Title: What's the Difference Between Me and You?
Author: AngelBaby
Posted: 04-12-2003
Email:
Rating: PG-13 language
Category:
Content:
Summary:
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: I don't know if anyone remembers this story. I'm sure there are a few of you out there. I was on again, off again with the posting and I got too busy to finish it. I recently abandoned it. But try as I might...I just couldn't do it.
So, here I am again. I am determined to finish this story. (formerly Angel/Angelus, what's the difference?) I started it, might as well keep going right?
Truth is, I did and do enjoy writing this story. It's the longest one I've ever written so far. It's just fun to write. I really enjoy writing Angelus, cause you know he's just overall an interesting character to write for. And I like the plot, so I promise you I do plan to finish it.
This is a new revised version. So if you read it before, a few things might have changed. Some things were added, some things were removed. Nothing too drastic though. It just needed a little cleaning up in my opinion. And if you haven't read it before then I hope you do enjoy it.
Originally this was a challenge I posted way back when, but no one took it so I just decided to do it on my own since I really wanted to see this story done.
Challenge: Alright, here's a little run down.
*Early Season 3. Back in the good old days.
*Something goes haywire and Angel & Angelus end up seperating into two seperate people. Good twin, Bad twin type of deal.
*Up to you how they serperate. W&H, a spell gone wrong, a demon, etc.
*Somehow, again up to you, Angelus can't hurt anyone. Not even a fly. Think Spike with a chip. He tries to hurt anyone, he gets a pain like no other. Which of course he will discover immediately. He can still think evily, but he doesn't have to turn all Angel on us. Where would the fun be in that?
*While Angel isn't exactly comfortable with his demon hanging around he doesn't exactly want to kill him. Like Willow and Vamp Willow.
Must haves:
*A training session between A/C.
*The line "I would if I could but I can't so I won't". Umm...Don't ask
*Angelus showing an interest in Cordelia.
*Angel showing a dislike in Angelus showing an interest in Cordelia.(Did you get that?)
*Angel admitting his feelings for Cordelia. Cause that's always fun.
*Angel and Angelus fighting, teasing each other, etc.
Optional:
*Connor
*The Scoobies, a scoobie.
*Lorne & Caritas
*a vision
Everything in italics is what Angelus is thinking.
Feedback: Yes Please!Part 9
"Faith!?!?!"
That was pretty much the reaction from Angel, Cordelia and Wesley. They stared at her with wide eyes and open mouths. She stood in the entrance of the hotel, not sure if she should go in further or go back the way she came.
"Yeah! Hey, listen. Not that two Angel's is a bad thing...But, umm, could someone explain to me what's going on?" She gestured between Angel and Angelus.
"How about you tell us what's going on before-" Wesley couldn't finish his sentence because Gunn pushed him out of the way and went to hug Faith.
"Girl, is that you?" He asked with a wide smile on his face.
"Gunn? Oh my God! How long's it been?" Her smile matched his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They pulled back and gave each other a once-over.
"Whatcha been up to?"
"Women's State Penitentiary," She gave a shrug and looked down at her feet.
"Faith," He sighed. "Girl, I thought you knew better than that!" Gunn crossed his arms and shook his head.
"You know how it is. Shit happens-"
"Well shit shouldn't happen Faith! You know that."
"Yeah, I know. But I'm on the straight and narrow now. Scouts honor!" She put her hand up and gave a smile. Gunn couldn't help but smile back.
Fred looked at them both with a confused and annoyed glare. She had read about Faith in a chart Cordelia made. Wasn't this the same girl who tried to kill Angel, knocked out Cordelia, and tortured Wesley. She just didn't get it.
"Hate to break up the touching reunion, but may I ask...What the HELL are you doing here? How are you here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be in prison, for what, another few months? Years?" Cordelia gave her a cold stare. Faith flinched a bit, but didn't let it show.
"Nice to see you too, Cordelia. I got out on, and get this, good behavior. I wasn't gonna come here. No offense, I just didn't really want to. But I kinda had to."
"What do you mean, you had to?" Wesley asked, stepping forward.
"Angel, you remember signing those papers when I was first put in. About my parole and all that? You know, how I'm supposed to stay with you until I can get a steady job and a place of my own-" Faith looked between Angel, Cordelia and Wesley. Realization dawned on Angel's face as he remembered offering her a place to stay once she got out. Cordelia stared at him through narrowed eyes.
"You did what?" Cordelia asked in a low, menacing tone.
"Cord-" Angel tried to offer a smile but she continued to stare.
"You did what?" Her voice got a bit louder.
"Oh shit," Angelus muttered under his breath with a smile on his face.
"You shut up!" Cordelia pointed to Angelus but never took her eyes off Angel.
"You. Office. Now" She walked into Wesley's office and leaned against the door.
"We'll be just a minute. Don't go anywhere!" Angel told her hastily.
"Well?" Cordelia tapped her foot impatiently. Angelus couldn't help but whistle the funeral march as Angel passed by. Angel looked up and glared at him but kept on walking.
"Anyways," Faith said as she turned away from Cordelia and Angel. "Gunn we gonna catch up or what? Maybe you can fill me in on what happened with the two Angels?" Faith gestured to Angelus.
"Angelus" He said quietly.
"What?"
"My name is Angelus."
"Holy shit! No way!" She replied, not believing him.
"Yes way! I don't think we were formerly introduced. But I do remember you," He said with a sly smile on his face. Faith smirked and leaned forward.
"Yeah, well I'm pretty memorable," She said smiling.
"I have that effect too."
"We'll have to try that out sometime," She winked at him.
"Yes, well! Let's not get carried away now! Faith, please come with me. I think you and I need to talk a bit, wouldn't you agree?" Wesley said interrupting them.
Faith looked expectantly at Gunn, then at Wesley.
"We'll talk later. You go do your thing," Gunn moved her a bit towards the other man.
"Sure Wes! Whatever," Faith said blowing out a breath.
"Come with me," Wesley led her outside to the garden.
"Hey, man! What was up with that?" Gunn stepped up to Angelus.
"What are you talkin about?" Angelus flopped down the steps, rubbing his eyes.
"That whole thing with you and Faith. What was that about?"
"Oh that? That was nothing. We were just playing around."
"I don't even care about that. Just leave her alone," Angelus looked up at him and rolled his eyes.
"Number one, we were just kidding. Number two, she was playing along. And finally, number three...Even if we weren't I don't think you're involvment would matter either way," Angelus leaned forward and put his head in his hands.
"Hey, you ok?" Gunn ignored his comments, eyeing him carefully.
"Yeah, yeah. I don't know if anyone is gonna survive that-" He said, gesturing towards Angel and Cordelia.
"But who ever makes it out first, tell them I went upstairs to sleep. And...Yeah, that I went upstairs to sleep," He shut his eyes and opened them again. Fatigue was catching up with him and soon.
"Are ya sure you don't want us to get Angel? 'Cause we could," Fred offered timidly.
"No. I'm good," He made his way upstairs, stumbling on a few steps but making it to the top.
Gunn and Fred just watched him go. With a shake of his head, Gunn looked towards the girl in front of him.
"Hey, you hungry?"
"Kind of," She said with a small smile.
"Tacos?" Fred nodded in response.
"Alright, let's go then."
***Wesley's Office
"Cordelia, listen to me-"
"No Angel! You listen to me" She backed him up into a chair and stood over him.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Cordelia began to pace in front of him.
"The door's open," Cordelia looked at him a moment then walked over, shutting closed with a bang. When she turned around he was sitting still, rubbing his forehead and clutching his stomach a bit with the other hand.
"Are you alright?" Concern evident in her voice.
"I'm fine," He straightened up a bit and gave a small smile. She returned his smile.
"You're sure?"
"I'm fine Cordy."
"Ok," Cordelia walked up to him and smacked his shoulder.
"Oww, what was that for?"
"Ok, first of all. What were you thinking when you signed those papers? Why didn't you tell me? We don't need this right now. We already have enough with Angelus here! At least him I know he can't do anything. But how can we be so sure Faith won't try anything. How do we know she wasn't sent from Wolfram and Hart...Again!?!" Cordelia tried to calmed herself down.
"We don't know," Angel looked down then up at her shining eyes.
"We have Connor to worry about. What if she tries something?" Cordelia sat on the desk and looked at her hands. Angel got up and went to hold her hands.
"Don't worry, alright? We'll keep a close eye on her. I won't let her do anything," He lifted her chin, causing her to look him in the eye.
"I promise," He said a bit more firmly. Cordelia nodded and tried to look back down but Angel wouldn't let her. He leaned forward and brushed his lips gently against her forehead. They both pulled back and looked into each other's eyes.
"I won't let her do anything," He whispered. Suddenly it felt like they had both been jolted with an electric current. They both felt the need to be closer. When they were at Cordelia's apartment, Angel had just wanted to reach out and touch her. To hold her and comfort her. And now he could.
Their faces inched closer until he could feel her hot breath hitting his face. Cordelia looked down at her hands that were slowly intertwining with his. Angel brought them up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand. The gesture was so sweet, it made Cordelia's heart clench tightly in her chest.
"Angel," His name was a whisper on her lips. He slowly leaned forward and tentively touched his lips to hers. She closed her eyes responding to the feelings he was creating inside her.
Angel pulled back, his eyes still closed. He put his head down trying to figure out what he was feeling. He felt Cordelia's hand cup his face. He kissed her palm then leaned in again, kissing just as softly, his tongue sneaking out to taste her bottom lip. Their hands were in Cordelia's lap. Their fingers were laced together and the kiss intensifyed.
"Mmmph," Angel moaned into her mouth, pushing her up against the desk. He settled between her legs and brought her hands up to wrap around his neck. His hands stayed at her waist, grounding her as if she would dissappear any second.
"What are we doing?" Came Angel's low, husky voice. Cordelia tried to form words but found her voice failing her. She swallowed a bit then tried to answer again.
"I don't know..." It came out in a breathy whisper, barely able to hear but he heard her fine. Angel leaned forward again, reclaiming her lips again and again.
"We should probably-"
"Yeah, we probably should," They both said between kisses.
"I don't want-"
"Neither do I!" Angel brought his hands up to tangle in her hair. He couldn't get enough of her and he didn't understand why. One minute they had been arguing, somewhat...And now? Now? Now they were making out on Wesley's desk.
"Oh god..." Cordelia moved her head, letting Angel rain kisses down her jaw and neck. She took in gulps of air, trying to fill her lungs again. She tightened her grip on Angel, trying to figure out what was happening. 'I can't do this. I shouldn't be doing this. Not now!'
"Angel?" Cordelia tried to push Angel away but he tightened his hold on her.
"Angel!" Cordelia pushed till he was off of her. He stumbled back confused. Cordelia got off the desk and smoothed down her skirt.
"Cord-"
"I need to go!" She was about to walk out but he stopped her.
"Wait! Where are you going?"
"I...I need to go!"
"Wait! Cordy, come here," Angel pulled her back and looked into her eyes. Something was wrong with this. They had just been having an unbelievable kiss when all of a sudden she stopped.
"What's wrong?"
"This!"
"What?" Angel asked, letting go of her.
"This! You and me," She said gesturing between them. "This is wrong. We shouldn't be doing this. Especially not now!"
"What are you talking about?" Cordelia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them again and continued.
"Angel, this is you and me we're talking about!"
"I kinda noticed."
"Look, this just doesn't work." She tried to move again but he still wouldn't let her go.
"It was working a minute ago!" He put his hands on her shoulders and held her in place.
"I was caught up in the moment. I need to get out of here!"
"Tell me why this doesn't work?" His eyes pleaded with her.
"Because it's you and me!" She shouted. As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted it.
"I'm just saying...You and I both know neither of us have the best track record with relationships."
"That has nothing to do with-"
"And what about Buffy. You can't tell me you don't love her."
"I never said I didn't. But if you're asking me if I still want to be with Buffy...I don't," He stepped up to her and looked down at her face.
"I don't believe you" She whispered.
"Just because you don't believe it doesn't make it any less true," She almost wanted to believe him but a little voice in the back of her head, that was quickly getting louder, kept telling her that he didn't love her and he never would, not like that anyway.
"We can't do this. Not now, with everything that's going on."
"I need you now. I need you especially with everything that's going on."
"Give me one good reason I should believe you."
"You want one reason?" His voice raised a bit as he tried to calm himself down. He was beginning to get frustrated with the whole thing. All Cordelia could do was nod and try not to lose control.
"I love you!"
"Two reasons?" She tried but only succeeded in frustrating Angel even further.
"Cordelia," Angel gave a sigh and closed his eyes.
"I can't do this, alright? Let's just pretend this never happened. Then everything will be alright." The voice in her head kept getting louder! And the louder it got, she realized the voice belonged to Buffy, Xander, Willow, her parents, Wesley, Gunn. Everybody was screaming at her to dream on and forget about even trying anything with the manpire in front of her because it was never gonna happen.
"Why don't you give me one good reason why?" Cordelia looked wide-eyed and searched her mind for possible answers.
"Uhhh...B-b-because...ummm. Because...I don't love you! Because I don't love you!" She couldn't believe what she was saying or why she was saying it.
"What?" Angel whispered.
"I love you, just not like that... Look, Angel, why do you want to ruin everything. I love where we are now. You're my best friend. I can tell you anything. You're-You're like a brother to me," She winced at the last words herself.
"You think of me like a brother?" Angel hated the last word the most.
"Yes, I think of you like a brother. I mean, we're family, right? That would be like incest or something," Cordelia couldn't look at him anymore. She knew she was lying, but she couldn't do this. There was too much pain behind love and if it didn't work out, she couldn't take it if she lost him. She would just put her feelings aside and save them both the pains.
"We're not related!" Angel said with bewilderment.
"I know but the brotherly feelings are still there!"
"I don't believe you"
"Just because you don't believe it, it doesn't make it any less true," She said, repeating his previous words. Angel stared at her long and hard, then turned and started to walk out.
"Where are you going?" She asked, still looking down.
"I can't stand here and listen to this," He said in a low tone.
"Angel, I-"
"You can't tell me that, that was a 'brotherly' kiss. I felt what you felt Cordy," He leaned forward and she thought for a second about damning the voice and letting him win. But before she could lean up further he pulled away quickly and walked towards the door. He turned and looked at her.
"But, you know what? Don't worry about it. This never happened and I never said I loved you. Maybe you're right, maybe I still love Buffy. Maybe the only reason I thought I loved you was because we're so close and we see each other everyday. I obviously got my feelings for you mixed up. I'm sorry Cor!" He walked out and went to take care of his son. He knew everything he had just said was as true as what Cordelia had said, but if she didn't want to admit anything then why should he. Might as well save them both the pain and forget about it.
Cordelia watched him leave. Her heart broke at what he had said. She closed the door and clenched the edge of the desk, it being her only support. Sobs formed quietly in her throat. As the tears spilled only one thought came to mind...'What did I just do?'
***
"So, Wes! What did you want to talk about?" Faith walked around the garden, swinging her arms back and forth, looking up the stone walls.
"Where to start," Wes looked at his feet then up at her and just stayed quiet as he observed her every move.
"I guess I should start with I'm sorry-" Faith stopped and looked back at him.
"I should as well."
"What are you sorry for?" She cocked her head to the side and listened for his response.
"I was never really a good watcher to you Faith. I never talked with you, I never asked if anything was wrong. You were my responsibility and I failed you," Wesley lowered his head.
"No, Wes. You didn't fail me. If anything, failed you. I was your slayer and all you wanted to do was make sure I was a good one. And how did I repay you? I went bad. Killed a guy. Joined the mayor. Tried to kill Angel. Not to mention torture you for hours-"
"Yes, I remember quite vividly."
"I'm sorry Wesley. You have to believe me. I know you got no reason to. But I'm telling the truth. I am so sorry," Tears formed in her eyes. She turned away not wanting him to see her this way.
"I suppose we both made some regrettable mistakes. I want to try this again. With you staying here, which I gather will be for some time, I think it would be best if we figured something out. I am only worried about one thing. I'm not sure if I can trust you," Wesley had been a little uncomfortable being this close to her when he knew she could easily kill him in an instant. It was something about her eyes and the way she said she was sorry that put him at ease a bit.
"Hey! I don't blame you! I know I messed up...pretty badly! And I know I'm going to have to earn my way around here. I'm willing to do that. I'm not gonna mess up again Wes. I promise...My promises are probably worth shit to you, huh?" She chuckled a bit trying to ease the tension.
"You do anything to hurt anyone here I will personally come after you myself. Do you hear me?" His voice was hard and firm.
"Yeah, yeah I gotcha!" She nodded at him.
"Alright. Come on, I'm sure Angel can explain what's going on." They both walked into the lobby to see Angel pacing back and forth, patting his son's back.
"You guys are just full of surprises, aren'tcha?" Faith's vision went back and forth between Angel and Wesley.
"As I mentioned, I'm sure Angel can explain what's going on," Wesley said, looking at her helplessly.
Part 10
With her head in her hands, Cordelia sat at her desk thinking about what she had said and why she had said it. The tears still fell, but silently. She stayed like that for a few minutes before coming to a conclusion.
"This is Angel. ANGEL! You don't love him. He's your co-worker, your friend. It's never gonna happen. It's never gonna happen. You don't love him. You don't love him!" She rambled on out loud, pacing through out the small space.
"But it's Angel," She whispered the last part to herself before slumping down onto the nearest chair. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, stood up tall, and wiped the tears away.
"Come on Cor! You're stronger than that. Don't let this get to you," She said it out loud then began it like a mantra in her head. She made her way out of the office and saw Angel and Faith playing with Connor. They were both smiling and laughing. She never thought she could hate his smile so much. He looked up at her but gave an emotionless glance before looking back down at the child in his arms.
"Just had to twist the knife, didn't you?" She said it so softly not even Angel's vamp hearing picked it up. that or he just chose to ignore the comment altogether. Faith saw Cordelia and stood up.
"Cor, you think you and me could talk?"
"Talk?"
"I really wanna clear the air with you. I know I owe you a lot of 'I'm sorrys' and if you could just hear me out-" Cordelia held up her hands to stop her.
"Yeah, yeah we'll talk. Just not right now, I have a few things to get done. But we will talk!" Cordelia offered a small smile of sincerity. She actually wanted to hear what the other woman had to say, but she couldn't at that moment. She kept giving side-glances at Angel only to see him doing the same. Faith noticed this and gave a shrug.
"Hey, whenever you're free!" Cordelia nodded to her and walked up the stairs. Once she was gone Faith turned towards Angel.
"So what's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"Between you and C?" She said motioning towards the steps.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Angel got up and went to put Connor in his baby seat.
"Yeah, ok!" She said with a roll of her eyes.
"Faith, it's none of your business."
"Just asking," She put up her hands defensively.
"We come bearing gifts!" Gunn announced as he came in carrying bags of food.
"Smells good," Faith made her way over to rummage through the items. Fred gave her on off glance then went to play with Connor.
"Alright, who wanted tacos?"
***
Cordelia reached the top of the steps, intent on getting her things, going home to eat a pint of 'Chunky Monkey', get in full bath time, then try and get a good nights rest. Which was becoming more and more unlikely to happen! She walked down the hall and was about to enter Angel's room to gather her things, when she heard a moan. She turned the corner and saw Angelus sitting on the floor with his back to the wall and head hanging.
"Are you alright?" She made her way to him and crouched down. Angelus's head shot up and he got up quickly, wincing a little at the movements.
"Me? Yeah, yeah! I'm fine. I'm perfectly alright," He said hurriedly.
"Cut the macho guy routine. I've seen it enough," He stared at her a moment but couldn't take the pain anymore. He let out a sigh and slumped forward. She put his arms around her and helped him to the room.
"Lay down," He raised his eyebrows at her.
"Always knew you were the dominating type," He said through clenched teeth as he sat down on the edge. She rolled her eyes at him and helped him lay down. She observed him a bit and took in his appearance. He looked paler than usual, his hair was a mess, his eyes looked sullen and his whole frame shook slightly. She shook her head and gave a confused look.
"I don't get it," She said to herself but her whisper caught his attention.
"What?" He didn’t like her expression at the moment.
"I thought you and Angel were experiencing the same thing?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I was just down stairs and, granted he doesn't look a hundred percent but Angel looks ten times better than you!" He narrowed his eyes at her and sat up.
"Well that means one of two things! Either he’s hiding it very well and I'm some little pansy ass that can't take a little pain. Or I just got the shitty end of the deal. What the hell did I do to deserve this?" Cordelia raised an eyebrow but remained quiet.
"Oh yeah," They both remained quiet for a while.
"Are you gonna be alright?"
"Nothing I can't handle."
"Ok, well I'm gonna go," She was getting ready to walk out but he called her back.
"Wait, where are you going?"
"Away from here."
"What happened?"
"Nothing happened," She shuffled her feet a bit looking down.
"Ok, so then why were you crying?"
"I-I wasn't crying," She said quickly.
"Uh huh! So, your eyes are just red and puffy because they can be?"
"Allergies?" She gave a shrug but he didn't buy it.
"Cor-"
"Don't use that tone of voice with me. Angel uses that tone of voice with me!" She snapped.
"Okay. Breathe. Now, what happened?"
"What do you care?"
"I'm bored. Humor me," He scooted over as she sat next to him on the bed.
"I can't talk about this with you!" She made a face and was about to get up but he stopped her.
"Then who are you gonna talk to? Fred? Crazy taco person? I don't think so. Wesley? Long-boring-lecture-judgement-guy? Dont think so. Gunn? Don't think he would have the kind of advice you're looking for. Connor? Sure, the kid's a good listener, but I'm guessing you want some input and he just can't form words yet. There's Faith...But what with the whole trying to kill you thing-"
"And that doesn't apply to you?" She asked interrupting.
"Well, right now I can't! See, she still can."
"Oh! I see," She said sarcastically.
"Anyway, I would suggest Angel but I'm also going to assume he's the problem so he's pretty much out," She didn't say anything so he pressed on.
"What happened?" Cordelia took a deep breath then let it out slowly.
"I told Angel I thought of him like a brother."
"Oh...OH! Jesus, you don't think of ME like a brother...do you?" He moved back a little with a raised eyebrow. Cordelia turned her head sharply and gave him a shocked look.
"What!?! No! God no. No, no, no!" They both settled back down.
"Just checking. Anyway, Angel didn't like this too much, huh?"
"Well, let's see. It was right after I kissed him and he told me he loved me. WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?" She lost her temper and shouted at him.
"Oww!" He covered his ears.
"Sorry," She mumbled.
"First of all. Ouch! Like a brother? Why did you say something like that?" He shook his head and faced her.
"I just...I kept thinking that there was no way he could ever love me. That it would never work out. I could never lose him, especially like that," She said it just above a whisper. Angelus took one look at her and began laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" Her confused expression only caused him to laugh harder.
"This ISN'T funny!" Angelus held his sides as he tried to calm down. Cordelia smacked his shoulder trying to get him to stop.
"Oww! Sorry, it's just-" Another chuckle escaped but he regained control. "Do you know how stupid you sound?"
"Excuse me?"
"I just meant, how could you NOT know he loves you?"
"Yeah, sure,"
"Cordelia, I'm serious. He does love you."
"Even if he did, I messed things up. I told him I loved him like a brother. What am I supposed to do? Say 'Oh yeah, remember when I said that? Well guess what? I was just kidding!'. I don't think so!"
"Nothing you could say could make him stop loving you," She looked into his eyes and saw truth behind them.
"No, I can't. I can't be with him!"
"Why?" He was a little relieved but at the same time a little disappointed.
"I don't want to ruin what we have. All love would do is complicate things and bring pain and just a whole lot of bad! I don't want that!"
"You don't want to lose him?" An idea crept up and caught his attention.
"What have I been saying!" She saw a gleam in his eye and was a little worried as to what it meant. He gave a nod and looked up at her.
"I think I have a way where we can both get what we want," His smile could only be described as evil.
"What are you talking about?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"I want you," He stated simply.
"Excuse me?"
"Like you didn't know," She gave a shrug and he rolled his eyes.
"I want you. You want Soulboy. Am I right so far?"
"You want me?"
"What's not to want?" A blush crept up to her cheeks as he gave a smirk. She cleared her throat and motioned for him to go on.
"Right, so you had a point?"
"Eagerness? I like that. But yes, I do have a point. I was thinking you and I could do a little role playing-"
"What?"
"You want Angel but you don't want to lose him because of all the pain and suffering that's sure to come. Basically a spin off of the Buffy and Angel show. Why don't I be your Angel? And you...just be you?" By now he had gotten up and was advancing on her slowly.
"What the hell-" He stepped up and cupped her face with one hand while making trails over her body with the other.
"You are so beautiful. God, do you know how much I love you?" He whispered to her, leaning close. When she looked into his eyes she almost saw her Angel. Their lips were less then inches apart when he spoke again.
"See? I can be Angel," He stepped back and watched several emotions pass over her features.
"I..."
Was she actually considering this?
Part 11
"I...uhh," Cordelia looked around the room, anything to keep from looking into Angelus's eyes. She knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to resist him.
"Think about it Cor! You get what you want and I get what I want. It works out for everybody and nobody gets hurt," Cordelia put her hand to her forehead and shut her eyes while she shook her head. After a few seconds she put her hands off and pushed him back.
"No! No, I can't do that. Not to Angel," She walked around him and paced the length of the bed.
"You wouldn't be doing anything to Angel. You would be doing everything to me," He said with a smirk.
"He would find out," She hissed. She flopped down on the bed and put her head in her hands.
"How?"
"He knew when Wesley slept with a hooker! He's gonna know I slept with you," Cordelia mumbled. Angelus walked over and kneeled down in front of her. He lifted her chin so that she could look into his eyes.
"Don't worry about that, alright? I'll take care of it," He really didn't know how he could help the situation, but he would figure something out. His only objective was to get Cordelia to comply and from there just got with it.
"How you're going to manage that?" She looked into his eyes with a skeptical expression.
"I told you don't worry about it," He said in a firm tone.
"No, you know what? I am going to worry about it!" Cordelia stood up abruptly and caused Angelus to fall back. He didn't get up, he just propped himself up on his elbows and looked up at her with an amused face. He loved when she got like this, all demanding, the anger coming off of her in waves. He could hear her blood and heart racing faster, it was music to his ears.
"There is no way in hell I am going to jepordize my relationship with Angel. I love him and if he knew I was even considering this he would he would go ballistic. I refuse to be a part of your little game, so you can just forget it," She stood over him as she yelled at him through clenched teeth. She began to walk away, stepping over him. She reached out to grab the knob when she was turned around quickly and pushed up against the door.
"Tell me you don't want this. Tell me you don't need this," He whispered into her ear before leaning in closer. Cordelia was paralyzed. She didn't know what to do. Everything screamed at her to push him away but her body wouldn't respond. His lips descended on hers, softly at first but the pressure was quickly applied. The kiss was just like the first. His body pressed into hers trying to coax a reaction of some sort out of her. His tongue teased hers as his hands trailed up her thighs. Cordelia kept her arms at her sides and turned her head trying to get air into her lungs.
"Angel!" It came out in a breathy whisper. His name being the only the thing Cordelia could muster.
Angelus paused for a second. She wasn't thinking about him and he knew it, but that didn't change the fact that she was pinned up against the door because of him. And despite what she might say, he could smell and feel her reaction to him. He had her and that was what he wanted. Then why did it feel so wrong all of a sudden? Why was he reconsidering this? The answer became clear. 'The Soul's rubbing off on me...I'm going to kill him!'
He shut his eyes and lifted himself off of her. Cordelia opened her eyes, a mixture of confusion and a hint of passion evident in them. She pushed off of the door and straightened her clothes.
"Go," He whispered.
"I-"
"I-I have a headache! Yeah, I have a headache. You should go," She raised an eyebrow at him.
"You have a headache?" She whispered.
"Yes! I have a headache, all right? I just wanna sleep, so go!" He screamed at her. Cordelia didn't flinch at all.
"You're kidding me?"
"No I'm not. Just go," He reached around her and turned the knob opening it up for her. He turned her around and pushed her out. She turned around and smacked his hands away.
"Wait a minute! One minute you're groping me, giving me some bullshit lecture about it being for the greater good. And then the next you have a 'headache'?" She made quotation gestures with her fingers in his face.
"Yes I have a 'headache'," Imitating her gestures. He pushed her out the door and shut it behind her.
Cordelia couldn't believe what was going on. She stood out in the hall trying to process everything that had just happened. 'Kissed Angelus...again. Standing out in hallway like a dumbass!' She thought. She looked at the door as anger built up inside of her.
"You know what? That's fine! Lock me out! But you need to come down stairs sooner or later. Wes still needs to cast those spells and you need to be there like it or not!" She banged on the door until he opened it and popped his head out.
"Tell Wesley to shove it up his ass," With that he shut the door again.
"What? You don't want to find a cure? You just wanna die? I'm not letting that happen. If not for your sake then for Angel's."
"I had a good life. I've lived a long time. I would say I had a good run. We all have to go someday," She heard him scream.
"NO! OPEN THE DOOR!" She banged on the door again and tried forcing open but she wasn't strong enough. Finally he opened it and she fell against him. He caught her and turned her to look at him. He held her by her shoulders and made her look at him.
"What is with you people and banging on doors around here?!?" He
pushed her out of the way then walked past her and down the hall towards the stairs. Cordelia took a deep breath and watched him go. Her fists clenched at her sides as she tried to calm herself down.
'1...2...3...10!' She stormed down the hallway after him and went down into the lobby where she saw him and Angel talking to Wesley. The rest of the team was talking with Faith and playing with Connor. She walked away from them and went to stand beside Angel and Angelus. They both tensed up when she got near and began talking to Wesley about the spells required.
"Are we gonna do these?" Cordelia asked grabbing a list of spells from Wesley.
"Right now if at all possible. I have all the ingredients required so whenever you're ready we can-"
"Yeah that's fine."
"Right now’s good," The two vampires said simultaneously.
Wesley looked at them cautiously then went to collect the ingredients for the first spell. Both Angel and Angelus wouldn't look at Cordelia and they stayed at least three feet away from each other at all times. She couldn't take it anymore. She shook her head and walked away into one of the offices and slammed the door behind her. Both of them flinched at the sound. They both walked past each other to sit down in the lobby not saying a word.
***
"Is everyone ready?" Everyone was circled around Angel and Angelus, holding candles or herbs. The only one not there was Cordelia who had offered to take care of Connor during the spells.
"Yes," Came the simple replies.
"Alright. The spells are somewhat the same. They all have one purpose. To put to entities back together. They are however from different cultures and are translated differently. There are five, so it shouldn't take too long. With this number of spells we have a better chance of finding one that will work. Now that we are all ready, let’s begin.”
"Try using the last one first," Everyone raised their eyes at Gunn who had interupted the procedure.
"Well everytime we go out to look for something we always end up finding it in the last place on the list," He shrugged and went back to relighting his candle.
"I'll try that," Wesley said going back to his book.
He walked around the circle, chanting a few words in Latin and waved herbs. A blue swirl enveloped the pair in the middle and settled over them. Wesley stopped and waited. After a few minutes nothing happened and the mist began to clear away. Angelus popped his eyes open and saw Angel beside him.
"Goddammit," He sighed and closed his eyes again.
"That should have worked," Gunn said with a raised brow. Faith looked at him and shrugged.
"It never works the way it should," She said to him. He gave her a knowing look and waited for Wesley to give an explaination.
"Well it did something-"
"Yeah, it made it foggy in here," Fred waved at the air in front of her face and blew out her candle.
"Do you two feel any different?" Wesley asked smiling at Fred's comment.
"More pissed off then I already was?" Angelus shrugged and sat back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest.
"I meant physically."
"Oh well yeah. This whole thing is making me physically sick," He said sarcastically. In an attempt to ignore Angelus comments, Wesley turned to Angel.
"Angel? How about you?"
"Actually, I second that," He said pointing over to Angelus.
"Don't move, we'll try one more and see what happens. If this one doesn't work, it's back to researching." They all groaned and began to light their candles once more. Wesley walked around them once more and began a chant in Chinese. After a few moments the two vamps tensed up. Their eyes glowed and they fell to their knees. Gunn and Fred stood up but Wesley held them back.
"Wait," He ordered. The two collasped unconscious. Faith got up and raced over with the others.
"What happened?" She asked.
"I'm not sure. Help me get them up," Gunn and Faith managed to get Angel onto one of the couches and Angelus on one of the others.
"Angel, wake up! Angel!" After a few moments he came to with a groan.
"Are you alright?" Fred asked him.
"What happened?" He sat up slowly and rubbed his head.
"We're not sure," Gunn told him.
"Did it work?" Gunn stepped aside to reveal Angelus stirring on the couch across from him. Angel hung his head and closed his eyes.
"Angel are you alright?" Wesley asked coming over.
"I don't know," He said looking up.
"Uhh, guys," Faith was turned towards where the duo had collasped not ten minutes ago.
"What it is?" Gunn came up behind her and saw her staring at the floor.
"Guys, you might wanna take a look at this!" Angelus sat up on the couch and looked over it. Once he saw what was there he groaned.
"You have got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME!" He screamed before falling back on the couch and covering his eyes with his arm.
"What is it?" Wesley walked over, his eyes widening at the being on the floor.
"Oh dear," He mumbled.
"What?" Angel walked over and saw yet another form of himself shivering on the floor of the lobby.
"Look bro, we're triplets," Angelus said with fake enthusiasm. Angel stood open mouthed and wide-eyed completely ignoring Angelus's remark.
"Wesley?" He said in a low menacing tone. The ex-watcher felt panic creep up as all eyes turned on him.
"Oh dear," He mumbled again.
Part 12
"Wesley! What did you do?" All eyes were locked on Wesley as they waited for his response. The ex-watcher swallowed nervously and backed away slowly as Angel cornered him, looking down with anger ablaze in his eyes.
"Well, uhhh you see, I'm not sure," Wesley gave a nervous chuckle and a shrug.
"I know what you did!" Angelus called from the couch with his arm raised in the air. Wesley looked around Angel's shoulder and waited to hear what the vampire was going to say.
"You made another me...him!...No, me! Anyway, you made another one of us. Did that even make sense? Eh well," Everyone looked at him with confused expressions as he rolled over and curled up on the couch with his back to them. Wesley shook his head and looked back up at Angel.
"Well if you let me, I can go figure out what went wrong," Angel stepped back and let him walk past him into his office. Angel rubbed his eyes and went to sit down on the couch, ignoring Angelus protests. He put his head in his hands giving a heavy sigh.
"Uhh, you guys? In case you haven't noticed there is a very naked Angel twitching around on the floor," Faith said, going to stand in front of Angel. He reluctantly got up and went to try and pick up his 'triplet'.
"Help me," He grunted to Angelus. The others went over but Angel motioned for them to stop and go help Wesley. They all nodded and walked back to the office. After a few minutes he still got no response.
"I said help me!" Angel walked back around the couch to try and wake up the demon.
"I heard you...I just chose to ignore you," Angelus swatted his hands away and rolled over again.
"No! You're going to help me!" Angel grabbed Angelus' arm and dragged him off the couch, letting him fall with a thud to the floor.
"Oww, my ass," Angelus got up with a scowl and went over to help Angel. They both reached down to pick up the shivering form but immediately recoiled when they touched him.
"Oh crap," They both whispered. They looked up at each other completely confused.
"How is he human? And how did we not pick up on that a little sooner?" Angelus hissed. Angel furrowed his brow and shook his head.
"I don't know," He said shrugging. Just then Wesley came back out holding an old tattered looking piece of paper in his hand.
"I think I know what happened. What's going on?"
"Hold on a sec," Angel and Angelus picked up the clone and moved him over to the couch. Angel took off his jacket and covered himself with it.
"Wesley, he's human," Angel informed him quietly.
"What? How?" Wesley asked wide-eyed.
"We're not sure. I would have thought he would have ended up a vampire too."
"So would I. Are you sure?"
"You wanna check his pulse?" Angelus asked from his place from behind Angel. Wesley ignored him and focused on Angel.
"Well I'm not sure how that happened, but I do have the answer as to why the spell didn't serve his purpose."
"What?"
"It was purely accidental I assure you. It could've happened to anyone really." Wesley gave a sheepish smile as he continued, handing the paper to Angel.
"That's two papers," He told him. Angel raised an eyebrow as Wesley tried to explain.
"Look on that side there. Bringing energy forces together, it's supposed to continue on the next page but see there, that's a separation spell of some sort. The spells were mixed together. Accidentally!" He informed him. Angel handed the paper back and told Wesley to fix it. Wesley just nodded and walked back to his books. Angel sat on the arm of the couch, bending forward and putting his head in his hands again. A million thoughts were running through his head when he heard a laugh beside him.
"What is so funny?" He asked Angelus with annoyance evident in his voice.
"Nothing it's just," He paused to chuckle. "It occurred to me that this whole time Cordelia had been upstairs and doesn't have a clue as to what is going on," At that he couldn't contain his laughter anymore and burst out chuckling. Angel waited a beat then joined in with the laughter, but it slowly died down as they realized what they needed to do. They stared at each other.
"So uhhh...When you gonna go tell her?" Angelus asked avoiding Angel's gaze.
"Me? ME?!? Nuh uh, if I go then you're coming with me!" Angel said pointing to him.
"Me? Why me?!?"
"Because you're in this too!" Angel said narrowing his eyes.
"NO I WASN'T! I was trying to sleep peacefully and you had to drag me off the couch saying 'Help me ! Help me !'" He said the last part in a high pitched voice and wailed his arms around, mocking Angel.
"That's it!" Angel lunged at Angelus and the two began throwing punches. They fell to the floor tumbling around, both vamped out.
"You bastard!" They pummeled each other until Wesley and Gunn pulled them apart.
"What the hell do you two think you're doing?!?" Wesley shouted.
"He started it!" They said pointing at one another.
"What? No I didn't! Yes you did! You lying son of a bitch!" They said in unison advancing on each other. Fred, Gunn and Faith stepped between them.
"Hey! This isn't helping ya'll any so just stop it!" Fred screamed. Everyone looked at her, surprised by her outburst.
"Sorry, it's just fighting gets us nowhere and the other Angel is kinda waking up," Fred said pointing over to the couch.
"What is going on?" They heard him ask with a slight irish accent. Angel and Angelus shared a look.
"You know what? I'm not surprised, I mean it only makes sense that he's Liam, right?" Angelus said trying to reason out what was going on. "I wanna stake myself," Angelus said with a scowl.
"What are we gonna do?" Angel asked in a whisper.
"We could try explaining?" Angelus shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes. "I really wanna stake myself," Angelus said once again with a frown. Angel got him by the elbow and they both went over to stand in front of their 'triplet' to try to explain to him in Gaelic. Wesley heard a few words and phrases but couldn't make out much. At one point he thought he heard incompetent good for nothing ex-watcher, but he dismissed it. After a few minutes they got up, making sure Liam was covered a bit and headed towards the stairs.
"We're gonna go get some clothes and I guess I should tell Cordy what's going on. Please try and find something quickly," Wesley nodded to Angel and watched the three walk up the stairs.
"Back to the books everyone."
"Wes, do you think it's alright if I go do a quick patrol, scout out the area? I'm getting kinda antsy and you know books aren't my thing," Faith asked.
"I suppose that's alright but Gunn go with her." Gunn nodded and the two were off.
***
"Alright, so I'll stay here with him and get him some clothes and you can go talk to Cordelia," Angel said patting Angelus' shoulder and pushing him in the direction of his room.
"I don't think so. I'll stay here with Dannyboy and you go talk to the Princess," Angelus pushed him away but Angel resisted.
"No!"
"Yes! Just go!" Liam looked at them confused and unsure of what to do, so he just stood there and watched their argument unfold.
"I said it first so you have to go!"
"But I don't want to!"
"You think I do?!?"
"Just go," They began pushing each other down the hallway, not noticing Cordelia standing behind them.
"What's going on?" They both stopped and looked at her. Angelus took it as his chance and pushed Angel completely out of the room, locking him out. Angel turned and banged on the door.
"Dammit," He said under his breath, he could've sworn he heard chuckling on the other side of the door.
"What's going on?" He turned to see Cordelia with her hands on her hips and lightly tapping her foot up and down.
"Nothing is wrong. Everything is alright," He said slowly in a clam, cool manner. He crossed his arms over his and leaned on the door and kicked it with his foot. Cordelia stared at him a moment then frowned.
"Fine, don't tell me," She whispered, then turned and began to walk away.
"Damnit," Angel said under his breath. He went up to her and stood infront of her.
"Wait, Cordelia. Look, all things aside I need to tell you something."
"What?" She said in an emotionless tone.
"You probably noticed that Wesley's spells didn't exactly work. We only really tried two, and-"
"Is this gonna go somewhere soon, I left Connor in his crib and I wanna make sure he's ok," Angel sighed and led her into the room.
"He's fine. I really need to talk to you. Can I just see you outside?" Cordelia nodded and they walked back out to the hallway.
"Well?"
"Ok, umm...The first spell, well it didn't really do anyting. But the second spell, kind of...Did the opposite of what it was supposed to do."
"Define opposite," She said with a raised eyebrow.
"Instead of bringing me and Angelus back together, it kind of made another me," Angel stumbled a bit over the words looking into her eyes.
"What? How?"
"The combining spell was mixed with a separation spell."
"So there's another you?"
"Another h-human me," He said with a bit of a stutter.
"Human?" Cordelia furrowed her brow and shook her head.
"That was pretty much my reaction."
"Anything else I should know?"
"No. Oh wait, um he's human me from the past, Liam."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"I wish I was," He heard her sigh and felt her eyes on him. Suddenly the carpet became very interesting so he kept his eyes on it, trying to avoid her gaze.
"Angel?" He heard her whisper his name in a small voice. She sounded so vulnerable, he couldn't help but look up. Her eyes shined in the hallway light as they bore into his.
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry about. You didn't mess up the spell," He knew that wasn't what she was talking about, but he really didn't feel like playing 'Let's Reminice!' He was already doing enough of that.
"That's not what I-"
"I should probably go back and help."
"Yeah, ok," Cordelia nodded and looked down.
Angel couldn't stand it anymore, he grabbed Cordelia's hands and entertwined them with his own.
"Don't be sorry," He rubbed her palms with his thumbs. The gesture, though small, did comfort her. She nodded. He brought his hands up to cup her face and leaned in. Cordelia leaned back a little, unsure of what he was going to do.
"Angel?" He shook his head and leaned in further, brushing his lips across her forehead.
"I'm sorry," With that he turned around and was prepared to walk back.
Cordelia turned and started walking but quickly felt a hand on her shoulder, turning her around again. Angel brought his hands up to her face and leaned in crashing his lips to hers. Cordelia was too shocked at what was happening. She slowly began to respond to his caresses. He pulled back and looked into her bewildered eyes. He smiled slightly and let her go.
"Just checking something," And with that he turned and walked back to the room with Angelus and Liam. He knew what he needed to know. He felt what he KNEW she felt. He smiled a bit wider but wiped it off his face once he entered the suite.
Outside Cordelia fell against the door and brought a hand to her lips. They were burning from his touch, but it felt so good. So different from Angelus' kiss. Angel felt somehow warmer and she felt something deeper with him. With the demon it was all want. Right now,
all she wanted was to have Angel back in her arms and feel the things he had been doing to her over and over.
God...She was going to hell for this.
Continue on...