Title: The Sacrifice
Author: Angelalias
Chapter 1: Voices
She felt her head drop.
Painfully.
Regretfully.
The whole room around her bathed in excruciating silence. Her heart was about to explode. Or was it her head? She didn’t know. At this point, she did not really care either.
Cordelia kneeled on the ground, wearing nothing extravagant or fancy, just old sweatpants and a tight dark blue t-shirt, and she let her fingers carefully linger on a piece of metal. Her heart stumbled within her chest and nearly broke itself into pieces.
But despite her heart’s misbehaviour, her eyes reflected pure despair, masked by raw anger.
She was angry.
She was sad, but she was angry.
And now, all of a sudden, kneeling down on the cold floor in the basement of the Hyperion, she felt lost.
She was lost.
She leaned back on her heels and looked up, almost pleadingly. Begging with her eyes.
She heard that voice in her head once again. That voice she so desperately wanted to believe.
“Everything’s going to be alright…trust me.”
That voice. That young, confident, reassuring female voice. Nothing was alright. Nothing.
She had lost them. She had lost herself.
Cordelia removed her hand from the sword that lied on the ground and took a deep breath, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ears.
One small tear rolled down her cheek, before she closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, painfully.
--
“How is she?” a familiar female voice asked.
Wesley, Gunn and Fred exchanged a worried look before turning back towards Buffy, Xander and Willow.
“Not good.” Wesley finally said as his voice threatened to choke.
“I don’t understand…I mean…how? Why?” Xander spoke in a barely audible voice as the realization dawned upon him. “I mean…Cordy?”
Buffy lowered her eyes, obviously struck by an emotional whirlwind.
“Has she had any other visions since it happened?” Buffy managed to ask.
“Yes. One.” Wesley answered before taking a shallow breath. “Supposedly painless, but…” he began but stopped himself.
“That’s not where the pain comes from anymore.” Fred finished his thought.
“Maybe if I talk to her…” Buffy whispered, almost to herself, but loud enough so that everyone heard.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Gunn finally spoke up, his tired face facing the
slayer.“Maybe I can help…I know what she must be going through…” she tried to explain but the words failed her.
“I don’t think you do.” Wesley gently informed Buffy. “I don’t mean to diminish anything that’s happened to you, or the things that you do, and did…but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to talk to her.”
“Well, somebody needs to be there for her…” Willow said in a sad tone.
“She won’t listen to you.” Fred said as a tear rolled down her face. “She won’t listen to anyone anymore…”
Fred’s voice was shaking, breaking into the thick air that filled the Hyperion.
It was suffocating now.
Almost dead. “She will never trust anymore…” Wesley finished Fred’s musings in a bare whisper.
“Where is she?” Willow asked.
“Downstairs.” Gunn answered, bending his head down as a signal he wasn’t going to say anything more.
It had been two days. Two long, agonizing days.
They couldn’t help her.
She had shut them out.
She had shut herself out in some way too.
“What is she doing there?” Buffy asked, paying attention to the somber faces of Cordelia and Angel’s friends.
“Nothing. Anything.” Fred replied in a quiet voice.
“She’s probably pushing herself towards exhaustion because that’s the only way she’s found to not think about this for 2 seconds.” Wesley added in a worried yet sad tone. “She’s probably practicing her newly acquired passion for sword fighting…” he added, sounding pensive.
“Sword fighting?” Xander could not help but inquire. “Cordy fights? With a sword?”
“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” Buffy tried to put into perspective. “She’s trying to do something…she’s trying to get back up…I would think that’s a good thing…”
She stopped herself when she saw Wesley’s tear-filled eyes stare back at her.
“Not when every time she picks up that sword, it kills her a little more…”
--
Cordelia’s eyes spitted anger into the darkness of the basement. She stood, immobile, in a fighting position, holding a sword in front of her.
Nothing mattered.
Nothing mattered anymore.
The guilt, the hatred, the tears, the anger….the suffering…shone through her eyes as she stared in front of herself.
She found herself doing something she had not been particularly found of in the first place. She was practicing those slow-motion techniques Angel had taught her.
“Everything’s going to be alright…trust me…” she heard that voice inside of her again.
Anyone who would have looked at her from a distance would have said she was relaxed, calm even.
But she wasn’t. Her eyes were filled with sadness, pain and mostly anger. That never-ending anger. Why was she angry? Who was she so angry at? The answer was simple yet so complicated.
Herself.
“”Why didn’t you tell me before?” His voice. Angel’s voice.
Cordelia closed her eyes as she continued her silent ritual.
“Don’t be afraid to let yourself be saved.”
Why had she listened to her, Cordelia wondered as she swung the sword into the air in a fast-paced move suddenly.
“Ok, then, let’s just get this over with…” she heard her own voice repeat the words in her head.
“Look at yourself!” that teenage voice again.
Cordelia held her breath and swung the sword into the darkness again.
“Cordy, you know what you have to do…” Angel’s voice rang in her head repeatedly.
“I can’t do this…” she remembered answering in a faint voice.
“You won’t have to.” She heard him say again as she inhaled painfully. “I’ll be fine…”
Those words. Those small words…
“I’ll be fine…I’ll be fine…I’ll be fine…everything’s going to be okay….trust me…I’ll be fine…”
All the voices chanted together in an agonizing cry inside her head and Cordelia couldn’t stand it anymore. She dropped the sword to the ground and fell to her knees almost immediately after. She bowed her head down and suddenly her mind stopped shouting.
Silence again.
She opened her eyes and looked at an invisibly marked spot in the middle of the room and the silence was broken once more.
“One of us deserves to be saved…” that teenage female voice whispered in her head once
more.Cordy leaned her back against the wall and wrapped her arms around her legs.
She didn’t feel like she had been saved.
She didn’t feel saved at all…
--
“She’s strong. She’ll get back up. She’s Cordy…” Xander spoke as if it was that simple. “She’s not one to dwell on guilt for too long…”
Wesley looked at him and then lowered his eyes.
“She’s not that Cordy anymore….” He told him with a bit of pride in his voice. “I know it’s easier for all of you to think of the Queen C that made your lives miserable in high school but…so much has changed. She’s seen so much, and felt so much…The girl who didn’t care, with the quick tongue and the loud mouth…that’s not Cordy anymore. At least not entirely. She’s not invincible Xander. She never was…even though she tried to be.” He said. “I’m not sure either of you would recognize her anymore…And after this…now…”
“She’s alone.” Buffy finished, understanding perfectly what Wesley meant.
“She’s not alone…” Willow said in an insisting voice, but she stopped herself.
They all stayed silent for a while.
Struck by the news. Struck by emotions. Struck by the simple shock that all of this could have happened so fast.
Struck by so many little things that made them silent.
“At the risk of sounding redundant, how??” Xander asked once again, this time in a barely audible whisper that broke everybody’s hearts. “How did this all happen?” he asked, bewildered.
“When you called.” Wesley said as he addressed Buffy.
The confused look in her eyes prompted him to continue.
“It all began when you left that message for Cordelia about her cousin…”
“…Emily…” Buffy whispered, remembering.
“It all began with Emily…” Wesley spoke in a low, painful tone as he remembered the events of that week.
Chapter 2: Emily
Three weeks earlier…
She was running.
She was running faster than she’d ever run in her entire life.
Breathless.
Fearful.
The sound of her reckless feet hitting the ground resounded in her ears as she occasionally looked over her shoulder with eyes that pierced the night with fear. She was out of breath, but she didn’t care. She was exhausted, but she didn’t dare stop running. She couldn’t.
Her long dark hair flew as she hurried on the sidewalk, never slowing down.
She ran as if something chased her.
A young teenager, she was.
Only a teenager. Why was she running so fast? What was she running from?
Suddenly, the young girl screamed in pain and fell to her knees, bringing her escape to a serious halt. Her agonizing cry resounded in the L.A. night. Her palms violently hit the ground as she struggled to get back up on her feet. But it was too strong. The force was too powerful. She lifted her eyes and saw half of the moon dancing above her head, and as her eyes filled with invisible tears, she pushed herself up, struggled to regain her balance and looked over her shoulder one more time.
Drops of sweat sparkled on her forehead as she managed to capture her breath. She brought her hands to her chest in pain, shaking her head, and mumbling something incomprehensible.
“I got it…Got it, okay…” were the words that she let out repeatedly before starting to run again.
This was getting worse.
Much worse.
--
The Hyperion Hotel bathed in profound silence and emptiness, until the loud ringing of the phone broke the tranquility.
It rang….again and again…until the machine picked up. Cordelia’s voice was heard, telling whoever had called to leave a message after the beep.
“Cordelia?” the familiar voice asked in a surprisingly worried tone. “Cordelia, if you’re there, please pick up…” after a while, Buffy took a deep breath. “Look, this morning, I got a visit from your cousin, Emily. She was looking for you…it seemed very urgent. I don’t know what’s wrong but she sounded very desperate to find you. I gave her the address of Angel Investigations, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she was on her way right now…” Buffy explained, still with that concern in her voice. “Cordelia, something’s wrong with her. She sounded very strange when I spoke to her. I don’t know, maybe it’s nothing and I’ve just been out of the loop for too long…Anyway, her parents came barging in just now because she’s disappeared from the hospital…I didn’t tell them I had seen her, but I really think something’s up here…just…juts wanted to let you know…” Buffy finished, before hanging
up.Right as her voice faded, the Hotel became silent once again.
Too silent.
--
She began running again, as fast as she could until she saw it.
Its roof, its darkness, its grandeur. She couldn’t be wrong. It had to be it. She ran towards it as if her life depended on that one last sprint towards the door. She reached the large door of the Hyperion and banged on it, opening her mouth to speak but no words would come out.
“Cor…” she began but it only came out as a whisper.
No answer.
Nothing.
Nobody.
She paused to take her breath and examine her surroundings when an invisible forced pushed her against the door violently. She closed her eyes in pain and fell to the ground, right in front of the door.
--
Later that same night…
“I’m okay, I can still walk…” Cordelia’s voice was heard from a distance.
“They are getting worse and worse…this is not good Cordy, and you are not okay.” Angel insisted in a low voice.
Gunn and Angel helped Cordelia get out of the car and wrapped her arms around their shoulders.
“You guys are complete mysteries to the female kind, you know that?” she mused as they helped her walk towards the door. “Big muscles and all….while big, dorky softies underneath.” She said looking back and forth between Gunn and Angel, managing a tired
smile.She coughed once or twice on their way to the door.
Angel’s eyes rested on her face.
Tired.
Brave, but tired.
These visions were definitely taking their toll on her and he could see it.
Cordelia turned her head slightly enough to catch a glimpse of his stare. Forcing a smile that went to her eyes, she managed to ease down the hidden fears she’d seen plastered on Angel’s face.
Wesley walked in front of them, going to open the door, when he stopped in his tracks.
They all followed his motion, slightly confused, slightly fearful.
“Oh my…” Wesley began and then rushed to the door.
There.
Lying on the ground, was a young girl’s body.
Cordelia let go of Gunn and Angel as their eyes landed on the bloody, motionless – not to mention unconscious – body. The two men rushed to Wesley’s side, never realising the look of horror on Cordelia’s face. Fred stood behind Cordelia.
She froze.
She found herself unable to move.
Cordelia’s eyes were fixated on the girl.
Angel, Wesley and Gunn turned to face her when they heard her voice and they saw the shock on her face.
“Oh my God…Emily…” she spoke again as she rushed towards the young girl and knelt on the floor beside her.
“You know her?” Fred asked, as she seemed oblivious to anything and everything else around her.
Cordelia went to touch Emily’s face but the blood stopped her.
So much blood.
A long and painful silence befell them.
A haunting silence.
A dreadful silence.
“She’s my cousin…” Cordelia finally managed to let out.
Angel, Wesley and Gunn all stared at her momentarily, a bit stunned by Cordelia’s words.
“We need to get her inside, right now…” Angel said, reaching for the girl’s hand.
As soon as his fingers brushed against Emily’s hands, Angel gasped in pain and fell backwards.
It burned.
His fingers felt as if they were burning.
Cordelia turned and saw him grab his hand painfully and fear spread across her face. She tore her eyes away from Angel and looked back down at young Emily’s motionless body. Never mind the fear. Never mind the doubts, or the danger. Cordy grabbed her cousin’s arms and tried to lift her up. Her lack of strength was not helping the case here and she knew that.
She didn’t care.
The feel of the warm, wet blood on her hands made her shiver initially.
Right then, Emily began to move, and she slowly opened her eyes, grimacing in pain.
“Cordy…” her voice was shaky and her words simply wavered out of her mouth.
“It’s okay…it’s okay…” Cordy whispered, desperately trying to reassure the young
teenager.Gunn, overcoming the initial shock of Angel’s fall, grabbed the young girl and lifted her in his arms.
“Careful…” Wesley said, pushing the door open as they all walking hurriedly.
--
She barely moved while Cordelia bandaged her arm, carefully. She barely spoke.
Such fear and worry filled everyone’s eyes.
If they only knew…
“There you go…” Cordy said, giving Emily a tiny smile and sitting down beside her.
“Thanks.” Emily managed to say.
By the time Cordelia had been done with helping Emily, Lorne had arrived at the Hyperion. His initial reaction to seeing young Emily had been a confusing one.
The look on his face.
His long silence.
His staring.
For some reasons – inexplicable ones – Lorne had been taken aback by the sight of the strong female teenager. The look they had exchanged had not only piqued Cordelia’s curiosity, but it had also worried her.
“What happened to you??” Cordelia asked, concern in her voice as she took a seat beside her cousin.
Angel and Wesley sat nearby, while Fred and Lorne sat around the counter in utter silence. All eyes were riveted on Emily.
“Nothing…I’m fine…” Emily spoke.
Her voice. There was a warning in her voice.
She hadn’t arrived on their doorstep by chance.
Her eyes shot Cordelia one of those looks – those same looks Cordy could throw at them sometimes.
“I need to talk to you…” Emily said in a low voice as she faced Cordelia.
Such darkness in her eyes. Yet, there was this youth, this lively sparkle of hope.
“Emily, you show up here covered with blood, I think I have the right to know what happened to you first.” Cordelia insisted.
“Were you attacked?” Wesley inquired, looking as thoughtful as ever.
“No…” Emily said, shaking her head.
What else was she to say? Nothing else except for a simple no came to mind.
None of them seemed too convinced by her rather short answer.
“Oh sure, I end up on people’s doorsteps with cuts and bruises all the time too…” Cordy sarcastically said before shooting Emily a warning look. “You might as well tell us because we’ll find out anyway.”
“You can tell us if you were attacked…” Wesley said trying to reassure the young girl.
“Was it weird? Did it have weird features and all…” Cordelia tried to subtly get something out of her cousin’s mouth.
Emily rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.
“It wasn’t a demon Cordelia.” She said in a tone that made it pretty clear to everyone she knew what she was talking about.
“You know about demons…?” Angel finally spoke up.
“Uhm…hello…I am from SunnyHell. If you don’t know about demons, you’re a hermit or you’re screwed, whichever you like best.” Emily said in a typically Chase tone.
A short silence invaded the room after those words were spoken.
“You must be Angel…” Emily softly spoke as she looked into Angel’s eyes.
Those eyes. They seem so familiar. She looked at him as if she knew him already.
“Do I know you?” Angel inquired slowly.
A small smile crept on Emily’s face and she lowered her head.
“No.” she responded after a short pause.
Cordelia looked back and forth between Emily and Angel. There was something she couldn’t put her finger on in the way Emily looked at Angel. It was calm and peaceful…it was familiar. All of a sudden, Emily looked calm.
Very calm.
“Emily…” Cordelia spoke, not knowing exactly where to start. “What are you doing here?” she then asked with a frown.
“Just wanted to visit my favorite cousin…” Emily smiled.
Cordy stared at her, unconvinced.
“Emily, what happened to you out there?” Cordelia asked in a concerned, low voice.
There was a long silence.
Emily stared at her cousin’s eyes and stayed silent for a while.
“You should tell her doll…” Lorne finally spoke up from the other side of the room.
Emily simply stared at him, still not making a sound.
Cordelia glanced over at Lorne and then back to Emily.
“Tell me what? What’s going on?” Cordelia asked, but didn’t let Emily answer. “It was a demon, wasn’t it?” she blurted out.
“No…It was nothing demon-y…well, not technically.” Emily said, pausing for a moment. “It’s complicated…”
“I’ve got time.” Cordelia pressed her.
“Well…” Emily started and then thought for a second. “God this is going to sound really cheesy, and I really don’t want to steal Haley Joel Osment’s thunder here, but, hum,” she began and then leaned forward closer to Cordelia’s face. “I see dead people.” Emily finally spoke in a soft, low voice.
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