[nodakskip]

Admittedly, this story isn’t really horror-related aside from being of special interest to certain fans of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.” That’s because The Asylum is launching a preemptive strike against the movie version of 50 Shades of Grey with its own thematic mockbuster, Bound, starring the lovely Charisma Carpenter, aka “Cordelia Chase.”

By casting “Buffy/Angel” alumna Charisma Carpenter as a sexually-repressed woman, they look to be catering even more to the “mommy porn” crowd as well as striking a chord with the fanboy audience. Well played, Asylum.

Carpenter stars as the daughter of a wealthy real estate broker who falls in love with a younger man (Bryce Draper, of the upcoming horror flick Muck), who introduces her to BDSM. Using her newly awakened sexual prowess, she finally takes charge of her own life.

This already sounds like the greatest movie Shannon Tweed never made.

Rounding out the cast are Daniel Baldwin and ex-NFL star Terrell Owens. Terrell Owens?!?!

Bound is directed by Jared Cohn, who gave us the Asylum’s T&A prison flick Jailbait earlier this year along with last year’s Pacific Rim mockbuster Atlantic Rim/Attack from Beneath. Depending on how things play out in the film, Attack from Beneath could also be an appropriate title for this as well.

***RIMSHOT***

No; not that kind of rimshot. Get your heads out of the gutter, people!

Bound is bound for VOD/DVD on February 10, 2015. That’s just a few days before 50 Shades of Grey opens in theaters. The Asylum website also mentions a theatrical release on January 9, 2015.

I know I cannot be the only person shocked The Asylum’s version isn’t titled 60 Shades of Grey or 50 Shades of Beige or, in the spirit of their “Walking Dead”-ish Syfy TV show, BDSM Nation.