Title: The Morning After
Author: AngelBaby
Posted: 05-21-2002
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing *sigh*
Distribution: Want, take, have. Just give me a heads up to where it's going!
Spoilers: Nope, none.
Type: Humour, romance.
Summary: Just read the story!
Notes: This is before Connor so I'm sorry to say but the little ankle biter(can't really call him that anymore, huh?) is not present.
Feedback: Like Angel needs blood (& Cordelia)

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Cordy's POV

There are certain things you should and should not do with your best friends. Off the top of my head, I can give you three things you can and should do...

1.) Go to a movie.
It's a dark movie theatre with other people present. No pressure there, it's not like you have to come up with anything to say. After wards, just talk about the movie.
2.) Have lunch.
Don't have to talk during this either if you don't want to, cuz guess what? You're eating.
3.) Have a conversation about a good book.
It's something to pass the time.

Things you shouldn't do...

1.) Over-sharing
Over-sharing is bad because, well because...Sometimes you say things that you just don't want your friend to know, and vice versa. Trust me on this.

2.) Getting drunk.
This is a very, very, very bad thing. When your drunk, you have no control of over your actions. Why? Becasue you're under the influence of alcohol.
For instence...You might end up getting a bottle of Jose Cuervo, some lemon slices, and some salt. This just leads to body shots and that's definetly a no no!

This goes into number three.

3.) Having sex!
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Sex complicates everything. Nothing good can come of it...most of the time. But always, all the time when it's with your best friend. I guess it really depends on your friend, but mine happens to be a 250 year old vampire with a soul.

Go figure!

So now, I'm laying here...And let me just say I don't even remember how I ended up here in the first place. What I do remember is the bottle of tequila and for some reason, body shots. That's all, so don't even ask.
Anyway, like I was saying. I'm laying here, trying to keep myself covered up with a sheet so that hopefully, my oblivious friend Wesley, won't know I'm here. Angel's sitting up next to me, trying to be calm and collective even though he's well, naked. He's trying to tell Wesley everything is okay. I guess it's later than I thought.

Bless Wesley's heart for being so concerned but he really needs to leave. I'm starting to shake and so is the blanket. Finally after what seems like hours, he leaves. Thank God!

"Cor?" I hear Angel's faint voice in the back of my mind, but right now I'm just focusing on keeping the sheet on me for as long as possible.

"Cordy?" God, when he sounds so desperate and so lost I can't help but look at him. So I pull the sheet down and sit up. I immediately regret that act. Who the hell invented tequila anyway?

"You think he knew I was here?" I managed to groan out. I make sure the sheet is completely covering me. Angel might have got an eyeful last night, but he had twice as much to drink as I did, so right now I'm hoping he doesn't remember anything. No need to refresh his memory.

"Uh...No, I'm pretty sure he didn't," I look out of the corner of my eye and see Angel shut his eyes and lean his head back against the wall. Good, if I have to suffer then so does he! Okay, that was mean, because I would never wish this kind of pain upon anyone. But Angel was the one that pulled out that stupid bottle of pure liquid evil in the first place! Wait...Memory is coming back...and I lost it, only to have it replaced with that sharp pain again.

"Oh God,'Friends' flashback," I groan again. I don't know where that came from, but you have to admit, the circumstances we're pretty much the same...Well, at least the part with me under the covers anyway.

As all this 'Friends' crap is going on in my head, I don't notice the look of confusion Angel's giving me, right about...now!

"What?" I knew he'd be curious. People usually are after I finish a sentence. For some reason, I take great pride in that.

"Oh well, there was this episode where Monica and Chandler slept together, and Ross came in and..." There's that weird look again, only this time there's a really goofy grin to go along with it. I love that grin, I really do, but now it's my turn to be curious.

"What is it?" I raise my eyebrows at him as his grin widens.

"Nothing, it's just...Your nose does this cute little thing when you talk," I don't know why or how, but when he says things like that to me I feel myself begin to melt and I can't help but smile back. He reaches out and cups my face with one hand, tracing my lips with his thumb. God, someone mop me up now! And as if that weren't enough, he starts leaning in and I can't bring myself to pull away. So instead of doing that, I cover my lips with my hand and he ends up kissing my palm. Needless to say, Angel pulls back and gives that damn confused look again. Minus the grin.

"Cor?" There's concern lacing his voice and I want to make it all go away. I really don't like being the cause of that tone of voice.

"Angel, what are we doing?" My voice shakes. My heart speeds up and my palms begin to sweat. I'm dreading his answer because I'm afraid he's not going to say 'We're falling in love' or something to that effect, cheesy as it may be.

"Almost kissing?" Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr.State-the-obvious-manpire at your service. Somebody shoot me now! I let out a long sigh and roll my eyes.

"Really? Cuz I was sure that we were paying the bills!" I get up making sure I bring the sheet with me and by pure accident kinda uncover Angel in the process. Not a bad sight, and I have to say that I'm beginning to have flashbacks of last night. All of which include Angel's lips kissing mine as his tongue explores my mouth. I can almost feel him moving down as he sucks and licks his way lower and lower. My thoughts race and I feel a familiar ache begin to form in my belly. It begins to spread even lower and I can't help but keep looking at Angel all but sprawled on the bed. I bite my lip, trying to focus my view somewhere else, but I'm failing. Angel knows where I'm looking and I can see the desire in his eyes when I finally look up. But we need to talk and he knows that too. So he grabs his boxers that are across the room (long walk by the by) and puts them on quickly, along with a pair of sweats. And all of a sudden I'm feeling very naked in nothing but a sheet.

"Cor? What do you want me to say?" Uh, hello I think I already stated that! Except you aren't in my head. Which is weird because you usually are! I told you sex complicates everything.

"I-I-I don't know," Great one Cor, play the clueless card.

"You don't know?" Angel asks coolly. He smiles a bit at my stuttering and folds his arms over his chest, waiting for my answer.

"Look, Angel, I really don't know anything right now. I have a really bad hangover, I just woke up in your bed...NAKED!" Shoot me now!

"Cordy, these walls aren't that thick," Shut up! Shut up! I know that. I clutch the sheet tighter and begin to pace.

"Angel, I really don't remember that much right now so if you could..."

"Wait, you don't remember anything?" Stop interrupting me! God I hate when he does that. He knows I hate that.

"Everything's kinda meshing together. Can't really get a clear picture. But I keep remembering body shots..." I stop and cock my head to the side, trying to remember anything else but coming up short.

"Oh yeah," I heard Angel chuckle to himself. That bastard! What the hell is he laughing at?

"You remember?" I ask narrowing my eyes. He better tell me what went on.

"Bits and pieces. But I gotta tell ya, my side's a little blurry too," Angel shrugs and sits back down on the bed. I decide to sit down too, but if I'm gonna hear a story about how we got it on, I'd rather sit on the other side of the bed.

"Hey, you got blurry, I got blackout. Care to share with the class?" I ask this in a sort of bitchy tone, but he deserves it. How dare he have memories of me all naked and doing things, and I barely get anything. No, the man is sharing and he's sharing now!

"You want me to tell you everything we did in full detail?" His eyes roam over my body and I can't help to react to it. I roll my shoulders and straighten myself when a thought occurs to me.

"Angel, did you take advantage me?" That's probably cruel and I shouldn't have even thought that let alone asked it. I know Angel, and I know he would never do anything like that to me. But me being me, stuff just shoots from my mouth sometimes. And I almost always regret it, just like now.

"What?" I can tell Angel's a little hurt but like I said, it just came out.

"Well, I mean...You obviously remember more than I do, and you were a little less drunk then I was..." Then I hear Angel laughing, which kinda scares me considering the conversation we're having right now.

"I'm sorry Cordy, it's just *chuckle* You weren't the one being taken advantage of," My jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes got ten times bigger. Angel could be lying, but for some reason I know he's not. Now that I think about it, all the body shot flashbacks had me on top of Angel. Not a bad place to be.

"How about you tell me what you remember and I'll see if I can help you out with that rest? You have to remember something," I should, I do remember something.

"Well, okay. Uhh, Okay...I remember I was staying late doing some filing. Wesley went home early and Fred and Gunn went out somewhere. You came down into the lobby, complaining about how bored you were..."

"I remember you complaining," Angel teases. He really needs to stop with the interrupting here. Even though he might be right...MIGHT BE!

"Hey, who's remembering here? Huh?"

"I'm sorry. You're right, please continue," Angel gives the sign of approval, as if I needed it, and lets me finish.

"Alright, SOMEBODY was complaining so I suggested we go out. Then SOMEBODY, said there was no where to go. So I said...So I said," Running a blank, SOMEBODY help me here!

"You said...How about we go watch some TV?" Thank you!

"Yes, yes! And then we went into the lounge and we sat down and started talking. Then you told me some stories about how you and Spike always used to have really weird drinking contests and how you could always drink him under the table..." It's all becoming so clear now. I practically jumping up and down remembering all this crap, headache be damned, sheet beware!

"And, and then you said, "I bet I could drink you under the table any day!" God Angel looks so hot right now! He's got the slept in clothes and the 'I just had really good sex' hair. Kinda boosts my confidence, but I really shouldn't be having these thoughts...Right now anyway.

"Oh yeah," And God said 'Let Cordelia remember!' Images fill my head one by one. I feel myself blush and notice the knowing look Angel gives me.

"And that's where the tequila comes in!" We both said in unison. I know nothing else needs to be said. We got drunk, ended up in Angel's bedroom, did some body shots, and it pretty much led to more. God this is so hard. My best friend is sitting across the other side of his bed, which we made lo-had sex in , and he's looking at me like he loves me or something. And I can't help but love him back.

"I guess I should go. Wesley will probably be back here in five minutes checking up on you again," I get up and start searching around the room for my clothes. I find a skirt ripped in two and a partially teared top. I can't find my bra anywhere but I found my panties a while ago. They don't look like panties anymore.

"Cordy wait! We still need to talk about this," Angel takes my hands in his and I drop the clothes I just finished picking up. I'm glad I wrapped the sheet securely around me, cuz it would be on the floor right about now!

"There's nothing to talk about Angel. We both remember what happened. We got drunk and made some bad decisions. It was like a really bad after school special, 'Don't drink alcohol. Don't have sex. Just say no!' We obviously didn't say no and look where it got us. I'm just gonna go alright? We'll just forget about this," I need to get out of here because if I don't soon, I'm going to explode. It weren't for Angel's hand on my arm holding me back, I so would have been out already, sheet and all.

"What if I don't want to forget?" What?!? I wanna scream that, I really do! But Angel pretty much shot me into the land of speechless-ness...I've never been here before myself, it's not that bad at first. But I'm quickly hating it. Hey everybody, let's take a trip to WHAT THE HELL???-Ville.

"Whuh?" Okay, that was supposed to come out as a scream. It pretty much came out as a breathy whisper/moan. It kinda sounded like I was in a bad porno. But that's not the point!

"You can't ask me to just let you walk out of here after what happened last night and expect me to act as if nothing...You know, happened," I can see all the emotions playing out in Angel's eyes. There's confusion(again) sadness, frustration(not like he's the only one) and a smidge of anger. I can tell the smidge is starting to grow.

"Well what do you suggest we do?" I'm getting a bit angry myself. Not at Angel but at myself and the whole situation. I can't let myself to do this again, not with Angel. I couldn't bear losing him and it's not like it's gonna happen anyway. The B word comes to mind...Buffy. Angel can say he's over her all he wants but I know there will always be a part of his heart that I just won't be able to touch so I'm not gonna even try. I probably sound like a quiter I mean, I'm Cordelia Chase and I always get what I want. What I want right now is standing right in front of me but I know I can't have him. I can't have him the way I want him and I've accepted that.

"We need to work something out!" Now there's panic. I'm really gonna hate myself but I have to do this.

"Work what out, Angel? A one night-stand?" I wanna cry, I really do. I can't fall! Not again!

"You think this was just a one night-stand?" There's that anger again.

"Yeah, Angel, I do! I really do! You wanna know why? Because by definition, that's what this is, I mean was!" I gesture to the bed as I say that and I notice Angel keep his eyes on the spot where we were together. He looks away though and doesn't look back.

"This cannot happen. You and me...We just don't work!" I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. God, please don't let me break down in front of him.

"Why?" I hear him whisper. And suddenly I'm drawing a blank. Why can't we be together? What's so wrong with us just being happy and loving each other? Oh wait a minute...I know why!

"Hmmm, let me think about that for a second! Let's see, ummm...How about Buffy? How about your curse...You know that's another thing! We are so lucky that you didn't go psycho and go on a killing spree!" Oh God, oh God, ohGodohGodohGod...He's not evil, he's not!

"You're not evil...are you?" I know I'm shaking now. My body. My voice. Angelus is the one thing that scares me to death. He pretty much equals death...Angel's death, my death, Fred's death, Wesley's, Gunn's, Lorne's, the whole world in general...Connor...

"Cordelia? No, come here," And then I feel his arms holding me. He surrounds me. I can't think of a better place to be right now.

"I'm not evil, okay? I'm not gonna turn evil," I pull away and I feel him cupping my face. I can see his eyes searching mine and I want to pull away but I know he won't let me.

"How do you know that? What makes you so sure?" My eyes start to sting and I can feel the tears start to fall.

"I don't know. It's just, I can feel it. I'm not gonna turn into Angelus. I'm not," There's this desperation in his voice that kinda leaves me on edge. I wanna believe him so much.

"I can't take that risk! We can't take that risk. I'm not willing to do that, not even for you!" My vision's kinda blurry. The tears are starting to sting my eyes even more. I was kinda hoping I would just pass out or drop dead. No such luck.

"Okay, okay I understand. I don't want to take that risk either, but...Please don't walk away from this. Don't pretend this didn't happen. We have something here, you can't deny that!" He's pleading with me. He's actually begging ME to stay. God, he sounds so scared right now and he won't let go of me, won't stop touching me. Like if he does I will go away and I won't be real for him anymore. I know what he means, cuz I feel it too.

"What about Buffy?" I'm just grasping at straws here. I know Buffy isn't really a threat, not anymore anyway.

"Buffy? Cordelia, you above all people should know that I've been over Buffy for a long time now," In the span of, oh I don't know, three seconds...Angel managed to pace, sit, stand, lay down on his bed, and now crouch down in front of me. I'm kinda impressed.

"Okay," I feel like I've been defeated. Truth is, I think Angel's gonna win this argument. "Say Buffy isn't an issue and neither is your curse, what would make us work? You know, Angel, everytime we get just a little bit happy, something always goes wrong. What would make our situation any different, huh? I don't understand that, please explain it to me!" I've just issued a challenge. I want Angel to make me believe. Guess I just have to sit back and see if he accomplishes that.

"I don't know how to explain it to you. You're right, though, when you said that something always goes wrong when we get a little happiness in our lives. But that's what life is! You take things as they come at you. My love for you hit me full force. It just kinda grew from something so small as acquaintences, to friends, and now maybe something more. Whether or not we do something with this, I'm still linked to you. You're my seer and I'm your warrior, that's just the way it's gonna be till something happens to one of us. I wanna do this side by side, because I need you with me. I want you with me...Is anything I'm saying gonna change your mind whatsoever?" This whole time I had been fumbling wit my hands and let the tears fall. I look up and I can actually smile. I lean forward and kiss him. Kissing Angel can never not be intense. His lips are always cooler than mine and they mold perfectly. And god his tongue!

"I'm guessing it did have some affect?" He's smiling now too and I can see the hope in his eyes.

"Little bit," I shrug. Angel get's up and sits down next to me, holding me in his arms. Everything was so quiet for the next few minutes.

"I'm a bitch," I say flatly. Might as well lay out all the cards.

"I'm a dork," I hear Angel reply. His comment makes my smile widen.

"I whine."

"I brood."

"I'm messy."

"I'm a neat freak so I'll just clean up your mess," I had to chuckle at that.

"I'm part demon...and I don't even know which part."

"Yeah well, I'm a vampire with a soul that includes a curse that has me marked as a eunuch for life," I feel him tense up in my arms.

"Whether you're a eunuch or not, I still love you!" I really mean that. I think he knows that too.

"Really?" Why does he sound so surprised?

"Yeah! I don't love you because your good in bed! Although that's some pretty good bonus points. You could be castrated for all I care and I would still love you!" I look up and notice how Angel's eyes have widened oh by a about ten times bigger than they're supposed to be.

"I'm sorry, wrong choice of words!" Okay, note to self 'Never say castrated in front of Ang...In front of any man or anything thing with a penis!' Hey you never know now a days!

"You think?" Did Angel just squeak?

"What I meant to say was...I don't expect anything from you. I just want you. I want to do this side by side too. We get chances of happiness here and there, though they are few and far between. But I guess it's better that we hang on to the moments we get a chance to have and experience while we get them," And I have officially surrendered to him. I climb up on his lap and watch as Angel leans forward and captures my lips again. He falls back and I'm on him, feel him gripping me tighter, rubbing against him, really feeling his desire and love for me.

"You gave in kind of easily. I usually have to bribe you with something before you agree with me," I hear him whisper that and I want to laugh.

"Believe me, that wasn't giving in easily. I've been fighting this for a verrry long time, and I've just know realized I can't do it anymore," I trail kisses down his jaw, his neck and start to move down his chest but he stops me.

"Cordelia, we can't do this," He pushes me away a little but I push him back down, lay beside him, wrap my arms around his waist and close my eyes.

"And we're not going to, at least not right now anyway. I just want to feel you beside me. Let's just stay here together for a while...How does that work for you?" Angel pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head.

"That works out perfectly," And so we fell asleep like that. I could've sworn I heard the door open, an 'Oh dear' muttered and the door closing again...Although that could have just been my imagination. Right now, none of that really matters. I'm in bed with my best friend, that I also love. There's no where else I would rather be.

End.