Title: Only Time
Author: Angelalias
Posted: 02-22-2002
Spoilers: All season 3 + speculations on season finale.
Author’s note: 1) This is set after the season finale. This is taking into account the kidnapping of Connor, the numerous prophecies surrounding the child. In this fictional world, Connor was kidnapped by W&H but Angel and the Gang managed to save him and get him back. Cordy is not with Groo, though the guy is still in LA and did not go back to Pylea. Cordy and Angel sort of have not voiced their growing feelings to one another yet. So let’s assume season 3 ends like that. This is set right after, so sometime at the beginning of season 4.
2) I tried to stop myself and to wait a little before starting another fic, but writing just consumes me. I couldn't help it. There seems to be a little trend on Time Traveling fics these days, and I've had this idea in mind for a long time, except I decided to take a slightly different approach to Time Traveling. Hope you guys like.
Rating: PG 13 just to be safe
Summary: With the future in chaos, The Powers That Be make a bold and risky move. What will Angel and Cordelia do when they come face to face with their decision?
Part 1 (of 13)
2025 – Hyperion Basement
The moonlight came in through the small window and cast a small shadow across the wall. The basement of the Hyperion bathed in a calm, uneventful glow. One a closer look, the place seemed to have been left in a pitiful state. Weapons were scattered across the floor while old dust settled on the furniture. An old picture of two small children – a boy and a girl – rested, with the frame broken, on one of the tables.
No one in sight.
Just silence.
2002 – Street of LA
Angel was thrown in the air and against the side of a building by the strong three-headed beast. Wesley and Cordy hit the demon with their swords, desperately trying to tire the beast, but in vain. Angel came back full force when he saw the demon heading straight for Cordelia. He grabbed his sword and stuck it into the beast’s stomach with all his strength.
2025 – Street of LA
The sword sliced Gunn’s flesh, making his insides bleed helplessly.
“Gunn!!!” Buffy’s frightened voice rang into the night as Gunn fell to his knees.
“Buffy, behind you!” A young man in his early twenties warned.
Buffy turned in time to kick one of the demons chasing them. The young man went to help her while Gunn managed to lean against the wall, hidden from the rest of the large demon troupe. Jumping from the shadows, a teenage girl wearing an old denim jacket grabbed a piece of metal and stabbed the demon that had been fighting Buffy. The three of them desperately tried to fend off the growing hungry crowd, but they soon found themselves struggling.
“Ally, look out!” Gunn screamed from the ground as the teenage girl spun around just in time to avoid a sword.
Outraged at his miss, the demon turned and grabbed the young man by Buffy’s side and disarmed him, tightening its claws around his throat.
“Connor! No!” the teenager yelled out of breath.
2002 – Street of LA
“Angel! No!” Cordy gasped as Angel was tackled to the ground.
An unconscious Wesley lay sprawled across the floor while Angel struggled to free himself from the beast’s grasp.
A second demon burst from the shadows and headed straight for Cordelia. She straightened her new denim jacket and took a deep breath. She began to fight him off with a sword but he soon disarmed her, wounding her arm and leg with its sharp claws. Blood began to roll down on the side of her leg as she began to step back.
2025 – Street of LA
The demon sliced Connor’s throat with its claws, making the blood spill from his neck with dangerous speed. The teenage girl began to head for the beast but Buffy stopped her. With one swift, anger-filled move, Buffy chopped the demon’s head off. The teenage girl immediately threw herself by Connor’s side, desperately helping her up. Meanwhile, Buffy ran to Gunn, wrapping her arm around his waist to help him stand up. Once he was up, he noticed the army of demons approaching them.
Panicking, Buffy turned to the two young people and yelled.
“Run!!!” she shouted, pleadingly. “Ally, run!!!!” she repeated at the top of her lungs.
2002 – Street of LA
“Go! Cordy go! Run!” Angel yelled at the top of his non-functioning lungs, as Cordy began to run for her life.
Her feet savagely hit the ground as the streetlights flew by with the scenery. She could hear the second demon pursuing her with vicarious speed. She shot a few glances over her shoulder as she kept on running as fast as she could.
In her hurry, she tripped and fell face down on the ground, groaning in pain.
2025 – Street of LA
In their frantic running, Connor tripped and crashed onto the ground, as did the girl that was helping him. The girl grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up as the two of them kept on running towards shelter.
Connor was getting weak. She could see it. She could see the door. Just a few more seconds and they’d reach it.
2002- Street of LA
Cordy ran as if the fate of the world rested on her last sprint.
2025- Street of LA
The young teenage girl ran like a mad woman, out of breath, knowing that the fate of the world rested on her last sprint.
2002 – Street of LA
Cordy fell onto the floor once again and spun around just in time to see the beast jump in the air to attack her. In one split-second, the world stopped turning. And then, Bang! A sword pierced the demon’s flesh and the beast crashed onto the ground beside Cordy, revealing the handler of the sword.
Angel.
2025- Hyperion Basement
Buffy and Gunn blocked the door with tons of furniture. On the other side of the dark room, Connor laid down on the floor in pain, while the young woman leaned over his body with tears in her eyes as she tried to stop the bleeding of his neck with her bare hands.
Buffy turned around and saw the heartbreaking scene and tears sprung from her eyes. The pounding on the door kept pressing them. Gunn immediately went to a drawer and took out an enormous book and some crystals, which he handed to Buffy immediately. Connor was fighting to breathe and the girl was fighting to stop the bleeding.
“No…no…” she breathed through her tears. “Not you too….not now. Look at me…stay with me. Don’t you dare die on me now…” she cried.
“A…Ally…” Connor managed to speak as blood leaked from his wound like a fountain.
At that moment, a bright light flashed and revealed a frantic Skip staring at them.
“Oh my God…” he exclaimed at the sight before him.
“Skip, we have to do this now.” Buffy urged him while Gunn placed the crystals in a circle on the floor.
“Yes, and they agree.” Skip said motioning to the heaven – the PTB. “But he can’t go.” He said referring to Connor.
“What?!?” the teenage brunette nearly spitted through her tears as Connor’s body shook in her arms. “He has to go! They chose him to go! Can’t you do something here? Do something!!!” she shouted.
“Ally…” Connor whispered again.
She looked into his helpless, dark eyes as he spoke to her.
“Don’t give up…” he told her out of breath. “Make this right…you can make this right…” he begged of her.
After a long silence, she got up and turned to face Buffy, Gunn and Skip, a determination imprinted in her hazel eyes.
“Are you sure?” Gunn painfully asked and she nodded.
“Ally…” Buffy whispered taking her hands into hers and intensely looking at her with tearful eyes. “She would be proud of you…remember that.” She whispered, embracing the young woman with such love.
Buffy pulled away and she and Gunn stood back while Skip joined the girl in the middle of the circle.
“You remember what you have to do?” he asked her with concern. One look at Connor and she nodded again. “Don’t let go of my hand.” He warned her.
Gunn and Buffy recited a chant and a warm light enveloped them. In one flash of light, Skip and the girl vanished from the trashed training room.
2002- Outside the Hyperion
Angel’s car stopped in front of the hotel
“How did Gunn and Wesley get back here before us? You know for a champion, you could use a more champion-y car.” Cordy mumbled, holding her bruised forehead.
“Hey! This is a very good car! Gunn is a reckless driver.” Angel defended himself as he got out of the car and walked to her side to open her door.
He saw the wounds on her legs and stomach and grimaced.
“Okay, so what’ll it be?” he asked, looking down at her in her seat. “The damsel in distress entrance or the Champion piggy back ride?”
Cordy raised an eyebrow and stared at him.
“What? I’m not letting you walk.” He grinned sweetly.
--
Inside the Hotel
Lorne stood there holding Connor as a freshly patched up Gunn and Wesley chatted around the counter with Fred. Interrupting their casual conversation was the sudden bright light that swept into the room. After the initial shock, the blinding light disappeared, dropping the body of a weak teenage girl onto the floor. A few seconds later, Skip’s body came crashing down the flight of stairs while everyone stared, jumping into defensive mode.
“Oh God…” Fred whispered, looking down at the girl who lied on the floor, covered in blood.
The girl weakly lifted herself up on her knees and looked up. When her eyes met Fred’s, Wesley’s, Gunn’s and Lorne’s, she caught her breath and froze.
“What the hell….” Gunn muttered while Skip pulled himself up.
“Time Travel’s a bitch. Can’t we just use the freeway next time?! Sweetie, I told you not to let go of my hand…you could have come face to face with…” he began, lifting his eyes to see the emotional, dumbfounded look on everyone’s faces, especially the young brunette. “Oh…”
there was a long silence as they all stared at one another. The loud voices coming from the door finally broke the silence. Angel burst through the door, carrying Cordy on his back, as they two of them laughed out loud.
“Okay. Put me down you big caveman!” she laughed, hitting his shoulder playfully.
Their teasing quickly stopped as they saw the scene before them. As soon as their voices had been heard, the girl had froze, holding her breath, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes welling up with tears.
Slowly, ever so slowly, she turned around and looked at the two people standing in the doorway.
It was them.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she stayed glued to the sight of Cordelia.
“What’s going on? Who are you?” Cordy asked, looking at everyone, especially the stranger in front of her.
Skip stood still, unsure what would happen now.
“Mom…” the girl whispered to herself, unable to move, speak, or breathe.
Part 2 (of ?)
“What did you just say?” Cordy asked, confusion covering every inch of her face.
All she could do was stare at Cordelia. She looked exactly as she remembered. Every line on her face was the same, though a bit younger. It was exactly as she remembered it. The way Cordelia and Angel had laughed when walking in the hotel. The sound had enveloped her as it had done so many times when she was a child. The look of utter confusion on Cordy’s face right now was also one she recognized. Cordy’s hair seemed shorter and lighter but she remembered seeing pictures of that hairstyle in her parent’s photo albums. It suddenly overwhelmed her and she began to stammer.
“I…I…I thought you were someone else.” She lied, finally finding her voice.
There was an awkward pause; one which Skip knew probably broke the girl’s heart in pieces.
“Skip.” Angel then interjected. “What is going on here?”
“We are in very big trouble is what is going on here.” Skip answered with a sigh.
“Oh my God…you’re covered in blood.” Fred said, looking at all the blood covering the girl’s clothes and skin.
“It’s…It’s not mine.” She replied softly…regretfully as tears welled up in her eyes.
“It’s human blood…” Angel observed, smelling it off of her and sensing some sort of familiarity in its smell.
Skip nearly chocked at the idea that it was Connor’s.
Cordelia sort of lost track of the conversation for a little while, being captivated by the strangely familiar young woman. There was something about her. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it though. Cordy was startled, just like everyone else, when the girl suddenly jerked and turned to Skip in a panic.
“You have to go back!” she exclaimed as if she suddenly remembered something important. “Skip, you need to go back and save him!” she almost begged him, grabbing him by the shoulders.
“Sweetie…”
“No! You have to go back and get them somewhere safe…” tears welled up in her eyes. “Skip…he can’t die…”
“Sweetie…” he said, holding her by the arms to calm her down. “That’s y our job. That’s why you’re here, remember…I can’t save him, but you can.” He said in a low voice.
Angel saw the young woman stand still and lower her eyes momentarily.
“Save who?” he asked, but neither Skip nor the girl looked at him in the eyes. “Save who, Skip?” he repeated.
“All of you.” Skip soberly stated as he let go of Ally’s shoulders.
“Am I the only one completely lost here?” Gunn interjected, as everyone stood silent around him.
“We are from the future, and she was sent here to change it.” Skip replied as they all stared at him blankly.
--
Lilah sat at her desk, thinking of new ways to get to Connor and destroy Angel forever. They had failed once but they wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, she vowed.
She stared at a file blankly, in silence, until a blinding light took over her office. She closed her eyes for several seconds and then reopened them only to find a tall, dark man standing in front of her.
“You…” Lilah mumbled, recognizing a much older version of Groo standing in front of her.
“I have come to help you, my lady.” The future Groosalug spoke as he stared at her from his place in the doorway.
--
Once again, Cordelia found herself losing track of the conversation that followed. She absent-mindedly heard Skip’s explanation of the situation: how the future, which was once a promising one, was now filled with darkness, danger, heartbreak and evil, thanks to something that could have been avoided. She didn’t pay much attention as he warned Angel of what was going to take place in the next couple of days. How, in the original outline, Connor was going to be kidnapped by Wolfram & Hart, and how the little boy was the link between good and evil in all dimensions. Wolfram & Hart would need Connor and his innocence for a certain ritual that would unleash the forces of hell onto earth, allowing them to create evil as they please. Angel and the gang would be able to rescue Connor, but only too late. Wolfram & Hart were going to acquire tremendous power through that ritual, allowing them not only to blur the lines between the fires of hell and earth, but also to create brand new species of evil. Create, being the operative word here. It would take years for the full effect of this ritual to be completed, fuelled by Connor’s presence in this world and his lack of training in controlling his inner force – his energy.
Cordy caught bits and pieces of Skip telling them how the Hellmouth would finally open and the invasion and massacre would begin. Or how he warned Angel that it’s a decision he would have to make that would determine the fate of the world. The first time around, Angel made the wrong, selfish decision, with all the best intentions, but the Powers were powerless to change it. That’s why they sent this girl to change what would bring the ruination of mankind.
Cordelia heard Angel pressing Skip for more information on that decision he’d have to face, but Skip refused to answer more for now.
“First things first. We have to protect Connor and stop Wolfram and Hart from getting their hands on him. Then we’ll worry about the rest.” Skip answered.
Meanwhile, Cordy inspected the girl who stood by Skip’s side, covered in fresh blood, looking exhausted but mostly, looking like she needed a hug. The girl’s shoulder length messy brown hair hid a couple of blonde highlights; her eyes were tired, wise beyond their 19 years, dark but determined. Cordy saw the traces of blood on the side of her cheek and all around her clothes, as if she’d actually bathed herself in a blood bath. The girl wasn’t very tall, but there was something intimidating in her posture.
That’s when Cordy noticed something that struck her. The girl was wearing the same exact jacket that she was wearing. That blue denim jacket. Cordy felt her heart skip a beat. Of course, there are millions of jackets like this one, but it was a gut feeling. Something was up. Could it be? Could it be possible?
“Buffy must have pronounced something wrong because we’re here 3 days early.” The girl said, looking at a newspaper on the counter, careful not to touch it with her bloody hands.
“It’s good. Gives you more time.” Skip replied.
“Buffy?” Angel asked, a bit surprised by just how casually she had said Buffy’s name.
“How do you know Buffy?” Cordy asked reluctantly.
The girl paused and looked at her silently.
“Who are you?” Cordelia asked, taking a few steps forward. When the girl hesitated, Cordy pressed her for answers. “Who are you?”
“My name is Alessia…” she answered reluctantly.
“Alessia who?” But Alessia didn’t reply. “How do you know Buffy, and why did you think I was someone else when I walked in….who are you?”
“It doesn’t matter…”
“It matters to me.” Cordy’s tone was both slightly fearful and firm.
“Cordy, what are you doing?” Angel asked, concerned by her sudden attitude towards Alessia.
Cordy didn’t stop. What WAS she doing?
“Where did you get this jacket?” she finally asked as her voice shook under her every word.
Alessia found herself at a loss for words, which was an event in and out of itself. Cordy walked towards the girl and reached out to touch the blue denim jacket with her fingers. Alessia nervously took a step backwards and all of a sudden Cordelia knew what she was hiding. Cordy took another step forward and this time grabbed the jacket and looked at the inscription on its inside.
C.C.
Cordy froze and suddenly shook her head in disbelief. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t possible.
“This is mine…” Cordy whispered almost to herself as it became her turn to step back. “Where did you get this?”
Skip stared at the scene expectantly. His eyes went back and forth between Cordelia and Alessia, and he waited for a reply.
“It was given to me.” Alessia admitted, carefully.
“By who?” Cordy let out as she kept on stepping back.
They both stared at one another for a long time before Alessia could speak.
“It was my mother’s.” Alessia whispered, almost reluctantly, but everyone heard her.
They all froze. Angel’s eyes bore into Cordelia’s face as she just stared in front of herself, completely taken aback by the revelation. Angel felt his un-beating heart both break and lead for joy at the same time. Cordelia’s daughter.
Cordelia had a daughter.
And it dawned on him, joy and sadness all at once. Cordelia would have a daughter.
“This…this isn’t…it’s not possible…” Cordy mumbled, on shock.
“You gave it to me…” Alessia added, finding her voice. “My name is Alessia.” She repeated, but this time didn’t stop there. “Alessia Chase.”
“Oh dear Lord…” Wesley couldn’t help but say.
Part 3 (of ?)
She let the water run soothingly over her fingers, washing away the blood that had begun to dry on her skin. Alessia rubbed and scrubbed quickly, trying to erase the memory of Connor’s lifeless body lying in her arms, bleeding on her, killing her just a little more in spirit.
Cordy stood in the doorway, silent, and slightly awkward, and watched as Alessia turned off the water and slowly dried her hands and face. There was something so eerily calm about Alessia Chase. Something very quiet and poised stemmed from her actions, and Cordelia found herself examining the girl from a small distance, holding clean clothes in her hands. Alessia looked up and saw Cordy standing there, looking at her, and the two shared a long pause.
“I, uh…I got you some clean clothes if you want…” Cordy managed to speak comprehensively as she handed Alessia a pair of worn-out jeans.
Alessia, who had taken off the infamous denim jacket and placed it on the counter near the sink was now standing there in a white, bloodstained t-shirt.
“Thanks…” Alessia said in a quick breath as she took the pair of jeans slowly from her mother’s hands.
“And, here…” Cordy said, also handing her a black sweater. “I didn’t have any here, so this is one of Angel’s. It’s a bit large, but…I mean…if you want to change…” she found herself rambling out of nervousness.
“It’s perfect.” Alessia replied, with a reassuring nod. “Thank you. Really.” She said in all honesty as the emotions on her face became clear for all to see.
“No problem.” Cordy whispered, not knowing what else to say.
They both looked at one another awkwardly at first, but then Cordy regained control of herself and smiled nervously.
“I’ll let you change. If you need anything…I’ll…I’ll be right outside.” She said, swallowed back the millions of questions that sprung in her mind.
Cordelia walked out and shut the door, quietly, behind her. Once she was out and standing in Angel’s bedroom, she let out a deep sigh, almost forgetting that she had been holding her breath all this time.
Inside the bathroom, Alessia closed her eyes and clutched the sweater to her chest. Swallowing back a couple of tears, she looked down at the piece of clothing in her arms and took a deep breath. She slowly brought the sweater to her face and smelled it. It smelled like him. It smelled like Angel. Alessia closed her eyes again and placed the sweater on the counter. After a few seconds of regaining her composure, she dug into the pocket of her pants and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Slowly, she unfolded it, revealing a small, torn out family picture that seemed to have been to hell and back. On it were the smiling faces of two small children, Cordelia, Buffy, Angel, Gunn, Fred, Wesley, Xander, Lorne and Skip. Cordy was holding a little 3-year-old girl in her arms while Buffy had her arm wrapped around Fred’s shoulders.
A small tear rolled down Alessia’s face as she looked at Angel holding Connor on his lap. After a moment, she took a deep breath and folded the picture back, placing it on the counter beside the sweater. She looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror and found herself on the verge of tears.
“I can do this…I can make this right…” she whispered to herself, leaning forward against the counter, emotionally.
--
Angel’s eyes were glued to the stairs, where Cordelia and Alessia had disappeared a few moments earlier. He, Skip, Wesley and Gunn were going over some plan of theirs to prevent Lilah and Gavin from starting the ritual. And even though they knew they had to think fast, their minds were all elsewhere.
On the two women that had walked up those stairs.
“She’ll be fine.” Skip said, noticing Angel’s constant glancing toward the stairs.
Angel turned to face Skip, suddenly snapped out of his own thoughts.
“They both will be.” Skip continued, as Angel lowered his eyes for a moment. “But I think there are some things that they need to talk about. I know it’s a shock, but…”
“That’s an understatement.” Wesley chimed in, looking up from his book.
“It is an unusual situation, but Angel, you don’t have to worry.” Skip tried to reassure the concerned look on Angel’s face.
“I know, but I’m just…” Angel began and trailed off.
“…worried about Cordelia. I know.” Skip said as a matter of factly. “But I think it’ll be easier for Alessia to open up without having a crowd of people surrounding her. She’s been through so much already…the things she’s seen and lived…” Skip said shaking her head slightly. “Let’s just say that she needs this time with Cordelia.” He added, as Angel glanced at the stairs once again. “Don’t worry. They’ll both be fine.” Skip smiled.
--
Cordelia was sitting on the edge of Angel’s bed when Alessia finally emerged from the bathroom, wearing the new clothes that belonged to Cordy and Angel. There was a long silence as the two of them tried to think of what to say to one another.
“Are you alright? Do you need anything…?” Cordy ventured, hesitantly.
“I’m okay.” Alessia answered simply.
The young woman then took a long hard look at her surroundings. Angel’s bedroom. She remembered it so vividly. It was practically the same, except for the lack of windows, which Angel would have install later in the future, she assumed. This room was much darker and the furniture was disposed differently, but overall, it was just like she remembered it.
“Wow.” She said in awe and smiled as she glanced around the room. “This is so surreal.” She smiled to herself.
“What?” Cordelia asked, looking around to see what she could be referring to.
“I was born here.” Alessia confessed after a short pause. “In this room.” She then added, finally looking at a stunned Cordelia. “I mean, not that I remember – obviously. But I’ve been told the story often enough to still get that funny feeling.” She let out a little laugh as she walked and sat beside Cordelia on the bed.
“You mean, you were actually born in Angel’s bedroom? Your moth…I mean I gave birth to you here?” Cordy raised an eyebrow and waited for the girl to answer.
“Yeah…” Alessia said, staring at the bed she was sitting on. “Right on this bed. Or so you always told me…” she said touching the top of the covers with one hand.
As she did so, something around Alessia’s wrist caught her attention; something she hadn’t noticed before. Alessia seemed to be wearing a thick, metal bracelet tightly around her wrist. If Cordelia didn’t know better, she’d have sworn that it seemed to hurt the girl. Impulsively, Cordy reached out and touched Alessia’s wrist, tracing the contour of the bracelet.
As impulsive as her mother, Alessia jerked her hand away immediately.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” Cordy swallowed with difficulty, startled by the fact that Alessia had been startled herself.
“No, I’m sorry.” Alessia apologized.
The two shared a long silence before Cordelia gathered the courage to ask.
“What is it?” she asked, referring to the piece of metal around her arm. “It looks like one of those things they had in Pylea…do you know about Pylea?” Cordy then frowned, not sure what this girl knew or didn’t know.
“Yeah…”
Cordelia took a closer look at the bracelet and saw an inscription on it.
P:02
Alessia saw the puzzled look on Cordelia’s face and pondered whether to tell Cordelia the truth or not about the identity of this bracelet and what exactly it was used for.
“It’s nothing.” Alessia calmly reassure Cordy. “It’s just something I’m stuck with. It does look like those collars in Pylea, and its use is kind of the same.”
“What?!” Cordy exclaimed all of a sudden, remembering what those collars were for in Pylea.
“Mine is deactivated. Don’t worry.” Alessia quickly affirmed. “It’s a long story and it involves Wolfram and Hart, but it’s not important.” She said.
Cordelia wanted desperately to pry for more information but the far away look that came over Alessia’s eyes as she looked down at her bracelet was enough to warn her not to. They once again shared a rather long, awkward silence, which Alessia broke with a very caring tone.
“You know if this is too weird for you…I’m sorry…” Alessia genuinely said, but Cordelia shook her head.
“No…I mean yes…it’s weird…but…it’s just mostly confusing.” She admitted and Alessia couldn’t help but smile to herself, nodding. “Can I ask you something?” Cordelia then hesitantly asked.
“Sure.”
“Skip said that he prays to God we never see the things you’ve seen. What does he mean by that? What happens in the future?” She asked and sensed that Alessia hesitated to answer. “Alessia…what…What did you see?” Cordelia finally asked, her curiosity taking the best of her.
“I saw you die.” Alessia finally whispered after a very long moment of reflection. “All of you.”
Cordelia gasped as the words came out of Alessia’s throat. She had to remind herself to breathe as she stared into the eyes of the girl sitting beside her. It seemed unreal that she was sitting there with a girl who claimed to be her daughter, and yet she knew nothing about her. It seemed unreal; then again, most things in her life felt that way nowadays.
“Tell me about you.” Cordy then asked, carefully.
Alessia took a deep breath and looked down at her hands.
“Well,” she began, thinking about where to start. “I’m 19 years old…I've never been in love...though I'm not a virgin...” she said and noticed Cordelia’s wide eyes. “I don’t know what to say!” she then laughed out loud. “I hate broccoli…” she tried with a raised eyebrow.
Cordelia couldn’t help but smile.
“I was born and raised in this hotel.” Alessia suddenly continued, in a much lower and reminiscing tone and Cordy stopped smiling and listened. “I know every inch of it. Every dark corner and every spot of light.” She paused and then looked at Cordelia for a long while. “You always said that I had my father’s eyes. I think it was mostly the eyebrows. And he always said that I had your smile. I remember sitting in the courtyard, watching the sunrise with him…” Alessia said, remembering herself sitting on her father’s lap at 5 years old.
Cordelia felt her mouth getting dry as a horrible thought crossed her mind.
“Yes he did.” Alessia promptly answered, even before Cordy could even ask it out loud. “He died too.”
“How? How did you know what I was thinking before I even…?” Cordy asked, clearly puzzled and taken aback.
“I am half-demon too, you know. And I do have about twenty something years of technology, practice and evolution on you. It’s one of my powers…and one of yours that you have yet to discover.” Alessia said with a smile.
Cordelia stared at her and her heart sank a little. She was half-demon. For some reason, Cordelia had almost forgotten about that; about the fact that any child of hers would also have demon blood in her.
“I was born with my powers and I developed them pretty quickly.”
“So you read minds?”
“Sort of.” Alessia said. “When I was little, you and dad refused to listen to Skip and bind my powers. He said that it wasn’t good for a child to be able to peak into people’s head on the street or anywhere. But you didn’t want to do that…though you eventually taught me how to control it – thank God!” Alessia laughed.
“Why? What happened?” Cordy asked, intrigued.
“I think it was the sex talk at the dinner table that prompted the decision.” Alessia said with a grin and wider eyes. “There are just some thoughts parents shouldn’t want their kids to read!”
“Oh…OH!” Cordelia said, realizing exactly what Alessia was referring to.
“Yeah…after that, you trained me to control my power. And we kind of struck a deal. In honour of preserving a certain normalcy in our mother/daughter relationship, we agreed that I was never going to read your mind, and you would never read mine.” She said simply. “And after that, I never did.” Alessia confessed and then paused. “Except once…” she said as her eyes grew sad and she looked away from Cordelia.
“What is it?” Cordy asked, concern filling her voice.
“It’s nothing.” She dismissed but Cordy didn’t buy it.
“Alessia, what is it?”
“It’s just…nothing….it’s being here…it’s just hard, remembering.” She said, tears filling her eyes. She then turned to face Cordy and began to speak again. “I remember the last time that I saw you…” Alessia whispered with tears in her eyes. “We had lost so many people already…and you were trying to hide us – me and Connor. I remember that you took us to this abandoned building, because you knew that they were coming to get you. I can remember it so clearly…” she continued, getting up from the bed and walking around the room. “That night, I watched you from the bed where I was tucked in, and I saw you standing by the window. You knew what was going to happen, and yet there you were, smiling.” She added, amazed at the memory herself. “I didn’t understand at the time how you could be smiling, watching the rain pour outside. I can still see it…I remember that in the middle of the night, you sat by my side on the bed, with tears in your eyes, and I will always remember what you said to me.” Cordelia was listening to Alessia tell her the story of that night and chills ran through her entire body, as if she was living it. “You looked into my eyes and took me in your arms and told me never to be afraid of who I was or where I was from. You said that I could do anything and that I could be anything, and that no matter you would always be with me. You kissed my cheek and hugged me for a long time without saying anything, and then you smiled through your tears and told me that you were proud of me.” Alessia said, her voice shaking under her tears. “You asked me to never let anyone convince me otherwise. You asked me to be a strong and brave little girl. And I know I asked you why you were crying, but you smiled and said that it was because you loved me.” Alessia paused, taking a deep breath and wiping a few tears from her eyes. “You let me read your mind that night. You held my face and you kissed my forehead, and you passed on the visions to me. You stayed with me that night and held me until I fell asleep. And in the morning, when they came you asked Connor to take me with him and you hid us in a huge closet. I can still see you bend down on your knees in front of me and take my little hands and kiss them, and you said ‘you can change the world Alessia. You changed mine.’” She whispered, reciting Cordelia’s words. “I heard everything in there. The cries and the yelling and the fighting…Connor held me and we stayed in there. You had made us promise that we’d stay hidden. But I heard them drag you out into the rain…And even though I had promised, I burst through the door when I heard you scream. I remember going to the window and I saw them beat you up and shove you into a car. You weren’t crying. You weren’t even fighting anymore. And I stood there and watched…” Alessia breathed heavily and swallowed back the trembling in her voice. “And that was the last time I ever saw you…until now.”
Cordelia was speechless. Tears were rolling down her cheeks involuntarily as she stared at a shaken Alessia. What was she to say now? What could she possibly say to that? Her heart broke at the thought of what this little girl had to see and endure.
“You gave your life, just like dad had done, to save me and Connor.” Alessia said in a stronger voice.
There was that question again. Her father.
“Your father…” Cordelia began but Alessia cut her off.
“I can’t tell you who he was. Is…will be…” Alessia said, now confusing herself with her verb tenses. “I like to believe that you don’t need me to find him…I like to think that some things are just meant to happen…”
Cordelia nodded, a little disappointed but at that point, a bit too emotional too care. She cleared her throat and spoke again in a weak voice.
“Were we at least happy?” Cordy said with tears in her eyes. “I mean, were you happy, just for little while at least?” Cordelia desperately needed to know that not everything had been horrible and tragic. She needed to know that with all her heart.
Alessia sat back down on the bed and smiled through her teary eyes.
“Very.” She whispered. “You were happy, and most of all you were loved.”
Cordelia felt a sigh of relief escape her throat at the sound of those words. She was loved. That thought seemed a bit foreign right now, but she held on to Alessia’s words.
“My father loved you with all his heart, and gave his life for you…never doubt that.”
They both took deep breaths and stood silent for a little while. After wiping the tears from their eyes, Cordelia raised an eyebrow, and looked at Alessia sheepishly.
“Can’t you…like…give me a little hint? Just a tiny little hint…” she grinned.
Alessia pondered that question and smiled.
“You always told me that it was pouring rain when you realized that you were in love with him.” Alessia grinned back.
“That’s the hint? That’s all?” Cordy said with wide eyes.
“It’ll be enough, you’ll see.” Alessia whispered.
Angel stood in the doorway, unbeknownst to the two women, with tearful eyes, as he watched them. He saw Cordy tentatively reach a hand up and place it on Alessia’s shoulder. The scene made his un-beating heart tremble. They never saw that he was there, but he had been there long enough to hear everything from Alessia’s story. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and closed his eyes, unable to take the image of Alessia and Connor in a closet out of his mind.
“Angel?” Cordy’s voice made him open his eyes quickly and he saw the two young women stare at him from the edge of the bed.
Part 4 (of ?)
Angel looked up from the doorway and met the glances of the two women sitting on h is bed. Not before this moment had he realized how alike they both looked. Alessia’s hair seemed a bit darker than Cordelia’s but the highlights brought on a striking resemblance to her mother. Her tone of voice was just like Cordy’s. The way she raised her eyebrow, questioningly or teasingly. The way she just sat there.
Angel found himself at a loss for words for a moment. He then cleared his throat and took a few hesitant steps into the room.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt…I just…” he said motioning to the open door.
“You didn’t.” Alessia quickly reassured him, giving him a weak but bright smile. “Besides…it’s…your bedroom.” She made a gesture toward the room.
“It’s alright.” Angel softly smiled back. “You can use it…” he offered her.
“So what’s up? You guys concocted us a real full-proof plan?” Cordy said, with fake joy and hope filling her every word. At the look on Angel’s face, her face fell back to normal and she mumbled. “It was worth a shot…”
“Wesley is trying to figure out how to stop the ritual if we get to the point where Wolfram and Hart starts it, and Skip is helping him, giving any tid-bit of information he can remember about the whole thing.” Angel sighed. “It’s one thing to know what’s going to happen, but it’s another to actually stop it.”
“But you will.” Cordy half-stated, half-asked.
Angel’s eyes bore into hers, in that way that allowed her to read him to perfectly.
“I won’t let them touch Connor…I don’t care what I have to do…Nobody will get their hands on my son.” He said in a low, threatening voice that Cordelia strangely found comfort in.
“Good. Good.” Alessia interjected from her place on the bed. “Good plan so far. I like this plan. That’s a very good plan.” She repeated with a thumb up.
Both Cordelia and Angel turned to face her as she nervously spoke.
“Did your parents….” Angel began but then stopped himself mid-sentence. “I mean…Did Cordy ever tell you details about the ritual that would help us?” he softly asked.
“I know that there’s a book….It’s a very complicated and demanding ritual and they have millions of rules to follow and chants to do, and it’s in this book that Wolfram and Hart keeps somewhere…” Alessia said, trying to remember something. “I just can’t remember where…” she said through her teeth, grabbing her head and desperately trying to remember.
The events of the last hour or so were still weighing heavy on her and it seemed the more she wanted to remember the details that her parents had told her about the ritual, the more she forgot them. Angel quickly placed a hand on her shoulder, reassuring her that it was alright. They would find a way.
At the moment he placed his hand on her, Alessia’s heart stopped beating. She held her breath and stared into his dark, comforting eyes and she froze. She couldn’t help herself. She watched him intensely for a few seconds, before reminding herself to breathe normally.
Angel then got up and walked towards Cordelia, slightly brushing her arm with his hand. The gesture seemed to send shivers throughout her body and they just stared at one another with such intensity that Alessia found herself feeling out of place. But she still watched the scene before her eyes, her heavy heart breaking into pieces.
“You look tired…” Angel whispered to her.
Cordelia began to assure him she was fine but he didn’t let her finish. The look in his eyes silenced her and they both knew that yes, she was tired, and still hurt from their earlier fight with demons, but that no, she wouldn’t go home.
“Gunn and Fred went to warn Dennis that you were here and not to worry…” Angel then said.
“Thanks.” Cordy whispered back.
At the sound of Dennis’ name, a soft giggle came from behind them. They turned around and saw Alessia with a huge smile on her face as she sat on the bed still. The girl let out a small sigh and looked up at Angel and Cordelia.
“What’s so funny?”
“Why don’t you guys use the phone?” Alessia said, clearly amused.
“You do know that Dennis is a ghost right?” Cordy raised an eyebrow as she questioned her future daughter.
“Hello? I lived with him for most of my life. I do know he’s a ghost.” She replied tenderly. “A very skilled one at that too…” she added in a very low, reminiscing sigh. “But the ghost can still hear the machine pick up…” she began to explain and then felt stupid. “I guess that’s just a tactic you guys will begin using in the near future…” she nodded and got up from the bed.
“So I still have Dennis in the future?” Cordy asked, clearly happy at that thought.
“Of course.” Alessia smiled. “Dennis and I are like this.” she said, crossing her fingers. “We used to have the most awkwardly interesting conversations…among other things.” Alessia grinned, looking at Cordelia and Angel as if she knew a secret they didn’t.
“What do you mean?” Angel asked.
“Oh, let’s just say I was probably the only child in LA whose talk about the birds and the bees also involved a loofah.” She said, obviously amused by the way this conversation was turning out.
Cordy’s eyes grew wide and she stared at the girl, shocked, for a moment. Angel looked back and forth between Cordy’s shocked and flushed face and Alessia’s wicked grin and he found himself completely clueless.
“A loofah?” he said, confusion crystal clear in the way he questioned Alessia. “What is she talking about?” he turned to Cordelia who seemed a bit nervous now.
“You know, it’s probably not good to give out too many details about the future…” she told Angel, trying to change the subject. She laughed nervously and faked obliviousness. “I have no idea what she’s talking about!”
Alessia successfully tried to repress a little giggle. It was nice.
This.
This was nice. After the emotional talk she’d just had with Cordelia, and before all the heavy 3 days that lied ahead of them, it felt nice to have a light moment like that, even at the expense of her mother. She couldn’t help but smile.
Angel nodded, still not understanding the inside joke between Cordy and Alessia, but he decided not to pursue it. Then, a deep silence fell between them and Angel finally remembered why he had come up in the first place. He looked back and forth between Alessia and Cordy, sensing the remaining tension, the awkwardness even, but also the kind of understanding that seemed new between the two.
“Well…” Angel broke the silence calmly. “I just came up to get Connor’s teddy bear…” he said.
As soon as Connor’s name was mentioned, Alessia’s face turned mournful and her heart sank. She had to struggle with herself not to let her eyes well up with tears once again. Cordelia also reacted to Connor’s name, but differently. She looked back and forth between Angel and Alessia, knowing that the two probably needed to talk as well. This girl…this beautiful, emotionally drained young woman who stood before them and who claimed to be her daughter, had come all the way over here for Connor. It automatically built a connection between Angel and the girl; a connection Cordelia suddenly acknowledged.
“I’ll take it to him.” Cordy said, taking the stuffed animal from the desk and looking back at Angel.
She gave him a knowing nod and began walking to the door. Just before she stepped out, she stopped and quickly turned around, facing Alessia with fearful mother-y eyes. She wasn’t a mother and clearly had no idea what it was like to be one, but Alessia recognized that look. She knew that look.
“You didn’t…I mean…the loofah…with Dennis…you didn’t…?” Cordy tried to ask, dreading the answer.
Alessia repressed an amused smile. Okay, admittedly, it was a weird conversation to have.
“The curiosity would have killed me…” Alessia grinned, trying not to laugh at the shocked expression on Cordelia’s face.
“O-kay!” Cordy gasped and then turned around and left the room. “I am so going to kick his ass…” she said taking a deep breath while walking out.
Once Cordelia was gone, the light-hearted mood seemed to vanish with her. There was a long silence that wrapped around Angel and Alessia as the two of them looked everywhere but at one another. They were alone. What was she going to say to him? How was she going to look in his eyes, knowing what the future held for this man? She swallowed back the lump in her throat and waited for him to say something first. That had always worked with him in her past…his future…Gosh she was confusing herself with those time things.
“So…” Angel said, finally looking at the young woman in front of him. “You have the visions now?” he asked, knowing already the answer.
“How long had you been standing there?” Alessia asked in a quiet voice.
Angel stared into her eyes and saw the hidden sadness and pain in them. It distracted him for a moment but not too long for him to forget what had been the question.
“Long enough.” He admitted.
Another awkward pause interrupted their equally awkward conversation.
“Thanks for the sweater.” Alessia then honestly spoke.
“No problem.” Angel replied, his voice nearly chocking for no reason at all.
All he could do for a moment was examine the person in front of him. Standing on her 19 years, she seemed much younger than that, yet in other ways, like when she spoke, her voice seemed wise beyond her years. The lines on her face indicated the many things she probably had to survive, but there was still this innocence in her eyes. An innocence Angel found remarkable. Behind that innocence was a darkness, that he also found himself relating to. Whatever that girl had seen and lived, he could see how it had shaped her life. How it had nearly broken her many times.
Angel found himself watching her, mesmerized by the light and shadows in her eyes, by the playfulness and seriousness in her words, by how lively yet emotionally drained she appeared to be. Such contradictions.
Contradictions that mirrored Cordelia’s, but also his at times.
Suddenly, Angel felt self-conscious, and Alessia realized the change in his posture as he stopped his inner conversation with himself.
“I’m not reading you.” She promptly reassured him. “If that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I wasn’t.” Angel lied, knowing that the thought of Cordy’s daughter reading his thoughts and feelings had momentarily startled him.
After a moment, Angel could not repress the questions that were taunting him.
“I heard what you told Cordy about your life…about your father.” Angel spoke, looking at her.
Alessia Chase. Cordelia’s daughter.
The thought once again made Angel’s undead heart flutter. A part of him wanted to smile at the thought that Cordelia had been loved and had loved in return in the future. Yet, there was another part of him that slightly broke his heart, knowing that he could not be the one to give that to her.
Alessia lowered her eyes, not only because she didn’t want to look at him, but also because she didn’t have the strength. She had meant it when she’d told Cordelia that she didn’t want to tell her who her father was. She had meant it…but would she still mean it for 3 whole days?
“Was he a good father?” Angel asked.
Alessia was slightly surprised by the question as it was not exactly the one she was anticipating. She looked up into Angel’s eyes and nodded tenderly.
“Yeah…” she whispered. “The best…”
“Good.” Angel whispered back, his eyes boring into the bedroom door where he had seen Cordelia disappear earlier. “It’s good to know that…” he said, unable to hide the emotions in his voice, as he got up and began to walk towards the door.
Alessia felt bad for the vampire sitting beside her.
“Will I give him a hard time?” Angel then asked, and Alessia smiled.
“Definitely.” She answered with a nod. “I think it was hard for you to look at him sometimes…” she answered softly. Angel lowered his eyes as she continued. “But you liked him.” She smiled.
“Really?” Angel seemed a bit surprised.
“Yeah…”
“On a scale of one to ten, how much did I actually like him?”
“I’d say a solid 8.” Alessia smiled and Angel found himself giving her a gentle smile back. “Sometimes 9.”
"Impressive." Angel admitted. "I really will like this guy..."
Alessia looked at Angel and took in all his features, her heart skipping a beat.
"I like to think that you did."
Angel gave Alessia one last look. There was something about this girl. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
“I hope your father knew just how lucky he was to have you as a daughter…I hope he got the chance to tell you.” Angel whispered.
“He just did…” Alessia whispered to herself as a small tear rolled down her face.
“What did you say?” Angel asked, turning around as he stood in the doorway.
Alessia held her breath and looked at him. She lowered her eyes and shook her head, remembering the rules of the PTB.
“Nothing.”
She heard Angel walk out and just as she was about to sit back down, something came back to her. She was hit by a flashback and she found herself bolting for the door and stumbling into the corridor.
“Wait!!” she called out to Angel, who immediately turned around and ran back towards her. “I know where the book is…”
Part 5 (of ?)
The whirlwind around her seemed to wind down a little, and she found herself staring at the stairs impatiently. Connor lay asleep in Fred’s arms across from her and she absent-mindedly nodded from time to time when the ex-Pylean refugee spoke to her. Skip stood nearby, examining Cordy’s expression and posture.
She didn’t seem to mind – or even notice for that matter – as she was too busy thinking back to her conversation with Alessia. She could still hear the soft, heartbreaking whispers; see the small tears in the girl’s eyes as she told Cordelia parts of her story.
“Are you okay?” Skip’s voice broke her out of her own thoughts.
Cordy took her eyes off of the staircase for the first time and looked at Skip, who was now standing in front of her, looking concerned.
“Yeah…” she managed to speak, after pondering the question silently.
“Listen,” Skip said, making sure his voice was low so she would be the only one to hear him. “I’m not sure what she told you, but I have a pretty good idea it wasn’t easy to hear.” He took a deep breath. “Cordelia…Ally…she’s…There is just so much more…” Skip began and then stammered. He lowered his eyes and sighed. He couldn’t do this to Alessia, not after he had promised. “It’s…”
“What?” Cordy’s eyes grew concerned, and Skip glanced at the stairs, silently.
“Nothing.” He finally spoke.
“They’ve been up there for a really long time…” Fred then chimed in from beside them.
Cordy’s eyes immediately went to the stairs and she put down the teddy bear on the counter.
--
With slow and hesitant steps, Cordelia pushed the door to Angel’s bedroom open and walked in, surveying the room with her deep hazel eyes. Alessia’s bloodstained clothes remained on the chair by Angel’s bed.
“Angel?” Cordy asked in a quiet voice as she made her way around the room.
She looked into the nursery, but no one was to be found. With a frown, she called out Angel’s name one more time.
“Angel?!” This time, a slight fear and panic took over her words.
Angel and Alessia were nowhere to be found. The room was completely empty. She stood there for a few seconds, until Skip walked into the room behind her.
“They’re not here.” Cordy informed him in a fearful tone. “Skip?” she pressed him for an explanation, even though she wasn’t sure he had any.
“They’re gone.” Skip said, taking in the situation.
“I got that part already – thank you.” Cordy gritted through her teeth. “How did they leave without any of us noticing?! And why?”
Skip took a deep breath as he looked around the dark bedroom.
“I think I know where they went.” Skip’s voice was filled with warning and resignation.
--
The loud sound of the door crashing down onto the floor broke the intense silence that swept through the Wolfram and Hart office building. The weighed of Angel’s feet sent the piece of wood flying open and Angel stepped in, followed by a very alert Alessia. The two of them looked around the room in silence before Angel turned to her.
“I don’t like this…” Angel mumbled, as if they’d had this discussion before. “You shouldn’t…” he began but Alessia’s exasperated sigh stopped him.
“Oh would you please stop it?” she mumbled. “I’ve seen worse than Lilah’s office, believe me.” She added in a softer and kinder tone, raising an eyebrow.
The two of them searched the dark room quickly with their eyes and stepped inside. Angel walked towards the desk and began looking through the drawers but Alessia stopped him immediately.
“Not there. Here.” She said pointing to the wall.
Just as Angel was lifting his eyes from the desk, a look of darkness overshadowed his eyes. Alessia noticed it instantly and her eyes turned to what Angel was staring at.
“So it is true.” A voice was heard from the doorway.
Alessia stared, a dark, almost dangerously disturbing look invading her young hazel eyes. Angel instinctively, and protectively stepped beside Alessia. For a moment there, he was almost taken aback by the expression on her face. So intense. So dark. So reminiscent of his own inner darkness, and it pained him to see such an expression on her face.
“You did come all the way over here to save the world.” Lilah spoke, leaning against the doorframe, staring at Angel and Alessia.
Angel moved to step in front of Alessia, trying to threaten and intimidate Lilah, but he was shocked when Alessia stopped him. The girl grabbed his arm forcefully and took a few steps toward Lilah herself. There was a long and intense silence between the three of them and Angel almost cringed at Alessia’s stubbornness. Why was she acting this way? What was prompting it?
Angel watched as a tiny smirk appeared on Lilah’s face. The woman took a few steps towards Alessia, whose eyes begged Angel to stand back.
“How do you know?” Angel growled, working really hard on not ripping the woman’s head off with his bare hands.
“I have my contacts.” She said, amused. “What a nice family portrait.” Lilah grinned and then looked around herself with a frown. “Where’s mommy?” she asked but Alessia only clenched her jaw and stared at her dangerously. “Awww…don’t tell me she left you to fend for yourself once again…” a wicked smile brushed her lips. “At least you’re not in a closet this time around.”
That was it. In a burst of rage and anger, Angel stepped passed Alessia and grabbed Lilah by the throat, shoving her against the door frame. He held her there, nearly chocking her to death as he gritted through his teeth:
“Give me one reason not to kill you.” His voice was low, scary, threatening…making the demon in him proud and cheerful.
He was almost stunned when he saw her smile. Here he was, nearly strangling her and she was smiling at him. The next thing he knew, Alessia’s firm grip was on h is shoulder and she was begging him to let go. The sound of Alessia’s voice confused him at first but the girl kept tugging on Angel’s shirt, pleading for him not to do this.
“Come on, do it.” Lilah challenged Angel.
“Angel don’t!” Alessia begged of him.
“Yeah…you wouldn’t want to traumatize poor little Ally here…” Lilah laughed as Angel let go of her and backed away slightly. “What kind of father would kill in front of his own child?” she spit out as the entire room became silent. "Although...maybe she's used to it by now..."
Angel literally froze, finding himself unable to move, or think. He turned to face Alessia, who was now lowering her eyes painfully. Angel opened his mouth to say something but at the sight of the heartbroken teenager, no word came out.
He had heard Alessia’s words back in his room. At first, he had not been sure what she had meant, and even though he had wanted to ask about it, he had seen that deeply shattered look in her eyes. That look. Those eyes. It had stopped him from asking her. And it did not as well. That guilt and helplessness on her face was silently begging of him not to say anything.
He stared at the young woman in front of him, realization dawning on him for the first time. Alessia Chase.
Cordy’s daughter. Cordelia Chase’s daughter.
And he sucked in an unnecessary breath.
His daughter.
“Was it something I said?” Lilah smirked, sensing the obvious intensity and shock that invaded Angel’s undead body.
“Shut up.” Alessia’s words were the only ones breaking through the silence.
Her voice was low, shaky and immensely threatening. Her eyes focused on Lilah’s face and stayed there, never wavering, never blinking. Angel was too numb to think coherently at the time. All he could do was stare at the girl beside him. There was something in Alessia’s eyes that made him painfully aware that he wasn’t supposed to know the truth. He had not been meant to know. But now he did.
“What is it, Ally. The truth too painful to hear? Or maybe you just wanted to let ‘fate’ take its course? Was that it?” Lilah’s condescending tone wasn’t lost on Alessia but the girl remained silent. “What are you doing here, huh?” she then asked, shaking her head.
Alessia and Angel knew that she wasn’t talking specifically about her office.
“Do they know? Do they really know what you are giving up here?” Lilah asked as Alessia simply stared with tears in her eyes. “They don’t know you. They don’t love you.” Alessia felt her heart break inside her chest as the words rang into her head. “They can’t love you.” Lilah spit in Alessia’s face. “You’re willing to give up your life for these people?”
“Shut up…” Alessia repeated through her teeth as tears welled up in her eyes involuntarily.
“You’re willing to give up everything that you have, for people who don’t even care about you?”
“Yeah…yeah, I am.” Alessia spoke, tearfully but firmly.
Angel felt his un-beating heart break inside his chest at the sound of Alessia’s emotional voice.
“I don’t care if they don’t know me. I don’t care if they can’t remember me…” she continued, trying to hold back her tears. “I don’t care if they don’t know who I am, or what I did, or what my life was. I don't care if i don't exist here...I don’t care if they can’t love me…” she said, her last words ending in a heartbreaking whisper. Angel closed his eyes in pain at the sound of her words. “If you come anywhere near them, or if you hurt them, I will make you pay…I will…no matter what.” She threatened her.
“How heroic of you…” Lilah muttered, staring at the strong, tearful girl. A long ad painful silence stood between the three of them before Lilah spoke again, obviously pleased by the effect her words had on both Angel and Alessia. “It’s too bad that when you look at her, you see your mother. When she looks at you, all she sees is a stranger…”
A small tear rolled down Alessia’s face and she slowly glanced at Angel. There was no need for words. Behind the tears and the emotion, a determination and a darkness that mirrored his own shone through. With one look, Angel knew exactly what Alessia was silently telling him.
As if they both knew what the other was thinking, Angel headed straight for Lilah while Alessia skipped passed them and headed towards the wall. Angel grabbed Lilah firmly and banged her head on the doorframe, knocking her out so fast she barely even noticed. In the meantime, Alessia stood in front of the large, white wall, staring at it intensely. She carefully placed her hands on it and moved them, slowly, while Angel watched. He wasn’t sure what she was doing but she seemed so concentrated that he didn’t say a word. After a few quick seconds, Alessia stopped moving, her eyes piercing through the wall, and with one painful move, she threw her fist into the wall. A small cry escaped her throat as her fist went through the wood and built a large hole into the wall. She clenched her jaw in pain and reached further down in the hole, pulling out a thick black book with her bloody hand.
--
Cordelia, Skip and the others jumped when they heard the front door of the Hyperion slide open. Cordy found herself springing off her chair and nearly running into their direction. She saw the worry-filled expression on Angel’s face, before noticing the quieter, subdued, and emotional look in Alessia’s eyes.
Something had happened. She knew it.
Angel glanced at a silent Alessia and his thoughts went back to Lilah’s words…to the truth. Not a word had been spoken during the ride back to the hotel. Even if it killed him not to say anything, he could see in Alessia’s behavior that she’d rather he did not mention it. And now, as he stood beside her, seeing the painful way in which she looked at Cordelia, he knew that Cordelia didn’t know.
And he silently agreed not to be the one to reveal the truth.
“Oh my God!” Cordy exclaimed, seeing the cuts and bruises on Alessia’s hand. “What happened to you?” she asked, grabbing her daughter’s bleeding fist in her hands.
“We got the book from Wolfram and Hart.” Angel said, tossing the book on the table.
He turned and watched as Cordelia grabbed a first aid kit and began taking care of Alessia’s injuries. He didn’t pay much attention to Wesley and Gunn’s talking in the background. His eyes were resting on the two women on the big couch. This time, he was painfully aware of the hurt and sadness in Alessia’s eyes. The young girl could barely look Cordelia directly, and that’s when Lilah’s words came back to aunt him.
“What is wrong with you?!” Cordelia said, glaring towards Angel as she continued clean Alessia’s wounds. “Are you nuts!? Going off like that….”
“It was her idea…” Angel answered in his boyish, puppy dog voice of his that Cordelia knew way too well. “It was!” he tried to defend himself.
“So what? You agreed.” Cordy replied.
“Well, she is your daughter…” Angel said as if that said it all, and Cordelia raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like she would take no for an answer.”
“Wonder where she got that from?” Gunn said in an amused voice, as he and Fred smiled.
Throughout all of this, Alessia had remained strangely silent. She looked down at the floor while Cordy finished putting the bandage on her cuts. Alessia swallowed the big lump in her throat before looking up to Cordelia and thanking her. Skip noticed the invisible tears hidden in Ally’s eyes and he knew that there was more to it than meets the eye.
“What’s wrong?” Cordy asked just as Alessia looked up to her, finally.
“Nothing.” Alessia answered in a sad voice. “We went, we got the book, we’re back. It buys you time.”
Cordelia looked back and forth between Angel and Alessia and suddenly got this weird sensation that there was more to it than what Alessia was willing to let on. Cordy’s eyes bore into Angel’s and her heart skipped a beat.
“What happened?” she asked with determination.
Angel opened his mouth to say something but no word came out.
“Nothing.” Alessia spoke again, standing up. Her voice was soft and gentle. “Nothing…” she repeated, as she looked at her mother’s concerned face.
Deep down, Lilah’s words rang true. She was a stranger to the. To all of them.
“I’m…I’m really tired.” Alessia whispered in a heartbreaking tone as she glanced at an equally emotional Angel.
“You can take my room. That’s okay.” Angel said, avoiding Cordelia’s intense stare.
With that, Alessia walked up the stairs.
"Ally?" Skip called out and she turned around to look at him. "That was really brave of you..."
Alessia lowered her eyes and let a small tear rolled down her face.
"No it wasn't." she whispered before turning back and leaving.
Cordy waited for her to be out of sight before she walked up to Angel and pressed him to tell her what had happened.
“Angel, look at me.” She said, forcing him to look at her.
He looked at her with tears in his eyes, getting lost in the confused and worried look on Cordy’s face. They both stood there, staring at one another in silence, and Angel lowered his eyes once more. He felt the warm touch of Cordelia’s hands on his as she tenderly wrapped her fingers around the coolness of his skin.
“Angel…tell me…” she whispered, a mixture of emotion filling her voice.
--
Alessia helplessly let herself slip onto the floor, crying and bringing her hands to her head in pain. Her tears were silent but her face twisted. She grabbed her head and sat with her back against the door of Angel’s bedroom.
She cried like that, in the dark, as her body shook in pain. Her body jerked around a couple of times and she tried to hold her breath, willing the pain to go away.
The bracelet on her wrist lit up a few times and each time, she felt herself tremble, helplessly. Salty tears rolled down the side of her face as she bit her lower lip, repressing the sound of her cries.
After a few minutes, she gasped, took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself, closing her eyes. She sat on the floor in the dark bedroom where she had been born, where she had slept so many nights before. The metallic bracelet finally stopped flashing and she regained a more normal breathing.
She comforted herself in the darkness and silence of the room, until a few whimpers startled her. She looked up and saw the door to the adjacent nursery open, hearing Connor’s tiny little noises fill the room.
--
Cordelia stood there, speechless. Angel had told her about what had happened at Wolfram and Hart. Everything.
Everything except the most important part. The part, which Alessia had purposely kept secret thus far.
The part where he was a father.
That secret wasn’t his to reveal. That secret wasn’t his; it was Alessia’s.
Angel had told Cordelia about the things Lilah said to Alessia and how it seemed to have affected her deeply. As the two of them stood there, processing Lilah’s words, Skip walked up to them and placed a hand on Angel’s shoulder.
“Okay.” Skip sighed heavily and gave them a very disturbingly intense look. “I shouldn’t be doing this…and Ally would probably kill me if she knew that I was about to do this, but I have to…” he added in a low voice. “I think it’s time the three of us have a little conversation.” He spoke with a grave expression on his demonic face.
Angel and Cordelia both looked at him with concern in their eyes.
“About what?” Cordelia asked, almost dreading his answer.
“About that girl who just walked up those stairs…and about all the things that she’s been keeping from you.”
Continue on...