It was stupid for you to ask me to meet you? You said it was important, it was about you're feelings for me, that was stupid?" Angel asked tentatively.
"YES." Cordelia tried to jump up but Angel's hands kept her close to him. "Stupid. Let me go." She pushed. Angel released his hands quickly, just staring at the now pacing young woman. Wesley was wrong, she wasn't trying to convince him to betray his mission, it was worse- she was destroying his hope. He glanced up at the circling woman her hands again flailing in the air, words tumbling in a torrent from her lips. He started to try to listen, trusting his greatest fear.
"Stupid. I mean, Angel, come on, it was stupid. 'Hi, Angel, it's me," mimicking holding a phone, " I'm I.need.want.it's important.well.um' well, DUH, can I say 'Hello, what am I- sixteen again," Cordelia threw down her hands and stared at Angel. "Shoot, I was so stuttery pathetic, it wasn't even sixteen, when I was sixteen, I knew." Cordelia twirled, her hands back in the air, only to settle her gaze again on the vampire. "Actually, it's your fault, I knew better before."
Angel stared not sure at all what was going on, maybe he should've listened to Wesley. "My fault."
"Yeah, before I knew you, I knew what was suppose to happen, you waited, the guy tells you that he loves you first, at some really nice beautiful place, expensive is the best, you don't tell first that's bad- I knew that at one time. I did. I didn't tell that boy in the eighth grade, Xander, Groo, never told any one, but no, you I had to plan this STUPID romantic situation where I declare my STUPID love. If I hadn't been so STUPID, you wouldn't have been on that STUPID cliff to be dropped in the ocean by your son. STUPID all of it."
Angel allowed Cordelia to pace and circle the room one more time, but when she gasped for a new breath to start ranting again, he moved. In an instant Cordelia was back on the bed with Angel's arms and legs pinning her securely.
"What do you think you are you doing?" Cordelia glared up at the smiling vampire over her.
"Trying to listen. If I understand you correctly you wanted me to meet you so that you could tell me that you loved me, right?"
"No. I wanted to see how you felt about me telling you that I loved you. Let me up." She pushed at Angel.
"No. So the important part wasn't you saying that you loved me, but my reaction to it."
"Angel, this isn't funny, let me up now."
"Cor, don't you want to do what my reaction would've been."
"I know what your stupid answer would've been, that's what's so stupid about the whole thing."
Angel leaned up. "You do?"
Cordelia pushed herself up further. "Yes, of course I do, okay, maybe not right away, or.whatever, I knew that when Groo told me that I loved you and that you loved me that he wasn't necessarily wrong- that's why he left."
"He was smarter than I thought."
"Leave him alone, he was sweet and he liked you."
"Sorry, he was a paragon."
Cordelia narrowed her eyes. "I should've seen it earlier, you're just swirling with major jealously issues."
"Ha, you were jealous of Darla."
Cordelia jerked leaning close into Angel, her eyes' narrowing into dangerous glints of brown steel. "No. I was scared at how she made you act. She made you screw up. She was an evil dead bitch that tried to kill me- Groo was a bit naïve sure, but he was a hero, good and very buff. Not a good comparison at all. Groo was a keeper, Darla a thing from hell." Pushing away from the vampire's chest.
"But you didn't keep him, because you loved me." Angel said quickly deciding that his mention of Darla had been a really bad idea. He hadn't believed that Cordy had been jealous of the other woman in the first place. Clearly, Angel still wasn't great at the conversation-teasing thing.
"I'm beginning to wonder why."
"Cor," Angel pulled the woman back on the bed cradling her body over his. "What were you going to tell me on the cliff." He urged with his touch and pleading eyes.
Cordelia's glare softened, her hand gently caressing the angular features of the vampire's face. "I was going to stammer and fidget and tell you all the reasons that I couldn't love you and end with that I did, truly, really, and always and the big finish would be that you would have to just deal with it if you didn't love me back."
Angel smiled rubbing his hands down Cordelia's back.
"Well, what would've you said." Cordelia leaned up.
"I thought you knew already."
"Angel." Cordelia leaned up further.
Angel pulled her down. "I don't know. Ow." He flinched as Cordelia smacked him on the head.
"Yeah, right big baby vampire, like that really hurt."
"I didn't know and don't hit me again. " Angel whined and smoothly readjusted Cordelia's body over his. "I'd hoped that you asked me to meet you there to tell me that you loved me or at least were beginning to think of me that way, or at the very least Groo had turned out to be jerk. I just hoped Cor, I didn't have any words or thoughts planned because it seemed too presumption that I could be that happy or too hopeful or just not possible that the amazing woman that I loved-loved me back. I'm not something that deserves happiness, obviously, look what happened."
Cordelia pulled away, her tender touch never quite leaving the vampire. She sat beckoning Angel to follow. "Angel, you have the right to expect happiness, you have the right to be hopeful, you are a wonderful, loving." Cordelia lifted her brows "mampire," she chuckled. "You are the best, the most honorable person I've ever met, you deserve happiness and love, you do, believe it."
Angel tentatively traced his finger along her cheek. "With you I can almost believe it." Leaning in close.
"You can, Angel." Cordelia smiled. "Angel, are you about to kiss me?"
Angel nodded leaning in closer brushing his lips gently against hers.
"Oh," Cordelia whispered. Angel cupped her face bringing it even closer. Cordelia reached up her fingers running along the nape of Angel's neck, her lips parting at the insistence of Angel's. The gentleness of Angel's kiss became more demanding. His tongue eagerly caressed Cordelia's taking the kiss deeper. Cordelia turned her body into Angel's tightening embrace. Her hands slid down to stroke along the breadth of Angel's shoulders. Her finger's clutched on his forearm's as she gently pulled away from the kiss, her lips still lightly touching Angel's, small breaths and words brushed at them. "Not too happy, though." She sighed, pulling further away.
Angel cradled Cordelia face, his dark eyes holding Cordelia's, his thumbs gently massaging at the smooth skin under her neck. He nodded, knowing she was right. He placed a soft kiss on Cordelia's forehead. "I love you."
"I love you." Cordelia curled into Angel's lap, resting her head in the crook of his neck. Angel held her close. "It will be okay, Angel, we'll explain to Connor that you didn't kill Holtz, we'll get him back. Cordelia leaned up. "Who did?"
"I don't know, Wesley said that Justine told Connor that I did. He believed her."
Cordelia leaned even further back. "Lying bitch, she probably did it.wait Wesley? You've talked to Wesley. You know, he's working for Wolfram & Hart. He was there with Lilah, another lying bitch. God, they're so many of them. Eek."
"I know.about Wesley, I mean, well the other too."
Cordelia scooted back further staring at the vampire. "Angel?"
"That was the plan after he was released from the hospital."
"Wesley's been playing 007?"
"OO7?"
"James Bond, British super spy." Cordelia's expression of surprise changed to a scowl." He just left me up in that room. What's up with that?"
"He didn't know until yesterday and told me, he also told me that you were supposedly all ready to betray me."
"Hmmph. So, you were testing me with all that 'where have you been'. Her eyes narrowed. "You didn't' trust me."
"I did, Cor, I did," Angel pulled the woman to him. "I was just scared AND you had been tortured...that's why Wesley was concerned, not me."
"Look, Buster, if we're going to love each other, you are going to have to get over penchant for believing that you don't deserve good things to happen. Broodiness can be sexy, gloom and doom, isn't. Remember that. I can't be spending ALL my time reassuring you. Maybe, I need a little reassurance to- you ever think about that. Umm." She peered at the vampire.
Angel's hands went back to cradling Cordy's face. "I do trust you, I do love you never doubt that."
"If you don't I won't. I'm actually a very secure person. Unlike, it seems-you." Angel heard the minuscule catch in her quick statement and saw a shadow flit briefly over her wide confident stare.
Angel brushed back her hair to get a better look at her eyes. He stared remembering what Wesley said- that Cordelia was once a self-absorbed spoiled teenager. Maybe, but Angel also saw the young woman hidden behind the quips and superficiality, the one that had the capacity to love with all her heart. Angel knew that that young woman hadn't appeared overnight or even over the last few years, she had been in there all the while waiting for someone to give that love to, someone she could trust that would protect it. Angel smiled, dazed that Cordy chose to trust him with the gift of her love.
"I promise you, Cor, I love you for always and I always will protect it and you." Finally really knowing what to say to the young woman that at times could so confuse him but always amazed him.
"Silly, I know that." This time there was no catch or dimness in her bright smile. Cordelia scrunched her brows. "Angel, Wesley's been playing at being the bad guy for you, but you still haven't forgiven him have you?"
"Cordy, I." Angel's eyes trailed down to the bed avoiding her gaze.
"It's all right, Angel," Cordelia gently lifted his head back towards her. "Everything comes with enough time, but he is working on our side. How'd he know about Connor?"
"Connor told him, he's been being held at Wolfram & Hart."
"Connor was working for them? That explains why he's so screwed up. They manipulated him. Why didn't Wesley say anything before?
Angel shook his head. "Connor acted on his own.with Justine's help. They took him later. Wesley wasn't told about any of it until after I might get free, just like they didn't tell him about you."
"Wesley's not very good at this undercover stuff, he's had months. Pfft."
"Cordelia,"
"I'm just saying..." Cordy shook her head. "What have they done to Connor and why haven't you rescued him yet."
"They haven't done anything to him, they want him to trust Wesley, so do I."
"Because, you do trust Wesley. Well, is it working?"
"Wesley says slowly but he's not anyway near to trusting me."
"He will be, Angel, I promise." Cordelia got up off the bed biting at her lip and rubbing her neck. "Angel, I could go back. Between Wesley and I, we'll convince Connor and bring him home."
Angel's eyes centered on the area of skin Cordelia was rubbing, his rage was building again. "You're not going back."
"Angel, they could still believe me. I beat it before and.." Cordelia gasped clutching her head screaming as her body flew smashing into the far wall.
Angel was off the bed in an instant grabbing for Cordelia. He was cradling the unconscious woman when Fred and Gunn busted into his room.
Continue on...